A/N: There may be some inconsistencies in the details of River's reading abilities-I caught one in the previous chapter that would have negated this chapter. (It has been fixed)

A/N 2:It is possible this will be my last update for a *very* long time. I am hiking the appalachian trail and will not be writing in that time period. I'm hoping that the motivation for this story will still be here when I am done!

River was lying on the floor of the lounge area in the galley, drawing a rather intricate image of Persephone's skyline. Mal's burnt orange pulsed from his bunk, regular and slow. He was asleep. Zoe's bright blue mixed with spots of bright red was erratic but she too was in her bunk. The spots of red used to cover the blue, but now, now they were fading and meshing with the blue creating a lovely purple that surrounded the blue. She wouldn't tell Zoe she was starting to heal. That would defeat the purpose.

Kaylee's pink was brighter than usual. She was in her bunk and-River's mouth puckered slightly-so was Simon. He was practically neon blue. River dropped her pencil and clapped her hands to her ears, wishing it could help. "Sisters are not meant to be tortured in this way," River moaned to herself as she scrabbled upwards without the use of her hands, leaning back against the base of the couch. Sure, she had witnessed them in foreplay once, but she had retreated fairly quickly. To her later disgust, her reading didn't stop when Kaylee and Simon started.

"Sisters ain't what?" a low growly voice came from above her. Jayne was standing there, towel draped around his neck, looking down at her.

"Simon and Kaylee are brighter than normal," River informed him. There was a pause as he stared at her blankly.

"An' that means…" he finally said.

"They're copulating," River finally said, blushing.

"Y'mean sexin'?"

"Yes."

"Aw, hell girl, I know how ta distract ya-" Jayne leaned down and picked River up and started towards his bunk.

River buried her face in his neck. He smelled sweaty with a hint of the cologne he always wore. Her tongue darted out, tasting the curve between his neck and his shoulder. Tasted of Jayne, of his essence. The man shivered as he opened his bunk and let River clamber down.

"Don't know how ya do it, girly," Jayne growled as he entered his bunk, closing his hatch.

"How I do what?" River asked, closing the space between them and twining herself about him.

"How ya can start me so quickly. An' that flexin' thing you're doin' now," Jayne said, taking hold of her leg which was currently wrapped around his hips as River held herself up on him.

"I danced as a child," River murmured. "You played hoop ball and taught the bullies how to fly," she angled her head, hoping Jayne would finally kiss her, distract her from the colors across the hall.

"How in the fu xiu ma fen would you know that?" Jayne said, his warm hand that had been holding her thigh suddenly clamping shut before letting her go. He extracted himself and River suddenly found herself standing on her own two feet.

She frowned. "I wanted to know about your childhood so I looked for it in your memories," She finally said, having discerned where she had learned the information.

"Gorram it girl, what have I said 'bout creepifyin things?" Jayne growled at her. "Readin' my memories is creepifyin'!"

River looked at him oddly. "But it helps me know how to-" River smiled slightly as she paused before finishing the sentence, "pleasure you."

Jayne shuddered. "Still, It's mighty creepifyin! I won't have it. You can't go 'round reading other peoples' thoughts an memories willy nilly!"

"But I only do it to help!"

"Done told ya, girly, it's right creepifyin' and I won't have it. Get. out."

"But-"

"Out! B'fore I gorram hurt you!"

River scrambled out.

***

"Something wrong with your sister?"

Simon glanced up from where he was sanitizing his surgical kit. Zoe had somehow gashed her arm pretty deeply in the last job and had needed several stitches. Mal was standing in the door way, arms crossed.

"I haven't-there hasn't been anything I've seen-"

"Well, I think you'd better get on thinkin on it. Somethin' ain't right 'tween her an' my hired hand. They have ta work together an'it didn't go well today. We don't want nothin' worse than what Zoe got. Fact is, we don't want Zoe gettin' hurt on account o' your sister having a meltdown. Fix it."

Simon stared at Mal. "I'll do my best. If I could somehow get access to a brain scanner, it might be bene-"

"No. Do it here. Fix her. We need a pilot and reader who can be accounted for. Don't want her spookin' off my gunhand, thanks very much. Chow's in fifteen."

Simon sight and slumped over his tools. What on earth was he supposed to do? He thought he had found the good medication for his sister. What if she was in that .5% that seemed to take to the medication and lost the benefit after a few days?

But this wasn't a few days later. She'd started taking it nearly 10 months ago. There had been no instances where the user had suddenly stopped benefitting past three weeks into the medication.

And Simon wasn't quite sure what Mal had meant. River hadn't seemed too off from normal. A little quieter and withdrawn perhaps, but Simon had just attributed that to being a teenage girl. Of course, he hadn't gone on the mission. River would not have either, if he'd had a choice.

But as he had been shown repeatedly, his sister could handle herself, better than the rest of them. He didn't have to like it. And now? Well, now it seemed as if something had happened. If it wasn't the medications, well what could it be?

***

River didn't know which colors she was. She never was able to see herself from an external perspective. She had tried. Failed many times. She lifted herself further, balancing yet more precariously on the rungs of the catwalk. Jayne was up and so she wanted to fly. Stealthy, perhaps like a bat. Because if she flew and he saw her, she would fall to the ground, wings clipped and unable to get up again.

But if her wings were clipped, how could she protect her flock? She had already failed. What would come next? She didn't understand why he had. She was doing what she had to do. If she knew how they would react to particular situations based upon their memories, she could protect all of them. But now, now she was endeavoring to show her big man that she would not read their memories. And Zoe was hurt. She couldn't fly because her wings were clipped. And if she couldn't fly, the others couldn't glide.

Only Jayne could give her back her wings, but he was hiding from her. He was flashing between brown and bright red. She barely caught glimpses of his normal dark red.

"Meimei?"

River looked down from where she was balanced. Simon was standing in the cargo hold, a few feet from the stairs. He was all dark red. Simon was afraid, afraid that she would fall. Even with clipped wings, she couldn't fall from this perch. It was instinctual now and you couldn't stop it.

"Geigei." River stepped gracefully down from her perch and approached her brother.

"River, Mal told me you were having some trouble at the job?"

"Clipped wings. The important one clipped my wings and he won't give them back!" River reached out to her brother, grasping at him and he pulled her into a hug. She clung, hanging onto him, sniffling.

"Sign of weakness," She said after a moment, pulling away. "Tears cannot be trusted, I have to be strong." She swiped hand over her eyes.

"Meimei what has caused this?" Simon asked. She seemed to be having some trouble in speaking clearly, but nothing too much worse than usual. But something was wrong, clearly wrong.

But-wait. She had been unusually cheerful and clearspoken in the last month and a half. He hadn't questioned it, too glad to get even that little piece of his sister back. But now-it appeared that something had taken away this improvement. The question was-why?

"The important one, he doesn't think its right. Thinks its wrong that I know of hoopball and brutish acts to bullies. Thinks I ought not to fly, not to cover my flock with my wings," River turned and dashed back to her room, eyes filling with tears.

Simon stared after her. What on earth was she talking about. The important one? Well, that had to be Mal. He must have said something to her, said something that was impeding what she felt she needed to do.

***

"What did you do to her?" Simon stood in the entry way to the bridge.

"What did I do? I'm the one who told you her brainpan'd come loose in the first place. Why would you think I did something?" Mal had swiveled around from the expanse of sky in front of him to face the younger man.

"Well, it had to have been you. She said the important one. I can't think of anyone else that could mean."

"Well, surely as that's a compliment, I don't aim to be acceptin' it. I didn't say nothing to your sister, Doc an' I would remind you that it's your job to keep her in check. I need her safe and sane. The safety of my crew depends on it."

"I-well, if it isn't you, who could it be?" Simon asked, a frown creasing his brow.

"Well, it ain't my job to puzzle this out, but you might think on the fact as there's only so many people on this ship."

Mal was facing the controls again, effectively cutting Simon off. Simon turned and walked back down to the galley. He found himself mystified. If Mal wasn't the important one, who in the gorram world was?

"Doc, I gotta talk at ya," a growly voice spoke as Simon entered the galley. Simon jumped slightly. Jayne was standing, arms crossed, in the middle of the room.

"Yes?" Simon crossed his arms, leery of the bigger man. The two of them had never gotten along well and Simon wasn't sure why the mercenary would want to speak to him all of a sudden.

"Now, don't go to questionin' but I've been thinkin-"

"You have been thinking? What a surprise," Simon said, but stopped at a look.

"There's something what needs tellin. Your sister, doc, she can look at people's thinkin's. It ain't just here and now. That ain't right!" The bigger man looked furious.

"My sister, you are saying, has the ability to sift through memories?" 
 "I just said that!"

"Ah. Well, this shouldn't come as much of a surprise to you as we have already discussed this as a crew…" Simon said, confused. They had established River was a reader.

"Naw, it ain't jus' that. She can look at memories what's private an' historicized."

"Do you mean to tell me that she can look at something you did when you were young?"

"That's what I been sayin!"

Simon rubbed his face and then suddenly, something clicked.

"Did you-Did you say something about that to her?"

"Course I did-Didn't want her pokin' 'bout in my private memories!" Jayne said, a defensive and-was that worried?-expression on his face.

"Bu gan xiang xin, You." Simon sat down heavily.

"Me," Jayne asked, eyeing the younger man.

"You must be 'the important one' River talked about. I don't believe this. You are why she's been off recently, why Mal is blaming her for Zoe being hurt." Simon rubbed his face. "What on earth, how?" Simon found himself reduced to almost no words.

"I-er-there's-I need to be organizin' the cargo hold," Jayne said, standing and moving as fast as Simon had ever seen him move. He found himself sitting in the galley, wondering what on earth was going on between his sister and the 'public relations man' for twenty minutes until Kaylee bounced in and distracted him.

***

River Tam was hanging from the railing by her knees when Jayne stomped into the cargo hold. She had known he was coming, she could hear him all the way from the galley. Of course, she had made no move to disperse, as it was Jayne who was 'carefully' avoiding her rather than the other way around.

Jayne was looking up at her, mouth twisted. "Ya hafta do somethin' so dangerous?"

"Danger only in the eyes of the man who clipped my wings"

"Clip ya-whattaya mean?"

"Clipped my wings, told me to stop protecting everyone, stop making the important one happy."

Jayne stared at her, befuddled for a moment. "What'd I do?"

"Clipped my wings. Told me to stop using history to protect the present. Can't do my job, couldn't protect the warrior woman," River said as she turned her body and gracefully found her way to her feet.

Jayne stomped his way up the metal stairs, boots clanging. "I ain't never done told you not to do your job. I want you to do your job, I like being alive an' all."

"You took it all away the moment you said no. Power like no other, most important man!" River said, reaching out to him. He flinched and River's expression crumpled.

"Ya stopped lookin' in on my childhood?" Jayne asked for a moment.

River nodded. "But I gave up my wings. Can no longer be mother hen, have to run faster, fight harder to protect you. If I can't look at the memories, I don't know what you will do now! I can't know how to protect in certain situations," River said, trying to be as clear as possible.

The line between Jayne's eyes creased and deepened as he deciphered what she had just said. "Y'mean ta say-your mindreadin' of my-preferences-is same as keepin' us safe?"

River sagged with relief. "Yes, same thing. You asked me to stop and I stopped. But Warrior woman is hurt and most important man is in a firestorm!"

"A fire-what are you on about?"

"Death and mourning. Tears and lost steps, forever a loose brainpan."

"You sayin' that you'll always be a moonbrain who can't protect us if'n I don't let ya read into my memories?" Jayne shifted his stance, took a half step closer to River.

"Yes." It was the simplest thing she could say, most easily understood.

Jayne stared at her. "Do what ya gotta do. I s'pose I can deal. Can you jus' do it during jobs? Turn it off, like?"

River looked up at Jayne, a smile growing on her face. "Yes, yes. Big man is giving the bird her wings back? To fly only when she needs to?"

"Guess that's what I'm sayin'" Jayne scratched the back of his neck. River threw herself at him, wrapping her arms around his neck.

"Promises to learn by you in the present time, not from your past desires. Will keep it turned off unless I must be mother hen," River smiled up at Jayne. He had automatically wrapped his arms around her, but at her words, he tightened his grip, lifting her off the ground.

"Ren ci shen. I missed ya somethin' fierce, moonbrain,"

"And I was lost in the ocean without you, important one," River said, tracing the outline of Jayne's face with a finger.

Jayne shuddered slightly, closing his eyes and brushing his lips over River's who responded enthusiastically, wrapping her legs around his waist.

It was a few minutes before they separated. "You'll come tonight?" Jayne growled.

River smiled, lips curving. She kissed his forehead. "I would fly."