River froze for a moment, her eyes flying wide open. Her fingers tightened on Jayne's shoulders, where she had been balancing them.

"What's the matter, moonbrain?" he asked, breaking their kiss. He stroked her back as they sat in the cargo bay.

"Approximately twenty five point two seconds until my brother steps foot into the cargo hold. We ought to appear to be doing something inane."

"Ah," Jayne said, already shoving himself away from her and stepping to the opposite side of the walkway in the middle of the hold. This time, their transport was legal. It was also rather crowded. Cortex screens that were being distributed to the rim planets. He set about moving the crates, making sure all of them were accounted for.

"Meimei?" Simon's voice echoed from the entry closest to the medbay. Jayne grinned to himself. River's timing was never off. She had claimed it had been once or twice, but Jayne figured she was only ever off by points of a second.

"Here, Geigei," River's clear voice came from the catwalk above him. How in the world she'd gotten up there, he didn't want to know.

"River, what are you doing, balancing on one rail? That's dangerous!" Jayne looked up catching a flash of thigh in her skirt and grinned lecherously to himself. River glared down at him for a moment before turning back to her brother.

"Balancing helps me straighten my mind."
 "Do you need your medications? You must be bothering Jayne by now. Come down, please."

"She ain't botherin' me," Jayne said gruffly. "Quiet as a mouse. S'long as she don't say nothin' creepifying, I don't mind none."

"I have plenty of horror driven stories I can tell to Jayne. But I promise, I won't."

"Alright, meimei. But Mal came by and said to remind you that you have cooking duty tonight,"

"My memory is more powerful than the Captain's. I don't see why he feels the need to remind me of something I've already planned and timed out five days ago."

"I'm not sure. I'll be sure to remind him of your superior memory. River…" Simon was looking up at his sister, an expression of joy on his face.

"I know. It's good to be back. I missed you." There was a pause interrupted only by the scraping of one crate as Jayne shifted the cargo around. He didn't much like being around River and the Doc at the same time. Gave him an uncomfortableness he didn't want to examine.

"Jayne, can you make sure she doesn't kill herself?"

"Simon!"

"Yeah, sure, Doc. Don't want our psychic crazy girl to fall and die." Jayne looked up from his 'work' and nodded. Being agreeable to Simon had been part of River's plan in getting Jayne out of this alive. Jayne figured River was way smarter than him and he'd do well to follow her plan. They seemed to work, anyhow, better than Mal's for sure. As she'd told him once, she was the brains of the operation, now that she was all…less crazy.

Simon left the area almost as suddenly as he'd entered. Jayne stepped back and looked up. River was turned towards him and she jumped.

"Oof" he muttered as she landed lightly in his waiting arms before gently righting herself.

"Jayne man played his part extremely well. Shall be rewarded in five hours and twenty two minutes in his bunk. Dinner is in two hours and three minutes. My meal will take one hour and fifty six minutes to prepare. I have five minutes before I have to leave." River looked up at him through her eyelashes.

"Well why didn't you say that in the first place?" Jayne growled, bending to kiss her impertinent nose. He moved to her lips and River twined her arms around him.

"Have to stop."

"No. Don't have to. We can keep on goin'" Jayne snickered slightly and ran his hands over her slim hips.

"Timing is everything. Have to have dinner on table in order to have reward later."

"So long as the re-ward's good, I'll wait." Jayne stepped back from River who smiled cheerily up at him before scampering off to the galley.

***

River calculated the length of time it would be before anyone would wake as she lay on Jayne's chest, heart beat slowing. It would be another minute before either of them could move, so she used the time to compute how much time she had left in Jayne's bunk, before possible discovery.

Zoe would be in her bunk for approximately another nine hours. Mal another seven and Kaylee hadn't gone to bed yet. Ten, at least. So it would have to be Mal she would watch for. Six hours to spend with her mind being protected by Jayne. She snuggled into him, burying her face in the soft spot between his neck and shoulder.

"How long we got?" Jayne asked. She never put her head there until she had calculated it.

"Six hours. Mal will be up in seven and we must have a margin of error."

"K. We sleep now?" Jayne mumbled. He always was a sleeper. River smiled and snuggled into him.

"Yes big man. Time for closing of eyes and slipping into dreamworld."

"Mmph" Jayne managed to kiss her forehead before his breathing regulated. River closed her eyes and allowed Jayne-man's dreams to lull her into sleeping.

***

River woke to shouting. Jayne's arm and leg were draped over her, heavy and unmoving. She would not be going anywhere soon. There was shouting on the bridge. Shouting for her and Jayne. And Zoe and all of the crew. She pushed at Jayne.

"Mphgmm" Jayne rolled on his back. River sat up, freed of the pressure of his arm. She raised her rather tiny fist and thumped right down on his sternum. "OW, gorram it girl."

"You have to wake up. Can't sleep through. Have to wake up and defend the ship," River looked down at Jayne.

"Huh?" Jayne always managed to make her repeat herself more cogently.

"Warning flare hit the ship. We're coming up on a grave-picker. Have to be ready for the fight."

Jayne was already up, dressing quickly and River followed, tugging on her dress. He was first up his ladder and River quickly followed.

"River?! I thought you were in your bunk!"

"Simon." River said, turning around. Jayne had frozen in his spot but hadn't turned around.

"What-what are you doing in Jayne's bunk?"

"RIVER, get your slow pi gu up here. We're needin a fast getaway!" Mal's voice sounded unhappily from the bridge. She sent her brother an apologetic look, darted forward and caught Jayne's hand, dragging him onto the bridge. And indeed, they would be playing tag with another ship. Or, perhaps, hide and seek if they could find somewhere.

"We should play hide and seek!" River said as she slid into the pilot's seat. "Tag first, but hide and seek will be more successful."

"What's-"

"Means find a gorram moon or something to park Serenity on without bein' found, Mal," Jayne's voice was harsh, staccato syllables in the gray of the early morning. Mal glared at Jayne before heading to the co pilot seat and flicking through the cortex.

"Beaumonde's moon, Tantis, is the closest we got. Think we can outrun 'em there, Albatross?"

"87% chance of success," River said, moving the ship quickly in that direction. "What is behind us?"

"Old friend o' mine. Seems he thinks we ought to be chopped liver." Mal grumbled from the co-pilot's seat. Jayne stood in the back, watching River's moves. Simon was standing between him and River and he knew there was no mistake in where he'd chosen to stand. The man's spine was stiffer than normal and he kept throwing glares at Jayne.

He decided it was perhaps best to go and see if little Kaylee needed any help in running the engine room. He brought up the image of Kaylee in the engine room and thought on it, trying to get his reader girl to understand why he was disappearing.

"Kaylee would appreciate the appearance," River said out of the blue. Simon looked about ready to go back and Jayne didn't want to deal with that.

"She was talkin' to me, Doc. Sorry. Stay with your sister." Jayne left the room and jogged back to the engine room.

***

"We are Rabbits in a hole," River's voice sounded on the intercom, alerting the three people who weren't in the bridge to the fact that they had landed. A fact that had been fairly obvious to both Kaylee and Jayne as they stood in the engine room.

"Jayne, you comin?" Kaylee was standing in the door, a step out. Probably heading to find Simon. Jayne stood from his hunched position in the one corner of the engine room Kaylee hadn't been using.

"Time ta face the airlock," Jayne growled to himself, following Kaylee down the hall. River had promised no airlocking..but he couldn't help but think that it was the only ending possible.

As he followed Kaylee into the galley, he winced at the cold expressions from Mal and Simon. Zoe was stonefaced as usual but it weren't 'bout him, he figured. "No airlock!" River was standing in front of him, eyes wide and her lip was trembling. "I promised you, no airlock. Don't think it!"

"Aw hell, babygirl," Jayne growled, drawing River close. To hell with Simon and Mal, River needed comfort. She wrapped her arms around his middle and he rubbed a hand on her shoulders, refusing to look at the two men across the room from him.

He weren't about to take no liberties here. But he weren't about to back down either. Naw, he had to see to River first and foremost.

And she was yanked away by her brother. Jayne let her go, preferring his girl in one piece. "River get away from him!"

"Stop it!" River wrenched out of her brother's grasp. "Think you know what's best but you don't. Don't know what's right in front of your eyes." Mal was standing near Simon and River, his I'm the captain and you'll follow my orders or else look on his face. Jayne snorted. River had him wrapped around her little finger. She'd get no harm from him. It was Jayne what had to worry about the airlock.

"Little albatross-" Mal started, his brows forming one line. Jayne inched away, itching to put space 'tween himself and the captain. He'd normally stand up to a fight an' all that he felt was coming but here, he'd be riskin' too much. There was a teeny chance he'd get out of this, hide intact, which was, according to River, vital to her plan. Whatever that was. It made her happy which had the added effect of making him happy, so he went along with it.

"It'll be alright. The cap'n'll see reason." A quiet voice reassured him.

"Not so sure on that, Kaylee girl. River swears there'll be no airlockin' but I aim to keep as much space as possible 'tween me and the captain."

"For what it's worth, I think it's sweet, you an' River."

"Thanks." Jayne remained standing, warily eying the captain who was eying him back, as River and Simon quietly argued. This weren't quite the reaction he was expecting.

"Jayne, care to explain why you ain't in my face, justifying your actions?" Mal's cool quiet voice reached his ears.

"Don't much feel like arguin' Captain. River insists on me being alive and I'm thinking not arguin' with ya and staying over here are my best shots at that."

"I-well" Mal's arms swung around, as if they didn't know where to put themselves. "Lil' albatross here's made me promise not to kill you. So talk." There was that cold note in his voice, the one Jayne knew came from Serenity Valley.

It was the same as Zoe's voice when that topic came up.

And it sure as hell was creepifying when they weren'ttalkin' on that place. "Moonbrain-"

"How can you still call her that what with-" Simon had broken in, hearing him say that.

Jayne frowned and stared him down. "Moonbrain is what she is and moonbrain is what I'll call her. Don't mean I'm takin' advantage. Like her just fine even so." He glared at the two of them. River's slender hand was covering up her mouth, but her eyes were dancing at him as she drew her brother back into conversation.

He sighed. "Moonbrain here, up and decided that I was her soul mate or something, two months ago."

Glaring around the room, he saw Kaylee smile encouragingly at him while Zoe seemed not to care at all.

"An' I thought she was crazy, but she wouldn't be turned down. Turns out I kinda like her. Hell, Mal, I'm crazy for her. Do anything to protect her, keep her with me." Jayne shrugged, unwilling to say those words just yet even if he felt them.

"Well, I'm not saying the airlock isn't out of the question-yet-but I'll let ya by for that."

"Well-Good." Jayne managed, through a rather closed off windpipe. And that's when the ruckus started.

He didn't know what started it, but River started screaming as loud as she could. No words, just noise. "AH! MOONBRAIN!" Jayne shouted, clapping his large meaty hands over his ears, which dimmed the noise only slightly. She kept going and her brother looked rather bewildered. Jayne moved quickly and clamped one hand over her mouth, muting her and the other around her waist, lifting her. He glared at Simon before turning around and stomping down towards the passenger quarters where River's room was.

As soon as she was out of the galley, she stopped making noise but didn't make any effort to make it easier for him to carry her. He rolled his eyes. It was her style to do that. He continued to hold her until they reached the lounge area next to the medbay and dropped her on one of the couches.

"You chose a sweet bung of a time to go ape-shit on us, Moonbrain," he said, after a moment of tense silence between the two of them.

"Brother wasn't listening and was wasting my time. Had to waste his time."

Jayne snorted. She always did choose creative ways of making a point.

"Captain won't throw you out of the airlock. You convinced him of true feelings." Jayne glanced at her, frowning. "I also reminded him of my ability to take care of myself."

Laughter broke out in the passenger lounge and Jayne pulled River close, enjoying the sensation of her body pressed into his. "I'd a missed you something fierce if they'd managed to split us."

"Wouldn't happen. Sneak in to your heart and your bunk if they tried."

"Still." Jayne growled, trying to prove a point. River just kissed him and he smiled before turning the tables.