Plot outline: Crossover fic

Plot outline: Crossover fic. Jeff Dunham and Puppets are thrown into the Naruto-verse via magical swirly portal in a parking lot. When the puppets come to life due to the portal's magic and scattered throughout the Naruto world, Jeff has to find all of them before all hell breaks loose. But then again, with this bunch, that's not gonna happen.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Jeff Dunham and company.

Why is it whenever I write Peanut, Cantina Band is all that comes to mind? Alas, the mysteries of the world.

Chapter three: The lurve bug.

Kabuto to the rescue!

Karin snuck along the wall. This time, for sure, Sasuke-kun would succumb to her. She paused. Was that Sasuke-kun singing...mariachi music? HOW ROMANTIC! She nearly swooned in the corridor. "Oh Sasuke-kuuuunnnn…" Karin called as she was in the doorway.

"Oh god no." Sasuke's eyes widened and he began panicking. That psycho bitch just HAD to show up when he thought things couldn't get any worse!

"Sasuke-kun did you miss me while I was gone?" Karin cooed.

"No." Was his rude reply.

"You're so cold Sasuke-kun!" Karin started to sniffle.

"Psst. Señor." José the Jalapeño hissed. "Comfort the poor Senorita." Karin had then thrown herself on him and was sobbing into his chest.

"Get. Off." Sasuke tried to shove her off to no avail. Sakura had never done anything dramatic like this, well except when he left the village, but that was different.

"Karin, off of Sasuke-kun." Kabuto was back with a bottle of something. "Sasuke might have a head injury and doesn't need you making a scene." Sasuke made a mental note to get Kabuto something nice for his birthday.

Karin stalked out of the room, pausing in the doorframe. "I'll be back in the morning Sasuke-kun."

"Please don't."

"What is that?" Sasuke pointed to the bottle in Kabuto's hand.

"Nothing, just an empty bottle. I heard Karin coming down the hall a mile off and figured you might need some assistance. She used to stalk me when she first came here." Kabuto said, pitying the young Uchiha for once. With that he left.

José waited. Then "Hey, Sasuke. Do you not like the poor senorita?"

"No. Don't talk to me."

"Why not, I'm so lonely. Oh so Lonely, I got nobody, I'm all on my owwwwnnnnn oh I'm so lonely!" The Jalapeño on a stick sang.

"Shut up!"

"Sorry. But seriously why do you not like the senorita? Is she really that horrible like a cock-a-roach. On a stick?"

"Yes. Besides, I'm kind of in lo- Wait, why I am I talking to a talking pepper?" Sasuke suddenly snarled.

"We went over this before, Señor. I am a Jalapeño. On a Stick." Sasuke refused to answer that. José gave up and starting humming.

"Stop that."

"No."

The Beautiful green beasts of the Leaf arrive!

"What do you mean by dumbass old man?" Naruto practically screamed. Walter glared at the Kyuubi container.

"Well, first off, my hearing's bad enough without you ruining it further and second, if you can't figure it out by yourself why should I tell you?" They had left the ramen stand decided it would be best to hide Walter at the Academy for the meantime.

"What's obvious?" Naruto persisted. Walter merely crossed his arms and looked away. He really was starting to miss the blue Prius driving bastard. At least he wasn't a complete dumbass like this kid, even if he did own a damn annoying Chihuahua. At least Jeff's wife was tolerable unlike his own. Why wouldn't the bitch die already to leave him the hell alone! Sure, he might miss her, but that's what photo albums are for!

"Ne, ne! Tell me" Naruto pleaded.

"No."

"Naruto-kun? Is that you?" A green spandex-clad boy older than the A.D.H.D ninja paused running around on his hands to talk.

"Hey Fuzzy-brows."

"You should be training on this beautiful youthful spring day. It would be a waste of your adolescence to not be taking advantage of it." Rock Lee scolded.

"Well I was going down to the training fields before I found this geezer on my porch." Naruto gestured to Walter.

"Who you calling geezer dumbass?" Walter grumbled.

"Is that a ventriloquism dummy Naruto-kun?" Lee asked, getting closer to examine Walter.

"Get away from me you freak." Walter snarled.

Naruto giggled. "Naruto-kun, you're not being very nice." Lee said.

"I'm not doing it, I swear!" Naruto defended.

"Sure as hell not. Kid doesn't have any brain cells. Do you know what it's like being stuck with him?" Walter complained.

"Um…"

Lee was unsure how to answer when a poof of smoke appeared. "DRAMATIC ENTRANCE!" A voice crowed. Gai-sensei stood there, grinning in the dramatic entrance pose. "Ahahaha…Hello there Naruto-kun. LEE! Why are you not training? You have not completed your 300 laps around the village on your hands!" With that Gai-sensei punched Lee.

"Oh my god, they've multiplied." Walter grumbled.

"Gomenasai, Gai-Sensei!" Lee cried.

"Lee!"

"Gai-sensei!"

"Lee!"

"Gai-sensei!"

A scene of a beach and beautiful sunset appeared behind them as they embraced.

"Dear god, it's like the gay parade left them behind!" Walter was thoroughly disturbed.

"Who is your friend, Naruto-kun?" Gai flashed his trademark 'nice-guy' smile.

"Oh my god, I'm blind!' Walter howled.

"This is Walter." Naruto grumbled. Walter responded with a stream of comments directed at both the spandex-clad pair and Naruto that cannot be repeated. Everyone stared at the old man, too stunned to speak.

"T-that really is one foul puppet, Naruto-kun." Lee finally said. Walter just cackled.

Kankuro's assignment

Temari had looked nearly everywhere for the puppeteer and could not find him. Finally, she checked his apartment on the other side of the complex. "Kankuro! Open up it's important!" She yelled while banging on the door.

Inside, Kankuro reluctantly pulled away from his girlfriend. He got up from the couch and moodily opened the door. "What's so important?" Temari looked past him at the disheveled looking girl on the couch.

"Hi Temari-san!"

"Hey." She responded. "Gaara is er…demanding your presence. We've got a problem."

"How big of a problem?" Kankuro was really not in the mood for one of Gaara's false alarms.

"A relatively disturbing and creepy one." Temari answered. Kankuro groaned and closed his eyes, fingers pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Go on ahead Kankuro-kun. I've got to go anyways." The girl on the couch said as she stood up and pulled on her shoes and Chuunin vest while attempting to appear decent again.

"Fine." Kankuro sighed as he also grabbed his shoes.

Gaara was sitting behind his now disaster area of a desk, glaring at Peanut who still encased in sand. "Hey, hey. Can you let me out now?" He squealed.

"No. You are a nuisance."

"Oh come on, come on! I'm not all bad! I CAN BE GOOD I SWEAAAARRRR!" He screeched. The door opened and the two older sand siblings walked in.

"What the hell is that Thing?" Kankuro said slowly.

"That's what I would like to know, Kankuro." Gaara's voice was once more deadly. Kankuro shivered. "It says it's a puppet."

"YAY ANOTHER FRIEND! HI! I'M PEANUT! WHO ARE YOU?" Peanut screamed. "AND PRETTY LADY IS BACK!" Peanut then chose to stare at Temari with a creepy stare. Temari shuddered and moved slightly behind Kankuro, who was at a loss for words. "Hey, hey, is he gonna let me down anytime soon? Come on…WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BE FRIENDS!" Peanut directed his attention back to Gaara.

Gaara sighed. "Look, I'll let you down if you swear not to jump up or scream anymore."

"I SWEARRRRRR!!" Peanut screeched. With that, Gaara dropped the puppet and peanut fell to the floor with a thud. He shook his head and sat there, resisting the urge to pounce upon Temari. He began giggling when he imagined the look on Jeff's face if he were there.

"Well?" Gaara was staring intently at Kankuro.

"What?"

"Are you going to take a look at him or not?" Gaara growled. Kankuro gulped.

"Y-yes Gaara."

Deidara's Impatience

Deidara was not happy. He had been called a woman and a hermaphrodite within a minute of each other and now he was stuck with the task of keeping an eye on this skeleton of a botched suicide mission. Just as Sasori suggested, Achmed was now attempting to get Deidara to talk about his explosives. Deidara on the other hand, had no desire whatsoever to exchange notes about bombing techniques with the dead terrorist.

Sasori was content that now someone else was keeping Deidara busy while he was trying to think. He was trying to figure out how exactly to go about dissecting Achmed.

"WILL YOU SHUT UP?" Deidara finally snapped at Achmed.

"No. Not until I get my 72 virgins and information about this group called Akatsuki. What are your goals?"

"If it will shut you the hell up, un. No idea. I was forced to join by a complete and total asshole."

"Hmm, interesting recruiting technique. We use the suicide hotline." Achmed laughed evilly. "That was dark, no?"

"You said you'd shut up, yeah!" Deidara spat.

"I still don't have my virgins." Achmed reminded him.

"What is up with you and the virgins anyways?" The fully intact bomber asked.

"Osama told us that if we sacrifice ourselves, there will be 72 virgins waiting for us in paradise!" Achmed explained happily. Deidara laughed. "SILENCE! I KILL YOU!" Achmed snarled.

"Psht, yeah. I'd like to see you try. Un." Deidara chuckled.

"ARGH!" Achmed attempted to leap upon Deidara, who merely sidestepped him.

"If you can beat me up before we get to the hideout, I'll give you more information on Akatsuki." Deidara offered, knowing that Achmed would be unsuccessful. The rest of the journey consisted of Achmed attempting to catch Deidara off guard and Sasori yelling at the two to shut up occasionally.

Sasori could not wait to get back to his workshop where there was peace and quiet and no annoying bombers. Just him and his puppets. He sighed wistfully. The two behind him whoever, were not very aware of moods, were arguing about art and explosions. "SHUT UP!" Sasori screamed.

"SILENCE! I KILL YOU!" Achmed replied. Sasori promptly attached chakra stings to Achmed and held his jaw shut. "I said. Shut. UP." He snarled. Achmed merely send a death glare at him. Sasori kept the dead terrorist bound like that the rest of the way, incredibly pissed off that his plans for peace and quiet had backfired on him. Deidara, on the other hand, was now satisfied. Achmed, was silently planning revenge on the two Akatsuki members. Oh they were going to pay quite dearly. There wouldn't even be enough left of them to run over with a blue Prius. He laughed an evil laugh through his closed mouth, causing the other two to glance nervously down at the skeleton.

"We're here, un." Deidara commented as they looked up at the huge boulder. "Finally."

Reviews? It wasn't as funny as the last chapter, but whatever. Things will get very, very chaotic next chapter, trust me.

Peanut: -giggle-

Melvin: I shall come to the rescue!

Me: Not yet.

Melvin: What?!

Me: Later, you will show up.

Melvin: Yay! I shall get my costume cleaned!

Walter: Dumbass…