"Hate on me, haters! Sooner or later…" My cell phone wailed, so I answered quickly.

"Mercedes, you are never going to guess what happened to me today!" I exclaimed.

"Oh, no, you do NOT get to go first. I called YOU!"

I sighed. "Fine. What happened to you?" I asked, unable to feign enthusiasm.

"Ms. Rachel Berry tried to give me a apology or a pep-talk or something!"

"SHUT UP! Me, too!"

"No!"

"Yes! She said she was concerned that her confidence had somehow been detrimental to my…something. I got distracted by her outfit and stopped listening. When I gave her that makeover on Quinn's behalf, I managed to throw away the most heinous items in her wardrobe, but she could still do so much better."

Honestly. Skinny jeans are the height of fashion right now, but few women have the legs to look good in them. Rachel does, yet fails to take advantage of the fact. It's almost criminal.

"Kurt, FOCUS!" Mercedes shouted. (I wonder how much I missed.) "Rachel gave me the same speech."

"And here I thought I was special," I said. "Do you think she gave it to everyone?"

"I think she just gave it to us divas."

"'Cedes, you don't think…"

"What?"

"Well…why don't we like Rachel?"

"She's rude, bossy, thinks she's the best at everything, has a loud mouth, and wears weird clothes."

"Right. Well if you replaced 'wears weird clothes' with 'has impeccable fashion sense…'"

"Don't say it, Kurt!"

"Rachel is us, but with an inferior wardrobe and more confidence."

"So you're saying we're just…jealous?"

"Actually, I was trying not to say it."

"What, you think we should apologize?"

"Oh, god, no. I think we should step up our game and bond, diva-style, a la Lady Marmalade."

"You know that bitch is going to want to be Christina," Mercedes said.

"We all want to be Christina. That's the point."

Mercedes was quiet for a while. "Do you think I should apologize to Finn?" she finally asked.

"For what?" I wondered.

"I told Puck not to tell him the truth."

"I never completely understood that."

"Because some girls stay with awful guys just because they get pregnant. I didn't want that to happen to Quinn. I knew Finn could handle it. He loves Quinn and the baby; you can tell. That's why he's so upset! Since this came out, though, I looked at it from the other side. She didn't give him the choice—him or Puck."

"I think apologizing to Finn right now might stir things up and cause more harm than good. Actually, if you should apologize to anyone, maybe it's Puck," I told her.

"Speaking of Puck, have you heard the rumors about him and Rachel?"

"Heard them? Girl, I've told them. Of course, we know he didn't tell Rachel about being the baby daddy, but did you see them at Sectionals?" I asked.

"I saw her smiling and laughing, first with Finn and later with Puck. How the hell did she manage that?"

"I know! Not only was neither one mad at her, but I think they were both flirting with her."

"So you thought so, too?"

"Yes. Were you as baffled as I was? I mean, who knew you could lure straight boys by singing Streisand? Hmm…perhaps there's hope for me with Finn, after all."

"Oh, sweetie, no. Longing for someone who plays for the other team? That's a recipe for heartbreak—I should know. And you know how bad crying is for your skin."

I sighed. "I know, 'Cedes, but it's 2010. Shouldn't McKinley have a few more hot gays running around?"

"Sweetie, you just managed to come out, and you're a musical-theater-loving diva. It's high school in Ohio. The other hot gays are probably trying to work up the courage as we speak. You know, you're probably helping."

"Me? How?"

"Well, you're out and on the football team, and the guys don't care."

"Well, some of them acted a little weird in the showers, especially at first, but most of them got over it."

"Exactly. Oh, and Kurt?"

"Yeah?"

"The ones who couldn't 'get over it?' If you have to crush on anyone, crush on them."

"You think it's a gay-panic, protest-too-much situation?"

"You know it! Be careful, though. Some of those guys—when they get scared, they can get violent."

"Sometimes it sucks, Mercedes."

"I know."

"I'm not saying I would want to be…that I wouldn't…"

"Of course not…"

"But it's scary sometimes, when people can't see you. Or when they do, and they don't like what they see."

"Kurt, it's not you they don't like. It's the face staring back at them in the mirror."

If anyone would understand, I thought it would be Mercedes, but I guess she doesn't get it either. They hate what they see in the mirror, but they hate the mirror, too.

I'm tired of being the mirror.