AN- Enjoy!

"Mama who bore me, mama who gave me no way to handle things--who made me so sad. Mama, the weeping. Mama, the angels. No sleep in heaven or Bethlehem." I gazed out into the auditorium, trying to pour my pain out in the words of the song.

I only got a few hours of sleep last night after Quinn and I finishing icing that last batch of cookies and cleaning the kitchen. She made me set my alarm for 7 and skip my morning exercise so that I could complete at least one REM cycle, which I had to agree was sensible. However, if I'd know what I would dream, I would have stayed awake. I dreamed of my mother again. At least this time, she wasn't tripping me. But this time, she kept watching me through a closed window. She could have opened the window. She could have walked through the open door. She wouldn't. Again, I awoke tingling.

I had decided to sing about it before the others arrived for glee practice. I admit, the lyrics are a bit on-the-nose, but I adore the show "Spring Awakening," and the tone of the song "Mama Who Bore Me" was perfect for my emotional state. The song ended, and as I turned to select a new backing track on my laptop, I saw Noah in the wings.

"You know, people worry about you when you sing songs that sad, Berry."

"They do? Which people?"

"Tina. Brittany. Quinn. Me."

Suddenly I felt a lot less lonely, but self-conscious. "What's wrong with singing sad songs?"

"Nothing. It's just lately, when you sing them, you seem sadder than the song. So what's wrong?"

"Besides the fact that I screwed everything up with you and Jesse and Finn?"

"You didn't screw things up with me. I mean, that video was lame. No offense, babe. Other than that, we're cool."

Part of me wanted to defend my artistic vision, but my sane side won for once, and I just laughed. "Really?" I was so relieved. "Well, on top of that mess, I keep having these dreams. As you know, I was raised without a mother. Well, lately, I keep having these dreams where I have one. At first in the dreams, she was always out to get me, tripping me or pushing me. Now, she's outside the house, and she just watches me from a distance and won't come closer. I just have this weird feeling."

"Your 'sixth sense' again, Berry? You know, if you really had a sixth sense, it would have warned you not to make that stupid video."

"Noah!" I exclaimed, smacking his arm.

"Hey, Berry! Didn't anyone ever tell you that violence is not the answer?"

In fact, I had often offered him that advice.

"Okay, you tried singing it out," Noah said. "Let's try dancing it out."

"Really?" I was very excited by his proposal. I had been impressed by Noah's willingness to attempt contemporary dance at my house, but for him to initiate it—and in a public place—was…hot.

"Let's try it to this song," he said, clicking a listing in my iTunes library. I was impressed, because he had chosen a very different song than we used in rehearsal, yet I could tell the counts of the dance could synch up pretty well.

Al Green crooned, "I'm…I'm so in love with you. Whatever you want to do is alright with me…" We swayed, and he spun me, and we moved apart. I ran to Noah, and he lifted me, just as we'd practiced. I held my position, and he lowered my body against his. We were swaying and reaching. I'd always thought of myself as a consummate professional when it came to dance, yet Noah's hands on my body made me shiver. "Let me be the one you come running to. I'll never be untrue. Ooo baby, let's, let's stay together. Loving you whether, whether times are good or bad, happy or sad…" And then I realized I was smiling, even laughing as we danced. The steps disappeared in that wonderful way they do when you've internalized them: like they're just happening, naturally. In the back of my mind, I heard the auditorium door clank open, but I didn't care. All too soon, the song was over. Again, I was suspended, rigid, over Noah. He lowered me to his body, and as we touched, I softened, until…

"SERIOUSLY?" Finn roared.

"It's called 'choreography,' Finnocence," Santana piped up. "Relax!"

Noah and I looked up to see most of the glee club sitting in the audience watching us. Jesse and Finn stood in the aisle. Finn looked angry, and Jesse just looked disappointed. I rolled off of Noah and hopped up to my feet.

"I would like to apologize. Not for this. Santana is correct: Noah was helping me practice the routine Brittany choreographed for the Glee club."

"That's a little too hot for regionals!" Mercedes exclaimed.

"Nah, that's just Al Greene working his mojo," Noah piped up. "With the actual song, people will probably manage to keep their clothes on."

Mercedes still looked skeptical. Tina just giggled. Wait, had Noah chosen Al Greene in an attempt to get me to disrobe? No, I couldn't think about that right now, but my face felt hot.

"As I was saying, I would like to apologize to all of you. I was selfish. I put my emotional needs before the welfare of the group."

"Rachel, do I smell cookies?" Matt asked.

"Yes. You have an excellent nose, Matthew!" I pointed to the tray of cookies downstage. "Please, everyone, help yourself. Finn, may I talk to you for a minute?"

Jesse looked even more disappointed. I hadn't thought that was possible.

Finn lumbered up on stage, and we moved to stage right. "Finn, I'm so sorry. I was wrong. I remember how much it hurt when you put your reputation before our relationship. And on top of that, asking you to be in my video probably gave you false hope."

"Probably?"

"And I remember how much false hope hurts, too. I'm sorry. I really am, Finn."

"You're just saying that because Jesse broke up with you."

"What? No, Finn! No. I'm not trying to get you back. I'm not trying to get anyone back. For so long, I had this fantasy or how my life was supposed to be. Now I'm just trying to figure out what I really want."

"Yeah? Well, don't take too long. By the time you figure it out, what you want may be gone. I learned that the hard way."

"Finn…"

"Whatever, Rach." He started to stalk off, but Santana blocked his path, and Quinn handed him a cookie, then guided him into a seat. He looked stunned that she was standing there, touching him—like she was a mirage. Quinn sat beside him, and he didn't move away. Progress! I couldn't help but smile as my eyes met hers. Then, I saw Jesse heading for the door.

"Jesse, wait!" Projected from the stage, my voice was really, really loud. Every single person in the room was staring at me. I ran off the stage and down to where he stood. "We need to talk. I know you gave everything up for me…for us. But now you and I aren't an "us" anymore, so I need to know: do you want to go back to Vocal Adrenaline? We all love having you here. We would love it if you stayed. But if you want to go back, we would understand. Right, everyone? We haven't made our set list yet, or finalized our choreography. We…we would be okay. And you could have it back: the popularity and the special effects and the world's brightest spotlight."

"What, like Ms Corcoran would just take me back as lead? It's not that simple, Rachel."

"Maybe it is. It could be. Just think about it, okay? And until you decide, please stay. Sing. You know you want to." I gave him a cajoling smile, and he smirked in return.

"That's playing dirty, Rachel."

"Come on, what would you like to sing while we wait for Mr. Shue?"

Then Brittany bounced into the auditorium with an announcement that would change everything.

AN-The songs used above are "Mama Who Bore Me" from "Spring Awakening" and Al Greene's sexy-as-hell "Let's Stay Together."