Plot outline: Crossover fic. Jeff Dunham and Puppets are thrown into the Naruto-verse via magical swirly portal in a parking lot. When the puppets come to life due to the portal's magic and scattered throughout the Naruto world, Jeff has to find all of them before all hell breaks loose. But then again, with this bunch, that's not gonna happen.

DISCLAIMER: I do not own jefafa and company or naruto.

We're Not dead yet!

Achmed's Reasonably shitty day.

Achmed stomped down the hallway. It was bad enough that he had been thrown down the hallway no less than ten times the day before, but now he couldn't find anyone. Well, anyone except a certain maid.

"You, lowly servant of mega-bitch, I demand you tell me where everyone has gone." Achmed stared up at Fi. The maid recoiled a bit.

"I do not know Achmed-Sama." Fi resisted the urge to kick him.

"You should know. After all, are you not the blonde idiot's concubine?" Fi stared at him in utter shock. She mouthed wordlessly while Achmed wondered impatiently what was wrong. It was then Kisame chose to walk in.

"I put some money in my coat pocket. Did you find it in the laundry?" Kisame stared at the scene. "What's going on here?" Kisame's eyes narrowed. He had observed the skeleton at dinner the previous night and didn't particularly like him. It appeared to the shark man as if the skeleton was harassing the maid.

"Oh, there is someone. Goodbye blonde's concubine!" Achmed walked toward Kisame only to be grabbed by the blue man.

"What?" Kisame knew for a fact that Koko would destroy the Skeleton herself if she heard him question any of her maids' honor. In fact, a few of the members would along with some of the male servants.

"I am not!" Fi finally managed to speak, completely red in the face.

"Oh, ok." Achmed answered sarcastically.

"I assure you, our maid are off limits to members of the Akatsuki." Kisame looked him dead in the eye. "And I assure you if that you repeat what you said, you will be disassembled by Sasori." Kisame threw Achmed out of the room.

Achmed swore. He got up and wobbled off to the kitchen. When he got there, he found the Leader sipping a mug of hot chocolate with mini marshmallows. "Where are all the other infidels?" He demanded.

"First, respect. Second, it's too early in the morning to be annoyed by members. Third, They are on missions." Pein twitched slightly at the Skeleton still being there.

"I want some bombs."

"You have to buy those on your own."

"Some organization you are. Al-Quaeda gave us our own bombs."

"We're not Al-Quesadilla! If you wish for funding for bombs, go ask Kakuzu."

"You fool! It is Al-Quaeda! You will show respect or may Allah send a Blue Prius to run you over you metallic bastard!" Achmed roared, pointing dramatically at Pein. Pein sighed as he rubbed his temples. This skeleton was worse of a headache than Hidan.

"Achmed, meet Kakuzu." Pein dragged the skeleton down the hallway and banged on a door on the end.

"What?!" Kakuzu flung open the door. He backed up a little when he saw it was Pein.

"Kakuzu, Achmed, Achmed, Kakuzu." Pein shoved the skeleton towards Kakuzu and stalked off. He needed more hot chocolate.

Awkward…

The only thing running through Hinata's mind were the words Don't Faint. Naruto put both hands on her shoulders. Don't Faint, Don't Faint!

"Hinata-chan! I've been looking everywhere for you! I even got beat up by Neji while looking for you!" Naruto gave his stupid grin which looked demonic with the greenish light from the glo-stick that Gaara had thrown in.

Hinata squeaked. Don't faint! Don't faint!

"Anyways, I hear you like me. At first I was kinda weirded out, but I thought about it and I came to a conclusion." Naruto continued.

Hinata was about to cry. This was so embarrassing. More embarrassing than fainting all the time. But here comes the rejection, She thought miserably.

"Would you like to go out for ramen with me sometime?" Naruto was still grinning his stupid grin.

"W-what? R-ramen with you?" Hinata was taken aback. She had thought for sure that he was going to tell her to stop stalking him, that he was in love with Sakura and to leave him alone. Ramen?

Naruto's grin faded. "I mean if you don't want to, that's fine." He looked down in embarrassment. Maybe the old fart had been wrong. Maybe he'd just embarrassed himself and upset her! Naruto was about to go into panic mode. Shit!

"N-no, I would l-love to!" Hinata stuttered, face bright red. Naruto smiled again and hugged her. It was then Hinata lost control and fainted again.

"Hinata-chan!"

-sob-

"I think I'll go now." Victor jumped up and made a break for it. He had had enough of this insanity!

"Victor-san!" Sakura called after him as he ran down the street, knocking people over in the process. He thought he had lost the pink haired girl as he ran into a fenced off area. He ran through the trees and brush, creating small tears in his clothes as he went. He paused to catch his breath and his instincts made him jerk back as a kunai flew into the tree where his hand had been. He just about pissed himself.

Victor tried to run again, but was quickly pinned to the tree by various weapons. He was about to cry. From his left emerged a girl dressed in white and red with two buns on either side of her head.

"Who are you and what is your business here?" She demanded. Victor only responded by crying.

"I don't know!"

"Tenten, what have we said about making random strangers cry?" Gai Sensei appeared behind her.

"Don't unless they're wielding vital information." Tenten replied dully.

"Good, now," Gai turned and gave his legendary 'nice guy' pose. "Who might you be young man?"

"!" Victor said in one breath between sobs.

"Portal? You mean like the one that keeps dropping girls out of it claiming to be Neji's lover, sister or cousin?" Tenten looked at Gai.

"Might be. We should take him to Tsunade-sama."

"I'VE ALREADY BEEN TO SEE HER!" Victor yelled.

"Wait, puppets you say? Didn't you say something about Naruto-kun having a ventriloquist doll that was alive?" Tenten asked.

"Ah, yes. Ahahaha…I nearly forgot!" Gai beamed at Tenten.

Victor sobbed again. He wasn't ever getting out of here.

Silly ANBU, tricks are for kids!

Sasuke was genuinely amazed at the sheer stupidity of the ANBU. They hadn't detected his or Suigetsu's presence yet, and it had been a day! The pepper and cockroach were talking rapidly in Spanish and Dunham was looking rather relieved and a bit disconcerted with the return of the two. Suigetsu grumbled occasionally in the water bottle, but other than that things were going smoothly. No Psycho stalkers, no insane man-bitches and most importantly, no pedophiliac snake men. All he had to look forward to was meeting back up with a certain pink haired girl and maybe even the knuckle head.

They were almost at the gate when the cockroach said something to the one man who was not a ninja. "Jeff, is Peanut also here?"

"Yes, he is actually and Walter, Bubba J and Melvin are too."

"What happened to the Pimp?" The jalapeño asked.

"You know, I have no idea. Come to think of it, I don't think I brought him with is that night."

"Señior, you say Peanut is here?" The jalapeño asked.

"Yeah. Why?" Jeff asked warily.

"That purple bastard." The jalapeño muttered.

Sasuke's curiosity kicked in. Purple? He had seen some unusual things working with Orochimaru, but this might prove to be interesting.

Walter's fun.

The three puppets woke up with enormous hangovers. Bubba was used to this however and grabbed another beer. "Awww, wassa matter wit chu guys? A lil hangover got chu down?" The redneck crowed. The other two threw things at him which made even more noise. Walter laughed. This was too good to pass up.

"Hey! Shut up geezer!" Peanut snapped, but immediately grabbed his head. "Pain!" He squeaked.

"You cause me pain purple one!" Melvin whined. Walter cackled again. This was fun! Bubba finished his beer and started another. Walter got up and began crushing the can. The two howled in pain.

"What's going on in here?" Shizune threw open the door, causing light to flood into the darkened room and the door made a loud band. The two puppets nearly died from the assault on their eyes and ears.

"What the Helllll?" Melvin moaned.

"IT BURNS!" Peanut howled as he dove under the table.

"Heh he! Dumbasses."

Yes yes, short like Napoleon Bonaparte. But it gets better once Jeff-fafa gets back to Konoha. And whatever happened to our ANBU who went for a whiz and didn't come back? Hmmm…. We'll find out next chapter! In the meantime, REVIEW!!!! Please? Stay tuned!

And also, keep your eyes peeled for a spin off of Pisses me Off, coming out soon! It features the most unlikely characters you would think of. Hahaha….