Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy, Doctor Who, or Torchwood.
A/N: I've been a tad depressed due to school and the utter lack of conscientious writers…I was reading a Batman Begins fic the other day, and I ran across some very familiar dialogue…it was huge chunks from Buffy. I was like, okay, maybe it's just this once, nope, it was every chapter, the majority. It was not a crossover, and more importantly, there was no credit given to the proper owners…gah! It's one thing to take a line or a phrase when doing a crossover, but to plagiarize entire chunks and not give credit…wow, rant much. I'm sorry, it just burns me that people think that that's okay. I'm done, I swear. Please enjoy this chapter…we're leading up to some yummy stuff…hehehe.

Jack smiled at Gwen as she left the room, his face slid into neutral as soon as she was out of sight. They knew—all of them—without a doubt he wasn't at all what he seemed.

His pity party was slowed to a grinding halt as his hand in a jar started to pulse with blue light. The Doctor. Jack swallowed hard and pushed down every emotion, tumultuous and euphoric alike, of which there were many. He had to call her. Buffy. His near numb fingers did the rather clumsy work on the cell phone for him. Placing it to his ear, Jack prayed she would answer.

On the second ring it picked up and a whisper soft voice spoke, "Jack."

"Buffy? Where are you," his voice was half between panic and worry.

"Just outside the hub—," he cut her off.

"Good, stay there, right there!"

He hung up just as an all too familiar blue police box shuddered into existence. His shit-eating grin in place Jack flung himself into the TARDIS and slammed the doors closed in one jerky motion.

"Doctor!"

The man at the console spun to face him. It was—it wasn't the same face. It was the Doctor to be sure, but this was a different body, a new body. He had regenerated. Jack wasn't complaining.

"Jackie-boy! How's it going?"

The Doctor was beyond cheerful, his mouth curved upward, eyes shining.

Jack bit his lip though a smile was already pulling at his own mouth, "We need to make a stop. Just outside, in the square. I want you to meet someone."

The Doctor frowned in puzzlement but proceeded to tap and wrench at buttons and levers until the TARDIS roared into life.

Buffy stared blankly at her phone. Jack had hung up on her. Sure he'd done that plenty of times before, but usually he gave a reason—even when he was neck deep in weevils.

"Jerk," the slayer muttered darkly.

Buffy tapped her foot and shivered gently as the wind picked up speed. One more reason she didn't really enjoy the British Isles as much as say…Hawaii, Pompeii. Which reminded her of that stupid joke Jack told every time they visited, 'Pompeii is nice, but you got to remember to set your alarm for Volcano Day'. Buffy shivered again and shifted in her leather jacket, Jack was a dead man.

Her head snapped up at the legendary—at least to her—whooshing. This was Jack's phantom Doctor. It had to be. After several tense seconds it stabilized. A brilliant, shiny new, blue police box. Buffy approached carefully and nudged the door with her foot. It seemed safe enough. An arm darted out and Buffy was unceremoniously yanked inside. She stumbled across the grating floor before righting herself.

Eyes snapping into slits as they landed on Jack, Buffy exhaled a shallow breath. Squaring her shoulders Buffy pulled her arm up to connect her fist with his stubble clear cheek. Jack only had a second to be surprised before the floor rose to meet him and a suffocating blackness swallowed him.

Buffy scowled down at her companion, who was luckily unconscious before giving him a sharp kick to shin. Buffy released a satisfied breath and smiled smugly to herself.

Behind her, someone hissed and then chuckled lightly. Buffy assumed this had to be the Doctor.

She spun to face the Doctor, the veil of golden hair shielding her face from view. When it settled the Doctor's breath caught in his throat.

"I know you, I've seen you before," his announcement was softer than a sigh.

"What did you just say," her voice bit into his flesh like a machete.

"Wha—oh," the Doctor smiled brightly attempting to distract the golden woman, "I said it was nice to meet you. I'm the—"

"Doctor," she cut him off.

The Doctor deflated, it showed physically, a little air went out of his ego, "You've heard of me?"

She shrugged, "Jack here," she nudged Jack's stomach roughly with her high-heeled foot, "is all fanboy over you."

The doctor smiled, a tiny blush seeping in his cheeks, "Ah. And you are?"

"I'm Buffy," the girl spoke softly as she edged forward.

"Hello Buffy," the Doctor smiled cheerfully, "So…you and Jack…"

It was a question that Buffy had heard many a time before. From jealous women and men, from opponents and friends. Buffy wasn't sure where this man fell. Buffy glanced behind her to look at the still unconscious man, how to answer.

"Companion for lack of a better term," Buffy shrugged, "So this is the TARDIS."

The Doctor allowed the change of subject goodness knew he did that quite a bit.

"This is it," he told Buffy slowly.

Buffy moved forward and trailed her fingers delicately across the control panel.

She glanced up at the Doctor and smiled softly, "She's beautiful."

The Doctor's lips curled upward proudly, "Isn't she just. How about a tour—ah, we're all charged up and ready to go, we really should go. So, Buffy, where do you want to go?"

Buffy rolled her shoulders, "Hmm, I don't know. Surprise me, Doctor."

He chuckled smoothly and rubbed his hands together, "Excellent, excellent. Let's leave it up to the TARDIS."

"Alrighty."

The Doctor glanced over Buffy's shoulder at the still very unconscious Jack, "How about that tour?"

He stuck his arm out like a proper gentleman.

"Milord," Buffy giggled.

"Milady," the Doctor inclined his head as Buffy wrapped her arm under his to lay her palm over the back his hand.

"Well, well, color me surprised. Were you a proper lady before you met Jack?"

"Bad Halloween," Buffy confided.

"Ah," the Time Lord accepted the answer, "How do you feel about time travel?"

Buffy winced nearly imperceptibly, "Depends, I guess, is Jack along for the ride?"

The Doctor chuckled getting a lungful of sweet vanilla, "Experience? Bad, one I would guess."

"Landed up on Normandy Beach, and then, he tells the locals that I'm his personal lady," Buffy rolled her eyes at Jack's past antics.

"Ah," the Doctor bit back his laughter.

"You?"

"First time I met him? Oh, let's see, nearly got me killed by a bunch of nanogenes."

Buffy was delighted as she leaned lightly on the Doctor, "So we're agreed? Jack and time travel equals badness all around."

Hysterical laughter flowed through the TARDIS as it flew through space. The Doctor and the Slayer becoming thicker than the thickest thieves all the while the Captain lay passed out.

Please review, I need some encouragement on this story.