Plot outline: Crossover fic

Plot outline: Crossover fic. Jeff Dunham and Puppets are thrown into the Naruto-verse via magical swirly portal in a parking lot. When the puppets come to life due to the portal's magic and scattered throughout the Naruto world, Jeff has to find all of them before all hell breaks loose. But then again, with this bunch, that's not gonna happen.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Jeff Dunham and company

In response to copper alchemist: Sweet Daddy Dee is on the way. Be patient. It's hard to keep all of them going at once.

Victor, meet Sakura.

Haruno Sakura was finishing up her rounds. The hospital was unusually busy that day. She walked out and headed towards Tsunade's office. She needed to clean out her desk in search of the Sake bottles again. As she approached, she heard commotion and then a yell from inside. She hesitated. It was not Tsunade. She opened the door to find what appeared to be ventriloquist puppets and something akin to a monkey arguing and a teenage boy around her age shaking in a corner.

"Are you alright?" She asked. He yelped and held his arms in front of him. "Relax, I'm here to help."

"I'M NOT CRAZY!"

"Alright then, let's get you out of here…" Sakura pulled him up and dragged him out. "What are those things?" Sakura asked.

"Puppets. That came alive." The boy whimpered.

'Ok then.' Sakura thought. "I'm Haruno Sakura. What's your name?"

"Victor."

"Ok Victor-san, Let's take you to Tsunade-sama."

"But I've already seen her." Sakura stopped.

"We're waiting for Mr. Dunham to get back."

"That changes things a bit." At that moment, Victor's stomach let out a terrific growl. "Hungry?"

"A bit."

"Do you like Barbeque?"

"Yeah."

"Then come on." Sakura proceeded to drag Victor away to the Korean BBQ.

Reunion. Sort of.

"Gaara!" Naruto jumped up and attempted to glomp the sand ninja but was met with a wall of sand. "Hehehe…"

"Naruto what are you doing?"

"Well, hehe, it's a bit of a funny story actually. You see, last week there was the puppet on my doorstep named Walter and he's a real asshole. Then Fuzzy-brow and Gai-sensei came along and totally got told, right? Then Hinata-chan came along and fainted so I took her to the hospital. But then she walked out and Walter says she faints because she likes me so now I'm trying to find her and it's not working so well." He finished.

Gaara stared at him blankly. "You do realize that I didn't follow a single word of that?"

"Uh…I'm trying to find Hinata-chan?"

"Better." Gaara moved from leaning against the tree.

"You don't look too good. Worse than usual." Gaara gave him a withering look.

"Whaaattt?" Naruto whined.

"A purple thing was loose in Suna. It stressed everyone out."

"Hey, hey, How about I take a break from trying to get in to see Hinata-chan and I treat you to ramen?" Naruto grinned his stupid grin.

"Hn." They both started walking.

Hinata slowly emerged from behind another tree, bright red. She watched as Naruto and Gaara walked away, Naruto chattering happily and Gaara looking faintly amused. Gaara glanced back at her and was about to alert Naruto when she shook her head violently, turning an even deeper shade. He shrugged and continued listening to Naruto.

Teenager girls and their silly notions.

Jeff and the team of ANBU stopped outside of what looked like a root cellar. "This is Orochimaru's hideout." One spoke. They all began taking out various weapons.

"Uh, what's going on?"

"Orochimaru is a S-Ranked criminal Dunham-san." Another explained. "We could easily be killed."

"THEN WHY AM I HERE?" Jeff exclaimed.

"Quiet! Someone will hear us!"

"Too late." A voice from above called. A teenage girl with red hair dropped down from a tree. "Leaf Village ANBU eh? You're here to take away my Sasuke-kun, aren't you?!" She yelled. The reason why Karin was not in Jugo's holding cell was Orochimaru had convinced Kabuto to tell him where he had put her. Apparently he thought she would be useful in the future.

"Er…Not really. We're after a Jalapeño. On a Stick." Jeff said. "And possibly a cockroach. Also on a stick."

"So you've come to take those away? Not my Sasuke-kun?"

"Yeah. Basically." Karin thought about that for a minute. Sasuke-kun didn't like the Jalapeño. If she got rid of it, maybe Sasuke-kun would finally give in!

"Follow me!"

José paused. "Did you hear that my buggy amigo?"

"No. What you hear?"

"It sounded like Señor Jeff, crying like a senorita."

The cockroach's antennae twitched. "Indeed it does."

"Who?" Sasuke and Suigetsu asked together.

"One of our amigos." The cockroach shrugged. "He's come to get us out of here."

"So you guys are leaving?" Suigetsu asked.

José did his best at shrugging. "Maybe. The idiot will probably get killed before we can go."

Neeerom!

Peanut sat sulking, the beer can being taken away by Walter. He ignored Bubba J and Melvin arguing, Walter scowling at them all and decided to have a look around. He first went over to the desk. "Geeze, what a slob!" He muttered. He poked around. Then he felt something that moved. He pushed it up and a white bottle dropped into his hand. He smelled it. It smelled ok. It had liquid in it. He took a swig. "This stuff is g-g-g-good!" He down the entire bottle. Ten minutes later he started giggling.

"What are you laughing at you crackhead?" Walter snapped.

"This stuff is good." Peanut giggled and tried to walk over to Walter, but stumbled in the process.

"You're drunk. A drunk crackhead." Melvin and Bubba stopped arguing to watch the intoxicated woozle start hiccupping and stagger around.

"You should try some." He slurred. It was then he passed out.

"Musta been too strong fer im." Bubba shrugged.

"Good deduction Beer lad."

"Will yew quit callin me that?"

Jashin hates talking skeletons.

Hidan finally pulled Achmed off his head. "YOU AGAIN!"

"You know, you never answer me when I ask you whether or not you get virgins."

"I DON'T GIVE A FLYING –censor- ABOUT VIRGINS!"

"You're gay, aren't you?"

"THAT IS NONE OF YOUR –censor- BUSINESS!"

"I get 72. You're just jealous." Achmed cackled. Hidan didn't respond, but merely began praying to Jashin as to what to do to the bomber.

"Sit. Don't move." Hidan threw Achmed down as he began to pray. After half an hour, Achmed started getting bored. There was only one response in Hidan's brain. "Kill the bastard. You will receive 73 virgins." Hidan looked up to see Achmed had fallen asleep. He picked up the skeleton and threw him down and started the ritual.

"Well shit." Achmed muttered.

"I told you it would be too small." Fi said as Deidara struggled to fasten his pants button. He tried everything that a woman would do when trying to fit into her 'skinny' pants. Not fitting. "I could get you a new pair?" Fi suggested. He growled. "I've got to go do laundry." She excused herself and quickly got up before Deidara got too angry at his pants not fitting.

"Isn't there anything you can do with these?" He growled, giving up laying on the bed.

"I've done everything I can." She said fearfully.

"Fine! Dismissed." He snapped. Fi quickly left the room and ran down the hall. Surely the clothes would be done soaking by now.

Tobi passed her in the hall. She looked quite rattled. "Sempai, it's not good form to scare the maids." Tobi poked his head into Deidara's room to get a large clay object pitched at him. "So violent." The second one collided with his head and nearly took off his mask. "YOU FOOL!" Tobi shrieked in a voice that was definitely not Tobi's and ran off covering his face.

"What the hell?" Deidara wondered aloud at Tobi's reaction.

Alright, Review, please? I like getting feedback from you guys. It lets me know if the chapter was a hit or miss. Next chapter: José get rescued (finally). Sakura's list of admirers grows and Ino pig shows up, will Achmed live to be saved by Jeff? Will Peanut ever be sober in this fic? Will Naruto finally find Hinata? Find out next time in Pisses Me Off.