A/N: Hello guys! Are you surprised because you got a new chapter in an unusual day? Are you wondering if this is real or not? Are you picturing that an alien kidnaped me and got my personal information and forced me to post a new chapter? Are you thinking that I have a memory leak and I'm lost in days, thinking it was Saturday instead Wednesday? Let me tell you that none of that happened, thankfully. I updated today because... We have a birthday, ladies and gentlemen! Today is 'MrsDarrenCriss3' birthday! So, as a humble and simple virtual gift, I decided to post a new chapter for her! I wish you can have a totally awesome birthday, full of fluffy, unicorns, rainbows, Nutella and cakes! May all your dreams come true! Don't forget to make a wish when blowing out your birthday cake's candles! Now, birthday girl, it's up to you if you want to read this chapter today or not; I don't know if I recommend you to read it today. But anyways, I hope you all can enjoy this early update and this new chapter! On Saturday, you'll get another update and everything will return to normal, unless there's another birthday and you want as present a new chapter! You could let me know when your birthday is, if you want! Now, as usual, I'll reply my reviews!
SkittlesPanda: Why are you so sure that something bad is gonna happen to them? Oh right, maybe because you've already read all the chapters I already posted and you know I have this serious trouble! Maybe 'angst' should be my second name; actually my third name because I do have a middle name. Thank you for saying that my writing brings out emotions that other stories usually don't! I really try to make it, hence why I picture everything as a movie when writing! haha I'm weird, maybe. I only hope you don't die!
alicegursk: Uncontrollable emotions are always awesome emotions! I'll start describing my uncontrollable emotions in that way! And I hope you can give me some of your awesomeness, we'll make the team of awesome wives! Okay, let's go to the story as you said! Honestly, I thought about the game spin the bottle, then I said, nah! I've already wrote about that game, it'll better if they play another one. I spent hours thinking about questions! It was tough. I'm sure that if I'd have watched the episode 'I do' by the time I wrote this chapter, I'd have written something about them having sex and then just this 'just friends' awkward situation; but unfortunately, I couldn't! haha. I like this new Freckles too! Finally she's more self-confident! But I do think she's weird anyway; you'll see. And well, let's see if she stills love him or not! Oh! You'll get so many chapters talking about that! I love you too and more when you put this adorable face: :3 It reminds me to a little kitten!
zahra auob: Zahra! I'm glad you liked this chapter! Well, Freckles and Darren still have to talk to make up things! It'll be a very important talk that could change everything, for better or worse. But there happen things in between, before the talk; and this is what you'll get in this chapter! Well, I'll write about StarKids in this second part because they're part of Darren's life in his college time; but they won't appear a lot because the main topic is always Darren-Freckles; among other characters that will appear! Anyway, is hard to write them because they have a peculiar sense of humor and awesomeness that I could never get! Awww thank a lot for saying that my chapters are the best thing to wake up to! It made me feel really happy!
Nicole: I wonder if someday Pigfarts will have internet access, then I guess everybody would want to live there until the end of time! You got to ride Rumbleroar's back! I so envy you! (In a good way, of course) Now that you told me your experience, I'll keep working on my rocketship to go there! Yes, I know! Poor Darren! I think things will be messy between him, Freckles, and now Joey! I think you know me, with the twists and all! Ah! The drinking game! It was so hard to write because questions wouldn't come to my mind! I spent a lot time thinking about questions and making them connect somehow! So, do you suspect that Jim was starting to have feelings for Freckles and for that he has done what he has done? That's an interesting theory! You'll know, eventually, the reasons. Yet, you'll have to wait a long for that and you guessed right! I won't tell you anything about it, only because I'm cruel and I want you to be intrigued about it! And also because I like when you tell me your theories, it's always awesome to read your own conclusions, I really enjoy it! Hugs and butterflies kisses for you!
amritsoomal: Please don't kill anybody! You don't wanna be jailed! Unless it's a jail in Pigfarts with talking animals, in which case everybody would love to be jailed. Joey and Freckles... Well, there's a story between them, here are the options: 1. They're gonna be haters. 2. They're gonna be just fellows. 3. They're gonna be friends. 4. They're gonna be fuck buddies. 5. They'll have a love affair. 6. They're gonna get married in Las Vegas while drunk and then they are getting divorced. 7. They'll get married until the end of time. 8. Joey will turn into water and Freckles into olive oil, so they won't be compatible and Darren will drink the water and cook bacon in olive oil. Now, you have to choose an option! 'Then you can play happy families again' I laughed so hard when I read this; actually is very accurate! I want a mustache comb too! Once I saw it here in a random shop and I wanted to buy it, but it was so expensive! Too sad! And I'm not like Freckles that can do one by herself, I'm not good at all at that shit! 'whatsherface' hahaha I can tell how much you love the fuck buddy! (Add sarcasm here) The bitch is called Kelly! haha. Oh, there'll be something interesting about her too! See? You didn't have to wait for so long till the next update, and you got a new chapter on Wednesday! I don't think I'll post every Wednesday because I'm starting college again next week and this is my final thesis, so I'm gonna be kind of busy to write so many chapters! But eventually you could get surprises!
MeMi83: Yes! They found each other and Freckles walked away from Darren hastily! I think it's because their situation is complicated! I'll insist that they have to talk, but the interesting is what happens before they can talk! And of course what will happen before they get to talk. Well, I'm really glad that you're liking the twists because you'll tons of twists since they relationship is a big huge complicated twist! This is so nice and cute to know that you don't have to pretend it! So, you said that you're glad that your reviews encourages me to keep writing because it allows you to keep reading, so I guess we both win! At least I know I'll have you as my reader and I love that! 'Have a wonderful week full of RedVines, unicorns and warm fuzzies!' You too! :)
Kaylacriss332: Omg! You've told your friend the question of the shaving cream! That's hilarious! I'll ask my friends the same, so I'll know if they're dirty minds, just as your friend turned out to be! haha. It was really hard to think about all the questions, like I think I'll never do it again. I spent literally hours thinking about questions, writing questions then discarding them, writing again other questions, reformulating questions, trying to make some funny and dirty questions. Argh! It was really tough. And, I can't promise you to not kill this again! You know that it goes against my overdramatic mind!
caarolineboeira1: Hi Caroline! Well, Freckles is not one of those girls who are messing around in life slapping people, even if maybe it could happen, someday. See? I wasn't so cruel and I let her talk to Darren! So you have a bad feeling, huh? Well, I think the same than you; she won't just forget what Darren 'did'. From this chapter on, you'll get just few hints of why Freckles acted that way with Darren, even if she still thinks Darren has left her. After few chapters you'll completely understand what happened to Freckles after that, maybe. And I also think that Darren needs to tell her that Jim was the guilty. But things will happen before they can talk, good or bad things, I won't tell! Her possible eating disorder, that is something that Darren thought, we have to wait to see if it's in fact like that or not. Remember that in this story Darren is 'the king of overreactions' according to Freckles, haha.
Vicky: I love the fact that you've asked me questions! I love to answer questions! I did see the trailer of Imogene/Girl Most Likely. How do I think Darren will be in that movie? Three words: Sexy as hell. Yes, for the little I could see, he looks very appealing; the part in which he danced, it was just very sexy for me and I wished I could be Kristen Wiig and more because they had sex, lol. Besides that, I think Darren will be like this young guy who's talented and is into singing (duh) but only got to work as a Backstreet Boy impersonator; a guy who will help Imogene to overcome her troubles and of course Imogene would fall in love with him (who wouldn't?). And I do think that Lee (Darren) will be interested on Imogene, but I'm not sure if they will end up together, in a serious and consistent relationship. I think I will totally love this movie and the character that Darren is gonna perform. Now what I think about Come What May. I think is one of the best songs of the season (besides The Scientist because I love Coldplay, Don't Stop Me Now because I love Queen, It's Time, Dark Side, Homeward Bound/Home and Mine); but definitely I loved that and I'll tell you why I loved it so much: not only because it's Klaine and I love Klaine. I really love this song because I haven't seen the performance and I already felt a lot of feelings. Both Darren and Chris, only with their voices, made me feel the real meaning of the song; and there aren't many artists and songs that can actually produce me an intense feeling as if I were feeling the happiness, sadness, love, desperation or whatever any song is about. Now, you see, that's something only a really good and talented artist can do. Now about the story and Freckles; I also like this new Freckles because she is more self-confident, but she is weird. And now from this chapter on, you'll find out why Freckles reacted that way with Darren and she didn't slap him or whatever. But you won't get all the reasons only in this chapter. Maybe she's gonna revenge, that's an interesting theory; maybe she is hiding something behind. You'll soon understand completely! And sorry for the long response, I just really love answering questions!
SamCollinsHolmes: My Sherlock! haha Were you really answering the questions? That's really great! I can totally picture you doing that, like those games in which you have to answer quickly because you've a limited time to answer them. I don't know why, but I pictured it like that! The story of Hakuna Matata! Oh my wizard god, Gab! Such a coincidence! Actually it's not a coincidence, I was given the power of reading minds, but I should keep it as a secret. No, really, it's really funny! I can't believe it! Like you're Darren (of course, we talked about this) and you bff is Joey! Do you realize how fucking awesome that is? Actually the real reason of why Freckles cannot be with Darren again is because Freckles is imaginary, she really doesn't exist. All of this is a big damn lie! Nothing of what happened is real. It was only a dream that Darren is having; and Darren isn't Darren. Darren is just a talking acorn that has feelings and is dreaming his last dream because a squirrel called Quirrell is gonna eat him and Squirrel Quirrell is gonna share him with Voldy because they're an odd couple and they're different as can be. Oh damn! I think I spoiled you the end of this story. I'll have to call Men in Black to erase your memory, or maybe I could cast the Obliviate spell. Are you really going to study at University of Michigan? Like, really? That would be geez! So impressive! I was also researching about it for a graduate program, a Master of Urban Design and a Master of Architecture; once I get my degree in Architecture at the end of this year. But I'm not still sure about it. And you'll be in the same program as Darren, I must assume! Yeah, Darren is gonna be flirty, like really flirty; or maybe not! And the story you wrote for English! I couldn't stop laughing! For me it had sense, they just cannot understand the awesomeness of having a weird mind in which everything has perfectly sense. You mixed a lot of stories and reference to different shows, books, movies and reality. So I do think they may envy you! But I'm disappointed because you didn't mention anything about riding Rumbleroar's back (I'm obsessed with that and I'm looking forward for the day I get to do it). Don't worry for taking so long! I'm glad I could reply you in time, before updating a new chapter, my awesome Sherlock! With love, your Moriarty that is taking vacations!
Well guys, that's all! I hope you feel happy because of this early update! Remember, on Saturday I'll post another chapter and everything will return to normal! So don't worry. I'll let you read this chapter. Finally you're getting Freckles' POV! You'll know a little bit of how she feels about all of this that is happening! Everything is already said, so I wish you a lovely Wednesday, Thursday and Friday; full of butterflies, suns, rabbits, squirrels and acorns (or actors?); until next Saturday!
Teenage Dream – Chapter 33 – Somebody I used to know.
Your life at college has started and you were now at the University of Michigan to get a B.F.A. in Interarts Performance. You were excited about starting college, but you weren't excited about that you could see Darren there. You knew that he was attending the University of Michigan and he was studying to get a B.F.A. in performance and acting; so it was probably that you were going to see him, mostly because you had some Theatre & Drama introductory elective courses and for that you had to go to the same building than him. That idea terrified you. It's been a year since the last time you saw him, when he left you that note in that hotel room. That day destroyed you and you were a complete mess; you were very depressed for imagining something with Darren that couldn't be. It was as if everything you've ever planned and wished suddenly faded away. You were aware only about one thing: You needed to forget Darren as easily as he dumped you. It was a tough year, but you overcame it and to overcome it, you changed. You literally changed everything: You changed your phone number, so he wouldn't talk to you again; you changed your school, so Darren wouldn't see you there; and you changed the place you lived and moved to L.A. with your mother and sister, so Darren wouldn't find you in your old house. While living in L.A. you changed your appearance, your personality, your likes, your interests, your everything. You were another person now, very different from the person you were the last time you saw Darren. You had new friends and a new style of life. You even had a new boyfriend. You knew that your relationship with that new boyfriend wasn't meant to be, but you lasted more than half a year and it ended when you had to go separate ways to start college. You liked him, but you could never love him the way you used to love Darren. Anyway, now that you were starting college and with that a new life, you were positively thinking that you could meet a new guy who could take your breath away just as Darren did in old times. You didn't know anybody there; anybody except Brian. You changed everything, but you didn't change him. You always kept talking to him and you met occasionally in L.A. You and him became good friends, best friends. He helped you a lot in those times you were depressed and he helped you see that life could move on even with the most terrible things. You still couldn't believe that the guy who you hated became your best friend and the guy who you loved became a stranger; it was ironic. The first thing you did when you arrived at the University of Michigan was to see Brian. You were hoping that you could share a room with him, but he had already a new roommate. Anyway, he told you that in the end of the first term, he was going to move to another room with you. Until then, you had to find a roommate. It wasn't so hard; your new roommate was going to be a girl of second year. When you met her, you realized that she was cool and funny, fortunately. She let you decorate the room the way you wanted and she loved it. She respected your schedules for everything, she respected the space you needed to do that you liked to do, and she respected your new habits such as foods and order in the room. And you also respected her; you really wanted to get along with your roommate. One of the things you two agreed was that if someone of you wanted to invite someone, neither of you were going to complain; that way, you were going to be able to invite Brian and she was going to be able to invite her friends. So you didn't complain when she asked you if she could invite two of her friends; actually you wanted it, maybe you could get to know more people in here. You never expected that one of her friends could be Darren. As first you saw him, you felt shocked because you weren't expecting to see him so soon. He was right there, looking at you; it was him. You felt really nervous and uncomfortable, but you pretended to be fine. You needed to act naturally, as if he was just another guy. You planned what to do if you ever had to greet him; you planned how to act if you ever had to be with him. Yes, you overcame it; as if nothing ever has happened. You needed to keep in mind your plan; you needed to keep in mind that what happened between him and you was long time ago and now you both were different; you needed to keep in mind that it's been more than a year and neither of you had feelings for each other now. You needed to act with him as if he was a stranger just as he was, because he was a stranger now. You never thought you could feel so nervous, and more after hugging him. To have hugged him was the most terrible thing you could have done. You immediately remembered his smell, the feeling you used to have when you were in his arms, the comfort and warmth of being in his arms and how well your body fit with his. Anyway, you tried to dissipate those feelings. But as the night continued, it was being hard. You were enjoying your time with him and it wasn't supposed to feel like that. But he was funny and he was lively. And he looked really different as you remembered; he looked as a man and not as a teen; there was something weird on his face... and his hair looked weird; damn, that was an amazing big afro and curly hair. And the alcohol wasn't helping; you shouldn't have gotten drunk because you knew how you were while drunk: you were very clingy, handsey and grabby; and you didn't want Darren to misinterpret anything and more than Meredith kinda forced you to sleep with him. You weren't comfortable about it, but you didn't want to arouse suspicion that you and Darren were more than peers in high school. You couldn't remember so much how it was to sleep with Darren again because you were drunk; but you could remember what you felt when you saw him sleeping very close to you when you woke up. You felt something weird in your chest, something that you haven't felt in a while, like a pressure and also you felt a ticklish in your belly. But soon you remembered again what he has done the last time you saw him, so you quickly got up and forgot about that feeling. You weren't going to make the same mistake with him again. You were going to try to get along with him, but nothing else was going to happen with him; not again. So that was it, you were going to act to him as if he was just a random person you recently met, just as if he was like Joey. Darren Everett Criss was only a random guy who you just recently met; no bonds, no past between you and him.
"Hey Sunny, what's up? I hope I made it in time, I came as fast as I could." Brian said shaken and troubled.
"Yeah, yeah, you made it in time." You answered trying to make him feel less troubled.
You've been waiting for Brian at the Café ConXion at SQ in the Central Campus. You called him to ask him if you could meet because you needed to tell him urgently that something really important happened; you needed to tell him about Darren because you didn't know with who else you could talk. Apparently, what you said seemed as if you've had an accident or something because he was very worried and edgy.
"What happened, Sunny?" He asked concerned.
Sunny, that was the way he was used to call you since one day you dressed up with yellow clothes and he told you that among the clothes and your cheerfulness and brightness, you looked like the sun. It was a funny nickname, but you liked it.
"Nothing really too serious; so please calm down." You said quietly.
"Alright..." He said frowning and suspiciously. "What is that you wanted to tell me so urgently that couldn't wait because it's a matter of life or death?"
"Oh yeah, right. I tend to overreact sometimes." You answered giggling.
"Yeah, I think so. Gee, I thought that you had a kind of accident but you look fine. You're fine, aren't you?" He asked again suspiciously.
"Yes, I'm fine, I guess." You answered shrugging and he looked at you expectant, as if he really wanted to know what happened, so you sighed before speaking. "I saw Darren."
"You saw Darren?" He asked surprised, looking fixedly at you. You knew what kind of look it was, he wanted to know more. "So...? How was it to see him again?"
"I don't know... weird." You answered, looking away.
"Sunny, you knew that you were going to see him sooner or later. I don't know why you're altered about this if you prepared yourself for this." Brian reminded you.
"I'm not altered." You answered frowning.
"Sure not, but you needed to talk to me about something really important or you were going to explode. Those were your words." Brian said looking fixedly at you.
"I told you already, I tend to overreact." You said on the defensive.
"Okay, tell me now, have you greeted him?" He asked curiously.
"Well, I haven't only greeted him..." You replied looking down and raising an eyebrow and when you looked up at him, he was looking at you expectant. "It turns out that he's one of my roommate's friends. And well, she invited two of her friends last night, one of them was Darren; so I spent the night with him and I slept with him. Yeah..." You explained quickly to say it all in a jiffy.
"You what?" He screeched really loudly and perplexed.
"Yes, that what you heard." You said trying to avoid his look. You knew he wouldn't like it so much.
"Wait, wait, wait. You slept with him? What?" He asked still very puzzled.
"Yes, I slept with him, Brian. But nothing happened; at least that is what I can remember." You explained quietly, feeling embarrassed because some people were looking at you and Brian because of the way Brian yelled.
"What do you mean with that at least that is what you remember?" He asked suspiciously, trying to speak lower.
"Oh yes, because I got drunk." You explained, still avoiding his gaze. Now you knew he was going to scold you.
"What? Oh man, what the hell? What's wrong with you?" He asked stunned.
"Nothing is wrong with me." You replied frowning, looking at him a bit upset. "I just wanted to have fun and we played a game. I didn't intend to get drunk, it just happened."
"Right." He said shaking his head. "And how do you explain the fact that you've slept with him?"
"What's with that? I only slept. No big deal. It's not as if I've never ever slept with a guy in the same bed. I did it with Darren in the past, I slept with Ian, and I've even slept with you, Brian. I don't see why you make of this a big drama." You replied annoyed.
"Because with Darren is different. You and I are only friends and we're aware of it, so it's not bad. Ian was your boyfriend and it was fine that you've slept with Darren in the past; but now you and him don't have the same relationship than before, it's different now, you don't have the confidence to do it." Brian explained serious as you kept looking away. He was right at some point. "Why have you done it?"
"Only because we drank too much and he doesn't live in the same building than me; so he stayed at my room. I only slept with him because the two of us had to wake up at the same time and Meredith and her other friend, Joey, didn't have to wake up early. That's why." You explained trying to remain quiet and Brian was still looking at you concerned. "Nothing happened, really."
"How did you feel?" He asked.
"I don't know, I already told you, I felt weird." You answered honestly. "He's funny and he looks... Well, he looks good. We got along pretty well and I had fun. But I'm aware that nothing ever is going to happen between me and him, not again. He's just like a guy I've just met. I'll be polite and kind with him if he deserves so; but I'll keep in mind that we're nothing but acquaintances." You explained trying to sound convincing.
"And have you felt attracted to him?" He asked gingerly.
"Well, yeah... But only because it's the first time I see him after a year. He was important to me, he isn't anymore, but something remains there, the memories I have with him." You said and it seemed that Brian didn't believe you judging by the way he was looking at you. "Honestly, he isn't important to me anymore and I don't feel attracted. It was just a fleeting feeling; because this morning I didn't feel attracted to him anymore."
"Okay, I believe you. And how has he reacted when he saw you?" Brian asked curiously.
"He seemed to be surprised." You shrugged, indifferent.
"Just surprised? Hasn't he tried to talk to you about what happened between you? Or hasn't he flirted with you?" He asked.
"No, he hasn't tried to talk to me about what happened. And maybe he flirted a little, yeah; but I flirted too... I guess it was only for the alcohol. No, I'm sure about it." You answered trying to sound indifferent again.
"Oh, Sunny." He said sighing and shaking his head as if he was disappointed. "And your roommate hasn't wondered why you and Darren acted as if you knew each other?"
"Yes, she asked if we knew each other."
"And what have you answered?"
"Nothing; that we were just peers in high school. I never explained that we were a couple and I think that Darren never told anybody that he had a girlfriend in high school, because his friend Joey had no idea who I was but he knew who Jen was, for example." You answered frowning.
"What are you gonna do now?" He asked intrigued.
"I won't do anything. I'll just act as usual because nothing changed. I only saw him, talked to him, laughed with him, tickled with him, slept with him... But nothing else; not the end of the world, no big deal." You answered while raising an eyebrow when you realized that actually you've already done a lot of things with him and this was only the first time you saw him. "If we see each other again, well, it's fine. But I won't look for him; I'm not interested of being friends with him. But if by chance it comes to happen, well, we're gonna be just friends."
"Okay..." He said sighing. "Are you gonna talk to him about what happened?"
"I don't know... Maybe yes, maybe not. As I said, I won't look for him but if ever we talk again and he wants to talk about it, I won't oppose. But I'm not gonna be the first to talk about it. If he wants, fine; if not, cool." You said shrugging.
"You know that the best is if you talk to him, so you'll really know what happened." Brian said insistent as he's been since you told him about the note and the hotel room.
"I know what really happened, Brian. He dumped me. Clearer, impossible." You replied, raising an eyebrow.
"But what if he didn't want to do it?" He insisted as always. "He couldn't just have dumped you with no reasons, not after the kind of relationship that you guys had."
"Well, but he did, Brian. I don't wanna talk about it anymore. Let bygones be bygones." You answered upset. "And in any case, he's not the same as he used to be. And I'm not anymore that girl I used to be in high school; I'm different now and I have other plans for my life, and Darren isn't on them." You said roundly, surefire.
"Fine, fine! Don't get mad at me!" Brian exclaimed raising his eyebrows. "Summing up... Are you happy to have seen him again or not?"
"I'm just indifferent. I don't care anymore, so our reunion didn't mean anything to me." You answered shrugging.
"Okay, but telling you what I think and considering the way you told me you had something very important to tell me... I do think it meant something to you to have seen him again." Brian said raising an eyebrow and looking at you fixedly.
"Do not insist, Brian. It meant nothing and end of this conversation." You said sighing. "Tell me, how was your first day in college?"
Brian and you kept talking for a little more and you even skipped your next class, only because you missed talking to him. It was good to know that now you and he were going to be able to see each other more often this year, even if you weren't in the same campus. You couldn't wait to move with him to an apartment in Ann Arbor, out the campus. After a while, you came back to the north campus because you had to draw few sketches for your course of Concept, Form, and Context I: The Human Being. When you arrived to your room, Meredith wasn't there and it was good, because you had a lot to do; there was a note from her that said that she was going to a bar in Ann Arbor with her friends and just in case you wanted to join them, she gave you the address. Of course you weren't going to go, surely Darren was with them and you didn't want to see him again, at least not that day again; maybe another time, you thought. You took advantage that Meredith wasn't there to put the music out loud while quietly grabbing a white paper to place it on an easel. You grabbed your charcoal pencils and started sketching, trying to copy the drawing 'Head of a Young Woman with Tousled Hair' by Leonardo de Vinci. Gee, it was super hard and you regretted to have chosen that drawing. You were so focused trying to copy the eyes of the woman in the drawing until someone knocked the door. Surely it was Meredith. Before opening the door, you lowered the music volume and rubbed your eyes because they were aching for having spent hours drawing nonstop. When you opened the door, the person who was there was Darren. You looked at him surprised, raising an eyebrow.
"Hi Darren. Meredith isn't here." You said as soon as you saw him.
"Yeah, I know." He answered and you looked at him curiously, frowning. "I'm not here for Meredith."
"Oh, is it because you forgot something here?" You asked looking fixedly at him.
"Yeah..." He answered, running his fingers through his hair, looking down. You knew that expression of him because it hasn't changed: whether he was nervous or he was lying.
"What is it? I'll see if I can find it and then I'll hand it to you." You said. You weren't going to let him in.
"I... Well... It's... Can I come in?" He asked awkwardly, now looking at you.
"No..." You answered curtly and he looked down, biting his lower lip. "I'm busy and really, the room is a mess. Tell me what you forgot here and I'll give it to you."
"Umm... Well, I forgot... I forgot my hoodie." He answered babbling.
"Okay, I'll look for it. Wait here." You said and then you closed the door.
You searched for his hoodie in vain, because you knew he was lying. Of course, he didn't wear a hoodie last night. Why would he show up knowing that Meredith wasn't there? What did he want? What did he expect? Maybe it wasn't a good thing to have seen him; maybe this wasn't good at all. Damn, you never thought that seeing him again was going to be like this. You thought that if you were going to see him, you only were going to see each other; you never thought that you were going to talk to him and less to see him often. You never expected that Darren was going to show up in your room as if everything was alright. Well, nothing was alright. You walked to the door again and opened it. Darren was still there, looking down; but as soon as you opened the door, he looked up nervous.
"Your hoodie isn't here, sorry." You said curtly.
"Really? That's weird! I... I thought it was here... I... Can I look for it by myself?" He asked pretending to be confused; you knew he was pretending so you looked at him serious, raising an eyebrow.
"I told you, your hoodie isn't here. Maybe you forgot it somewhere else." You said serious. "Darren... I know that last night you didn't come here with a hoodie. Why are you lying?" You asked harshly and he sighed and looked down, apparently feeling ashamed or stupid.
"I... I'm sorry." He finally said looking down. You didn't say anything, so he looked up to you. "I actually forgot something, but it's not my hoodie."
"Seriously? And may I know what is it?" You asked harshly, raising an eyebrow.
"Yeah... I forgot to ask you if you want to go for a coffee?" He asked shyly but looking into your eyes. You didn't answer and you kept looking at him serious and raising an eyebrow. Now he was even more nervous. "I guess that it's a no, isn't it?"
"Yes, it is a no." You answered curtly. Why the hell would he ask you to go for a coffee as if everything between you was good? As if you were friends or something?
"Okay, I get it." He said sighing and nodding while looking down and biting his lower lip. "Alright... Do you want me... Do you want me to leave?" He asked awkwardly. Why was he asking those things?
"Yes." You answered curtly again and he nodded and bit his lower lip again. There was something weird in his eyes.
"Fine." He said gloomy and then he looked into your eyes. "You... You have something black there..." He said pointing your eyes. Why wasn't he leaving now?
"Oh yeah, surely it's charcoal; I've been drawing." You answered and rubbed your eyes again. "Well, goodnight, Darren." You said intentionally so maybe he was going to leave.
"Yeah, goodnight." He said gloomy and looking into your eyes. "Have... have a good night..." He babbled while doing a strange movement, as if he didn't know if he should leave or stay; if he should kiss your cheek or not. You were only looking at him frowning. "You won't change your mind about the coffee, will you?"
"No, I won't." You answered.
"Okay, umm... Okay." He said biting his lower lip again. Why was he so nervous? "I hope someday we can do that."
"Yeah, maybe..." You answered now looking away, wishing that he could leave any soon.
"Good." He said nodding and looking down. "Have a good night."
"Yes, you too. Bye." You said and you closed the door before he could keep talking.
You stayed there, behind the door. Darren was still there and he stayed there for a while until you heard steps walking away. Then you felt relieved and you came back to your drawing. Why would he ask you to go for a coffee? Why? Has he really showed up here only to ask you that? What was on his mind? Did he really think he could play with you and your feelings as before? No, he needed to understand that you weren't anymore that girl who could be fooled so easily. After a while, you heard someone knocking the door again. Damn, surely was Darren again and it was annoying you. You walked to the door a bit upset and opened it. It was indeed Darren again.
"What do you want, Darren?" You asked harshly, looking at him annoyed.
"I just wanted to let you know that I'm not gonna stop asking you to go for a coffee until you accept." He said now more confident than before.
"Why are you doing this?" You asked frowning.
"Because I'd like to talk to you." He answered and you looked at him surprised. Yes, you weren't expecting him to say it. "So yeah... What do you think if we hang up tomorrow night?"
"I don't know, Darren." You answered looking away and frowning.
"Okay then, tomorrow night I'll be here again to ask you to go for a coffee and will do so every night until you accept my invitation." He said roundly and you looked at him kind of astonished. "Now I can really go. Have a good night, Freckles." He said and before you could answer or do something, he kissed your cheek. "See you tomorrow."
Then he turned around and started walking away as you remained looking at him, still astonished. You couldn't move because what he said and what he did left you speechless and stunned. When he disappeared from your sight, you finally closed the door. Oh well, you didn't know what to think anymore. You just wanted to know why, all of a sudden, he was interested on you again after a year you spent without seeing each other. Which were his real intentions? It was a mystery for you. You only hoped that you could be able to keep in mind all the bad things he has done to you. But you were scared, because, very deep in the bottom of your heart, you still had a slight feeling for him whenever he was close. You didn't want to have that feeling anymore.
"You know what, Jen? I think I screwed it." I said talking to Jen on the phone while eating chip potatoes and reading a script for my course Playwriting II.
"What? Darren, minutes earlier you were telling me how much fun you had with her, how well you got along, and how funny she was and blah, blah, blah. And now this?" Jen asked confused.
"Yeah, but I don't know, it's as if all of a sudden she stopped being funny and nice to me." I answered.
"What have you done or what have you said?" She asked suspiciously.
"Why are you all the time thinking that I do and say stupid things all the time and that everything is like my fault?" I asked on the defensive.
"Do I need to answer this?"
"No, don't do it." I replied quickly because I knew what she was going to answer: that it was because I was a hasty and impulsive guy.
"So tell me now why she all of a sudden stopped being funny and nice." Jen insisted.
"Well, yesterday morning we were walking to our respective courses and she mentioned that I was theatrical and dramatic for something minor and I whispered in her ear that she liked it, you know, in a flirty way..." I started explained while standing up to get a glass of water.
"Have you flirted with her? The first time you saw her after a year?" Jen asked serious, as almost scolding me.
"Yes, what? Is that wrong now? It's not like I've never flirted with her." I asked on the defensive.
"Oh, Darren." Jen sighed. "It's not the same than before. It's been a year; you cannot just flirt with her after a year you haven't talked to her."
"Why not, eh?" I asked defensively.
"Because it's different now, you two are different." Jen said while sighing. "Listen Darren, there's something you have to know about girls. We're not like you, guys. We don't flirt with someone the first time we see him. Because you and her? It's like the first time you see each other. We don't like it, even though guys think we do. Instead, we think that it's something disrespectful and that you don't take us seriously. When a guy flirts with us the first time that sees us, we think that the guy only wants to get a hook up and isn't interested on getting to know us, our personality and everything. So I understand why Freckles changed her way to be with you."
"Are you serious, Jen? Oh whoa, girls tend to overthink things, man. Who understands them? If we, guys, flirt with someone is because we find the girl attractive, because she caught our attention." I said frowning, not understanding at all why girls were so weird.
"Exactly, Darren. You find the girl attractive; you only see her appearance and not what she truly is. That is why we don't like it; guys are more physical while girls are more emotional. And it's been like that since the prehistory." Jen said quiet.
"Okay, okay. So you think I shouldn't have flirted with her?" I asked.
"Yes, kind of. You can flirt with her Darren, but not in the conventional way of being seductive. Flirt with her by asking her how she's doing, telling her that she looks beautiful, showing interest of knowing more about her, of knowing about her again. Talk to her, make her laugh, be sweet and nice to her, ask her things, listen to her, and invite her to hang out but not as a date. Those are the things you have to do; those are the things that girls like." She admitted.
"Yeah well, there's a problem." I replied kind of uncomfortable.
"What problem, Darren?"
"Last night I invited her to go for a coffee. She rejected my invitation and she didn't seem happy to see me; actually, she acted tough on me." I said frowning.
"You invited her? Were people around, watching you?" Jen asked curious.
"No, it was just me and her."
"Hmm..." She whispered and then she stayed silent for a while.
"That is something bad, right? I can tell when you think something isn't good. Tell me, Jen." I asked eagerly.
"Well yes, it's kind of bad. I mean, if you asked her to go out while people were around, maybe she rejected because she was shy and ashamed. But if you asked her to go out while no one was around... Well... Maybe..." Jen started replying very uncomfortable.
"I know what you try to say. She really didn't want to hang out with me, did she?" I asked cheerless.
"No, she didn't want." Jen answered roundly but kind of sad.
"Yeah, I kinda had that feeling." I answered sighing. "Anyway, I told her that I wasn't going to stop insisting until she accepts my invitation."
"You did what? Oh my god, Darren." Jen exclaimed kind of astonished.
"What? Is that also a wrong thing?"
"Darren, she needs time to set down everything that has happened. I bet it was hard for her to have seen you again, to have talked to you again. Remember why she and you aren't together anymore." Jen said pointedly.
"Because Jim is an asshole who forced me to write her that stupid note." I answered angrily.
"Exactly. But she doesn't know that Jim was the guilty; she still thinks that you really dumped her because she didn't want to have sex with you. So imagine how she may be feeling now, she surely is a big mess. You have to give her time; she needs time, she needs space. You shouldn't go too fast on her." Jen said softly.
"Yeah, I know. I just wanna see her, I wanna talk to her. Jen, I've missed her so fucking much and now she's here... I just can't stop." I said anguished now.
"I know, Darren. I know because I know how hard you tried to find her and I know how much it means to you to have seen her again." Jen said feeling pity for me.
"So what am I supposed to do now? I can't stay idly seeing how she's around here and I'm doing nothing to be with her. I simply cannot do it." I said huffing.
"So do not stay idly, but respect her. You can invite her again to go for a coffee, but if she says no again, respect her and don't feel bad. And when she says no, just smile at her and say 'Well, maybe next time'. Be nice to her even if you are feeling sad." Jen advised me.
"Yeah, I guess I can do it."
"Hey buddy, with whom are you talking?" I heard Joey asking while he was entering the room.
"Jen." I answered.
"Oh cool, send her my regards." Joey said and went to the bedroom.
"Alright, Jenny, I have to hang up. Talk to you later, okay?" I said.
"Yes, okay." Jen said and I could see a smile on her face even if I couldn't see her.
"I miss you, silly." I said.
"Miss you too, goober. Take care, okay?" Jen said and we hung up.
"Hey, Darren!" Joey yelled. "Have you seen my sneakers?"
"Yeah, I think they're under your bed." I replied and I came back to reading the script.
"Oh cool! Here they are!" Joey exclaimed excited. "Buddy, do you wanna come with us? We're going to the field to play tennis."
"Er, no... I don't feel like going out. Maybe next time." I replied listless, trying to concentrate on my script.
"What's up buddy? Are you feeling alright?" Joey asked now walking to where I was, looking at me suspiciously.
"Yeah, I'm fine." I answered listless again.
"I don't think you're fine. You've been acting weird since days." He said still looking at me suspiciously.
"Well, I'm fine. I just wanna have a good academic year." I lied.
"Oh come on, we just started college and you're already worrying about it? It's not bad to have fun sometimes." Joey insisted.
"Well, right now I don't want to play tennis." I said kind of annoyed now.
"Come on, you could use some distraction. Even your friend of high school is going, Meredith convinced her." Joey said and I looked at him abruptly and exalted.
"Is she going?" I asked eager.
"Yeah, she is going. And maybe it'd be nice if she finds you there because she may feel uncomfortable in middle of people she doesn't know yet." Joey said looking at me curiously and frowning because of the way I suddenly seemed to be interested on what he was saying; so I tried to dissimulate my excitement. "So what do you say? Are you coming?"
"Well, maybe I could go... After all, I could use some kind of distraction as you said." I said trying to sound indifferent but it was hard because I was really excited.
"Cool, buddy! Come on, get ready. We're gonna meet there in half an hour." Joey said trying to hurry me up.
I quickly stood up to change my clothes and put on a pair of blue and yellow gym shorts, a go blue t-shirt of Michigan, and a pair of sneakers. Man, I couldn't remember the last time I worn sportswear, but I was satisfied by the way I looked. I was skinnier than in high school and I was even more toned; I wasn't a Joe Walker, but I was fine. I also put on a blue headband because my hair was too bushy and shaggy. I wondered if Freckles would like to see me like this; if she ever thought I looked good now.
"Man, you gotta give me that blue headband." Joey said when he saw I was ready.
"Maybe some time." I said laughing because he wouldn't stop asking me if I could give it to him.
"I keep your word, Criss." Joey said pointing at me and I laughed, shaking my head. "Let's go."
So Joey and I left the room. I was going to see Freckles again, even if I wouldn't see her alone as I wanted, I was going to see her and that was making me feel excited. Would Freckles know that I was going? What if she didn't know? Well, I was going to respect her as Jen told me, but I was going to try to have fun with her anyway. After all, we were going only to play tennis, no big deal. And as Jen told me, I was going to try not to flirt with her; I was just going to be nice but anyway I was going to let her know that I was interested on being with her; maybe I wasn't going to let her know that I was looking for a love affair yet, but maybe just as friends for now. Geez, I was so excited and eager to see her. When we arrived, Freckles and Meredith were already there, just as Joe Walker, Lauren, Julia and Brian Holden were; so we started walking to there. The first person I saw was Freckles and since then, I couldn't take my eyes off her. She looked really well on sportswear; well, actually she looked sexy. How was that even possible?
"Hey bro, your friend is super-hot." Joey said next to me and I turned around to look at him. So it was when I realized that he was looking fixedly at Freckles.
"Yeah, she is." I answered, looking at Freckles again and trying to ignore the way Joey was looking at her.
"Did she look like this in high school?" Joey asked intrigued.
"No, she looks different now." I answered curtly.
"Do you mean that she wasn't sexy in high school?"
"No, that's not what I mean. She looks different as I remember her, but she always was sexy." I answered, remembering how she was in high school and how I loved her curves; curves that she didn't have any longer because she was way too skinny.
"How did you do it?" Joey asked apparently stunned.
"How did I do what?" I asked confused.
"How have you resisted to her? I mean; if I were you, I'd have tried my best to get her." Joey exclaimed and I looked at him frowning.
"Yeah, I don't know..." I answered uncomfortable. He still didn't know that Freckles actually was my girlfriend. No one knew yet.
"Oh bro, I love Meredith for having introduced her to me." Joey exclaimed while still looking at Freckles fixedly and I looked at him frowning and serious again. I really needed to explain Joey what she meant to me. "I think I'm going to ask her out for coffee or something." He said thoughtful and I looked at him even more serious. "Would you help me to get her, buddy? I like her." Joey asked and suddenly I felt very edgy and aghast.
"I... Well, I... Joey, I don't think she's for you..." I started stammering like an idiot, not knowing how to make him think that going out with her wasn't a viable possibility.
"Why not?" He asked curiously, finally looking at me.
"Because she's not the girl she seems to be..." I answered.
"Well, I could use the coffee as an excuse to get to know her more." He said shrugging. I didn't know what to say. "Who knows? Maybe we can end up having something; she could be the girl."
"Joey, she's not the girl." I said roundly and he looked at me astonished.
"Why do you say it?"
"Because I know her." I answered serious, now looking away. I didn't want to talk about this again.
"You said she looked different now, so maybe you don't know her anymore." Joey said and I looked at him almost severely. He just told me the same than Jen and he still didn't know who Freckles was. Damn, maybe everybody was right. "Maybe I could give it a try; you always tried to convince me to give it a try with a girl; so I'll do it."
"Yeah, but not with her, Joey!" I exclaimed exasperated and he looked at me even more astonished.
"You're acting weird, dude." Joey said stunned after looking at me in silence for a few seconds and I just sighed and looked away.
"Whatever..."
"Hey guys!" Lauren greeted loudly.
So everybody noticed we were there and greeted us kind of euphorically. Well, except Freckles who was standing behind, kind of shy. When all of them already greeted us, Freckles walked to us. She first greeted Joey with a slight hug just as Meredith said she was used to greet people now; and then I was waiting eagerly for her to hug me, the only possible way I could be close to her for now. But she didn't do it. Instead, she placed her hand on my shoulder.
"Hi." She greeted softly looking at me as Joey walked away to mock Brian who was wearing a cap in the night.
"Hi." I greeted forcing a smile. I really thought she was going to hug me; she hugged everybody but me; it felt rough. But I needed to be friendly and nice to her if I wanted her. "How are you?" I asked friendly.
"Fine, thanks. And you?" She asked just as friendly as me.
"I'm pretty well, taking a break, you know..." I replied shrugging and smiling, trying to be nice.
"Yeah, me too." She answered. "It's a nice night to take a break."
"Yeah, it is. It's very nice and warm... Yes." I said smiling like a fool.
"Yeah..." She answered nodding and smiling faintly, but looking away. I didn't know what to say anymore.
In the past, we could talk for hours about everything and neither of us would be speechless or wouldn't know what to say anymore; we always had something to talk about, even if it was about the socks we were wearing. Now we were talking about the weather and that was a terrible sign; because when you start talking to someone about the weather, it means that none of them wants really to talk or they feel uncomfortable to talk to the other. It was too tough to be acting as if we were strangers. And what was wrong with me anyway? I was never the shy guy, I was the guy who talked a lot and who was very sociable. Why was acting different with her? In any case, I should act in a more positive way with her, not like a jerk.
"So how was your day?" I asked trying to socialize more with her.
"Oh, it was pretty well." She answered with a faint smile. She wasn't answering in a chatty way and I wanted to talk to her fluently.
"Have you had a new course today?"
"Yeah, I have."
"Oh that's cool; it's always great when you have a new course. It's like you're thinking very excited and intrigued 'What would I learn now? How is this course going to be?' It's so cool the excitement you feel when you do a new thing." I said smiling brightly, trying to seem sassy.
"Yes, it's pretty cool. That's exactly how I felt." She answered curtly. Why was she being so cutting and short-spoken? Couldn't she notice that I was trying hard to strike up a friendly conversation?
"Yeah, I figure. You'll see, some of the courses are totally awesome and you'll love them so much to a point that people could call you obsessed; and some of them will be just a pain in the ass that you'll prefer to be on Mars talking to talking animals than being in that course." I said trying to sound funny to amuse her. She finally let out a snicker and I felt good, as if I've accomplished something. "So, you never told me what you're studying. May I know?"
"Oh yeah... I'm planning..." She started saying but she was interrupted.
"Hey guys, bring your ass over here! We're already choosing our partners to play!" Joe yelled and Freckles and I looked at him.
"Coming!" Freckles yelled cheerfully and ran to there, leaving me there alone with an unanswered question.
I tried to avoid thinking that she was not interested on talking to me and telling me things about her, like what she was studying. Yes, I tried to avoid feeling left out and I tried to be as sprightly as I could, I tried to be peppy as much as I could. I walked to there and I stood next to Joey and Meredith.
"Well, I'll be the first choosing..." Joe started saying but he was interrupted.
"Hey, that's not fair!" Lauren complained and Joe looked at her frowning. "I think we should use a coin or something, so it'll be random choice."
"Oh please, Lauren, leave that for another time. I want to play already." Brian said and Lauren looked at him severely; she didn't like to be contradicted. "Just choose someone, Joe."
"Okay, I'll choose the new girl! Freckles." Joe said looking at Freckles with a huge smile as I looked at him abruptly and stunned. What the hell?
"Okay!" Freckles answered with a giggle, walking to him cheerfully. "We're gonna rock this game!" She said high-fiving him.
"You got that right, girl!" Joe exclaimed looking at her amused and Freckles smiled brightly while they clasped hands and then, before releasing, rubbed their thumbs together two times in rapid succession to end up laughing out loud.
I was like 'What the fuck?' They seemed to be getting along, but since when? They didn't know each other. Why then all of a sudden they seemed to have that kind of buddies relationship? I looked at Joey suspiciously, as trying to find some kind of explanation about this, but he was looking at them just as stunned and confounded as me.
"Joey, choose someone!" Joe then exclaimed.
"Er... I will... I will choose Lauren." He said thoughtful. Surely he also wanted to choose Freckles, just as I wanted.
"Darren? Julia or Meredith?" He asked and I didn't know who to choose.
"Umm, Julia." I answered because Julia was one of my closest friends. She smiled friendly and nodded.
"Okay, Brian and Mere, you're together." Joe said. "We'll play in teams, first two teams; and for those who win have to play with another team until they're beaten and like that successively. Did you get it, ladies?" He asked and everybody nodded.
Then I saw Joe talking enthusiastically to Freckles, as he was teaching Freckles how to play and how to use the tennis racket; as they were laughing and touching slightly their hands and arms. Yeah, I couldn't avoid noticing those silly and innocent touching.
"I guess I won't have a chance with her, after all." Joey suddenly said in a whisper. He was also looking at them.
"Sorry, Joey." Meredith said also in a whisper. "Joe told me he likes her and they wouldn't stop talking and laughing joyfully since they met this morning. They even had lunch together."
"What?" I suddenly asked, abruptly, feeling aghast.
"Yes, Joe invited her for lunch and she accepted immediately. I think she likes him. Well, who doesn't like Joe? He's hot as hell." Meredith replied shrugging, also looking at them.
"How do you know it?" I asked curiously.
"Because I was there when Joe invited her and because she mentioned me that he was nice and good-looking." Meredith answered indifferent as I felt that ugly pressure on my chest again, but it was something as jealousy this time.
So she didn't want to go for a simple damn coffee with me, a person who she knew for more than two years; but she accepted going for lunch with a guy she just met in the morning. Like, what the hell? Why would she do that? Why would she hang out with my friends and she didn't want to do anything with me? Why would she try to be friends with my friends? And why would she ignore me? Why would she act with a stranger as if they were friends and act as if I was a stranger with me? I was still trying to be nice to her, but there were things I just couldn't understand, like the way she was acting. And she mentioned Meredith that Joe was nice and good-looking. Why would she tell that to Meredith if she knew that it was probable that Meredith was going to tell me so? Could she be doing this on purpose? Could she want to hurt me just as the way I hurt her unintentionally? Did she really think that Joe was like that? Could she be interested on him? Could she have forgotten me at all? I had so many questions, damn. Now I really didn't want to play any stupid game. I came here only to see Freckles and talk to her, but she seemed to be having a damn good time with Joe, clearly forgetting me as if I wasn't there, as if I didn't exist for her. Fuck, I hated this and I wasn't going to deny that I was jealous as hell to the point I was irritated and kind of mad at her, even if she hasn't done anything to me directly. What was the point of staying there if I wouldn't get to talk to her because she didn't even want it?
"You don't look like you want to be here." Julia said sitting next to me on a bench.
"Yeah, that is because I should be reading a script for tomorrow." I lied.
Joey and Lauren' team was playing with Joe and Freckles' team right now; and I was observing them. No, actually I was only watching how Freckles was playing and laughing, as if she was very entertained. I was seeing how Freckles and Joe were so close, how they celebrated each victory with a high-five or a hug or shaking hands. I was seeing how Freckles was being really happy. Maybe she was happier without me and I was just a bothersome. Man, I needed Jen and her wise words right now, I needed an advice of what I should do; if I should try to get her or if I should let her go her own way to be happy. Everything was less complicated when we were together or even when we were apart; but this thing of being around but not knowing what we exactly were, that was complicated. Still, I preferred to have that complication than not having her at all. I wasn't in a good mood and that was weird, so that was why Julia was now looking at me suspiciously.
"It's not because you should be reading that script, is it?" She asked looking at me and then looking at Freckles. I always thought that Julia and Jen weren't so different in some aspects. And this thing of noticing what was on my mind was one of the things they had in common.
"No, it's not." I finally answered sighing, telling the truth; because I knew she was going to react as Jen in this situation if I dared to lie.
"So why is it then?" Julia asked softly, looking deeply into my eyes.
"I really don't wanna talk about it." I answered politely, looking at Freckles again who was now being tickled by Joe. I was feeling very impotent.
"You also like her, don't you?" She asked and I looked at her frowning. Should I answer her?
"Yeah..." I whispered.
"I thought so. It seems that everyone likes her, maybe is the cheerfulness, gentleness and beauty she radiates." Julia said looking at her while Freckles was laughing. Yes, she definitely could radiate that, she was wonderful. "And is for that you don't wanna be here?"
"Why wouldn't I want to be in the same place than she is, if she radiates all of that? Who wouldn't want to be in her presence?" I asked in a whisper and sighing, not realizing that Julia heard me. She was looking deeply into my eyes in silence and when I noticed she was doing this, I started feeling a bit uncomfortable.
"She wasn't only your peer in high school, was she?" She asked softly.
I looked at her aghast as my heart skipped a beat and I started feeling nervous. Why the hell was she asking that? Could she have noticed something? She was looking at me in the same way, as if she was trying to find the answer in my eyes; so I quickly looked away because I didn't want to answer. But my sight focused on Freckles who was hugging Joe and I felt jealous again, so I couldn't take my eyes off her.
"No, she wasn't." I answered without even noticing I was answered.
I only answered because I was feeling jealous and I didn't like to see Freckles so close to Joe. Joe was my friend and he was one of my best friends and it wasn't that I didn't like to see Joe and Freckles getting along; but in this circumstance, it didn't seem right. Not because I didn't like to see them laughing or hugging, because I was used to do it with my female friends too; but because of the fact that Freckles didn't look at me in any moment, she didn't know I was looking at her, she didn't know that I wanted her, that I still loved her; she didn't know and she didn't care. That was what I didn't like.
"Who was she?" Julia asked now intrigued.
"My girlfriend." I answered now looking down.
"Your girlfriend? Oh gosh." Julia exclaimed surprised and stunned. "Does anybody know about it?"
"No. And please, don't tell anybody, I shouldn't have told you it." I whispered looking fixedly at her.
"You can trust me, Darren. But why don't you want anybody to know?" She asked intrigued.
"Because no; just because I don't want and because she doesn't want either. It is fine this way." I replied, still looking down. "We're just strangers who went at the same high school." I exclaimed bitterly and she noticed this.
"And you're still in love with her." She said as a statement, but also kind of wondering.
"Doesn't matter, it's pointless." I answered monotonous. "I think I'll come back to my room, I really need to read that script. Sorry." I said and then I stood up; but Julia stopped me.
"If you're still in love with her, I think you should stay." She said looking at me fixedly.
"And what would be the point of staying here? She doesn't even care if I stay or not. She doesn't care of anything about me. And I really don't wanna stay while she epically ignores me and while she fools around and has fun with everybody but me. I can't bear that." I exclaimed bitterly and a bit harsh, so then I sighed and softened my voice. "It's a long story, Julia."
"Do you wanna go for a walk? Maybe you could tell me and let out all that you're feeling. And besides, I don't feel like playing tennis either." She said shrugging.
I hesitated for a while. Maybe it could be good if I tell someone everything, because Jen wasn't going to be able to guide me always, because she also had her own complications. And Julia was so much like Jen, maybe she could be my Jen in college. I nodded and then we started walking away from there. Of course, no one noticed; not that I was expecting that, because everybody was having fun. So I dared and I told her it all; and she listened to me all the time in a very compressive way. She didn't say much, but she listened and that was what I needed.
"I can't tell you what to do, Darren; that is something only you have to decide. I can't tell you what the best for you is, because only you know what that is. It's funny, because we never know what to do when something happens or when we have to choose; but inside, within our hearts, we're always hoping for one particular option. Just do that you're wishing to do." Julia said kindly.
"And what if what I want to do is to hold her in my arms and kiss her? What if what I want to do is to tell her that I love her and never stopped loving her?" I asked kind of distressed and Julia remained silent. "I can't do it, even if I want. Because there's a line between what I want and what is correct, and that dividing line is when my freedom ends and begins the respect for her."
"Well, you're right about that and I agree. If you can't do it, then try to get to it. Try to get to the point in which that dividing line disappears because you both want the same."
"It's not that easy."
"Of course it's not easy. But it either wasn't easy when you admitted your real feelings for her the very first time; but you finally did and then you became a couple." She said smiling slightly and looking deeply at me. She had a point. "Surely you'd want to come back and show her this place before everybody returns to their respective rooms." She said smiling mysteriously.
"Why would I do that?" I asked confused.
"Oh well, look at the sky. It's wonderful and so starry. You told me she loves nights like this." She said smiling amused and I chuckled softly.
"Yeah, maybe it could be a good idea."
"So what are we waiting for? Let's go for her." Julia exclaimed encouragingly.
And so we walked our way back to where everybody was playing and having fun. Now, I had a renewed positivism; thanks to Julia. At the end, it was good to have told her this, because now I was going to have a female perspective about things and she could advise me what to do with Freckles; and also because I felt more free now. She supported me and maybe that was what I needed all this time; someone to support my decisions, someone to tell me that I was doing the right thing and that I wasn't going to do a stupid nonsense thing. Hell yeah, I could do this with Freckles. I only had to be myself, as the guy I was now. When we arrived, no one was playing anymore. They were sitting on the grass, just talking. And Freckles was sitting right next to Joe, but not so close, to my relief.
"And who has won?" I asked cheerfully while still walking to there.
"Who do you think who could have won?" Brian said frowning. He didn't like to lose and he was kind of moody, so surely he wasn't the one who won.
"I don't know." I replied shrugging, still walking next to Julia.
"Oh wait, wait! Darren doesn't know! How weird is that?" Lauren exclaimed ironically and amused and I laughed. They always joked about that whenever, that was too often, I answered I don't know. "Someone tell him who won."
"Joe and Freckles won, duh." Joey said.
"Oh, congratulations guys." I said friendly looking at Joe and then at Freckles; so that my sight focused on her.
"Thanks, bro. It was pretty hard, but we got it. Yeah!" Joe exclaimed excited. Freckles only smiled slightly.
"Yeah, you won because you cheated!" Brian exclaimed loudly, looking at them.
"We did not!" Freckles exclaimed quickly with a giggle.
"You said you couldn't play tennis, so then Joe chose you because he can do it pretty well; but it turns out that you were the best at playing it. That's sort of cheating, I guess." Meredith said shrugging and quiet.
"I really can't play tennis. It was just beginner's luck." Freckles said shrugging with her adorable smile.
"Beginner's luck my ass." Brian exclaimed. "I'll let it pass only because you're the new here... But you, Joe Skywalker... You are not safe..."
"Whoa, chill out, guys!" I said laughing because I knew this was the way they were used to joke, but Freckles still didn't know it and maybe she could be thinking that they were really mad.
"Chilling out is boring. I challenge you to a duel, instead." Freckles said mischievously looking at Brian and I looked at her stunned as everybody did.
"Hey, I like you. Hey Darren, you never told us that she's like us! That's so cool!" Brian exclaimed loudly looking at Freckles and then looking at me. Well, I didn't know it, that's why I never said it.
"Darren doesn't know me pretty well." Freckles answered shrugging.
Jeez, her words really hurt me. Did she really have to say it? Julia, next to me, looked at me surreptitiously and then she looked down. She wanted to play like this? Well, I was going to play like that, then. I wouldn't feel bad again; instead, I was going to take this as a joke or game.
"Oh yeah? I think I know you pretty well. I challenge you to prove me wrong." I said also smiling mischievously, looking at her fixedly. She wasn't expecting this answer because she was now looking at me with eyes wide open.
"I accept the challenge." She said defiant, raising an eyebrow as everybody was looking at us amused and expectant to see this. "What's my favorite color?"
"Blue."
"Yes. My favorite food?"
"Lasagna."
"Yes. My favorite place in the world?"
"You don't have a specific place in the world; you just love being in places where you feel happy, regardless if it could be in a very paradisiac and exotic place or if it could be in a dirty lonely alleyway. You don't care about it; you give more weight to the important things in life."
"Yeah... And what are for me the important things in life?"
"Love, friendship, family, happiness, humility, solidarity and knowledge."
"Okay, yes, quite certain. What is my motto life?"
"Don't do unto others what you don't want them to do to you. That or you'll surely quote Disney by saying 'If you can dream it, you can do it.' Those are only two of the many you have."
"Yes, accurate. What's my favorite movie?"
"A Clockwork Orange."
"Why?" She asked very defiant. I knew she was getting a bit annoyed because I was answering it all. The truth was that I knew her more than she thought.
"Because it features disturbing, violent images, facilitating its social commentary on psychiatry, youth gangs, and other social, political, and economic subjects in a dystopian, future Britain and because it includes classical music such as Beethoven, who you admire. And most importantly, because the film's central moral question is the definition of 'goodness' and whether it makes sense to use aversion therapy to stop immoral behavior; considering the use of aversion therapy as the new weapon for a totalitarian government to use to impose vast controls on its citizens and turn them into little more than robots. I'm just quoting your words right now." I answered with an amused smile, looking fixedly at her as she was looking at me serious and everybody was looking at me puzzled and agape; because for them, Freckles was only my fellow in high school.
"You answered it perfectly." Freckles said looking at me piercingly into my eyes and serious. She was now feeling really annoyed because of the way she couldn't prove me wrong. So then she raised an eyebrow and looked at me coldly and defiant. "Who was my first?"
When she asked that I looked deeply into her eyes, expressionless; I didn't want to show her that her last question was heartbreaking to me, that it actually hurt my feelings. She did not need to ask a question like that and less in front of many of my friends. It was just a sort of game what we were playing and she turned it into a hurtful thing. Because I knew she was aware that the question was provocative and its only point was to make me feel bad. I couldn't believe she did something like that; she was not that kind of person who really meant to hurt somebody, and she just did. Maybe she was right, maybe I didn't know her pretty well. Crazy how someone can change in a matter of a year.
"I don't know." I answered darkly. "Congrats, you got what you wanted, you proved me wrong." I said coldly and she looked away, serious. Everybody else looked at us confused.
"Oh, wow. Just wow." Meredith exclaimed surprised.
"Are you fucking kidding? You answered everything except the last question, man." Joey exclaimed stunned, looking at us with eyes wide open. "You guys told us that you were only acquaintances in high school."
"Acquaintances my ass!" Joe exclaimed also stunned. "You guys seem to know each other pretty well."
"Yeah, that's right. And the way you answered everything so quickly and so correctly, as if you Darren knew her like the back of your hand." Lauren said, also surprised.
"Why do you, Darren, know everything about her?" Brian asked curiously.
While they all were opining about us, me and Freckles were only staring each other very deeply into each other's eyes. This was our strongest eye contact since I saw her again. But it wasn't a great eye contact as the ones we used to have in high school, when everything between us was love. Oh no, this was different. I was looking at her coldly and she was looking at me defiant. It was something very different than love.
"Darren doesn't know everything about me. He only knows what I used to be." Freckles said harshly, looking at me fixedly.
"That is right. I don't know you anymore. Sometimes you have to know someone really well to realize you were actually strangers." I said looking at her as she finally looked away. Now everybody was looking at us very bewildered. I only sighed. "It's late and I should be reading a script for tomorrow; so I'll see you around guys."
And like that, I walked away from them; I walked away from Freckles, that girl that I used to know. Now I finally understood that I didn't know her; now I finally understood why she treated me like a stranger: because we were indeed two strangers who accidentally met. She was nothing as the girl I knew. Or at least, she wasn't this cruel when I used to know her. But, even if I was aware that she wasn't the same girl with whom I fell so deeply in love; I felt a huge anguish on my chest when I finally walked away from her knowing that from this day on I was going to forget her.