Kain Fuery woke with a start. He had been assigned to work with the Fullmetal Alchemist while trying to repair the radio relay in a civil war zone. He did the technical repairs while Ed worked to restore the damaged units from the outside. The flat they resided in was cozy enough. Kain had the master bed, while Ed graciously volunteered to take the couch. Fuery didn't like war, and every little noise startled him. He woke to the sound of the washing machine buzzing to a halt. He let his head fall back to the pillow and cursed himself for his uptight demeanor. He grabbed his glasses and glanced at the wall clock.

3 am? Why was Ed doing laundry this early? Didn't he love to sleep? Fuery asked himself. He forced himself out of bed and glanced into the hallway. There was light coming from under the laundry room door. He almost opened it, when he saw his roommate moving in the living room. He cautiously walked into the room where he saw Ed scrubbing one of the couch cushions furiously. He flicked on the light and Ed yelped in surprise. He spun around and held the sponge behind his back. His eyes were wide in absolute horror. Kain pinched the bridge of his nose in exhaustion.

"Sir, what are you doing up so early, and why were you doing laundry?" He released his nose and readjusted his glasses. Ed kicked the sponge under the couch and sat where he was scrubbing. Fuery could almost see the gears turning in the boy's head as he tried to come up with an explanation.

"Oh, sorry. Did I wake you? I just couldn't sleep. The sheets…were, uh, itchy. So I washed them. Oh, this cushion smelled bad. Like, really bad, so I'm trying to scrub it. You can go back to bed, Sergeant." He almost begged. The confused techie tried to comprehend the boy's actions. He began to wonder what the kid was on to get him to obsess over some "smelly" cushions. He glanced at the boy and he noticed he had a bathrobe wrapped tightly around him. He had on a tank top and a pair of shorts, so why would he be so modest as to wear a robe? A realization hit him and he almost tackled Ed as he checked for wounds.

"Sir, are you bleeding? Are you hurt? What happened?" he demanded as he checked Ed's arms and head much to the boy's disapproval.

"Ghaa! Fuery, get off me! I'm fine! Go back to bed!" Ed pleaded trying to get the man to let the conversation go. Fuery stood and tried to figure out what was wrong. He gave in to the boy's requests and got a glass of water before trotting back to his room. His head hit the pillow for a second when he finally realized what the problem was. He felt like such an idiot for not realizing it before. Ed was growing up, so changing sheets on top of embarrassment must add up to…

Fuery walked into the hallway again and saw Ed trying to get back into his clean sheets. Ed looked uncomfortable and embarrassed. Even more so, when he noticed the Master Sergeant enter again.

"Sir, you don't want to get back in bed quite yet." He stated politely. Ed drew his robe around himself again.

"And why not, Fuery?"

"I'm pretty sure you want to wash those shorts first." He said matter-of-factly. Ed blushed furiously. His secret was discovered. He tried desperately to find an escape. However, none came to mind. Defeated, Ed mumbled something that Kain barely heard.

"I haven't done that since I was five."

Kain had a lot of sympathy for the kid. He was a boy once. He knew the hardship. It was up to him to explain this to him.

"You didn't have an accident, Ed. That was a…nocturnal emission. It happens to boys your age. It won't happen forever." Ed looked up at the man who was trying to help him. There was a little voice in the back of his head demanding Ed to ask more questions, despite everything else telling him to run. As much as he wanted to do the latter, he was curious.

"It happened to you, too?" Kain looked up, surprised that Ed was actually asking him a question.

"Nope." The man flinched. Cursing himself for saying that, knowing what the boy was going to ask next.

"No? Why not?" Ed asked, worried that what happened to him was abnormal. Fuery fussed with his glasses anxiously. How was he going to say this?

"I did something…a lot…that prevented it…um…" He trailed off, hoping Edward wouldn't keep prying.

"What?"

Kain sighed. He had to do this. Of all people, Ed was asking HIM how to prevent wet dreams? He didn't have any experience giving kids advice on things like this! Kain dashed over the book shelf and flipped through the dictionary. He found what he was looking for in the "M" section and handed it to Ed, pointing out the word. Ed followed the finger and started to read the word aloud.

"Masturba-" He started, but stopped cold after reading the definition. He looked up at the man who had his back turned to him. Ed could only stir in his own thoughts at what this man had just suggested.

I have to do THIS for that not to happen anymore? What? This definition doesn't really help. 'To manually stimulate…' What? Ed looked at the man again to see him trying to smile.

"Um…everyone does that, Ed. Trust me; anyone who says they don't is a liar." Kain was still blushing. Ed closed the book and thought for a moment.

"Um…what do you do…when you…um…" Ed asked bashfully. It wasn't HIS fault he was ignorant. Trisha Elric died years ago, and Hoenheim was out of the picture, so who could he ask?

"It's not really something that's taught, Ed. You just have to figure out what…feels…good."

"So it doesn't hurt?" Ed innocently asked. Kain only laughed in response. Kain went back to bed feeling good about helping Ed with his problem. He was happy that the boy trusted him enough to ask him these ridiculously awkward but normal questions.

Kain woke the next morning to discover Ed in a particularly relaxed mood; like all the stress had been lifted…over…night…oh. Kain made a note to himself to knock before he went into a room that Ed was alone in.