Teenage Dream

by Lucy Samb

You/ Darren Criss fanfic. The story is about your life with Darren in high school, college and professional life among friendship,love,fights,comings and goings and how you both go through serious stuff such as bullying,suicide,discrimination and life itself. It starts when you meet Darren, a guy of your school in St. Ignatius College Preparatory who never noticed you, a loser.

61. Thanksgiving

A/N: As I promised... A new chapter in less than three weeks! This is what Santa told me to give to you as Christmas gift. If your behavior was nice, then you're allowed to read the chapter; if your behavior was naughty, then you'll get a virtual coal and you aren't allowed to read chapter. But, since I can't control the internet and what you do, fuck it! Crap, I shouldn't curse or Santa won't bring me what I put in my wish list. I wonder how Santa will manage to bring us all a Darren Criss. That would be a hard work! But he better does that or I'm gonna burn in frustration. And... All of this was just my introduction to wish you a Merry Crissmas! Oh, sorry, Merry Christmas! These typos, geez! I hope you have a lovely Christmas next to your family, friends or the people you spend it with. I'll be looking forward to hearing your experiences of this Christmas ahead! Now, I may or may not post a new chapter next week to wish you a Happy New Year. Most likely I will. ALSO! I need to tell you that you'll read a character named 'Lucy'. THAT'S NOT ME! Okay, I wanted to make sure of it. That Lucy is a real person, she's Chuck Criss' wife in real life. Okay, that it is all... Now, time to answer the reviews!

alicegursk: Are you lost? Where are you? Silly way to start the conversation, I know. I couldn't come up with anything because I am that lame. Yes, fuck W! I second that! Isn't Jim an abominable person? You have no idea how much it hurt me to write Sawyer's death... But, think about this: Originally, I was gonna kill Brian, but well, I felt very cruel so I had to change it. Anyway, Jim is definitely a bastard and I loathed him while I was writing. Are you mad at Freckles for not understanding Brian? But... In my opinion, Brian was kind of guilty, too. But okay, yes, you're in your right to be mad at her. Muahaha! You'll hate February more in this chapter, because I am that bitch. Who caught Freckles? To be, or not to be, that is the question. Okay, you'll find it out in this chapter! I promise you'll keep living! In this chapter you won't get a cliffhanger (I should not lie, but oh well), but I promise you'll keep living because I'll give you a huge jar of cookies if you stay alive! Stay here, Alice!

santana12226: I know, Santana! That's because I'm a sort of a bitch! I know, I should behave nicely, but sometimes I just can't! Thank goodness you understand Freckles! I thought nobody would, but I was wrong and I'm glad because of that. Yes, I think the same, it's really sad when you find out your best friend is in love with you but you aren't. Because, really, what do you do in that moment? But yes, if she only knew all that Brian did and all about the past between Brian and Jim. But she doesn't and things suck! Jim is one detestable person, isn't he? I swear I could feel repulsion when I was developing the personality of that character, I just wish I never meet someone like him. Aww, yes, he was really rude to Brian and I also wish I could have a friend like Brian; I like this character very much. Zoey had to appear, maybe I could make her someone important in the story, but I haven't decided it yet. And Sawyer! It broke my heart to write about his death, because I'm one of those girls who love animals very much, and I always grow fond of my pets, so I could feel the pain while writing it. But, good thing is, I originally planned to kill Brian, but then I realized that would be extremely cruel, then I changed my mind. I mean, I can be a bitch, but not so evil! Yeah, I was cruel, very cruel and heartless when I wrote that chapter. I actually felt like a terrible person for writing all of that. But yes, Darren finally saw who Brian really is! About time! And Freckles really saved Darren from the uncomfortable situation that it was because he forgot his anniversary! But poor Freckles, having to stand other girl enjoying Darren in boxers instead of her. I mean, seriously, I bet Freckles was dying to get in there and push him onto the couch. Darren and Freckles forever, that's clear. I won't change my mind, even if it takes time, they are endgame. Dreckles forever and ever. We will see a bit of Miarren, but that won't happen any soon. It's gonna be when they end college and I have a lot to write about this college period, so enjoy Dreckles as long and much as you can, because after that... Mia appears!

AmritSoomal: I did miss you, Amrit! You are back and I wasn't expecting that, so I'm grinning like a damn fool! I really appreciate the fact that you took time to review even when you still have exams and mock tests. Well, I killed Brian's dog because options were: Or I killed Brian or I killed his dog; and I didn't want to kill Brian! I'm so sorry! I know it was super cruel. I just loved that dog because I love animals in a ridiculous way. It won't happen again, I promise. And yes, I'm actually happy with myself because I made you cry when Freckles forgot Brian's birthday! Because I cried myself when I wrote it, I know, pathetic because I'm the writer... It's just that I have certain memories. But well, that's not the point! I'm happy that you cried because I'm a bitch. But I want to have free access to your virtual kitchen again! I was happily getting fat and now... now... now... I have a virtual cake! It's not so nice, but it's cake anyways and cake is fucking delicious no matter what. What will Jim do to Freckles now? Is that even Jim? Or is that her father? Ah, an interesting story about Freckles and her dad was gonna happen, but not now. So, yeah, I spoiled something, but oh well. I know right? I'm talking about the evidence in the necklace. I guess I watch too many movies, so then I can make these characters kind of clever sometimes! Ah, February, February! Nobody likes her. I understand that there's Freckles, but Darren deserves to be happy with someone else until he realizes that Freckles is the only one for him. Because, yeah, Dreckles is endgame. I did see the last Glee episodes and I must confess I am getting bored. I mean, I don't like the new characters. I just want Blaine and Kurt... And Santana and Rachel also make me happy. Also Blam is funny. But that's it. We can add Artie because I like Kevin. I know! I hate it that the writers don't add more Klaine scenes and when I say Klaine scenes I say Klaine make-out sessions scenes. I mean, why wouldn't they want to show this incredible and fluffy love? That's absurd! I love Lea Michele's voice; therefore, I love her new song, too. I just think she's a very talented artist and that song is very meaningful. You missed this story but you didn't miss me? I am a sad panda! Because I missed you, but you didn't miss me and I just wanna cry. In the corner. Alone. With the lights turned off. Sad panda. Not sure if now I'll make everybody happy.

vicky: That was a really long review and I simply adore it! I missed you around, Vicky! But you're forgiven because I understand you were (and are) busy with school! I feel really flattered about the fact that the first thing you wanted to do was to read this story! You have me grinning like a fool! I absolutely loved the review about the chapter 59. It was very complete and you really let me know all you thought about it. I really like your conclusions that are always very accurate. I'll say that I'm really glad that you like Darren's relationship with Feb, because you are the only one who ships them, and I like to know that. Also I'm glad you didn't like May, because it's like you said (and the only one who realized): she made Freckles do all of those things only because she thought that she was Joey's hook up; and I like the fact that you think that Joey's hook up was Mandy; also, I'm glad that you noticed that Joey is a good friend of Freckles. About the party: it was a total decontrol; like one of the worst parties ever. And I love the fact that you like Greg, he will become more important, but not yet. Now I know the last chapter was completely heartbreaking. When I read it before posting it, I realized that it just had sad things, also terrible and outrageous things. I think I never wrote a chapter as sad as that one. I know, Jim is an abominable person who truly deserves to be imprisoned. He has done too many bad things. I swear I never thought I could hate writing about a character, but I hated that one; because it's very cruel. Then, I'll talk about Darren and Brian now... Yes, Darren was a bad person when it came to Brian, maybe because he cannot stand the fact that he's near Freckles; but he finally realized what kind of person Brian is and he regrets the way he treated him in the past; it was nice to write when Darren made Brian see that he is important because I also think they can be good friends. Now about Freckles and Brian, all the things Freckles has been doing with Brian are really cruel, she treated him really bad when all he was trying to do was to take care of her and show her his love. It's sad that she couldn't believe her best friend; that was one of her biggest mistakes. She will soon realize all the bad things she did and then let's see what she does to apologize. And yes, you noticed something very important! Freckles once felt that she was falling in love with Brian but she never dared to admit him this feeling; but she is proud, and she will keep being proud until something really remarkable happens and she will be forced to swallow her pride if she wants to sort things out. Thanks for noticing it, it is very important. Another important thing you noticed is that Brian always saves everybody but he never saves himself. That is very important and very clever of you to have realized it. However, I won't tell you why that is important, you'll eventually find it out. It seems Brian is completely alone now. And I hated myself when I wrote about his dog's death and I felt really sad while writing about Brian's birthday. I just thought it was sad the fact that he couldn't have a happy birthday as he deserved. He lost everybody he loves, just as Jim wanted. In the future chapters you'll get more of Brian's father and Mandy! You'll get to know them more. And Zoey may be, in a future, a very special person and she'll become someone important in the story, but in the future! Sometimes little kids can be smarter than adults. And I hate Jim, too!

Okay, that was all for now! Again, MERRY CHRISTMAS! I hope you all get a Darren Criss, if not… Well, we'll plan some sort of revenge because Santa behaved in a naughty way. A war of coals seems about right. And sometimes I wonder if you think I'm the lamest person in the world and that my comments instead of being funny are completely stupid. But well… You can skip this note; I give you permission to just read the chapter so you don't have to suffer reading the silly things I write. Next week I'll post a new chapter because I'm nice sometimes! So, until next week guys! I wish you a lovely Christmas full of gifts, laughs, toasts and food, a lot of food in company with your loved ones! Warm fuzzies, everybody!

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TEENAGE DREAM

Chapter 61

Thanksgiving

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Where were you? Who were these people who kidnapped you? Where were they taking you? What did they want from you? Was this really W? You were really scared, your body wouldn't stop shaking and your heart wouldn't stop beating fast. You just wanted to see who these people were and why they wanted you.

"It seems you're gonna have a heart attack." You heard a woman's voice laughing.

Oddly enough, it wasn't a wicked laughter and the voice sounded oddly familiar. The person who was covering your eyes moved the hands away and you saw everything blurry because your eye was adapting. You looked to one side to see who the person that clutched you was. You saw a guy with bushy curly dark hair, triangle eyebrows, long eyelashes, hazel eyes and a big and goofy smile.

"Darren?" You asked very confused. Was Darren the one who captured you and threw you in that car? Why? You couldn't get this.

"Hey, Freckles. Do you need a tranquilizer?" He joked, laughing loudly.

"What is this? Why did you...? Why are you laughing?" You asked disturbed, still very confused. Darren stopped laughing; he looked at you amused and placed both hands on your shoulder.

"Freckles, calm down. This all was for a pleasant surprise!" He exclaimed with that big grin.

"Pleasant surprise? Do you call it pleasant surprise? I thought someone kidnapped me! What are you talking about? This ain't funny!" You exclaimed upset now that you weren't so scared.

"I thought that seeing me again would be pleasant for you." You heard the same woman's voice.

You finally paid attention to your surroundings. The person who was driving the car was Joey and he had an amused smirk on his face. Then you looked to your other side and you saw a girl with straight brown hair to her shoulders, light brown eyes and a kind smile, dressed very formally with black townsend wide leg pants, a white button-front blouse and a two button suit jacket. That was a face that you haven't seen in while and she looked so different.

"Jen?" You asked unsure but when she ginned widely, you couldn't help smiling brightly. "Oh my god!" You exclaimed with a giggle and you quickly pulled her into a hug. You haven't realized how much you missed her in your life.

"Happy thanksgiving!" Jen exclaimed cheerfully and you laughed.

"Happy thanksgiving!" You exclaimed while parting. "Oh dear! You look so different, Jen!" You exclaimed while twiddling a strand of her hair. "You cut your hair! And you are thinner and look at you! You really look like a journalist!" You exclaimed amazed, seeing her make-up and her glasses. She just giggled.

"Yes, I got a makeover!" She affirmed while grinning widely. "And look at you, Freckles! Darren had to point out to you so that I could recognize you!" She exclaimed loudly and you giggled. "What happened with your super long hair?"

"Well, I needed a change and my hair was the first thing that suffered it." You answered jokingly.

"It looks amazing on you, though. You look really sexy!" Jen complimented and you grinned shyly. "And you lost weight, I can tell. You look like a model!" She commented and you blushed slightly.

"Oh, wait to see her with her casual clothes instead the sportswear." Darren commented waggling his eyebrows.

"She's like a femme fatale!" Joey exclaimed loudly.

"Okay, no, stop! That's not true, Jen." You said shyly. You couldn't get used to those compliments.

"Well, I believe you are!" Jen commented and you just blushed and smiled timidly. "Aw! It's so good to see you, Freckles!" Jen voiced while taking one of your hands to squeeze it.

"And it's really good to see you too! It's been a long!" You exclaimed with the biggest smile. Jeez, it was really so good to see her, she was your best friend in high school and you always missed her.

"Yes, but the important thing is that I'm now here to catch up! I'm sure we have a lot to talk about!" She squealed excited and you chuckled.

"This will be like the old times!" Darren exclaimed loudly and you and Jen nodded in agreement. "Only that Joey will be included this time. You're such a pain in the ass, man." He joked and Joey moved his arm to behind to hit Darren's head.

"Don't listen to him, Joey. He's always been a jealous person." Jen whispered in Joey's ear in a facetious way.

"I agree! He'd always deny it, but that's the truth." You added and Darren looked at you and Jen raising eyebrows.

"I can't believe this! Are we playing 'let's outsmart Darren'?" Darren asked while shaking his head.

"No, we're playing 'let's tell the truth about Darren'." Jen mocked and you and Joey laughed.

"Remind me why I'm giving you accommodation in my apartment." Darren asked while looking fixedly at Jen.

"Because I'm your best friend and you missed me saying embarrassing things about you and your past." Jen answered with an amused smirk.

"Dammit! I hate it when you're right!" Darren exclaimed annoyed, but in jest; so everybody laughed. "What about a lunch together, eh?" Darren asked in general.

"Oh, hell yeah! I need a big hamburger! Air travel makes me hungry." Jen answered with a giggle.

"Yes, that would be cool... But... Could you drop me to my dorm room? I really want to change these sweaty clothes!" You exclaimed while looking at yourself in a disgusted way.

"Oh, gross! You're all sweated!" Darren exclaimed with a disgusted face, gesturing something with his hand, as if you were smelly. "You stink!"

"Shut up, Criss! You're the less indicated person to say that. You sweat all the time." You answered back in a jokingly way.

"It seems that today everybody wants to say bad things about me. Jeez, guys! I know you're very thankful for having me in your lives. Happy thanksgiving, by the way!" He exclaimed loudly and everybody laughed.

Joey drove to your residence and you went to your dorm room to take a quick shower and change your clothes. You agreed to meet at downtown, at the Zingerman's Delicatessen by noon. You were really excited and you were feeling super happy, you even forgot about all the bad. You couldn't believe that Jen was here, that you finally got to see her. It's been more than a year since the last time you saw her. You wanted to know all about her: why she decided to study journalism, where she was living, how was her life now, if she had new friends and maybe a new crush... You wanted to know so many things. You took the bus to go downtown, thinking how great this Thanksgiving would be with your best friends of high school. You were finally reunited again and that was amazing. Seriously, this was the best surprise ever, even if the way they chose to surprise you wasn't so cool. When you entered the Zingerman's Delicatessen; Joey, Darren and Jen were already there and... February was also there. You liked February, she was a nice and kind girl, but it was weird to see her and Darren together; even if you already saw them together several times since the accident of the surprise breakfast. However, nothing would ruin the joy you were feeling of seeing Jen again; so you walked to the table with your brightest smile.

"Hi again, guys!" You greeted in general, in a very merry way.

Everybody said hi and you sat right next to Jen, linking your arm with hers, still grinning brightly. Jen complimented the way you were dressed and she mentioned you looked really pretty and that it was weird but good to see you so colorful and joyful. You ordered your meals and drinks and then you started talking about random things. This was really like the old times, only that you all looked so very different from high school. Not only your appearances changed, but also your personalities and your way of thinking. It was noticeably that you had matured.

"You know… I'm not like you, Criss." Jen commented when Darren explained what he used to do in his spare time. "This girl here…" She said pointing herself. "Has a spectacular job." She said smiling proudly and brightly.

"You have a job?" You asked curiously.

"Suck my balls, Jen! You? A job? Please!" Darren exclaimed while laughing.

"Yes, me, Criss!" Jen said sticking out her tongue in a teasing way. Then she looked at you. "Freckles, I'll tell you." She said and you nodded energetically. "I'm on an internship position for the America Abroad Media company. I have to collaborate with web staff to aid them in creating multimedia materials, including a monthly newsletter about the radio program, America Abroad. I have to think critically about big topics, from global education issues, to advances in energy technology, entrepreneurship, war doctrine, and the role of religion; and I have to work with the Senior Editor, Executive Producer, and hosts." She explained and you were looking at her stunned, raising eyebrows, just as everybody.

"You work for the America Abroad Media?" You asked very impressed and Jen nodded proudly.

"What dirty things have you done to get that job, Nedeau?" Darren asked astonished.

"It's called dedication and competitive spirit, darling." Jen answered with an amused smile while taking a sip of her drink. "They're content with my work performance and if I keep working hard, they're gonna promote me to grant writer." She added with a huge smile, showing all of her teeth.

"Jen, that's incredible!" You exclaimed cheerfully, placing a hand on her shoulder. "Congratulations! This is a very amazing opportunity for you, I bet!"

"It is, Freckles! Thank you a lot." She thanked with a gentle smile.

"Let's make a toast for the very successful journalist, Jennifer Nedeau!" Darren exclaimed, raising his glass and everybody did the same. "To Jen Nedeau and her amazing talent!" He exclaimed loudly while waving his glass to all, then clinked Jen's glass. Then he clinked his glass gently with everybody before everybody sipped their drinks.

"I feel so special right now!" Jen exclaimed with a giggle. "Well, I've talked a lot about myself. So, tell me, Freckles... Do you have a job or do you fool around in your spare time like Darren and Joey?" She asked and you looked down and chuckled.

"I just fool around." You answered.

"Liar!" Darren exclaimed very loudly that everybody in the restaurant turned their faces to look at your direction. You just blushed slightly. "Jen, she's a freaking model! Like those models who appear in the magazines and you want to rip their clothes..." He started saying very loudly.

You were looking at him perplexed with eyes wide open, just as February was looking at him, but she seemed to be disgruntled. That was a misplaced comment, more if February was present. Jen just looked at Darren frowning slightly in suspicion.

"Dude, I think the beer is taking effect on you." Joey cut him off before Darren could keep screwing it up. "Why don't you let Freckles explain it by herself?"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever." Darren answered lazily and then sipped his drink. Joey looked at you and nodded, as indicating you to explain the whole thing.

"Well... It's just an occasional job. My sister Mandy has her own clothing company and she asked me to be her model; and I accepted because she's my sister. It's just that." You explained while shrugging, taking a sip of your own drink.

"But, explain her, Freckles! Mandy's clothing company is a total success in LA; and Freckles appears in all the magazines and advertisements. She has done some very hot photoshoots! Like that one on the beach! Damn hot!" Darren exclaimed loudly and again, everybody looked at him puzzled.

"Okay, buddy, shut up." Joey said firmly.

"Umm... What about you, February?" Jen asked as trying to change the topic of conversation as you felt bad, for some reason.

"No, I don't have a job. I'm studying two different careers, so I don't have time for a job." February answered politely, even if she was a little uncomfortable because of Darren's comments.

"Isn't she totally awesome? Like, the smartest person I know!" Darren exclaimed while wrapping an arm around February, slightly pecking her lips.

You looked away and focused on your drink as you heard February's laugh. Darren used to say you were the smartest person he knew; now he only could say you did hot photoshoots as if you were some kind of slut.

"Seriously, Jen! You gotta meet February even more. You'll see, she's amazing. And she's pretty funny, like we almost have the same sense of humor! That never happened to me! Do you have any idea of how hard is to find someone with your same sense of humor? You're gonna love her, Jen!" Darren exclaimed very excited and you sipped your drink, looking away.

"I'm sure I will." Jen responded with a soft chuckle.

"Oh! And wait to see her performing a show! She's one of the greatest actresses of all times!" Darren flattered February. "Feb, I think we should perform something together, so we can show Jen what a totally awesome performance is!" He suggested while giggling.

"That would be amazing!" February commented amused and you were just taking more sips of your drink as if that was the only thing you could do. "Maybe we could perform She Loves Me!" She exclaimed spirited.

You looked at her abruptly, straight in her eye; then you looked fixedly at Darren. Not that one. You and Darren always talked about performing that musical together. Darren surely remembered because his wide smirk kinda vanished and he looked down and scratched the nape of his neck, uncomfortable.

"Sure! That would be fantastic." Darren answered and you dropped your jaw and looked down. He accepted. You forced a smile because you didn't want to ruin the moment.

"I've heard that musical is utterly charming, sweet and stupendous. I believe I'll enjoy it." Jen commented with a giggle and you nodded with the forced grin. Joey was the only one who noticed your disillusion.

"Why don't you perform Cats? That's way more interesting." Joey suggested and Darren nodded.

"Yes, that's a better one." Darren replied. "What about Cats, Feb?"

"Yes, that one is good too. But I really want to perform She Loves Me because it's so romantic! Please, baby!" February begged while pouting in front of Darren's lips.

"We'll think about it later, gorgeous." Darren answered awkwardly.

"Please, baby!" She begged again, pecking Darren's lips.

"Okay." He responded with a sweet grin.

"Oh, what a shit, man! Cats was the best you could have done." Joey said moody. "Freckles!" He exclaimed and you looked at him raising your eyebrows in surprise because you weren't expecting him to call you. "I think you and I should perform it together. We're gonna beat them! What do you say?" Joey asked and you sensed how everybody looked at you.

"Umm... Yeah. Yes, that would be great." You answered grinning.

"We're the best team ever!" Joey voiced high-fiving you and you laughed.

"Oh, it seems it's a competition! Well, I'll be the jury and I'll choose which one I like most." Jen said very amused.

Right after that, Jen, Darren and February started talking about random things. Apparently Jen was interested in knowing February; naturally, she was her best friend's girlfriend. Fortunately you didn't feel left aside because Joey talked to you the whole afternoon. You and he talked about a lot of things, and he asked more about your family and especially about your sister and her clothing company. Then you saw how February stood up.

"Well, guys, it's been a lovely lunch and afternoon; but now I have to catch a flight." February said and Darren stood up. "Jen, it was so good to meet you. I hope we can see each other again." She said with a very kind smile and Jen grinned at her.

"It was my pleasure, February. We can chat on Facebook or something. I have a feeling we can become friends." Jen said while giggling and February nodded. Then Jen and she hugged.

"I'll accompany you to the airport, gorgeous." Darren said and February nodded before pecking his lips. "Hmm, I'm gonna miss you." You heard Darren whispering in front of her lips. Then he looked at you, Jen and Joey. "Guys, see you later for sure." He said and you observed how they left the restaurant, holding hands.

"Ah!" Jen exclaimed in a sigh, with a wide grin, looking at them. Then she looked at you and Joey. "I need a dose of caffeine. What if we order coffee?" She asked.

"Oh, I love coffee!" You answered merrily and Joey nodded in agreement.

You ordered and when the waitress brought the coffees, you all sipped your respective coffee jars and smiled in pleasure. It was always good to drink something hot in a cold day. It was even better to drink something hot after an uncomfortable situation.

"So, Jen, tell me how life in NYC is!" You asked joyfully.

"It's pretty amazing! Living in NYC is like living in a dream. It's the greatest city on Earth." Jen answered and you smiled widely. "It has the most iconic skyline, bars are open until 4am, it has the best coffee and pizza, you can eat pretty much anything at any time; it's the home of the musical and it has the most theaters in the world; in the summer, you can see tons of world-class music and performance art without spending a dime, you can get to see unique things like a museum located in a former subway station; it's the most recognizable pop-culture reference point; you can hear first-rate jazz performers playing live every day of the week; it's one of the greatest cultural powerhouses in the world; it's one of the most linguistically diverse cities in the world, and it's in the throes of an independent-bookstore renaissance. You can even travel the world without leaving the boroughs, you can feast on traditional dishes from destinations near and far by simply hopping on the subway. The public transportation can take you just about anywhere you need to go. New York is truly a 24-hour city." Jen explained very excited and you were already wishing you could live there. "Of course it has its negative side. You'll end up spending an obscene amount of money on something called a broker's fee, first and last month's rent and a security deposit. You hear every day, all the time, a lot of sirens. You'll encounter a lot of people crying in public because most people are very stressed out and sometimes they tend to be unhappy. You learn walk faster than most people run; seriously, people are all the time like running. You learn to become immune to the hot garbage smell. It's busy, noisy, polluted, congested, and expensive." Jen commented and you raised your eyebrows... Well, maybe it wasn't so good. "But when you leave the city, you miss it. You realize you couldn't possibly live anywhere else."

"It seems you found your place in the world." You said with a cheery grin.

"Oh yes, I did! You guys should come to visit me. I'm sure you're gonna love it. Freckles, you're gonna love all the museums and art galleries. And Joey, come on, there's Broadway!" Jen exclaimed and Joey laughed.

"I totally will go visit you." Joey agreed.

"Maybe you all could go for Christmas and New Year. What do you say?" She asked excited.

"Oh, I'd love it. But I'm not sure... I'd like to be with my family." You answered. "But... I could talk to them. I mean, spending Christmas without them for the first time wouldn't be a bad thing; then I could spend New Year's Eve with them." You added.

"That would be a great deal." Jen said with a bright smile. "What about you, Joey?"

"I think I could do the same than Freckles. I really want to go to NYC." Joey answered.

"And Jen, tell me... Do you have a crush there?" You asked with a mischievous smirk and Jen laughed.

"Actually, I do." Jen answered as a secret and you squealed and giggled. "Shh, it's a secret. Darren doesn't even know yet. So, I trust you guys that you won't say anything." She said and you and Joey nodded. "There's a guy... His name's Jack. He's a sweetheart; he's very handsome, smart and nice. He'll be a future entrepreneur. We've been dating for seven months now. I met him thanks to Chuck's girlfriend Lucy Hollis. The four of us always hang out together; we have a pretty amazing relationship." Jen commented.

"That's so nice!" You exclaimed.

It was great to know that Jen and Chuck, despite they dated in the past, could have such a great relationship as she described. Maybe you should do the same with Darren; you should try to accept February just as Jen accepted this Lucy girl. You weren't trying to accept them; maybe it was time to do it.

"It really is." Jen affirmed while nodding. "What about you, guys? Are you seeing someone?" She asked and neither you nor Joey answered. You were waiting for Joey to answer first and it seemed he was doing the same.

"Single and happy." Joey finally answered and you looked at him frowning.

"What about May?" You asked confused.

"We were just... friends with benefits. And that ended about four weeks ago." Joey answered.

"Oh, it's sad to hear that, Joey. May was a pretty girl and she seemed to be nice." You replied.

"Trust me, I'm better this way." Joey assured and you grinned slightly.

"What about you, Freckles?" Jen asked curiously and you looked down, still with that slight grin.

"Single." You answered.

"Not even a crush? Or a friend with benefits?" She asked.

"No, I'm all by myself!" You responded while giggling.

"Aren't you interested in anyone?" She asked insistently.

"No. No, I guess I'm not. But... As Joey said, I'm happy." You said with a grin. You knew that wasn't completely honest. You were not so happy to be alone.

"Well, I guess I'll have to get a girl for you, Joey, and a boy for you, Freckles. New Yorkers are very attractive." Jen said winking.

"Long distance relationship? Na, man, I pass. I need physical contact!" Joey joked and you and Jen laughed.

"Same here." You said with a chuckle.

"What about you guys getting together?" Jen suggested amused and you and Joey looked at each other and burst out laughing.

"Oh no, no!" Joey and you said in unison. "No way." You said in unison again, still snickering loudly.

"Alright! It was just a suggestion!" Jen said, now also laughing.

"Friends forever!" Joey exclaimed and high-fived you.

"Okay, forget what I suggested." Jen said chuckling, shaking her head. "Well, guys, as much as I'd love to keep talking to you; I'm really tired because of the flight and I think I should unpack my stuff. I'm gonna stay here for an entire week, so we'll have plenty of time to talk." She said and Joey and you nodded.

"Oh, do you want me to walk you to our apartment?" Joey asked.

"Oh, no! It's not necessary. Ann Arbor is not that big and I already know where the apartment is. Besides, Darren gave me the extra key. So, you can stay and finish your coffee." Jen answered.

"Okay, cool. Just give me a buzz if you need something." Joey said and Jen smiled and nodded.

"Will do. Now, enjoy your time, guys!" Jen said happily, hugging you and hugging Joey before standing up to leave. "See you later!" She exclaimed while she was leaving, waving her hand.

"So, Freckles... What if we go for a walk? I really need to touch some snow and corroborate my real existence in this world." Joey joked and you giggled.

"Good idea. I feel like I've been indoors for my entire life." You answered in a jokingly way.

You and Joey walked outside and the cold breeze hit your faces. Damn, it was cold. You linked your arm with Joey's and you started walking through the E Huron St, getting entertained by looking at different shops. It was always funny to hang out with Joey, he was a funny person and you really adored him. After an hour of just fooling around, you ended up in The Nichols Arboretum. You chose a place to sit and rest a little. So there you were, sitting on a bench, joking and talking about random things until both of you were silent to stare the snowy panorama.

"Freckles, can I ask you something and you promise not to take it in a bad way?" Joey asked and you looked at him curiously.

"Sure, cough it up!" You responded.

"I noticed that lately you're not acting as usual. It seems that almost all the time you pretend to be the cheerful girl you used to be when I met you. It seems that your joy has been worn. It's like now your eyes don't shine as before; like... You seem to be unhappy." Joey commented and you looked away. Wow, what he was saying was sad to hear. "And I don't like to see you unhappy... May I know what happened to you to feel so... sad?" He asked and you bit your lips.

"Things of life." You answered with a sad half-smile.

"You know? You can trust me, Freckles. And maybe I can help you. Maybe I'm not the ideal friend, but I'm a friend. I just want to get to see your old you again, that peppy girl full of joy." Joey said gently, placing a hand on your shoulder.

"I know, Joey. You're a good friend." You said smiling at him then you paused and looked down as you began to play with your fingers. "It's just that… Maybe I'm a little stressed out with college and exams."

"I know that's not true. I mean, that can be true, but it's not the whole thing. You look sad, not tired." Joey pointed out.

He really had a sharp eye. You remained silent, feeling how all the bad that disappeared when you saw Jen returned. You couldn't help feeling the pressure in chest and the lump in throat. You perceived tears trying to escape from the corner of your eyes; yet you held them back. Joey wrapped an arm around you as he started rubbing your shoulder and you rested your head on his shoulder.

"I just feel everything is going wrong. I feel like all of my most treasured things are moving away. I feel like all is falling apart. I swear I don't wanna feel that, I swear I try to see the positive; but sometimes I can't avoid it, because it hurts too much." You confessed with shaky voice, still holding back your tears. Joey squeezed softly your shoulder. "I feel like I'm surrounded by lots of people, yet I feel alone. I feel empty... and lonely." You whispered as a tear ran down your cheek and hit Joey's shoulder.

"Why is that you feel alone?" Joey asked gently. "Does it have something to do with Darren and February?" He asked and you chuckled ruefully, thinking how discerning he was.

"Partly." You answered. "Don't get me wrong... I like February, she's a nice girl and I think they're happy together. It's just that..." You said and your voice cracked because the lump in throat was too painful, so you stopped talking.

"It's that Darren was your first boyfriend and now it's weird to see him with other girl, telling her what he used to tell you and acting with her the way he used to act with you; so you can't help remembering when you were together and how happy you were in those times and how different it is now. Right?" Joey stated and you looked at him amazed with tears in your eyes.

"It is exactly like that." You answered with choked voice, looking into Joey's eyes. "And I don't wanna feel like that because I don't wanna be a selfish person. What Darren and I had ended a long ago, it shouldn't feel like this." You said frustrated, frowning and looking down. Joey rubbed your arm and pulled you closer to him.

"Hey, Freckles. You're not selfish for that. It only means that you cared about him. And yes, it's supposed you should feel like that, because Darren wasn't just some random crush for you. It'll get better, though. You'll find another guy who is gonna make you feel happy as Darren used to make you feel; and then you'll be able to look at Darren and February under another point of view. Look at Jen and Chuck! They could make it, why wouldn't you?" He asked looking at you with a kind grin, so you smiled back at him.

"Yeah... Maybe... Sometimes I feel like there won't be such a guy. It's like... Everybody in college wants you for a one-night stand. It's like they're more interested in your body rather than your personality and how you're inside. And this could sound cheesy and hopelessly romantic, but I've always been one of those people who always dreamed of a boy falling in love with me for who I am and not for how I look." You said, now feeling more comfortable talking to him about what you were feeling.

"That's the price of being super gorgeous." Joey said trying to joke to decrease the drama, so you chuckled softly, nudging him playfully. "But I know what you mean, Freckles. I've been there somehow." Joey whispered and you looked at him in curiosity.

"How come?" You asked looking deeply into his eyes. He looked down to look into your eye and he grinned faintly.

"You see, not all my girls were just friends with benefits." Joey said and you placed your hand on his thigh to help yourself to sit upright and listen to him intently and very intrigued. "In high school I had a girlfriend and it didn't work out with her; she cheated on me with my best friend in our prom." He said and you frowned, thinking how bad that was. None of your boyfriends cheated on you, but it surely was one of the worst things. "Since then, I was never interested in any girl. Well, until I met someone in summer. I don't have anything of this girl, I don't have her phone, or her mail, or Facebook, or her address; nothing at all. I don't even know her surname. We spent four weeks together, all the time, all days. She made me feel happy, but we said since the beginning that our thing won't be a serious thing; we agreed it'd be just a summer love affair. Thing is... I didn't want it, I really liked her. I tried to find her again but I never could. Then May appeared, I thought she was perfect to forget that girl. It didn't work." He said shrugging.

"Joey, that's so sad." You said sadly and Joey nodded with the same faint half-smile. "Hey, but we can plot some sort of plan. It'd be like an adventure in which we are detectives who have to find that girl!" You exclaimed and Joey snickered.

"Like Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson?" He asked and you nodded energetically. "Just for the record... I'm Sher..."

"I'm Sherlock Holmes!" You interrupted him amused.

"No, I am Sherlock! You're..."

"No, you're Watson!"

"No! You cheater!" Joey exclaimed loudly, raising his eyebrows and laughing.

"So, my faithful Dr. Watson, are you ready for our next adventure?" You asked very serious and Joey got serious too.

"I am, Dr. Watson." Joey answered and you raised your eyebrows.

"Hey, no!" You nudged him playfully and you both laughed out loud.

"Anyway, thanks, Freckles... But I don't think we'll find her. If I haven't found her in these four months, I don't think I will... Maybe she lied about her name." He said shrugging and you nodded sadly. "I guess we both will be alone for a while."

"I guess so." You sighed and rested your head on his shoulder again as he wrapped his arm around you again and pulled you closer, resting his head on yours. "We can still do cool things, though."

"Of course we can. Being single has its positive side." Joey said enthusiastically.

But then you both remained silent, perhaps knowing that none of you wanted to be alone, that you really wanted to find someone because it wasn't so cool to see how everybody had someone and you didn't have anyone. You rested your chin on his shoulder to look at him and then he looked down and your eyes met. You remained looking deeply into each other's eyes for a while. Then both you and Joey leaned your heads and moved closer. Your noses touched just as your foreheads. You both closed your eyes and then you kissed. It was a slow and shy kiss that didn't last too much. You parted, opened your eyes and you both chuckled in front of each other's lips, still pressing your foreheads together.

"Hmm... No. I think this is not gonna work." Joey whispered still chuckling.

"No, it's not gonna work." You laughed louder.

"Jen and her ideas!" Joey exclaimed loudly.

He giggled and shook his head before moving his head away. You laughed and rested your head on his shoulder as he kept wrapping an arm around you. Then you both remained silent looking at the snowy panorama. But it wasn't an uncomfortable silence and none of you felt awkward because of what you recently did. It was just an experiment that didn't work, because you both knew that you were fine as friends and that was what you both wanted. Perhaps in that moment the two of you finally realized that it wasn't so bad to be alone as long as you had a good friend to spend time with.

---

I was with February at the airport. She was going to go to Seattle to spend Thanksgiving with her family; so I wouldn't see her for a week. Yes, I was going to miss her, I had to admit it; but Jen was in Ann Arbor, so I was really happy and excited to spend time with her. We were waiting for her to make the check-in. Her flight was within twenty minutes. She was tapping her foot as a sign of impatience; and she was very silent, and that was weird coming from her. Maybe she was just too eager to take the plane and see her family. I stood behind her, I wrapped my arms around her waist and I rested my chin on her shoulder.

"Hey, gorgeous, don't be so nervous. Soon you'll be in Seattle." I whispered in her ear.

Then I leaned to peck her lips, but she moved her face away, frowned and moved my hands away while puffing. I just looked at her stunned and confused, raising my eyebrows. What was that for?

"I'm not in mood." She said coldly, pursing her lips, crossing her arms and looking away.

"What?" I asked confused. Why was she acting like that? As far as I knew, we were fine. "Are you on your period?" I asked and she shot me a withering look. Whoa! Scary!

"Am not." She answered harshly.

"Then why are you this moody? Come on, in twenty minutes we'll be away from each other for a week! Don't be like this right now." I voiced while frowning and she shot me another withering look.

"Do you wanna know why I'm this moody?" She asked so coldly while squinting and stepping closer that I thought that I should feel frightened.

When women were like this it was because you've done something they didn't like, so the best you could do was to run away. But I couldn't run away. Dammit. She looked so scary.

"Yeah, I wanna know. That's why I asked." I responded gingerly and she grouched in irritation. Oh crap... Wrong answer?

"I'll tell you..." She said harshly and I stepped back. I've never seen her like this. "What do you think you're doing, eh?" She asked looking fiercely into my eyes. I just raised my eyebrows and gulped.

"Excuse me?" I asked kinda confused.

"Tell me what you want, Darren! Tell me! Do you really wanna be with me?" She asked, piercing my eyes with her gaze.

"Umm... Yeah." I answered, afraid that it could maybe be the wrong answer for her.

"It doesn't seem so!" She said very loudly and madly that some people around turned to look at us.

"Why are you saying so?" I asked confused, frowning. I've always been a sucker to understand women. Why were they so complicated, man?

"Let me ask you something... How you dare to say that Freckles is hot and that you wanted to... rip off her clothes? Really? How you dare to say something like that in front of me?" February asked angry and I bit my lips and closed my eyes. When I opened them, she was looking at me furiously. Damn, I was in trouble.

"I was just joking, Feb." I said, trying to excuse myself.

"You were obviously not! You meant that!" She voiced almost in a yell, so more people looked at us.

"Oh, come on, Feb. You can't deny Freckles is super-hot." I said and I automatically regretted because she was rabid now.

"How the fuck...?"

"Hey, wait! I'm not finished!" I interrupted her, taking both of her hands. She quickly let out her hands and she crossed her arms, looked away and began to tap her foot. "Freckles is hot and that's why she is a model. But I like you. I'm with you and I want to be with you." I said gently, looking deeply into her eyes. "I'm sorry if what I said about Freckles made you angry, it wasn't my intention. I never thought it could make you feel bad because I thought you knew that the only person I want to be with it's you. You're not just the girl with who I spend time with, you're my girlfriend, Feb; and I'm not one of those assholes who cheat on their girlfriends. I thought you knew that." I said softly, daring to take her hands again. This time she let me do so. She was still looking away, but now she didn't seem to be mad. "And... I... I wouldn't be with anybody else and I don't wanna be with anybody else because... Because I... I... I love you." I whispered shyly.

This was the first time I said 'I love you' in a romantic way to another girl that wasn't Freckles. February looked up at me with eyes wide open, raising eyebrows and lips parted, apparently very surprised and stunned to hear that. Was that a good sign? Did I screw it up? Was it too soon to say 'I love you'?

"Do you really love me?" She asked, this time gently, looking deeply into my eyes.

"Umm...Umm..." I babbled nervously. Maybe she didn't like to hear that. But I couldn't take my words back now; so I gulped before answering. "Yes, I do." I said and she grinned slightly, but tenderly. Well, maybe it was a good sign after all.

"I think I love you too." She confessed and I looked at her the same way she looked at me when I said the same thing.

"Really?" I asked to make sure I heard well.

"Yes, really. I thought it was too soon to say it... So I didn't want to tell you and screw things up." She admitted and I giggled.

"You know? I thought exactly the same thing." I said and I smiled widely. Then I wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her to me. "I think we're two dumb people, afraid to admit what we really feel." I said jokingly and she nodded and chuckled. "But, now you know, I love you." I said sweetly and then I leaned over to kiss her.

"I love you too." She whispered in front of my lips with a radiant grin. Then she placed her hands on my chest and stepped back to look into my eyes; she wasn't grinning now... Oh, no, man... What now? "I just... I don't like the things you say about Freckles... It makes me feel uncomfortable."

"Alright, I won't say anything about her again. Promise." I replied, sighing in relief. I thought she would say something worse.

"Yes... But... I don't like the way she looks at you either..." She commented, looking down and fluttering her eyes. What?

"What way?" I asked frowning.

"I don't know... She looks at you as if she... As if she were still in love with you. Like... She seems to be jealous of us and she just... I know she wants to get you back, Darren. It's obvious." February stated and I looked at her bewildered.

"Feb, that's absurd." I said.

"No, it's not absurd. You just can't notice it because you think she's just a friend; but she wants to get you, Darren. The way she looks at you, the way she always wants to be near you... Everything!" She exclaimed loudly, sighing exasperatedly.

"Feb... Really, Freckles and I are just friends and she... She doesn't want to get me back. For fuck's sake, that's ridiculous!" I exclaimed incredulous.

"Well, it's not ridiculous for me! And it really makes me feel very uncomfortable when you and she are together... I can't stop noticing how she looks at you! I don't like it at all." February stated and I shook my head, sighing. Was she really jealous of Freckles?

"And what do you want me to do about it? I can't tell her to stop staring me that way; because she'd ask me what way and I wouldn't know what to answer, because for me everything seems to be pretty normal." I responded and February bit her lips and looked away.

"Maybe you should stop seeing her, Darren." February said and I widened my eyes and raised my eyebrows in disbelief.

"Why would I do that? She's my friend, February." I responded.

"She's not your friend. She's your ex-girlfriend!" She answered back and I frowned.

"Uh, yeah. Yes, she is my ex, but she's my friend now." I replied.

"Well, it's so fucking weird and so fucking uncomfortable to see you hanging out with you ex-girlfriend! It's not normal and I don't like it." She said getting angry again.

"Okay, yes, she's my ex, I know it. So what? We're friends now and it's not weird." I voiced, looking fixedly at her. Then I squinted in suspicion. "What are you trying to tell me, eh?"

"You'll have to choose, Darren, because I'll never be comfortable of being with you while your ex-girlfriend keeps messing around." She said and I already didn't like what she was saying. "Or it's your ex or it's me, Darren. You gotta choose." She demanded and I dropped my jaw, unable to believe what she was forcing me to do.

"I'm not gonna choose between her and you, February, because it simply makes no sense. You're my girlfriend and Freckles is my friend. And I love you both, in different ways. You can't force me to do such a thing." I answered very firmly.

"Well, then you choose her and forget about me, Darren." She said coldly, slipping away from me. "I'm not gonna deal with your ex."

"I thought you liked her." I pointed out.

"That was before you became my boyfriend and before she started looking at you in that way as if she wants to fuck you." February said and I shook my head in disbelief.

"You're misinterpreting everything, February. And I know you're being like this because you're insecure because of what happened with you and your ex. But I'm not like your ex, I'm not gonna hurt you. And you gotta trust me; I only want to be with you and I swear Freckles and I are just friends. We had our moment together, but it won't happen again. We both are over it. And she even knows you're my girlfriend and she's totally fine with it." I commented and February squinted and frowned.

"What? Did you really asked her approval of us? Oh, come on, don't shit me! That's not a normal friendship and it'll never be normal between you two. So, make a decision. She or me." She demanded strictly and I looked down and sighed. "But if you choose her, you won't see me again, Darren." She added and I bit my lips.

"Alright!" I exclaimed while throwing my hands up. "I choose you." I said kind of annoyed.

"Would you stop seeing her? Like really, you won't see her again and you won't talk to her again. Otherwise, this is not gonna work, Darren." She said and I sighed, feeling even more annoyed.

"I'll stop seeing her and I'll stop talking to her... Happy now?" I asked, letting her know that I was not content with what she was doing.

"Yes." She said and she stepped closer to embrace me. I didn't hug her back right away; but when she rested her head on my chest, I wrapped my arms around her. "Thank you for understanding me. I still need to learn how to trust someone. I don't really wanna force you to stop talking to her forever. It's just for a while, until I learn to really trust someone. I'm sorry I'm such a mess." She apologized so sadly that I felt kinda bad for feeling so annoyed for what she was doing.

Maybe it was just that... Maybe it was just a matter of time until she could stop being so insecure and I had to support her because she was my girlfriend. I stroked her hair in a gentle way, I kissed her forehead and then I grinned at her.

"It's okay, gorgeous. I'll help you to learn how to trust someone. With time you'll realize you don't have to worry about me and Freckles." I said kindly and she smiled softly at me.

"Thanks. I wish that. Maybe if Freckles then finds a guy and everything between us is fine, we can hang out together... But, just not for now." She said sadly.

"Not for now. Okay, if that would make you feel comfortable, I'll do it for you." I stated sweetly and she smiled thankfully at me.

"Thank you." She said and pecked my lips. "Oh! I think it's time for me to go!" She said when she realized it was the time, so I just nodded.

"I'm gonna miss you, you know?" I said in all honesty.

"I'm gonna miss you too, baby!" She exclaimed and pecked my lips again. We embraced tightly one last time. "But it's just for one week. I hope you have a great Thanksgiving with your friend Jen and Joey." She said with a bright smile.

"And I hope you have a totally awesome Thanksgiving with your family, gorgeous." I said and we kissed again one last time.

I observed how February crossed the boarding gate; when she turned around, I waved and she did the same. When she disappeared from my sight, I left the airport and I took the bus to return to my apartment. I honestly didn't like so much what she asked me to do, but well, I had to understand her and help her; and I didn't want to make her feel uncomfortable, I wanted to prove her that she could trust me and she could also trust Freckles. Thing was Jen was here and I knew she wanted to see Freckles and Freckles also wanted to see Jen; and I also wanted to be with Jen. I couldn't tell Jen to see Freckles when I wasn't around because I knew she wanted to be with the two of us like in high school; and part of me wanted that too. Well, February wouldn't be in Ann Arbor, so maybe she wouldn't know I was seeing Freckles. Maybe for this week I could be with Freckles; because, to be honest, I was still thinking that what February said was absurd, she just couldn't take off her mind she was my ex and she couldn't accept the fact we were just friends now. And that wasn't weird, lots of couples ended up being friends after they dated. When I arrived to my apartment, I found Joey and Jen drinking a hot chocolate on the couch, each one covered with a blanket; apparently they were talking about something funny, because they were giggling.

"I swear, Jen. When I kissed her... It was just like... Uh, no, this doesn't feel right. And she thought exactly the same! Your occurrences are the worst, Jen!" Joey exclaimed laughing.

"Well, at least you tried! I mean, you both are cute, you both are single... I thought it could work." Jen said shrugging, with an amused smirk, sipping her hot chocolate.

"Yeah... But we're just friends, so that's why it felt weird. Besides, I think we only kissed because it was the whole situation, the things we were talking, the way we were feeling... It just happened, we didn't even think... We just kissed." Joey said frowning slightly, sipping his hot chocolate and looking at nowhere in particular. He seemed to be thoughtful.

"I understand. Sometimes when you're talking to a friend about deep and emotional things as you were doing, one feels confused and for a moment you don't think, you just act on instinct. I think is the way human beings tend to act to feel someone is there, close to you." Jen said gently with a warm smile, looking at Joey.

"Yes, maybe that's why. The two of us needed to feel there was someone." Joey said shrugging with his gaze lost. "Good thing is we didn't feel awkward after the kiss. We both realized it wouldn't work and we both knew we're just meant to be friends. Anyway, I think the conversation we had and how close we felt in that moment, helped us to be somehow... more connected. Like, I think our friendship grew after all of those events." Joey said grinning brightly and Jen smiled widely, looking at him.

"That's so nice to hear. I think that considering you both are going through a similar situation, you can help each other. As friends, of course. Now we know that it'd be just as friends." Jen said giggling and Joey shook his head while laughing.

"Yeah, I think so." He stated and then he looked fixedly at Jen. "Jen, please, don't you dare to tell Darren what happened. He'd be totally mad if he finds out that I kissed Freckles." Joey said serious and I suddenly dropped my jaw, raised my eyebrows and widened my eyes, feeling completely puzzled.

"You did what?" I yelled and both Joey and Jen turned their faces to look at me stunned.

"Uh... Uh... Buddy, I can explain..." Joey started babbling nervously, but I was already running towards him. I pounced on him, tugged his hoodie, and I shook him.

"You did what, you fucker?" I yelled in his face as he was looking at me horrified.

"If you hit Joey, I'll be mad at you, Darren." Jen commented, but I ignored her comment.

"How the fuck you dare to kiss my girlfriend?" I asked rabidly.

"She's not your girlfriend, Darren." Jen pointed out.

"Whatever, goddammit! Tell me, you motherfucker! How you dare to kiss my ex-girlfriend? After all the shit I told you! After all the shit you saw! How you dare?" I asked very furious. It's been a while since the last time I felt this furious.

"Buddy, I can explain..." Joey stammered, obviously scared by the way I was yelling at him.

"Fuck! I knew it! I knew you wanted to get her! And you took advantage of the best opportunity you had to do what you always wanted to do! She's my ex, Richter, and you knew what she means to me! How could you? Argh!" I yelled annoyed, clenching my teeth, clenching my fist and showing it to Joey.

"Darren, Freckles doesn't belong to you. She's single and she's free and so is Joey. You have a girlfriend and her name is February. Joey and Freckles are free to do what they want. Let them be just as they let you be." Jen said very serious and firmly and I looked at her in disbelief.

"What the fuck are you saying, Jen?" I asked madly.

"I'm saying that Freckles doesn't owe you an explanation anymore. She deserves to be with someone, she deserves to feel love again and she deserves to kiss every guy she wants. You can't control her life anymore, Darren; you can't tell her with whom she must be or not. You can't decide for her because you and she aren't anything more than friends. So, you should stop doing these scenes of jealousy; because you seem like one of those crazy guys who are still after their ex-girlfriends. And that's not cool, not when you even have a girlfriend." Jen pointed out, frowning and looking deeply into my eyes; fearless, unlike Joey.

"Listen, there's something you don't understand, Jen." I said coldly. "I don't fucking care with who Freckles decides to be, I don't fucking care how many guys she kisses or she sleeps with... I don't care! It's her life! But I'm not gonna stand how my ex and my best friend kiss. Because Joey knew all the shit! He knew everything about Freckles and Freckles knew he's my best friend! That's not right!" I stated harshly.

"Why isn't it right, eh?" Jen challenged me.

"Because Joey knew what she means to me!" I exclaimed loudly.

"And what does she mean to you, Darren?" She challenged again and I babbled, again trying to think about a good answer.

"You know it, Jen. Freckles was the girl I loved the most. I really suffered when we grew apart and you know how hard it was for me to be away from her, to not know anything about her; I fucking loved her, Jen. You know how fucking much I loved her." I said with trembling voice, but not in a harsh way.

"Yes, I know, Darren." Jen said looking at me ruefully. "And you were a perfect couple. You were lovely together and she also loved you so much. It was really sad to see how you grew apart for unfair reasons." She added and I looked down, freeing Joey's hoodie. "But then you saw again and you talked and agreed to be friends. You moved on and you got a very nice girlfriend; and she also moved on but she kept being single. You're just friends, Darren, and you made that decision, no one forced you. You could have made another decision, the decision of trying to get her back; but no, you decided to be just her friend. So you must act like a friend, and not like an ex-boyfriend, if you want to make your friendship work." Jen pointed out in a gentle way. "And for that you must understand that her private decisions don't need your approval; yes, you can advise her, but you can't tell her what she must or must not do. You can't control Joey's life either; because it wouldn't be fair, because you wouldn't like them to do that to you. Freckles accepted the fact that she can't tell you who you must date; and she lets you be happy with February and she doesn't mess in your relationship. You should do the same for her and for all your friends." Jen said softly and I remained looking down, frowning and feeling bad.

"Yes, I understand that. But... Why, Joey? You knew it would make me feel mad. Why have you kissed her? Why her of all people?" I asked looking fixedly at Joey and he looked down and bit his lips.

"Because we were talking about deep stuff and we both were feeling alone. It just happened; we didn't even think about what we were doing. We thought we'd feel less lonely that way. The kiss didn't even last too much because it didn't work." Joey answered and I sighed.

"So what? Are you something now?" I asked, looking away.

"Yes... We're friends." Joey answered and I nodded. "I'm sorry, buddy. It wasn't intentional."

"Forget it. Jen said it; Freckles must not mean anything to me now." I said serious and I stood up to walk to my bedroom.

"I didn't say that, Darren! You're overstating!" Jen exclaimed but I kept walking away from them.

I entered my bedroom and I closed the door. I pounced on my bed and I buried my head on my pillow. Crap, Jen was right. I shouldn't mess with Freckles' relationships, just as she wasn't messing with mine. I should stop being so selfish. I shouldn't have felt mad about the fact that Joey and Freckles kissed. They both were free and they didn't owe me anything. I should get used to seeing Freckles with a guy if I really wanted to be her friend; because Jen was right; I made that decision of being just her friend and no one forced me to decide that. After a while, I heard how someone opened the door and seconds later I saw Jen and Joey sitting on the floor next to my bed.

"I'm sorry, buddy." Joey said in whisper.

"Forget it, man." I responded.

"No, I want you to listen." Joey said firmly. "The kiss with Freckles was just a mistake; something we didn't plan and I apologize for that. If we kissed it was because we were talking about our relationships and we both were feeling alone." He admitted and I finally looked at him. He was looking down and Jen was taking one of his hands, looking at him with a sad half-smile. "I felt comfortable with Freckles when I was telling her my story with the girl I met in summer and that maybe confused me and that's why I kissed her. I didn't even like that kiss and she didn't like it either. It felt awkward and we even joked about it, saying it would never work." Joey said frowning slightly and I nodded. I knew he was telling the truth. "And Freckles kissed me because she was feeling bad. She is feeling bad." Joey said and I frowned. I didn't think she was not doing well. She was always smiling and laughing. "Yeah, sure she pretends she's fine because she wants to keep being that cheerful girl; but I've noticed since weeks she's not doing fine. So we talked about it… She feels alone, even if she is aware she has many friends, she feels lonely."

"Really?" I asked frowning and Joey nodded. "I didn't know that. Since when?"

"I don't know exactly since when; but I think it's been since a long time now." Joey answered and I believed him.

"She never mentioned anything…" I said thoughtful. I didn't want her to feel alone.

"Yeah… Well, that's why I told you. I thought you'd like to know, because she's your friend." Joey responded.

"Yes, thank you… Maybe we all should help her to make her feel okay as before." I commented and Jen grinned slightly.

"That's why I was thinking that maybe we could invite her to spend the night here. It's Thanksgiving, after all, and she shouldn't be alone. Maybe we could order something to eat and just fool around." Jen suggested and I nodded.

"Yes, I think it's a good idea. I could sleep in Joey's bedroom and you and Freckles could sleep in my bedroom." I proposed and both Joey and Jen nodded in agreement. "Well, let's call her. I don't think she already has plans… So…"

"Yes, I'll call her!" Jen exclaimed with a bright grin. I knew she really wanted to see Freckles so I smiled slightly.

After Jen called Freckles, she drove to Freckles' residence to pick her up with the car Jen rented as I stayed with Joey in our apartment, trying to clean it a little because everything was really messy, especially my bedroom and the kitchen full of unwashed dishes in the sink. Twenty minutes later, Jen and Freckles were entering the apartment. I looked at Freckles and I saw a bright smile on her face, but when I looked at her eyes, I perceived a hint of sadness. I didn't know if it was indeed sadness or if it was because now I knew she felt lonely; but she was smiling as always, and that was something beautiful of her. I thought that I was gonna miss her after this week, after February's return; so I had to exploit my time with her. Dang! This was unfair. I walked towards her and I embraced her as a way to greet her and it felt nice when she clasped me in her arms. Then she greeted Joey with another embrace and then she looked at us, with the same bright smile.

"I brought my specialty to celebrate this night." Freckles said as Jen showed us a tray wrapped in paper.

"What is it?" Joey asked intrigued.

"Chocolate molten lava cake." Freckles answered and I noticed Joey was about to drool, so I giggled.

"You have no idea how long it's been since the last time I ate that. Jeez!" Joey exclaimed.

"Well, Freckles brought the dessert. It's only fair if we get something for dinner, something tasty." Jen suggested and Joey and I nodded in agreement. "Maybe we could buy food, I don't think any of us wants to cook something."

"Yeah, maybe an herb roasted turkey with mashed potatoes and green beans to make it as a real thanksgiving dinner. I invite this time." I proposed and I noticed how Joey's face lit up.

"That seems like a pretty good idea." Jen responded with a joyful grin.

"Yeah... Umm... Guys, why don't you go buy it as I prepare everything for dinner with Freckles?" I asked a bit uncomfortable.

"Why don't you go, Darren, as Jen and I prepare everything? Because I have no idea where to buy that turkey." Joey said and I frowned and scratched the nape of my neck.

"But... umm..." I muttered.

"I know where we can buy it. Maybe Jen and I could go." Freckles commented.

"Yeah... Umm... But... Freckles, why don't you tell them where they can buy it?" I suggested, feeling even more uncomfortable. Damn... Why nobody could understand that what I really wanted was to be with Freckles alone for a few minutes?

"Why? Freckles could perfectly go with Jen in the car..." Joey started saying and I sighed and shot a withering look at Joey, to see if this way he could understand, but he kept talking.

"Joey!" I exclaimed very loudly, widening my eyes and raising my eyebrows, looking fixedly at him.

"Joey, I wanna go with you because I want to show you something." Jen suddenly said and I looked at her and she smiled at me knowingly and nodded. Finally someone who understood!

"Okay, fine." Joey said, finally noticing what I wanted.

I gave Jen my wallet and Freckles told Joey where they could buy the food. When Jen and Joey left, I started setting the table with Freckles' help. I didn't know how to start the conversation and she kept talking about random things and mostly how much she loved snow. Now that Joey told me how she was truly feeling; I could notice she was forcing herself to pretend to be very happy and cheerful. When we finished setting the table, Freckles commented something that she has brought a cd with music to listen during the dinner and she also said that she brought a movie or something like that. I was just thinking how to start the conversation and when Freckles walked to the couch where her purse was, I walked towards her and I placed my hands on her shoulders to make her turn around and look at me. When she did that, I held her hands and she looked deeply into my eyes, maybe a little surprised.

"Freckles... I really wanted to be with you alone. The real reason why I wanted Joey and Jen go buy the food was because I wanna show you something." I confessed bluntly and Freckles raised slightly her eyebrows in amazement.

"Oh! Okay... What is that thing you wanna show me?" She asked curiously.

"I'll have to take you to my bedroom." I said and I noticed how she looked at me in suspicion. Maybe it sounded bad. "It's just that to show you what I want I need something that is in my bedroom." I added and she just nodded silently.

I walked Freckles to my bedroom, holding hands, like those old times when we were only friends and we used to walk holding hands. This was something that February would never understand; even when Freckles and I were just friends we had a pretty unconventional way to act around each other; this was the only way I knew to be friends with her, because it was always like that. And I liked it; but well, I had to sacrifice it for February because I really wanted to make things work with her. I made Freckles sit in my bed and I smiled at her before walking to my keyboard. I sat and I pressed down some keys. Then I looked at Freckles again and she was looking at me curiously.

"Well... I want to sing you something." I stated and Freckles grinned slightly. "Remember that time it was raining and I was having a shitty day? When we encountered by mere coincidence and we ended up in the living room of your residence, drinking a coffee with your ukulele?" I asked and she nodded. "Well, I don't know if you remember... But I told you I wanted to sing something to you, but then I sang another song, related to the rain or something like that."

"Yes, I remember. You told me you were going to sing a song you wrote." She responded.

"Exactly. Well, actually it's a song I wrote to you long time ago." I commented and I began to feel nervous as that rainy and shitty day. I still haven't sung it in front of anybody.

"A song for me?" She asked stunned, with a slight grin on her face.

"Yes, a song for you." I affirmed and she smiled warmly. Shit, I had to calm down, otherwise I wouldn't be able to play it good and I wanted to make it perfect. "Well... This song... I just really hope you like this song. I thought this would be the perfect moment to sing it, because it's Thanksgiving and I want you to know what you always meant to me and how thankful I am to have you in my life because you're an amazing person and although we're just friends, I still think we have a special connection that nobody would ever be able to replace and I hope we never lose it." I said looking deeply into her big eyes as she was smiling warmly and looking at me as though she was thrilled to hear those words. "So..." I sighed to chill out. "This song is for you, Freckles."

Right after that, I gulped and I focused on the keyboard. I wanted to sing it as it had to be sang, with all my feelings, because it was a meaningful song. So then I began to press down the keys. Alright, it was time.

I've been alone

Surrounded by darkness

I've seen how heartless

The world can be

I've seen you crying

You felt like it's hopeless

I'll always do my best

To make you see

Baby, you're not alone

'Cause you're here with me

And nothing's ever gonna bring us down

'Cause nothing can keep me from lovin' you

And you know it's true

It don't matter what'll come to be

Our love is all we need to make it through...

Now I know it ain't easy

But it ain't hard trying

Everytime I see you smiling

And I feel you so close to me...

And you tell me:

Baby, you're not alone

'Cause you're here with me

And nothing's ever gonna bring us down

'Cause nothing can keep me from lovin' you

And you know it's true

It don't matter what'll come to be

Our love is all we need to make it through...

I sang and I looked straight into her eye. She was looking deeply into my eyes and she was looking at me in a weird way, but not in a bad way. She had her lips parted, her head was slightly tilted and her eyes... They were shining and looked more beautiful than ever. I only wished she was enjoying the song. I looked at my keyboard again.

I still have trouble

I trip and stumble

Trying to make sense of things sometimes...

I look for reasons

But I don't need 'em

All I need is to look in your eyes

And I realize...

I sang in a very sweet way and, again, I looked into her eyes with a warm smile. She smiled back at me and this time I noticed how some tears were forming in the corner of her eyes.

Baby, I'm not alone

'Cause you're here with me

And nothing's ever gonna take us down

'Cause nothing can keep me from lovin' you

And you know it's true

It don't matter what'll come to be

Our love is all we need to make it through...

Oh, 'cause you're here with me

And nothing's ever gonna bring us down

Cause nothing, nothing, nothing

Can keep me from lovin' you

And you know it's true

It don't matter what'll come to be

You know our love is all we need

Our love is all we need

To make it through...

I finished singing in a whisper and when I finished playing the song on the piano, I dared to look up at Freckles. She was looking fixedly at me with teary eyes, she was even shedding some tears; but she did not look sad, she seemed moved. When she noticed I was looking at her, she smiled fondly at me and she wiped her tears away. She was the one who stood up and walked towards me. When she was next to me, I could see her eyes in detail and I figured out that her eyes still had that mesmerizing effect of saying everything without the need of speaking. Her eyes always captivated me and this time wasn't an exception. She took one of my hands in her very soft hands as I made her sit on my lap and she gave me a clinch. She clasped me in her arms and I clasped her in mine. I turned my face lightly and I grazed my nose across her neck. It was automatic: Her soft skin, her pleasant smell, her silky hair, and the warmth of her embrace acted like a click that formed in my memory a series of images in a matter of seconds of all the moments we shared together since the very first time we met until the most recent image of her looking at me and holding my hand before sitting on my lap. And it wasn't only images; it was also feelings and emotions. I felt all over again that extremely profound love I felt for her that I thought lost. And I felt mushy. I tangled my fingers in her short hair and I softly pulled her closer, even if it seemed impossible. My body started shaking slightly because of the thrill, I began to feel warm heatwaves rushing through my body, I felt all warm and fuzzy inside as my heart seemed to have stopped beating. From that moment I knew I was experiencing something so intense, so complete, so infatuating that I seemed to disappear, I kinda lost myself in her. And damn hell, it's been a long time since the last time I felt such a thing; no one ever made me feel this way; not even February. I held her tighter and I sighed in her ear.

"I loved you so much, Freckles." I whispered and my voice cracked because of the thrill. And with no shame, I began to shed tears while stroking her silky short hair.

"Me too, Darren, me too." She whispered back, also with choked voice. I felt even more sentimental; I frowned, pursed my lips and basically buried my face on her neck. "Thank you for the song, it was the most soulful and precious song I have ever heard. You have no idea..." She tried to keep talking, but she couldn't.

I slightly moved my face away to look into her big eyes again, now eyes full of tears. I wiped her tears away and then my fingers brushed her cheek, while we were looking intensely into each other's eyes. I couldn't help it, I was feeling very nostalgic and maudlin because of the song and all the memories of her; so I leaned over her, I closed my eyes and I pressed my lips against her soft and sweet lips while fondling her cheek with my thumb. When I kissed her in a very slow but tender way it's when I felt even more infatuated. Was this possible? Could it be possible that after all these months and year I still felt infatuated with her? Could I have been in constant denial of the entire situation all this time? I was just feeling exactly the same feelings than when we were dating. It was like I revived all of those feelings only with her eyes, the embrace and the kiss. And now I didn't want to stop kissing her; this was the most lively I've ever felt in the last few months. This was a real kiss and I felt bad that I never got to feel this with February. February...

"Darren..." Freckles warned, breaking the kiss. I gulped and frowned, resting my forehead on hers, grabbing both of her cheeks, still with my eyes closed.

"I know... I know, it's not right." I whispered weakly.

I was feeling bad for what I recently did, but not feeling completely bad. I felt bad for February because I couldn't have done such a thing to her; but the kiss was another thing, I couldn't feel bad for the kiss because I knew it was an authentic and soulful kiss. I pursed my lips and more tears streamed down my face while my eyes were still shut. Why was I feeling so rousing?

"Yeah. You have a girlfriend, Darren." She pointed out, but we remained pressing foreheads together.

"I know." I whispered in front of her lips, nuzzling her nose and fondling her cheeks with my thumbs. "But I just... I started writing this song when we were still dating and I finished it when I saw you again this year and... In that moment things weren't like now and... I always pictured kissing you after singing you this song. I... When I was singing, I began to feel every feeling I used to feel for you and when you hugged me... I just couldn't help it. I got carried away for what I was feeling." I confessed with choked voice and then I dared to open my eyes. She already had her eyes open and she was looking deeply into my eyes with tears in her own eyes. "I just felt like we were together again, even if it was in a matter of seconds. And it felt good."

"I know... I felt it too." She confessed and then looked down; shedding the tears she accumulated in her big eyes. "But it's not right."

"What if the right thing is if we get back together?" I wondered loudly.

"What if it was just a fleeting feeling produced for feeling close and connected only because of the emotion of hearing that song and that hug?" Freckles asked confused, still looking down. "What if it is that? I wouldn't like to screw up our relationship if it doesn't work... And you could lose February, a person who really loves you and who you seemingly adore." She added and I bit my lips, looked away and nodded slightly.

"I just thought that I was over you; but then I happened to feel all of this and now I can't be sure. What if I still love you? I love February, I really do; but I never got to feel with her what I recently felt for you. Freckles... You were... You were the only person who has ever made me feel this way, so lost in someone and so emotionally fulfilled." I admitted, taking her hands in mine and looking straight in her eye again.

"Don't do this to me, Darren. Because I know you'll come back with February when she returns and I'll be left here, with my hopes up in vain." Freckles whispered with teary voice.

"You feel something for me, Freckles? Tell me if you feel something for me and I'll give everything up to be with you and make it work." I said surefire, looking intensely into her eyes, feeling how my heart was beating fast because of the nervousness and fervor. Freckles shook her head slowly. "Tell me if you have at least the slightest feeling for me because I'll choose you of all people. Just tell me the true-true because your answer can change everything, Freckles." I requested jittery.

"I don't know, Darren. But... You can't say that. You can't just give up everything only because..."

"Yes, I can, Freckles, I can. I can and I will do it if you tell me you feel something for me." I interrupted her in a very edgy way.

"No!" Freckles exclaimed loudly, finally looking at me. I raised my eyebrows, feeling stunned. "No." She repeated, more softly this time, with distressed eyes. "You're just feeling confused because this entire situation was very poignant and we remembered things of our past that might not be the same if we get back together now. You said it, Darren, you love February. She is your girlfriend now. And maybe you never felt for her the same you felt for me because you didn't give her the chance to show you all her love. I was there in the restaurant this morning; I saw you and you looked happy with her. I can't be selfish and tell you that I feel something for you if my feelings are a mess, because I might be depriving your happiness with someone who is sure of loving you. You deserve to fall in love with someone again, and I know I deserve it too; but you found someone who is really nice, funny, kind, and beautiful and who loves you. You'll be unhappy with me while I'm trying to learn how to love myself again. And I do want to see you happy; because I love you, but I still don't know what way." Freckles avowed while sobbing, yet looking into my eyes all the time. I closed my eyes and I ran a hand over my face.

"You're the love of my life, Freckles." I whispered with my eyes still shut. Then I opened them and I looked at her. She was looking at me sadly, pursing her lips.

"I was the love of your life and you were mine. Now February will be the love of your life, you'll marry her, you'll have kids and even grandchildren; you'll have the life you always dreamed of." Freckles said sweetly, fondling my cheeks with her thumbs. I placed my hands firmly on her cheeks and I looked piercingly into her beautiful eyes.

"I always dreamed that life with you, Freckles. I always dreamed of seeing you walking down the aisle with a beautiful white dress to marry me; I dreamed of living with you in our own house, designing, building and decorating it together; I dreamed of having gorgeous kids with your cute freckles, raising them together and seeing them growing up; I dreamed of seeing our grandchildren and telling them our story; and I dreamed of growing old with you, seeing each other with gray hair, wrinkled and trembling voice and hands, but sticking together and loving each other till the end. I only dreamed that life with you, only with you." I said very sincere, looking profoundly into her eyes as she smiled half sadly and half kindly.

"You'll have it all, Dare, only that with another girl. And I can always be there with you as your friend. Maybe we'll go our separate ways because we'll have our own lives to lead; but we can always come to each other. There will be part of my heart with you through thick and through thin. I can be there when you marry and when you have kids, and you can be there with me when I marry and when I have kids. We can still be always together. We will tell your grandchildren and my grandchildren our story of our irreplaceable friendship. We will grow old together, as lifetime friends. I'll be that lifelong friend who has supported you, shared with you, listened to you, and encouraged you throughout your life; and you'll be the same for me. And that will be wonderful." Freckles said smiling sweetly, still caressing my cheeks as I still had my hands placed on her cheeks, crying in silence like a little boy.

"That girl should have been you, Freckles." I insisted. I haven't realized till now all the things I dreamed with her that now maybe will never come true. When she heard this, she looked down and shed some silent tears.

"Guys? Sorry we took so long, but we couldn't find the place that Freckles said!" We suddenly heard Joey saying from the living room. This was so unfortunate. "Guys?" I heard Joey's voice asking. "Guys, I said that..." I heard Joey's voice saying, now from the door of my bedroom.

I noticed how his voice faded away while he was speaking and saw us. Of course, we were in my bedroom alone, Freckles was sitting on my lap and we were crying. I frowned, bit my lips and looked away and I sensed how Freckles did the same. I honestly couldn't pretend I was fine and I couldn't stop the tears, so I didn't dare to look at Joey and now Jen too.

"We... Uh... We are gonna..." Joey muttered nervously, apparently uncomfortable because he realized this was not a good moment.

"Would you guys give us a minute?" I asked, avoiding their gazes.

"Sure. Take all the time you need." Jen answered politely.

She took Joey by his elbow and forced him to step outside because he seemed to be too stunned to make any kind of movement. Then she closed the door and I looked at Freckles again. She was still looking away, pursing her lips and sobbing silently.

"I'm so sorry, Freckles. I wanted to make this moment perfect, with the song for you and all; but I turned it all into a sad moment." I apologized, wiping my tears away as she shook slightly her head.

"No, you made it perfect. You surprised me and the song was truly precious and so meaningful that you really made me feel I wasn't alone; and that was something I needed to realize. Thank you for giving me such a wonderful moment." Freckles responded kindly, giving me a gentle buss on my cheek. "And the conversation we just had... It was something we needed to talk about. I really don't know what will happen to us; I don't know if we'll ever get back together or not, but I know and I'm very sure that we will be always together; because, despite everything, I still think we are made for each other, regardless if it's as friends or as a couple. We'll always be soulmates, I believe." She said grinning yearningly.

I looked deeply into her eyes in a fond way, smiling back. I placed a hand on the back of her head and I made her lean her head, so then I kissed her forehead for few seconds. Right after that, I parted and I grinned at her while stroking her hair.

"You're right. We'll always be soulmates, whether as friends or as a couple." I replied softly and she smiled warmly. "I'm just very lucky and very thankful for having you in my life." I said gently and then I enfolded her gently in my arms as she rested her head on my chest and wrapped her arms around my waist.

"And I'm very thankful for having you in my life, Dare." She said sweetly and I noticed a grin on her face.

"You gotta promise we'll be lifelong friends." I said with a soft giggle.

"I promise. No matter what, we'll be lifelong friends cause, as you wrote in your song, our love is all we need to make it through." She winked at me and I chuckled.

"That's right. Give me five!" I exclaimed and Freckles, laughing, high-fived me. "Cool! Now, what if we go eat whatever the guys bought?" I proposed.

"That's a good idea. I'm starving!" She exclaimed with a giggle.

"Just one last thing…" I said and she looked at me amused and curiously. "One last hug?"

"You said it as if it would be the last hug, Criss!" She responded while laughing and I chuckled softly. Yet, she held me in her arms and I nuzzled her neck. "You're tickling me, Darren!" She laughed.

"Oh, did you forget that I love tickling you?" I asked amused, looking into her eyes with a bright grin, placing my hands on her waist.

"Don't you dare, Criss." She warned amused.

"Okay, only for this time you'll be safe... But watch out because I could tickle you in any moment, when you less expect!" I exclaimed while chuckling.

"And I will revenge. Consider it for granted." She challenged in a mischievous way and I couldn't help wrapping my arms around her again, resting my head on her chest.

"Ah! Those were the answers I always loved from you." I exclaimed with a grin as she stroked my curls. Then I raised my head to give her a buss on her jawline. "I adore you, Freckles."

"I adore you too, Dare." She answered with a fondly smile, kissing my forehead.

"Alright, lady..." I said, standing up with her in my arms as she wrapped her arms around my neck and giggled. "How about we make a very impressive and crazy entrance?"

"Let's do it!" She agreed very amused.

"Okay, hold onto me firmly because I'll run and I wouldn't like to fall down on the floor, crushing you." I joked and she nodded. "Let's scream like very insane people and then let's yell happy thanksgiving. What do you say?"

"I like it. But... Let's do it while running around them in circles! That would seem even more insane." She proposed and I laughed.

"Yeah, totally. Ready?" I asked.

"Ready, sir!" She exclaimed loudly.

I walked to the door with Freckles in my arms and I opened it. We looked at each other and nodded before I started running and we both started screaming like insane people. Joey and Jen jumped because of the fear and looked at us disconcerted as I started running around them in circles as Freckles suggested. Freckles and I started yelling 'Happy Thanksgiving' as Jen and Joey were looking at us as if we were crazy, also a bit confused because the last thing they saw was Freckles and I sobbing; but after a while, they began to laugh out loud and they even joined us. Joey took Jen in his arms and they started to run behind us and we all started running around the living room, yelling our lungs out the words 'Happy Thanksgiving' repeatedly. After a while, Joey stumbled upon the coffee table and he tottered with Jen until they fell down, making me and Freckles fall down too. All in all, we all ended up on the floor, laughing so hard we cried a little.

"Best thanksgiving ever!" Jen exclaimed while laughing, placing her hands on her tummy to control the laughter, just as all of us were doing.

---

Next day you woke up in Darren's bed, sleeping next to Jen. You smiled when you woke up, for the first time in a while you woke up in a very good mood, not feeling sick at all, and that was because you really had one of the best Thanksgiving Day ever with Jen, Darren and Joey. All the sadness you were feeling before seemed to be a distant feeling, now everything seemed all right. It was really good to have friends like them and damn, you really missed spending time together with Jen and Darren, and now also with Joey. You looked at Jen and you noticed she was fast asleep. It was normal, you went to bed really late and it was very early in morning; sometimes you hated your biological clock. You checked the time, it was 9 am and you only slept 4 hours but you couldn't sleep again. So you stayed in bed, but awake, thinking about the conversation you had with Jen when you went to bed and you were alone.

"Freckles, I missed you." She whispered when you were already lying in bed. You looked at her and grinned.

"I missed you too. I always felt like I needed my female best friend." You responded, also in a whisper because everything was already too silent.

"Me too. You were the only female friend from high school who was worth it to keep having." Jen said and you shifted your gaze. It was your fault that you and she grew apart.

"I wish things could have been different; but that night when Darren left me... I just felt like I couldn't be near anything that reminded me of him. And you were his best friend, so it hurt me to leave without saying anything for an entire year... But I just needed to recover, I was devastated that time. I'm sorry, Jen. I should have stayed and I should have dealt with my own troubles without hurting anyone else; because I know I hurt you when I disappeared." You explained and apologized, staring the ceiling. You sensed how Jen took one of your hands.

"Yes, it hurt because you were my closest friend besides Darren; but I honestly could understand you. Although I knew that Darren never intended to leave you because you were his biggest love, I was aware that what you knew was that he just left you because you didn't want to get laid with him. So I could understand that you were really sad and you wanted to be away from all the emotional pain of thinking that your first love left you for such terrible reason. I just wished I could have found you to tell you how things actually were, so you could get back with him because you were lovely as a couple; or at least to be that friend you could lean on, to give you all the support and consolation you needed." Jen said kindly and you began to feel very moved and sensitive. "You don't even have to apologize for all the things that have happened; because even though I'd have preferred you to stay, I knew you needed to restore yourself after that sad moment." She added and you nodded, even if she couldn't see you because it was dark. "Besides, what really matters is that you're here now and we have a chance to be again those great friends we used to be. It's useless to lament about the things that happened in the past, we should rather enjoy the present, don't you think?" She asked and though you couldn't see her, you knew she was smiling.

"What can I say, Jen? Your words were always wise; you always knew what to say and what to do to make others feel better and I always admired that of you." You answered grinning as she chuckled.

"And I always admired how much of awesome and warm-hearted person you are. I guess we're even." Jen replied, still chuckling. "Freckles... May I ask you something?"

"Of course." You whispered.

"What happened between Darren and you when Joey and I went to buy the food?" She asked curiously and you pursed your lips. You knew that sooner or later Joey and Jen would ask about it.

"Well, after we set the table, Darren told me he wanted to show me something, so he took me to his bedroom. He played his piano and sang a song he wrote to me long time ago, as way to show me he was thankful for having me in his life, regardless of all that happened in the past and our separation." You started explaining, trying to tell the truth but omitting certain things that were better to keep as secret for the sake of everyone, especially for Darren who, at some way, cheated on February. "It was a very soulful and beautiful song, so I, as well as Darren, felt thrilled. Consequently, I hugged him because I was so touched that I couldn't talk and I wanted to thank him some way. We were having a moment and we talked about things we couldn't talk before because lately we're too busy with our respective stuff. So we were very sensitive, that's why you found us crying and that's why Darren asked if you could give us a minute, because by that time we were in the middle of this conversation." You explained.

"Now I get it... But what were you talking about?" She asked curiously again and you bit your lips before answering. You had to think what to say without mentioning the kiss and all that.

"We talked about our past, future and relationships." You answered, thinking that answer was enough, but Jen remained silent, as if she was expecting you to elaborate. "We talked about how unfair was the way we grew apart because we didn't deserve that; but what's done is done and cannot be undone. We talked about February and I told him that I was glad to see she is making him happy; I told him that it seems she really loves him and he truly deserves to fall in love again, with someone else. Therefore we talked about the future; how we both always imagined having a future together, having kids, grandchildren and growing old together. I told him we can still have it all, only that he'll have a family with another girl and I'll have mine with another boy; but we can still grow old together as lifelong friends. It was a deep conversation." You said trying to be as honest as possible.

"Freckles, that's beautiful. No doubt why you were feeling so touched. I really hope you and Darren can always be lifelong friends; and I hope I can also grow old with you two too. It would be nice to be in our eighties and recall everything we shared throughout our lives." Jen said and you sensed a warm grin on her face.

"Jen, that's a must. We must grow old together, the three of us, and tell our grandchildren our story and adventures." You said kindly, taking on of her hands. "The three of us will be lifelong friends."

"Yes, I hope so." She whispered and then you tilted your head to rest it on Jen's shoulder. "Freckles... What do you think of February?" Jen asked and you closed your eyes. You really had to answer that?

"She's a very friendly and funny person. We are kind of friends and I'm glad Darren is with such a good person. I think she's a right girl for Darren." You answered.

"Hmm... I don't know her that much, but I hope she's the one for Darren and I hope she does not hurt him." She replied and you just nodded. "And how do you feel about seeing them together? Are you totally okay with that or you feel weird?" She asked. Crap, you forgot how good Jen was to finding out what people were feeling or thinking.

"To be honest, I feel a little weird. I guess it's only because this is the first time I see him with a girl and I'm sure he'll feel the same if he ever sees me with a guy. But I'm okay with that and I'm glad he could move on and take the chance to start a relationship with someone." You responded honestly.

"But... Have you ever considered getting back with him?" She insisted.

"Yes, of course I considered that possibility. But the two of us changed a lot while we were separated, so it would never be as it was. We kissed few times since the day we met again, and it didn't work. Maybe this is the best for us, to be just friends. And it's been months since we met again and we're still friends, so I really think we can be great friends, just as we were in high school before we started dating." You answered with a slight smile.

"So, are you sure you don't love him?" Jen asked.

"No, I do love him; but I'm not in love with him." You answered and Jen sighed. "What?"

"It's just... February maybe is a friendly and funny person as you said; but she will never be as you. I always loved the idea of you and Darren together. I think I'll never fully accept a girl for Darren because you were the perfect girl for him as well as Darren was the perfect boy for you." Jen responded and you chuckled softly.

"Give February a chance, you'll like her and maybe she'll surprise you and you'll realize she is now the perfect girl for him. I bet Darren would really like if you accept his girlfriend, just as I'd like if you accept my future boyfriend." You commented and you could sense that she was hesitating.

"Maybe... Anyway, I'll have to get used at it. And if you ever find a boy, I want to be the first one to know him, because I'll have to check if he's good enough for you." Jen stated and you giggled.

"Okay, it's a deal." You agreed with an amused smirk.

"Good." She said while yawning. "Hmm, I think I'll get some sleep now. Goodnight, Freckles."

"Goodnight, Jen." You whispered gently.

"Freckles?" She suddenly whispered.

"Hmm?" You muttered with your eyes already closed.

"You'll stay the whole week here, just so you know. I missed you, so you'll stay here." She voiced.

"But… This is not…" You started refusing.

"Goodnight, Freckles." She interrupted you and you noticed a satisfied grin on her face.

You looked at Jen who was still asleep and you smiled at her. Then, silently and careful to not wake her, you got up and dressed up. You walked to the bathroom and you made your routine of brushing teeth, washing face, combing hair, applying facial moisturizer and putting on makeup. Then you headed to the kitchen to have breakfast, surely alone because everybody was sleeping this early in the morning. But when you entered the kitchen, you found Darren sitting on the breakfast bar, drinking a coffee while reading a newspaper. You smirked amused because he totally looked like an old man... He was reading a newspaper at 9 am. Really? Sneakily, you walked towards him and you stood behind him. Then you poked out your head.

"Are you entertained?" You asked and Darren jumped, spilling some coffee on the newspaper.

"Holy crap, you!" Darren exclaimed loudly when he looked at you and you burst out laughing, sitting next to him. "I was very entertained until you arrived and scared the crap out of me!" He complained, but in an amused way.

"I'm sorry... I had to scare you; I could not resist the temptation." You responded with a snicker.

"I'm gonna revenge, guaranteed." He said jokingly and then he leaned over and kissed your cheek. "Good morning, Freckles." He said now gently, with a kind smile, so you automatically smiled back. "Do you want a coffee?" He offered.

"That would be nice." You answered with a goofy smile. Darren smirked, nodded and stood up to walk to the kitchen counter and pour coffee in a mug. Then he heated it on the microwave. "Why are you awake so early?" You asked curiously while waiting for your coffee. Darren grinned faintly but he did not answer. He took the mug out the microwave and walked to the breakfast bar again. He sat next to you and handed you the coffee. "Thanks, Dare." You said politely and took a sip of your coffee. "I can't believe you made this coffee. It tastes good."

"Hey, you!" Darren exclaimed amused and nudged you playfully. "I'm getting better, you know?" He commented with a proud smile, but then he laughed.

"Sure, Dare, sure." You snickered. "So... You didn't answer my question." You pointed out and he grinned faintly again.

"I just couldn't sleep. It seems that Joey decided to snore more than usual now that I had to sleep in his bedroom." He joked and you laughed, sipping your coffee. He rested his elbow on the bar and then he propped his head up on his hand, looking at you with a warm smile. "Do you always look this good this early in the morning?" He asked and you raised your eyebrows in surprise and then you chuckled.

"No, I look like this because I just got out from the bathroom. It's better if you don't see me as soon as I wake up; I look like a creepy monster." You made fun of yourself.

"Bullshit." Darren voiced and you shook your head, amused.

Then Darren's phone buzzed and when he looked at it, he frowned and huffed. Then you noticed he had dark circles under his eyes and he actually looked tired. Maybe he hasn't slept well last night.

"What's wrong?" You asked intrigued and he sighed.

"February wouldn't stop texting me all night long. If I slept three hours is just luck." He answered a bit annoyed and you just nodded. "I don't know what's wrong with her... She is questioning me all the time what I'm doing and with who I am, suspecting I'm cheating on her or something." He added and you just looked down and bit your lips. Well, he actually did it. He noticed your face, so he looked at you. "Well, what happened last night..."

"I don't know what you are talking about. We just were in your bedroom because you wanted to sing to me and then we just talked. Nothing else." You said with a slight smile and he looked down and pursed his lips. "Dare, don't worry... I won't mention anything of what happened last night; the last thing I want is to ruin your relationship with February, so my lips are sealed." You said reassuringly, placing a hand on his shoulder. He grinned faintly and placed a hand above yours.

"Thanks, Freckles." He whispered gently and leaned over to kiss your hand. Then he rested his cheek on your hand that was still on his shoulder. "I'm sorry for talking about February with you; I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable." He apologized, with his gaze lost.

"Hey, you don't make me feel uncomfortable. You can always talk to me about her if you want or if you need. I'm willing to listen and to give you an advice if you need one." You responded amiably.

"That's so nice from you, Freckles." Darren said with a warm smile, looking up straight in your eye. Afterwards he looked down and sighed. "She's so insecure, Freckles." He said sadly and you curled one of his curls on your finger.

"Don't worry about it, Darren. As far as I know, you're the best in dealing with insecure girls and make them feel special and loved. If you don't believe it, then think of you and I in high school. I was probably the most insecure girl in world, yet you made a great job with me; you made me be more self-confident and you made me feel loved. You can do that again." You commented with a sweet grin. Darren looked at you again and he grinned widely with his bright hazel eyes.

"Your words were always very uplifting." He said with that fond smile and then he enfolded his arms around you, still resting his head on your shoulder. "I love you, Freckles." He whispered and you grinned while running your fingers through his curly and bushy hair. "I guess I can make it again." He said and then he sat upright. "Now, what are you doing awake this early?"

"Oh, I have a routine. I always wake up early to go jogging. But I guess I'll skip it today." You answered while shrugging.

"Why? Hey, we could go for a walk. I won't go jogging because that's not my thing, but we can walk. What do you say?" He asked and you raised your eyebrows.

"You really wanna do that?" You asked.

"Yes, really. I really want some fresh air and clear my mind. Besides, it's been a while since the last time we took a walk together." He responded while standing up.

"Alright!" You exclaimed cheerfully, taking one last sip of your coffee.

Darren grabbed his coat and backpack and you did the same; you two put on wool gloves, beanies and scarves. When you walked outside you felt the cold breeze in your face; it wasn't snowing, but it snowed at night. When you came down the steps, you almost slipped because it was frosty; fortunately Darren caught you on time.

"Bad idea to go for a walk with those high heels boots when it's all frosted." He said chuckling while taking you by the elbow, helping you down all the steps.

"I didn't bring other shoes... How would I know it'd be frosty?" You asked while frowning.

"It's almost winter and we're in Ann Arbor, Freckles." He answered amused.

"Well, I've never seen snow before, so how would I know that these kind of things could happen? For me snow was something very soft and nice, and it turned out to be kind of annoying sometimes; you always get your clothes wet when you touch the snow, you slip all the time and when it's frosty, the snow doesn't look so white and wonderful as in movies." You complained and Darren laughed out loud.

"Welcome to real life, Freckles." He voiced with a mischievous smirk. Then you started walking and you almost slipped again, but Darren caught you again and then he held your hand and walked like this. "But hey, snow is great. We could plan with Jen and Joey to go ice skating or to go skiing. That's super funny."

"I can't even walk in snow and you expect me to ice skate or ski? You're out of your mind!" You joked, but talking in all seriousness, though. He just burst out laughing.

"You can always learn, Freckles. We didn't born knowing everything. And it'll be worth it." He responded and you shook your head with an amused smile.

"You just wanna see how I slip, I fall and I make weird movements as if my body were made of jelly to try to maintain my balance, so later you can make fun of me and scream your lungs out: Look! That's the jelly woman!" You exclaimed, impersonating Darren's voice. Darren, again, burst out laughing. "And your plan will go swimmingly when people around start screaming their lungs out the same thing, maybe throwing confetti made of snow, and turning the screaming into a very disturbing song... It'll be something like... Freckles can't ice skate, Freckles can't ice skate, Freckles cannot ice skate; she only slips and falls and she cannot ice skate. And then you'll scream: Who looks stupid now? You do!" You sang with a random melody and Darren laughed even louder. "And after that, you'll have to get me some Nasonex, you swine! But you'll tell me that because I failed I'll have to be your slave for a whole day, starting now; so you won't get me the Nasonex and I'll live with my stuffy nose forever and ever! And I won't find it surprising at all." You exclaimed and he was already shedding tears because of the laughter. You giggled because Darren's laugh was very catchy.

"Have I ever said you're one of the funniest people I know?" He asked with an amused smirk and you raised an eyebrow, with an amused smirk. "I'll definitely make fun of you, but still, it'll be worth it." He commented and you nudged him playfully. When you did this, one of your feet slipped and you felt how your body slid back. Darren placed one hand on your back and another on your waist before you could fall on your back.

"Oh, jeez! Thank you!" You exclaimed with trembling voice and body because of the sudden fear. Darren linked his arm with yours.

"What if we get you a pair of new shoes?" He suggested and you nodded.

"Good idea." You answered.

You went to the nearest shoe store you found and you chose a pair of UGG Adirondack Boot II. They were really fashionable and also very warm. The seller said they had a superb insulation that kept out the snow, rain and icy winds; that it was made of waterproof nubuck leather, and that the northotic dual-density footbed had a firmer arch for more stability. He convinced you. Yes, the boots were very expensive, but they were worth it, so you bought them. Darren insisted to pay, but you refused strongly because, seriously, they cost $240. You told the seller you were going to wear them now and then you left the shop.

"Oh, this feels better! Look, I can walk, jump and run!" You exclaimed very excited, showing him all you could do now, so he giggled. "I feel free!" You exclaimed loudly with your hands up.

"Cool it, slave... You still have to ice skate!" Darren exclaimed with a mischievous smirk.

"There you go, screwing my happiness!" You exclaimed and threw him a snowball.

"Hey!" Darren exclaimed while wiping the snow away from his coat. He made a snowball and threw it to you and it hit straight in your face. "Aha! Who has the best shot? I do! Boo-ya!" He mocked.

"Don't count your chickens before they hatch, Criss!" You answered back and threw him two snowballs, one on his face and another on his crotch. Darren wiped the snow away from his face and then he looked at his crotch.

"Naughty!" He laughed and then he bit his lips and threw you a snowball on your breast. "Now we're even."

"Not at all!" You responded and you crouched to grab snow and make another snowball; but Darren ran to you, wrapped his arms around your waist from behind and he started spinning with you. "No, leave me! Leave me!" You yelled while laughing.

"I'm gonna make you feel so dizzy that you won't be able to shoot me with that snowball!" He voiced, also giggling.

"No! Stop! Or... or... or I'm gonna throw up in your face!" You shouted and Darren stopped abruptly.

"Yuck! You're so gross, Freckles!" Darren exclaimed, moving his hands away and you grinned triumphantly.

"But I got what I wanted. Zing!" You answered with a very goofy grin, showing all your teeth. He looked at you frowning but you noticed an amused smile.

"Pfft, I only stopped because I was tired." He replied, shrugging.

"Meh, sure it was for that." You voiced, smirking mischievously.

"Hey, I have an idea." Darren suddenly said and you looked at him. "What if we go to your dorm room and you pack some stuff, so you stay at my apartment with Joey and Jen this week?" He proposed and you chuckled because you remembered the conversation with Jen. "What? Is it a bad idea?"

"No, it's just that Jen told me to do the same." You answered.

"Oh well, great minds think alike." Darren winked, boasting himself. "So... What do you think, eh?"

"Alright, I guess it'd be nice to be in company instead of being alone in my dorm room." You responded, smiling softly.

"Great! It'd be super funny!" He exclaimed excited, with a very bright grin.

"Tell me the truth, Criss. You want me there because you need someone to do the dishes and cook." You jested and he chuckled.

"Nuh-uh." He voiced. "Well, maybe it's part of the deal, but not the only reason." He added and you shook your head and snickered. "Just to spend more time together, you know, all together."

"Fine, fine; I'll accept only because I want to spend more time with Jen now that she's here." You responded and you saw how Darren pouted.

"Not with me?" He asked with a sad voice, clearly joking.

"Oh, come on, Darren! I can see you every day, don't be a pain in the ass." You bantered and Darren walked closer to you and he took your hands in his, still pouting.

"You're making me feel like a sad panda, and a sad panda it's not a cool panda." He said and you chuckled softly. "At least lie to me!"

"Okay, I wanna stay at your apartment because I wanna be with you all the time and I want to have breakfast, lunch and dinner with you and I really but I really wanna do the dishes and cook very tasty meals to you." You said and he smiled in a silly way, showing all his teeth.

"Yay! I knew it!" He exclaimed and you shook your head, amused. "Now, let's go to your dorm room."

So that Darren and you headed to the bus stop and took the bus to the North Campus. The North Campus never looked so empty as now that almost no one was in Ann Arbor because of Thanksgiving. It was cool, though, that everything was quiet. You headed to the Bursley Hall housing and before you arrived, Darren's phone rang. He took it out his jeans pocket and when he checked who it was he frowned and then looked at you.

"Sorry, I have to take this call." He apologized and you nodded. You stood there and Darren walked away, answering the call. "Hi, Feb." You heard, but then he walked farther, so you couldn't hear him anymore.

You got entertained looking at your new boots, as a way to get entertained with something while you were waiting for Darren. Why would he look so annoyed when February texted or called him? Maybe they weren't going through a good moment, but that was weird because the last time you saw them together they seemed to be good. Maybe February was the kind of possessive girl besides of being insecure, and that was what annoyed him. Anyway, it was none of your business unless he decided to tell you something. When you were looking down, you saw a little yellow flower that survived the snow, so you crouched to look at it until you saw a pair of man's snow boots next to it. You looked up to see who it was. A tall guy with blonde hair was grinning widely at you.

"Hi, beautiful!" He greeted cheerfully and you stood up.

"Hi, Greg." You greeted politely. Damn, you haven't seen him since that frat party and you had images of that party in which you were flirting with him. "How are you?"

"I'm great!" He answered with the same wide smile, placing a hand on your arm to squeeze it. Shit, you didn't want him to think you were interested in him. When he put his hand down, you felt relieved. "How about you?"

"I'm good, just... Waiting for a friend..." You answered, pointing at Darren. You noticed that Darren looked at you both and frowned, but he kept talking on the phone.

"Oh, I know him... He went to the last party, right?" He asked and you just nodded. "By the way, I'm really sorry for what happened to you in that party. Jason, the guy who tried to abuse you, was expelled from the fraternity for what he did, just as all the guys who were helping him. I'm sorry I wasn't there to stop them, it's supposed that shouldn't have happened. I tried to contact you to apologize, but I didn't know anything about you; I couldn't even find you on Facebook." He explained and you smiled faintly. Well, maybe he wasn't trying to flirt with you, maybe he was just a nice guy.

"That's because my name on Facebook is not my real name, long story. Anyway, you don't have to apologize, it's not your fault, Greg. You were just taking care of another business. You were actually very nice to me at the party and thanks for taking care of me. I don't remember everything, but I remember you were nice to me; so thank you." You said gently, smiling at him. He grinned widely again and nodded.

"Everything for you, beautiful." He responded and you just chuckled a bit uncomfortable. "Hey, do you wanna go get a drink? Your friend can join us if he wants." He proposed and you looked away, not knowing how to say no in a polite way.

"Oy! It's just we were in middle of something." You answered.

"Is he... your boyfriend or something?" He asked and you raised your eyebrows and laughed.

"Not at all!" You replied.

"Oh, good thing, because I saw him with a girl at the party." He commented and you nodded.

"Yes, that's his girlfriend." You stated. "We were just going to my dorm room, so he could help me pack some stuff I need." You explained.

"Oh, I see, you're busy. Well, maybe another time!" He exclaimed joyfully and you nodded. "Can I have your number, so we can talk someday or something? You don't have to do so if you don't want, don't feel forced... It's just... I'd really like to know you more." He added and you looked down and bit your lips.

"Umm... Greg... Uh..." You babbled uncomfortably.

"I get it! Don't worry, maybe it was inappropriate on my part." He said looking down, yet still with a grin on his face. You felt kinda bad, maybe he only wanted to be friends with you and you were thinking the worst. "If you ever change your mind... Well, you know where to find me. If not, I guess we'll see each other around the campus." He said smiling and shrugging, now looking at you again.

"Oh, it's not that... It's just... Well, I have to be honest, so here I go..." You said taking a deep breath as he was looking at you curiously. "I have images that I flirted you with at the party... And I want you to know that I really didn't mean that; I don't want you to think I'm some kind of... of... slut... or that I really wanted to... you know..." You explained awkwardly and Greg was frowning but smirking amused.

"To have sex with me?" He asked and you sighed.

"Yeah, that." You answered, looking away, thinking how awkward this conversation was. You heard his laughter and you looked at him suspiciously.

"Yeah, you mentioned something like that at the party... But don't worry, I never thought you really wanted to do it. I don't think you're a slut and I understood you were feeling... horny because you were on drugs and alcohol." He commented and you nodded, biting you lips and looking away because of the shame you were feeling.

"Well, thanks... It's just I... I don't... I really don't wanna... you know, start some kind of weird relationship between us or whatever... I just... I don't want you to think that I..." You babbled like an idiot and Greg giggled softly.

"You don't want me to think you're interested in me and that I have chances with you, right?" He asked and you nodded slowly, avoiding his gaze and feeling super embarrassed. "I always knew that, beautiful." He added and you looked up at him surprised, raising your eyebrows. "When I said I wanted to know you more, I hope you understood it was just to know you more in a friendly way." He said and you muttered, feeling super awkward. He noticed it, so he laughed. "I always meant it in a friendly way. I... I'm not so into girls. I mean… I am into girls… But… Not so much…" He confessed in a whisper and you widened your eyes and dropped your jaw.

"Oh, awkward." You commented but then you giggled, maybe feeling relieved and also as a way to make fun of you for thinking things that weren't. "But... I remember... Amber mentioned something that you wouldn't get me... and you... you told me very nice things and I thought that... that you..."

"That I was flirting with you?" He asked and you nodded, then he chuckled. "Beautiful, I was complimenting you, not flirting with you. And yes, Amber indeed mentioned that I wouldn't get you because we had a deal... But she didn't mean it in a sexual way... Truth is I'm interested in you, but for others reasons." He explained.

"Oh... What reasons?" You asked curiously.

"Well, you're really gorgeous and very charismatic and you have this particular face that makes you be unique, I don't know if it's your smile, your eyes or even your freckles; but it makes you be beautiful and not simply hot or sexy as models nowadays. It's like you have a mesmerizing face. And I'm studying Screen Arts and Cultures and I have this course called French New Wave in which we have to find a model and actress to reproduce the global impact of the French New Wave and make a film from different aesthetic, industrial, and national contexts, insisting on a naturalistic style. And I know you're in the Interarts Performance program and you really look like a French with your hair and the way you dress. I don't know why, but you remind me of the actress from A Bout De Souffle... It's like you're perfect, that's why I wanted to get you before someone else does. I think I should have explained you this since the beginning." Greg said and you were speechless, none of what he said was something you were expecting to hear.

"Oh, I... I'm surprised." You voiced, looking at him deeply into his eyes; he just snickered. "So... All this time you wanted to get close to me so you could convince me to act for your movie. Sneaky..." You commented and he shook his head and mumbled, apparently uncomfortable.

"No, it's not so like that. Sure I want you for my movie... But I really want to know you more because you seem to be a pretty nice girl and..." He started saying nervously and you chuckled.

"Hey, Greg, I was just joking." You said with an amused smirk and he let out a giggle while nodding. "It's pretty interesting what you are proposing... Wait, I don't want to make it awkward again... You are proposing me to act in your film, right? Did I get it right?" You asked and he grinned widely.

"Yes, I'm proposing you to be my actress for my film. And I really hope you can consider my offer." He answered and you smirked.

"Well, finally something I got right!" You made fun of yourself, laughing. "Well, it's really interesting and I always dreamed of appearing in a film. And I'm very flattered to know you want me out of all people who are related to theater. Yet, for your own good, you should first audition me or something. Maybe you don't like the way I act and I wouldn't like to disappoint you." You said and Greg shook his head.

"I already saw you performing, I sneaked into your drama class and I talked to your professor, who said you're the best in the class. Sorry for that, but I needed to know if you'd be able to improvise." Greg apologized and you looked at him amazed. "So, I'll give you time to think about it."

"Oh, no, no! I don't need time to think! I always dreamed of acting in a film and I really like this topic of French New Wave film style!" You exclaimed very excited.

"Really?" He asked surprised, his eyes full of hopes.

"Yes, really! When do we start, eh?" You asked with a very amused smile.

"Oh, I'm so happy right now that I want to hug you." He exclaimed and you giggled. "Umm... Well, I wasn't expecting you to answer right away, so... I need time to prepare everything... But maybe we could start after New Year." He said and you nodded.

"You'll need my number, I think." You said and he nodded. He gave you his phone and you wrote your number. "Here you go!" You exclaimed.

"Thank you very much, beautiful!" He exclaimed with the brightest smile. "So, I'd be texting you. Maybe we can meet each other before filming, so we can talk about it and I can get to know you more, so you'd feel more comfortable."

"Sure, I'd like that." You responded, now not feeling uncomfortable at all.

"Thanks, really." He said grateful again and you nodded. "And... also thanks for not saying rude things when I told you I'm not so into girls." He whispered, perhaps feeling ashamed of his sexual orientation.

"Why would I say rude things? It's totally normal for me if you like boys more instead girls." You answered with a kind smile and he looked at you really thankful.

"Thank you. Most people are not so open about it and most of them think I have some kind of illness." He commented in a whisper, looking down.

"Screw them, Greg." You said and he giggled.

"Hi..." You suddenly heard Darren's voice. Greg looked next to you and he grinned politely.

"Hi." He said, stretching his hand, so that they shook their hands. "I'm Greg, I don't know if you remember me."

"Yes, I do. You're a frat start, how wouldn't I recognize you? I'm Darren, Freckles' friend." Darren said politely and Greg frowned in confusion. "Oh, this girl here is Freckles for me. Long story." He said laughing and Greg grinned and nodded.

"Nice nickname." Greg commented. "Well, I gotta go now. I hope you guys have a good day. And beautiful, thanks again." He said and you walked to him to embrace him. He got surprised at first, but then he hugged you back.

"You're very welcome. See you later, Greg. Have a lovely day and Happy Thanksgiving!" You exclaimed, giving him a buss on the cheek.

He smiled widely, stretched his hand with Darren, and then he left. You observed how he walked away with a gentle smile on your face, thinking how weird this conversation was. Then you thought... You always wanted to have a gay friend, maybe now this would be possible. And you were very excited... You were going to appear in a film! You looked at Darren and noticed he was looking at you suspiciously.

"Let's go?" You asked and he nodded, so that you started walking to your residence in silence. When you entered and you were walking through the corridor, Darren looked at you again.

"What did he want?" He asked. You knew he wouldn't stand the mystery.

"He wanted me to act for his film." You answered with a proud smile.

"What?" He asked stunned.

"What you heard. I'm gonna appear in a film!" You exclaimed very excited, with a goofy grin.

You explained him everything while you were walking and also when you were packing some stuff on a bag and Darren was sitting on your bed, listening to you very intently. He asked few questions and at first he didn't believe that Greg wasn't interested in you for something else, like having sex or something; so you explained he was gay… Well, actually bisexual, but more into boys. When you finished unpacking, you also finished explaining him what happened.

"Well, in that case, congratulations, Freckles! This might be one of the best things that could happen to you. I'm sure you're gonna do it great!" He exclaimed happily.

However, you noticed a hint of sadness on his face. You knew something was wrong with him, and then you remembered he was talking to February. You sat on bed next to him and you placed your hand on his shoulder, looking deeply into his eyes.

"What's wrong, Dare?" You asked and he looked down.

---

I was really moody after February called me. I didn't know what the hell was happening to her, she wasn't like this when she was here. She was a cool, kind and funny girl; now it seemed she turned into a really jealous, possessive and controlling person. Yes, I tried to understand she was insecure; but this was too much. She was trying to establish schedules of when I had to call her and that implied one hour per call, six times a day: When I wake up, after breakfast, for lunch, in afternoon, before having dinner and before going to sleep. That was nuts! She was all the time thinking I was cheating on her or that I could cheat on her; so she was basically forcing me to spend the day only with Joey and Jen; she didn't even want me to meet my other friends. And it was better not to mention Freckles... She was crazy, all the time thinking I was with her, all the time asking me if I saw her, all the time reminding me I promised not to see her again. And well, I was with Freckles, but she didn't know. I was still thinking it was insane what she thought about Freckles and the thing she practically forced me to promise... that was the worst. After I sang to Freckles the song I wrote for her... I felt somehow connected to her again. Yes, that maybe made me feel confused; but then she and I talked and I understood that the best for us was to be lifelong friends as she said. I really wanted to keep Freckles in my life because she was the one person who could always make me smile and feel better when I was down; she was the one person who could understand what was happening to me without saying a damn word; besides she was a wonderful person, very smart, funny and nice. I wanted her in my life more than anybody else; just as a friend. And February had to understand it. But when she called me and I tried to start explaining this to her, she started cursing at me and then she started crying, saying that I didn't really care about her, that I couldn't understand her, and that I couldn't do for her the only thing she was asking me to do. She made me feel as if I were a selfish guy and a totally horrendous person. So, again, I had to promise I would stop seeing Freckles. And I honestly couldn't picture not seeing her smile and hearing her voice again. And... What if this could hurt Freckles' feelings? I wouldn't forgive myself for this. But Freckles... Freckles was more understanding than February. She would understand me, hopefully; but that didn't mean I wasn't feeling sad for having to stop seeing her, even if it was just a matter of time until February could fully trust on me.

"What's wrong, Dare?" Freckles asked with her usual sweet voice.

Again, she could sense something was going wrong with me, even if I didn't say anything. I looked down and I hesitated about telling her or not. On one hand, she had to know; but on the other hand, I didn't want to screw this last week I had with her.

"Just a bad conversation with February, but it doesn't matter." I answered. Definitely, I'd talk to Freckles before February returned, but not until the last moment.

"Is she still thinking you're cheating on her?" She asked gently.

She began to massage softly and slowly the nape of my neck with the tip of her fingers. I closed my eyes and I smiled in pleasure. Mmm, she always knew that was one of the things I enjoyed the most, something that could make me feel extremely relaxed and peaceful; she knew that was like my weak spot and I sincerely loved whenever she did that.

"Yeah, she still thinks so." I answered in a whisper. "Please, keep doing that. It feels nice." I requested and Freckles chuckled softly.

"Okay, lie on your stomach; it'll feel better and it'll be more comfortable for me." She said and I did exactly what she said. She sat next to me and began to do it again, now with both hands. I felt I was in heaven. "Now, picture I'm your psychologist and the session costs $180 per hour. So, tell me about your problems Mr. Criss." She tried to joke and I giggled softly. I was gonna miss her silly jokes.

"$180 per hour? Jeez! You want to steal me! I think I don't want a psychologist." I exclaimed as if I was alarmed.

"You think you don't want? But what is what you really don't want, putting aside what you think?" She asked with a weird voice, pretending to be a psychologist; but the question left me thinking. "Close your eyes and without even thinking tell me... What is what you really want?"

"I want you." I answered right away after closing my eyes. I frowned and I got surprised of my own answer.

"See, now this is working. You want a psychologist. Thus, being this your first time, the session will be completely free." Freckles responded with the same voice. Fortunately, she took it in a joking way. "Tell me what's happening to you, Mr. Criss." Freckles asked now sweetly, still massaging the nape of my neck.

"February is forcing me to do things I don't wanna do, only because she's insecure. And the things she's forcing me to do... They hurt me. But I can't tell her that I don't wanna do it, because then she'll start crying and it'd make me feel as a hideous person for not being able to give her the only thing she's asking me to do." I answered, with my eyes still closed as Freckles was running the tip of her fingers through my hair.

"Sometimes we have to do things for others in order to show them we care about them, just as long as what you do for others makes you feel happy too and just as long as you don't replace your dreams for other people's dreams. Think if what she's asking you to do is worth it and if it can really help your relationship; or if, on the contrary, it makes you feel really sad, even if you still have her that way." Freckles commented gently and the sound of her mellow voice and the smoothness of her touch was making me feel so relaxed that I could fall asleep.

"What if maybe it is worth it for our relationship because that way she will no longer feel insecure and we may be happy... But what I have to do will make me feel really bad because it involves losing something I really appreciate?" I asked and my voice sounded a bit dumb because of the pillow.

"Then you must do what your heart tells you to do instead of what your mind tells you to do. Let your heart rule your head." She replied in a tender way.

"What if heart's a mess?" I asked again.

"When you are in doubt about what you should do, when you have two possibilities and you are not sure which option will make both you and others happier, when you're still thinking what option choose; your heart already knows the answer, even if you feel it's a mess. Deep down, you know what you really want to do because it is what will make you truly happy. Heart is always faithful to us; even if we break it too often, even if others break it too often... It will always remain faithful. It might sound cheesy, but I think if we live according to what our heart tell us to do, we all will be immensely happier because when we grow old we can gradually lose our memory, but we will never lose our heart." She answered lovingly, massaging in circles my shoulders. "It takes time to do it and it's really hard; it really takes courage to open up yourself. If you're not sure what you should do, just go to a quiet and beautiful place, sit against a tree alone, look at the panorama around you and just let yourself go. Don't be afraid of your feelings, accept them with your head held high and tell yourself that whatever you decide to do will be the best you can do. Don't stress out too much, let things flow naturally and you'll see that the option you choose will work out, one way or another. When you really get to believe it all; you'll be able to make your decision and, no matter what others tell you, don't regret and don't go back, because in that decision are implied all of your feelings, your heart and your soul; so that's the right decision." She said in a very warm way that made me feel mild.

I forgot how soulful and deep her words were. I placed my head on her lap and then I rested my chin on her thigh to look into her eyes as I took her hands in mine. She was smiling at me so fondly that I began to feel really bad. No, I couldn't stop seeing her as February asked me to do.

"I have to do what February asks me to do, because I know she will stay if I do it, and I don't wanna lose her... But I don't wanna lose you either." I voiced sadly and she frowned slightly, confused.

"Why would you lose me, Dare?" She asked softly while stroking my curls. I dropped my head and I buried it on her stomach, enfolding my arms around her hip.

"The reason why February feels insecure is because she knows what you meant to me; so she thinks I could leave her to be with you." I answered in all honesty and Freckles remained profoundly silent; yet still caressing my hair.

"She wants me to be away from you, doesn't she?" She asked in a whisper and I felt how my throat was tightening.

"Yes. She wants me to stop seeing you." I answered with choked voice, clutching her hip.

"Do what you really wanna do, Dare. If getting away from me will make you and her happy and will help your relationship, if you think it's the only way that your relationship will work out; then I'll understand and respect your decision just as long as you feel that's what you want to do." She responded and I felt even worse. I knew she would understand; I knew it. Why couldn't February be like her?

"I don't know what I wanna do; but I know I don't wanna lose you." I said sadly.

"Do you really and honestly love February?" She asked and I bit my lips.

"Yes, I do." I answered.

"Before February requested you to stop seeing me... Your relationship with her made you truly happy and emotional fulfilled?" She asked again.

"Yes." I responded honestly.

"Then it'll be worth it to walk away from me so that you and her can be happy together and build a relationship that might last a lifetime. You fell in love again; don't push that love away because of me, Dare." She said yearningly as her fingers brushed my cheek.

I knew this was hard for her to say, but she said it anyway because of me, only to see me happy; and that... that exactly was what made me break into tears. She thought about my happiness and not only about her own happiness, unlike February. Why did I fall in love with February? Why was it too hard to let Freckles go? Why couldn't there be a girl like Freckles? Why couldn't I fall in love with Freckles again and get back together to be as happy as we used to be? Life was much simpler and happier with Freckles.

"But I need you." I sobbed on her stomach and she rubbed my back reassuringly.

"More than you need February?" She asked.

"Yes." I answered right away.

"You really love her, Darren?" She asked confused.

"Yes, I do. But you're very important to me, more than she is. You were with me through thick and thin; you taught me so many things; you made me be a better man and you made me believe in love. In my life there's a before and an after I met you; there's not such a thing with February." I explained and Freckles remained silent, running the tips of her fingers through the nape of my neck again. "I want to choose to stay with you, Freckles; I know that will make me happy. But if I do it, February will break up with me; and it's been really hard to find a girl who was worth it to keep after you and I grew apart. She's the first girl who made me feel loved after you and she's the first girl I fell in love with after you." I confessed in between tears, still burying my face on her stomach. "February said that this thing of not seeing you will be just a matter of time, until she gets to trust me or until she sees you're dating someone; but I don't wanna distance myself from you again!" I exclaimed frustrated and distressed.

"She said it will be only a matter of time?" She asked and I just nodded. "Then she's doing this only because she is insecure and she's trying to trust you, but it's being hard for her while I'm still around because she knows what I mean to you. Right?" She asked and I nodded again. "And she is the only girl you could fall in love with after me. Right?" She asked and I nodded as a response. "Then you must be with her. You must stop seeing me until she gets to trust you. After that, everything will return to normal. You'll be happy with her as a girlfriend and you'll be happy with me as a friend. I'll do it for you two; I'm willing to stop seeing you for you to be happy; then we all can be friends and that would be wonderful, Dare." Freckles said in a very understanding way, but I remained silent.

"I don't know how long it'll take for her to trust me, Freckles. And I don't think I will be capable of being away from you so long." I stated, almost in a whisper.

"I have an idea..." Freckles suddenly said with her usual encouraging voice. She placed her thumb on my chin and made me look at her. She wiped my tears away and I saw a clear sweet smile on her face. "We can spend this week together. I'll stay at you apartment, so we'll be together all the time. It'll be our way to enjoy our last days together; then, when February returns, we'll be ready to walk away. She will notice that you and I are just friends and that's all we want to be; so she will let you see me again. That way, we all will be fine and nobody will end up hurt. We just have to keep in mind that we will see each other again; you gotta believe it, because I'm sure it'll be like that." She cheered with a bright and joyful grin that I couldn't help smiling back.

"You're so wonderful, Freckles." I voiced, placing my hands on the bed to lift my body and give her a buss on the cheek.

"And so are you, Dare." She answered with a kind grin, twiddling one of my curls.

"Freckles... Do you think we can stay here a little more?" I asked.

"Sure." She answered. I grinned and I lay down in bed again, resting my head on Freckles' pillow, staring the ceiling.

"Lie next to me, Freckles." I requested softly.

She just nodded and did what I asked. When she rested her head next to me to stare the ceiling, I took one of her hands and I intertwined my fingers with hers, placing both of our hands on my chest. We both remained profoundly silent, just staring the ceiling and hearing our breathing. As almost all the silences shared with her, it didn't feel awkward. I didn't need anything else, just feeling her next to me was enough to feel good; that was weird, but it's been always like that with her. Freckles was the first to speak.

"Do you ever wonder if we make the moments in our lives or if the moments in our lives make us?" She asked and I frowned.

"I honestly never wondered that." I answered quietly, still staring the ceiling.

"If you could go back and change one thing about your life, would you? And if you did, would that change make your life better? Or would that change ultimately break your heart, or break the heart of another? Or would you choose an entirely different path? Or would you change just one thing, just one moment? One moment that you've always wanted back." She asked very thoughtful and I realized she was in that 'philosophical' mood. I remained silent for a long time, trying to think about all the questions she asked. I didn't know if she wanted me to answer or not.

"I've learned not to regret the things I've done in my life because everything happens for a reason and because all of those things made us be what we are now. Thus, I don't know if I would change something of my life or if I would choose an entirely different path." I answered, also thoughtful. "Nevertheless, I would change just one moment... That moment I walked out the hotel room that night we separated. There's only one moment I always wanted back, and that moment is when we were together." I responded in all honesty. "I think that most of our life is a series of images; they pass us by like towns on a highway. But sometimes a moment stuns us as it happens and we know that this instant is more than a fleeting image... We know that this moment, every part of it, will live on forever. And the perfect example of this is the relationship we had. Even if it no longer exists, it'll live on forever." I said with a soft smile on my face. When I turned my face, I found Freckles looking at me with a warm grin. "Now, my turn to ask." I said with an amused smirk and she nodded energetically. "How would you like to live your life?"

"The answer is dreams. Dreaming on and on. Entering the world of dreams and never coming out. Living in dreams for the rest of time." She answered with a pleasant smile that made me smile back. She was weird and I liked that about her.

"And have you ever thought how it would be like if you could create your own world?" I asked, looking deeply into her eyes as she returned her sight to the ceiling.

"Of course I have. I imagined having my own world and living there." She responded with a wide smirk.

"And how would your world be like?" I asked intrigued.

"If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would." She answered really fast and I frowned, trying to understand all the things she answered. What the heck? That was a super weird answer. Nobody in their right mind would answer that. And I loved it.

"Whoa! And I thought I was the weird one. Can I live in your nonsense world?" I asked amused, laughing. She giggled softly and nodded. "Now, talking in all seriousness, how can you have such an extraordinary imagination?" I asked curiously.

"Because I strongly believe that the person who has no imagination has no wings. And I need those wings, because I love flying. The imagination sometimes leads us to worlds that never were, but without it we go nowhere." She answered shrugging and grinning. Although she was still staring the ceiling, I looked at her and I smiled kindly. I truly loved having these conversations with her. "My turn to ask... Why do you love music so much?" She asked, finally looking at me and I smirked, turning my gaze to the ceiling. I really liked that question.

"Because music is the art which is most nigh to tears and memory. In music all the feelings return to its pure state and the world is only music made reality. Music is what feelings sound like. Because music expresses what cannot be said and what is impossible to keep silent." I answered and I noticed she was smiling satisfied. Then I looked at her and I smirked mischievously. "And music is what you give me." I joked, winking at her, so she laughed out loud, nudging me playfully.

"I feel so flattered, sir!" She commented with an amused smirk.

"My turn to ask." I said and she looked at me very intrigued to know the question. "Where do tears come from? I don't know. Materially talking, I would ask: Are they mere drops of water we have in the body?" I asked and she frowned and looked at the ceiling, very thoughtful. She took time to answer this time.

"No, I think they come from the soul, the pain you feel in your soul and your heart when your love gets tired of waiting, when your soul cries inside and makes an immense sea exiting for its reflection, by the eyes, which are the mirror of the soul." She started answering as I was listening intently to her answer; again, trying to get everything she wanted to say. "It's the reaction you have when you want to yell: Help me to endure so much pain, so many lies, so much disappointment, and so many broken dreams, trampled illusions, frustrated loves, forgotten caresses, blank stares, hugs with knives that hurt." She added and when I looked at her, I noticed she had a sad half-smile on her face. "And when each 'I love you' enters like a sword through your heart. And bleeding inside and out, you have a smile materializing the false joy. Because there are only few things that can make you smile with an empty soul. As I see it, that's why tears come from the soul." She finished explaining, now looking at me and I gave her a sad half-smile. Maybe she was right. "My turn... Have you ever thought that are small gestures and not words the ones that hurt us the most?" She asked and I thought before answering.

"Uh... I'm not sure about it." I responded, still frowning.

"Think about this: when someone tells us something rude or something we don't want to hear, their words hurt us and make us feel sad but mostly angry if not frustrated. But, if someone doesn't say anything at all but instead they give us a certain look or a certain bitter smile or a short bitter laugh; then we feel sad but it's a different kind of sadness; it's a sadness that permeates within." She began to explain and I bit my lips, still frowning, and still not knowing what her point was. "When someone says rude things to us, we can argue about it, we can defend ourselves and have a conversation. But when someone give us a small gesture without uttering a single word, we cannot do anything, we cannot say anything, we cannot have a conversation; because surely the person would tell us that we're wrong, that what we think their gesture meant is not what they meant to express." She kept explaining and kept frowning, but this time I was starting to understand what she meant with her question. "When someone tell us rude words, the rude words just come out from their mouths and often they don't mean to say that, because it's something you say without thinking. But when someone gives us those certain small gestures without saying anything at all, the gestures come out from within them, from their souls. And those certain gestures hurt a lot more because from that moment they look at you in a certain way and they give you that certain bitter smile; it turns impossible to forget them and from that moment on, you'll be always on alert just in case you get to see that gesture again, wondering over and over again what the real meaning of that gesture is. And it consumes you, it's crazy, it's almost paranoid." She voiced kind of frustrated, frowning and pursing her lips. I was thinking about it, and maybe she was right at some point. "Eventually you get to forget the rude words; but those gestures will remain always in your memory and will become a wound in your heart that will never heal. Just because gestures come from the soul, therefore they affect your soul; and when the wound comes within the soul and not within memory, you barely get to heal it completely. Somehow, it'll define you forever. Isn't it a bit unfair?" She asked frowning and then turned her gaze to me. I opened my mouth to answer something, but nothing came out. I thought for a while about the answer.

"Well, I think the way you explained it is a bit drastic, no offense. Nonetheless, I do think you're right. Sometimes, words are nothing compared to all of those small gestures. And that is valid both for nice and rude words and gestures. Just as those small and bitter gestures leaves us a deep wound in our heart; the nice and lovely gestures leaves us a joy in our heart that will live on forever within us." I responded, looking deeply into her big and beautiful eyes, squeezing softly her hand.

"I like the positive side of it." She stated with a cute grin. "Another question... What do you want to be in your future?" She asked.

It was impressive the way she could change the topics of conversation so easily, so it was never boring to talk to her. I adored her randomness and I really enjoyed her questions. I looked at the ceiling and I sighed before answering. That was a hard one.

"I'd like to become a famous actor and musician. I want to be known worldwide and I would want people to enjoy my songs and my performance. I want to inspire people with the things I do; I'd want to show them that it is possible to become what you want to be. I don't know, I dream of performing a musical on Broadway, appearing on TV or films, having my own EP or LP album, performing my own shows and getting my own tours around all America, and even in other countries. I dream of being interviewed or attending awards ceremonies, like all of those talented artists. I dream of having fans who appreciate my music and performances; it may sound silly, but I'd really like to talk to my fans, to sign autographs and take pictures with them. I don't know, I think that would make me happy." I answered while shrugging.

"That sounds like a pretty great future and I'm sure that due your extraordinary talent you'll get all of that." Freckles said with a very sweet smile and I just sighed and shook my head. I wasn't sure of it.

"Those are just dreams, Freckles." I pointed out.

"I know, and you can make those dreams come true." She encouraged and I looked at her. "I know you can do it."

"What if I fail?" I asked while frowning, not getting why she believed in me so much.

"Hey, you have to understand that there are defeats and no one is safe from them. So it is better to lose some battles in the fight for your dreams than to be defeated without even knowing why you are fighting for. And do you know what's amazing? That there's magic when you're still struggling beyond your strength; the magic of giving it all for a dream that nobody else sees, besides you." She answered with the brightest grin, squeezing my hand.

"Yeah, but sometimes I think that my dreams can't be real." I sighed and stared the ceiling again.

"Oh well, people think that dreams aren't real just because they aren't made out of matter, out of particles. Dreams are real. But they are made of viewpoints, of images, of memories, and puns and lost hopes. All you have to do is to whisper a wish to a butterfly and it will fly up to heaven and make it come true. Always aim for the moon, even if you fail, you'll land among the stars." She said sweetly and the kissed my cheek. I smiled at her.

"That's beautiful, Freckles; it really is. But... It's really hard to make my dreams come true." I said, still a bit negative about it.

"In life we have two options: Having a dream and strive to fulfill it, even if it means to demand our body and soul huge efforts, knowing that when we reach our goals will be worth it and all the time spent will have been our best investment." She said looking fixedly at me, raising eyebrows. "Or... stay lying in bed, lamenting every day of our misfortune and our bad luck, because the universe isn't aligned to give us magically everything with what we dream." She voiced and pursed her lips, still looking deeply at me. I looked down and bit my lower lip. "When we want something with all our heart and we are willing to work hard to get it, the universe conspires in our favor and life becomes, day after day, the most enriching and happy experience that we have." She said now with an amiable grin, squeezing my hand to make me look at her. "Nobody has bought life; no one has the perfect and happiest life. The secret of happiness is in knowing overcome sorrows, losses, and wounds of the heart; learning not to hold grudges against people who have hurt us, thinking that everything that is part of our past is now part of us, because they did what we are now. Being happy is not a windfall. Being happy is a choice. It's a way of life to which all have access. Dreaming doesn't cost anything, achieve our dreams is hard, but it's worth it." She said encouragingly, looking at me with those sweet eyes. I moved closer and I rested my forehead on hers, taking her hands in mine, smiling fondly at her.

"Have I ever told you that you're the most uplifting person I know? How come you always know what to say? You have no idea how much you've helped me in my life to do all I was scared to do but I wanted to do." I said frankly and Freckles grinned shyly.

"I'm glad to know I'm that kind of person to you." She answered.

"What about you? Do you wanna be known?" I asked curiously.

"Nah, I don't mind not being known. What I try to do is make myself worthy of being known." She answered while shrugging and I frowned, thinking it was an interesting point of view. "I only wanna do what I love to do. For me, it's very important that you only do what you love to do. I may be poor, I may go hungry, I may lose my car, I may have to move into a shabby place to live, but I will totally live. And at the end of my days I'll bless my life because I've done what I came here to do." She added with a bright smile. That was such a humble answer, yet very nice. "Otherwise, I'll live my life as a prostitute, I'll do things only for a reason, to please other people, and I will never have lived. And I will not have a pleasant death." She said pursing her lips and making a grimace of sadness and disgust.

"I can't believe how humble and unambitious you are. You're so lovely, Freckles." I said almost admiringly. Seriously, how could February not like her? I was about to say something else, but my phone started buzzing. It was Jen. "Hi, Jenny!"

"Darren, where the hell are you? And you have any idea where Freckles is?" She asked.

"Well, hello to you too!" I said jokingly but she did not laugh. "Freckles is here with me. We're at her dorm room. We came here to pack some stuff so she can stay at our apartment the entire week, because certain someone forced her to do so. Is that explanation enough, mommy?" I asked, mocking her.

"Hmm, maybe." Jen answered curtly but I sensed a hint of amusement in her voice. "And I don't know what you meant when you mentioned certain someone. I have nothing to do!" She giggled and I shook my head. "It's noon already and Joey and I are starving… Would you come here to have lunch together or would you and Freckles have a lovely lunch together, alone in her dorm room?" She asked and I chuckled. After all this time and after meeting February she was so insisting with Freckles.

"We'll go there, so you better order something good to eat." I answered.

"Don't you wanna stay with Freckles alone?" She asked.

"Jen, she's right next to me." I pointed out and Freckles giggled. I knew Freckles could hear the conversation.

"Oh, hi, Freckles!" Jen exclaimed joyfully.

"Hi, Jenny!" Freckles answered with a giggle.

"So, guys… are you sure you don't want to…" Jen started insisting again.

"Jen, shut up and order something tasty to eat." I interrupted her.

"Okay, okay… We won't order food, though. Joey and I are in mood to cook something!" She exclaimed excited and I made a horrified face.

"Jennifer! I don't wanna die intoxicated!" I exclaimed in a jesting way.

"Shut up, Criss. You're the less indicated to say such a thing." Jen answered back and I looked at Freckles, as trying to get her support.

"I'm sorry, Darren, but Jen is right." Freckles said and I looked at her in disbelief.

"Boo-ya, Freckles! I knew you'd think the same as me!" Jen laughed out loud. "Well, get your ass here! We're starving!"

"Fine, fine! We'll be there in a few minutes." I said and then I hung up.

Right after that, I put my phone on the pocket of my jeans and I looked at Freckles and smiled softly. I dared to move closer to her, lie on my side, and cuddle up with her, wrapping my arms around her waist and resting my head on her shoulder, grazing my nose across her neck, so she giggled because of the tickle.

"I adore you, Freckles." I whispered with a fond smile as she was stroking my hair.

"I adore you too, Dare." She replied and kissed my temple. "But now Joey and Jen are waiting for us and they will go nuts if we don't arrive soon." She chuckled and I nodded in agreement. I moved my face and I kissed her cheek.

"Yeah, let's go." I said and then I stood up.

We took all the things we needed and then we left the residence. Once outside, I took one of her hands, intertwined my fingers with hers and we walked to the bus stop holding hands, just as those good old times. I couldn't stop grinning widely like a goofball. She really made me start a fucking amazing day. I thought this would be the best week in this year. Freckles and Jen would stay at my apartment with me and my best friend Joey for an entire week. Seriously, what could be better than that?

---

It was Monday November 27 and you've spent four entire days at Darren's apartment, a very pleasant experience. It was really fun to live with them at least for a week; you had really good times, you laughed a lot, you talked a lot, you did random and diverse things and you forgot about the bad things that happened to you lately. One of the greatest things was that in these days you haven't felt sick, you haven't felt nauseous, you haven't thrown up, you haven't had a fever, you haven't coughed blood; nothing at all, you were feeling great. You were really enjoying these days, considering that after this week, Jen would return to NY and February would return to Ann Arbor so you wouldn't be able to see Darren again; it was like you'd be alone. At least, you could still have Joey and Meredith, and well, other friends like Noah, Joe W. and maybe Greg too. So you definitely had to exploit these days to the fullest. Thus, this time, unlike four days ago, you forced everyone to wake up early in the morning because you couldn't believe they could sleep till 11 am, wasting all the morning when you could perfectly be doing interesting activities. The three of them complained a lot when you woke them; but at 8 am, everybody was in the kitchen, with sleepy faces and still in pajamas, having the breakfast you enthusiastically prepared to start a splendid day. They all got excited when you brought to the table the chip cookies you made yourself. Yes, you woke up at 6 am to prepare everything, but it was worth it; the cookies didn't look so good because you left them on the oven a little bit more than you should, but you were proud of yourself because this was the first time you made them. All of them pounced to grab cookies and fought over who grabbed the biggest one first as you were thinking they were like little kids.

"Freckles! Told them I saw it first!" Darren complained.

"But I grabbed it first!" Joey said, smelling that big cookie.

"But you snatched me the cookie!" Jen protested.

"I think I deserve that cookie because I woke up at 6 am to bake them for you." You commented amused while bringing the four hot chocolate mugs on a tray.

"Yes, Joey! Give that cookie to the chef!" Jen said.

"But... But... But... It's the biggest!" Joey pouted like a little child, clutching the biscuit.

"Richter, I'm gonna make you choke with the hot chocolate and I'm gonna fill your nostrils with the cookies crumbs if you don't give Freckles that cookie!" Darren exclaimed menacingly, pointing at Joey with his spoon and you all looked at him with eyes wide open, raising eyebrows, and with a stunned facial expression.

"Isn't it a little bit... savage?" You asked, looking fixedly at Darren, squinting.

"Yes! Defend me, Freckles!" Joey exclaimed desperately.

"No! Give me the cookie, Joey, or I'm gonna help Darren and I'll even fill your ears with syrup!" You exclaimed and Joey dropped his jaw to pretend to be bewildered, yet he was amused.

"You all are wild cavemen! Jen?" He asked as seeking her support.

"I'll blow sugar in your eyes." She said and Joey grouched in disbelief.

"Fine. You bastards!" Joey exclaimed pretending to be annoyed, then he looked at you pouting. "Can I at least bite it?"

"You have a lot of cookies there!" You answered.

"But... but... but... this is the biggest! There's not any other like this one!" Joey exclaimed.

"She baked them, you motherfucker!" Darren exclaimed, still pointing at Joey with his spoon.

"Fine, only for you, Freckles... But come closer, because I don't want these jerks to snatch it!" Joey said, looking at Jen and Darren in a withering way. You walked to Joey and he handed you the cookie, so you took it, grinned and kissed his cheek.

"Good boy." You voiced, patting his head as if he was a pet; so Darren and Jen laughed, even Joey laughed. Then you returned to you chair, next to Jen and in front of Joey. Then you all started having breakfast together.

"Now, I think we all will be delighted to hear your explanation of why the heck you've got the guts to wake us this early." Darren said with his mouth full of food as they all looked expectant to hear your explanation.

"I think you are lazy people and that gotta change, starting now." You responded with a mischievous smirk.

"Lazy people?" Darren asked loudly, spitting some cookie crumbs in Jen's face. She frowned and wiped her face.

"Darren!" She protested.

"Sorry, Jen, but she called us lazy people!" Darren exclaimed, again spitting cookie crumbs in her face.

"Stop it, Darren! Swallow what you're eating and then talk or I'm gonna spit hot chocolate in your face!" Jen threatened, holding firmly her mug.

"Seriously? I woke up so early to make this delicious breakfast and you only want to play food fight with it? Remind me that I do not have to make breakfast for you again!" You exclaimed, pretending to be offended.

"Yes, poor Freckles! Freckles, don't worry, I'll eat everything that those idiots don't appreciate." Joey commented and you giggled and nodded.

"Whatever! Freckles... Lazy people, really?" Darren asked, looking fixedly at you, frowning.

"Yes! Lazy people!" You confirmed. "How on earth can you sleep till 11 am? That's... Insane! You waste all the morning! We gotta go out! We gotta have fun! We gotta do something!" You exclaimed very loudly and joyfully.

"She has a point." Jen agreed.

"How do you expect us to wake up early if we go to bed at 4 am?" Darren asked frowning.

"Oh, come on! Where's all your energy and spirit? You're not forty, Criss! And do not complain, because you woke up at 8 am, not 6 am!" You pointed out.

"That's because you're some kind of crazy Martian who came to Earth to plot some dark plans against normal human beings like us, who try to sleep the enough to be peppy all day long; unlike you, Martian, who apparently don't need to sleep anything at all because you..." Darren began to speak nonsense.

"Shut up, Criss." You interrupted him with a chuckle.

"Yeah, shut up." Jen added.

"Hey, man! I was so into the story! I want to hear what happened to the Martian and the human beings!" Joey exclaimed and everybody laughed.

"Well, well, well... Freckles..." Darren said and fixed his gaze on you. You knew that kind of look and the smirk on his face helped to create that mischievous facial expression. "You said and I quote: We gotta go out! We gotta have fun! We gotta do something!" He exclaimed and then bit his lips with that sassy smirk. Damn. What was on his mind now? "I will give you what you want."

"Hee-hee!" Jen voiced with a mischievous laugh.

You looked at them in suspicion. They were hiding something. When you looked at Joey and saw the same mischievous expression on his face, you already knew they planned something that was surely not pleasant for you.

"I'm kinda... scared." You stated very slowly.

"Oh, you should." Darren winked with that smirk. "You know, it's not cool to wake us so early... It has its consequences."

"But... I just wanted... Hey..." You mumbled. "I just wanted to have fun for more hours!"

"Oh, and we will!" Joey exclaimed with a chuckle.

"It'll be the best day ever!" Jen exclaimed with a very huge grin.

"Alright... We have an issue here we are dancing around, anyone want to take a guess as to what it is?" You asked, very desperate to know what they've planned.

"We are going ice skating! Voilà!" Darren exclaimed with a very amused smirk and you dropped your jaw and squinted.

"You! That was your idea for sure, Criss!" You exclaimed, pointing at him with your forefinger and the idiot took the boldness to nod enthusiastically with no shame. "Oh my god. I hate you so effing much!" You exclaimed incredulous.

"I love you too, Freckles." Darren answered in a sassy way, winking.

"I'm gonna kill you! Or worse yet, I'm gonna burn all of your Harry Potter books, I'm gonna destroy your guitar and I'm gonna upload the video of you impersonating Ben Kingsley in the Love Guru movie on YouTube!" You threatened and Joey and Jen burst out laughing.

"Hey, that's so mean, Freckles!" Darren responded with a frown. "Why are you so mad? Didn't you want to have fun?"

"Uh, yeah... Have fun, not make fun of me!" You pointed out.

"Come on, Freckles. We've already talked about this. It'll be fun! Besides, all of us want to go ice skating! Do it for Jen, who really wants to do so and she'll have to leave the town soon!" Darren said.

You frowned and glanced at Jen who was looking at you with her most angelical face, as pleading you to do so. You looked down, frowning and pouting, now hesitating. The jerk knew what to say to convince you. Argh! You hated him so much in this moment.

"I'll teach you." Darren said and your pursed your lips.

"Gah, fine." You answered with a sigh.

"Huzzah! We're gonna have blast!" Darren cheered, throwing his fist up. "And just so you know we're not bad people, we're going ice skating in the afternoon and now we can do whatever you want to do."

"Okay... Let's go jogging!" You joked.

"No! Not that!" Darren complained.

"Think about something else, Freckles!" Joey added.

"I know what we can do!" Jen exclaimed and everybody looked at her. "Considering we're gonna teach you how to ice skate, you can teach us how to draw!" Jen said with a bright smile and Joey and Darren frowned as you grinned.

"Yes, it's a good idea!" You responded.

"Really? We're gonna spend the morning... drawing? I think I'll hit the sack again." Darren commented.

"Didn't you want one of my paintings to decorate your apartment? Well, this is your one chance. We can make that painting together." You replied.

"But I wanted you to paint it not us!" Darren complained.

"Darren, you're gonna do what you want this afternoon! Now let Freckles do what she wants to do!" Jen answered, looking at him frowning; scolding him like in high school, so you laughed at that.

"No, that was what you wanted! Not what she wanted! Hey, you had that idea!" Darren replied, also frowning.

"Freckles… I want you to teach me how to draw!" Joey suddenly exclaimed and everybody looked at him.

"What?" Darren asked in disbelief.

"Yeah, it's something I never tried before and I do like trying new things." Joey answered while shrugging.

"No! It is supposed that…" Darren began to complain again, looking fixedly at Joey.

"Stop it, Criss. You're the only one who doesn't want to draw and this is a democracy, so we win. You'll have to draw, so you better start liking the idea." Jen interrupted him with a triumphant smirk.

"Pshaw! I hate democracy right now." Darren exclaimed with a sigh and you sniggered softly. "Fine, we're gonna spend the morning drawing." He said and sipped his hot chocolate.

When you finished breakfast, you asked them if they had a heavyweight paper and Joey said he had some. So you were now sitting on the floor around the paper. Jen proposed to draw all of your faces and Darren and Joey agreed, so you were drawing the silhouettes with willow charcoal. You were very concentrated to try to make it right while they were paying attention to you, seeing how this thing of drawing was. Once you drew the silhouettes and the most representative characteristics of each, you gave each one a willow charcoal and told them to draw the details. You first explained them how to manipulate the willow charcoal and then you explained them some techniques to draw the details. To make this easier, you told them not to draw themselves but to pick someone else to be able to look at their face. So Jen was drawing Joey's face, Joey was drawing Jen's face, Darren was drawing your face as you were drawing his face. It was really funny how they were so concentrated and so worried to screw it up. Everybody was very silent and the only you could hear was the music you put on to make this more pleasant. Of course they stained the paper with charcoal because it was not so easy to manipulate it and this was their first time. And of course the faces didn't look so realistic because they needed practice, but you were content because they seemed to be enjoying this and it was great to be drawing in group.

"What's the shit you are drawing, Criss? That doesn't look like Freckles at all! What is that, a monster?" Joey asked while spying Darren's drawing.

Darren frowned and puffed in frustration looking at his own drawing, so you looked at it and you bit your tongue not to laugh. That was true, you looked like some sort of monster because the drawing was disproportionate. When Jen looked at it, she couldn't help snicker, yet she did it very softly. Darren bit his lips and looked up at you, still frowning, just when you were struggling to not laugh.

"It really looks bad, doesn't it?" Darren asked discouraged, pursing his lips and looking fixedly into your eyes in that super cute way.

But you were on the verge of laughing, so instead of saying something nice, you could not fight back the impulse anymore and burst out laughing. When you laughed, Joey and Jen were caught on by it and they laughed out loud because, apparently, they were also struggling not to laugh. Darren looked at everybody and then he pouted and frowned, returning his gaze to the drawing. You felt bad, so you tried to control the laughter and you moved closer to him and his drawing.

"Dare, it's not so..." You started saying but you snickered again as Darren left the willow charcoal. "It's not so bad." You giggled and Darren looked at you frowning.

"You're a monster, Freckles!" Joey exclaimed while laughing boisterously.

"Take a look of your eyes, Freckles! You have a super huge eye and a super little eye!" Jen laughed loudly and you bit strongly your tongue. "Darren! Why the hell have you done it? Freckles drew the shape of the eye! You only had to draw inside the eye!" Jen exclaimed.

"Yeah, I know... But... I messed it up and I tried to fix it, but this shit faded and it stained the drawing and... I just..." Darren answered ashamed, still frowning.

"Don't worry, we can fix it." You said now just smiling amused.

You took Darren's graphite and you explained him how to fix it. When Darren saw how you could fix the drawing, you let him try it by himself. Right after, Jen and Joey requested you some help. Then you returned to your drawing of Darren and you finished it while others were still drawing the eyes and mouth; so you started observing and advising them; not before they all complimented your drawing of Darren, something that made you feel very flattered. When you were explaining Joey how to make Jen's hair look realistic, someone knocked the door. Nobody attempted to stand up to go open it because they were really concentrated on their respective drawings.

"Freckles, can you go see who it is?" Darren asked and you nodded.

You left the willow charcoal on the floor and you rubbed your hands on your jeans to clean your hands, then you stood up. You headed to the front door and you didn't even ask who it was, you just opened the door with a wide smile. When you saw the person standing in front of you, your smile vanished and you froze.