Teenage Dream

by Lucy Samb

You/ Darren Criss fanfic. The story is about your life with Darren in high school, college and professional life among friendship,love,fights,comings and goings and how you both go through serious stuff such as bullying,suicide,discrimination and life itself. It starts when you meet Darren, a guy of your school in St. Ignatius College Preparatory who never noticed you, a loser.

46. Debating

A/N: Hello everybody! How are you doing today? I bet you are checking the new Darren's songs. I listened to some of them and they are totally awesome! I loved them! Well, maybe I'd admit there's one I didn't like so much, but it's just my crazy mind. What do you think? I think Once Upon A Time became one of my favorites; of course Not Alone will always be my favorite one because it means a lot to me. Which one was your favorite? Now that I shared my excitement, let's get back to the story. Umm, what can I say? I'm super happy that you liked Mr. Fluffy, it was a random idea I had and I thought it could be cute, because sometimes I can be cute and sweet and all cheesy, right? And I'm happy that you appreciated the Starkid references; of course someday I'll write about them doing AVPM for the first time, but remember we're still in 2006. Then... Chuck! Chuck is back! But let's see what happens, because apparently he wasn't so happy to see Freckles because Darren didn't explain him anything. What else? Umm, W... Yeah, well, W won't appear so often and W may or may not appear in person again, that's a secret. Oh yes! I almost forget... I'm very glad that you liked seeing how now Darren, Freckles, Joey and Brian seem to get along and be friends; maybe it'll last or maybe not; probably yes, but my mind is crazy and its opinion can change in any second. So, I think that's it all. Ah, yes! I had a pretty amazing birthday because my parents gave me a huge, very huge chocolate cake; it was pure chocolate, so you can picture how excited and happy as a bunny I was. Well, enough about me. I'll start answering your reviews!

amritsoomal: Aww! I really hoped you could like the last chapter. That time I wanted to write something funny and also something sweet, hence why the Starkid/Harry Potter references and Mr. Fluffy. Yes, Darren needed to get over her, so maybe they can start again! I thought it could be interesting writing about Darren rejecting her, because it was always Freckles the one who rejected him and that was kind of unfair, right? Anyway, I think they'll have a lot of ups and downs and comings and goings. Oh, I'm glad you're fine with Brian now! Yes, I always wanted to make them be friends, but I could make them be friends since the beginning because Darren didn't know him too much and well, remember that Brian was part of the Team W, even if he was forced to be there and even if he was also being bullied. Brian can have Freckles now? Well, you really changed your mind. Well, yes, Brian will get Freckles, but as best friend and Freckles, as a best friend, will give him the happiness he deserves; or not, I don't know! Actually i know but I won't give it away. Chuck! Aww, I missed him too, so I wanted to bring him back! Oh, uh! How would Chuck act around Freckles? Aww! I'll send you virtual pancakes and a teddy bear. Does it count? Now, Joey's hook up? You really wanna know? Okay, I'll give you a clue based on your suspicions: They all will be a happy family. With this, you'll surely know who it was. Your theory about Jim getting a plastic surgery to become the teacher is completely and absolutely amazing! Seriously, I wonder why I don't have such imagination! But... Umm, it's something almost similar. Thank you very much for you blessing! I did have a really good birthday! And now that you mentioned it, I don't feel so bad about my age. I obviously prefer 23 Darren Criss! haha, oh lord, that would be epic!

Guest: Yes! I really wanted to write about Harry Potter and Starkid, because after all I'm a fan like you! I think it was something funny to add to the story, we needed funny things. And just because I'm a fan, I'll definitely write about the musical. I noticed you mentioned several times 'find'. Oh my god! Are you a Hufflepuff? Now I find it very interesting! haha. About Darren and Brian being friends, I always wanted to write that, but we needed time because they couldn't become friends all of a sudden; first something needed to happen, and this thing of W helped them to get closer. The same happened to Freckles, except from that awkward moment as you said; but I they'll be friends, only that not like any common friend. I'm very glad you liked Mr. Fluffy! I loved it! I mean, it was very cheesy, but I swear that if someone does that for me, I'd die because it's cute. Yes, I know, poor Brian; but he's also somehow guilty; because he could tell her his feelings, but he doesn't do that, so he has to deal with his decisions, this is what he wanted somehow. Wow, I don't wanna be rude on Brian. Yes, he is very nice. He will be happy someday, promise. However, maybe he's not gonna get another love interest, but there's gonna be a person who's gonna help him to get over Freckles and of course it'll take a long because he's deeply in love with her; but that person will help him a lot. Oh, I don't think Freckles would ever figure out by herself that everything that Brian says is meant in another way; she was always oblivious to other people's feelings. And thank you a lot for giving me a virtual piece of your strawberry rhubarb cake and the virtual chocolate cake! That's what I call fucking delicious!

Emma: Yes! Soon (we're still in 2006) they'll perform AVPM for the very first time! I need to write about it, right? I mean, it's about the Team Starkid! I'm a huge fan, as you surely are! Yes, Chuck is back! I wanted to bring him back because... well, because it's Chuck and I like him! Aww, I'm glad you fele special and happy because of that! And I'm glad I did help you somehow! That's the attitude, you can do that! Oh my wizard god! You got accepted to Julliard! Oh jeez! Are you serious? It's freaking Julliard! You know, I don't know so much about Universities there, but Julliard... Everyone in the world knows about Julliard because Julliard is the most awesome performing arts conservatory! You really, but really, need to go there! Don't let go this one chance you have! You said it; they only accept 20 freshmans each term. Hey, I'm sure your boyfriend will understand; I mean, he needs to know how important this is for you; so if he loves you he will understand; yeah, I won't deny it'll be hard, but he should understand. I don't wanna meddle so much about that, because I'm afraid to say something inappropriate. You just have to go to Julliard; this is a really amazing opportunity you have. I mean, come on! Do you have any idea of how many people want to get accepted to Julliard? Okay, I think I'm very excited for you and I probably shouldn't be telling you what you should do! It's all up to you, it's you decision; but for what you said I think you want to go there. Whoa! I'm totally rambling; that's what happens to me when I get excited about something. And I like you too, so of course I care, because I love talking to people and I love when people talk to me and tell me things! Now about the concert, I swear I was going to ask you, because I thought about you, it's like you can read my mind! I was almost sure that the concert was going to be epic! I listened to some songs and I like them! Of course it's not the same to listen to them from your computer with a crappy quality than to listen to them live; because even the atmosphere is different, besides the fact that you were there, seeing him and listening to all the comments he always says in his concerts. I'm so glad for you! I'm glad that you got that chance and that you enjoyed it! And thank you a lot for thinking about me and letting me know! That was really nice :)

Vcriss: Wanna know a secret? I want to see Darren and Freckles together again! However, I think the part in which they're friends, but they flirt at the same time and they have comings and goings it's the most interesting part. I mean, it'd be boring if they get back together very soon, they first need to flirt a lot, because I like when they flirt! It's like writing about them falling in love again; like the process can be very interesting, maybe. And maybe, after all of this progress, they'll be even more passionate and adorable as a couple; with new things involved; because let's remember they don't live with their parents now! So that's gonna be different. And about Freckles feeling lonely; I think she first needs to know how to be alone and not feel lonely, she still needs to learn that before getting a new boyfriend, or a significant other, or friend with benefits, or any other kind of relationship.

Vicky: Thank you a lot for wishing me a happy birthday! I really did have a very good one, not big deal, but I was surrounded by family and friends and I can't ask for more! I'm really glad I made you laugh, more considering that you needed that! I'm also, obviously, very glad to know that it was one of your favorites; although it had a bit of drama, it was more sweet and funny, so I liked it too, we needed something like that. Oh yeah, they will do the musical! Not yet because we're in 2006; but I'll write about it because I'm a fan of AVPM, after all. I'm just a little bit afraid to write something terrible and screw it up, but I'll take the risk! I must admit that I enjoy writing about Brian, Darren, Freckles and Joey being friends; it's like I like them as a group of friends, they'll have a lot of moments together; hopefully it'll last! It's weird that Darren and Brian are friends, isn't it? I mean, after all that happened in high school and how they couldn't stand each other... Yet, I think they could become good friends. Sometimes, in real life, those people you didn't like in your past become your friends and those people who were your friends in your past become just acquaintances. Yes, I agree with you about Freckles: it's understandable why she did what she did, yet Brian was right about the things he told her; she needed to hear that; thing is whether she's gonna be able to get that or not. Yes, Brian is trying to tell her how he feels about her, but Freckles is oblivious to that, therefore Brian cowers and says something different; maybe he's not ready yet because he can clearly tell she doesn't feel the same way he does and that's awkward. Aww, I loved Mr. Fluffy; I mean, that was a random idea once I had and I thought it could be cool to add it to the story; besides, I didn't want Freckles to apologize in a conventional way, so Mr. Fluffy was a good excuse! haha. Yes, Chuck is back and I like that because it's Chuck! And I agree with you, Darren made a bad decision, he totally should've told him about Freckles. Oh yeah, maybe the situation between Chuck and Freckles will be a bit awkward and let's see how long it takes Chuck to understand everything for real or what kind of thing is gonna happen to finally make him see how things are; everything won't happen in only one chapter. You're the first one who asked about Chuck and Brian; you'll get your answers in this chapter; but yes, Chuck never talked to Brian before but he knows about his existence since Brian was part of the Team W. So, if I tell you that you have this ability and your friends tell you the same, it's because you... You're a real witch! And that's totally awesome! It must be very cool to have that ability to guess a lot of things! And don't you dare to apologize for long reviews! I love them!

MeMi83: Dun, dun, dun! You're right! Ah the plot twists! They're my favorite next to the cliffhangers! Unfortunately I kinda lost my ability with cliffhangers; therefore I have to resort to the plot twists! Oh yes, as you said, things were going too merrily and something needed to happen; I guess in part I do this because I'm not good at making something interesting when everything is good and sweet and very quiet and cheery. I have the action and drama in my veins; and I'm highly influenced by drama movies or thriller books. Oh yes! I wanted Freckles to apologize in an unusual way, I didn't want to make it be conventional; after all, Freckles is a creative person and I wanted to show that. So, Mr. Fluffy appeared and I don't know how I came with that idea, but I'm satisfied with it! I mean, I'd love if someone ever does that for me, wouldn't you love it too? Ah! Because Freckles was never good at noticing other people's feelings; I guess she is still not used to guys having deep feelings for her and because Brian is her best friend; and sometimes, in real life, this happens. Sometimes a friend feels something more for you and you never notice because you just think that is the way they are with you because they love you as you do. It'll be a bomb the day Freckles finds out Brian's real feelings for her. So I'm glad you felt the tension, because that is what I want to show: how uncomfortable and awkward a situation like this can be. And you wanted Freckles to get the hint? Oh, that would be risky. Oh, Darren is always gonna be a mess when he's around Freckles; the same would happen with Freckles; they just can't forget because I think what they had in the past was unique; they won't stop feeling confused until they get to know other people and in that moment, other things will happen, new kind of feelings. I did have a beautiful birthday; I spent it with my family and friends, so it was nice! I hope you like huge chocolate cakes; because that's the kind of piece of cake I'm sending your way! Warm fuzzies and colorful candies!

PotterHead62: hahaha yes! It's very complicated and they'll be having this comings and goings all the time. Freckles wants Darren and Darren doesn't want her; then Darren will want Freckles but Freckles won't want him; and like this on until they both, simultaneously, decide whether to be together or not. Thing is eventually they'll make this decision; actually it's not gonna be a decision, it'll just happen. But be patient, things must happen first. I feel so frustrated right now because I can't post links. It was a huge hot chocolate with a face shaped smiley cookie. Anyway, hopefully you can picture how delicious it was; and I'm glad to know that you're a little better and hopefully you'll be fully better. I knew that deep down I had a little bit of sweetness left. Oh yeah, maybe Chuck will screw up things; and he and Darren and he and Freckles will have to talk about this; let's see how that's gonna be. Thank you very much! I'm so happy to know that you're enjoying the story despite the hideous things I sometimes write!

wujoka: You returned with your fadizzle! I love that, I think I told you that! I made you be paranoid! I must say that I love your imagination and you made me giggle like a fool! The note to Darren you thought W would write? That is amazing! Give me some of your imagination! Poisoned food? I never thought about that and that's actually a pretty cool idea! I could use it someday. W is everywhere! So beware! Maybe W is hiding under the bed, like the monster which lived under our beds when we were kids. Or maybe... Maybe... W got the formula to minimize his/her/their size and is now living in one of Darren's curls! Or maybe, W got a perfect costume to look exactly like Chuck, and the one who's at the door isn't Chuck and that is W! Oh! Paranoiac too much? If I'm foreign? Did you mean the country where I live? Or am I getting it totally wrong? Because, you know, I'm one of those kind of people who tend to always, but always, get things wrong; I think I have problem; it's my crazy mind that makes me think things that aren't! Anyway, if you meant about the country where I live, then yes. I'm from Argentina! If it wasn't that, then you'll have to explain me because this stupid mind of mine thinks the shit it wants and doesn't understand questions! Oh, if only you knew how often that happens to me, sometimes it's embarrassing. And now, that was such a great way to wish me happy birthday! I laughed like, I don't know, for several minutes when I read that! Too many awesome things altogether! haha and I loved the comparison you made with 'son of a constitution'! And flobby? I think I've never heard about that word before, but then next to it you wrote hothot, and then looks and then I understood! And hell yeah, that son of constitution! Dayum Darren!

alicegursk: First off, don't apologize because you couldn't review before! I completely understand! So, are you in Berlin now? Berlin? Such a beautiful place! Can you speak German? I bet you enjoyed being there and if you're still there, I'm sure you're having a blast! Why are you scared of me? If I'm a little poor innocent, very innocent girl! haha. W won't appear in person; not yet. And when that time comes, it's gonna be really wicked and terrible. It's not gonna be like in high school. So maybe you could be a little scared; but remember that deep down I'm a nice person, so don't stab me! Why aren't you gonna tell me things? Please, tell me, I'm suffering, this is a torture! Come on! Pretty please? (Trying to do the same Darren's puppy eyes and totally failing, looking awkward). I want to know! Let's make a deal, I'm pretty sure we can solve this with some kind of deal. Ready to hear my offer? I'll let you ask me whatever you want to know and I'll answer in all honesty if you tell me! I think it's a very good deal, what do you think? Don't punch yourself in the face, you're gonna break your nose! You really don't want to bleed, do you? If you punch your face, I'll be forced to not write cute and sweet things. Oh! I always wanted a pancake with my name! Nobody has ever done that for me! I'm a sad panda. Freckles and Darren: pure comings and goings! Is that accurate?

Nicole: Hi my son-reviewer draco-nicole! Ah, the Nancy Drew series! So many memories! What about the mysterious pool in Hogwarts? Or the Sherlock Holmes series? Or the mysterious Bermuda Triangle? Or the mysterious Atlantis? Okay, I think I'm rambling and I'm getting carried away. Haha, oh yeah, Darren will! And yes, she's gonna be nice and funny; he deserves that, after all! I'm trying to find those parts of the magical land "bathroom", I think I'm getting closer; and I'm gonna find you and your first years friends! Ahh! It's so hard to choose only one option! I don't know, I don't know! Umm, maybe I could go with... I'm a year more awesome, because if I'm more awesome, I can get the other things. Oh wait, maybe that would work if I choose to be a year wiser. Ah, I'm having so many troubles to choose. I guess I'll have to think better about that. Maybe wiser, I'd like to look like a smart person. I don't know! haha. A belated cake sometimes tastes even better, so thank you a lot! You said that, better late than never! So don't worry about that! The chapter! It was a mix of feelings, right? The part I enjoyed writing the most was the first part, with Harry Potter and Starkid references; and also Mr. Fluffy. And Chuck, hell yeah! I wanted to bring him back because I missed him in the story; just as Mandy appeared, Chuck needed to appear! Do you really have a stuffed animal named Mr. Fluffy? Oh my wizard god! This is too much coincidence. I'm starting to think that I've been given the power of reading minds or seeing private things of some people. Aww, you stuffed dog is surely so nice to hug and all; I just love teddy bears or stuffed animals. Forever keeping the little kid inside me. Thank you! Actually my exam went good after all; I was very surprised about that! I siriusly won't explode because I want you to read the end of the story! Siriusly! Sirius! Where are you Sirius? Hugs and butterfly kisses for you, my son-reviewer draco-nicole!

That was all, guys! Now, about this chapter… Oh! I only wish you don't find it boring. It's very different from the others because I don't know why the day I wrote it, I was very… philosophical. So, it's weird and well… I don't know what to say. You'll meet this… "Philosophical" side of me. Besides, with this "debate" they will have, I want to show how their personalities are now. I don't know, I hope you don't get bored! So, everything said. Now, till next Saturday, lovelies! Warm fuzzies, bright suns, and colorful butterflies!

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Teenage Dream – Chapter 46 – Debating.

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"Hey, bro, this is not what you think." I said looking fixedly at Chuck who was still looking at Freckles kinda angry.

"You haven't answered my question." He said rudely again and he tried to step inside, but I placed my hands on his shoulders to stop him.

"Stop, Chuck." I said firmly and he finally looked at me. He was indeed angry and also confused. "Yes, Freckles is here and she's my friend. I tried to..."

"Why haven't you told me you found her?" Chuck asked furious.

"I tried... I..." I started answering awkwardly. How was I supposed to explain him all of this? "I actually thought the best would be if... I needed to tell you this in person, Chuck." I said sighing.

"She shouldn't be here and mess around again." Chuck said pointing at Freckles, furiously.

"Chuck, you don't even..." I said frowning, but he interrupted me.

"What does she want? To appear again, fuck you up and then shit you and run away as she has done before?" He asked rabidly, speaking a bit louder.

"No...No, it's not like..." I started complaining, frowning and feeling nervous because I didn't know how to explain. But Chuck interrupted me again.

"I won't let her hurt you again... I won't let her! She must go." He said roundly and harshly, looking at Freckles.

"What?" I asked incredulous, frowning and starting to feel annoyed. "No... Chuck, no..."

"She won't mess here, not again." Chuck said coldly and rudely. "And isn't that the asshole who harassed you in high school? What the fuck is wrong with you?"

"Brian… Yeah… Chuck, it's a long story. He isn't an asshole, he's my friend." I answered very annoyed and also uncomfortable.

Yeah, for Chuck, Brian was still one of the bullies who harassed us like hell in high school; I never told him that he was actually being harassed like us and that he helped me when I thought Freckles was W. For Chuck, Brian was just the asshole who deserved the worst.

"I'm gonna punch that asshole!" Chuck said furious, clenching his jaw and closing his fist.

"You won't do that, Charles. He's my friend just as Freckles is." I said serious.

"They will leave." Chuck said coldly and determined.

He attempted to walk in to walk straight towards Freckles. I tried to stop him and we struggled a bit, but he ended up winning me. He finally walked in and even if I tried to cling to his back and even if I tugged his t-shirt to stop him, he managed to push me away. Fuck, no! Chuck was really mad and he didn't even know how things were; this was bad. Freckles finally looked up and saw Chuck walking to her. She smiled widely and surprised. Damn, damn, damn. Freckles was surely thinking that Chuck was glad to see her, because that was what I told her once.

"Chuck?" Freckles asked with the same widely smile.

Chuck didn't say anything at all. Freckles stood up and ran to Chuck to pull him into a hug. Chuck tensed and frowned, he was still upset and the hug surprised him; I knew he didn't like this. I bit my lips, I looked down and I ran my fingers through my hair; feeling very nervous, uncomfortable and troubled.

"Oh my god! It's been a while!" Freckles exclaimed cheerfully still hugging Chuck.

Chuck softly pushed her away. Freckles remained looking at him happily and Chuck looked at her coldly, so she frowned slightly, apparently confused, but still smiling. Oh, crap, please Chuck, do not say anything stupid.

"Yes, it's been a while because of your fault." Chuck said coldly and Freckles' smile vanished. "I remind you that you were the one who disappeared. My brother has been looking for you for a whole damn year like an idiot and now you have the boldness to appear again as if nothing ever happened? How dare you?" Chuck said very harshly.

Freckles was looking at him astonished and aghast, frowning and agape. Chuck's words were rough and hurt her, I knew that. I bit my lip harder as I started scratching the nap of my neck, nervously. Freckles looked down and Chuck remained looking at her coldly. In the meantime, Joey and Brian were observing the situation confused and bewildered.

"I won't let you mess in my brother's life again." Chuck said rudely and Freckles remained looking down and frowning, pursing her lips. "And you, asshole…" He said rudely, pointing Brian as Brian looked at him surprised, raising his eyebrows and with a confused face. "You better get the fuck outta here." Chuck said menacingly and Brian frowned in confusion and embarrassment.

"Enough, Charles." I said firmly. "Guys, would you excuse us a minute?" I asked looking at Freckles, Joey and Brian. Joey and Brian nodded in silence and Freckles didn't do anything. "Come with me, Charles." I said bossy.

"I won't go anywhere until this girl over here goes away, as well as that asshole." He said harshly.

"I said come with me, Charles!" I yelled annoyed.

Chuck huffed and looked furiously at Freckles and Brian before turning around and walking towards me. I looked at Chuck upset and I indicated him to go outside. When Chuck walked outside, I closed the door behind us so no one would listen to our conversation. He was looking away, still furious.

"What the hell are you doing, Chuck? You shouldn't have talked that way!" I exclaimed upset.

"She is messing here! She's gonna hurt you again, Darren! I won't let it happen!" Chuck replied loudly, also upset.

"She's not messing here, because I invited her. And she's not gonna hurt me again, and if she ever does it, well, it's my problem, not yours!" I pointed firmly and annoyed.

"I'm trying to avoid something that surely is gonna end in a bad way! I am taking care of you, Darren." Chuck said frowning.

"I'm not a little kid, Charles!" I yelled furiously and exasperated as he looked at me astonished. "I can take care of myself and I'm responsible of all the shit I decide to do or not with my life. You said she shouldn't mess, well, you also shouldn't mess, Charles. This is my life and not yours. It's time for you to stop being so overprotective as if I were five, because I am not." I said very irked.

"Sometimes you act as if you were five. You're not making good decisions, Everett." Chuck said coldly.

"And sometimes you act as if you were mom or dad and you're not. And what if sometimes I act as if I were five? I'm fine this way and I'm proud of what I'm doing. I just want you to stop meddling in all of my decisions. This is what I want, get it? I want this!" I yelled angrily.

"Why do you want to be hurt again? Because that girl and that asshole are gonna get that! What the fuck is wrong with you?" He yelled also angrily.

"I don't wanna be hurt again! You have no idea what happened between Freckles and me, as well as you have no idea what happened between Brian and me, thus you're not in position to decide what is good or not for me! So stop acting like an ass, being rude with her and Brian because they don't deserve it and because you have no idea of what happened!" I yelled rabidly.

"Am I acting like an ass because I'm trying to protect you?" He asked incredulous, frowning.

"Yes, you're acting like a real ass! And I do not want you to protect me, goddammit!" I exclaimed exasperated and irritated. "If something bad comes to happen to me, well, fuck that! I don't fucking care and I won't regret anything because at least I made things as I thought it was fine for me! You cannot always be here, trying to tell me what to do or not, because I've got my own life and I want to live it my way, with all the mistakes and shit I could do; I don't care! I want that. So stop!" I yelled really upset and Chuck looked at me huffy.

"I'm doing this for you, to see you fine." Chuck said looking down, speaking low.

"If you wanna do something for me to see me fine; please stop being like this with me and do not treat Freckles and Brian in a bad way." I said this time softening my voice. I looked down, sighed and then I looked at him again. "Chuck, you're my bro and I know your intentions aren't bad, but I need to do the things I want and if I make a mistake, good then, I'll learn for next time; but I don't need you to be so protective. I know what I'm doing, or not... But for now this is what I want to do." I said looking at him as Chuck was pursing his lips and nodding, still looking away. "And Freckles..." I started saying and Chuck looked at me very serious, frowning. "Really, you shouldn't have treated her like that. She's an amazing person, very nice and funny. And we've already talked about what happened; she told me everything, I told her everything and we're really fine now. She's only my friend, Chuck; she's different now and I like her but I'm not in love with her anymore and she isn't in love with me either." I explained, finally calming down as Chuck looked away again. "You should give her a chance to show you how she is now. You'll see I'm right, you'll see the kind of amazing person she is and you'll see we're gonna be only friends."

"I don't know..." Chuck answered curtly, still looking away.

"Please, Chuck. Do this for me. I really like Freckles and I really wanna be her friend. I feel good when I'm with her and I know we won't have anything but a friendship and that is what I like the most." I said softly and almost in a supplicant way, looking at him fixedly.

"Alright, fine. But I'll do it only for you because that is what you want. But if I notice something suspicious, I swear I won't hesitate to tell her all I think about her." Chuck said warningly.

"You don't know her anymore, Chuck. Come on, you'll see she's different now." I said smiling because at least Chuck was going to try and that was hard. "And I really think you should apologize to her and Brian."

"I won't apologize. I don't regret what I said." Chuck said roundly.

"Yes, you should really regret. They didn't deserve that and you have no idea all the things Freckles does for others and for me. She made me smile again, Chuck; so you should regret." I said seriously.

"I'll think about that..." Chuck said determined and I sighed in frustration. But I should be proud, because at least he didn't keep refusing so strongly.

"Fine, I take your words." I said nodding.

"Hold on, there's something I don't understand." Chuck said frowning.

"What?" I asked gingerly.

"You've spent a whole year looking for her and she was nowhere. But then she appears here out of nowhere. And as far as I remember you wanted her back even if I tried to make you see she wasn't for you, whatever... Now she's here, at your apartment; and you told me you've talked to her... So, considering this all... Why have you told me that you're friends? Why do you say now that you aren't in love with her after all that year you've been suffering for her? And why has she appeared? How did you find her? Why is she in Ann Arbor?" Chuck asked curiously and confused. Whoa! Those were a bunch of questions.

"Oh well! She's in Ann Arbor because she also attends the University of Michigan; she's here to get a B.F.A. in Interarts Performance. I didn't find her because I wanted to; she was Meredith's roommate and thanks to Meredith I saw her again." I started explaining and Chuck was confused, just as confused as I was when Freckles told me she was studying that. "I'm not in love with her because she's very different now; some things of her haven't changed but too many things have. You saw her, physically she looks completely different, she is now sexier and more extravagant, quirky, colorful and self-confident; and her personality has changed a lot, she's not the girl with whom I fell in love with. And we're just friends because I still like her and she's nice, funny, kind, friendly, humble, smart, sweet..." I started saying thinking about Freckles with a smile and when I noticed I was saying too many things, I shut up. "Okay, whatever, you'll meet her now. And she's only my friend and we've talked about this and we agreed this is the best and we're glad about it. Neither of us wants to have something more than a friendship because we prefer to be only friends not to screw all the good memories we have together. So, yeah, that's it."

"I get it, but... Don't you have any feelings for her now?" Chuck asked suspiciously.

"No..." I answered looking away. Of course I lied and of course Chuck noticed, so I decided to tell him the truth. "Maybe yes, I do have feelings for her and I'll always have feelings for her because she was my first love. But I do not feel the same way I felt when we were dating in high school; those feelings are just a memory. I like her; I like her too much, but just as my friend. And I think that's a cool thing." I said shrugging and Chuck nodded.

"Alright." Chuck answered.

"So, do you promise to treat her friendly, Chuck?" I asked concerned.

"No, I won't promise that. It's ridiculous because I know I won't be capable to act friendly with her, I just can't. I still don't like her and nothing is gonna change my mind. But I promise I won't treat her so rudely; only because of you, not because I want to." Chuck answered in all honesty and I sighed.

"Alright, that's something..." I said kinda frustrated, but well, at least he was going to behave. Hopefully. "Come on, let's get in."

Chuck only nodded and we walked to the door again and I opened it. I was kinda nervous because I honestly didn't know how Chuck was going to act, but he promised me not to be rude. When I opened the door I could notice that the atmosphere there was fraught. Joey looked at me and widened his eyes, raising his eyebrows and pursing his lips. Then I looked at Brian and Freckles who were standing, Brian with his backpack and Freckles with her purse. This wasn't a good sign. I needed to fix this somehow.

"Okay!" I exclaimed very loudly and trying to sound cheerful but truth was I was uncomfortable. Nobody answered and nobody smiled. "I know this didn't start in a good way, but Chuck and I have cleared up some things so... Yeah, let's start again, okay?" I said trying to sound positive and cheerful. Nobody said anything at all and everybody was avoiding eye contact. "Hey Chuck! Look, Freckles is here!" I exclaimed loudly sounding like an idiot.

"Darren, this is not necessary." Freckles suddenly said, firmly. "I understand what happened, so I think the best would be if Brian and I just return to our room. So thank you for everything, now we're just gonna leave." Freckles said determined and I looked at her disturbed and then I looked fixedly at Chuck as letting him know he should do something about, but he did nothing. "Chuck, I hope you can enjoy your days here and I hope Darren doesn't force you to continue unpacking the moving boxes." She said trying to sound a bit funny, but I knew she wasn't doing well and more when Chuck avoided her gaze and seemed he was ignoring her. "Have a good day, guys."

With that, Freckles started walking towards the door. Brian didn't follow her, but after a while he sighed, greeted me with a nod and sad smile and walked behind Freckles. Shit, Chuck should have said something, this was his fault. I ran towards Freckles and I took her hand to stop her, but she let out my hand and kept walking; so I quickly stood in between the door and her before she could open the door. Freckles didn't look at me, not even when I placed my hands on her tiny shoulders.

"Freckles, please don't go." I begged in a whisper.

"Sorry, Darren, but this is the best for everyone. I don't want to turn this into an uncomfortable situation. You should enjoy your time with your brother, I bet it's been a while since the last time you saw him, and Brian and I are just bothering here and I get it. So, please, stop making this scene and let me go." Freckles answered in a whisper, avoiding my look; but I still kept my hands on her shoulders.

"I don't want you to go." I said in a whisper.

"But I want to. So please, move aside." Freckles said firmly, still looking down.

"I won't move aside." I answered just as roundly as I placed my hands firmly on her waist. She finally looked up at me, frowning.

"How could you have done this to me, Darren?" She asked in a whisper, sizzling with her teeth, still frowning.

"Do what?" I asked also in a whisper, frowning in confusion.

"It's not proper to talk about that here right now. Just let me go." She whispered, still frowning. She seemed to be vexed.

"What's wrong?" I asked in a whisper, still very confused.

"What's wrong?" She asked in a whisper, in a sarcastic way. "We'll talk about this later, now stand aside."

"We'll talk about that right now." I said firmly and I took her hand strongly as she struggled to let out my hand, but she couldn't. I looked at everybody very serious. "Guys, please excuse us for a moment." I said roundly.

Everybody nodded and I started walking with Freckles, holding strongly her hand as she was still struggling to let out her hand; but she tried to remain controlled, not making any childish scene. I needed to know what was wrong with her, why she seemed to be upset with me, and besides I didn't want her to go; not before she and Chuck could at least talk a bit. I knew Freckles was hating me in this moment, because she was very serious, frowning and pursing her lips while looking away; but she didn't say anything and she behaved like a mature and controlled person. I took her to my new bedroom and I locked the door once we were inside. Once I was sure she wasn't going to go anywhere, I let out her hand and she looked at me annoyed. It was time to talk.

---

You were sitting on Darren's bed and he was sitting right next to you. Both of you were silent and neither of you were looking at each other. Darren was still waiting for you to tell him what was wrong with you and you really didn't want to talk now because you were moody.

"Freckles, please, tell me what I've done to make you want leave." Darren demanded softly, placing his forearms on his thighs and clasping his hands, looking down.

You didn't answer; first you needed to calm down because you didn't want to say anything that later you were going to regret. So you remained propping your chin on your hands, in silence. Darren sighed and moved closer, wrapping his hands on your wrists. This forced you to look at him; he was looking deeply into your eyes.

"May I know, please, what I've done?" He asked softly.

"You lied to me." You finally answered and then you looked down, but before you could see him frowning in confusion.

"I lied to you? Why do you say that? I haven't lied to you." He said confused, making you look at him again.

"Yes, when we were in Munising you told me that your family missed me around, that they still considered me as part of the family. How could you have lied to me about this?" You asked sadly and Darren looked at you still frowning with his lips parted.

"I haven't lied to you. They still consider you as part of our family, they miss and love you." He answered and you huffed, shook your head and looked away.

"Sure. And for that Chuck has told me all of that. You let me make a fool of myself out there. I thought he missed me but he didn't; and I missed him, and you let me hug him while he only wanted me out of your life. Do you have any idea of how stupid and bad it made me feel only because you lied to me?" You asked in disbelief, feeling hurt, now looking at Darren who was now looking down.

"I really haven't lied to you. My mom and dad still ask for you and they miss you. Chuck... Chuck is a special case. It's not that he hates you or something; it's just that he's very overprotective with me that he saw how hard I was trying to find you last year, he saw how bad I was feeling when I couldn't get anything about you; so well... He just thinks you're gonna hurt me again, so... He's just very overprotective, but he has missed you." Darren replied uncomfortable and you looked at him blankly.

"Darren..." You whispered while sighing. "I'm not a fool. If you're saying that only to make me feel better; well, stop because it isn't working. I was there when Chuck saw me; I hugged him and I noticed how uncomfortable he was feeling; I saw his face when he pushed me away and I heard his voice when he told me I was the one who disappeared and when he said he wasn't going to let me mess in your life. And all of that didn't sound as though he has missed me; that sounded as if he couldn't stand seeing me. And that's alright; even if it makes me feel bad, I understand." You said looking down, feeling a bit sad. "So stop saying those things, Darren."

Darren didn't say anything; he surely knew you were right. He moved even closer to you and his legs touched yours very slightly. He wrapped an arm around you and he placed one hand on your shoulder and with the other hand he held your hands. You looked at him and you saw his hazel eyes looking at yours.

"I really didn't lie to you. If Chuck reacted that way is because he was surprised to see you. And yes, I won't deny the fact he wasn't so happy to see you, sorry. But it's not because he hates you, it's because of the fact he relates what happened to us to what happened to him with his ex-girlfriend when he started college, so he's worried. I tried to explain him that our story has nothing to do with his, but he's on guard all the time because he's overprotective. That's what I talked to him minutes ago and he understood you're important to me; you really are; so he told me he was going to try to work on his obsession of acting like a parent over me. That's all, I swear." Darren said very softly and gently, still holding your hands and wrapping his arm around you, looking deeply into your eyes. "I'm sorry if I made you feel bad, that wasn't my intention; I'd never want to make you feel like that. I really, but really, don't wanna argue with you like this."

"We're not arguing, Darren. I don't want it either. We're just talking in an honest and mature way. I don't know if you can notice I'm not the kind of person who argues over everything as before; I've changed that; even if sometimes I lose my temper and I tend to be like a crazy and intolerant bitch. But this isn't the case. I just felt uncomfortable and I'm letting you know that, that's it." You answered quietly, looking into his eyes and he looked at you amazed, looking intensely into your eyes for a long time. "And I didn't know that about Chuck and I understand him; I understand you, but I have a doubt... What have you told him about us? Because he told me I was the one who disappeared; and yes, I did, but I had reasons and any other person would have understood them. So, what have you told him?" You asked curiously, frowning.

"I told him the truth. I told him the same I told you, the truth of what happened: that Jim appeared that night and threatened me with a gun, forcing me to leave you, forcing me to write that note. But he wouldn't stop thinking that you... Well, that you were the one who wanted to disappear from my life." Darren answered looking at you sadly and you could notice he was being honest, even if you still couldn't believe that story of Jim.

"Okay, I get it." You answered nodding. "But still, even if you've talked to Chuck, even if I know how things supposedly are... I feel uncomfortable right now, being here; and Chuck would feel uncomfortable too; and if we're uncomfortable, everybody is gonna feel like that and I wouldn't want it. I really think you should enjoy your time with your brother and that's not gonna happen if I'm here. So, I still think I should go." You said determined, trying to let out Darren's hands, but he kept holding them, now tighter.

"And I still think you should stay. That's a problem, isn't it?" He said looking deeply into your eyes.

"Yes, that's a problem." You answered nodding and smiling faintly. "Listen, Dare..." You said sighing and you felt how Darren squeezed your hands and his eyes twinkled. "We have all the time we want to be together, after all we're living in the same city and we're attending the same University. How many times do you have the chance to have your brother here? I bet it doesn't happen so often. So really, I should go. I won't feel upset, I won't feel offended, and I won't feel bad. I think this is the best, honestly." You said smiling slightly, looking deeply into his hazel eyes.

"Well, it turns out that I think the best thing that could ever happen is if I have my bro and you at the same place." Darren said, looking fixedly at you and moving even closer to you, so now your bodies were touching.

"Why?" You asked frowning, intrigued. Darren remained silent for a while and then he took a deep breath before answering.

"Well, because... Chuck is my bro, and I miss him, and I love him even if sometimes he gets on my nerves and I want to kick his ass... And also because you... You're my best friend... You really are. And I... I love you too." Darren answered thoughtful as though he was trying to find the right words to say. You were looking intensely at him, feeling a bit thrilled because of his words. Were you his best friend? "So... Yeah, what would be better than spending a day, and maybe the whole weekend with two people I love? And also with Brian, who's like our bro now. I would... I'd really love that and I won't get it if you don't agree staying."

"That's wonderful, what you said. But I'm doing this because of Chuck. I really don't want to..."

"You don't want to make him feel uncomfortable. I know, you've already said that and it's something very sweet from you to always make everybody feel comfortable." He interrupted you and you nodded. "But I've told you already I've talked to Chuck about this and he understands what you mean to me; he understands we're friends now. So, hey, he also shouldn't make you feel uncomfortable. He promised he wasn't going to make you feel uncomfortable and now I know you don't want to make him uncomfortable; so I don't see what the problem is." He said smiling slightly and shrugging. "Besides... I won't stop trying to convince you to stay and you know I'm stubborn and I won't stop till I get what I want. So... You're gonna stay or... You're going to stay."

"Is there any option?" You asked frowning, a bit amused and his face brightened.

"No, actually. I'm afraid there are no options for you." He said smiling amused. Then he leaned and kissed your cheek in a very warm way. "So, you're staying here and we're gonna have breakfast all together and we're gonna eat and talk happily till the end of time." Darren said cheerfully and you giggled softly.

"Okay, I think I've been forced; so I'm staying." You answered amused, looking into his eyes and he smiled brightly.

He didn't say anything; he only pulled you into a tight and warm hug. He rested his chin on your shoulder and he rubbed your back in a very smooth way. This was a nice hug and of course, you hugged him back. It was good to have this relationship with Darren.

"I love you." He whispered friendly in your ear, still hugging you. This surprised you and you couldn't help smiling.

"Love you too." You replied, also in a whisper. He broke the hug to look into your eyes.

"Do you?" He asked with bright eyes.

"Yes, I do." You answered smiling warmly.

Darren remained looking intensely into your eyes with his bright hazel eyes for a while, without saying anything. Then he leaned and moved his face closer to yours and you suddenly felt a bit nervous and uncomfortable, feeling that stupid ticklish on your stomach. Why were you feeling so weird? What was he doing? Your faces were really close. You thought he was going to kiss you and you were feeling very nervous. And he did kiss you, but on your cheek. Then he moved his face away and looked at you with a huge smile while you were still feeling super weird. Damn.

"Let's go, I'm pretty sure we'll have a really good day." Darren said joyfully and you just nodded while gulping.

He stood up and held your hand to help you to stand up. You walked to the door still holding hands as you were trying to stop feeling in this weird way. And like this, you left his bedroom and walked into the dining room, ready to start the day with Chuck. Hopefully, everything will work out with him.

---

"So, that's why I think that nowadays no one can live without a mobile phone; no one really can live without a computer, without internet. I mean, it's fantastic how we can be connected with other person even if we're distant. If we miss someone because that person is away, then all we need to do is to call them or chat with them, it's all there. That's fantastic. I think that a phone or a computer or those amazing electronics are essential for our lives. We cannot live without them." Chuck said very excited looking at his new phone.

"There you're wrong, Chuck." Freckles suddenly said contradictorily and everybody looked at her frowning.

Joey, Brian, Chuck, Freckles and I ordered pizza for dinner and were eating it in the living room while talking. It was really good how Chuck behaved all this time. He really didn't talk too much to Freckles or Brian, but at least he didn't treat them in a rude way. When Freckles and I left my bedroom after talking, the situation was still tense and very uncomfortable; but after having breakfast all together and after talking a bit, the situation wasn't so uncomfortable. Chuck told us about his experiences in college and all the things he has learned. He even asked Freckles what she was studying and Freckles started telling him the reasons why she decided to study Interarts Performance, just the same reasons she told me. Then Chuck asked Brian what he was studying and I felt surprised by the way Brian was talking, he seemed to be very smart, cultured and enlightened; I couldn't get why he wouldn't be able to get a better scholarship if he seemed to have a lot of knowledge. Then Joey and I talked about our own stuff. So, we spent all the day just talking, talking and talking. I was feeling really good to be able to be all together.

"Am I wrong? Why do you think I'm wrong?" Chuck asked frowning, serious. Well, this was going to be the first time that Chuck and Freckles were going to talk directly, and I sensed this was going to be a debate.

"Because I think those things aren't essential for our lives. What is essential is invisible to the eye." Freckles said convinced.

I knew what was going to happen now; the philosophical Freckles was going to show up; with all her craziness, convictions, thoughts and reflections about life and simple things. This was a new part of the new Freckles, a part of her that I still didn't know too much but that was really intriguing. I loved when she talked this way; but I wasn't sure if being like this right now was going to be a good idea. When Freckles showed her philosophical side, she used to be very passionate and hasty, and she tended to talk in a loudly, fervent and hotheaded way; and if you didn't know she only talked that way because she loved exchanging point of views, everybody would misinterpret her and would think she's being aggressive, obstinate, insolent and haughty. And Chuck didn't know this, so he was probably going to argue with her and was going to feel really upset with her. I couldn't allow it now that they were moderately fine.

"Alright! What if we talk about something else?" I exclaimed loudly, nervously.

"So, are you trying to say that a phone or a computer aren't useful and are stupid? Because I can see your phone right there, and if you were so convinced that a phone isn't important, then you wouldn't have one." Chuck said, completely ignoring my commentary. Yes, he also liked to debate.

"No, I'm not saying that a phone or computers aren't useful and I don't think they are stupid. I have a phone precisely for that, because it's useful." Freckles said quietly and Chuck was looking at her frowning. "What I'm saying is that they aren't essential, we're only used to those things. And I'm saying that human beings now tend to think we cannot live without those things and that's ridiculous. Back in the Ancient history, they didn't have those things and they could live, and they were the greatest inventors and philosophers; they are the basis of our knowledge and culture; and they certainly didn't get that with a phone or a computer. Great human beings are those who feel that the spiritual is stronger than any material force, and it is ideas that rule the world." Freckles said very convinced and firmly, and she was starting to speak louder.

"Okay... What if we watch a movie?" I asked trying to do something else. Brian and Joey looked at me amused because they knew I wasn't going to get it.

"You cannot compare our age to the Ancient history; because society has changed, the culture has changed, lifestyles have changed, man's relationship with nature has changed; politics has advanced, society has advanced, the economy has advanced, the art has advanced, science and technology has advanced; humanity has evolved. Are you against progress?" Chuck asked just as convinced as Freckles.

"I'm not against progress and I embrace all the new discoveries and advances. But to what extent we believe that progress and technology is more important than human beings? Because you said that a computer and a phone are essential, leaving out what is really important that is the human being. So I wonder... Have we really reached the point where machines replace human beings?" Freckles asked philosophically, raising an eyebrow and looking fixedly at Chuck in a way that seemed to be an aggressive way, even if I knew it wasn't like that.

"I know about a game we could play..." I commented vainly because I knew they weren't going to stop. Joey and Brian giggled softly, looking at Freckles and Chuck very entertained.

"You are taking my words out of context. Yes, I said that a computer and a phone are essential to the life of this society in which we live, but I've never said these things are more important than humans. You should admit that a phone is an essential need for this society in which we live now." Chuck said also looking fixedly at Freckles, almost challenging. He was also speaking louder. I knew that Freckles wouldn't leave it there; I knew she was going to fight for her convictions.

"You're wrong again, Chuck." Freckles said firmly and loudly as Chuck looked at her incredulous, raising his eyebrows and getting upset. I only bit my lips and looked down. Oh well, here we go... "To society are imposed, in a homogeneous way, a series of artificial needs, seeking only comfort and so the human being is chained to it. This society, which is able to reduce a man to a commercial piece, is produced by industrial society. This capitalist society is an one-dimensional society, which has been able to destroy the spirit of revolution, that desire for social improvement, and has reduced the human feelings to superficial pleasures, unnecessary and personal, propagated by the production system that currently is no longer responsible for satisfy real needs." Freckles spoke in a very convinced way and she was starting to seem arrogant and obstinate; even if that wasn't her intention. Chuck was looking at her frowning, apparently upset. Brian and Joey were looking at Freckles interested in what she was saying and I just wanted to go away. "With the industrial revolution, people began to be alienating slaves to the rhythm of the machines, which were the ones that made the laws and times of their lives. The labor movement was maintained with little force and unions fought essentially to obtain material advantages. Because so much pressure and the high level of industrialization, most of them ended up losing their personality and becoming, metaphorically, in machines." Freckles said very loudly.

She said it all in a passionately way that seemed to be almost cynical and still aggressive. Chuck was looking at her displeased and he tried to refute some things, but Freckles wouldn't let him talk because she was too excited exposing her point of view. This only made Chuck feel even more annoyed and irritated. Brian and Joey were still entertained, listening intently to what Freckles was saying. I was also interested in what she was saying and she had a point. She said it all in a very persuasive way; she was very cultured and it was amazing to listen to her. But I was more worried for the way this debate could end.

"We have progressed very quickly, but we have jailed ourselves. The machinery, which creates abundance, has left us in want. Our knowledge has made us cynical. Our cleverness, hard and dry. We think too much, feel too little. More than machinery we need more humanity. More than cleverness we need kindness and gentleness. Science and technology, in revolutionary society, must serve the permanent release of the humanization of human beings." Freckles said very loudly and very secure, vigorous and ablaze. "And that is why I think that phones or computers aren't essential, because what are essential are human beings themselves." Freckles said smiling widely. "So, what's your point of view?" She asked looking at Chuck.

Everybody looked at her stunned, amazed and agape. Even Chuck was speechless. He didn't seem upset anymore and, instead, he seemed to be very impressed; looking at Freckles like bewitched and delighted. He glanced at me furtively with a look like 'What the hell?' and I shrugged. I looked at Freckles who was still expectant to hear Chuck's point of view with a huge smile. I looked at her and I smiled. Man, she was awesome; she was very smart, cultured, self-confident, and wise; but also humble, kind, and straightforward; and besides all of that she was funny and pretty and sexy. What the hell was she? Of course she had a lot of weaknesses; but what the hell. I never felt prouder of being her friend.

"Well, that's a very interesting point of view." Chuck admitted, nodding and smiling slightly. I couldn't believe he actually smiled at Freckles. This was amazing. "Yet, you're so exaggerated and you took my words to heart. I was only saying that is amazing to be able to connect with people who are distant thanks to phones and computers. Only that." He said giggling and Freckles also giggled. And of course, everybody laughed.

"Sorry, my heart tends to rule my head when it comes to debates. I just like that." Freckles answered smiling widely and shrugging.

"That's okay, I like that too." Chuck said also smiling.

Then he looked at me in a 'Whoa! I'm impressed' way, smiled and nodded; I just looked at him in a 'I told you she was cool' way. Well, I was very thankful this didn't end in a bad way as I thought.

"Can I opine something?" Joey suddenly asked.

I looked at him abruptly, as telling him 'Shut the fuck up'. I was glad this ended in a good way, but I didn't want them to start another debate, even if it was cool to hear Freckles talking, exposing and defending her point of views. But it was too late, because everybody was now looking at him intrigued and Freckles' face brightened when she heard Joey had something to opine.

"It's very cool and impressive all that shit you said about humanity, machinery and materialism." Joey said serious, looking at Freckles and she was only smiling cheerfully and looking at him curiously. "But what if actually this all we're living is just a big dream? What if we think we are living, but actually we aren't living because this is not real?" Joey asked still serious but it was obvious he was joking, so everybody laughed. Well, thanks god he only was joking.

"That's so absurd." Chuck said still laughing.

"Actually, I think that what Joey asked is not so absurd. Actually, I think he has a point, a very interesting point." Freckles said serious. Oh no, what the hell?

"I'm pretty sure Joey was joking." Brian commented amused. He knew Freckles more than me now, so he already knew that Freckles wanted to start a new debate.

"I was." Joey commented in a giggle.

"How come, eh?" Chuck asked amused and challenging, ignoring all the comments. Oh no, not again!

"Guys, are you sure you don't want to watch a movie?" I asked as trying to change the topic of conversation. Joey and Brian laughed at me.

"Yeah, like... How do you define the real?" Freckles asked frowning, very thoughtful.

Chuck was now looking at her very interested in what she had to say. Now he was surely going to meet the other side of Freckles. He recently discovered the philosophical and theorist side of Freckles, the one that was very cultured with a point of view based on history, culture, thoughts, society and facts. Now he was going to meet the crazy, eccentric, absurd, surrealistic, bizarre and highly imaginative side based on her perceptions, emotions, hypothesis, and paradoxes. I wondered how Chuck was going to react to this side of her, one of the things that have changed of her; because Freckles wasn't like this in high school; before everybody knew she was logical and wise, but no one knew this creative side of her. Not even me. I knew just a little of this new side of her for what we talked in Munising; but I still didn't know so much. So I needed to admit I was also intrigued to know what she was going to say.

"Because if you're talking about what you can feel, what you can smell, what you can taste and see, then real is simply electrical signals interpreted by your brain." Freckles started explaining, still frowning as though she was deep in thought; what made her look as if she were exploring her subconscious. Then she looked at Chuck fixedly. "Have you ever had a dream that seemed so real? What would happen if you couldn't wake up from that dream? How would you differentiate the dream world from reality?" Freckles asked looking fixedly at Chuck.

"Well, I only have to open my eyes and find myself in my bed, remembering in a very diffuse way what I recently thought it was real, to then return to the routine of my real life and do the real things I use to do in my real life. Actually it's not so hard to differentiate the dream world from reality." Chuck answered with an amused smile.

"Is that your theory?" Freckles asked frowning.

"Yes, that is my theory." Chuck answered firmly and almost vehemently, still amused.

"So, you're saying that reality is a series of routine actions we use to do; and is this series of routine actions what allows us to differentiate the world of dreams from reality." Freckles said but not as statement, but as wondering it.

"Kind of..." Chuck said frowning.

"Hmm, I see. And what do you guys think about this?" Freckles asked now looking at Brian, Joey and me.

Brian, Joey and I exchanged looks of surprise and hesitation, we all were clueless. I honestly had no idea what to answer because I was thinking this was a little absurd topic of conversation; besides I never thought she could ask us what we thought; this was a debate only between her and Chuck. But there she was, expectant to hear some kind of opinion. Brian was the first to talk, thankfully; because this was going to give me time to make up something.

"Well, to answer this I will refer to the book The Social Construction of Reality written by Peter Berger and Thomas Luckmann. The central concept of The Social Construction of Reality is that persons and groups interacting in a social system create, over time, concepts or mental representations of each other's actions, and these concepts eventually become habituated into reciprocal roles played by the actors in relation to each other. When these roles are made available to other members of society to enter into and play out, the reciprocal interactions are said to be institutionalized. In the process of this institutionalization, meaning is embedded in society. Knowledge and people's conception and belief of what reality is becomes embedded in the institutional fabric of society. There exists an objective reality and a subjective reality, both of them constructed by society. Reality is therefore said to be socially constructed." Brian started explaining in a very reasonable and rational way. I looked at him with eyes wide open. Why was everybody so cultured here? Fuck Brian, I was expecting him not to be as clear-headed as Freckles. This wasn't helping; I was feeling like a fool. "There are different points of view about reality. John Keats would say that nothing ever becomes real till it is experienced, even a proverb is no proverb to you till your life has illustrated it. José Ortega y Gasset would say that there are as many realities as points of view. Hegel would say that all that is real is rational and all that is rational is real. Piaget would say that knowing reality means constructing systems of transformations that correspond, more or less adequately, to reality." Brian said quoting diverse writers or philosophers, I didn't know. "I advocate the theory that reality is something that human beings construct in society with a particular culture, collective memory, thought, tradition and lifestyles constructed and accepted in the context in which we live. The reality is the construction of a set of shared values in a society to which we belong and with which we identify."

Damn, Brian knew a lot about that stuff of quoting other people in a very cultured way. How the hell would he know a lot about that stuff and those people? Right, he was studying something related to literature. Still, how would he remember each one of the things that each one of those people said? I was feeling like very illiterate next to Freckles, Chuck and Brian. Hopefully Joey wouldn't answer something as elaborate as them. Damn, what is reality? I wasn't one of those people who often think about the origin of the world, life and shit.

"Interesting point of view. So, you're saying something like we don't have an own reality, because reality is constructed by society and without society, a human being wouldn't have a concrete reality. Our reality depends on society and its beliefs and tradition. Right?" Freckles said in an analytical way.

"It's not so like that... but yeah. After all, a human being lives in a society; you cannot analyze a human being without analyzing the context in which that person lives. A person, his ideas, his belief, his mores, his personality; are constructed in terms to the interaction with other people." Brian answered quiet as Freckles was looking at him intently, smiling slightly.

"And you guys? What do you think?" Freckles asked looking at Joey and me.

I started feeling the pressure of answering something I didn't know how to answer. I was sure that Joey was feeling the same, because he was just as silent as I was, and he seemed to be just as nervous and clueless as I was. But he spoke.

"I only wonder... What if the image of reality that gives us our eyes is only an illusion, an optical effect? What if we accept the reality, perhaps because we sense that nothing is real? What if we are ghosts meeting other ghosts in a ghost world? I only wanna be Casper the friendly ghost." Joey said jokingly and everybody laughed. Well, he was obviously going to answer in a jokingly way because he was just like me in some aspects; he never wondered philosophically about that stuff.

"Interesting!" Freckles exclaimed still laughing. "What if I'm part of the Ghostbusters?" She asked jokingly and mischievously.

"Then please, remember I'm a friendly ghost!" Joey replied also laughing.

"I'll consider it." She said with an amused smile and then her gaze fixed on my eyes. Damn. "So, Darren, what do you think?" She asked looking at me fixedly as I was feeling like an idiot.

"Umm, well..." I started saying uncomfortable.

I was noticing the pressure of the looks of everybody directed to me, expecting me to say something. This was a torture; it was as though I were being examined by a jury and my verdict depended on my judgment and posture about what the hell I thought about what reality is.

"I think... I think reality cannot be explained as something reliable and concrete; so actually there's not really a definition of what reality is. No one can really explain what reality is because it depends on the way that each one of us lives life. I mean, my reality is not the same than your reality, or the reality of each one of you, or the reality of other people; only because there's the fact that we aren't the same, even if we are equals and we share some things in common." I started explaining, looking down trying to order the mess I had in my brain. I was still sensing the looks fixed on me, like 'I'm here to judge your nonsensical, pointless and lame theories'. "Umm, okay... This is a mess. But... I think we all live in a world of fantasy and imagination when we're children, and for some of us that world of fantasy continue as we grow. So, in terms that some of us still live in that world of fantasy as if we were still children; I do think that the key is in the game." I started explaining while I was realizing that I actually had an idea of what reality for me was.

Everybody was listening to me intently and all of them were frowning; they weren't getting my point of view. Joey was smiling amused, surely because he was thinking that I had no idea of what to answer and I was answering in a very preposterous way, which was true at some point. Anyway, I kept talking.

"It's in the game and only the game that the child or adult as individuals are able to be creative and use their total personality; and only by being creative the individual can discover himself. And it's when we discover ourselves when we create our reality in our way, a reality that may be different from the reality of another person living with us, and although there are different realities in each of us, we always share a common reality; a reality that is socially constructed as Brian mentioned." I explained now more secure and excited.

Now I understood why Freckles always loved to debate about certain topics; it was exciting and very entertained; and also you could find more things about yourself that were always there, implicit within you. Now I finally understood why Freckles tended to speak louder and passionately; because this was something fervent that produced a feeling of satisfaction.

"And I do think that reality isn't something concrete and concise, because the reality is something that is being. The reality is something that is happening constantly as we live the reality. The reality is reality itself." I explained in a really enthusiastic way, raising my voice but not on purpose. Everybody was looking at me as if I was crazy, but I didn't care. My theory totally rocked. "Therefore, I think you shouldn't believe anything they tell you what reality is, not even what I'm telling you, because reality cannot be told." I said looking at Freckles and smiling proudly because of what I said. Freckles, who was frowning and listening to me very intently to try to understand my point of view, smiled widely at me.

"Well, it was a bit messy at first but then I finally understood your point of view. And I gotta admit that I find it very interesting, maybe it's accurate. Maybe your point of view it's not so different from my point of view, that's weird because I'm weird and therefore my point of view is weird." Freckles commented frowning and thoughtful.

"Let the weirdo unite!" I exclaimed loudly while laughing as everybody laughed along with me. "But seriously, what's your point of view?"

"Here we go..." Brian commented raising his eyebrows and Freckles looked at him and nudged him playfully.

"Alright, first off, I believe that our life consists largely of dreams, sensations or ideas; dreams, sensations and ideas that we should lead to action." Freckles said firmly looking fixedly at me. "To explain this, I will go back to the philosophy of Plato." She said with an air of intellectuality.

"Is it me or do you love philosophers and culture of Classical antiquity?" Chuck commented with a giggle and Freckles looked at him amused.

"Maybe I do love the Classical antiquity, only because the Greco-Roman cultural foundation has been immensely influential on the language, politics, educational systems, philosophy, science, art, and architecture of the modern world of Western culture." Freckles admitted with a smile.

"Okay, I won't argue with you about that." Chuck said with a short giggle. It was really good to see that they seemed to get along; that was the most I wanted.

"Good." Freckles said smiling with her usual cheerfulness. She was so cute and smart and pretty... What was I thinking? I should focus on what she had to say. "So, as I was saying, I will go back to the philosophy of Plato." She said again and everybody looked at her intently. "Plato says that the one who sees with his eyes is blind, and this idea is most famously captured in his allegory of the cave. In the allegory of the cave, Plato has Socrates describe a group of people who have lived chained to the wall of a cave all of their lives, facing a blank wall. The people watch shadows projected on the wall by things passing in front of a fire behind them, and begin to ascribe forms to these shadows. According to Plato's Socrates, the shadows are as close as the prisoners get to viewing reality. He then explains how the philosopher is like a prisoner who is freed from the cave and comes to understand that the shadows on the wall do not make up reality at all, as he can perceive the true form of reality rather than the mere shadows seen by the prisoners. The allegory may be related to Plato's Theory of Forms, according to which the forms or ideas, and not the material world of change known to us through sensation, possess the highest and most fundamental kind of reality. Only knowledge of the forms constitutes real knowledge. Like this, the material world as it seems to us is not the real world, but only an image or copy of the real world." She explained slowly so we all could understand the theories of Plato. I remembered something of what we learned in high school, but that was only a slight idea. That Plato guy was a little bit crazy but so rational at the same time.

"Okay, so you're saying that you think exactly like Plato." Chuck said looking at her intently, as if he was questioning her.

"Kind of. I only take him as a reference of what I personally think." Freckles replied and Chuck nodded.

"So then, what is that you personally think?" I asked intrigued, looking fixedly at her. This made her look at me, as I wanted. Why did I want that? I didn't know, I just wanted to see her eyes.

"I often start with a question. You always have to start with a question if you wanna think over a certain topic." Freckles answered.

"The essence of philosophy." Brian commented with his sight lost, probably because he was remembering something he learned at college.

"Are we in the presence of the new Plato?" Joey asked with eyes wide open to try to add humor to this deep debate. Of course, everybody laughed.

"Yes, you are." Freckles replied laughing and making a face of superiority.

"Where is your robe?" I asked amused and she laughed and suddenly covered her body with the rug and I laughed out loud.

"This is the modern and fluffy robe!" Freckles exclaimed in a silly way and everybody laughed, including Chuck.

"That's cool, I want one too. I'll be the modern Aristotle." I said amused. "Okay, what is that question with which you start?"

"Well the question is... How often we close our eyes not to see and how often to see something better?" Freckles asked and everybody, including me, thought about this fact. She had a point. "That's because we don't see things as they are, but we see things as we are. And when we see things as we are, each person is creating their own world and reality within this big world we call Earth. Every friend, every person who is part of our life, every memory, every dream and every fear represent a world and reality in us, a world that may not have been created if we hadn't known them." She started explaining as her voice was raising because of her excitement. She was looking at me while explaining and I liked that. "So, I don't think the world is the way we like to think it is. I don't think it's one solid world, but many, thousands upon thousands of them, as many as there are people, because each person perceives the world in his or her own way; each lives in his or her own world. Sometimes they connect, for a moment, or more rarely, for a lifetime, but mostly we are alone, each living in our own world, suffering our small deaths."

"Welcome to the tragicomedy and the Existentialism." Brian commented with a slight smile.

"Existentialism?" Joey asked disturbed, as if he had no idea what he was talking about. I smiled amused not because I was mocking him, but because I was in the same situation than him. I had no idea what Brian was talking about.

"Yeah, it's a philosophical movement that begins with the human subject; not merely the thinking subject, but the acting, feeling, living human individual; a sense of disorientation and confusion in the face of an apparently meaningless or absurd world; based on anguish, hope, grief, melancholy, longing for eternity and the meaning of life. Like Kierkegaard, who proposed that each individual, not society or religion, is solely responsible for giving meaning to life and living it passionately and sincerely." Brian replied as if it was something really obvious, but not in an arrogant way.

"Bro, how do you know all of that stuff? What are you?" Joey asked impressed, looking at Brian in an admiring way as Brian laughed, looking down.

"I'm just studying that stuff. Now if you talk to me about theatre or all of that, I'm just a zero." Brian replied in a humble way.

"I don't care what you say, you're a fucking genius." Joey exclaimed, still admiringly.

"I am not..." Brian replied still looking down, apparently feeling shy. I smiled amused because it was weird to see him being so shy.

"Yes, he is, Joey." Freckles commented with a sweet smile, looking at Brian.

I noticed how Brian blushed and remained silent, apparently very flattered and uncomfortable. I frowned slightly because... Why would he blush like that? I mean, Freckles had that ability to make people blush, because she made me blush several times and that was something hard to get. But... Every time I blushed because of Freckles was because she was saying something really nice to me and I had feelings for her, so it was something really good to hear... But... Brian?

"Well, so, as I was saying..." Freckles started talking, but now she wasn't looking at me. "We don't see things as they are, but we see things as we are." She repeated. "So, if we see things not as they are but as we are; I do think that happiness is internal, not external. Therefore it doesn't depend on what you have, but what we are. Therefore, the man is the architect of his own happiness, of his own reality. That's why I said that your point of view isn't so different than mine, Darren." She said now looking at me with a smile and I, of course, smiled back at her. "In short, I think we are more than what is presented as reality. And I think that we must try to discover ourselves; find ourselves in ideas, thoughts, in thinking about our origins. And this isn't about becoming philosophers; it's about trying to use the tools of the discipline, such as the great capacity of analysis, with a little imagination. Thinking, as something that cannot be separated from human nature; since in the end, the whole history of man is the product of thought. So I think the enormous problems facing the world today are not about not thinking, but the most basic of acts which is living. In conclusion, I believe that we are our memories; we are that chimerical museum of forms, that heap of broken mirrors. I firmly believe that death is a life lived, and life is a death that comes. And that's our reality." Freckles said smiling widely, still looking at me.

"That's impressive." I said smiling, looking deeply into her eyes.

"You are all weird." Chuck commented and Freckles giggled. "I stick with Brian's theory; it's the most coherent of them all. Summing up, Brian and I could be catalogued in the same philosophy of life, a rational and sane one; while Freckles and Darren are catalogued in other type of philosophy of life, an irrational, nonsensical, almost oneiric linked to the subjective one. And then we have Joey... a magical philosophy of a parallel life." Chuck said amused and we all laughed.

"My theory is the most awesome." Joey commented proudly.

They started talking about random things but I wasn't listening too much. I was only looking at Freckles, like fascinated. Yes, I was fascinated with her, with her new personality and her new appearance. She was really cool and yeah, she was still perfect to me. Yes, I wasn't in love with her, but I had to admit I was really interested in her, in knowing more about all the awesome things of her. Alright, I wasn't interested in her to get a love affair or something, no, I didn't want that; but I was interested in becoming like her best friend. I only paid attention to the current conversation when I heard Freckles asking something uncomfortable to Chuck.

"So, Chuck, how's Jen? You guys are still dating, right?" Freckles asked and I looked at her alarmed, biting my lower lip. Chuck just looked at her agape, raising his eyebrows and stunned because of the question.

"Oh." Was all that Chuck replied before an uncomfortable silence in which Freckles didn't realize her question was uncomfortable. "No, we're not dating." Chuck finally answered and I saw how Freckles, suddenly, felt nervous and awkward.

"Oh! I'm sorry... I didn't know." Freckles apologized, apparently feeling embarrassed.

"It's okay." Chuck replied with a friendly smile. "Jen and I aren't dating anymore, but we're fine. We're still like family."

Oh wow, that surprised me. I thought that Chuck was going to be hard on her, but he was friendly instead. He even smiled and it wasn't a forced smile. He even explained Freckles something. Chuck and Jen broke up last year; not because they had a dispute, but because they realized they weren't in love with each other, that they loved each other very much but only as friends or more like the love of a brother and a sister. They were indeed fine and they had an excellent relationship now, even better than before. Even Chuck was dating someone else and Jen knew about this because Chuck and Jen were used to tell each other everything, like best friends. Even Jen was friends with Chuck's girlfriend or whatever that girl was for him, because he said he didn't want to label their relationship. But it was still uncomfortable to hear a question like that; only because of the fact that Freckles still didn't know a lot of things that happened in the last year as I didn't know a lot of things that happened to Freckles in the last year. Anyway, I was glad that Chuck was being friendly with Freckles. Maybe he already liked the new Freckles. So now they kept talking about other random things, as I was just thinking about Chuck and Freckles. Hopefully Chuck was going to love Freckles again.

"It's really late! Brian, I think we should come back." Freckles suddenly said when she checked the time.

"Yes, sure." Brian agreed as he and Freckles stood up. I looked at them kind of alarmed.

"What if you spend the night here?" I asked abruptly.

I didn't know why I had this need to be near Freckles all the time, it was ridiculous. But I really, really wanted her to stay. This was weird: Joey looked at me a bit amused; Chuck looked at me suspiciously, frowning slightly; Brian looked at me surprised, raising his eyebrows, then looking at Freckles in the same way, then looking down; and Freckles looked at me frowning and amused, smiling slightly. Did I look desperate or something? I didn't like the way everybody was looking at me.

"That would be great, but we really need to go. You know, I have to take a shower and I need clothes and everything." Freckles replied giggling softly.

"You can take a shower here, and I could give you some clothes that..." I started saying very desperate.

But I stopped abruptly because of the way everybody was looking at me. They were looking at me even more suspiciously and stunned and I realized I sounded like a crazy and possessive guy. And this wasn't right considering that Freckles and I were friends. Just friends, not even best friends. Crap, this was very awkward; I totally made a fool of myself.

"I really think I'll come back to my room." Freckles said firmly, but still in a friendly way and smiling. "I have a routine that I broke today that is to train and work out every morning, besides doing my assignments and practicing my drawing skills. I'm not complaining because I had a really good time here, but I think it's time to return to my daily activities." Freckles explained as I was looking down, still embarrassed, nodding. "Maybe tomorrow we can come back."

"Yeah, that would be great." I said quietly, still looking down.

"Alright, then. So..." Freckles said smiling and grabbing her purse.

"Oh yeah, I'll open the door." I said quickly and I walked to the door.

Freckles and Brian followed me after they greeted Joey and Chuck. Once there, I opened the door and I greeted Brian with fists hit and then it was turn to greet Freckles. Brian walked outside as Freckles looked at me with a friendly smile.

"So, let me know if you have plans for tomorrow; if you don't have maybe we can come over here, if you want." Freckles said.

"Yeah, of course. I'd like if you come over here." I said smiling back at her.

"Good, then. Just let me know." Freckles said and I nodded.

Then she hugged me and of course I hugged her back. She wrapped her arms around my waist as I wrapped my arms around her back, touching slightly her short hair with my fingers. I didn't want to stop hugging her, it just felt nice. I actually didn't want to let her go. Man, why the fuck was I feeling this way with her? I shouldn't. I was acting like an idiot: doing and saying things I wasn't supposed to do or say. The worst was when she kissed my cheek and our eyes met. Stupid, stupid, stupid feeling. I was just confused because it's been a while since the last time a girl was so nice and affective with me for real; it was only because of that; besides the fact she was also funny, sweet, smart, sexy… No. Stop, I should stop.

"Have a good night, Darren." She said kindly. Then my gaze drifted to her lips. 'You idiot, look up!' I said in my mind and so I did.

"Yes, you too." I answered smiling warmly at her.

Like this, Freckles and Brian left my apartment. I closed the door and as soon as I did it, I noticed that Chuck was looking at me very fixedly and serious. This couldn't mean a good thing. Oh no, what now? What now, man? He shouldn't be looking at me that way.

"We have to talk." Chuck said almost severely.