Plot outline: Crossover fic

Plot outline: Crossover fic. Jeff Dunham and Puppets are thrown into the Naruto-verse via magical swirly portal in a parking lot. When the puppets come to life due to the portal's magic and scattered throughout the Naruto world, Jeff has to find all of them before all hell breaks loose. But then again, with this bunch, that's not gonna happen.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Jeff Dunham and company

Alas! For I have found time to update. Huzzah! See? I told you this wouldn't rot in the pit.

Walter: You're still a lying bitch.

Me: Shut up!

Achmed: SILENCE! I keel you both!

Me: I'd like to see you try. Have a squirrel. By the way, I changed my penname. It was bugging me. D

Chapter Nine: the insanity strikes back

Death by chocolate

Deidara and Fi walked down the hallway in search of Fi's candy stash. The young maid had tried several places where she thought she had put it, but none were correct. Needless to say, the bomber was getting impatient. "Can't you remember?"

"Um, wait. Yes! Now I remember where it was." The girl nervously took off down the hallway with the blonde terrorist on her heels. She bent over a ledge and pulled out a bag. "Found it!" She gave a scared grin.

"Why here, un?" He looked around. There wasn't anything distinguishing it from any other hallway in the hideout.

"Tobi-sama doesn't go near Itachi-sama. His room is right there." She pointed at a door a few feet away.

Deidara scowled at the door. God he hated Itachi. Fi held out the bag to him. He took it and dug through it. Just as she had said, Tobi had gone through most of the good stuff. Deidara settled for a chocolate bar. "By the way, I need you to fix something of mine." Deidara said through a mouthful of the chocolate. Deidara started walking away. "Bring that with you." He called over his shoulder. She hurried after him.

Achmed, sensing his time was limited, broke into Deidara's room and hid himself in the closet to watch the action. "This is going to be good." He giggled.

"It's a pair of my pants. They ripped down the seam on my ass when I fell down the stairs, un."

"How did you manage that? The rip I mean."

"They caught on a nail on my way down. Yeah."

Two voices came from out side the door, one belonging to Deidara, the other one Achmed didn't recognize. The skeleton began snickering. He had the box of Sasori's supplies with him. The suicide bomber had contained the termites in a metal box he had found; he still needed a ferret though. A sound of a key in a lock scraped and the doorknob opened. There was a scream from outside. 'But that was not the sound of infidel Blondie.' Achmed thought, puzzled.

A stream of swear words ran out of Deidara's mouth as he pulled the maid back from the door when the heavy battle axe swung at them. Luckily, Deidara knew something was up when he realized his door was already unlocked when he tried to unlock it and was somewhat expecting it. Fi was shaking from the encounter with the weapon, and also red as hell from the fact that Deidara still was touching her. Deidara let go of the young maid as he grabbed the battle axe, pulled it down and entered his room. He raised an eyebrow at the traps around the room, feeling somewhat insulted. He may be blonde, but he was still a ninja after all.

He heard something move in the closet and opened it. "Greetings…still intact infidel." The skeleton grumbled. "Infidel Sasori locked me in here." He lied quickly.

Fi looked in. "Deidara-sama?" Deidara ignored her as he grabbed the skeleton by the beard and dragged him out into the hall. Fi stared.

"Oh, hello slave of the wrinkly old bitch." Achmed greeted.

"Excuse me?"

Fi felt a bit daring, considering the failed bomber had nearly killed her. She normally would have paid very dearly for the disrespect if it were another member, namely Hidan-sama, Kazuku-sama, Itachi-sama, Pein-sama or Konan-sama. Sasori-sama, maybe. Koko baa-chan definately. "I'll be back, un." He said darkly to Fi as he continued down the hall dragging the puppet.

"GERROFF! I WILL DEFINATELY KEEL YOU NEXT TIME! YOU HEAR ME? I KEEL YOU!"

Fi looked at the pair and wondered why Deidara-sama was heading towards Itachi-sama's room.

Walter frustrated.

Jeff walked into the gates of Konoha with the group and Peanut. The woozle had fallen asleep somewhere on the outskirts of the desert, thankfully. 'Now where did Walter get off to?' Jeff thought. He would really have liked to keep the group together so that he didn't lose one all over again.

Naruto sat down eagerly as Walter grumbled and was trying to think of what to say to the dumbass. "I really shouldn't tell you anything, ya dumbass." He growled at the ninja.

"Would you rather be back with them?"

"OK, ok. Let's not get too hasty." This sudden spark of genius unnerved Walter. "Look, be nice to her."

Naruto stared blankly. "Is that all?"

"Yep."

"You're lying old fart!"

"No I'm not. Look at my wife. Still attempting to be nice to her after all these years. She's bitch but she's my wife. Who won't die…" He added under his breath. The puppet glared at Naruto as if the nin.

"So just be nice to her?"

"Yes." The old man repeated, quite irritated.

"How?" The old man nearly bashed his head in.

"YOU ARE CLUELESS!" He screamed. "HOLD THE DOOR OPEN FOR HER. COMPLIMENT HER. SPEND TIME WITH HER!" Walter yelled at the young man. Naruto still stared blankly at him. "ARGH!" Walter began slamming his head into a tree.

"Naruto!"

"Iruka-sensei!" Naruto's face lit up as he saw his old sensei jogging towards him.

"Tsunade-sama wants to see you and the old man."

Tsunade's problems

Tsunade looked over the three in the room. The boy, Victor, seemed to be adjusting. Slowly, but surely. The Hokage sighed. Such a pity this kid was so traumatized. "Tsunade-sama. We've returned." Shizune tugged on the Hokage's sleeve.

"Alright. I would like you to inform Jeff-san that we've found two more of his puppets." "Hai, Tsunade-sama." Shizune took off.

Tsunade sighed and walked into the room. Immediately, the trashy puppet whistled. The one in spandex cuffed him. "Don't be a pervert Beer-Boy." Tsunade chose to ignore this.

"They have returned. Please follow me. Don't get lost." Victor got up and followed. Hopefully Mr. Dunham would have some idea on how to go home. The puppets trailed after the teenager, bickering about names. Tsunade led them across town, earning them many stares. Victor, who was self conscious, quickened his pace so that he was side by side with the woman.

Jeff waited in the office. Some young guy had gone off looking for the blonde shinobi and Walter. He nervously tapped his fingers on his knees. "Wassamatter Jefafa?" Peanut asked, the sugar high worn off.

"We're waiting."

"For who?"

"Walter."

Peanut froze. "NOT WALTER!! ANYBODY BUT WALTER!! ACHMED TOLD ME ABOUT THE GAS!" Peanut screamed, also trembling. Jeff rolled his eyes.

"Oh God, I hear that crackhead." An irritable voice snarled from outside the door.

"TOO LATE!" Peanut sobbed. The door opened.

"Well look who it is, Tweedle dee, Tweedle dumb and Tweedle Dumbass in one room." Walter smirked at he glanced at Jeff, Peanut and Naruto, respectively.

"EH?!" Naruto yelled. "WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY OLD MAN?!"

"Yep, Tweedle Dumbass." Walter confirmed.

"Is there a partay goin on een ere?" A southern voice drawled.

Jeff looked up to see Tsunade, a teenager and Melvin and Bubba J. "What are you two doing here?" He got up and knelt down before them.

"Dunno. But we're here!" Melvin beamed.

"H-hi Mr. Dunham." The teen said shakily.

"You look familiar. Who are you again?"

"I helped you carry cases out to the car. I work at the theatre." The kid said nervously. "I'm Victor."

Jeff nodded. "Ok."

Kabuto's sanity.

Kabuto laid down in his bed, having just taken 3 pills. He waited for the merciful sleep. "Kabuto!" A voice hissed. Kabuto screamed into his pillow before regaining his composure.

"Yes, Orochimaru-sama?"

"What did you do with Sasuke-kun?" The snake man tilted his head to the side, confused.

"He's in with Suigetsu." Kabuto grumbled, rolling over.

"I want him out of there! My container will not catch pneumonia from your carelessness!" Orochimaru snarled.

"THEN GET HIM THE HELL OUT YOURSELF!" Kabuto snarled back. Orochimaru was quite taken aback at Kabuto's outburst. "AND ANOTHER THING-" It was then the pills kicked in and Kabuto fell back, unconscious. Orochimaru stared a moment before turning and deciding it was best not to say anything.

José hopped along the hall. He had seen the crazy man-bitch drag Señor Sasuke down this way. "I'm coming Señor! On a stick!" He yelled. The Cock-a-roach had just stared at him, then scuttled away.

José finally made it into the room where a large tank of water sat. the water then condensed into the form of a shark boy. "What you in for?" He asked Sasuke dully.

"A Talking Puerto Rican Jalapeño. On A stick." Sasuke answered.

"Señor! I have come to help you get away from the psycho man-bitch." José panted.

"That the Jalapeño?" Suigetsu asked.

"Unfortunately." Sasuke replied. "Can you get us out of here?"

" Not without difficulty Señor Sasuke."

"I…could help?" A clicking noise issued from around the corner.

"OH MY GOD! THAT'S A HUGE COCKROACH!" Suigetsu screamed.

The cock-a-roach hung its head, while on the stick. "I…was just…trying to help…I just wanted…to be...amigos." It said tearfully in a Spanish accent.

"Now look, you've hurt its feelings!" Suigetsu scolded as he slapped Sasuke upside the head.

"Me? You were the one…nevermind." He growled. He couldn't believe now he was relying on a damn Jalapeño to get him out of this mess. On a Stick.

Reviews? Once again, sorry for taking a bit. It was a bit harder to write this I think. I'm getting to the point where I have to now figure out how to get Jeff to find out where the hell José and Achmed are. Suggestions? You guys are the ones reading the story, I think you deserve SOME say in this. Next time: What exactly does Deidara plan on doing to Achmed and what does Itachi have to do with it? Will Gaara ever get his cookies? Will Victor have to go to therapy for ten year to recover? Find out next time in Pisses Me Off.