Teenage Dream

by Lucy Samb

You/ Darren Criss fanfic. The story is about your life with Darren in high school, college and professional life among friendship,love,fights,comings and goings and how you both go through serious stuff such as bullying,suicide,discrimination and life itself. It starts when you meet Darren, a guy of your school in St. Ignatius College Preparatory who never noticed you, a loser.

36. A fresh start

A/N: Hello guys, girls, dinosaurs, Death Eaters, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, muggles, hobbits, unicorns and inanimate objects! How are you all doing? I'm sick. I'm literally sick because I caught a terrible cold that is a real pain in the ass. So, I'm taking some pills to get better, and like Blaine, I suck at those things because they make me sleepy. Hopefully a stalker Tina won't appear in my bedroom to vapor-rape me. Anyways! I'll stop with my silly comments. I'm going straight to answer the reviews!

Monique: Monique! That's right; it's been a while since you reviewed! I'm glad that you made it to keep reading the chapters! Have you really read all of them in only one day? Whoa! That's impressive! Muahaha! This is an important chapter, maybe. You'll surely know what will happen between Darren and Freckles! You may or may not like it! It's only about your point of view! I think is really time for them to have 'the talk' and it's time for Darren to explain Freckles that Jim was the asshole. But, will Darren do it? Will they come back together? Okay, drama queen, we are two drama queens so that's cool! I'm just encouraging you to keep being the drama queen! haha. Alright, I just hope you can enjoy this chapter!

zahra auob: I know! I think that both, Freckles and Darren will still hurt each other until they get to talk for once and all! Honestly, if someone sings me the song that Freckles sang after confessing my feelings, I'd be broken... Like why? Why would that person give that as response? It'd be sad, I don't know. Will Freckles be fine? What could be happing to her that she screamed? Oh, you'll find it out! I really hope you like this new chapter!

Vcriss: Yes, it was a cliffhanger, which is weird because in this second part there aren't so many cliffhangers. So enjoy the cliffhangers (or not) as much as you can because you won't get so many! I'm really happy to know that you think that the story is turning to be a good one! Yes, when you mentioned about the audition, I thought about it; about why Darren would audition for a gay character and what Freckles would think about this. It's interesting indeed. And why don't you like the idea of him kissing guys? Is that because Darren is straight and now everybody sees him as a gay guy, not being able to distinguish what is a character and what is the real person? I don't know, I'm curious! You don't to answer if you don't want, though.

caarolineboeira1: Aww! I also love that thing that they always need songs to express their feelings! I think that's like their thing. Every couple has their thing, and their thing is this, songs, express feelings with songs. I don't know, I like it. I really enjoyed writing them holding hands. Actually, at first, I didn't write it but then I said... Screw it! I will write about them holding hands and everything goes to hell! haha. Oh geez! You're right about that thing that Freckles will kill Darren by changing her clothes in front of him, that's so cruel from her! I imagine how hard it was for Darren to look away! Oh, about Freckles changing her attitude around Darren, well, you'll find it out. I think it's in this chapter, but I don't remember so well, so if it's not in this chapter, it's in the next one! But maybe it'll clear up your mind! I don't know if Brian and Meredith will get together, but I have a story for Brian already planned, only in my mind for now. And now you'll find out what happened to Freckles in the forest! Maybe there's a killer in the forest and Darren saves her life, or not... You'll see, probably I'm just joking. Most probably.

alicegursk: Alice! Close your eyes; now open them to read this. Okay, open them. How will I let you know to open your eyes if I told you first to close them? Ah! Forget it. Just take a deep breath, and start dancing the dance of victory because if you're reading this is because you survived and you're able to read the new chapter! That's good to know that you're alive! You are, aren't you? I really don't think I'll write a book, I'll stick here with FanFiction where I can talk to people about what they think and exchange thoughts and shit! Besides if I write a book, I'll offend all the writers around the world! haha. Yet, I found it really cute and it really made smile like damn fool when I read 'proud mama tears' and when you mentioned I'm writing this perfection that actually is pure bullshit of drama and drama and... drama. Oh, also love and friendship, and fluff and... drama. Yes! I also laughed and cried like an idiot, I was alone, watching it, drinking a coffee and just... enjoying that perfection that was AVPSY! Gosh, it's beautiful! I'll also love you until my dying day, come what may, come what may my dear wife!

amritsoomal: I know, it was my fault that I didn't update at the usual hour! Blame it on AVPSY! But at least you got to read it in bed (I love reading in bed, is like the most awesome thing to do for me). Yes, I know it was sad, but it's because the two of them are still really confused because they need to talk! You'll see that things will get better, promise! And yes, I love that they expressed their feeling through songs because I already think that's like their thing, like think something about Freckles and Darren... Songs! It's so creepy the fact you mentioned the wolf because... Do you read my mind? Do you have a copy of all I wrote? When you get to read this, you'll know what I'm talking about! Maybe I'm too predictable! haha. Maybe Joe will go eat fish so he'll have a fishy smell and breath, then he won't look so hot. Don't hate Joe! You'll see you won't have reasons to hate him, promise. This time you won't get a cliffhanger, so you can feel relieved. This is may or may not be a happy ending, it only depends on your point of view! You'll see!

nicole: Ohhhh! That is a tough question! Yes, it is! But a promise is a promise and an award is an award and I'll keep my promise. So, the answer for your question is: Jim is not what he seems to be. He has a big trouble... He's sick, like literally sick and he has a mental disorder, maybe it's more like a trauma. In a part of this second part I'll explain why he had this trauma and how serious it was, you'll get a bit information about his past. So, summing up, Jim is a psychopath in certain way and he had a problem (related to his past) that is that he cannot stand seeing two people like Darren and Freckles together. But he wasn't in love with Freckles. I hope I could answer to your question somehow! I loved Blaine and Sue's feud! And I loved that it all was part of Blaine's plan to bring her down! And yes! I completely loved AVPSY! It was very emotional! Like, I laughed like never before, and all the characters that appeared again, and all the jokes and twists, and at the end! I broke when Harry said "Take it easy, Hogwarts. It's been totally awesome'. And his voice cracked and I was already in tears. I must admit that I'll miss it. I really loved them.

Kaylacriss332: hahaha! Oh my god! Can you believe it? I thought exactly the same when I wrote that Joe was charismatic, automatically the image of Ron saying 'He's so charismatic' about Zefron popped in my mind and I laughed like an idiot for a while. I could have never imagined that someone else could think the same thing. Aww, Bonnie! I missed her in AVPSY, but I liked Meredith too! She did a good job! Well, don't worry about the cliffhangers, because in this chapter you won't get one!

AnSofiekeeeh: Yes, sometimes my cliffhangers tend to be super annoying! haha. I know it; I admit it, because when I read a book or a fic that has a cliffhanger I just hate it because I always want to read the next chapter asap! So I'm like this stupid girl cursing a book or the screen of my computer, like a psycho, knowing that it won't answer me and it won't make the chapter come faster; but I have to try, therefore I'll keep acting like an insane person. Okay, I don't want to freak you out, sometimes I'm a sane person. How do I come up with so much text? Well, I think I'm a chatty girl that cannot shut up and just writes everything that pops in her mind, hence the so often non-sense answers! Oh yes! I like to write long chapters, because I always think that the chapters are short! I used to write longer chapters, with my story Chain Letters, but then I realized that writing very long chapters involved more waiting time for the readers to read the next chapter and that wasn't so nice. Now you'll know what's going to happen and this time you won't have to worry about the damn cliffhanger, because there's not a cliffhanger! I hope you like this chapter An Sofie!

Mockingjay-Potterhead-9: How can I update weekly? I have it already written. Currently writing chapter 51. Yes, otherwise, I'd never be able to update weekly because... picture this: I'm currently doing my final thesis at college and I'm studying architecture that gives you no time to breathe. So, I knew I wouldn't have time to write so much, so I had to write it all when I had free time. Still, I think it'll come a point that, sadly, you won't get a weekly update. Hope it doesn't happen, though. Oh, I remember my senior year! It was crazy, so I get what you tried to say about the stress. This sucks! Of course I loved AVPSY! Like, I was like you, I couldn't stop watching it again and over again; it was just so good, and it made me feel a bunch of different feelings and I'll just miss it! Don't worry if you don't come up with something next time, we can always talk about what kind of dragon you prefer! Just, you can talk to me about everything you want, because I tend to be random and rambling, just like I recently did, I think.

vicky: I completely loved AVPSY! Like really! I didn't stop laughing a single moment, and when I wasn't laughing I was crying or I was thinking that something was very cute, especially the things Ron said! I suffered a lot Scarfy's death and I think I'll never get over it. I laughed about everything and I really loved a lot of things, like, for example, when Hagrid starts bouncing Harry on his lap and Darren couldn't keep the character, it was great. I broke when Harry said 'take it easy, Hogwarts, it's been totally awesome' and his voice cracked, like he was saying goodbye to all of this part of his stage of his life with the Team Starkid (which I hope it never happens and I wish he could join other musicals). I cried the Quirrelmort scene and what they said 'Okay is beautiful' and also that 'You know, Harry Potter helped me once. He taught me something. He taught me that it's alright to let go. Of things that hurt us.' and also 'Harry Potter taught me how to love. And I guess that's what Harry Potter's all about'. Like hell yeah, it was so accurate! And I laughed when Darren made a complete mess with his tie, like fuck the tie! Just so many things, so many emotions. It was totally awesome. Now the chapter...They expressed their feelings but they still don't know each version of what happened that night and what happened after it. They'll talk, in this chapter. Darren's friends aren't still so sure about what happened, so some of them will be curious. And well, something happens to Freckles in the forest, it's a bad but good thing. Complicated, huh? You'll maybe get what I tried to say when you read it. And... Maybe Freckles is still in love with him, or maybe she's confused because she was deep in love with him and then she thinks Darren dumped her and now she sees him again and she tries to convince herself that she can be nice around him and that she doesn't feel anything for him, but maybe it's only what she tries to convince herself but not what she feels.

Guest: The damn stupid cliffhanger! Yes! But hey, to make up for it, in this chapter you won't get a cliffhanger. Is that a good thing? Actually, you won't get so many cliffhangers in the next chapters. I don't know what was happening to me, but I wrote a bunch of chapters that I didn't feel like ending with a cliffhanger, so maybe that will make you feel happy! And maybe with this chapter you'll feel happy and I'll really make up for the bad moment I made you go through thanks to the stupid cliffhanger!

SamHolmesCollins or NamelessHolmesC: Dear diary (Journal!) I'm not sure what name I should use, I feel confused! I loved Darren, and I loved all the times he broke the character; but I honestly loved more Joey. Mostly Joey; Joey is perfection; Joey is the master of the comedy; I love Joey. And Lauren! Lauren is a fucking genius and her Draco is amazing, is hilarious, is cute, is everything! Then of course Joe W (hell yeah!). And gosh, Joe Moses, I just love Snape, I don't know why, his Snape is like one of the best things that happened to me. I completely loved Brian as Hagrid and especially the scene in which he bounces Darren on his lap, I felt exactly the same than you. I loved Jaime as Ginny in this musical more than the others. I missed Bonnie, but I do think Meredith has done a really good job and I loved her; I just love Meredith for some reason, she is always smiley and she's so nice and funny. I just loved absolutely everything about the show and it was really sad to see it ending. And my heart is still suffering because of Scarfy's death; I know I'll never get over it. Yes, I agree with the cheating thing about Blaine. Yes, I didn't like that they broke up because of cheating and I didn't like when Blaine got mad when Kurt was just texting a guy and then he cheated on Kurt for real. I agree that it was terrible. But well, what can I say? We, human beings, are complicated. Speaking for myself and the situations I've experienced or the things I've seen and listened about my friends' experiences; I can say that we all make mistakes, some worse than others; but it's in the human nature to make mistakes and sometimes we don't even mean to do it, sometimes we don't realize them; and after all, we learn from mistakes, it might sound cliché, but it's like that. The way we learn things for real is when we make a mistake. If you do a mistake, it's fine because most of the time it isn't intentional; now if you do that mistake twice it's because there's something wrong and you had intentions to do it. I'm not saying that what Blaine did isn't wrong, because it's really wrong and it hurts, he hurt Kurt and I understand that Kurt couldn't forgive him. Cheating on someone is really awful because somehow it makes you feel that the person really doesn't care about you and it makes you feel devastated, it makes you feel like you're not worthwhile at some point. But I do think that everybody deserves second chances, even if it's hard, even if it's gonna take a long time to build up your trusting on the other person again, even if you're gonna have to work really hard to make things work; but everybody needs to forgive and be forgiven, if they are really repentant and want to make up for their mistakes. Sometimes we're so stupid that we need to feel how we're losing someone or something to really appreciate them and realize how important they're for us. Anyway, I won't keep boring you with my point of views, I must be irritating! So sorry! Oh, about the advices, I use to write letters to show them my point of views or to express my feelings; yes, it's very silly but it's honestly the only way I can do it; I don't even know why. Yes, look for me on fb, Lucy Samb! I'll be waiting your friend request! Yes, they didn't mention RedVines, why? Why? So bad, so bad! Now, I think you'll be bored of reading this, so, I'll say goodbye for now, it's been totally awesome my dear Sherlock! I love you like the Sorty loves Scarfy! Your Moriarty.

MeMi83: The line between the basilisk and Draco was amazing, I laughed so hard! I loved so many things about avpsy that's impossible to mention them all! Like, for example, 'I'm a snaaaaakeeeeeeee. Where'd my arms and legs go? Just kidding I'm a snaaaaaakkkkeeeeeeee.' I don't know, I laughed a lot with that one. And of course I also cried because it was very moving! Like I can't believe it's done! They're the best musicals ever! I just love them so much! Now, about the chapter! Yes, I had to make some kind of twist because everything was going so smooth and so calm. Now in this chapter everything is different and I let myself to write something sweeter and there's not a cliffhanger! So I really hope you can enjoy it! I honestly liked writing it. I wish you a delayed week of leprechauns and pots of gold! And also I wish you a week full of fairy, little cute bears, honey and shooting stars, so make a wish!

TeamBrian: Aww, it makes me feel really happy to know that my answer made you smile! Yes, it's true, you didn't get Brian! And unfortunately you won't get Brian in some chapters, but trust me when I say that the waiting is gonna be worthwhile! There's a lot about Brian, I wrote a lot about Brian, so don't worry, Rachel! I'd totally love to give you advices with your fanfiction and you have no idea how good it made me feel when you mentioned that somehow I inspired you to write your own fanfiction! Of course you can count on me with this! I never thought someone could ask me an advice! I just feel really good! Yes, I am following you on Twitter, Rachel Murcia, right? Yes, I remember that once you reviewed a chapter and after a while you started following me on Twitter and I remember I thought 'oh yes, I remember you!' So I followed you back! Umm, I don't know if Sunny and Brian will ever be together, but for sure they have a story together, a very interesting one and... well, I wrote something and for a moment I just wanted to just start writing about them. They'll get a very interesting story, I think. After all, I'm in love with Brian, so you'll get interesting things about him and ahhh! I just fell in love with a character that I invented! Am I crazy? About 1D, to be completely honest, I don't know, I can't opine because the truth is that I haven't listened to them! I'm like one of those old-fashioned girls who listen to old bands and music! My dad's influence I guess!

Okay guys, that's all. I always see all that I write when I answer your reviews and sometimes I feel like I need to stop talking too much; I surely am a pain in the ass! Geez. If it ever annoys you, just let me know, okay? I'll try to control myself. Now, I really hope you all can enjoy this chapter. I consider this is a cue chapter, but I don't know. Well, now I'll say goodbye and until next week! Have a totally super awesome week full of strawberries covered with chocolate! Yummy!

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Teenage Dream – Chapter 36 – A fresh start.

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"Freckles! Freckles, where are you?" I yelled walking inside the forest right to where Freckles walked, lighting the way with my flashlight.

"Freckles!" I heard my friends also yelling, who went separate ways to find her faster.

I heard another yell from her, she couldn't be so far and that scream was terrifying. I ran as fast as I could to the direction I heard the scream. I stumbled several times with the branches on the ground, but I didn't have time to check if I bruised myself or not, I needed to find Freckles.

"Freckles, tell me where you are!" I yelled desperate, lighting everywhere. She wasn't there.

"Darren!" I heard a terrified scream from Freckles.

"Freckles! Tell me, please, tell me where you are! Tell me!" I yelled even more desperate, not knowing where to go.

The echo in the forest was such that wasn't letting me know from where her scream was coming; so the echo was deceiving. What the hell could be happening to her that she was screaming in that way?

"Darren, please help me! Help me!" She screamed again, even more terrified and I was very edgy now.

"Please, tell me where you are!" I yelled again very desperate.

I didn't know how I could find her or what I could tell her to do to let me know where she was. I was getting very inside the forest and I was already lost; I didn't know where I was going, but I was running. Being this inside the forest wasn't so safe and I arrived to a place when it was being difficult to walk. I was walking through multi-layered canopies and numerous fallen trees; the branches and the foliage of separate trees interlocked, so it was really, really hard to walk there. I've never been in this part of the forest before and it was kind of scary; but it was even more scary the fact I couldn't find Freckles and the fact that I couldn't hear anymore the yells from my friends. It only meant that I was truly away from them and that I was lost, and maybe Freckles wasn't near where I was.

"Help me, Darren!" I heard Freckles' scream again.

"Freckles!" I screamed my lungs out.

"Darren, I'm here, I'm here!" She yelled even more terrified. She was close, I knew it, her scream was clearer. "I can see the light of your flashlight, Darren! I'm here!" She yelled and my heart started beating faster.

She could see the light, it meant I was really close, but I couldn't see the light of her flashlight. I ran directly to where I thought the scream came from and suddenly I lighted the way and I found her. She was lying on the ground, apparently she was tangled in some branches and she couldn't move.

"Freckles!" I yelled and I ran to her.

"Darren, slow down! Watch out, watch out!" She screamed terrified and I stood abruptly, also terrified.

A gray wolf was right in front of her, watching her fixedly. Oh damn shit! Oh fuck, I didn't have anything at all for protection; I only had this stupid flashlight. I needed to take Freckles away from there. I really needed to scare away that wolf. But how? I had no fucking idea, I've never been in a situation like this; I've never seen a wolf and I had no idea how I should act. Maybe if I tried to scare away the wolf, it was going to attack us; maybe the best was to stay steady and quiet. I slowly walked to Freckles, trying not to make a loud noise and trying to be cautious. I was scared like hell, yes; but I wasn't going to leave Freckles there alone. So I finally reached her and I kneeled right behind her. I softly placed my hands on her shoulders. She was trembling and she was also sweating in cold, surely because of the fear she was feeling. I placed my cheek against her cheek; her cheek was wet, surely she had been crying.

"Do not move." I whispered trying to reassure her. "Do not make any sudden movements."

"Darren, I'm scared." She whispered with trembling voice.

"Don't be, nothing bad is gonna happen if we don't move. I'm right here, okay?" I whispered reassuringly, squeezing her shoulders and kissing her cheek.

I felt how she placed her hands on mine. She was still trembling and I noticed how she was panting. The gray wolf walked closer to us and Freckles closed her eyes and held back her breath. I also held back my breath. Damn, I was so fucking scared. I didn't want to tremble because I wanted to reassure Freckles, I wanted to make her feel she was safe with me; but I couldn't help it. I was fixedly looking at the gray wolf that was getting even closer to us. What the hell should we do? If we dared to run, that wolf was going to attack us, I was sure of it; but if we didn't move, then I didn't know what that wolf could do, what if it attacked us anyway? Then the wolf was right there next to us. It started smelling Freckles' leg and Freckles gasped and flinched; but she didn't scream. Then the wolf started smelling me too; and, like Freckles, I flinched, but I didn't make any kind of sound. I just stayed there still and fraught. Should we yell at the wolf or not? What was the right thing to do, man? Damn, I should have researched about gray wolves. Then the wolf started smelling Freckles' arm and it got even closer. I thought it was going to attack her, but I couldn't move because of the fear. It was supposed that wolves were afraid of human beings, that wolf shouldn't come so near; it was supposed that it was going to run away; but it stayed there and got even closer. Surprisingly, the wolf started licking Freckles' arm as it started pawing her and nose nuzzling her.

"Darren, it's licking me." Freckles whispered with trembling voice.

"I know, I can see that." I whispered astonished. This wasn't normal. "Don't be afraid, it's not gonna attack you; actually I think it's asking you some kind of petting. Oh my god, this is so strange." I exclaimed still in shock.

"What do I have to do?" Freckles asked still with trembling voice.

"Just... Just do not move." I said admiring that animal that was there. This was the first time I saw a wolf and I couldn't believe it was having a friendly reaction with a human.

"Darren, it's beautiful." She said also admiring the wolf; while the wolf was still licking her arm and then it started licking her face. "Oh my god!" She said giggling softly. "It's tickling me!" She giggled again and I giggled along with her.

"Enjoy this, Freckles. Maybe it won't happen again." I whispered in her ear. "What? Freckles, what are you doing? Just stay still!"

"I just want to pet it; maybe this is a friendly wolf." She whispered while moving her arm.

"No! What if not? Wolves aren't friendly and they are afraid of human beings! It could attack you because it could think you want to attack it!" I whispered kind of concerned.

"This seems to be a different wolf." Freckles whispered.

Of course, she ignored what I said and she started petting the wolf. Amazingly, the wolf didn't attack her and, instead, it started to lick her hand as Freckles started giggling again. I was just in shock, admiring this situation.

"It's so cute!" She exclaimed cheerfully. Now she wasn't scared at all. And I was calmer, I needed to admit it.

"I think it likes you." I whispered in her ear, giggling softly and smiling brightly, still amazed and captivated.

"Come on, pet it you too!" Freckles said.

"Oh no! The wolf is friendly with you, not with me. I shouldn't do it." I whispered.

"Come on, Darren!" She said again, now looking at me.

"Okay... Damn, I must be crazy." I said a bit afraid. But I did it, I was totally insane.

But the wolf didn't attack me; instead, it started licking my hand too. I couldn't help it but laughing of happiness. Man, this was so weird; this was never going to happen. This was amazing, this was truly amazing. What kind of wolf was this?

"Look, Freckles, look! It's letting me to pet it!" I exclaimed happily while still laughing softly. My heart was beating really fast because of the adrenaline, but I was so amazed.

"I know! Isn't it amazing?" She exclaimed also happily as the two of us started petting it.

"It is! Oh my god, it truly is!" I exclaimed excited as a child.

"Aww! I want to keep it, Darren!" She exclaimed in a very adorable way.

"No, we cannot do that. This is a wild wolf, it enjoys being free in this forest. Maybe we should set it free now." I said looking amazed at the gray wolf.

"Yes, you're right." Freckles whispered. "Can I kiss it at least?"

"No, do not do that. It's dangerous!" I said quickly, but, again, she ignored my comment and she kissed it as the wolf licked her face and she giggled. "That's adorable." I exclaimed cheerfully.

And that was the last thing the wolf did before it turned around and ran away, getting lost in the forest. We both looked at the direction to where the wolf went, still in shock for what happened, feeling thrilled for sure. Then I stood up and I helped Freckles to put aside the branches that were tangling her. Once we got it, I gave her my hand to help her to stand up.

"That was extraordinary, Darren!" She exclaimed excited and then she pulled me into a hug and I startled. "I was so scared!" Then she said and I noticed she was still trembling, so I hugged her back as she buried her head on my chest. "Thanks for being here, despite the way I treated you."

"It's okay, Freckles." I whispered softly and I closed my eyes, enjoying this hug. Then I felt something wet in my chest. "Hey, are you crying?"

"Yes, it's just... I was really scared, I couldn't see anything at all and I was lost, alone and then... Then this wolf came up." She said with teary voice.

"Hey..." I whispered softly as I caressed her now short hair. "But everything was alright, right? We got to pet a gray wolf! Who does that? We're actually very lucky."

"I know! I know! But... But... We were lucky, what if that wolf wasn't a friendly one? What would have happened if you didn't find me?" She said still crying.

"Hey, but it was a friendly wolf. And I did find you, right? I'm right here. So, you shouldn't worry about what it would have happened. You should just enjoy this that maybe won't happen ever again. Do you have any idea of how many people tried to get closer to a gray wolf and never could get it? Lot of people. So, this should make you happy, Freckles." I whispered softly, trying to reassure her.

"I am happy, I'm just shocked." She said now resting her chin on my chest and looking at my eyes with her big and bright eyes; those beautiful eyes. I smiled softly at her.

"I'm shocked too." I admitted and then I did it without thinking. I kissed her forehead and she let me do it. Not only she let me do it, she also smiled slightly.

"I just... I want to come back home." She whispered.

"Why would you want it?" I asked confused, frowning.

"I... We were lucky this time, Darren. But maybe we won't be lucky next time. I just don't like this place so much." She said and I looked at her raising my eyebrows. Well, I never heard someone saying that didn't like this place.

"That is because you still didn't see all the beautiful things that this place has." I said smiling. "Come with me, I know about something that you'll love for sure." I said mysteriously.

"What is it?" She asked intrigued.

"Oh, it's a surprise." I said still mysteriously. "Come on, follow me." I said and I started walking, lighting the way.

"Darren?" Freckles suddenly asked softly.

"Yeah?" I asked while still walking.

"Can I hold your hand? I'll feel safer if I do it, I'm still a bit scared." She said shyly and I turned my face to look at her. It was really adorable to hear something like that.

"Yes, of course you can, Freckles. You don't even have to ask that." I said really softly as I held her hand and I intertwined my fingers with hers.

"Thanks." She said shyly and I looked at her for a while in silence.

Damn, in times like these was when I knew she still had something of the Freckles I knew and the Freckles I fell in love with. In time like these was when I had to admit that I was still in love with her, even if my feelings for her were confusing. I wanted to kiss her, but instead, I smiled kindly at her.

"Let's go." I whispered and she nodded.

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"Where are we going?" You asked frowning.

"I told you, it's a surprise." Darren answered while he kept walking, still holding your hand.

"We've been walking for hours." You complained, a bit moody because your legs were already hurting.

"That's because I'm lost." Darren answered quiet and you looked at him abruptly.

"You are what?" You asked aghast.

"Yeah... What you heard."

"I thought you already knew this place! That is what you told me!" You complained, still aghast. You couldn't believe he was lost.

"Yes, I know. But... I've never been in this specific place." Darren answered a bit uncomfortable.

"So that's it? We're lost in the dark in middle of a forest full of bugs, dangerous animals and maybe poisonous plants; with a flashlight that is going to run out of battery." You said in an exaggerated way, still feeling worried.

"Exactly, but think about the positive side... At least it won't rain." Darren giggled softly.

"How funny! Darren, what are we gonna do now?" You asked serious.

"Keep walking."

"No shit Sherlock!" You exclaimed sarcastically.

"You asked, I answered." He said laughing and then he stopped to look at you. "Hey, what if we're lost? It's funny when you don't know where you're going and you just enjoy what you're exploring. And this is an awesome place to explore." He said excited.

"Yes, but no when it's dark. Right now, this seems a creepy place." You said frowning, looking around.

"A creepy place? How come?" He asked in disbelief.

"Yes, it's creepy... All the shadows and weird noises; and sometimes you feel something touching your body and you can't tell if it's a branch, or a bug or some shit because it's dark like hell." You answered a bit scared.

"Oh well, I didn't know that you considered my hand as a branch or bug." He joked, chuckling.

"It's not funny." You said frowning and pouting.

"Okay... I don't think this place is creepy. All I see it's an amazing forest, with beautiful large trees and plants of all species; you've got weird flowers, pines, beech, hemlock, and maple, spruce, tamarack, alder, and white cedar. There are also bugs, but it all is part of the nature. And you've got to pet a wolf. Everything is as if we were in a fairy tale." Darren answered and you looked at him curiously.

"How come do you know so much about plants?" You asked and he chuckled.

"My mom taught me that." He answered, still chuckling.

"Your mom, how's she?" You asked curiously, realizing that you actually missed his family. They gave you a home when you were homeless, and you grew fond to them.

"She's fine; missing me and my bro now that we're at college. She misses you too, you know? She wouldn't stop asking me about you. She really loved you, so did my dad and Chuck." Darren answered quiet, walking again.

"Yeah... I loved them too and I kinda miss them. They were my family." You answered feeling a bit sad now. They were really your family when you needed one.

"You know? It doesn't matter what happened between us; I won't forbid you to see my family if you want to do so. Even if you and I parted, they still consider you a part of the family; so... If you want to visit them sometime but you don't want to see me, just let me know and I'll make up an excuse to not be there while you're there." Darren said avoiding your gaze, now serious, focusing on the way. The way he said it made you feel bad.

"That's silly, Darren." You finally said. "You can be there while I'm there; I don't mind."

"Yeah, okay..." Darren said kind of gloomy and you wondered why he would be acting like that. Then he stopped to turn his face and look at you. "I missed you too." He whispered and you looked at him surprised, raising your eyebrows. You couldn't answer anything at all because you didn't know what to answer; he noticed this, so he turned his face again to focus on the way. "We need to keep walking and find some place with fewer trees."

So you kept walking for a long time, now in silence but still holding hands. You were starting to think that you weren't going to find an escape from the forest; but hours after, you arrived to a place that indeed looked like a fairy tale. You were stunned. From there you could look at the clear dark starry sky; there were billion of shiny stars. But also that place exhibited a breathtaking overlook to a big beautiful lake with clear waters and interesting rock formations with a series of connecting caverns eroded around the base of the rocks. What the hell was this staggering place? It was a magical place.

"Oh my god." You exclaimed, still looking around really amazed.

"Yeah. We're at Miners Castle. Beautiful, isn't it?" Darren whispered, also looking all around.

"Beautiful? This is breathtaking! Like... I can't believe this is real." You whispered agape.

"Oh, but it is real." Darren whispered and you looked at him. He was smiling brightly and he seemed just as amazed as you. "Come on, come with me; I want to show you a place."

"What? Do you finally know where we are?" You asked while Darren was leading you to some place.

"Yes, I know." He said.

"So then... So then why don't we come back to the camp? Maybe tomorrow we can come back here." You said worried.

"Yes, we will come back; but first I want to show you something and for that it has to be dark." Darren replied.

You couldn't complain, because Darren seemed to be excited to show you that place and you needed to admit that you were intrigued. After all, at least you weren't lost anymore, so it was going to be easy to come back now that Darren knew where you were. Then Darren stepped behind you and he covered your eyes.

"What are you doing?" You asked frowning, a bit suspicious.

"Just trust me, I won't hurt you." He whispered in your ear and you closed your eyes.

What he said made you remember the time you lost your memory and couldn't remember him, when you were at The Golden Gate. He whispered you the same thing, so it made you shiver. Still covering your eyes with his hands, he led you to somewhere. Then he stopped you and he slowly placed his hands on your shoulders.

"You can open your eyes." He whispered while placing his cheek against your cheek.

You slowly opened your eyes and the view amazed you. You looked at that fabulous place with eyes wide open and open-mouthed. You were standing on the edge of a high rock from where you could see everything: the lake, the shore of the beach, the others rock formations, a part of the forest, and the marvelous starry sky. Oh geez! You were in love with this place; you wanted to live there forever.

"This is so wonderful." You whispered, still seeing the panorama.

"I knew you were going to like this place." Darren whispered kindly in your ear. "You always loved the starry skies and the panoramic views. I don't know if you still love it, but well, I needed to show you this, just in case."

"I still do love it." You answered and you turned your face to look at him and smile kindly. "Thank you, for showing me this place. It's magical." You said looking at the panorama again.

"Do you still like laying on the ground and watch the stars?" He asked softly and you turned your face to look at him again, smiling.

You couldn't believe that Darren could remember everything about you. It was something nice, actually. You smiled at him and he smiled back at you. Like that, you stared at each other for a while, not saying anything at all, just smiling. It was like the old times. Still, you needed to remember that it wasn't like before; but only for this moment, you wanted to forget that and just enjoy the moment.

"Yes, I do." You answered.

"Do you want to do it before returning to the camp?" He asked still smiling.

"Yes, I think I'd like that." You replied, smiling friendly.

Darren stepped back and he was the first to lie on the ground and you chuckled before laying on the ground next to him. The two of you just remained silent, only watching the shiny stars in this beautiful place. You were happy and peaceful; definitely you were feeling happy; you weren't doing anything at all, but it didn't matter because actually you didn't have to do anything but just enjoy the beauty of the nature.

"Have you ever watched the stars only to see if you saw a shooting star? You spend hours looking at the sky, watching stars. And for you, all of them seem equally beautiful. However, what you're expecting is a special star, a shooting star. That kind of star that you know that only you are gonna see, for an instant, and just because you were watching." You whispered while watching peacefully the starts.

Darren moved his hand and touched slightly your hand; you just held his hand and intertwined your fingers with his, without thinking. It just felt right. You glanced at him surreptitiously: he was just watching the stars with his bright and beautiful hazel eyes, smiling joyful. What if Brian was right? What if you still felt something for him? Then Darren glanced at you and caught you looking at him; but instead asking you something, he only smiled at you.

"I missed this, you know? Only with you I can do this kind of thing." He said softly, still looking at you and smiling.

"Same. I haven't done this since the time we were together." You admitted and you tried not to regret this that you said.

"I wish we could talk, Freckles. I really need to do it." Darren said with very bright eyes, looking deeply into your eyes.

"No, not right now. I don't want to ruin this moment." You said, looking at the stars again to avoid his piercing look.

"Please, I beg you. We really don't know when we can have time alone." He begged you in a desperate way that you looked at him. Maybe it was time.

"Fine, let's talk." You agreed and he smiled slightly at you.

"I don't know... I have so many things to say, I don't know how to start." Darren finally said after a while, while the two of you were still laying on the ground and looking at each other.

"I'll start." You said firmly and Darren looked at you surprised. "I want to tell you how I felt after you dumped me and disappeared."

"I didn't..."

"Please, just listen to me and then you can say whatever you want to say. But now, listen to me." You said interrupting him and he just nodded in silence. You were feeling nervous, but you had to do this. "My intentions aren't to make you feel bad and I do not want to recriminate you anything because it's something that I had to overcome by my own and I already got it. I just want to tell you how what you did made me feel, so maybe you'll understand why I act weird with you."

"Okay, I'll listen." Darren said softly and you looked deeply into his eyes before talking again.

"Occasionally we must pause to examine the past; line by line, step by step, tile by tile. And not to cry the lies but to sing the truths." You said and Darren was just frowning slightly. "And that is what I did to overcome the crappy situation I was living when you dumped me." You explained but he still couldn't get your point. "You see, when you dumped me, I felt empty and confused, I felt how my heart broke into million pieces. I couldn't understand why you would do something like that to me if you loved me, if you told me that you loved me. I felt how everything was falling apart and I was alone, by my own and no one was there to support me. You were the love of my life, Darren; I've never loved someone like you, but you disappeared because you only wanted me for sex and I couldn't give it to you in that moment." You explained, avoiding his gaze because it was impossible to talk about this and look into his eyes because it was hard. "When you dumped me the first reaction I had was to feel completely depressed and alone, I felt used as a toy, I felt how all the happiness faded away. As time passed, I started to feel confused and angry, helpless. Then I started to feel indifference and then, finally, I forgot you. That happened in a year." You said and you finally looked at him. He was looking at you kind of distressed, but you ignored it. "It was hard, but I got it with a little help from my friend, Brian, and from my sister and mom. They made me realize that life could move on, that I should overcome it because I still had a lot to live for. I couldn't believe it, it seemed impossible; until I tried not to cry the lies but to sing the truths." You said and Darren still couldn't get it. "I realized that I couldn't overcome what happened because all the time I was crying the lies; lies such as thinking that you truly loved me, that what we had was real and I lost it, that I couldn't live without you because you were the only one who could make me happy, that you were always there for me and now I didn't have you. Yeah, those things were destroying me, so I started singing the truths. I examined my past line by line and I realized that actually things weren't so much as I thought they were. No, you never loved me, you pretended to love me, so what we had wasn't real; I realized that I could live without you because in the past I didn't even know you and I was fine, besides I had an amazing friend and a lovely sister and mom. Then it was when I started seeing things that before I couldn't see because I was blinded by my love for you. I remembered all the cruel things you told me and the ones I told you; I remembered all those times when you ignored me or when you didn't want to do certain things with me; I remembered how you were with me when we first met, when you were ashamed of being with me; I remembered it all. I finally sang the truths and thanks to that, I could forget you."

"Freckles... It isn't like that." Darren said distressed.

"Just let me finish, Darren." You said firmly and roundly. "Even though I realized it all, I was still feeling depressed. My mom didn't know what to do to make me feel good again, but eventually she found the way. I needed to be away from all the things I knew that reminded me of you. So, she gave me a new phone with a new number so you wouldn't be able to contact me to make me feel bad; that is why we moved from San Francisco to Los Angeles; I went to a school there and I met cool people who made me stop thinking about you; that is why I even used a fake name in Facebook, so you wouldn't find me in internet; that is why we hid every evidence that could make you find me. It was as if I wasn't in earth anymore for you." You explained and Darren was looking at you frowning and open-mouthed, as if he was understanding something. "And that is why I tried to be busy all the time, to not think about you and to forget you. It allowed me to change my personality by hanging out with my new friends, allowed me to lose weight by going to the gym, and allowed me to learn new things, such as play tennis, play the guitar, sing, paint and draw, act, and make handcrafts. I loved doing all those things and it made me want to live life again the way I deserved, it made me happy again. And it came a point that I stopped thinking about you and that made me feel really happy. You were no one for me; I didn't care about you anymore. It took me a long time, but I got it." You said looking at him as he looked at you hurt, his eyes were teary.

"That is... That is tough." He whispered with teary voice, looking down.

"I know, and I'm sorry. But it was like that, you really hurt me, Darren; but I understood that it doesn't matter in how many pieces my heart broke, the world wouldn't stop for me to fix it; so I just had to find a way to do it, and the only way was to forget you." You said biting your lower lip, looking down.

"So, all this time, all you tried to do was only to forget me." He said still looking down, frowning and distressed. "And when you got it, you felt happy again. Because I wasn't part of your life anymore, for that you were happy."

"Yes." You answered curtly. It was hard to tell him this, but he needed to know; you wouldn't lie to him. Darren looked up to you with teary eyes and then he looked down again.

"So, I shouldn't be afraid to assure that when you saw me again after a year... You weren't happy, you didn't like to see me again." He said almost in a whisper.

"No, it's not like that." You said and Darren looked at you abruptly. You needed to explain him. "When I decided to attend the University of Michigan, I was aware that, eventually, I was going to see you. So I was prepared for that moment. Of course I never expected that it could happen so soon and that my roommate could be your friend. I was decided to act with you in a way that I'd act with any stranger; because we were that, we were strangers regardless of all that happened between us in the past. We were strangers because nothing of what we had was true." You said and he looked down again. "I was prepared to see you, Darren. I was decided to act like a stranger with you. But I couldn't get it. I felt good when I saw you again and I wasn't supposed to feel like that. That is why I act in a weird way with you; because you make me laugh, but then I remember why we are apart and so I act distant with you."

"I don't understand you." He said frustrated. "You say that you wanted to forget me, but then you got prepared to see me; then you saw me and I make you feel good, but you don't want to feel good with me... I just don't get it."

"What I'm trying to say is that..." You started saying and then you sighed. "You know? Occasionally I like to think about all these people who taught me so many things that I had never imagined before. They taught me well, very well when it was much needed, showed me so many things I never thought were possible. I like to think about all those friends deep inside my heart who, when I had no chance, gave me one. You were one of them and for that never, in my entire life; I'll forget your presence. You welcomed me and restored me whole, complete. But now I'm a different person, I changed. And I forgot you in terms of the love affair we had."

"I see..." He said gloomy, while looking down, biting his lower lip and nodding. Then he looked up to you, distressed. "I really thought that we were going to last."

"I also thought that we were going to last; but you see, at the end nothing lasts forever and we lose those people we once loved. Nothing is forever; the coffee cools, the smoke clears, time passes, and people change." You said shrugging, looking at the stars and feeling weird. You finally were talking to him and it was a tranquil talk, it surprised you.

"I know that nothing lasts forever. But actually we never lose the people we love. They achieve immortality through us. They're still alive in our hearts and in our minds. They're always involved in each of our actions, ideas and decisions. And you were one of those people for me." Darren said and you looked at him, frowning. "You're still one of those people for me; you're always in my heart and mind, all the fucking time." He said looking deeply into your eyes. He couldn't say that to you.

"You should stop doing it, Darren; it's not good for you." You said sadly, looking at him.

"Why?" He asked almost desperate.

"Because I'm not the girl I used to be, so I shouldn't be involved in your ideas and decisions; I shouldn't be in your heart all the time. And because while I'm still in your heart, you might have hopes of something that won't happen that is us being together again." You explained and you knew it sounded rough, but it was the truth.

"Why do you say it won't happen again? How can you be so sure about the future?" He asked frowning.

"Because I've made a lot of mistakes and you've made a lot of mistakes; mistakes that are hard to forget and mistakes that I don't want to remember and I'm sure you don't want it either. Mistakes that hurt me too much and took me a long time to overcome." You replied.

"Well, yes, I've made mistakes. Life didn't come with instructions." Darren answered now kind of upset, raising an eyebrow and looking at the stars.

"I know, Darren, and it is okay. But actually, what I'm trying to say is that what we had probably was a mistake because we never were meant to be together." You said, also looking at the stars. It was really hard to say it, but he needed to understand. He looked at you frowning and apparently anguished.

"So, if what we had was a mistake; then you were my favorite mistake. And I'll never regret something that once made me smile." He said looking deeply into your eyes as he held your hand again. You quickly let it out and looked at him frowning.

"Stop saying those things, Darren." You said roundly, looking at him fixedly. "It hurts me." You said with teary voice. Damn, you shouldn't want to cry. "It broke my heart when you dumped me, Darren. So I don't want to hear you saying those things because it hurts me. It'd be different if our relationship would have ended in a different way; but you disappeared leaving me alone. For that I always regret what we had and for that I don't want you to say those things." You said with teary voice again and Darren was looking at you really distressed. Then he sat and moved closer to you, while looking deeply into your eyes.

"Do you regret the beginning which ended so badly, or just the ending itself? Because if you regret the beginning, then you regret absolutely everything we had together, all the things we've experienced and learned that made us be what we are now. And if you regret the ending itself, then we can fix it, we can give it another ending that would be a new beginning." Darren said holding your hands again. He seemed to be desperate and he had teary eyes.

"Stop, Darren, stop." You said with choked voice and you couldn't help it, you started shedding some tears. Geez, it had been a long time since the last time you cried. Darren softly wiped away your tears with his thumb and you moved his hand away. "I don't want you to touch me, Darren. I don't want you to say me lovely things. I don't want this. I just want you to stop because you're hurting me; it hurts me the way you treat me now, so nice and kind all the time. How can you treat me like that after what you've done to me? How can you play with my feelings like that? I just won't allow that. You hurt me once, you won't hurt me twice." You said roundly but with teary voice.

"Okay, I won't do anything of that if that is what you want. But first you have to listen all I have to tell you. First you have to listen how things actually were." Darren said looking away and serious, also with choked voice.

"Okay, fine." You answered, also looking away and still feeling bad.

"Well... I never wanted to dump you, I never wanted to disappear and I never wanted us to part." He said with choked voice and you looked at him frowning in disbelief.

"Are you serious, Darren?" You asked ironically.

"Yes, I'm totally serious." He said expressly, now looking at you. "What I felt for you was true love, so what we had, was real. I never stopped loving you. Never." He emphasized.

"Just quit telling lies, Darren. I'm sick of your lies." You said sighing in disbelief, shaking your head.

"I'm not telling a damn lie. Nothing was a lie; that you think happened is a lie, Freckles." Darren said firmly and you just kept shaking your head. "I was forced to leave you." He said now desperate.

"How come, huh?" You asked raising an eyebrow, still not believing he was saying that. You weren't stupid anymore; he wasn't going to fool you.

"When we were sleeping in that hotel room, someone knocked the door. It was Jim and he had a fucking gun. He threatened me by telling me if I didn't write that note to you and if I didn't walk away from you to never come back; he was going to shoot you. I was scared." Darren said with trembling voice and looking at you exasperated. You looked at him frowning, suspiciously.

"And you expect me to believe this..."

"No, you don't have to believe me if you don't want. But I'm telling you the truth." He said looking deeply into your eyes. He seemed to be honest, but you couldn't believe him.

"How am I supposed to believe you, Darren? How after you dumped me?"

"I'm telling you that I didn't dump you, goddammit!" He exclaimed exasperated and a bit upset and you looked at him astonished. He noticed this, so he sighed. "I'm sorry; I didn't mean to yell at you. Listen, you don't have to believe me. I'm just asking you to listen to me. I've been waiting for this moment to talk to you about this like... like forever. So please, give me the chance to tell you what happened regardless if you believe me or not." He begged looking deeply into your eyes.

"Okay, fine. I'll listen to you." You answered, trying to be less rude to him. Maybe he was telling you the truth, maybe not. You still didn't know, but you had to listen to him just the way he listened to you.

"Jim forced me to do it; he was aiming me and you with the gun while you were sleeping. I was scared and I had no fucking idea what I should do, so I wrote the note just as he forced me. After that, he took me to a car and he hit me and left me in middle of nowhere. I was too weak to walk and go to the hotel room again. I don't know how, but when I woke up I was at a hospital. I only wanted to talk to you, but doctors wouldn't let me to leave the hospital and I was still scared that Jim could come back to shoot you or something. After that, I had to come to Ann Arbor and I didn't have the chance to see you before. I felt really bad." He said with teary voice and eyes as you were looking at him serious, trying to believe him, but you just couldn't, even if he seemed to be honest. "I tried to find you, you know? I spent a whole damn year looking for you everywhere; I went to St. Ignatius but they couldn't give me any kind of information; I went to your house, no one was there; I went to your dad's house, he wasn't there; I went to every place we used to go but you weren't there; I tried to call you but your phone number wasn't the same; I searched for you in every telephone directory, in every high school of the state; I searched you in internet; I never could find anything at all, but I didn't want to give up. My brother thought I was completely insane and he was telling me all the time that I should forget you because you weren't going to appear. Jen was the only one who supported me because she knew what you meant to me; she helped me, but we never got anything. Not even a damn shit." He said with cracked voice and teary eyes. Yes, you didn't like to see him like that, but you just couldn't believe.

"Well, now you know why..." Was the only thing you could say. Darren was looking down, frowning, apparently feeling distressed.

"Yes, now I know. But it was hard for me. I couldn't keep being like that, it was taking me away; my life was going by and I wasn't living it the way I should. I needed to find you, but it was impossible. I really needed to let you go." He said still looking down and frowning, with teary voice. "And it hurts to let go. Sometimes it seems the harder you try to hold on to something, or someone, the more it wants to get away. You feel like some kind of criminal for having felt, for having wanted. For having wanted to be wanted. It confuses you, because you think that your feelings were wrong and it makes you feel so small because it's so hard to keep it inside when you let it out and it doesn't come back. You're left so alone that you can't explain. Damn, there's nothing like that, is there? I've been there and you have too." He said with cracked voice, looking into your eyes.

"Yes, I have." You answered gloomy, being honest. "Yes, there's nothing like that... But I've overco..."

"You've overcome it, yeah." He interrupted you. "And I thought I've overcome it too, but I was wrong. When I saw you again I realized I was wrong. I tried to go out with other people, other girls; just to see if in that way I could forget you. And I really thought I got it, but I was just fooling myself with things that weren't. When I saw you again, I realized that I was still in love with you and any other stupid love affair I had last year was just a farce. You were back, Freckles. You have no idea how fucking much I've been waiting for that moment to come, to see you again. You were back." He said with choked voice, now letting out a tear. You couldn't cry, even though you were feeling that pain in the chest.

"I was back. But not for you." You said kind of coldly, looking away and you noticed that Darren looked down and closed his eyes while frowning and then he looked up again.

"I know, I figured it." He whispered gloomy. "It really hurt me the way you were being with me. You need to understand that I've spent a long year searching you unceasingly; feeling really bad because I didn't have you and I still loved you, I missed you like hell; because you were the best I've ever had; and everything was unfair, it was unfair to be away from you. And when I saw you standing there... I was... I felt such happiness that I can't explain, I was shocked, I was stunned. And when we started getting along and everything seemed to be fine, I thought 'Damn, I'm so happy, man'." He exclaimed with a bright smile but teary voice and eyes. And he let out another tear; you couldn't tell if that was a tear of joy or a tear of sadness; or just a fake tear. "It didn't last so much... You started being distant and kind of mean to me. I swear I tried to understand you, all the time I was trying to remember that you were still thinking that I truly wanted to dump you, that you still didn't know that actually I was forced to do it; so I needed to understand you. But it was being hard, it was hurting me way too much the way you were super nice and adorable and funny with my friends while you were being cold with me." He said looking down and wiping away his tears. He paused for a while; he was trying to calm down. You didn't know what to do.

"I'm sorry, Darren. I couldn't pretend any longer, I couldn't stop thinking about all the things you did. I was fine before I saw you again, you know? I was fine." You said.

It sounded really harsh, but you couldn't help it. Darren remained silent and you noticed that he started shedding more tears; even if he was trying to hide it, even if he was looking away on purpose so you wouldn't notice that he was indeed crying; you noticed it. You really didn't know what to think or what to do. What if he was telling the truth? But what if he was lying again?

"I'm sorry that I made you wrong. It was never my intention." He finally whispered, still looking away, so you couldn't see his eyes. "I feel bad for having lost you; even if you're back, I still don't have you. You're not the same person with who I fell in love with, and I'm not the person with who you fell in love with. I used to know you so much, and I still remember everything about you, about the girl you used to be. But you're different now and I don't know you anymore, I don't even know what your real personality is; if it's the way you act with my friends or if it's the way you act with me. And it just hurts... Because I'm still in love with a girl that is in front of me right now, but I can't be in love with that girl, because that girl is not what I used to know. It just confuses me. And I'm sorry, but that is how I feel, I didn't choose to feel like that. Sorry."

"You know? My real personality is the way I act with your friends. That's the real me; the happy and kind girl, the funny, friendly and confident girl. But somehow, I can't be like that with you, you unbalanced me, Darren. Because every time I look at you, I can't avoid remembering the way I was, always so insecure and shy; and I don't wanna be like that anymore. That's why I can't act like myself with you." You explained in all honesty.

"You were adorable, Freckles. You're still like that, but... You lost something about your magic; I don't know what it is... But something is missing you, and I'm sure that you know it." Darren said looking at the panorama, sitting on the ground and wrapping his arms around his bent legs. You only looked down; yes, you knew what it was. "But I do understand you, as senseless as it may sound; because I'm not myself when I'm around you either; for different reasons than yours, though. Actually I'm a goober, silly, funny and sassy and weird guy; but when you're around, I'm this stupid, shy and gloomy guy, it's pathetic." He said making a face of disgust, frowning. "And the reason of why I'm like that with you is because I see how you're so distant while you're so close; and the worst way of missing someone is to be sitting beside her knowing you can't have her. And I perfectly know why I can't have you, I'm not a fool." Darren said finally looking at you. Then his eyes filled in tears again. "And I'm like that with you because I feel extremely guilty and I'm all the time thinking that I deserve what I get; but at the same time I'm not sure if this is what I deserve." He said with cracked voice, apparently hopelessly looking into your eyes. "I feel like a terrible and horrid person; but I'm not a bad person, I've just made a lot of mistakes, probably huge mistakes; but I am not... I am not a bad guy; I just want to, you know, I want to get it right. And it's hard to do while you keep reminding me something that I haven't even done. I feel bad not for what you think I did; I feel bad because I gave up on searching you to explain you this, I feel bad because of the way I made you feel, even if I wasn't the one to blame. I feel horrid." Darren said now shedding the tears while looking at you and then he turned his face to wipe away his tears; he seemed to be ashamed of you seeing him crying. That made you feel really bad, the way he seemed to be very distressed. Maybe he was really telling you the truth.

"You're not a bad guy... It's just that I can't... I can't..." You stammered because you were feeling nervous and sad at the same time; you just didn't know what was true and what not, you were confused.

"You can't believe me. I get it, and that's okay." He said with teary voice and he looked deeply into your eyes now that he wiped his tears away. "I'm not asking you to believe me; I'm not even asking you to be together again... The only I want from you is your forgiveness. I need you to forgive all my bad, because I have this pain and guilt inside me that isn't allowing me to move on; a pain that I've had since the last time I saw you in that hotel room and that didn't allow me to feel completely fine not even once in a year. I need to release this pain." He said with teary voice and eyes, but avoiding your eyes and you started to feel anguished. "Please, I beg you to forgive me and I swear I'll leave you in peace if that is what you want. Please, forgive me, Freckles." Darren begged with teary voice, now looking at you straight in your eye while tears were streaming down his face.

Oh geez, it's been a long time since the last time you felt like this. Your heart went out when you saw him crying like that, very desperate and stricken. Genuinely, your heart sank. He couldn't be lying, not after this; he couldn't pretend this. And he was only asking you to forgive him, nothing else. You couldn't help it; the way he was sobbing made you shed some tears as you looked deeply into his eyes. Damn, he'd been feeling really sorrowful all this time, he'd been feeling guilty all this time and he only wanted to talk to you to ask you your forgiveness; and all this time, the only you did was to act mean to him. You should've been more considered regardless of what you thought he did. You finally sat and moved closer to him to place a hand above his. You looked deeply into his teary and sad hazel eyes.

"I forgive you, Darren." You whispered with teary voice because you were still shedding tears.

When Darren heard this, he sobbed even more disconsolately, so you just hugged him. It was a true and meaningful hug; the first real hug you gave him since you saw him after a year. He buried his head on your chest as he wrapped his arms around your waist and you wrapped your arms around his neck and started caressing his curly hair. He kept crying and you could sense how he was having difficulties to breathe; you were also crying because this was a very sad situation and you wouldn't stop feeling that pain in your heart.

"Thank you, thank you so much." He said still sobbing while still burying his head on your chest.

You didn't know what to say, so instead you kissed the part of his forehead that was visible. He had his eyes closed and he wouldn't stop crying, you didn't know what to do to stop it. And you couldn't believe that you were crying, you couldn't remember the last time you did. You slowly placed a hand in his cheek so he looked at you as you wanted. Though, you didn't move your hand away from his cheek and he was just looking at you with those big hazel eyes; you remembered that his eyes were one of the things you loved the most of him. Since that moment, you only acted by instinct. You leaned and rested your forehead against his, and the two of you closed your eyes. You remained like this for a while, in silence until you kissed his lips very slightly. His lips were the same, they tasted as you remembered, they were just as soft as you remembered; and all that made your heart skip a beat, feeling a deep nostalgia in your heart. After that slight kiss, you remained with your eyes closed and touching slightly his lips with yours. Everything seemed to be the same, but this time it didn't feel right; because Darren wasn't that high school boy you knew and you weren't that high school girl. It just wasn't right and you knew it; but in that moment, you had to do it because it was something that was pending between you both. Like that last kiss of goodbye.

"We can't do this." You whispered in front of his lips, now opening your eyes.

He also opened his eyes and looked intensely into your eyes with those breathtaking hazel eyes. When he heard this, he looked down and shed one last tear. He just nodded slightly, in silence.

"I know..." He whispered after a while, still looking down. "I set you free now. We can stop seeing each other now that I got what I needed; if that is what you want and if that is what is gonna make you happy again."

"No, I propose you something instead." You whispered gently and he looked into your eyes again.

"What?" He asked with a hint of hopes in his eyes.

"We made it clear that you don't know me anymore and that I don't know you anymore. We're strangers right now, so we should act such as that. We should get to know each other again." You proposed.

"Like a fresh start?" He asked with bright eyes full of hopes.

"Like a fresh start." You assured, smiling slightly. "Maybe we could get to be friends. Who knows?" You said shrugging, still grinning slightly.

"I'd love that." He said with a sweet smile and still with bright eyes. "Can I hug you one last time?"

"Of course you can." You replied and he smiled before hugging you.

"Thank you, Freckles, for letting me talk about this that I was holding back. And thank you for being honest to me about how you were feeling. Even if you don't believe me, thank you for listening." He whispered softly in your ear while you were still hugging.

"You too, Darren, you too. We really needed to talk and I'm glad we did." You whispered before parting from the hug. "I think we should come back to the camp now. It is cold and really late."

"Yeah, we should." He said standing up and searching for his flashlight while you stood up. "Damn!" He exclaimed loudly, apparently concerned, hitting the flashlight with his hands.

"What happens?" You asked frowning, looking at him who was still hitting the flashlight with his hands.

"This shit wouldn't turn on." He said kind of annoyed and kind of worried.

"What?" You exclaimed now really worried. Oh no, this wasn't happening.

"I think it ran out of battery." He replied now looking at you concerned.

"What are we gonna do now, Darren?" You asked perplexed. "Do you know the way back? Can we do that without the flashlight?"

"No... I mean yes, I know the way back; but we have to walk through the forest and we need the flashlight."

"Oh my god, what are we gonna do? What?" You asked aghast.

"I don't know!" He exclaimed exasperated. "We're gonna have to wait until the sun rises. I just... I don't know what else we can do."

"What? Wait till the sun rises? Here? In middle of nowhere, cold and in the dark? Are you saying that we have to spend the night here?" You asked really terrified.

"Yes! Damn, I don't know what else we can do! I'm sorry... I don't wanna spend the night here either, but we have no other option, Freckles." Darren exclaimed frowning, apparently moody and you tried to calm down.

"Well, maybe it's not gonna be so bad... It may not be long before dawn." You said trying to sound positive, because Darren said it; you had no options so you needed to see the good side of this. "At least it's a mighty fine starry night and it's a beautiful place. And well... Maybe it's gonna be cool to see the dawn in this amazing place."

"Yeah..." Darren whispered looking at you with a smile, apparently surprised because of your positivism. "Yeah, surely it'll be cool."

"Maybe... Maybe we just need to make a campfire here, so we won't be so cold." You proposed because you were really cold, you didn't bring a coat.

"Yes, the problem is that I do not have an ignition source." He replied sighing.

"I do have a lighter." You said pulling out from your pocket a cigarette pack and you handed the lighter to Darren. He looked at you frowning.

"Do you smoke?" He asked gingerly.

"Yeah, just occasionally." You replied shrugging.

"Since when?" He asked again, apparently he was surprised.

"I don't know... About more than a half-year." You replied and he kept looking at you frowning. "But I'm not a committed and daily smoker; I only smoke in certain situations."

"I see..." He replied taking the lighter, still frowning.

"What? Does it surprise you?" You asked looking at him.

"Yes, it does. You don't seem the kind of girl who smokes. I can't say anything, though. I smoked few times, but just when I'm at parties and after I drank alcohol." Darren said shrugging and you looked at him curious.

"Well, you either seem the kind of guy who smokes." You said amused and he chuckled softly.

"I guess that neither of us is what we seem to be." He answered, still chuckling softly. "Alright, I'll gather some kindling."

"I'll help you." You said walking next to him.

So Darren and you started gathering some kindling to make that campfire. He convinced you that the best was going to make the campfire in the part of rocks because in the grass you were going to get wet because of the soil moisture and probably you would end up getting sick. So you were now sitting around the campfire, just looking at the panorama and stars in silence. You had no idea what time it was, but you didn't care anymore; you were just trying to enjoy the moment even though you were still a bit cold. Neither you nor Darren spoke, both of you were thoughtful. You were still thinking about the things Darren said. What if he told you the truth? What if he never meant to leave and everything, all the suffering, was Jim's fault? You looked surreptitiously at Darren; he was peacefully looking at the view in front of him, sitting with his arms wrapped around his bended legs, resting his chin on his knees; the campfire light was illuminating his face and it was making him look beautiful. Then you thought... If he was telling the truth and everything was Jim's fault... What if he also suffered your separation? Could he have suffered just as much as you? You couldn't stop looking at him, thinking about it. Then Darren glanced at your direction and when he caught you looking at him, he smiled friendly; you just smiled back and you looked at the panorama again. Then a cold breeze blew and it made you shiver; damn, even if you were next to the campfire, you were still cold.

"Here, take it." Darren suddenly said and you looked at him again. He was handing you his hoodie. That was very sweet gesture.

"Oh, no! I'm fine, thanks." You smiled kindly.

"Come on, you're freezing. Take it."

"No, it's okay, really. I don't want you freeze because of my fault; I'm young to be jailed." You said jokingly and Darren laughed softly.

"You see, we have a problem there; because if you don't take it, then you're gonna press charges against me because I forced you to do something you didn't want. So, options are whether you take it now and we both are gonna be safe and sound or you don't take it, so then I'll force you and I'm gonna freeze and we both are gonna be jailed. It's up to you." Darren said smiling amused, looking at you. You looked at him just as amused as him, open-mouthed.

"You sneaky devil! Well played, Criss." You said shaking your head, laughing while you took his hoodie and put it on. Oh geez, it had his smell and you always loved it.

"I'm good, aren't I?" Darren said mischievously. "That hoodie looks good on you."

"You gotta be kidding me, Darren. Look, it's baggy. I totally look like Chuckie Finster, the redheaded character of The Rugrats." You said frowning but amused and Darren just laughed out loud.

"Not at all! You first have to dye your hair. And you need glasses. See? Keep on trying, my dear." He said laughing and you looked at him amused, raising an eyebrow.

"Oh, you think you're very clever..."

"Oh yeah, I'm very witty and keen." He answered winking, with a mischievous and sexy smile.

"And you most definitely have a knack for flirting, sir." You answered giggling, shaking your head.

"Not sure about it... Should I try to figure it out?" He asked looking at you mischievously.

"You can yeah, but you aren't considering the options of being kicked on your ass because of that." You replied also mischievously.

"Maybe I could take the risk." He said moving closer and still looking at you in that way.

You knew well this kind of situation; you knew how it could end, because you've been there with your ex-boyfriend Ian. Everything was going to start like a simple game, an innocent and playful flirting game; neither of you would have the intention to go further; but the more flirting, the more intense it was going to get. Then the two of you would end up in an intimate situation without even realizing how you ended up like that because you never had the intention to get that. Oh yeah, you knew it; so you needed to stop with this, even though you were aware that Darren was doing it only in a jokingly way.

"You better don't, Darren. Talking in all seriousness." You said now looking away.

"I was just joking. You know that, right?" He said after a while, frowning.

"Yes, I know." You replied with a faint smile.

"Good." He said nodding.

You stayed silent for a while, neither of you looking at each other, until you looked at him surreptitiously. He was now laying on the ground, placing his head above his arms, just watching the stars in silence. Could he be feeling bad? Did you say it in a rude way? It was hard now to find out what he was thinking, unlike the old times; he just seemed to be very deep in thought. A cool breeze blew again and this time it was him the one who shivered. Of course, he gave you his hoodie even though he was also cold. Maybe you were still acting rude with him and he was still acting nice to you; maybe you should stop doing that. You moved closer to him and he noticed this, so he finally glanced at you, frowning slightly and still lying on the ground. You didn't say anything at all, you just lay down on the ground right next to him, and then you turned to your side and wrapped your arms around him to give him warmth. He stiffened with your touch and looked at you stunned, raising his eyebrows in surprise. However, he turned to his side and wrapped his arms around you, snuggling up to you to keep the warmth. Now you were face to face and you were looking deeply into each other's eyes in the light of the campfire.

"Thanks, I was kinda cold." He whispered with a kind smile.

"Do you want the hoodie back?" You asked softly.

"No, keep it." He replied shortly, still smiling.

"Thank you." You said smiling warmly. "Are we gonna freeze to death?"

"Maybe..." He answered laughing softly. "But if we stay like this, I doubt we could die. So don't worry, we still have a long life to live." He said still giggling softly.

"Okay, I trust you." You said smiling kindly and then you snuggled up even closer. Now Darren was looking at you with bright eyes, it was an intense look. "What?" You asked curiously.

"Nothing." He answered softly, but still looking at you in that intense way.

Then he started caressing your cheek very smoothly, while still looking intensely into your eyes and smiling slightly. For some reason you let him doing so because it was making you feel a pleasant ticklish in your tummy, something that Ian never got to make you feel. Darren's eyes were really bright and more in the light of the campfire. Minutes after, he rested his forehead on yours and started nuzzling your nose with his, now closing his eyes. Damn, this feeling... This feeling you haven't felt for a long. As an instinct, you also closed your eyes and placed your hands on his chest. Well, his chest was more toned than what you remembered. Stop, you shouldn't feel like that. No matter how you were feeling in that moment, that wasn't the Darren you knew and he was the guy who left you alone, who made you suffer. But his touching felt so good.

"Give me one night. Only one night." Darren whispered still with his eyes closed, but you opened your eyes to frown in confusion.

"One night? I don't understand." You whispered, looking at him who still had his eyes closed and who kept nuzzling your nose with his.

"Give me a night to say goodbye to you, then we can start from scratch. Please." He begged softly now opening his eyes and looking at you with bright eyes. There was hope in his eyes.

"What do you wanna do?" You asked still confused. Anyway, deep inside, you knew what he meant, you knew what he wanted and that made you feel nervous.

"I want just to relive what we used to be before we parted. Only for tonight forget what happened with us, forget who we are now, forget everything. Only for tonight I want to feel that I still have the girl I missed as hell, that I still have someone who truly understands and loves me and a person that I love back just as much, just as before. Only for tonight." He said looking deeply into your eyes. Wow, his eyes never were so bright. But you were nervous, you couldn't do that. "You have no idea how much I longed for this moment to have you in my arms again, to feel it again, one last time. And we never could say goodbye to each other, let me do it tonight and I promise you that tomorrow we'll be what we are now again. Just give me the chance." He begged with chocked voice and you had to look away because his words were piercing your heart.

Yes, you also longed for this moment. You always longed for a worthy goodbye. Damn, you always longed to feel the warmth and comfort of his arms again. But that was in the past and you couldn't go back in time. You didn't know what to answer. Darren raised your chin softly and you looked into his hazel eyes again. Maybe one last time, maybe the real goodbye. He leaned and closed his eyes as he kissed your lips very slightly, while placing a hand on your jaw. After that slight kiss, he kept resting his forehead on yours and touching his lips with yours, with his eyes still closed, just breathing in front of your lips. You were still looking at him and then you looked at his lips. Maybe you could just let yourself to carry away and just pretend you were still that high school girl who needed to say goodbye to the person she loved the most; even if it wasn't like that anymore. The love you felt for him in high school was really deep to have had that sad goodbye it actually had; this was the chance to change it. So you leaned and kissed his lips also slightly, while placing a hand on his chest and the other hand on the nape of his neck, feeling his curls intertwined in between your fingers. Then Darren placed both of his hands on your jaw and kissed again, this time deeper. He moved closer and his chest touched yours as he intertwined his legs with yours, deepening the kiss. This was the moment you could notice the way his heart was beating fast and the way he was breathing with difficulties. Also his body was trembling the same way than yours. You felt his tongue on your mouth again and this made you feel just as the same way you felt whenever Darren kissed you. You ran your fingers through his very curly and long hair as he also ran his fingers through your short hair. The kiss was really passionate but also sweet and tender; and it was a wet kiss because the two of you were shedding tears for no reason. It was just that the two of you were aware that this was a real goodbye, the one you never got the chance to have. And that was thrilling. He broke the kiss to look into your eyes with teary eyes while caressing your cheek with his thumb.

"I never stopped loving you." He whispered in front of your lips and you let out the last tears.

"Neither did I." You admitted in a whisper.

You closed your eyes again, just to feel his breathing in front of your face, to feel the warmth of his lips in front of yours, to smell him. Just to feel all you used to feel long time ago. It seemed that Darren was also doing the same because neither of you spoke and neither of you did a movement. Darren was the first to press his lips against yours; he only touched your lips with his but it lasted several minutes. Then he started pecking tenderly and repeatedly your lips while nuzzling your nose with his and while caressing your hair smoothly. You also caressed his curly hair and his cheek; you touched his skin one last time and so did he. You snuggled up even closer and you entire bodies were touching; you could feel the warmth of his body again, one last time. You opened your eyes again and you looked into each other's eyes very deeply; you remained looking at each other like before; you could see his eyes, those same eyes that used to look at you in that way in high school; for the last time. You smiled at each other fondly again. You talked with no words, just as you used to do in high school.

"I'll always keep you in my memory and heart; I'll never forget what we had, even if we have to go separate ways now. You'll always be my first and real love, baby." Darren whispered in front of your lips with a fondly smile before the two of you fell asleep while cuddling for one last time.

This was the goodbye that your love deserved.