Plot outline: Crossover fic

Plot outline: Crossover fic. Jeff Dunham and Puppets are thrown into the Naruto-verse via magical swirly portal in a parking lot. When the puppets come to life due to the portal's magic and scattered throughout the Naruto world, Jeff has to find all of them before all hell breaks loose. But then again, with this bunch, that's not gonna happen.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Jeff Dunham and company.

Chapter 2: What the hell is wrong with you?

Naruto's new name

Walter cackled at the knuckleheaded ninja's face. "Lemme tell you something kid, I did that once to my grandson two seconds before an earthquake hit. Kid hasn't come near me since."

"Gee, I wonder why." Naruto muttered sarcastically. He was trying unusually hard to not flip out at this old man. He was just a little guy after all.

"Who are you anyways sonny?"

"I'm Uzumaki Naruto and I'm going to be Hokage one day dattebayo!" He cheered.

"What the hell is Hokage? Sounds like a fish." Walter questioned. Naruto's eye twitched.

"Y-you don't know who Hokage is?" He asked in complete disbelief. "The Hokage is only the most powerful ninja in the village and is the leader of the village!"

Walter stared blankly at him. "So you want to be a politician. Big whoop and I hate to break it to you kid, but there's no such thing as Ninjas you dumbass." Naruto started shaking slightly.

"Well, look at this!" He promptly created four shadow clones.

"Oh my god, they've reproduced." Walter groaned. Naruto's clones disappeared into smoke. 'This guy…." Naruto thought. Before he could finish the thought, Walter interrupted. "Hey, I'm hungry. Where's a decent place to eat around here?"

Naruto's face lightened up immediately. "Ichiraku Ramen bar of course!" Naruto practically screamed.

"Don't know what the hell ramen is, but let's go."

Ayame and her father stared at Walter in bewilderment as he sipped a cup of green tea. "Byyyyahhhh…." He pulled a face at them. Teuchi turned away and began cooking up more ramen as Naruto was finishing up his fourth bowl. "Is it really healthy to be inhaling that like that?" Walter complained. "You're gonna choke dumbass."

Naruto promptly dropped his bowl on the counter. "My name is Naruto! Not dumbass!"

"Well, I'm not going to remember your name and it's easier just to call you dumbass, dumbass." Walter defended. Naruto raised his fist to send Walter flying when a girl entered, and quickly ducked out with an "Eep!"

"Huh?"

Naruto got up and looked around to see Hyuuga Hinata leaning against the side of the stand furiously red and playing with her fingers. "Oi, Hinata-chan. What are you doing?"

"Oh h-hi N-Naruto-kun." She squeaked. "I was j-just leaving. I-it's a bit c-crowded in there." With that she took off down the alley.

Naruto re-entered the stand and sat down. "Man, she's so weird." He commented. Ayame chuckled and shook her head as she passed Naruto another bowl. "Whaaattt?" He whined.

"You dumbass." Walter grumbled.

Temari Traumatized

"Get. Off. NOW." Gaara growled through gritted teeth, finally having recovered from the shock.

"Oh come on, come on! Let's be best friends?" Peanut squealed.

"NO!" Gaara yelled and shook the puppet off.

Peanut sulked in the corner. "Y-you didn't- WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BE SO HEARTLESS?" Peanut sobbed. Heartless really got Gaara, ever since Naruto had changed his view on life. Besides, the title of best and first friend truly belonged to the possessed blonde ninja.

"I didn't mean-"

"YAY! THEN FRIEND'S IT IS!" Peanut screamed, without letting Gaara finish his sentence and pounced upon the young Kazekage again. Gaara twitched. He was really trying to keep his temper and demon under control.

"Gaara! I heard screaming! I'm coming in whether you like it or not." Temari opened the door to see the most bizarre sight of her younger brother with what looked like a purple and yellow monkey hanging on him in the midst of his once perfect office which was now looked like Kankuro's room after him digging for a clean pair of socks.

"HI! I'M PEANUT! YOU'RE PRETTY!" The thing called Peanut crowed. 'Oh. My. God.' Was all Temari could think, while giving a look of absolute repulsion.

"Help Me." Gaara mouthed at his older sister, looking positively murderous.

"You know, Jeff would absolutely kill me for this, but you've got nice…ta-tas…" Peanut giggled insanely.

"EXCUSE ME?"

Temari was now scandalized and traumatized at this thing looking at her chest. With that, Gaara pulled the puppet off of him and encased him in sand.

"LEMME OUT LEMME OUT! I'LL BE GOOD I SWEARRRRR!!" The thing screamed.

"What are you exactly?" Gaara asked.

"A woozle puppet of course!" Peanut beamed at the fact that he hadn't gotten killed yet.

"Temari." Gaara said almost too soft to hear in a dangerous tone. "Go find Kankuro. Now." Temari gulped. She wasn't too sure about the state of Gaara's sanity at the moment, but was too creeped and terrified at the puppet checking her out and her little brother's rage to disobey.

Jeff's sanity is questioned

Jeff walked alongside Tsunade. He couldn't quite get over the fact that he was in a different world with ninjas. He made a mental note to find a ninja puppet when he got back home. "Judging by your description of events, they could be anywhere across our world. Which is greater than you are thinking. As soon as we reach the academy, I will show you a map." Tsunade informed Jeff briskly. Jeff groaned. This was going to be impossible!

"Can't we send alerts out to the other villages to be on the look-out for talking puppets?"

"Not as easy as it sounds. We might be able to locate this 'Peanut' first. You described him as 'a monkey on crack'?" She asked uncertainly.

"Yeah." Jeff moaned. "Oh why did he have to come into my head like that? Who knows what chaos he'll be creating!" He covered his face with his hands. This was a nightmare! His puppet were going to cause international incidents and it was all his fault for not ignoring the swirling portal. Although he might have backed up into it anyways. 'This guy is certifiable.' Tsunade thought. 'He might have a head injury.'

Birds of a feather stick together

"What is it Deidara?" Sasori growled. "We don't have all day. Leader-sama is waiting for us to report back with details. And I have new puppet parts waiting to be installed into the 3rd."

"You better come look at this Sasori-no-danna. Yeah." The blonde said. Sasori lumbered over.

"What the Hell?" Sasori studied the Skeleton. It appeared to be either of a midget or a puppet. He was going with puppet.

"Greetings…other infidel." Achmed cackled. "I am Achmed. Who might you be gentlemen and lady?"

"LADY?" Deidara snarled.

"Oh, excuse me sir. My mistake." Achmed quickly corrected.

"I am Sasori, and the hermaphrodite is Deidara." Sasori answered calmly. "Excuse us, we would stay and chat, but we are keeping people waiting."

"HERMAPHRODITE?!" Deidara fumed.

"Please, you two look like you belong to a group of absolute terror judging by the weapons and blood. May I ask which one, as I also am associated with a group of…terror. A terrifying organization of…terror." Achmed proclaimed proudly.

"Akatsuki, mean anything to ya?" Deidara growled.

"No, does Al Quaeda mean anything to you?"

"No."

"I am a suicide bomber, please allow me to accompany you."

"NO."

"Now, now Deidara. You opened your mouth. We cannot leave him since now, thanks to you, he knows about Akatsuki."

"Let's kill him. Un." Deidara suggested.

"No! I have not received my virgins yet!" Achmed cried. "Plus, I am already dead. Therefore, I cannot die again!" He then cackled at the convenience of the pre-mature detonation.

"He may prove to be useful. You two can talk explosions and leave me the hell alone for once." Sasori started walking away despite Deidara's protests and curses, already planning on how to fully dissect Achmed to figure out his secret to be alive without any other means of doing so. There were no other chakra signatures anywhere other than theirs. Truly curious indeed.

I'M NOT INSANE!

"Mexican pepper." José fumed. He was truly insulted. He tried to move and discovered that he could hop around shakily on his stick. "Yay for being on a stick!" José exclaimed.

"Sasuke-kun, what the hell are you talking about?" Kabuto had been woken up from a well-deserved nap by the young Uchiha screaming about a talking Mexican pepper in his closet.

"Come on! I'll show you!" Sasuke was insisting on Kabuto checking this thing out. Finally, Kabuto gave in and walked with the brat. 'Sasuke-kun is really becoming a diva.' He thought.

José decided that revenge would be perfect punishment for mistaking him for Mexican Pepper, when he was a Puerto Rican Jalapeño. On a stick. He found a space behind the door that would hid him from view until the door was closed. The Jalapeño on a stick giggled at the thought of messing with this insulting brat. He shut up when he heard arguing coming from down the hall. A twenty-something year old guy with silver hair stormed in with the offensive boy. José decided to deem him Cockatoo from his hair. The man then opened the closet door and looked around.

"Sasuke-kun, there's nothing there."

"Kabuto I swear he was! He was singing Mariachi music and everything!" Sasuke whined. 'Sasuke. This knowledge of Cockatoo's real name will be useful in the future.' José thought.

"You got thrown pretty hard by Orochimaru-sama during training today. I think I should check you for a concussion." Kabuto said worriedly. Sasuke permitted Kabuto to check. "Nope, no concussion." Kabuto was concerned. Sasuke wasn't the one to pull pranks and he was genuinely convinced that there was a talking Mexican pepper residing in his closet. "Get some sleep Sasuke." Was all his advice before leaving and closing the door behind him.

Sasuke then tore the closet apart looking for the thing on a stick.

"Looking for me?" José called. Sasuke froze and then slowly turned around.

"YOU." Was all he said before lunging for José. José quickly hopped into a tight corner behind Sasuke's headboard.

"By the way, my name is José. And For your information I am a Puerto Rican Jalapeño. On a stick." Sasuke clawed for him, but could not get in after him. The bed was stone, making it nearly impossible to move. José began laughing. Sasuke gave up and instead sulked on the bed.

"You're going to have to come out sometime you know." He snarled. José's response was to sing mariachi.

OK, Not as good as last chapter. And In response to Secret Identity, Melvin will show up eventually. Maybe Bubba and Sweet Daddy Dee also might turn up.

Review! Please?

José: Si…por favor

Achmed: Ooh, a talking Mexican pepper

José: Puerto Rican Jalapeño! Get it right!

Achmed: SILENCE! I kill you!

Me: ….walking away now…