Plot outline: Crossover fic. Jeff Dunham and Puppets are thrown into the Naruto-verse via magical swirly portal in a parking lot. When the puppets come to life due to the portal's magic and scattered throughout the Naruto world, Jeff has to find all of them before all hell breaks loose. But then again, with this bunch, that's not gonna happen.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Jeff Dunham and company Or Charlie the Unicorn. You will see why in a minute.

A bit of warning, next chapter will be delayed for a while. Weddings, Graduations and Birthdays oh my.

Attempting to take love advice from a puppet

Naruto walked through the streets of Konoha. He was on a mission of his own. Operation Stop weird girl from fainting. "KIBA!" Naruto yelled as he spotted an Inuzuka coat and dog. A woman turned around. "Oh, hehe, sorry ma'am." Naruto said sheepishly.

"If you're looking for my son, he's at the vets. Both him and Akamaru are getting a flea bath." The woman snapped and she continued walking.

Naruto then realized the dog was really some sort of wolf and didn't look a thing like Akamaru. "Watch yourself kid." It growled at him. Naruto shuddered and quickly headed over to the Konoha Veterinarian Clinic.

"Hana!"

Naruto cheered as he saw Kiba's older sister come out from the back.

"Hello Naruto." She groaned. Just what she needed, a hyperactive ninja setting off all the animals.

"Where's Kiba?"

"Getting dried off. Why?" She asked suspiciously.

"Can you ask him if he knows where Hinata might be?"

Hana raised an eyebrow. The knucklehead wanted to find Hinata? Bad idea. "I'll ask."

Hana walked in the back to see her little brother wrinkling his nose at the towel in his hand. "Naruto's here. He wants to know if you know where Hinata is."

"How should I know?" He snapped. "It's not my day to watch her." He finished sarcastically. Hana rolled her eyes as she walked back out.

"Sorry Naruto. He doesn't know." Naruto hung his head.

"Thanks anyways." He eyed the barrel of dog treats. "Ooh, cookies!" He snatched one and took off.

"NARUTO! THAT'S NOT A…cookie." She sighed as the door slammed.

Naruto tried everywhere. Finally, he had no choice. He really didn't want to go to the Hyuuga complex. Neji might be there. He really didn't like Neji.

He finally got up the guts to go and knock on the door. "May I help you?" A maid answered the door.

"Is Hinata-chan home?"

The maid narrowed her eyes. The demon boy was most likely not welcome here.

"No." She slammed the door in his face.

"Bitch." Naruto mumbled as he walked away.

Insanity. On a Stick. Part 2

Sasuke and Suigetsu listened to the cock-a-roach's plan. They sounded reasonable. José on the other hand, didn't really like the sounds of them.

"Señor Cock-a-roach, that would not be possible with our situations. On sticks."

The Cock-a-roach looked thoughtful. "That is true, Señor José." It admitted.

"My suggestion is…"

José whispered the plan to the cock-a-roach. On a stick.

"Oh Si. Si. That sounds good." Sasuke and Suigetsu looked at each other as the two puppets on sticks began laughing evilly.

After a good, long length of unconsciousness, Kabuto finally began waking up. His head was pounding. "Ugh." He then remembered what he said to Lord Orochimaru. His ass was as good as dead. He started to sit up and reached for his glasses, Kabuto figured he'd need at least two more nights of uninterrupted sleep to fully recover. As he put them on, he yelled in shock. There sat on his bed a green Jalapeño and a large cockroach. On sticks.

"El hombre con el sombrero nos ha enviado!" The cockroach squealed. "Él nos contó muchas historias increíbles!"

Kabuto blinked, rubbed his eyes and shook his head. Still there.

"Esta noche cenar a las tortugas!" The Jalapeño started. "Así que bueno, se!"

Kabuto began shaking.

"Me siento feliz!" They both said together.

Kabuto screamed. "Orochimaru-Sama!!" Kabuto took off down the hallway in his boxers.

"Too much?" The Cock-a-Roach asked.

"No. The little bastard deserved it. He called me Mexican, you know." The cock-a-roach grabbed the key Kabuto had left behind in his attempt to escape the spanish speaking puppets. On sticks. "Vamos."

Sasori's Lament

Sasori sighed as he looked at the 3rd. He had installed all the parts he had laying around. He wasn't even sure if there was any more room left in the puppet to install anything else. He vaguely considered going into the lower ranks of the Akatsuki and make some more puppets, but figured Pein wouldn't like it if he killed anymore recruits. Wait. He looked around for his other tool box. Why couldn't he find it? Achmed. He thought immeaditly. He thought the puppet was antsy to get out of Sasori's room. Sasori growled and threw on his cloak as he went to stalk the halls for Achmed.

Along the way, he ran into Fi shivering outside of Deidara's room. "Have you seen a talking skeleton anywhere?"

"H-hai, Sasori-sama." Fi replied. "Deidara-sama was dragging him in the direction of Itachi-sama's quarters."

"Thank you." He slipped her a piece of hard candy. "Don't mention that." He stalked off in the direction leaving the maid behind in confusion.

Deidara banged on Itachi's door. Inside. Itachi growled. Who the hell was it now? If it was Madara…He opened the door to only have something thrown at him immeaditly and was disoriented as he tried to pull it off. The thing was yelling things in Arabic and trying to claw his eyes out.

Itachi threw it down. "Who are you?" He seethed.

"Greetings Infidel. I am Achmed, A new recruit in your terrifying ranks of…terror." Achmed laughed a terrifying laugh. "And may I ask your name madame of terror?"

Achmed was answered by his world suddenly turning black and red.

"Well Allah dammit."

Suggestions from a crackhead.

Jeff sat with his four puppets, Victor, Tsunade and the village council. They were currently trying to figure out how exactly to locate the two missing puppets. No one could come up with anything. "We just have to keep an eye and ear out for any unusual reports." Tsunade concluded.

"Wellllll." Peanut started.

"What?" All eyes turned on him.

"I have a very deep telepathic connection with The Jalapeño."

"No you don't." Jeff answered.

"Damn. But anyways, it seems as if we are stuck in places we wouldn't want to be." Peanut continued. Jeff was struck at how logical the woozle was being. "José hates anything big and weird. Like the Cock-a-roach. On a steeck." He imitated José's accent.

"Peanut…I didn't think you could be that intelligent." Jeff marveled.

Walter snorted. "Hey! Don't you insult me you old fart!" Peanut snapped. "You're just jealous cuz Jefafa likes me more!" Peanut stuck his tongue out at Walter. "Ooh, look, shiny thing." Peanut noticed Bubba's beer can which was acquired out of nowhere.

"Crackhead." Walter muttered.

"Peanut does have a point, Tsunade-sama." Jeff started. "I landed on a flower shop when I'm allergic, Walter got stuck with an idiot, and Peanut got stuck somewhere boring. I don't know about these three."

He glanced at Victor, Melvin and Bubba. "I don't want to be here period." Victor muttered.

"There's only one place I can think of that matches the description given by your puppet, Jeff-san." Tsunade began.

I know it was short, but the next one will be longer, I promise! And yes, I did take the Spanish dialogue from the new Charlie the Unicorn video. Hehe…

Walter- Stealing Bitch…

Me- Hey! I wrote it in the disclaimer! Now give the nice readers the message.

Walter- You're still a stealing bitch.

Me- Walter, have you met Team Gai?

Walter- You wouldn't.

Me- I would.

Walter- -grumble- Review Dammit. There. Happy?