Chapter 5: Trying to be a tough dad

Chapter 5:

"Oh no Draco, no!" said Lucius to him. The boy was six months of age and was kicking about on his blanket.

The amount he had grown since he had been born his father thought was mad. He seemed to have doubled inside. And his father seemed to notice some thing new about him every day of the week. Whatever it was though, it was a little sign hat the boy was healthy and he was growing into a healthy strong boy. His mother had not died in vain for him.

"Well sir if you are going to insist on leaving important papers and drinks at his feet he is not going to distinguish between the two. It is your fault!" The water, which had previously been standing erect two foot away from the documents Lucius was working on by his sons side, had feel victim to Draco's foot. Knocking the water over, it had run straight towards Lucius's work.

"Yes, thank you for that, Eliza." said Lucius irritably. He may look to her as a mother but it didn't mean she had to act like one all the time he thought to himself.

It was a Thursday and he had taken a day off, though he was working at home. There was no reason why his work wasn't going to be done just as well there as it would be in the office only by twelve he realized his been wrong: the reason was his son.

had had a cold of late and he hadn't really wanted to be there. He had wanted to be at home with his boy. His sniffle had made Draco clinging, which was not unlike him, but it was noticeably more so. He had whinged when his father put him down for a minute and where he had before been sleeping through the night in his own crib; he had cried so incessantly his father had given in and let him come in to bed with him.

Removing the glasses that he had had to get three weeks ago, (making him feel even older) he picked the boy up. Narcissa would laugh at him if she had known he needed glasses. He could practically hear her laughing.

Leaning his son up against his knees he looked at him. Lately he had been beginning to show his own personality. He was going to be a stubborn boy his father had already concluded. And he was going to be spoilt but that was his fault more than it was Draco's, if he was going to go running when ever the boy cried. He wondered if his wife would have done the same thing. He was sure she would have and that she would approve of the way he was raising him so far. Besides wherever she was he was positive she understood his reasons for it. He was terrified something might go wrong even now. At nights when he had checked on him at times it seemed Draco was breathing. He had been but for a split second…nothing scared Lucius except the thought of losing Draco now. Nothing!

"What is up with you today boy?" he asked him with affection in his voice. Listen to him calling him 'boy' when he had told Bella not too.

"I think it is more what is up with you master Lucius."

"Once again thank you for that kindly comment Eliza." he said as he turned back to his son. "What is that old bat on about? he said to him quietly

He didn't mean it though. If it hadn't been for her then he wouldn't have got this far since his wife's death. It seemed quite a long time ago since he had lost her now even though he knew it wasn't a year gone. So much had gone on since then between home and the Dark Lord. He had given him elf no time to dwell on her death. He had had too much going on. He wondered if that was wrong. Part of him said yes it was, he was a terrible person who should be crying all day everyday and should have rejected his son. But the rationale in him told him he had done the right thing when he had embraced father hood and life with out his wife. He had to make his own path now.

Draco looked at his father with his curious little eyes; they seemed to get more curious by the day. He was seeing new sights, feeling new textures and he was beginning to take it all in as well.

He his life ahead of him.

"Do you think it might be time to go and get some fresh air?" he asked. "I do." he said to his son. They had been in all day and he remembered Narcissa telling him when she had been planning for there Childs routine that being inside all day for babies wasn't good. He didn't think it was good for anyone, he had said to her. He could figure that one out for himself. And yet he was glad she had given him all these useless bits of advice when she had been pregnant, because it soothed his grief. She was always in his mind, as oppose to on it. She was there with him still. And he remembered her in every thing he and their son did. So some days he could fool himself she was still there. And it was then he found comfort.

It was later September. A cold day had come to the manor and so before the two of them went out he was sure to wrap his son up.

He wasn't so bothered about himself. He had rather always preferred being cold than warm.

"Come on then Prince." he said to him. He had rather taken to calling his son that. He had never thought he would give his son a nick name. He had always known Narcissa would give him one. But he didn't think he would some how. But when he had started calling him prince as if his boy was royalty it had been rather natural to him. It was true: his son was his little prince.

Walking in to the gardens which his wife had taken much pride in, he could not help but hope his son would look enjoy gardening. He wondered what sort of interests he was going to have when he was older. If he was going to be more like his father or his mother. He knew the chances where that as he was the one raising him and bringing him up he was going to be more like him but he hoped he was a little like his mother. She was far gentler than he.

She had been an avid reader too. He wondered if he was going to enjoy that. Lucius when he had been young had read a few books, but nothing as ferociously as his wife had. She could be found with a book in her hand whenever she had had a spare moment. When they had been married had not been very often as she never seemed to have a free minute. She had been the cream of their society. And she had loved nothing more than to hold a dinner party over a weekend. Everyone had been honoured when they had got an invite from her. He had loved coming home to find her in her gown, looking stunning as she as always did. She had been the perfect hostess. She had been kind and had a calming influence on every once who attended. She had been so graceful in everything she had said and done.

Had he appreciated her? He wasn't sure any more. He had always tried too. He remembered to tell her she was beautiful. He had held her. He had listened to her when she had wanted to tell him the newest gossip. They had indulged on weekends away even after they had been married to Paris, Berlin, Venice… but had it been enough? But at times when he had been out doing the Dark Lords bidding. He had known he was scaring her and he had carried on regardless. He wondered if he was doing the same to his son.

What ever came now though he could not change the fact she was dead.

-

Lucius left his son with Eliza. He had to get out of the house for a while by himself. He needed five minutes to get his head together.

Heading down to the grave yard with a bunch of flowers in his hands he headed to Narcissa. He had started going to her once or twice a week at least though he ended up going generally at least three or four time.

At first he had found it awkward speaking to her tomb stone, but now he did it naturally. Mostly, he told her of their son but he had told her about Bella and Rod to and of course he complained about work to her as he had done when she had been with him.

Also, it was the only time he realised that he ever feel on his knees. He had to clear her grave of the weeds. But even when that job was done he didn't get up. He just stayed there talking to her.

His goddess.

And that day was no different.

"He got a cold. I'm not sure where he pick it up put me and Eliza are getting him through it. Eliza thinks he just needs a few extra hugs to get him better. I think so too. Any way, he'll be ok. Don't worry about him angel. He'll be fine."

He looked at her picture on the tomb stone and read the inscription.

Narcissa Black Malfoy

Beloved wife of Lucius

Beloved Mother of Draco

1955 – 1981

Love defies Death