A/N: Hi, guys! I'm back for the first time in this year! How have you started the new year? As for me, I started it pretty well, with lots of good news and lots of scary but good things! But I won't bore you with all of that. I just wanna tell you something about this new chapter... There's a curious thing in this chapter... You'll read a song that is called 'When you come back down'; it's one of my favorite songs and the curious thing about it is that I recently found a cover of that song by Darren Criss, Dylan Saunders and Rachel Rubenstein; so it'd be cool if you listen to it, it's really a beautiful song. Okay, now I'll answer the reviews so you can read this new chapter!
santana12226: Yeah, I think I'm starting to be nicer! I think you've had enough cliffhangers already, so you deserve to rest from them for a while; I mean, my cruelty was pushing the envelope and I wouldn't like to be considered the Lucifer's daughter. Oh yeah, Jim is a fucker, isn't he? Yes, there are too many bad things happening to Brian, but now Darren is there and I think they can be good friends. You know? You're not the first person who tells me that Freckles is annoying and frustrating! I guess you're right; she acts in a weird way... I wonder why she changes her mind constantly with no apparent strong reason. But there's always a reason, right? Only that you still don't know it, but I do, because I can read the future. I'm that cool! haha. The sweet, nice and kind Darren is back! That's the way he actually is, I think, only that before he was going through a bad moment, so he acted in a way he isn't. You're not fired; you're still the ship queen! But you have to keep doing your job, okay? Daroeys seems quite complicated; it reminds me of Game of Thrones (Sorry, big fan!) and Daenerys... So I'll go with Jarren! I'm so glad you caught a glimpse of me under your Christmas tree! And, sadly, I did not get Darren under my tree, I guess I was a naughty girl; fortunately I didn't get a coal either! Maybe next time. I'm not surprised of what you told me about Mia. Surely it was something like that, otherwise, why would she block me? Nevertheless, I don't mind it... She doesn't know who I am, so her opinion of 'arsewholes' doesn't affect me at all. I'm actually quite indifferent about her and all she says or thinks. So, it's more than obvious that wouldn't prevent me to continue writing this or any other future story. You also are into #FuckFebruary team! That is funny! Maybe in the future it'll be a larger team! Oh! I wish I could update in less than 3 weeks, but problem is that I'm a slow writer, and I'm running out chapters already written, which is a big problem. What I can promise, though, is that I'll try to write faster, so that if I get it, I'll start updating more often. Why would you be scared that you won't be able to finish reading this story? Hopefully, nothing will happen to you and nothing will happen to me! About Playtime sequel! I think I made you a promise and I wouldn't like to break a promise, so I can assure you that there will be a sequel, not sure about when, but it's gonna happen! I remember our deal, and yes, you still are the one who's gonna choose Nuggie's last name! I'd like to hear about the ones you chose! Alright, you said July! I think I can do that, but I'll have to know what date of July! I'll try to post it the same day of your birthday and that will be my present to you! I finally watched 'Something Borrowed', only thanks to your suggestion! I really liked that movie! And it certainly reminded me of this story and when Darren said that to Freckles! It added a plus to the movie! I haven't watched the second part of The Hobbit, I didn't have the chance, I was gonna watch it tonight, but they changed the plans and we're gonna get fat at McDonald's instead! I agree, Peter Jackson is a master mind! I'm happy to know you remembered what I told you about NZ! Are you in Las Vegas now? Vacations? Las Vegas must be crazy! But as you said, it ain't home; I guess just few people would consider Las Vegas as home! Where am I located in this world? Argentina, but not Buenos Aires, Córdoba to be more precise, nothing too interesting; anyway, in April I'm moving to a small city in Argentina called Ushuaia, which is pretty beautiful but very cold. And 2014... Here we came, bitches! haha.
Adorkable Sherlock: What. The. Fuck. Okay, no... Let's start again, this time in a more polite way. My dearest nemesis (or fremesis) Sherlock. It's a great pleasure for me to let you know that your return has been a complete surprise and it was beyond my expectative. Despite our differences being that we are nemesis, my dear Sherlock, you have given me delightful, astounding news which have inflicted a sense of joy on me. I sincerely appreciate your polite surprise because it involved the greatest gratification one can feel and it involved a delectable way to start this New Year we have ahead. In other words, your entrance has been mind-blowing as you've planned and yearned for. Now that I've already commented this in a polite way and I've fulfilled my cordial duty, I'll proceed to speak as someone who gets carried away with their feelings. Going back to where I started... What the fuck? No, that is insufficient to convey the magnitude of the situation. It's more like... OMG! What the actual fuck? Are you coming to Argentina? When will that be? August for you? What city? What are the reasons? Vacations or are you staying for a long period of time? You said 'live' but I must be sure of it! Oh, please, don't say you sound stalker-ish, I'm gonna be the stalker one here! We must, ought to meet if you come! Of course! What do you think? That if you come here, I'd let you live peacefully when I'm here to be your biggest pain in the ass? Come on! We need to talk about this... And I don't know if you're gonna read this in time, and I'm an impatient person, so... Facebook, my dear friend because Twitter ain't enough for all we have to talk about. And the reasons why you want to meet me just made me smile like a fool and touched me, and you must know that I'm not one of those people who get too emotional, even if I write sappy and sentimental stuff; I don't feel emotional too often out the fiction. But, somehow, you never fail when you want to make me laugh or feel emotional (I do remember the first time you commented on my fics and it was one of the sweetest things someone could tell me, you know that now). And I'm your english teacher, too! And a person who has a crush on you. But of course it counts! You better don't hear me speaking english because you're gonna fire me! haha. When we get to meet each other, I'll thank you, too. I have my reasons to thank you, but I'll wait to tell you all of those things; perhaps with a letter as I did for your birthday, that I'm glad you liked. Now, don't force your vision if you need glasses to read! I command you to stop reading. You must have your vision in perfect conditions for the day we're gonna meet! I see you're just as fan as I am when it comes to Game of Thrones, which makes you even more awesome. I'm not like George R. R. Martin! I do not own that degree of cruelty. But perhaps I'm his long-lost daughter. I'm gonna fucking kill 'em all! Burn them all! Just to be more precise. You said it, you win or you die... And this is a game, too... not of thrones, but... I'm not quite sure yet, but it's a game, and not precisely the nicest and fairest one. Now that you mentioned it... Yes, I actually think Clerk is a Stark; perhaps he is like Robb; I'd say he is like Ned, but I wouldn't like to cut off his head; but well, Robb didn't end in a good way either. Fear not, my dear Sherlock! Jim is not like a Lannister! At least not like a legally confirmed Lannister; he's more like a Baratheon. Not like Robert, Renly or Stannis Baratheon; it's more like... Joffrey Baratheon. How about that? You are a Lannister? I beg your pardon? Are you fucking serious? No. Don't do that, don't say that! If you're a Lannister, you better are like Tyrion. I'd like to be like Daenerys because, I don't know, I like dragons. They're so badass! My sister said I'm like Sansa, and I hit her head, so you better don't say it; I'm none like Sansa. Alright, I got carried with Game of Thrones. I did see the mid season finale of OUAT! That was a hell of an episode! I swear I was in tears when Rumple died... Anyway, I refuse to believe he died because, no. He cannot die! He's the 'bestest' of the best! And omg Hook... Even if he was a stranger for Emma now... If I were Emma and I had a guy like Hook at my door, I'd totally kidnap him in my bedroom. Like, goddamn, girl! Are you fucking blind? Look at that hottie! I don't like Baelfire... He is not for Emma. Hook all the way. You know what is funny? I got my niece to watch OUAT with me! She loves it as much as I do! haha, we talk about it a lot! All thanks to you! You suggested me that tv show! Alright, I'll expect some sort of explanation to everything my dear Sherlock, but not Lannister. Why? Don't do this to me!
AmritSoomal: I really hope you had an amazing Christmas and a great start in this New Year, too! Haha, yes! I put sad panda! It reminded me of you and the conversation about pandas we had in the past! You've decided that Joey gets with Mandy, Jen with Brian, Freckles with Darren and that Brain's dad will get better? Alright, there is too much to grant! But, just because I'm nice, some of the things you have decided will come true, but I won't tell you which out of them will. February being lesbian? haha, that's a a good one to consider! Why is Freckles coughing up blood? Do you really want me to answer you that? I really can't tell you, though! It's an important part of the story, that's all I can say! Aww, I really love Jen, too! I wish I had a friend like her in real life! It was time for her to come back, right? You think Mandy should go to Jen's house for Christmas? Well, I think I can do that, if you wish! But... Will they live happily ever after? That's something I couldn't tell, but we'll figure it out with time! Oh my god! I made your sister think that you're a freak! Is there something I can do about to make you think the opposite? For starters, I'll try not to write again something like Brian touching Freckles and feeling her up. Will that be something good? Well, I hope that when you have time to read again, you can find everybody happy in this story as you want! I might have time to make it! I wish you all the luck in the world with your mocks! I truly hope you do it right and I hope that by the time you come back, you'll tell me that you rocked it! You'll let me know, right? For now, good luck! And yay! I'll have access to your kitchen again! But I can't promise I won't eat all your food! You know how fond I am of food, so that is like asking a child not to eat a candy! But what I can promise is that, at least, I'll leave you a cookie left. Do not expect for more! I will miss you, too! But right now, you have to focus on your mocks! That is way more important!
MeMi83: Oh yes, I know! Sometimes I think I'm too harsh on Brian. But Jim had to show up again and it wouldn't be something nice, he is mad and more now that Darren is helping him. Maybe the good things that had been happening to him lately would allow him to be strong enough not to let this affect him too much. Let's see what happens! I do think that when February returns and Freckles is no longer allowed to see Darren will be, perhaps, interesting; I won't say unexpected, though. And that leads to the matter of Darren living with Brian; will that affect Freckles/Darren/February relationship, too? I missed Jen so much, so I think it's pretty good to have her back; therefore, there will be more of her in the future; perhaps her intervention will be more important. Who knows? Maybe she will be a main character again! I couldn't agree more with what you said about time; time is such a relative matter of fact! Why! I didn't know it was your birthday! I feel bad for that! I want to wish you a super belated birthday! Wait, but I'm not sure, is your birthday 27, 28 or 29th Dec? I want to keep it in mind for the next time! Oh, I wish I knew, so I could have done something for you, at least a little silly thing! But next time. And I'm sure you had a pretty lovely time! I mean, it must be great the fact that your birthday is between Christmas and New Year! May 2014 be the best year for you, too! How have you started the New Year?
vicky: Happy New Year to you, Vicky! I hope you started it in a great way! And thank you very much, may you have the best year ever, too! I'm really glad you liked my toast; I really meant each one of those words. Now, thank you a lot for saying I'm a good writer and you love my stories, you know what that means to me! But most importantly, thank you for noticing that these stories are not only about Darren, but about the problems and insecurities every human being has. I feel very thrilled and humbled by the fact that, somehow, I taught you something positive and that I made you understand that although sometimes life is pretty hard, it's something beautiful and it gets better and better if you keep trying on. I wish everybody could know that, imagine how that would be! Seriously, having you noticing that is one of the best accomplishments. It makes me feel that writing this is worth it. Now, back to the last chapter and your opinions. Yes, I think that chapter had it all, and I guess the following chapters will be like that as well, with a lot of upside down events since the chapters are longer now; like so many things can happen in only one chapter. I couldn't stand the fact of Brian and Freckles being apart! I had to make Freckles forgive him; I think he deserved it, too. And Jen! I missed writing about her, and for that same reason I think she will become a main character again... I mean, she won't be all the time because she's in NYC while others are in Ann Arbor or LA (Mandy's case); but she will appear more often. I also think she helped Brian a lot; she is a person who gets easily what people are going through and she is a kind-hearted person, so if there was one person who could help Brian, that was Jen and I'm glad it was like that. You said it, no one can resist her affection; even Brian, possibly the most reserved person in world, spoke with her about his feelings, something crazy! Yes, you'll meet Jen's boyfriend, not in this chapter; but probably in the next one! Let's see if you like him! Darren and Brian became good friends, as you expected! Darren (and Joey) even offered Brian to move to his apartment. And Darren defending Brian? If you read the first part of this story (High School), you'd never imagine that they could ever be friends. Life is crazy, isn't it? Freckles, ah! She is acting weird lately, right? She changes her mind every second at time. Hopefully she will get everything straight soon. The good thing she has done was when she bought that birthday cake and gave Brian a birthday worthy of being remembered; his first birthday party with his loved ones; it's a big deal. Drunken Brian, eh? Who would imagine that? Yes, I also think that's a progress for him; just as the fact he finally got true friends, among all the other good things that happened to him... Except that phone call that screwed everything and made Freckles, Jen and Joey find out that not everything was going well and that the bully was back. Is Brian's dad gonna die or Jim is lying? You'll find it out in this chapter! And I'm super happy to know you liked Freckles/Darren challenge! I thought it could be something funny to do, since not everything must be drama. About the questions you asked me! Those are pretty hard questions and I loved them! I really like that fact that you're interested in knowing more about me! When did I start writing stories? I can't recall it, truly. In high school, I guess; but I didn't really write them because I loved to do it, I wrote them because it was homework and they weren't actually stories, because what they made us write were tons of essays and poems. And when I say poems, I'm referring to those kinds of poems which have to rhyme by all means, otherwise it's unacceptable; so, apparently and considering what my teacher said, my poems sucked. Then, in my Freshman year in college I was like, super in love with a guy, but it was an unrequited love (at least in that moment) and I wrote a poem (not like the poem that has to rhyme) and I only showed it to my best friend by that time who said that it wasn't a good poem but it was meaningful. I gave up on writing until one day I was having a Skype session with some friends and one of them was feeling down and wanted to cheer her up. She loves Chris Colfer and I started telling a very random story about her and Chris, everything that popped in my mind. She loved it and told me I should write something, and the others friends asked me if I ever considered writing a fanfiction. I honestly never wondered that, I was the type of girl who used to read fanfictions, not to write them. So here comes you other question... I wrote a one-shot story: the first chapter of a 'Life with Darren Criss'; that was my real first story. I posted it on Internet because I only saw it as a sort of game, a distraction to get entertained in my boring summer vacations. I didn't tell anyone about it; except the friends with whom I was having a Skype session that time. They liked it, but just that; it was something silly, so I didn't expect anything. In that time if I ever wrote something and posted it, it was just because I wanted to find something to get entertained in my vacations. Then, something happened... One stormy day, it was like a really stormy day, unusual in my city, it even caused floods... And then... A power outage that lasted five damn days... In the entire city. Imagine me! I had absolutely nothing to do! I must admit that without electricity everything is harder, we're used at it and nowadays we need it. So... Chain Letters came to happen. I remember it. It was at night, I was alone, outside, at the candlelight, watching the stars, deep in thought... Thinking about bad and different situations that two friends were going through: one of them was showing signs of being suicidal, and the other one was replacing her pain with other kind of pain (self-harm). I wanted to help them, but I didn't know how... And I discovered that I'm not good at talking, I'm good at listening, though; and I can show people what I think by written words. Therefore, I grabbed a notebook and a pen and inspiration came over me. I started writing like in the old days. That was the first time I wrote with a purpose, and not by mere entertainment. That was the first time I forgot about all the bad things people told me when it came to writing something, and instead of writing to please someone, I wrote to help someone; and later on, to help myself, too. And this time I made the decision to post it on Internet not because of fun, but because just as that story could help my friends and could help myself, it could help others as well. So why not? A story, a fiction could be a valid way to help people instead of simply entertain someone. And that is when I found out that writing is my passion, because I discovered the power that written words can have. So, to answer another of your questions... I did not expect anything from the readers to tell me. I just wished that someone could read it and could help them the way it helped me to write it. That was all I cared about. I never considered myself a writer and I'd never do so; because I'm not a qualified writer, I do not know the things you must know to be a writer; I'm just a person who writes a fiction as a way to help people, an unusual way that is one of the few ways I can do so because I'll never be good at talking. And when you're not expecting people to read your story and you don't expect people to tell you nice things about what you write, then when you get it you feel completely thrilled and surprised. It's always a big surprise for me to know that some people enjoy my stories and I'm always very happy when someone tells me that I helped them, because I know that I'm accomplishing my purpose with the things I write; it allows me to realize that I'm still writing for that purpose; therefore, writing will never be in vain. Whoa! That was a long explanation, wasn't it? I'm sorry if I bored you, I tend to get carried away. And I'm so glad that you asked me such a thing. So, thank you, Vicky!
Alright, guys! That was all for today! Now I'll let you read this new chapter! I hope you can enjoy it! I wish you a totally awesome week full of happiness in this first month of the year! Until next time… Warm fuzzies!
TEENAGE DREAM
Chapter 63
Dumb human like you
After Jim hung up, you were feeling absolutely rabid because he was back and he wouldn't stop messing. This time this was over the top. Jim really pushed the envelope. You wanted to find him and make him pay for all the suffering he has caused. But above all, you were feeling deeply sorrowful. You wouldn't stop sobbing for seeing Brian crying silently in that heartrending way, curled up in a ball and shivering. Darren and Joey seemed to be really distressed and they didn't know what to say, so they were looking down, pursing their lips; and Jen was also shedding some silent tears, looking at Brian. You stood up and you quickly walked to Brian, pushing the desk away to sit on the floor right next to him and pull him into a very tight and soothing embrace. You placed his head on your chest as he uncovered his face and buried his head on your chest to cry, wrapping his arms around you. You began to rub his back and stroke his hair to try to reassure him at least a little, even if you were aware that there wasn't enough reassurance for someone who has been told that his dad, the only family he had, would inevitably die in a matter of months.
"It's okay, Brian, it's okay." You whispered while holding him tightly. "I'm right here. All of us are right here."
You kept rubbing his back, but he wouldn't calm down. Then you noticed that Darren walked to where you were and he sat on the floor, next to Brian, and then he embraced him. You were surprised by this gesture, but it made you feel good. Jen and Joey also walked to where you were and they sat in front of Brian and leaned to embrace him as well; so the hug turned into a group hug, a very comforting one. After a while, Brian could calm down and he moved his head to wipe his tears away. All of you parted a little, so that Brian looked at all of you and he smiled faintly with his puffy eyes.
"Thank you." He tried to articulate with cracked voice, then he looked down and held back the tears that were about to escape from the corner of his eyes. Again, the silence. It was obvious that nobody knew what to say.
"I think we're wasting our time." Jen suddenly said and Darren and Joey shot her a withering look. Why would she say something like that? It was rude. She stood up and looked at you all. "Come on, stand up!" She requested and you looked at her frowning. "Come on! What are you waiting for?"
"Jen… Stop." Darren voiced firmly and his voice echoed in the silent room.
"What?" Jen asked looking at Darren, frowning, as Darren looked at her severely.
Jen ignored this and looked at Brian and stretched her hand. He looked up a bit confused and still distressed, but he did take her hand and he stood up. Why was Jen doing this? She wasn't this kind of person. Now Brian was surely feeling as though he was some sort of bother.
"We'll go to your apartment, you'll pack some stuff, and all of us will go to San Francisco right now. Come on, everybody! Hurry up to pack your stuff." Jen requested and all of you looked at her stunned. Brian looked down and his lips began to quiver.
"I can't go there… I don't have…" Brian began to babble with choked voice and he covered his face again.
"Hey, don't worry about anything. You must go to San Francisco and we won't let you go alone, we'll be with you... So we all are going to San Francisco. I have the enough money to pay for 5 round trip airline tickets. So why don't we start packing some stuff, guys?" Jen said and again all of you looked at her astonished.
"I can't let you do so." Brian articulated with cracked voice, now looking at Jen with teary eyes.
"Yes, you can and I'll do it. Consider this as a birthday present to you." She replied with a warm smile as you grinned because of that very nice gesture.
"I'll pack some things, it won't take so long." You said firmly.
"Yes, me too." Darren said while nodding.
"I wish I could go... But my parents are coming to Ann Arbor tomorrow." Joey said afflicted and all of you nodded in understanding.
Before Brian could refuse, Darren and you turned around to walk to the bedroom and pack some stuff. Before you entered the bedroom, you saw Brian shedding some tears while looking at Jen; then, all of a sudden, he pulled her into a tight hug, burying his face on her head as Jen wrapped her arms around him and rubbed his back.
"Thank you so much." You heard Brian saying with teary voice.
You smiled thrilled and finally entered the bedroom, thinking that it was very nice to see that your best friend and your old friend from high school were getting along. Jen was an incredible person. You and Darren packed some stuff really fast and you even packed some things for Jen. When you left the bedroom, Brian was sitting on the couch in between Jen and Joey who were placing their hands on his shoulder as he was on the phone.
"Daddy, how are you?" Brian asked, now trying to make his voice sound natural. "Yes, I'm fine, but how are you? Dad... Yeah... Dad... Yes, things are good but I want to know... Yes. No, nothing is... Dad!" Brian exclaimed loudly. "How are you?" He asked and then there was a silence in which Brian was biting his lips and nodding while looking down. "You know, Dr. Moore called me. Yes, he told me everything, dad. No, you shouldn't be angry with him, you know I'm still the emergency contact. Yes, it was an emergency, dad, you know it was and you should have called me! You should have told me that you were not doing well! Yes, yes! I know you're still my father but... Dad, please." Brian whispered anguished and there was a silence again, it seemed his dad was talking. "We'll talk later. I'll fly to San Francisco right now and I'll arrive in a couple of hours. Yes, I'll go there... with some friends. Yes, dad. No, dad, no! No I don't want you to do anything! You know you have to rest. Dad! We'll talk later. Okay, yes. Bye, daddy. I love you." He said and his voice cracked before he hung up. He remained looking down in silence and then he smiled faintly. "Thank you, guys, for all you're doing."
"We're a team, right?" Darren asked and Brian looked up at him and nodded with a grin. "Come on, buddy, let's go."
Thus all of you greeted Joey and Joey hugged Brian and patted his back before leaving the apartment. You went to Brian's apartment so that he could pack some stuff and then you took a cab to go to the Detroit Metropolitan Airport. Once there, you had to wait about 4 hours for the next flight to San Francisco. The plane took off at 3 am, and about four hours later you were in San Francisco. It was 4 am in San Francisco and you were back.
When we arrived to San Francisco, I didn't even call my parents, even if I was dying to see them. It was 4 am, anyways, so I didn't want to wake them; Jen didn't call her parents either. We all decided to accompany Brian to his house, even if he insisted not to because it was located in the skid row of San Francisco, in the Tenderloin District. We took a cab and the driver declined to enter the neighborhood, so we got out and started walking. While I was walking, I was feeling frightened for real, I was feeling completely unsafe. This was the worst neighborhood in San Francisco; I knew The Tenderloin was a high-crime neighborhood, particularly violent street crime such as robbery and aggravated assault. It had many large apartments, Hotel and Motel buildings, alleyways, liquor stores, strip clubs sex shops and bars. It was dirty, smelly and notoriously shady. I could see drug dealers, addicts, prostitutes and mentally unstable street people anxiously pandering the streets. There was lots of gang activity such as fights, initiations, purse snatching, store robbery; and we all were seeing that while we were walking.
"Guys, stay close... And do not dare to ask for some change or look at someone in the eye. And don't act like a tourist." Brian whispered.
Dammit, that scared me even more. Freckles walked to Brian and linked her arm with his, as Jen liked her arm with mine. We saw some gangs fighting and Brian increased the speed. Shit, I just wanted to arrive wherever his house was. But suddenly, a guy with a black hat, sunglasses, a pair of Jordans, low ride jeans, collared shirt, and a gold chain, appeared pulling out some sort of knife and placing it on Brian's stomach; so we all gasped and widened our eyes.
"Gimme yo bank or I'mma buck ya! You better recognize cause I ain't the one to be messed with." The guy said threateningly. Nonetheless, Brian didn't move. He just looked at the guy fixedly and raised an eyebrow.
"Are you really trying to steal me, Trevon? You know I don't have money." Brian responded and we all looked at him confused and bewildered. They guy looked up and when he saw Brian's face, he put the knife on his pocket.
"Clerk!" The guy exclaimed and Brian nodded. Then the Trevon guy shook his hand with Brian while patting his shoulder. "You got mad flava, man! I didn't recognize ya!" He exclaimed while laughing as Brian nodded and let out a short giggle. "Don't get it twisted, it was my bad! Yo, nigga wadup?" He asked posing with swag and patting Brian's shoulder.
"Fine, just visiting San Francisco again. It's good to be back." Brian answered and the guy grinned.
"I ain't mad atcha, yo." He said while softly patting Brian's head.
"How about you, Trevon? Long time no see." Brian asked.
"Everything is aight." He answered while nodding slowly. Then he turned his gaze to Freckles and smiled widely, taking one of her hands. "Yo, gurl! Cool to see ya around again! You're off the hinges! Damn, you're slammin, do you feel me?" He asked and I frowned and exchanged a look with Jen, who was just as astonished as me.
"Thank you, Trevon; always so nice to me! It's good to see you again." Freckles said with a giggle, giving him a small kiss on his cheek. He grinned and then looked at Jen and me.
"Who are those newjacks?" He asked suspiciously, narrowing his eyes.
"They're my friends, Trevon. Darren and Jen. So, could you keep them safe too?" Brian asked and the guy nodded.
"Chill, ace! I know the ledge, and my folks in the hood won't bust ya. Everything is thorough, na mean, word is bond, yo." He answered as Brian nodded thankfully.
"Thanks, Trevon. Now we'll go, I really wanna see my dad." Brian said and suddenly Trevon looked at him a bid sad.
"Schmank, I heard about your old man. I feel you, homie." Trevon said while patting Brian's back.
"Yeah, he's getting worse. But at least I'm here now to be with him and help him. He just needs some company." Brian answered while looking down and biting his lips.
"True dat, yo. Heart, ace. Fo' sheazy, dude." Trevon stated gently, still patting Brian's back. "My grandma will roll up at your crib in the morrow, fasho." He said and Brian chuckled.
"Oh, I'm sure my dad will love it. He always loved your grandma's strawberries cake." Brian said and the guy nodded with a grin.
"Well, I gotta rollout, dawg! The ghetto bird and the po-po are around. Be easy, yo!" He exclaimed while squeezing Brian's shoulder, then he looked at the rest. "Peace out, peeps."
Trevon turned around and walked away. Brian explained us that Trevon was a guy he knew since he was 5 and Trevon was 10, he said that he always made sure to protect him from other people, and his grandmother was the woman who took care of Brian when his mother wasn't doing well and even after his mother abandoned him; so Trevon's family was like the closest friends his dad had. After his explanation, we kept walking until we arrived to a fairly dilapidated apartment building. It was a six story building with brick bearing walls with deep-set windows and recessed doorways, with emergency metallic stairs in the facade. We walked to a security wrought iron gate and Brian opened it with a bobby pin and then we climbed some steps and walked to a large wooden door. This time he opened it with a key and we entered a small vestibule with tile floor and walls with peeling paint. The place didn't have an elevator and there was only a steel spiral staircase. We started up the stairs once he announced that he lived on the fifth floor. While we were going up the stairs, I could hear crying babies, people arguing and yelling, people in the corridors doing drugs, making out or fighting. I noticed Brian was uncomfortable, but he didn't say anything. We finally arrived to the fifth floor and I was a bit dizzy, spiral staircases sucked. There was a dimly lit corridor that leaded to four wooden doors and we walked to the last one that had a bronze door number that said "5C". Brian knocked the door five times, making a particular sound. After a while, we heard some steps and sounds of security door chains and keys; and then a very thin and tall old man about 48 years old with light brown straight hair, pale blue eyes, wrinkles on the pale face, and rimmed glasses opened the door.
"Daddy!" Brian exclaimed weakly, automatically enfolding his arms around the thin man.
Brian buried his face on his dad's shoulder and the man placed one hand on his back and other on the back of Brian's head. His father was smiling brightly and chuckling with eyes closed. Then I noticed his hands began to shake in a severe way, and I thought it was probably due to his disease. Brian parted, smiled widely and held both of his dad's hands, causing the tremor stop. Both Brian and his dad's eyes were teary, yet none of them were crying or something. When his father grinned, I noticed he had the same smile than Brian; yet they weren't so similar. His father placed his hands on Brian's cheeks and he leaned to kiss his forehead.
"I missed you, son." He said and Brian looked at him and grinned.
"I missed you too, daddy." He said and his voice cracked. Then his dad's gaze turned to where we were, so all of us grinned shyly as Brian stepped aside.
"I'm so glad to see your beautiful face again, sweetie." Brian's dad said while looking at Freckles. Freckles' face lit up with a wide smile and she walked closer to give him a hug.
"And I'm so glad to see you again, George!" Freckles exclaimed with a soft chuckle. So George was Brian's father's name. "I must admit that not hearing your jokes as often as before feels bad. So, I'm here to make up for all the missed jokes!" She joked and George laughed.
"I have so many new jokes, we'll have a long day!" He responded and Freckles chuckled. Then they parted and he looked at me and Jen who were feeling very shy.
"Dad, they're Darren and Jen." Brian said and he nodded with a big grin.
"It's really nice to meet you!" He exclaimed and he walked to us and gave each one of us a hug, so Jen and I got surprised. It felt nice, though.
"It's a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Clerk." Jen said politely.
"Please, call me George! I don't like when people call me Mr. Clerk!" Brian's dad stated while laughing jovially.
"Yeah, he still thinks he's a teenager." Brian mocked playfully while looking at his dad.
"Well, in that case, it's a pleasure to meet you, George." I said and he grinned.
"Come in, guys, come in! I prepared my specialty for you." George said while gesturing us to come in.
"Dad! I told you not to do anything!" Brian complained.
"Do you think I wouldn't do anything for all of you who spent more than four hours on a plane?" His dad asked and Brian just huffed.
When we entered the apartment, Brian's dad closed the door and tried to lock it with the keys, but his hands began to tremble, so Brian took his father's hands, took the keys and did it himself. It was as though Brian was used to that. I looked all around and I noticed the apartment was really, but really small; not as small as Brian's apartment in Ann Arbor, though. The kitchen and the dining room were combined in only one room and it was located at the left; the living room consisted in just two armchairs and a little coffee table, located just as soon as you entered the apartment; and at the right there was some sort of short corridor that ended in one wooden door, surely the bathroom; and then, at the right of the corridor there were two openings on the wall with curtains, surely they were the two bedrooms. Although the furniture was old and a little rickety and although there wasn't much furniture, the apartment was well kept and tidy. Some of the walls had peeling paint and the wooden floor was rickety and it creaked where you stepped; but it had good lighting and it was cozier than Brian's apartment in Ann Arbor.
"Please, guys, sit!" George exclaimed joyfully as he walked to the kitchen and all of us sat, except Brian, who moved the armchairs to the table because there were only three chairs. "You must be really good friends of my son, because this is the first time he brings friends here; so you must be special." He said and Jen and I raised our eyebrows in surprise. Was that true? We glanced at Brian and he was just looking down, a bit uncomfortable. "Well, he only invited you, sweetie." Brian's dad said looking at Freckles and then he tried to grab a tray, but his hands began to tremble again, so Brian walked to him.
"Dad, why don't you sit with my friends? I'll bring the chocolate pudding and the coffees." Brian said gently and his dad nodded. He walked to one of the armchairs and sat as Brian started making coffee.
"Darren and Jen, right?" He asked and both Jen and I looked at him and nodded. "Are you also attending University of Michigan?"
"Oh yes, I am. But Jen doesn't, she's attending The George Washington University's School of Media and Public Affairs." I answered politely.
"And what are you studying?" He asked cheerfully.
"I'm studying Theater Performance." I responded.
"And I'm studying Journalism." Jen answered with a polite smile.
We kept talking to Brian's dad and I already liked him. He was a very funny man, very kind, cheerful and warm; it wasn't uncomfortable to talk to him; which was weird considering it was always awkward talking to the parents of your friends the first time you meet them. Freckles and George seemed to have a great relationship. I glanced at Brian, who was glancing at his dad from time to time, with a fond half-smile and sad eyes. At some point, I noticed Brian looked at his dad and a silent tear ran down his cheek; and I suddenly remembered that probably this would be one of the last times he could get to see his dad or hear him talking; then I felt really bad for him. Then I looked at Brian's dad and I looked straight into his lively pale blue eyes; that man couldn't die just in a few months. It was unfair. Life was really treating Brian so bad and he did not deserve it. So I looked down and bit my lips to hold back the tears that were about to stream down my face.
It was already 9 am and you spent like 4 hours talking to Brian's dad. Darren and Jen seemed to like him; of course, George was lovely, everybody adored that man, including you. You all were having a good time, except Brian. Well, he actually was laughing and talking cheerfully, but you could notice the pain in his eyes and you caught him shedding some tears before he joined all of you. After a while, Brian forced his dad to go to sleep and rest; and when he did so, Brian took advantage to prepare everything to go to the hospital and see Dr. Moore. Darren said he would go to his home to visit his parents, you were going to accompany Brian and, oddly enough, Jen asked if she could accompany Brian as well. So Brian, Jen and you were in the hospital waiting room; as you and Jen were trying to calm him down, because he was very edgy.
"Mr. Clerk?" Suddenly a husky voice called and you all looked at that direction. A tall man with dark hair and eyes, wearing glasses and white coat was looking at Brian. Brian quickly stood up and walked to the doctor.
"Dr. Moore. I came as soon as I heard the voicemail." Brian said desperately and he nodded.
"Let's go to the office." He said and Brian nodded.
"Umm, I came with some friends..." He said and the doctor looked at Jen and you.
"It's okay, you can come in." The doctor responded.
You entered the office and you sat on some chairs. The doctor started explaining Brian everything that he has already explained on the phone call, only that more in detail. Brian was asking some things and the doctor answered all of his questions. Everything that the doctor said was not positive at all. It really seemed that Brian's dad didn't have many hopes and even though Brian was taking it in a quiet way, you knew he was freaking out and he wanted to cry.
"There must be something you can do. There must be something that we forgot to try. There must be something." Brian stated exasperatedly, looking deeply into the doctor's eyes.
"We tried everything and the results weren't positive. His disease is very advanced and there is no treatment strategies left to do." Dr. Moore answered and Brian shook his head, now looking down.
"How about another deep brain stimulation?" Brian asked and Dr. Moore shook his head.
"We've already performed four deep brain stimulations in the last two months, and twenty in a year. We cannot do it again." He responded and Brian closed his eyes and bit his lips.
"But there must be something, some kind of medicine, or some kind of surgery... It doesn't matter how much it costs, I'll try to get the money, but please, there must be another way." Brian said in a supplicant way.
"I'm so sorry, Mr. Clerk. We did everything as possible. There are no other medicines or surgeries. But the palliative care will help to make your father feel less pained in the last months of life." Dr. Moore said gently.
"No, I don't want the palliative care. I don't want my dad to die, doctor. I want something that can cure him! I don't want my dad to die, please." Brian exclaimed loudly with choked voice as his green eyes filled with tears.
Jen and you looked down in a sorrowful way and both of you tried to hold back your tears. This was something terrible to hear. The pain Brian was feeling was terrible and devastating. The doctor remained silent as few tears fell down Brian's face.
"Excuse me, Dr. Moore." Jen suddenly spoke and everybody looked at her. "What if Mr. Clerk is transferred to the New York-Presbyterian Hospital? I've heard it is the best hospital in regard to Parkinson's disease. Mr. Clerk will have access to the largest possible treatment of body options and they have a large and highly successful neurosurgical program." Jen commented and Brian looked at her stunned, parting his lips and then looking desperately at Dr. Moore.
"To be honest, Ms...?" Dr. Moore asked.
"Jennifer Nedeau." She answered.
"To be honest, Ms. Nedeau, transferring the patient to the New York-Presbyterian Hospital would be the ideal. Although there is no cure for Parkinson's disease, the specialists who work at the New York-Presbyterian Hospital are experts in Neurology and Neuroscience matters; and they have the best rehabilitation experts and equipment just as well as the best devices as to the neurosurgical procedure called deep brain stimulation. None of the current therapeutic approaches reverse the progression of Parkinson's disease, but many good treatments are available to alleviate the symptoms, which could greatly improve quality of life and perhaps extend life expectancy of the patient." Dr. Moore said and you noticed how Brian began to breathe heavily as though he was completely relieved to hear there was another option; so more tears ran down his face. "However, for being it the best hospital for Parkinson's disease in the country, it is the most expensive hospital and only few people can have access to it. Considering the patient's economic possibilities, it'd be basically impossible to transfer the patient." He commented while pursing his lips; so Brian, again, closed his eyes and bit his trembling lips. You placed one hand on his arm and began to caress it to reassure him.
"Just let's suppose there are not economic restrictions; putting aside the economic part, is it possible for the patient to be transferred to that hospital?" Jen asked curiously.
"Yes, it is completely possible and it'd be the best option." Dr. Moore answered.
"So, could we start doing all the legal procedure to transfer Mr. Clerk to the New York-Presbyterian Hospital?" Jen asked and you looked at her frowning.
"Yes, we could; but we can't do it. As I already said, the patient can't afford the cost of that hospital." Dr. Moore responded.
"I'm sorry, Dr. Moore, my question wasn't a doubt; it was a petition." Jen said firmly and everybody looked at her frowning in confusion, including Brian. "Brian Clerk will keep being the emergency contact, but I'll be the person who's gonna be in charge to afford all the costs of specialists, medicines, treatments and surgeries. I can present all the necessary legal documents to prove that I have the enough condition to be the economic representative for Mr. Clerk, and I am willing to sign every necessary legal document as the person in charge, understanding all the legal matters involved if I happen to break the law." Jen stated in all seriousness and you widened your eyes in amazement. You glanced at Brian and you saw he was in shock, looking fixedly at Jen.
"Ms. Nedeau, I want to let you know that's a very serious responsibility." Dr. Moore voiced looking intently at Jen.
"I know, Dr. Moore. And I'm saying I am willing to take that responsibility." Jen responded very determined.
"In that case, we can start the legal procedure. But we first need to consult with the patient or his family." The doctor said and then he looked at Brian, who was still staring at Jen in shock. "Mr. Clerk? What's your opinion?" The doctor asked but Brian was taken aback, so he took a while to answer.
"Jen, you have no idea how much I appreciate all you're doing for me and my dad, it is beyond extraordinary. But I can't let you do so. You heard what Dr. Moore said, it is the most expensive hospital and even if you have the money... I don't know if I'll ever be able to repay the borrowed money." Brian said sadly, with teary voice.
"I never said I'll lend you the money. I said I'll pay for it, I'll be the legal economic representative." Jen clarified and Brian shook his head while shedding tears. "This is for your dad, Brian. You know it is the best, you know it is the only solution. I have the possibility to pay for everything, I have the chance to help you; so that's what I am gonna do. I want you to forget about the money and make a decision only based on what you think what's the best for your dad's health." Jen said while looking deeply into Brian's eyes. "I know it's hard for you to do, but please, do it." Jen added and Brian whimpered and ran a hand over his face.
"Mr. Clerk?" Dr. Moore asked again and Brian, thankfully, nodded.
"Yes. I want to transfer my dad to the New York-Presbyterian Hospital." Brian answered and both you and Jen smiled widely.
"It's the best decision, Mr. Clerk." Dr. Moore replied with a grin. "Well, we can start with the legal procedures right now."
Right after this, Brian stood up and walked straight to Jen. He kneeled next to her chair and pulled her into a very tight hug. Jen wrapped her arms around him as he began to cry on her shoulder.
"Thank you very much. Thanks. Thank you, Jen. I'll be eternally thankful for this. I have no idea how to thank you the enough. Thank you." Brian wept heartbreakingly on her shoulder as Jen rubbed his back.
Then she gestured something to ask you to join the hug, so you walked to Brian and kneeled next to him. You embraced him, as he wrapped one arm around Jen and the other arm around you. You remained like this for a long time, until Brian stopped crying and looked at both of you with a fond smile before kissing your cheeks. Jen and you also smiled at him, as the doctor was really patient to stand this all, maybe he was used to these situations. Thereby, Brian and Jen began with the legal procedure. It was a very long morning, but an entirely positive morning. You got to see Brian smiling for real again, and his eyes were shining in happiness and relief. And you would also be eternally thankful for all that Jen was doing; she didn't know Brian so well, yet she did all of those things for him and his dad. Jen was one of the most extraordinary girls you knew and you remembered that was the reason why you loved her so much.
It was already afternoon and after surprising my parents and after talking to them all morning long, I was in my old bedroom, thinking how much I missed San Francisco, my house, my bedroom, my family, and especially my dad's elaborated meals. I was just chilling out until my phone began to buzz. I checked it and I saw it was an incoming call from February.
"Hi, gorgeous." I greeted with a sweet grin, even if she couldn't see me.
"Spare me all of that shit, Darren." February answered, apparently upset. Oh no, no, no! Now what, man? Argh. "You didn't call me in the past two days!"
"I'm sorry, Feb... I just..." I started saying but she interrupted me.
"Shut up!" She yelled and I frowned. What was happening to her these days? "I added Jen on Facebook and guess what? Guess what?"
"What?" I asked lazily while sighing.
"She posted a picture in which you're in some ice rink and you are with your ex-girlfriend, Darren, when I begged you not to see her! You lied to me! You cheated on me!" February screamed and I closed my eyes and ran a hand over my face.
"I did not cheat on you, February. So stop saying I'm a cheater, because I am not and that is driving me nuts. Okay?" I said kinda annoyed and she remained silent, just grouching and huffing. "Yes, I saw Freckles; I won't lie to you. But what can I do? Jen is friends both with me and Freckles and she wants to spend time with the two of us! And I won't tell Jen that she cannot do it, because she'll soon leave and I want her to enjoy her days with us as much as possible. We didn't do anything, February; we just hung out with Jen." I clarified and then there was an abysmal silence. "And just so you know, to prove you that I don't lie to you, I want to tell you that I'm currently in San Francisco with Jen, Brian and... Freckles. Yes, we're here."
"What the fuck, Darren? How you dare! You are in San Francisco with your ex? What the hell? Why are you doing this to me? You're an asshole!" She yelled and now I really got mad.
"Shut up, February!" I demanded in a yell, so she stayed silent. "We are not here precisely to spend some fucking amazing time. So shut up and stop assuming stupid things if you don't know what's happening; because I am fucking tired of all that shit." I said upset. "You could have asked me... Hey Darren, are you okay? How are things going? Why didn't you call me? Is it happening something bad?... You know, I would have appreciated if you had asked that instead of assuming the worst of me. And you know what? The answer is that everything sucks right now, and everything is wrong and I am not fine. But you don't care, do you? You just only care if I'm with Freckles or not. And that hurts, because you're my girlfriend and it's supposed that you should care." I said now a bit distressed, followed by a profound silence.
"I am so sorry, Darren." February suddenly whispered, now her voice sounding gentle and repentant. "What's happening? Why aren't you fine?"
"We're in San Francisco because Brian's father's doctor called Brian and told him that his father is gonna pass away in few months." I answered. Again, the silence. "So we're here to support Brian in this difficult moment. And yes, I am with Freckles because all of us are friends. And I am so sorry if that bothers you, but I won't stop doing what I'm doing because this about Brian and his father, the only family he has; not about some stupid jealousy scene." I said with brittle voice.
"I am so sorry. I didn't know... How come..." February began to say with trembling voice. "How come the doctor said his father will pass away in few months? How... I thought he was getting a bit better with the treatment. Oh my god. How is Brian? I need to call him." She said, her voice sounding edgy.
"You know him, Feb. He would pretend he's alright, but he's not fine, we're talking about his dad. Last night, when he got the call, he just broke and it was... really sad to see him crying." I answered in a whisper. "It'd be really nice if you call him. He considers you as a friend, so he'll be grateful for your call."
"Yes, I'll definitely call him. Poor Brian! This shouldn't be happening, not after all the things Brian did and stopped doing for his father to get better. Oh my god, these are terrible news." She said and her voice now sounded choked.
"I know. I didn't even know what to say when he got the news, I was there and it was devastating to see. I just wish there could be some kind of miracle or new medical discovering. I just wish the doctor could tell him that there are still hopes." I whispered while staring the ceiling. "I'm just too afraid of what could happen with Brian if his dad dies; there are so many bad things happening to him that he'd totally lose it. He's strong, but I'm afraid he wouldn't be capable of enduring everything."
"Yes, I'm afraid too. I don't think he'd be able to overcome it. He'd be seriously depressed. And damn, he's such a good person; he doesn't deserve all of this. Nevertheless, I believe things, somehow, will work out for him. I think we should show him that there will always be hopes, he needs to hear that there are hopes and we need to be strong for him." She said and I nodded in agreement, even if she couldn't see me. "I'll call him now." She stated.
"Okay." I responded.
"And Darren... I'm so sorry for having been acting like a bitch lately, you didn't deserve it. I was just scared that you could regret of being my boyfriend and I thought you could fall for your ex again, so I was scared you could break up with me. I am so sorry. I promise I will try to change and I promise I won't act like a crazy and jealous girl again." She said and I could notice she was really repentant because she sounded distressed.
"It's okay, Feb, I understand. You just gotta trust me. I don't... I don't have feelings for my ex." I said trying to sound as honest as possible, even if I knew that in part it was a lie. "I am happy of having you as my girlfriend, because you make me happy... Well, except when you yell at me and I don't understand why you're so mad at me... But we can work on that. I don't want you to change because I love you the way you are, I just want you to trust me and I want you to stop feeling so insecure, because I won't do anything to hurt you." I said gently. "And I like it when you're jealous, to be honest... Just not when you're way too jealous, because it hurts me and it also hurts you." I said and then I paused. "I love you, Feb, I really do." I whispered sweetly, in all honesty.
"I love you too, baby." She whispered and I could picture her lovely smile. I grinned widely when I heard her saying that. "Well, I'll call Brian now."
"Alright... Gorgeous, I'm dying to see you again. I miss you so very much." I whispered hoarsely.
"I miss you too. But we'll see each other in few days." She whispered kindly. "See you soon, baby. Love you!" She said and then hung up.
After talking to February, I rolled on my side and I closed my eyes to take a little nap because I was really tired, I didn't sleep anything at all last night. It didn't work, though, because my phone buzzed again. I thought it was February again, so I fumbled in the bed to find my phone. But it was not her.
From Freckles: Hey, Darren, how's your time with your parents going so far?
To Freckles: Pretty cool. However, they are now working, so I'm just lying on bed. How's Brian?
From Freckles: He's good. Actually, I have some good news. If you're not doing anything, would you want to meet me? Brian wanted to be alone with his dad and Jen went to her parents' house; so I'm at downtown alone.
To Freckles: Sure! We're back in San Francisco. Do I have to tell you where I'd like to meet you or do you know where already?
From Freckles: I'll be there in 20.
I smiled brightly when I read her response, so I jumped out my bed, suddenly no longer feeling tired. Without even wasting my time on looking in the mirror, I went downstairs and I left home. I took my old bike to arrive there as fast as possible. Man, I really wanted to meet Freckles in Marin Headlands again. It'd be like the good old times. That was our very special place, after all... We had to go there. As it always was, I arrived there before her. I left the bike against the particular tree and then I sat on the grass, leaning my back against the tree. I stared all around and I realized how much I missed this place. It looked different and I knew exactly why: Freckles wasn't there. As I was observing my surroundings, millions of memories began to pop in my mind. The very deep conversations, the nights and the stargazing, our first secrets shared, our first hugs shared, the jokes, the silly arguments... everything. This was the place where we held our hands for the first time, this was the place where I stared into her eyes and I began to feel attracted to her for the first time and, most importantly, this was the place where we kissed for the very first time, right under this tree. It was really good to be back, I've been wishing for this moment since we grew apart.
"Somewhere only we know, eh?" I suddenly heard Freckles' voice.
I quickly turned my face to look at her and I grinned widely. She was walking towards me with the brightest smile. I stood up and when she was close enough, I pulled her into a very tight hug. She rested her face on my chest and enfolded her arms around me, as I rested my head on top of hers. We remained minutes hugging, and it didn't feel awkward, it felt as if this was the right thing to do. Having her in my arms in this particular place was the greatest feeling, and I could sense she was feeling exactly the same. No matter how different we were now since the last time we were here, when we were just two teenagers in love; we, in this place, would always be those teenagers and this place would always be this special place full of significance. I felt this place was the place where we could get back to be just me and her, unaware of the world around us with all its bad things. This was the place where all the bad could be turned into good, it was always like that. And damn, we were reunited again in here. So yeah, I was feeling moved. After a while, we parted and we sat on the grass. I sat with my back against the tree as she sat in between my legs, leaning her back on my chest and resting her head on one of my shoulders, as I was wrapping my arms around her waist and we were holding both of our hands. We were in silence with a merry smile on our faces, just looking around.
"This place knows a lot about us. Things that nobody else knows." I suddenly whispered near her ear, still looking around and feeling really well. She did not look at me, but I noticed a lovely grin on her face. "I really love this place; it's like the most beautiful place in the world."
"I think I know why you believe this is the most beautiful place." She suddenly said and I turned my gaze to look into her very pretty eyes, even if they weren't looking at me. "I was thinking that right where there is someone who we love a lot and right where someone really loves us, that really is the most beautiful place in the world. And we loved each other so much, so this place will always be the most beautiful place in the world." She stated and then turned her face to look into my eyes with the sweetest smile.
Her eyes were really bright and captivating, her smile was breathtaking, her smell was fascinating and her face in the sunlight was outstanding. Shit, how much I loved this girl who was in my arms. Everything revolved around her. How could that have changed? I smiled at her and I ran my thumbs over her hands.
"I loved you so freaking much, Freckles. It's ridiculous how much." I whispered while seeing myself in her eyes.
"Me too, Darren. You were my adorkable love." She said adorably and I chuckled softly. Then I held her tightly and I leaned my head to press it against her neck.
"Ah!" It was the only thing I could articulate. "Sometimes I really miss what we had, Freckles. Sometimes I just want to go back in time and just be with you." I admitted in all honesty.
"Sometimes I want the same." She confessed in a whisper, intertwining her fingers with mine.
My heart started beating faster as I felt a tickle in my stomach. Crap, after all of these years she still had that effect on me and she was the only one who could make me feel like that. I closed my eyes and I began to nuzzle her neck, clasping her in my arms very firmly.
"You know, this exact place is where we kissed for the very first time." I whispered while brushing her neck with my lips. "You were the one who kissed me first... And I always wondered how it'd have been if I'd been the one who kissed you first." I whispered hoarsely and then I pressed my lips on one particular spot of her neck, still with closed eyes.
She didn't answer anything but I could sense her body trembling slightly. She didn't do anything to stop me when I pressed my lips on her neck. And holy shit, I wanted so much to kiss her; it was being really hard not to do it. I was aware I wasn't allowed to kiss her, I was aware that it'd be completely wrong to kiss her; first because we were just friends, second because I had a girlfriend. Nonetheless, I thought that maybe I could kiss Freckles as long as it wasn't on her soft lips. So I began to kiss her neck and, oddly enough, she not only let me do so, but also she tilted her head to one side, as though she was giving me full permission to kiss her neck. Therefore, I pulled her closer and I placed firmly both of my hands on her waist as she raised an arm and wrapped it around my neck. I began to leave a trail of soft kisses from her jaw to her neck, alternating between kissing and sucking. I tightened my hold around her waist as she moved her fingers to the nape of my neck. I knew that kisses on the neck were her undoing; so when I sucked her neck on one particular spot near her earlobe, she moaned very softly. This made me feel really turned on and I could notice I was starting to get a hard-on. I placed my hands underneath her shirt and I began to run my hands across her warm belly, something that made her flinch and bury her fingers on the back of my head. Inevitably, I began to breathe heavily while kissing her neck, going down her collarbone while moving my hands down, right to her lower stomach, slipping one hand underneath her jeans. She shuddered again and a soft moan came out her mouth as I started to feel my dick throbbing. Shit, shit, shit, I should stop, I knew I should... But I couldn't. Instead, I made her turn around and I basically forced her to sit on my lap. I placed firmly my hands on her hips as she threw her arms around my neck. I kept kissing her neck, this time more fiercely. Dammit, I so needed her mouth right now, I really needed to feel her tongue inside me. But no, no, no, this was completely wrong. She moved her hands to my stomach and placed them underneath my shirt, something that made me shudder and made me thrust my hips against hers, letting out a little bit loud groan. When I thrust my hips, our privates touched each other and I got a full erection, so she groaned when she felt it; therefore I couldn't help dry humping her. Damn, I needed her mouth right now. I started to leave a trail of fierce kisses on her jawline and then I went directly to her mouth, but before I could kiss it, she moved her face away and suddenly stood up. I groaned in frustration and I finally opened my eyes to look at her. She was looking at me as though she was disturbed, shaking her head slowly. I huffed and I threw my head down, still feeling my dick throbbing but finally realizing what I was doing. I ran a hand over my face and I huffed again.
"I'm sorry." I stated weakly.
"I can't believe I let myself be carried away. I'm so sorry! This was so wrong! I don't want to make you cheat on February! Oh god, I am so sorry!" Freckles exclaimed troubled, placing her hands on her head and shaking it. I stood up and I placed my hands on her shoulders.
"Freckles... Don't apologize. I am the one who started kissing you and I'm sorry for that." I said softly, trying to look into her eyes. "I just... This place and all we had... I couldn't help it." I added a bit down and she finally looked at me sadly.
"I know, I felt it too. But you... You have a girlfriend." She said and looked down.
"I know." I sighed, now feeling bad for this I was doing to February. She did not deserve it.
"You have to figure out what your feelings are, Dare... Or you'd hurt February." Freckles whispered and I bit my lips, gulped and looked down, nodding slowly.
"I'm in love with February." I stated and Freckles looked at me with teary eyes and nodded with a faint smile. "But I might be in love with you too." I confessed as my heart was beating fast.
"You can't be in love with two girls, Darren." Freckles sighed.
She walked away and sat on the grass, leaning her back against the tree, so I walked towards her and sat right next to her, bending my legs and wrapping my arms around them, looking at the landscape in front of me, frowning and biting my lips... kinda feeling like crap.
"But I am." I answered after a long silence. "I'm love with February and I'm in love with you."
"Then you must make a decision, because you'll really hurt February and she's a good person. And I suggest you to stay with her and forget about me, Dare... You don't want to be with me. I am a mess." Freckles whispered, also staring the landscape.
"You were always a mess, just as me. And I fucking loved your mess. I fucking loved our messy relationship. I love you, Freckles." I said with cracked voice as few tears began to fall down my face very slowly.
I knew some tears were also streaming down her face. We remained silent for a very long time. I moved closer to her and I wrapped an arm around her as she rested her head on my shoulder and I rested my head on top of hers; both of us just watching our surroundings and shedding tears, perhaps knowing that even though we loved each other, we'd hardly be together. I was really in love with February, she made me feel emotionally fulfilled and I loved being with her. She was the one who made me believe in love again and I loved everything about her. I loved having her as my girlfriend. But I was also in love with Freckles. She was my first love and she could always make me feel happy, she could always make my heart beat fast and feel that tickle in the stomach, something that February couldn't make me feel so far. I loved the person Freckles was. Was it really possible to be in love with two girls? Yes, it was. I didn't know what I'd do... I wanted to be honest, but this was complicated. Maybe Freckles was right... Maybe I should stay with February and keep Freckles as my best friend. Maybe it was just a stage. But right now... Right now I was just enjoying being near her, holding her in my arms and feeling the warmth of her body next to me, feeling her soft skin and enjoying her smell; in this place. Our place.
"I wish I could freeze this moment, right now, right here, and live in it forever." I whispered and kissed her temple.
"Then let's do it and let's add another good memory before the farewell of our love story." Freckles responded, also in a whisper. "At least we'll end it in the same place where everything started. I think this is what we needed to do before the very final."
When she said that, I bit my lips and shed few more tears. She was right. This was the place where we should say our last goodbye to our love story, in the same place where everything started. I didn't feel bad, though, I felt moved. I knew that someday, somehow, somewhere, Freckles and I will be together again. Maybe now it wasn't the moment, but she will be forever mine as I will be forever hers. We were endgame, I was sure of it, only that not for now. But she would be with me at the end. I still had hopes. We would start a new love story.
You were again in Ann Arbor and it's been more than two weeks since you were in San Francisco. Brian's dad moved to NYC the same day you left San Francisco; he went there with Jen because Jen insisted that she had a really big house with lots of bedrooms, so George will live with Jen from now on. Brian would call Jen almost every day to check how his father was, and apparently he was doing fine and he started all the treatments. Brian was considerably better than the day he got the phone call from Dr. Moore. He decided to accept Darren's offer, so he was now living in the same apartment than Darren and Joey. However, you could barely see them. These were crazy times for everybody, and the reason of so much craziness was called 'midterm exams'. Everybody was really busy and stressed out with so many exams. Therefore, the only person you could get to see in two weeks was Meredith, only because you lived with her. You tried to see your other friends, but it was almost impossible. In two weeks, you saw Brian only one day, in the period of free time he had between college and work, that was just half an hour; and you saw him in a coffee shop. He was really busy and he had no time at all due to the fact he had to manage his time between his courses, his job and his time to study for exams. There was another problem... You could have seen him more than once because you could have gone to Darren's apartment, but you weren't allowed to do that. February was back, so you couldn't go to Darren's apartment, and that meant you couldn't see Brian, Joey and Darren. You saw Joey about three times and it was at downtown or somewhere else. And you haven't seen Darren at all. Well, you actually have seen Darren at your Costume Design course, but only in the distance because he was with February. They seemed to be fine, Darren really seemed to love her; and you were glad for it, only that you couldn't quite understand why February didn't like the idea of you talking to Darren if it was obvious that he loved her and it was obvious that Darren and you were only friends. Fortunately you didn't have time to think about this because you were studying a lot, something that kept your mind busy. It was night now and you've been all day studying, so you deserved to take a little break and then continue studying for your exam in two days. Meredith wasn't in the dorm room because she was going to spend the night with her new boyfriend, crush or fuck buddy, whatever her new love interest was, she never clarified it so well. Another complication was that the fever, the headache, the vomits and the cough returned, you were feeling sick again; you started to think that all of this happened in stressing moments and you should try to avoid them. So you were alone now and you wanted to sleep a little because you haven't been sleeping so well the last weeks; but once you were in bed, you were wide awake. You just remained staring the ceiling, wishing the midterm exams could be over already. You just needed vacation; good thing was that just in less than a week it'd be Christmas and you'd be able to rest. You closed your eyes and tried to sleep again, but your mind wouldn't stop thinking for one second about everything: exams, college, family and friends. Damn, if just there was some kind of turn off button for your mind. You lay on your stomach and buried your head on the pillow. Come on, you had to sleep a little. After a while, you began to doze and you were finally relaxing. When you were about to fall asleep, you heard how someone was knocking the door.
"Oh, no, dammit! What now?" You complained really moody.
You were not gonna open the door, but the person insisted. Shit, it was for sure the girl who lived next door and was all the time complaining because she could hear loud music coming from your door room. Well, duh, it was supposed that in this residence lived people who were into art, theatre, dance or music programs. Anyway, this time you didn't have loud music, why would she complain? The person knocked the door again. You got up and walked to the door in a really crappy mood. Who did she think she was to interrupt your sleep? Right when you were about to fall asleep after hours of trying. You opened the door, decided to start cursing; so you didn't even look at her.
"What now Maisie? Stop making a big stink and being a pain in the ass. There's no music, so stop acting like a real bitch and blow out of here now!" You yelled while frowning.
"It seems someone is steamed up." A guy responded. You looked up and you saw Darren looking at you bewildered, and maybe a little mockingly.
"Oh, I am so sorry! I thought it was that stupid..." You began to complain in a moody way again.
"That Maisie girl, whoever she is?" He asked with a mocking laughter.
"Yeah, that Maisie girl who always fucks around... Anyway, what are you doing here?" You asked suspiciously, crossing your arms and frowning. "I don't wanna get in trouble with February and all... I'm just not in mood to deal with troubles because I am super busy and all that shit..." You complained in a really surly way because you were super tired; but Darren interrupted you.
"I need you." Darren said almost desperately, looking deeply into your eyes.
"I don't want to start this conversation... You don't need me, you have February and you guys are fine, she's your girlfriend and I'm just no one special and please we already agreed we're just friends, do not start..." You began to answer.
"Freckles... Freckles..." He said to stop you, now placing one hand on your shoulder, so you stopped talking. "I didn't mean I need you in the way I need to be with you because of what I feel for you." He said and you narrowed your eyes, maybe feeling a bit awkward. "I meant I need you in the way I need to talk to someone because I had a shitty day."
"Well, you can talk to your girlfriend. Really, Darren, I'd love to listen to you; but if February finds out that you're here, she will kill me and I'm not ready to die yet." You answered and Darren sighed and looked down.
"I talked to February already, but it's not the same. She would listen to me and she would only say it'll be fine, then she'd start talking about a project she's doing, ignoring what I told her. I need someone who can give me an advice, and you were always the best at it. Please, Freckles." Darren begged, looking sadly into your eyes. You bit your lips and hesitated.
"Alright, come in." You answered, stepping aside to let him come in. You couldn't tell him to go away after the things he said; he just needed to talk.
"Thank you, Freckles." Darren voiced grateful, entering and giving you a small kiss on your cheek. You closed the door and looked at him again.
"Please, sit." You said. "Do you want coffee or something?"
"I actually brought Chinese." He said, showing you the plastic bag he had in his hand. "I thought maybe we could have dinner together while we talk."
"That's so nice. Today I haven't eaten anything at all, just lots of caffeine, so I'm kind of starving." You said while walking to the table.
Both you and Darren sat and you started eating the food he brought, in silence. You basically devoured your portion, so when you finished eating, you looked up and observed him. He barely ate his food and he was just looking down, playing with the chopsticks. Darren not eating only meant he was effectively feeling bad. You tried to see his eyes and you noticed a hint of sadness in them; it truly seemed he was concerned and afflicted for something. He just seemed to be despondent.
"What's happening, Dare?" You asked gently and he looked up and smiled faintly.
"It's about college." He sighed and looked down to play with his chopsticks again. "I've failed in Writing Musical Theatre, one of the most important courses from my point of view." He whispered and you raised your eyebrows in astonishment. There was no way he could have failed in that course. "You know what it means to me everything that is related to theatre and music. It's the most I love, and I've failed." He stated despondently. "The professor told me that my material for the musical stage was poor and basic. He told me that the popular song I had to create for the short scene was deliberately bad and shameful." He said in a distressed way, pursing his lips, still looking down. "He said he could practically hear me gritting my teeth and that my movements were unclear and lazy. He said that the spoken-word intro was just a mumbling insincerity, not believable at all and not captivating at all, and that then it was followed by a musical kryptonite of the world's least convincing song in which I was twisting my tongue on several lines, I couldn't land a joke, and that I was out of tune in several numbers. He practically said that the worst moment was every time I sang a vowel and that my acting could take away my dignity. He said I showed so little basic training and that I had no talent for this and I should consider studying another thing." He explained sadly and you thought that was a really rough and rude review. You still couldn't believe he failed in that course because he was really talented. "I failed, everything has gone wrong. Now what do I have left? What will I do? I always thought this was my thing, that this was the area where I perform best, that I could actually be good at it, but I failed." He said sorrowful, finally looking at you with a pair of sad hazel eyes.
"Dare..." You said very gently, extending your arm over the table to take one of his hands. "Just because you fail once, doesn't mean you're gonna fail at everything. Keep trying, hold on, and always, always, always believe in yourself, because if you don't, then who will, Dare?" You said sweetly, smiling at him, as he just looked down and sighed, shaking his head. "So keep your head high, keep your chin up, and most importantly, keep smiling, because life's a beautiful thing and there's so much to smile about. And, after all, I do think that our best successes often come after our biggest disappointments." You added, squeezing his hand.
"But he told me I can't do this, that I don't deserve to be here." He answered, looking at you again in a very distressed way. "How do you think I can keep smiling if he's like destroying what I always wanted? How do you think I can still doing it? Maybe I don't deserve it." He stated and his voice cracked while shrugging and looking away. You could notice his eyes filled with tears that he didn't let escape.
"Simple. Don't let anyone make you feel you don't deserve what you want and never say you don't deserve what you want. And never forget that your dreams belong only to you, then nothing and no one can take them away from you." You responded, trying to encourage him.
"You're right. But sometimes I feel frustrated because I feel like I can never get to have what I think is best for me in life, which is to be good at what I do. And I have fear, I have a lot of fear of not being able to achieve my dreams, nay, sometimes I even have fear to achieve those dreams. I have no idea how my future will be, I cannot imagine it, and that scares me." He confessed and his voice trembled. Wow, you have never seen him so pessimistic and scared. It was obvious he was feeling like crap due to the bad review from his professor.
"Well, if you cannot have the best, make the best of what you have. If you really want to do something, find a way. If not, find an excuse. And always remember, it's not how good you are, it's how good you want to be. On the other hand, if your dreams don't scare you, it's because they're not big enough." You said encouragingly while shrugging with a soft smile. Darren looked at you with bright eyes and he gave you a sad half-smile.
"I love what you're saying, but just... Try to understand. I always thought that this wasn't hard and it was never going to be complicated to me because it's what I love doing. But nothing is as I expected. This is being really difficult." He voiced dispirited.
"Well, life is difficult. Life is hard. Life is a struggle. Life is like going to school, we receive many lessons. The more we learn, the more difficult lessons are. This is a great truth, one of the greatest truths. It's a great truth because once we truly see this truth, we transcend it." You said and Darren frowned as though he couldn't understand what you were saying; so you decided to elaborate. "Once we truly know that life is difficult, once we truly understand and accept it, then life is no longer difficult. Because once is accepted, the fact that life is difficult no longer matters. And I do think that to overcome difficulties is to experience the full delight of existence." You explained and he looked down again, letting out a sigh. "Besides, opportunity stands beside you every moment, and one of its favorite disguises is that of obstacles; and opportunities to find deeper powers within ourselves come when life seems most challenging. When you stop to think about it, we have more possibilities available in each moment than we realize."
"You say it as if it were so easy and simple, but right now, the only thing I can think or feel is that I'm going down into the abyss; and I try not to be negative, but hell, it's how I feel and I can't help it! Sometimes I just want to give up on this shit." He huffed in frustration, looking down, pouting and frowning.
You observed him in silence for a while. He was never like this, he'd never say he wanted to give up on what he loved the most; so you felt kinda bad for him. The misfortune he went through really brought him down. If he was confessing such a thing it only meant he was really in despair. Now you could understand why he said he needed you to talk. He didn't need someone to tell him that 'it'll be fine' and then start talking about something completely different as February did; you couldn't believe that his girlfriend didn't support and encouraged him when he needed it the most. He just needed some kind of comfort, he just needed someone to tell him that he could do it despite the terrible things his professor said, he just needed someone to remind him that his dreams were important and he should never give up on them. So, without saying anything at all, you moved your chair next to his and you took both of his hands.
"Darren..." You whispered and he glanced at you with his sad hazel eyes. "It is by going down into the abyss that we recover the treasures of life. Where you stumble, there lies your treasure. And if there is just one piece of advice I can give you, it's this: when there's something you really want, fight for it. Don't give up no matter how hopeless it seems. And when you've lost hope, ask yourself if ten years from now, you're gonna wish you gave it just one more shot. Because the best things in life don't come free." You stated and he looked down, apparently thoughtful. "What I'm trying to say... Just don't give up trying to do what you really want to do. Where there's love and inspiration, I don't think you can go wrong and just because someone tells you that you can't do something doesn't mean you have to listen. And, after all, the greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do." You said with a tender smile, trying to find the hazel eyes.
"Yeah..." He whispered and sighed. Jeez, he was really down. "I don't know, Freckles. It's just... There are so many things. It's this problem of college, it's this thing of not being sure if it's worth it to chase my dreams, it's this thing of thinking that maybe I'd never be good at this as I thought I could be, and it's also this thing of February who doesn't let me see you and who's forcing me to leave you. I just... I don't know." He stated kind of frustrated and despondent as you looked at him afflicted. Then you had an idea.
"Would you just hold on a minute?" You asked and he frowned in confusion but shrugged and nodded.
You walked to the bedroom and looked for the ukulele he once gave you. You knew that most probably he would catch the message more effectively with a song, because that was both your and his way to express certain things. You returned to the table and you sat with a soft grin as he looked at you intrigued. You played the ukulele and then you looked up and smiled at him.
"There's a song that fits perfectly with this situation." You commented and he frowned slightly. "May I sing for you?"
"Yeah, I'd like that." He answered and you grinned sweetly as you looked at the ukulele and began to play it.
You gotta leave me now
You gotta go alone
You gotta chase a dream
One that's all your own
Before it slips away
When you're flying high
Take my heart along
I'll be the harmony
To every lonely song
That you learn to play
When you're soaring through the air
I'll be your solid ground
Take every chance you dare
I'll still be there
When you come back down
When you come back down
I keep looking up
Awaiting your return
My greatest fear will be
That you will crash and burn
And I won't feel your fire
I'll be the other hand
That always holds a line
Connecting in between
Your sweet heart and mine
I'm strung out on that wire
I'll be on the other end
To hear you when you call
Angel you were born to fly
And if you get too high
I'll catch you when you fall
Catch you when you fall
Your memory's the sunshine
Every new day brings
I know the sky is calling
Angel let me help you with your wings
When you're soaring through the air
I'll be your solid ground
Take every chance you dare
I'll still be there
When you come back down
Take every chance you dare
I'll still be there
When you come back down
When you come back down
When you finished singing, you looked at him and he was looking at you in a weird way; but you thought it was a good way; at least he was grinning slightly and his eyes were somehow a little bit teary. You put the ukulele aside and you looked deeply into his hazel eyes.
"That is one wonderful song and it's very inspiring and…" He said with a soft smile, but then he looked down and sighed, running a hand through his curls. "Freckles… I just…" He began to say sadly again, so you interrupted him before he could feel even more downhearted.
"Listen, you once told me that music is what you love, because it expresses what it cannot be said and what it's impossible to keep in silence." You said with your most peppy voice, as a way to try to cheer him up. He remained looking down, but he nodded as a response. "Then, do what you love to do. Write a song about it, expressing all you feel." You proposed cheerfully and he looked into your eyes and frowned in curiosity. Then he smiled, it was finally a nice smile.
"You're right." He whispered while looking down, very thoughtful. Then he looked at you again and grinned widely. "This is the reason why I wanted to talk to you, Freckles. You always knew how to encourage me and you always knew the way to make me feel good again, even when I think it's impossible." He said kindly and then he leaned to embrace you, resting his chin on your shoulder. "Thank you very much for showing that you care and thank you a lot for all the things you said, Freckles. But above all, thank you for knowing me so well and for believing in me." He whispered and you couldn't help grinning.
"You're welcome, silly." You responded while ruffling his curls, so he tittered.
"I miss talking to you. I just miss spending time with you." He whispered while tightening his hold.
"Same, Dare. But remember this is for your good, for your girlfriend to trust you. Eventually, everything will return to normal." You replied, though not so convinced because you were partly thinking that February was overreacting and somehow acting like a little girl. But this was something you'll never tell him.
"I'm just tired of it. I really hated these past two weeks." Darren complained with a sigh and you wouldn't opine about it. "Freckles?" He suddenly asked, parting to look into your eyes. "Do you think I could stay here tonight?" He asked and you raised your eyebrows and parted your lips, then you looked down a bit uncomfortable.
"Umm... I don't think it'll be a good idea. Seriously, if February finds out, she'll be really mad and I don't want any trouble." You answered.
"She won't find it out. She's too busy with her projects and exams... And if she happens to find it out, I'd say it was my idea and I forced you, so she won't get you into trouble." He tried to convince you, but you were really unsure. "Please, Freckles. I really hated being away from you and I just want to spend a little more time with you now that I have the chance. Just for tonight. If you want, I can leave early in the morning... But just... Please, let me stay here." He said supplicant and you bit your lips.
"Fine, just for tonight." You answered, still unsure, yet really wanting him to stay. He gave you one of his brightest smiles, so you giggled. "But I'm really tired, like really tired, so I want to go to sleep."
"Yes, I am tired too. Maybe we can go to sleep now, and we can talk in the morning." He said now very lively. You grinned because it was good to see the normal Darren again.
"Good idea. As you surely noticed, Mere is not here, so you can sleep in her bed." You stated.
"Umm... Yeah... I was thinking that maybe we could lie in bed together?" He said a bit shy and you raised an eyebrow. "I swear I won't do anything. I just want to lie next you. Just that." He quickly added.
"Okay, I trust you." You replied.
You cleaned up the table and then you tried to find some kind of sweatpants and t-shirt you could lend him to sleep. You gave him the biggest clothes you could find and then you grabbed your pajama and walked to the bathroom to change. When you left the bathroom, you found Darren sitting on your bed only in his underwear, so you couldn't help looking at him from head to toe. Fortunately he didn't notice you were like raping him with your gaze. You just made a loud noise to let him know that you were coming, so maybe he would put on some clothes or something; but he just looked at you and apparently he wasn't thinking about putting on something, as though he was not ashamed of you seeing him that way.
"Uh, Freckles... I tried to put on the sweatpants you gave me... But I guess I'm fat or you're way too thin, because they didn't fit me." He said and you nodded, always looking away. "And it's too uncomfortable to sleep with jeans... So... Umm... Do you mind if I sleep like this?"
"Umm..." You babbled awkwardly.
"It's not gonna be the first time... Besides... You already saw me completely naked. So..." He said and you blushed slightly, remembering the night in the hotel room.
"Darren..." You pointed out as a way to let him know that he was saying uncomfortable things.
"I'm sorry. Just... I really tried to make the sweatpants fit, but I didn't get it." He said, now feeling a bit ashamed.
"Okay, it's alright... I don't mind." You said and you walked to the bed, without looking at him.
You lay down in bed and when you found a comfortable position, Darren lay right next to you, covering both of you with the blankets. Right after that, you noticed how he turned on his side to look at you, even if you were giving him your back. He moved closer to you and you felt how he enfolded an arm around you, placing his hand on your stomach; you also noticed he rested his head on the back of yours. You felt strained at first, but then you relaxed because, to be honest, you enjoyed being like this with him. Just huddling with someone was nice. You closed your eyes and smiled.
"Goodnight, Freckles." You heard his voice before he kissed your shoulder.
Next morning I woke up next to Freckles. I was cuddling up with her and she was letting me do so. She was fast asleep, but I couldn't sleep anymore; so I just closed my eyes and I moved even a little closer, brushing the nape of her neck with my nose. I remained like this for a while, smelling her perfume and running my fingers through her arm. Then I gave her a buss on the nape of her neck and I got up as she was still fast asleep. I thought I could make breakfast for her, to thank her for listening to me, for letting me stay the night here and to make her start a good day, because I knew she had to continue studying for exams. I walked to the kitchenette and I grabbed the jar of instant coffee. I made coffee for two and I filled a bowl with chocolate biscuits she had, placing all of that on the table. Also, I thought it could be cool to start the morning with music, so I saw what music she had and I chose one cd that seemed to be a compilation of diverse artists. When everything was ready, I walked to her bed and I saw she was now occupying the whole bed. I sat on the edge of the bed and I placed a hand on her shoulder to softly shake it. She grouched and frowned, still with her eyes closed and I chuckled softly. Typical. I leaned so that I could whisper in her ear.
"It's time to wake up, sleepyhead." I whispered and she babbled incoherent words. "I know I said I'd leave early in the morning, but I thought it'd be great if we have breakfast together."
"Get out of here and let me sleep." Freckles mumbled and I laughed.
"Come on, breakfast is already ready." I whispered and I fondled her cheek.
"Get out." She demanded hoarsely, frowning and shutting her eyes strongly.
"I swear I tried to be all nice and sweet, but get the fuck up because the breakfast is gonna get cold and you have to study, so you better open your eyes right now or I'm gonna drop a glass of water on your face!" I said very loudly, yet biting my tongue not to laugh. Freckles opened her eyes and looked at me with sleepy but disturbed eyes, frowning.
"How rude! Is this your way to wake someone up?" She asked with husky voice with sleep. "Stupid ass!" She groaned and hit my face with the pillow.
"Hey!" I exclaimed, snatching the pillow to hit her head with it while laughing.
"Hey, no, stop!" She complained, burying her head on the mattress and covering the back of her head with her arms.
"Get up, Freckles!" I demanded loudly.
"Fuck off, Darren!" She responded with muffled voice.
"Uh-oh! Wrong answer!" I exclaimed and I leaned to start tickling her waist. She started to shrink and throw kicks on the air while laughing out loud.
"No, stop!" She tried to articulate while laughing. Then she finally managed to sit on bed and pounced on me, making me fall on the floor. She sat on top of me and now she began to tickle me. "Do not mess with me, Criss!" She voiced while I was sniggering loudly.
"Okay, I surrender!" I exclaimed in between giggles.
When she stopped tickling me and right in the second she looked away to recover her breathe, I took her by the waist and I rolled, so she was now lying on the floor and I was on top of her, smirking mischievously.
"You are crushing me! I can barely breathe! I'm gonna die!" She exclaimed dramatically, so I snickered; yet I remained like that.
"Who will be a good girl now, eh?" I asked with that impish smirk.
"I will!" She answered with muffled voice, pretending to be out of breath.
"Who will get up and have breakfast without complaining?" I asked.
"I will!" She responded, again pretending to be dying.
"Who will give me a good morning kiss?" I asked while turning my face to give her my cheek.
"Argh! Get out of here, idiot!" She answered, now trying to push me away.
"Wrong answer!" I exclaimed while holding her even tighter, and then I began to tickle her again.
"Okay, okay! I will do it, just stop!" She laughed and I stopped, bit my lips in amusement and moved my cheek closer to her mouth. She kissed it quickly and lazily, so I began to tickle her again. "Hey no, no, stop! Fine, fine! I'll give you another kiss!" She giggled and I stopped so she kissed my cheek again, this time it was a noisy kiss. "Is that one fine, Mr. I-am-not-satisfied-with-anything?" She asked while chuckling and I just leaned and kissed her cheek.
"That was just fine. Not great, just acceptable." I responded and I finally stood up, freeing her.
Freckles stood up and stood on tiptoe to give me a buss on the cheek before she headed to the bathroom. I walked to the table and I waited for her. After what seemed hours, she finally came out the bathroom and sat in front of me.
"Aw, this is so sweet, Dare! Thank you." She said cheerfully, grabbing her mug of coffee. "After all, it isn't so bad the fact you didn't go early in the morning." She joked.
"Hey! You really wanted me to leave?" I asked playfully and she shrugged while sipping her coffee. "What a terrible person!" I exclaimed dramatically, placing my hands on my heart, so she chuckled. "Anyway, you know what? If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun."
"True that." She agreed while nodding.
We had breakfast and she wouldn't stop talking about random things. For the first time, I wasn't feeling like talking, I didn't interrupt her in any moment and I didn't say anything. I just remained listening to her, seeing her very intently; enjoying her voice, her smile and her bright eyes. She was really joyful and she wouldn't stop laughing. I was now resting my elbow on the table and propping my head on one hand, looking fixedly at her and listening to her talking about the dream she had last night. I was smiling and just thinking that she was adorable. I really wished I could stay all day long with her. Now we both were in silence, but not an awkward one. I began to remember the conversation we had last night, all the nice and encouraging things she told me, all the support she gave me, the way we slept in the same bed and nothing happened but felt nice, the way we played in the morning as two little kids, the way she was so cheerful now and all the things she was saying in between giggles and smiles.
"You know?" I suddenly asked and I looked up to see her eyes. "I love those kinds of days that turn out unexpectedly good, great, and sometimes just all out amazing just because you didn't really expect anything to happen at all." I stated with a bright grin. "If only we could live just like that, with no expectations in mind. It's possible we'd be much happier, with more memorable moments that would last us a lifetime." I said while looking deeply into her eyes as I noticed how a big smile spread across her face.
"Yes, the best days are when you don't need anything extreme or special to happen to make it great. You just appreciate and enjoy what is and that's perfect enough." She replied, still with that merry grin.
"Like last night, and even like this current moment." I added and she grinned and nodded. "We're not doing anything special, we're just here, talking and nothing else; yet this is a great moment. At least it is for me." I said while shrugging.
"Same here." She replied and her response made me smile widely.
We talked a little more and damn, I really missed doing this with her, just talking to her and chilling with her could make me feel hugely good. I was about to propose her to take the day free and allow herself not to study today so we could spend the day together, but my phone buzzed.
From Joey: Dude, I don't know where you are, but you really wanna come here. February is here and she and Brian are about to kill each other.
To Joey: What the devil is going on?
From Joey: Just come asap. I just left the apartment because I was afraid of being killed or something.
Alright, that was weird. February and Brian were good friends, they always got along and they've been friends since last year. Why would they want to kill each other? Besides, Brian was not one of those guys who used to get so mad to the point of wanting to kill someone. Of course I knew it wasn't literal, but they surely were having a rough dispute, which was weird. A dispute about what? And why was February at my apartment if she didn't let me know she was going? I looked up at Freckles and I gave her a half-smile as she frowned slightly.
"Is there something wrong, Dare?" She asked softly.
"Uh, well... Just some kind of problem going on at my apartment. I wish I could stay here, but I really gotta push off now." I answered and she nodded.
"It's okay, I have to study anyway." Freckles said while standing up as I did the same. "I hope everything goes right, whatever is happening." She said and embraced me gently.
"Thanks, Freckles. Later I'll let you know if everything is alright." I said and we parted. She walked me to the door, and before leaving, I kissed her cheek. "Thank you for everything, Freckles. For real, you helped me a lot."
"You're welcome, Darren. If you feel bad again, we could always plan a secret meeting, so don't worry." She replied kindly and I smiled at her.
"Thanks, same goes for you. I hope to see you soon. Bye, Freckles." I said and kissed her cheek again.
Dammit, I really wanted to stay with her. But I stepped outside and Freckles closed the door. I walked to the bus stop as fast as possible and I took the bus to go to downtown. Once there, I walked to my apartment, thinking about the hundreds of possibilities of why Brian and February could be arguing; truth was there weren't so many possibilities; it was hard for Brian to get really angry about something, so it wasn't certainly a silly thing what was happening. And the bastard of Joey who left the apartment. When I arrived to the apartment, I heard screaming. This wasn't a good sign. I opened the door very slowly, trying not to make any noise because I didn't want them to see me; first I wanted to know what they were arguing about. I saw February and Brian in the kitchen, face to face, yelling at each other. From the point I was standing, I only could see Brian's face, but he couldn't see me. His face was red with anger.
"No, it's not fair! It's not fair because..." Brian yelled.
"Yes, it is fair! You don't know anything so..." February screamed furiously.
"I am talking, so don't interrupt me! You are constantly interrupting me and I want you to listen to me, so shut up!" Brian pointed out with a yell, in a very irked way.
"Who do you think you are to make me shut up, idiot?" February questioned madly.
"I am one of the people who live in this apartment, so I'm in all my rights to tell you what I want! I thought we were mature enough to have a civilized and quiet conversation, but with you it's impossible! So yeah, here I am, forcing you to shut up! So now close your mouth and listen to me!" He yelled rabidly, provocatively pointing her with his forefinger.
"What is your fucking problem, eh?" February said darkly, stepping closer as though she was challenging him.
"My fucking problem is that I'm tired of your shit and your childish behavior!" He answered in a wrathful way. Whoa. Why would he say that? "I don't know what your trust issue with Darren is and I don't even want to meddle because it's not my business. I wouldn't meddle with your methods of trying to do whatever you're trying to do to trust him, because it is your thing... But I'm meddling because what you're doing not only affects Darren and you, but also affects me and it affects Joey as well. This stupid thing of you not allowing Darren to see Sunny is the biggest bullshit I have ever heard! For starters, I don't even know why you think they can't be friends and although you're his girlfriend, you should not be one to tell Darren with who he can be friends with or not, that's stupid, childish and selfish... But whatever, it is not my business!" Brian yelled, as his face was reddening with anger. Jeez, man... Brian couldn't have said it better. I was surprised that he was saying that, though. "Point is that your stupid obsession of not allowing him to see her is affecting other people, and when that happens, it only means that you're doing everything wrong! Thanks to your stupid decision, Joey and I aren't able to see our friend! I want to see her, I want to invite her to come over and have dinner here because it is in the only moment I can see her, but I can't because you think you have the rights to decide who we can invite here or not, because you think this apartment belongs only to Darren, so he cannot invite Sunny here, because Sunny is not allowed to be here." He yelled madly, with a hint of sarcasm. I think I never saw him so furious. "And this is my apartment too! Here is where I live! So I'm in all rights to invite whoever I want! So I want you to know that I don't care what shit you agreed with Darren; as a person who lives in this apartment, I'll invite her the fucking times I want, because I want her to come over, because I want to see her, because I want to have dinner with her, because I want her to spend a night here as we used to do before you made that stupid decision of not allowing it! Who do you think you are to decide who we can invite or not in this apartment? You don't live here, so you have no rights! And if you don't like it, well, deal with it! Go the fuck away when she is here if you want! But I won't stop seeing her because you said so." Brian yelled rabidly. He was right, man. "And next time you call her a whore, I'll fucking slap you, I don't care if you're a girl. Next time you say something like that, I'll be the one who is not gonna allow you to come here." He threatened. Wow. That was... kind of rough. "There are rules, February; there are basic rules of coexistence and respect. There are things you have to respect. Your freedom and rights end where the other's freedom and rights begin. And you're not doing that. Start behaving the way you must and stop thinking you can control everything and that you are one to do whatever you want, whenever and wherever you want. You must learn that you're not the only person living in this world; start thinking more about other people." He said furiously, looking fixedly into her eyes.
"Let me clarify you something, Brian..." February started saying in a provocatively defiant way, stepping closer, as he was looking furiously at her. "Maybe I don't have the rights to decide what you can do or not in this apartment because I don't live here; but Darren has those rights and he's the one who is not allowing your stupid love to come over." She said coldly and I began to feel irked. That was not true at all. "Yes, maybe I was the one who told him that I did not want to see her with him and that I didn't want her to be here; but I wasn't the one who stood here and proclaimed that she couldn't come, Darren did so; because I was aware I couldn't decide anything in this apartment." She added and I dropped my jaw. I couldn't believe she was saying that! I was feeling like I was ambushed. "I knew I didn't have rights to decide something in here. But you... How can you say that you have rights in this apartment? You're living here for free, you're not paying anything at all, you don't contribute in anything; so you must adapt to what Joey or Darren tell you to do; that is the least you can do to be thankful for what they're doing for you. You have no rights to decide anything because if you're living here is because you're poor so they are making you a favor. This is not your apartment. There are things you have to respect, Brian. And you must learn not to proclaim things as your own, like this apartment... Because you don't even have money to pay at least for the bathroom of this apartment. You should start being thankful because you have a place where to sleep and you have people who are paying for the food you eat day by day; and you should stop complaining. So, if you want to see that stupid girl, you better return to that dump where you lived and where you belong; because here you won't be allowed to see her, because Darren said so." February said vilely.
I was looking at her completely aghast, with eyes wide open and lips parted. How could she say something as rude and mean as that? Who was that girl talking that way? That wasn't my girlfriend. February was not like that. And none of what she said was true. I turned my gaze to Brian. He was looking at her very serious, biting his lips and frowning as though he was mad; but I knew he wasn't feeling angry, instead he was feeling ashamed and distressed. He was being humiliated.
"It's funny how you're all the time playing to be the victim, playing to be the poor guy who's going through real shit and whose life is miserable only to make people feel pity for you and that way get whatever you want. And let me tell you something, Brian. I don't feel pity for what it's happening to you. You won't make me think that you have rights in this apartment and that you're free to do whatever you want in here, only because I am supposed to be compassionate and allow you to do things for the purpose of making you feel good because you, the poor guy, is going through a so very terrible moment. You won't make me do whatever you want only because your father is dying." She said rudely.
I literally dropped my jaw. What the fuck was that? How could she have said something like that? This was over the top. I looked at Brian and I saw how he tensed his jaw and looked down in an afflicted way.
"That was highly offensive and cruel, February." I voiced and my voice kind of echoed.
Both Brian and February looked at me abruptly. Brian looked down again, but February remained looking at me kind of jittery. Of course, she was caught. She wasn't expecting me to be there. I walked towards her, without taking my eyes off her, looking at her extremely disappointed. I tilted my head and I shook it slowly, narrowing my eyes and frowning in disbelief.
"How the heck could you have said all of that?" I asked and she just gulped and looked down. "Brian lives here. He is owner of this apartment as same as Joey and me. He has exactly the same rights that Joey and I have, unlike you. Yes, maybe he is not paying, but because Joey and I insisted. Do you really think he wants to live here without paying anything? If you knew him, as it seems you don't, you'd know he'd do whatever to contribute his part. But Joey and I forced him not to pay anything at all and use his money on his father's therapy and meds, someone who really needs it. It was hard to convince him so, but we finally agreed. He is contributing in other ways and he is constantly contributing; therefore, if you don't have any idea of how things work here, you better shut the fuck up and you better stop assuming shit. Brian can do the shit he wants in this apartment because this is his apartment; so if he wants to invite someone, he can do it, if he wants to kick someone out, he can do it, he just can do whatever he wants and he always respects others, unlike you." I pointed out, painfully slowly, looking fixedly at her, who was looking down, apparently a bit ashamed. Brian was also looking down, but he was biting his lower lip as if he was still hurt for February's words. "And how can you say so many cruel things? Who are you? How can you mock all of the things that are happening to Brian and his dad? Do you even have a heart? Or is that you only care about yourself? I'm starting to think you only care about yourself, about your life, your projects, your happiness, your trust issues, and all your shit in general. It's good to care about oneself, just as long as you don't fuck up with other people's feelings and lives. And you're exceeding the limit, February, you're starting to fuck up with people and that is not cool, it's the opposite, it's disgusting." I voiced in a disgruntled way, looking at her as though I didn't know her anymore as I noticed how her eyes began to fill with tears. Yet that wouldn't stop me, I was really upset and disappointed. "One last thing… Brian, you can invite Freckles all the times you want; you can even invite her to spend the night here." I said while looking at Brian, who glanced at me and gave me a sad half-smile, then looked away. I turned my gaze to February. "February, if you don't like it, deal with it. If you can't stand Freckles, then go away when she is here. This is my apartment, this is Joey's apartment and this is Brian's apartment; we all are friends with Freckles and we all want to spend time with her; so she will start visiting us again, because that's what the three of us want. I don't care if you don't like this idea. I just don't care what you think from now on. I regret so fucking much to have decided to help and support you; I never wanted to stay away from Freckles; but I did it only because I thought you were different." I stated firmly, hating myself for doing this stupid thing she asked me to do with Freckles. "Listen up, very clearly, from this day on Freckles is allowed to come here whenever she wants and whenever we want. Now, you don't have any kind of right in here, you can't decide absolutely anything in here, because you don't live here." I clarified with clear voice, in a very resolute way as her lips began to quiver and some tears escaped the corner of her eyes to run down her face. "I swear I tried to support you, I swear I tried to do everything for you because I loved you… But it turns out you're not the person I thought you were. Brian was right… Your behavior is childish… And I don't want to deal with a capricious little girl." I stated almost contemptuously and feeling somewhat spleenful.
February finally looked up and I saw her big blue eyes full of tears. Yeah, I wouldn't lie, it was kinda sad to see her like that, but I couldn't help it. She hurt Brian and she told him too many cruel things, and she also hurt me and hurt Freckles when she said she didn't want us to spend time together; and with this decision she also hurt Joey and Brian. So maybe she deserved to hear all I was saying. Yet, I wouldn't deny I was feeling bad, because, despite everything, I loved her and she was the one girl who made me feel happy after Freckles. But this was a totally bad moment and I wasn't feeling like talking to her anymore. Consequently, I sighed and I looked at her severely.
"Now leave our apartment, February. Just go the fuck away." I demanded determined, tensing my jaw, without taking my eyes off her as she broke into tears.
"No, please, I am so sorry." She articulated in between the tears, covering her face with both hands. I had to look away to avoid regretting my decision.
"I'm sorry, you have to go." I said resolute, still looking away and tensing my jaw.
"What I said was wrong, but it was just because I was having a busy day and I wanted to see you and you weren't here, so..." She began to explain with choked voice, but I interrupted.
"That is not a reason to have said the things you said. You pushed the envelope, February." I stated firmly.
"I know! I know, Darren. I'm sorry for what I said and I'm sorry for the way I've been behaving. That... That wasn't me. I am not a bad person. Please." She sobbed and I bit my lips.
I couldn't look at her right now and in my attempt to look away, I saw Brian. He was looking at February in a sad way, as though he was feeling pity for her. After all the things she said to him, how could he look at her that way?
"Darren..." Brian whispered and I looked at him. "She's not a bad person. She's actually an extraordinary person. If she said all of those things, it's just because I provoked her. Although I knew she wasn't having a good day, I began this dispute because I was upset. I am the one who started; it's my fault." He said with a sigh, looking down.
I looked at him incredulous as February was looking at him astounded, frowning and shaking her head, still shedding tears. Seriously? After all the things February told him he was saying something like that? Why did he always do the same? Sometimes I just couldn't understand him. He was so good that sometimes it was negative because all people would tell him hurtful things and they wouldn't mind because they knew he would forgive them and give them a second chance. And I knew that was a lie. I knew he was blaming himself only not to see me and her arguing. So, let's see if she could be brave enough to say it wasn't like that, or if she just confirmed what Brian said only not to face this problem.
"Is that true, February?" I asked gently, now looking piercingly into her eyes. She looked down, bit her lips and twiddled a strand of her hair.
"No, it is not." She responded and I raised my eyebrows.
Well, she really surprised me; I wasn't expecting her to be brave to face this. I glanced at Brian and he sighed and looked down. Then I looked at February and she was already looking at me with a pair of distressed blue eyes.
"You shouldn't defend me after what I told you, Brian." She said looking at him sadly. Brian just remained looking down. "I'm so sorry for what I said. I was just out of myself and I said a bunch of untrue and cruel things which should have never been said because you're the most kind-hearted person I know. I sincerely apologize." She said and it sounded honest. He looked at her and nodded. Then she looked at me. "Darren, Brian was just being nice as always, he was just trying to make me look like the good person, when I'm certainly anything but." She stated and, again, I raised my eyebrows in surprise. She was admitting it and that was remarkable. "Yes, he started with this, but he started it as a conversation, a quiet one. I was the one who started yelling at him because I didn't like what he was saying. He was just asking me to try to understand him because he wanted to spend time with his friend in the only free time he has, that is at night, in here." She explained and I glanced at Brian, who was still looking away. "I know I can't decide who you can invite or not, and I know Brian has the same rights as you and Joey; yet he was trying to come to some agreement in which I could spend time with you and he could spend time with his friend that I don't want to see in order to not make anyone feel uncomfortable. He was consulting with me, even if he shouldn't because he is free to do what he wants in here, only because he respected me and I did not. Considering this, it wasn't his fault, it was my fault." She admitted firmly and I nodded, looking at her astonished. "In addition to this, he was not provoking me. On the contrary, he was all the time trying to calm me down and get to have a quiet conversation; notwithstanding, I did not listen to him and I yelled and treated him like crap." She said and I nodded as Brian was shaking his head. "All in all, I guess I am not an extraordinary person as Brian stated. Maybe I used to be one, but lately it seems I can be anything but. I'm being selfish, moody and spiteful; I'm trying people like crap even if they don't deserve it, I'm hurting people because I think too much about myself, and I'm making bad decisions. I don't even know what's happening to me, but I don't like this kind of person I became." She said and her voice cracked as she looked down to shed few tears that she wiped away. She took a deep breath and then she looked at me and Brian. "Owing to this, I apologize to you and Brian." She apologized and she sounded absolutely sincere. "Now I can really leave. I just... I'll make sure not to cause more trouble. So... I hope you have a good day. See you around, maybe." She announced with choked voice, shedding more tears.
None of us said something else. February turned around, grabbed her satchel and walked to the front door. Without even looking at us and without saying something else, she headed outside, closing the door behind her. I was a little bit shocked to do something. She was honest and she admitted her mistakes, but I still couldn't believe she was so cruel to say the things she said to Brian. I was looking at the door, but I noticed Brian was looking at me.
"She faced this situation, she admitted her mistakes and she apologized. I think she deserves being forgiven. I know you may be feeling offended, but she was honest. She was always a good person, and from my own experience, if she's lately acting weird is because there's something that is stressing her out or saddening her but she is too afraid to tell someone her problems, so she just vents out with the closest people she knows. She may need you and your support, but she'd not ask you for it because she doesn't want to be a bother. I noticed it because I've been there too. Only a hug would be enough, buddy." He said and patted my shoulder. I glanced at him and he grinned encouragingly. "Don't let her go. She may still be near here." He said and then he walked to his bedroom.
I stood there, hesitating about what I should do. Maybe Brian was right. Maybe something was happening to her that was causing her to act so weird, because she wasn't like this before she went to her hometown. I shook my head and I ran to the front door. I headed outside and I looked around. In the distance, about two blocks away, February was walking alone. I ran towards her as fast as possible and when I was close enough, I took her by the elbow to stop her. She turned around kind of startled and when she saw me, she just pouted and her blue eyes filled with tears again. I just pulled her into a very tight hug. She rested her head on my chest and enfolded her arms around me as I began to feel her tears on my chest. I just rubbed her back and stroked her hair in complete silence. After a while, when she got to calm down a little, I parted to look at her straight in the eyes.
"Talk to me. Tell me what's happening to you. I want to help you, love." I said very gently, placing both hands on her cheeks as she looked at me with a pair of teary and sad eyes.
"I don't want to bother you." She responded, looking down.
"Love, you are my girlfriend. You'd never be a bother. I want to be with you through thick and thin. Let me help you and let me make you happy. Please, talk to me." I begged while caressing her cheeks with my thumbs as she sobbed.
"Can we just go somewhere else?" She asked shyly.
"Sure, I invite you a coffee." I answered and I held her hand.
We walked holding hands to the nearest coffee shop. We found a table and I ordered two coffees. We remained silent with our coffees in hands for a while. It seemed she didn't know how to start talking to me; it seemed she was ashamed to do so. I was just observing her curiously, now I could notice what Brian was talking about, there was indeed something that was saddening her. I extended my arm on the table and I took her hand as she looked up at me; I smiled sweetly and she gave me a half-smile.
"You can talk to me, love." I voiced kindly and she nodded.
"There's a reason why I'm acting this weird way; even if I said I didn't know why, I know why." She began to say and she turned her gaze to her coffee mug. "When I went to Seattle, I saw my ex." She confessed and I gasped.
Could she have cheated on me? That was why she was acting weird? Or maybe she realized she was still in love with her ex so that she didn't want to be with me. I didn't like either of them. I tried to remain calm, though. So I swallowed and I nodded, still trying to look into her eyes.
"I don't know how he found out I was going there, but he went to the airport to pick me up. And I went with him." She said and this time I frowned, pursed my lips and looked down. She cheated on me, for sure. "He drove to his new apartment, where he currently lives. He dropped out college. And I stayed in his apartment." She kept saying and now I was looking away, feeling like crap. "We had dinner together, we drank some wine, and we talked a lot. Then he began to flirt with me, he was kind of drunk." She said and I bit my lips. Man, what was this shit? "He said he missed me, that his biggest mistake was to break-up with me, that he wanted me back because he loved me. And I was feeling weird..." She confessed and looked away, a bit ashamed. I moved my hand away from hers and I frowned. Why? Why would she cheat on me? "He was always my weakness. I loved him so much." She whispered and then she remained silent.
"You cheated on me with your ex, didn't you?" I asked, not being able to look into her eyes.
"No, I didn't." She answered and I looked at her confused, yet a bit more relieved. "I won't deny that I felt tempted, I felt attracted to him... But there was a moment... He was caressing me and it didn't feel the same as it used to feel. In that moment I remembered all I've been through with him, all we shared and all the pain he caused me... Then you popped in my mind. You, with your charm and kindness, you and the way you looked at me the first time you told me you love me. Then I thought... What kind of idiot would I be if I let go an incredible person as you are and change you for the asshole of my ex who only wanted to get laid with me because he was drunk?" She said and I looked fixedly into her eyes as she was giving me a small grin. "I stopped him. I told him I didn't want him, that I didn't love him, that he was just part of my past and that now I was happy with other guy, someone I truly loved and who loved me back. A boyfriend who was making me feel like a woman, like a worthwhile person; unlike the way he always made me feel. So I told him to stay away from me because I didn't want to waste any single second with him. And I felt great." She said smiling and I smiled back, now feeling really relieved and also feeling good. But then she looked down and her gaze darkened, so I frowned in confusion. When her eyes filled with tears and her mouth started quivering, I began to feel worried.
"What happened, Feb?" I asked suspiciously.
"He was drunk... And he was always an aggressive person..." She articulated with chocked and trembling voice before she began to sob silently. I took one of her hands and I looked at her really concerned.
"Feb... Tell me what happened. What did he do?" I asked and my voice kinda trembled.
"I tried to stop him... But he's stronger than me..." She said and I began to imagine the worst. Man, I was super edgy right now.
"Feb, tell me what he did." I requested gently.
She shook her head and covered her face to cry. No, fuck, no. I stood up and I walked right next to her. I made her stand up and I sat on her chair to then make her sit on my lap as I enfolded my arms around her and she buried her face on my shoulder, throwing her arms around my neck. I rubbed her back to reassure her as I was thinking what the hell that asshole could have done to her.
"Feb, did he touch you?" I asked in a whisper and she wailed and nodded. I could swear my heart skipped a beat in that moment. There were only two options and none of them were good. "Did he hit you?" I asked and she shook her head, so I felt even worse. I closed my eyes and bit my lips. "Did he sexually abused you?" I asked and my voice trembled.
She whimpered and nodded before crying her heart out. My heart sank when she nodded as an affirmative response. I bit strongly my lips and I held her very tightly, stroking her hair to reassure her. Fuck, man. That fucking douchebag.
"Oh, Feb." I whispered as I kissed her temple and she kept weeping. "You should have told me. I'm gonna find that asshole and I'm gonna make him pay." I said and she shook her head.
"My parents... They..." She sobbed and I ran my fingers through her hair to reassure her, so she could talk. "He's imprisoned now." She said and I nodded.
"Calm down, love. You're safe now and I won't let this happen again. I'm sorry I couldn't be there. I am so sorry." I whispered and my voice cracked. Dammit, how could this have happened? Why?
"No, I am sorry." She whispered and parted. She wiped her tears away and looked at me with puffy eyes. I just frowned. She shouldn't be sorry... What for? "After... After he abused me... He... He told me I was a... slut. He told me no one would really want to be with a slut and that soon you would change me for a better girl, because I was worthless and I was disgusting... He said... No one would ever love me. And... And I am so sorry!" She cried and I looked at her afflicted.
"Love, you know that's not true at all." I replied gently, running a thumb on her cheek.
"I don't know... In that moment... In that moment I thought it was like that. And... And I'm sorry! I never... I made so many bad decisions... I just..." She stammered while sobbing, so I fondled her cheek and I wiped her tears away. "I thought he was right. I really thought you'd change me for a better girl because I was worthless and no one would love me for real... So... I... I was feeling so bad and I... I never wanted you to stop seeing your ex! I really never wanted you to stop being friends with her! I never wanted to be so possessive and so mean! I was just feeling insecure and I thought you'd want to be with her rather than with me because she is a lovely person! I am so sorry I hurt you and I hurt so many people. I just didn't know what to do. I never believed you'd betray me with her, I never believed you'd cheat on me; but I was afraid, and I was sick in my heart that you might look at her, then at me; and regret." She cried heartbreakingly, covering her face with both hands.
I suddenly felt terrible for being mad at her for not allowing me seeing Freckles. I took both of her hands in mine and I leaned to find her eyes. When she looked at me and I smiled fondly.
"I understand, love. Don't apologize, I get it, and it's fine." I said and then I leaned to kiss her mouth in a very tender way. "I love you, Feb." I whispered in front of her lips and then I kissed them again, placing a hand on her cheek. "I love you so much." I whispered and pecked her lips before fondling her cheek. "You're not worthless. You're beautiful and so lovely. I'm in love with you and I'm a lucky one to have you as a girlfriend; I'll never regret it. I want you to remember it, okay?" I said sweetly and she nodded while shedding few tears. "No one will hurt you again, I promise." I said and I embraced her again.
"Thank you. Thank you so much, Darren." She whispered in my ear with choked voice. "I love you."
"I love you too." I said fondly and then I parted to kiss her forehead. "Let's go to my apartment. I'd like if you stay this night." I said with a tender smile and she shook her head.
"Thanks... But no, I have... I have to do something else." She responded and I frowned in confusion. "Maybe tomorrow." She said and I nodded. "And Darren... You... You can see Freckles again. You can invite her and you can just spend time with her, you can even invite her to spend the night at your apartment or just do whatever you want to do with her; and I not necessarily have to be with you when you're with her. I should have never doubted of you. I'm sorry for that; I know you're just friends."
"Feb, I won't see her if that makes you feel bad. I don't mind." I replied and she shook her head.
"It won't make me feel bad. It makes me feel bad that I forced you to be away from her. So I want you to see her. She's your friend and you need her just as she needs you. I trust you, so promise you'll spend time with her." She requested, looking into my eyes.
"I promise." I whispered with a kind smile and then I leaned to peck her lips.
It was already night and all you've been doing was to study just as soon as Darren left your dorm room. Meredith returned just few hours ago and she offered to take you a lesson of art history, an offer you accepted because you were feeling like, although you studied like crazy, you couldn't remember anything at all, as if you've never read something at all. So now she was standing with your books as she was your professor while you were sitting and feeling like your head was about to explode.
"Give me one short definition of art history." Meredith requested. Dammit.
"Umm..." You hesitated. "Art history as we know it in the 21st century began in the 19th century but has precedents dating to the ancient world. Like the analysis of historical trends in politics, literature, and the sciences, the discipline benefits from the clarity and portability of the written word, but art historians also rely on formal analysis, semiotics, psychoanalysis and iconography. Advances in photographic reproduction and printing techniques after World War II increased the ability of reproductions of artworks. Such technologies have helped to advance the discipline in profound ways, as they have enabled easy comparisons of objects. The study of visual art thus described, can be a practice that involves understanding context, form, and social significance." You responded with conviction.
"Good." She stated and you smiled proudly. "Which is one branch of study of art history?" Meredith asked and you pursed your lips and thought about a coherent answer. You knew that one.
"One branch of this area of study is aesthetics, which includes investigating the enigma of the sublime and determining the essence of beauty." You answered and Meredith nodded. Yes! You got it!
"Tell me one of the methods in art historians' research into the qualities, nature and history of objects." She requested and you bit your lips and frowned.
"Art historians often examine work in the context of its time. At best, this is done in a manner which respects its creator's motivations and imperatives; with consideration of the desires and prejudices of its patrons and sponsors; with a comparative analysis of themes and approaches of the creator's colleagues and teachers; and with consideration of iconography and symbolism. In short, this approach examines the work of art in the context of the world within which it was created." You responded very determined.
"That's correct." She replied and, again, you smiled proudly. "Tell me about Modernism."
"Uh... Modernism, the idealistic search for truth, and progress, gave way in the latter decades of the 20th century to a realization of its unattainability. Relativity was accepted as an unavoidable truth, which led to the Postmodern period, where cultures of the world and of history are seen as changing forms, which can be appreciated and drawn from only with irony. Furthermore the separation of cultures is increasingly blurred and it is now more appropriate to think in terms of a global culture, rather than regional cultures." You responded and she nodded.
"A valid answer." She said and now you were feeling more relieved because you could remember what you studied. "Tell me about African Art." She requested and you shot her a withering look. Not that one. You didn't know that one.
"Ah... Umm... Well... Err... The long story of African Art includes both high sculpture, perhaps typified by the brass castings of the Benin people, as well as folk art." You answered and Meredith just looked at you.
"That's correct, but the explanation is kinda vague." Meredith replied and you nodded and sighed in frustration. You wouldn't pass this course. "Hey, you! You answered everything perfectly! You're gonna get a high score, I'm sure; you're really smart. You only have to study more about African Art, that's all, Freckles!" She encouraged and you nodded.
"Yeah... I don't know. The exam is the day after tomorrow." You responded kind of worried.
"Ah! You have time, Freckles! Look at you; you studied all this shit..." She said showing you your super long book. "In only two days! Who does that? Only you! And look at you! You got all the answers right! So stop worrying too much, Freckles. You'll totally pass this course." She encouraged again and you grinned grateful for this.
You were about to say something, but someone knocked the door. Maybe it was the food that Meredith and you ordered. She asked you to open the door because she had to go pee. When Meredith went to the bathroom, you headed to the door with your wallet. When you opened the door, you didn't see the delivery boy. It was February. Oh no. No, damn, no. She surely found out that Darren was here last night and this morning and she was here to blow a fuss over this and you certainly weren't in mood for something like this. You sighed and dropped your head.
"Hi." She greeted.
"Hi, February." You said kind of annoyed already. "Before you start saying something, I just want to say that I am really busy and I have an exam on Monday, so I really don't want to have any kind of argument because I'm already too stressed out and I need to be psyched up for the exam. If you want to argue about something, can we please leave it for later?" You asked kind of resigned and already starting to feel stressed over this. You looked at her and you noticed she was frowning slightly.
"I... I didn't come to argue." She responded softly and this time it was you the one who frowned.
"You didn't come here to complain because Darren was here?" You asked suspiciously.
"Darren was here? I didn't know that…" She answered and you bit you lips and gulped. You totally screwed it. But, oddly enough, she seemed to be calm, as though she didn't mind this. There was something suspicious. "It's fine, though, I don't mind." She said gently and you narrowed your eyes in suspicion. This was weird. "I actually... Umm... I brought you something." She said and then looked for something in her satchel while you were looking at her with suspicion. She pulled out a little box and handed it to you with a faint grin. "It's for you, take it." She stated when she noticed you weren't planning to take it.
But you ended up grabbing the little box. She gestured you to open it and you did so very slowly. You found a Pilot Vanishing Point fountain pen and you dropped your jaw, raised your eyebrows and widened your eyes in surprise. This was probably the best fountain pen ever. You looked up at her amazed and not quite understanding why she would give you something like this.
"Thank you so much." You whispered, still stunned.
"You're welcome. I know it's not a big deal, but I wanted to get you something. I just... I want to apologize to you, Freckles." She answered and you frowned in confusion and also very astonished.
"Uh... Do you wanna come in?" You asked, trying to sound polite. It was awkward to talk in the door.
"Yes, that would be nice." She responded gently.
You stepped aside to let her come in and Meredith was already on the table, looking at you and February in a curious way. They greeted each other and then Meredith announced that she was going to get some sleep, obviously to give you some kind of privacy because Meredith knew what was going on between February, Darren and you. You offered February a coffee that she accepted and now you were sitting at the table, in silence. You were very intrigued to know why she was there to apologize to you, for what she wanted to apologize and what made her make that decision; maybe Darren forced her. However, you didn't utter a single word and she was the one who started talking.
"Darren doesn't know I'm here... I thought this conversation should be only between us." She stated and you frowned, looking at her in suspicion again. You couldn't get what was happening. "I feel bad for the way I've been treating you. You never deserved it; I mean, you never gave me a reason to treat you as bad as I've been treating you. You were always very nice to me and I just treated you like crap." She said and you just pursed your lips and looked down. "I don't know why I started being cynical... Well, I actually do know, but that's not a reason for treating you so badly. I knew you even before meeting you for the first time because Brian always talked about you, so I knew what kind of person you were since the beginning; and you were and are an incredible person and I confirmed it when I talked to you for the first time. Nevertheless, I ended up thinking that you were some kind of hooker who only wanted to get Darren... And I assumed it with no solid reason and just because I was insecure. It was my problem and not yours and I couldn't admit it... Until now." She confessed and you were glancing at her, too shocked. She seemed to very extremely honest. "When I went to Seattle, I just had a very bad experience... with my ex. And well... that led me to make a lot of terrible decisions that hurt a lot of people, including you, Darren and Brian. I just lost all my ways." She confessed and her voice cracked as her eyes filled with tears.
She looked down, bit her lower lip and tried to hold back her tears as you looked at her a bit sadly. She seemed to be going through a bad moment, so you felt pity for her. Besides, you could notice she was telling the truth and you could tell she was indeed repentant. She told you the reasons why she was feeling insecure, and she mentioned something about her ex-boyfriend telling her a lot of rude things. You weren't a heartless person, therefore you could understand why she acted the way she's been acting lately and you really appreciated she had the guts to come here and tell you all of this. She shed few tears that she quickly wiped away and you were just profoundly silent, listening to her very intently. You did not want to interrupt her now that she was opening herself up.
"All things considered, I've been a bitch with you. Owing to this, I want to apologize to you. It was wrong forcing you and Darren to be away from each other because I understand that it is possible for ex-couples to be friends and you and he are the evidence for that. I'm sorry for not trusting you, for thinking you were one kind of person you aren't, for saying shit about you, for hurting you and for separating you from your friends like Darren, Brian and Joey. I had no rights to do it. I judged you and I'm sorry for that." She said honestly, looking down as though she was ashamed for the things she did. Meanwhile, you were listening to her, finally knowing all the reasons why she was apologizing. "I know that sometimes words aren't enough to apologize as it should, and less to revert certain situations. So there's something I must do... Something I should have never prohibited, for starters. I want you to start seeing Darren again, provided that..." She said and you bit your lips. You knew there were going to be conditions and maybe not so positive conditions. "Provided that you and he can be good friends in order to make up for all the time you have lost together because of my fault." She voiced and you raised your eyebrows in surprise. That was the most selfless condition you've ever heard. "I want you to spend time with him, I want you to meet him wherever you want, I want you to talk to him, and I want you to just be with him and I not necessarily have to be there when you're together. I know you need him, and he needs you as well. Maybe I'm his girlfriend, but you know? I'd never be able to understand him the way you do, to know him as much as you do, to tell him things he needs to hear the way you do. Maybe someday I'll get it, but in the meantime no one can help him the way you can. And I want to see him happy, and I know he will if you're part of his life, if he has you." She stated and you dropped your jaw. Why was she saying that? While it was true that you knew him way too much, she was his girlfriend, so why would she think that Darren would be happy only if he had you in his life? It shouldn't be like that. "I'm gonna be honest. I didn't like to know that you were that person to him, that person he absolutely needs in his life. I was afraid he could change me for you just for being that person who knows him more than anyone else in the planet. I was jealous of you, I wanted to be you because I love him so much and I don't wanna lose him. He's the best that happened to me." She confessed and you frowned.
Why would someone want to be like you? You had nothing special; you were just one girl with a mess in her head. Besides, why would she be jealous of you if at the end she was his girlfriend and not you? That made no sense. And that was bullshit. Darren had the chance to change her for you, he had the chance, yet he chose her over you. She shouldn't worry, she wouldn't lose him and he'd keep being the best that happened to her. You looked down and sighed heavily as you ran your index finger along the rim of the coffee mug.
"I cannot be you. I'll never be you and maybe I'll never mean to him what you meant to him. He told me about you, you know? You were his first and biggest love. It's incredible the way he loved you. So yes, I was afraid he would never love me because you were still in his life. But he told me he loved me and I decided to trust him." February said and you looked at her through your eyelashes. What were you supposed to feel? It was wonderful to know that you were Darren's first and biggest love; but he loved February now. "I realized and I admitted the fact that he'll never love me the way he loved you, but maybe he'd be able to love me other way; I don't know if more or less, but it'll be different. When I admitted this is when I realized that keeping you and him separated is the biggest mistake I can ever make. I trust him and I'm making the decision to trust you. You need each other and I believe that you'll be very good friends and if someday, for some reason, you and him happen to feel something else for each other, I trust you'll let me know. And this time I won't separate you. This time I'll step aside, because I understood that you can't keep someone tied, because you don't own anyone and you cannot force someone to love you back, that would be something pitiful to do; you can't force love. It'd be hard, but it'd be the right thing to do." She stated, apparently very determined.
You bit your lower lip, thinking that it was obvious that Darren didn't tell her the 'incidents' between you and him when you kissed. Maybe he just made the definite decision to be with February. Otherwise, why would she ask you to let her know if you ever felt for each other something else? It was obvious that the kiss between you and Darren was just a mistake for him, because, again, he had the chance to choose you considering that February was saying that she'd step aside. That kiss should mean the same for you.
"From now on, I trust you, Freckles. And I really wish that you and Darren can be best friends. Once again, I am so sorry for all my mistakes." She said in all honesty and you finally looked at her.
She decided to trust you even if this was probably one of the hardest things for her to do; so now, more than ever, you were decided to respect her relationship with Darren and just let them be. When all is said and done, you also wanted to see Darren happy and he was happy with her; he loved her. Besides, she was letting you to be with him again, after all; and she apologized sincerely. Therefore, you took a deep breath and you smiled at her.
"Thank you for trusting me; I'll try my best not to disappoint you. I really appreciate how honest you've been with me, I bet it was hard for you to come here, face me and tell me everything you thought and felt. I appreciate that. And I forgive you." You responded and she looked at you and gave you one grateful grin as she muttered 'thank you'. "There's one thing you must know..." You stated and you shifted your gaze to your coffee mug as she frowned intrigued. "I won't deny I was Darren's first love and he was my first love as well. We really loved each other, so very much. But things are different now. We went separate ways and we changed. We're no longer the teenagers from that time. But you're right... I know him too well." You said and you pursed your lips as she looked down and nodded slowly, apparently a bit uncomfortable because she thought you'd say something bad. "And just because I know him too much is that I can say he truly loves you. When he looks at you, a smile always spreads across his face, his eyes twinkle and his face just looks very quiet and peaceful, something that is hard to see in him considering how much of restless person he is... And you should know that expression on his face appears when he's looking something, or someone in this case, that he loves very much. He had the chance to be with me again, but he chose you." You confessed and she looked at you astonished until a smile spread across her face. "You shouldn't be worried. If Darren chose you is because he's sure of being with you. He told me he's in love with you and he is a faithful and honest person; and I'm glad he got to fall in love with someone, so I'll always respect you and him. If he fell in love with you is because you're a good person, so I'm glad for that." You said in all honesty, so she grinned. "Yes, maybe I'm his ex, but I can assure you that we're just friends. And I'll let you know if we ever feel something else for each other, but I hardly think that will ever happen. You should just relax and enjoy your relationship with him, because both of you deserve so; you deserve to feel the full beauty of loving someone and being loved back. It's beautiful the feeling of being in love and it would be unfair if that beautiful feeling is replaced by some kind of fear of being cheated or changed for someone else. I don't wish that for you, I wish you a happy relationship full of love with Darren. I know you two will be happy together and he doesn't need me more than he needs you. Hence, I think you were wrong about something... He doesn't need me to be happy; he needs you to be happy. I was his love, but you're his love now." You stated very firmly as she looked at you amazed and her eyes filled with tears of joy. Maybe she wasn't expecting to hear this from you; maybe she was just very moved to hear something like this. You knew you were doing the right thing. "However, I'd be really grateful if Darren and I can be friends because just as I know him so much, he knows me so much as well; he's one of the few people who can understand me; so I love him, but only as a friend. And I hope someday we can also be friends. That would be nice." You said with a friendly grin and she smiled back at you.
"That would be nice for me too. After all, the way Brian always described you and the way Darren described you and your relationship makes me want to be friends with a person like you." February said kindly and you couldn't help grinning and nodding.
When you were about to say something, someone knocked the door. You gestured something to February as letting her know that you should open the door, so she nodded. You stood up and opened the door. This time it was the delivery boy. You paid for the pizza and then you returned to the table.
"Well, dinner is here. Do you wanna have dinner with me?" You asked and she grinned.
"I'd like that. I'm starving and this could be a way to start being friends." She responded while smiling and shrugging, so you chuckled softly and nodded.
"That's right... I'll wake Meredith so she can join us." You announced.
"Yes." She replied and you turned around to walk to the bedroom. "Freckles?" She called you, so you turned your face to look at her. "Thank you for everything."
"No problem. And thank you. I guess we needed to have this conversation... So... Friends?" You asked with an amused smile.
"Friends." She asserted. Well, you thought it was good to have her as a friend. Finally things were getting better; even if deep down your heart was breaking.
It's been a week since the day February allowed me to see Freckles again, when she told me what her ex-boyfriend did to her, and since she was acting as she used to be when I met her: the funny, kind and amazing February. Everything was going really well with her. Not only my relationship with her improved a lot, but also her friendship with Brian and Joey, and also Freckles, it seemed they were some kind of friends now. It's also been a week since the day I went to Freckles' dorm room to talk to her when I failed Writing Musical Theatre. And it's been a week since I started writing a new song, as Freckles suggested. Today I had to attend Writing Musical Theatre because the professor, after I insisted so much, gave me another chance. I was gonna perform my new song for the first time in that course and I was nervous as hell, but I was feeling confident. I could make this. It was my dream, so I was gonna make it and I wouldn't give up on it. In an hour I had to be in the classroom, so right now I was standing in front of Freckles' dorm room door, waiting for her to open the door with my guitar case. After a while, a girl with short hair, freckles on her face and sleepy face opened the door. Of course she was sleepy, she finished all her exams and now she was resting; of course she passed all of her courses with the highest scores, we were talking about Freckles, one of the smartest people I knew.
"Who's bothering this early in the morning? Darren. I should have guessed it; you damn pain in the ass." Freckles joked with an amused smirk while rubbing her eyes and yawning.
"Well hello to you too." I responded while giggling and then I leaned to give her a buss on the cheek. "Come on, Freckles, get ready! We're late!" I hurried and she frowned.
"Excuse me? Why should I be ready? We're late for what? I didn't know we had plans or something." She replied in confusion.
"Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you. But you have to accompany me to my Writing Musical Theatre course that starts in less than an hour. So, please, hurry up!" I answered kind of edgy.
"I have to do what? Why would I have to do such a thing? It's your course, I can't go there... Wait, hold on a minute... Is that the course you...?" She asked in a suspicious way and I nodded.
"Yeah, it's the course I failed. The professor gave me one last chance and that chance is in less than an hour! You're allowed to attend the class and see me perform. And I want you to be there because I'm gonna perform a song I wrote myself and you gave me that idea... So, I want you to be the first one listening to it because you helped me a lot and I just want you there. Will you come? Please?" I explained in a very hasty way because I didn't have much time. Damn, Freckles had to come with me, but she was hesitating. "Freckles, I beg you, I need you there. Do this for me and I'll buy you a chocolate." I begged and she laughed.
"Give me few minutes. I'll dress up and we can go. I think I wouldn't like to miss your performance. Besides, I want that chocolate." She joked and I smiled widely.
"Yes, thank you! We have half an hour to arrive there!" I said and Freckles let me come in as she went to the bedroom.
Freckles dressed up really quickly, thankfully. We left the dorm room and I took her hand to force her to run to the Penny W. Stamps building because we had only 15 minutes to arrive there. Fortunately we were in the North Campus, so we arrived in 10. We dodged some people in our way to the classroom while we were running. We arrived to the classroom panting and really tired. The professor was already there, looking at the door from which we entered with a very severe and discontented facial expression. Freckles let out my hand and she just observed the professor. But there was some kind of jury. There was the Assistant Professor of Musical Theatre Ron DeJesus who was my professor, the Assistant Professor of Music Catherine Adams, the Assistant Professor Emeritus of Musical Theatre Gerald DePuit and also there was Brent Wagner who was Chair of the Musical Theatre Department. Holy shit, I was totally screwed. I never thought I'd have to do this in front of those very important people. No, I wasn't ready to perform for them; I'd fail it for sure. I looked down in resignation. Damn, I couldn't be less lucky, man. My professor really wanted me to fail this course; otherwise this jury wouldn't be here. I just wanted to turn around and leave this classroom to avoid making a fool of myself. Freckles, next to me, took my hand, squeezed it and let it out again. I looked at her kind of despondent but she grinned.
"You're gonna rock this, Dare. Remember you're talented and this is your thing. Just show them your passion and leave your heart in that stage and everything will go great." She whispered in an encouraging way and then she winked before walking to one seat.
"Mr. Criss, we're waiting for you." Professor Ron DeJesus announced and I nodded.
Crap. Holy crap. I was going to die because of my nervousness. I looked down, took a deep breath and walked to the stage with my guitar. I sat on one chair that was right in front of the jury. Alright, I could do this. Yes, I had to prove I was good at this. No matter who was there, I just had to do it. I took my guitar and I looked up. I felt extremely edgy when I looked all those faces looking at me in a very severe and critical way; but then I turned my gaze to Freckles and she was smiling in a very encouraging way. I grinned and that was all I needed to start. I looked at the jury and I was already in my role-play.
"The feeling you get when someone tells you that you cannot do something, that you aren't capable of doing that, that you're not good enough, and that you'll never get it. It's a terrible feeling, isn't it?" I asked, narrowing my eyes and looking fixedly at each one of the members of the jury, very paused and quiet. Then I looked down and I paused dramatically. I began to speak again in some sort of whisper, but loud enough to be listened. "Somehow they humiliate you, somehow they hurt your pride and your feelings; somehow they make you feel worthless, even if you know you're not worthless, they make you feel like that. They bring you down; even if they didn't mean it, they bring you down and you lose any kind of hope. They literally make you feel like real shit. All they say and all you feel; all of that leads you to think... What are you good for?" I asked in a very slow way, emphasizing each one of the words of the question.
I was trying to make my voice sound sorrowful. I looked up and I looked at each one of the members again, as way to interact with the 'public' somehow and as a way to let them know the feeling of distress with my gaze. I sighed and I looked away, trying to create a thoughtful atmosphere.
"Maybe you always try to do so many things that you end up leaving things half-way; you know about a lot of things but you don't know anything in depth. Really, what are you good for? You start feeling... lost." I voiced, raising my voice toward the end of the sentence, looking down and frowning, still creating that thoughtful and distressing atmosphere.
There was a long and profound silence and I thought I was getting that fraught situation I wanted to create. I slowly looked straight ahead, not fixing my gaze in anything and anyone in particular; and I just remained with that serious facial expression, maintaining it for a while. I frowned slightly and with the same look, I began to speak in a sad way.
"They don't have faith on you. That's terrible, isn't it? Why nobody has faith on you? Why nobody supports you? Yes, you know that you're the only one who can stop yourself from doing what you want; yes, you know that everything is up to you; but sometimes you just need someone to tell you 'I have faith on you. I know you're gonna get it. I support you'." I spoke very clearly and loudly, so that my voice echoed in the very silent room.
I glanced at Freckles and I suddenly smiled faintly; still in my role-play, but also wanting to let her know that she was one person who told me those words and I was grateful for that. I looked straight ahead again, I sighed heavily and I lift my chin up, now smiling in a triumphant way. The following things were completely inspired by Freckles and her words. I actually stole few of her words to elaborate this little introductory speech. I looked at the jury with a smirk, I left my guitar, stood up and walked to them, standing right in front of the table; once there, I looked at them one by one, with a strong and penetrating glare; trying to create a mysterious atmosphere.
"It's time to stand up with your head held high and say: 'I can do this. I know I can. I'll prove you wrong and I'll show you that I can do it because this is my passion'." I voiced loudly, placing both hands on my heart. My gaze, inevitably, fixed on my professor when I said this. This was what I wanted to tell him since the time he said I had no talent. Then I walked alongside the table while staring each one of them, with a satisfied grin. "And if you wish it with all your being, if there's love and inspiration, you'll get it eventually, if you never give up no matter how hopeless it seems, if you keep on trying, hold on, and always believe in yourself." I said and my gaze fixed on Freckles. These were her words. Then I looked at the jury and I pulled out my forefinger, as a way to point something out and emphasize it. "And then, after all of this, you won't scream in their face that they were wrong about you. You'll just feel the best accomplishment in your whole life; because you could make it even when nobody believed in you because the greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do. You and only you could get it. Keep in mind that it's not how good you are, it's how good you want to be." I stated very clearly and slowly, grinning and staring intently at the jury. Again, these were Freckles' words so I glanced at her. After this, I made a dramatic pause in which I turned around, giving my back to the jury intentionally, walking slowly to the chair. I faced the jury and I smiled. "Listen up, this is what I am." I voiced very proudly, extending my arms and looking at myself. Then I sat on the chair and I took my guitar before fixing my gaze on the jury again to start playing my new song.
I feel like a loser
I feel like I'm lost
I feel like I'm not sure
If I feel anything at all
But believe me
I'm not helpless
I just need someone to love
So my situation's rough
That just makes me a dumb human
Like you.
I sang with an amused grin, now looking fixedly at my professor who was the one who made me feel like that. I wanted to let him know that at the end of the day, we both we just dumb humans.
I feel like a shortstop
Along third base
I may just help you but
I still don't like your face
But believe me
I'm not hostile
I just want to hear you laugh
When I'm sarcastic like that
And that just makes me a dumb human
Like you.
I sang and I suddenly stood up and, while still playing my guitar, I began to walk to the table of the jury. Then I stood right in front of them and I looked up.
Why... do I have this
Incredible need to stand up and say
Please pay attention?
I exclaimed and sang in a very desperate way, frowning and trying to pretend an incredulous facial expression; always looking fixedly at the jury. I noticed some of them chuckled softly.
It's the last thing that I need to
Make myself see well
That ain't my intention
No...
I sang and I let out a short chuckle, raising an eyebrow and shaking my head, looking down. Then I looked at them again and began to walk alongside the table to see them one by one.
I feel like an artist
Who's lost his touch
He likes himself in his art
But not his art too much
I sang making a disgusted facial expression, to try to add some kind of funny and sarcastic situation, as this complete situation was. The jury, again, giggled softly and I felt good for that. Then I turned around and I walked to the chair, giving my back to them. Once there, I turned around and, in front of the chair, I stood on it and sang, looking at the jury with a triumphant smile.
But believe me
I've got something
I just don't know how to say
That I'm just fine with the way
With the way that I'm moving
But that just makes me a dumb human
That just makes me
That makes me a human like you...
I finished singing with a very wide and satisfied smile, dropping myself on the chair and looking at my guitar, feeling really comfortable. I paused for a while and then I looked up at the jury. It was time for their review. Although I was feeling confident, I was also feeling super nervous and scared. Everything depended on them now. They all were very serious as though they were examining me; it felt kind of awkward. Should I say something or should I wait for them to say something? Maybe the ending wasn't clear, maybe it wasn't enough... What if they were still waiting for some kind of ending? What if they were thinking that I was still in role-play and were expecting something else? What if they thought my performance was really basic and simple? Because I didn't have time to think and practice something more elaborated. Maybe I didn't complete the course expectations. Shit, why were they looking at me that way? I should have performed something more elaborated; I shouldn't have risked this one chance with a song I wrote.
"Mr. Criss, right?" The Chair of the Musical Theatre Department asked.
"That's right, sir." I answered and my voice trembled a little. Holy Jesus, I had to calm my tits down.
"The song... I never heard that song. Who's the composer?" He asked and I gulped.
"I am, sir." I responded, trying to control my nervousness and sound calm.
"You're the person who composed this song?" He asked, narrowing his eyes and looking fixedly at me.
"That's correct, sir." I answered. I couldn't tell if this was good or bad.
"You composed this song only for this performance?" He asked again and I nodded as a response. He narrowed his eyes again and frowned slightly. "Interesting." He voiced almost in a whisper, apparently he was curious or suspicious, while writing something on some kind of paper. What did it mean?
"You got any extra help to compose the song, Mr. Criss?" The Assistant Professor of Music, Catherine Adams, asked.
"No, professor. I did it myself." I answered in all honesty.
Damn, what was this? Some kind of interview? This seemed an interrogatory in which they would decide if I was guilty or innocent in some kind of crime. I just wanted to hear their criticism and know if I passed the course or not.
"Do you have previous studies related to music?" She asked and I nodded.
"Yes, professor. I studied Musicology and I've been into music since I was five when I began taking violin lessons and I was classically trained for the next fifteen years." I answered.
"Have you attended a musical theater company before?" She asked curiously. Why were they asking me those things?
"Yes, the musical theater company 42nd Street Moon and the American Conservatory Theater
in San Francisco." I answered, now starting to feel a bit uncomfortable because everybody was looking at me in a weird way.
"What plays?" She asked curiously.
"Umm... Fanny, Do I Hear a Waltz and Babes in Arms in the 42nd Street Moon and Shed a Little Light: The Music of James Taylor in the American Conservatory Theater." I answered.
"In high school... Were you into a music program?" She asked. Why she wanted to know that?
"Yes, professor. I immersed myself in the school music scene; I held the position of concertmaster in the school orchestra." I responded, now looking down.
"Concertmaster?" She asked and she sounded surprised. "Can you play any other instruments besides guitar?" She asked and I nodded. "Which?"
"Umm... Violin, cello, piano, mandolin, harmonica, didgeridoo, pan flute, ukulele, kazoo and drums." I replied a bit shyly. When I looked up I saw them looking at me as though they were astonished, yet with that frivolous facial expression.
"That's a variety of instruments." The Assistant Professor of Music commented and then she wrote something in her paper, just as the Chair of the Musical Theatre Department did.
"I have a question for you, Mr. Criss." Suddenly the Assistant Professor Emeritus of Musical Theatre stated, so I looked at him and my heart began to beat faster in nervousness. This was a torture. He was looking very fixedly into my eyes through his glasses. "Why have you decided to show us what your knowledge of musical theater is with a very simple and personified performance instead of performing one of the very recognized, elaborated and complicated musicals as almost all students do?" He asked and I gulped. I was afraid of this question since the beginning. What should I answer? Should I tell the truth or should I make up something to look like one who was very enlightened?
"Well, err..." I hesitated, looking down and feeling like I was gonna explode because of my nervousness. Maybe my condition on this course depended on this answer. I chose to tell the truth, no matter if this was the kind of answer which would make me pass the course or not. "To be honest, I failed my exam last week, therefore I didn't pass this course; but I insisted on getting a second chance because I couldn't accept the fact that I failed this course, considering this is what I love doing; that's why I'm here today. I had only one week to prepare something different, to think about a concept and an idea, to structure the play, to write the monologue, to pick and write a song, and to rehearse. I was aware that I was not in the ideal condition to perform a recognized and elaborated play, because if I dared to do it, I was gonna fail again and I didn't want it." I began to explain as all of them were writing something in their respective papers. Shit, hopefully this wasn't a bad sign. "Hence I decided to do something simple. I was also aware that with something simple I would fail as well; so I had to add something personal. I wrote the monologue and composed the song based on my experiences and I tried to make something personified, always adding certain characteristics of the fictional character I interpreted. I tried to express with my performance not something poetic and complex as any other musical, but to express an everyday situation of life, sometimes underrated topics of performances. After all, one of the purposes of theater, as well as musical theater, is to leave some kind of message that spectators can catch; and that message not necessarily has to be transmitted in a poetic and metaphoric way, it can also be transmitted in a simple way. And it doesn't mean that only because is simple isn't profound, as contradictory as it might sound. Sometimes the most simple things are the most profound and complex things and vice versa. That's what I wanted to show. I wanted to show my knowledge through something created by myself instead of showing it through a mere interpretation of a certain play, also considering my time restrictions." I finished explaining, surprised for my own explanation.
Then I dared to look up. They were looking at me very serious, frowning and as if they were thoughtful, always examining me. Then they wrote something in their papers. Okay, this was supposed to be the moment in which they would tell me my condition, but none of them talked. Seriously, what was the procedure of this? I glanced at Freckles. She was smiling slightly and she was now looking at the jury. When they stopped writing, the Assistant Professor of Music, the Assistant Professor Emeritus of Musical Theatre and the Chair of the Musical Theatre Department gave the papers to my professor Ron DeJesus. Then the three of them stood up and looked at my direction as I couldn't understand a damn shit of what was happening. They smiled politely and then headed to the door of the classroom, except the Assistant Professor Emeritus of Musical Theatre who walked towards me and stretched out his hand.
"Mr. Criss, it was an honor meeting you. It's a pleasure to know there are still passionate students who dare to go beyond the expectations of the course by creating something personal." He said politely and I widened my eyes in amazement. I was totally speechless; I wasn't expecting to hear something like this. I just shook my hand with his.
"Thank you, Mr. DePuit. The honor is mine." I responded with trembling voice, feeling super perplexed and blurred.
He smiled and nodded, then turned around and left the classroom. I was just too astonished. I glanced at Freckles and she was looking at me with a wide smile; when she noticed I was looking at her, she winked and that made me grin. Right after this, I looked at my professor, who was reading the papers that others gave him. After a while, he put the papers aside and he cleared his throat and looked at me very fixedly and serious. He remained like that for a while and the silence was killing me. I needed to know my condition.
"It was not a good idea to have taken the risk of trying to create a personal performance and a personal song in this short time you had to prepare it. It'd have been safer if you had decided to perform any of the musicals you performed during this course. That would have been a smart decision instead of the decision you've made." He stated and I looked down as I felt how that sudden happiness I was feeling totally vanished. This professor had something against me, I was sure of it. "To create a personal play is not something easy to do and is not something you can make in a matter of a week; and when done like that, it always has negative results." He added and I bit my lips. Fuck. I was screwed. I failed again. I glanced at Freckles and she was looking at my professor as though she was disagreeing with him. "That's why I'm highly impressed by your performance today, just as the assistant professors and the chair of the Musical Theatre Department were. It's remarkable your progress in the period since last week until today." The professor said and I looked up in surprise, raising my eyebrows. "Last week you decided to interpret a very complex character with which you were not comfortable, so it was noticeable your effort to interpret the features of that character instead of interpreting the message of the play; it was an expressionless, boring, and only technical performance. I was disappointed in you and your performance, regarding you were one of the best students in this course. I knew you were capable of doing more than what you did in that performance, so I decided to test you and I decided to force you to do more effort because I knew you could make something outstanding instead of something good. That's why I marked your exam a fail." He explained and I was really confused, amazed and just speechless. So... this was the reason why he flunked me. "I called my colleagues to witness your performance so that they could know one of the best students, it's a tradition. I was sure you were going to make a very good performance, so I got a little scared when you started your performance with an original monologue and more when you began to perform a personal song, because I couldn't believe you weren't smart enough to know that is not good to create a play in only one week. I didn't have in mind to tell you that you didn't pass the course, but now that my colleagues were here, I wouldn't be able to make you pass this course if they thought the opposite, if they thought that your performance was not good in respect of the expectations of this course." He said and, well, now I was feeling nervous again. What did he exactly want to tell me? That I didn't pass the course? "But you surprised me and you surprised them, not only with your performance and your song, but also with your responses to their questions. You showed them that there are students who are here not to simply pass the course and obtain their degree, but to be willing to take risks and give the best of themselves with dedication and inspiration because this is their passion and they are determined to deal and sort any kind of obstacle to become great professionals in the future. You showed them that you have the talent and that this is your passion." He said and I began to feel thrilled. This was probably one of the best things someone could tell me. "Congratulations, Mr. Criss. You passed the Musical Theatre course with excellence in the view of all the members of the jury and you'll be a great professional. It was an honor to have had you as a student." Professor Ron DeJesus said with a proud smile and I grinned widely, feeling very accomplished.
"Thank you very much, professor." It was the only thing I could articulate with trembling voice.
The professor stood up, walked towards me, shook my hand and then turned around and left the classroom. I was just stunned, looking at the direction where the door was. What the hell was all of this? I was just feeling so blurred that I couldn't understand anything. Suddenly I heard a squeal and seconds later I noticed how Freckles pounced on me to pull me into a very tight embrace, putting her arms around my neck. I wrapped my arms around her waist and I lift her up to start spinning while both of us were laughing. I was feeling like the happiest guy on Earth. We spun and spun until we felt so dizzy that we stumbled and fell on the floor. Yet, we remained laughing on the floor, holding hands. I noticed Freckles was looking at me, so I turned my face and I saw she was smiling very proudly, so I smiled back.
"You got it, Dare! You got it!" She squealed very excited and I giggled. I couldn't help turning on my side to hold her and bury my head on her neck. "Have you heard what they said? You're the best student! They're honored to have met you! You were outstanding and you'll be the best professional!" She squealed joyfully while stroking my curls as I was holding her firmly, grinning like a fool. Dammit, I couldn't believe it. "And your song! Gosh! That is an amazing song! I truly loved it." She commented and I could notice she was being honest, so that made me grin even more widely, still burying my head on her neck. "Jeez, I am so proud of you! You are a very talented actor, musician and songwriter! I knew you could make this and I'm sure you'll make true all of your dreams." She said sweetly and kissed the top of my head. I parted, yet still holding her, to look into her precious and bright eyes.
"You know what? I'd have never done this if it hadn't been because of you, Freckles. I owe this to you. You supported me, you encouraged me, and you inspired me. I wrote that monologue and composed that song thanks to you, because I used your words in the monologue and you were my inspiration when I wrote the song." I confessed with a kind smile as her eyes twinkled and she grinned as though she was moved for hearing this. I frowned and I looked at her amused. "I'm starting to think you're my muse. Like... I've already written four songs and in all of them you were my inspiration." I stated and she tittered and nudged me playfully.
But actually that was the truth. The coolest girl, Not Alone, Stutter and Human; I wrote them all thanks to her, either the songs were about her or she inspired me to write them. And it felt totally awesome to have realized that. If I had a muse, it was great to know that my muse was her. I smiled fondly at her and I leaned to give her a super noisy kiss on her cheek as she giggled. I stood up and I gave her my hand to help her stand up as well. I placed one hand firmly on her waist and I pulled her to me.
"Come on, my muse. I owe you a chocolate."
"Hi, Jen! How are you?" You said cheerfully when you called her and she picked up the call.
"I'm fine, Freckles! What a surprise to receive your call!" She responded, also joyful.
"Well, I had to talk to you. How's George doing? I couldn't see or talk to Brian in a while, so I don't know anything." You said while you were sketching something, enjoying your free time your own way.
"Oh, he's fine. He seems to be happy living in here; he's actually a very cheerful and kind man, so the living with him is great. He's doing a lot of physical and speech therapy and it's working so far, slowly, but it's working and that is what matters. He has an excellent professional who gave him a new dose of meds and three days ago he underwent deep brain stimulation and now the doctor is waiting for the results to elaborate a full medical diagnostic. He said it'd be ready for the December 26th, which is good because Brian will be able to hear the diagnostic himself." Jen explained and you frowned.
Brian didn't tell you that his dad already underwent deep brain stimulation and this was something important. You sighed, thinking you could never see or talk to him due to his busy schedules. Since February talked to you and allowed you to go to Darren's apartment and all, if you saw Brian one day was just luck; and you got to see him only twice since you went to San Francisco, that was more than three weeks ago. It was better when you lived with him, you missed him, because he didn't even have time to talk on the phone because he was at work, because he was attending a course or because he was studying for exams and he had to get high scores to obtain the full scholarship. Now it was like your friendship wasn't as good as it was before and now you were kind of distant, you could feel it even if you didn't want it. He didn't tell you about his father. Go figure. And now you wouldn't see him for two weeks because he was gonna spend Christmas and New Year in NYC with his father and Jen, also with Darren, February and Joey. It was December 21 and all of them were going to leave tomorrow afternoon because they were going to travel to NYC in February's car. You were planning to go there too, that was the idea, but you had to change your plans and that was why you called Jen.
"Jen, I'm calling you because I have bad news." You said kind of sad. You really wanted to go there, but you couldn't. "I won't be able to spend Christmas there." You announced.
"What? Freckles! No! I really want you to come, I miss you already and I want to see you. You must come, Freckles!" Jen complained but not in a rude way, it was more in a distressing way.
"Yes, I miss you too, and believe me, I really wanted to go, it was what I really wanted to do. But I just can't." You sighed.
"Why have you changed your plans? It was all planned and settled." Jen asked curiously. "If it's because of the money, don't worry, I have the money for you to come. Besides, Darren told me you were coming in February's car, so that's not so expensive and don't worry about spending money here, I won't make you pay anything, duh. It's my invitation."
"No, it's not for the money, I have the money." You responded and then you sighed again. "My mom had to go to Canada two days ago for business and she'll be there for a month. Therefore, my sister will be alone and I don't want her to spend Christmas alone, so I'm going to LA to be with her. She insisted me that she'll be fine alone and that I should go to NYC, but I just don't want to leave her. So... I can't go to NYC, I hope you can understand, Jen." You explained.
"Is that so?" Jen asked.
"Yes." You affirmed.
"Oh, Freckles! That's not a problem at all! Tell your sister to come here too. When I said I have a big house, I really meant it. I have six bedrooms and all of them have King size beds, so... I have my own bedroom and I share it with my boyfriend and George has his own bedroom. Darren will share a bedroom with February, Joey with Brian, also, Chuck and his girlfriend are coming and they'll share a bedroom too. You can share a bedroom with your sister. So, it's not a problem. I'd be glad if your sister can come; it's been a while since the last time I saw her. Tell her to come, Freckles." Jen insisted.
"Umm... I don't know, Jen. I don't wanna cause any trouble." You hesitated, though you adored that idea.
"Trouble? Please, Freckles! Trouble would be if you don't come. Come on, call your sister now and tell her that she must pack some stuff to spend Christmas and New Year here, I know you'll leave Ann Arbor tomorrow afternoon, so she must hurry. Come on, Freckles! Just do it." Jen said persuasively, it was more like she was forcing you, so you giggled.
"Are you sure you don't mind if my sister goes?" You asked.
"More than sure! It'll be amazing! The more the merrier." She exclaimed joyfully, so you chuckled.
"Thank you a lot, Jen! I love that! I mean, I'll be with my sister and all of you in NYC. That will be amazing! Thank you very much!" You exclaimed happily and very grateful.
"No problem, Freckles! And what are you waiting for? Call your sister now!" Jen demanded and you laughed. "See you in two days, Freckles!" Jen said and then she hung up.
Once you she hung up, you squealed and bounced on the chair in excitement. You were feeling super happy now. There wasn't anything better than spending Christmas with your sister and all of your friends. Even Chuck will be there too, and that was great; you were going to meet Chuck's girlfriend and Jen's boyfriend. Without hesitating, you called Mandy. When she answered, you literally screamed.
"What the hell? Are you crazy, sister? Do you wanna kill me? That's what you want to do, eh? Shut up, already!" She exclaimed while you were still squealing in between giggles.
"Mandy, Mandy, Mandy!" You squealed very excited.
"Yes, that's my name. I know." She responded and you laughed.
"Mandy! Pack your stuff right now and take the first flight to Ann Arbor! Right now!" You screamed.
"I thought we agreed that you were coming to LA? It's more interesting LA than Ann Arbor, sister. I know you love it there, but I really don't wanna spend Christmas in that town." Mandy pointed out.
"We're not gonna spend Christmas in Ann Arbor, but we won't spend it in LA either. Sis, you and I are gonna go to NYC! Yay!" You exclaimed ecstatically. "You'll be with me and Brian, you'll see Darren and Jen again and you'll meet Joey! Isn't this totally awesome?" You asked excited.
"What are you talking about?" She asked confused. "Sis, I understand you really wanna go to NYC with your friends and it's fine for me. You can go, I don't mind spending Christmas alone if what you want is to go there, but I won't go to your friend's house like some sort of bother or something. They don't know me that much and it's wrong to..."
"Shut up, Amanda!" You demanded firmly and she did so. "I talked to Jen, I told her that I wasn't going to NYC and she told me to invite you because that seemed a good idea. So you're officially invited and she was the one who came up with that idea. So, shut up and stop wasting your time because you need to pack your stuff. We leave tomorrow afternoon and you need to be here before 5 pm so we can go all together."
"Are you forcing me?" She asked suspiciously and you smirked amused.
"Yes, I am." You assured.
"Since when are you the one to force someone to do something? Don't you dare to steal my role, you!" She exclaimed as though she was offended but you knew she wanted to laugh.
"I learned that from you, if that makes you feel better." You responded pretending to be indifferent.
"Yeah, that makes me feel proud." She joked and finally chuckled. "So, am I supposed to pack all my stuff to spend two or three weeks in NYC only in a matter of hours?"
"Yes." You replied with an amused smirk.
"You're insane. I can't do that. I have to choose all the clothes, I have to..." She began to complain.
"Shut up and do it. You prepared a whole fashion show in only one day, so you can do it." You cut her off.
"True that. I'm a genius. People admire my ability to all this." She said in a snooty way, but you knew she was joking.
"Exactly! So I'll be waiting for you, Mandy. Just tell me what time you arrive so I can go to the airport to pick you up. Better if you get a flight today, so we can catch up this night!" You stated.
"Oh, yeah. I'd love that. Something tells me you've a lot to tell me... You know what I'm talking about... All of this thing of Brian and you being distant, and Brian being friends with Darren and living with him, and Darren having a girlfriend and that girlfriend being your friend... Everything seems crazy. What is your life?" She huffed as though she was kind of dizzy, so you laughed.
"For that we'll need more than a night, sis. Now, stop! You have to pack! Ah! I'm so excited, Mandy! I miss you so very much!" You said and grinned, totally expecting to hear her cold response because she wasn't like one of those demonstrative people.
"Yeah, I can't wait to see you to tell you not to wear the horrible clothes you're wearing and how ridiculous you look to then advice you and force you to wear one of my designs. I miss doing that." She responded and of course you laughed out loud. 'I miss doing that' was her way to say 'I miss you too'. "Alright, I'll just hang up because I'll hear your voice later and I don't wanna get tired of hearing your voice already. Besides, I have a lot of work to do, you know, packing is not something easy to do when you're a maniac of fashion and all. So... I'll text you telling you what time I'll arrive there. See you later, sis. Ha! It feels great to say that. Okay, enough... Bye, little sis." She said and she did not give you time to answer. Typical.
You put your phone aside and bounced on the chair. You were feeling fervent. These were going to be the best three weeks in the year. You walked to the bedroom and started to pack some clothes and stuff for your amazing trip. Meredith wasn't in Ann Arbor since three days, so you were just packing with very loud music, singing and dancing along and making silly faces. Sometimes it was good to be alone and do all of these things you wouldn't do in front of somebody. You were very entertained until your phone buzzed. It was Mandy for sure, to tell you what time she'd arrive.
From Mandy: I'll arrive there at 8 pm, so you better pick me up with a Grande nonfat mocha.
To Mandy: It's a deal!
You smiled widely and checked the time. It was 3 pm. You had time. What would you do till then? It didn't matter, you were free and you were going to have a blast in the following days. You kept singing and dancing with the loud music, until your phone buzzed again. This time it wasn't Mandy.
From Darren: It'd be a great idea to turn off the music, so you'd notice that I've been knocking your door for at least 15 minutes.
You laughed when you read the text message and you turned off the music before walking to the door with the brightest smile. You couldn't help it, you were happy. You opened the door and looked at Darren amused as he was standing there with his arms crossed and smirking amused. With his guitar.
"The Beatles, eh?" He asked and you chortled.
"Always The Beatles. You say goodbye and I say hello, hello, hello." You sang very loudly and he burst out laughing.
"I don't know why you say goodbye, I say hello, hello, hello." Darren sang and you giggled, stepping aside to let him come in. He entered your dorm room and greeted you with a noisy kiss on the cheek. "Hello, beatlemaniac. What's up?"
"What's up? I'll go to NYC after all!" You squealed cheerfully and he raised his eyebrows and grinned widely.
"Really? That's totally awesome, Freckles!" He exclaimed as though he was really happy to know that. "But what will happen with Mandy?"
"Mandy will join us. I called Jen earlier and she told me to invite my sister; and well, Mandy accepted. So, I'm going to NYC with Mandy and all of you!" You exclaimed joyfully.
"That sounds amazing, Freckles! Ah! You have no idea how happy it makes me to know that you're going! We're gonna have a blast in NYC." Darren replied, also cheerfully. "And I'll see Mandy again, after more than a year!"
"Uh, yeah... About that..." You began to say while looking down, feeling a bit awkward, so Darren frowned in suspicion. "You'll have to be patient with her. You know, she's still kind of resentful of what you did when you left me that night. Yeah, I told her that you were forced to do it and I told her we're friends now and that everything is alright... But she kind of cannot trust you, you know." You said a bit uncomfortable and when you looked up, you noticed Darren was looking down and biting his lips, as though he was sort of sad to hear this. "But, hey... It's just because she hasn't seen you since that time and she had to deal with the depressed version of me. She... She likes you, but well, she just needs to talk to you again to see by herself that you're still that nice and amazing guy. It's not that she loathes you... She used to, but then I talked to her and now... Well, now she..."
"Freckles. Hey, Freckles." Darren stated, placing his hands on your shoulders to stop you. "I understand." He said, looking deeply into your eyes with a soft grin. "It's absolutely understandable the fact that Mandy thinks I'm a bad guy, or that she thought that and now she doesn't know what to think, or that she's resentful of what happened because, intentional or not, I caused you suffering and she saw how hurt you were. Therefore, I understand her." He said gently, still grinning faintly. "Maybe if we talk again, as you said, we'll become friends again. That would be nice."
"Yes, that would be really nice." You responded with a kind smile.
"So... When is she gonna arrive here?" He asked.
"Oh, at 8 pm. I have to go to the airport to pick her up." You answered, again feeling excited. Damn, you truly missed her.
"That's great. It's 3 pm, so we have like 5 hours. Do you want me to accompany you to the airport to pick her up?" He asked politely and you shook your head.
"No. Thanks, though. But I wanna catch up with her, so the best would be if I go there alone." You replied and he nodded.
"That's sounds fair. Umm... Do you want me to tell Brian to accompany you? I know that he and Mandy are good friends, so maybe they would like to, you know, see each other..." He commented, shrugging.
"No, don't tell him anything. I'll go alone." You answered firmly.
You didn't know why you were feeling weird now when someone mentioned Brian. Maybe because you were offended because he didn't tell you anything about his dad and he didn't tell you anything in general... He just didn't talk to you anymore. So now you didn't want him to know anything about you or what was happening to you. Yes, stupid and immature, but you couldn't help it.
"So! Why have you come here?" You asked intrigued, also to change the topic of conversation.
"Oh yeah, that!" He exclaimed, now smiling merrily again. He showed you his guitar. "I've been working on a new song and I want you to listen to it. Are you in mood for that?" He asked.
"I'm always in mood for that! I kind of love your songs. So, yes!" You responded while hopping in excitement. "Just let's sit." You requested so that the two of you walked to the table to sit.
"Well..." Darren spoke while pulling his guitar out and putting the guitar case aside. "Remember that days ago I told you that you were sort of my muse?" He asked and you couldn't help laughing, then you nodded. You being his muse sounded like some sort of joke. "Well, you are indeed my muse and I wrote a song for you." He said and you raised your eyebrows.
"You wrote another song for me?" You asked stunned and he nodded with a bright smile. "Wow! I feel... special! Like, your future fans would get super jealous if they know that almost all of your songs are dedicated to me!" You joked and he burst out laughing and shook his head.
"Fans? Really? Do you have any idea how crazy this thing of fans sounds?" He asked with an amused smirk. "Anyways! Yeah... You should feel special because you're not a random person, you're my muse. So... This song... This song is also kind of... Uh, I don't know how to say it... let's say that you're like Medusa's great great great great great great great granddaughter." He said and you bit your tongue not to laugh. You frowned and tried to remain serious. Medusa's great great and whatever granddaughter? Jeez.
"Okay... I don't know how to feel about it." You responded, trying your best not to laugh loudly. "Explain yourself. Why am I Medusa's great, and I don't remember how many great you said, granddaughter?"
"Well... Uh... It's about, like, Medusa and gorgons. Basically, this is about; so Medusa, she's this hideous witch. She's like this really mean woman but she's beautiful, you know. And, uh, so she was mean and she got turned into gorgon which was like, totally hideous. So I have this theory that she had this great great great great great great great great, whatever, granddaughter who was, like, beautiful. Like, she wasn't turned into an evil monster and, uh, but she was just as evil so, uh." He started to explain and you narrowed your eyes; it was being really hard not to laugh.
"Wait... Are you trying to say that I am evil?" You asked curiously and he raised his eyebrows and parted his lips as he shook his head.
"Uh... Well, no. I mean, yeah... But not evil in a hideous way, otherwise you'd be turned into a hideous gorgon like your great great great great great grandmother. Like, you're evil because you're a muse and muses tend to break guys' hearts... But not in a bad way... Well, just... Don't make me explain you this. Just... hear the song, okay?" He asked a bit uncomfortable and you chuckled.
"Alright, I'm eager to hear the song and know how it's like to be Medusa's great great great great great granddaughter." You responded amused and he sighed, giggled and shook his head before playing his guitar.
You're a diamond that I'm afraid to touch
You're damn near flawless and I'm sure you'd cut
Off my eyes, my hands, my head, my heart
You'd tear this canvas skin apart
Oh, what a waste of human art that be
You're a dungeon, but you're made of glass
Your prisoners have no idea they're trapped
'Cause you look so beautiful inside
It makes us feel like we're alive
But lord knows we'll never survive your walls
Didn't you know that all along
You didn't need to hear your song
And if you don't know that
Then you might as well be dead...
Medusa's child preserved her former looks
She kept her out of all the storybooks
Just to get back at all of the men
Who have tried time and time again
To claim the right of her demise and end
A million years go by and you're still around
You're knocking us off of our feet you're knocking us down
But we still can't leave you alone
The way you move one would be prone
To want to be turned into stone by you
Didn't you know that all along
You didn't need to hear your song
And if you don't know that
Then you might as well be dead...
You make me feel so alive
But it's consequence I want to be dead
Was it how you arrived?
I can't tell or was it in
The way you left us here?
Didn't you know that all along
You didn't need to hear your song
And if you don't know that
Then you might as well
Might as well, oh...
You didn't need to hear your song
'Cause you just knew it all along
You didn't know that
So you might as well
Might as well be dead...
Darren finished singing and you were just amazed by the song. You had to admit he was a great songwriter. How did he even come up with those ideas? He always said he was none of a poet, yet he had something... He had this way to express certain things that were closely related to poetry. When he finished, he left his guitar and looked at you with a bright smile.
"So, this is what I have so far." He stated and you nodded. "You trapped me and the worst of all is that I like it. You see, that's what a good muse does."
"You're my prisoner. Something very interesting to remember." You joked amused as he laughed and shook his head.
"I am at your service, my muse." He joked and winked, so you giggled.
"Now, in all seriousness. I liked it. You're truly an incredible songwriter, Dare. You should... You should like play your songs somewhere else, in front of an audience... And maybe you should like, I don't know, make a musical recording, like an extended play." You suggested and he chuckled and shook his head.
"No, that's crazy... I just, I love doing this... But, I don't know, I feel like I'm not ready to do something like that." He responded.
"But you should do it, seriously. I'm pretty sure people would love your work." You stated persuasively, but he looked down and shook his head, so you sighed. "Dare, I think it's time for you to start doing something to show everybody what you're capable of doing. You have so much talent, but you're like wasting it. Your songs are so good, your voice is fantastic and you have the ability to play several instruments, not to mention you can also act while singing. You have everything, Dare. You must do something with it and you should stop being afraid." You said gently, but also like pressuring him because you considered he had to do something to make his dreams come true. "You'll see, it'll be a success; and if not, you'll be allowed to slap me hard. But just do something; at least start performing the songs in front of an audience." You suggested and he bit his lips and frowned.
"Maybe someday I'll do it. But not for now... I really want to improve myself before doing that. I need to keep working on the songs, make some arrangements, improve my voice and work on my tuning and breathing, among other things. But I promise someday I'll do it; provided that you stay next to me because, remember, you're my muse and no artist can work without their muse." He replied and you laughed out loud.
"I promise I'll stay with you. And I'll totally force you to perform your songs someday, that's for granted." You responded and then you shook hands as an agreement. "Thing is… Would you want to be with me even after getting tons of fans and girls wanting to be with you?"
"Always, Freckles. You're my one and only muse. I wouldn't change you for anyone. Now… Would you want to be with me even if every guy on planet wants to get you away from me? Cause the life of a muse ain't easy, my dear." He joked and you grinned.
"I'll still be your one and only muse, don't worry." You responded amused and Darren fixed his gaze on your eyes as he smiled widely. His hazel eyes were like piercing your eyes and that felt very intense.
"Freckles... You're an amazing artist, like, talking about art, paintings, drawings and acting... But, besides that, you're a great singer and you write wonderful things. So, I was wondering... Have you ever thought about writing your own songs?" He asked and you got very surprised by his question.
"Uh... No. No, I never thought about writing my own songs. Maybe I can sing and maybe I can write... But it's different writing a text or poem than writing a song. I just... I don't know so much about music. So, no, I never attempted to write a song." You answered in all honesty.
"Maybe you should try it. I could help you with the technical part. But you should totally try to write a song. I think you have a talent you still don't know you have, I noticed it whenever I heard you singing or playing the ukulele. You have something... I'm not quite sure of what it is, but it's for sure something that makes you shine. If I could give you an advice, it'd be that you should try to write a song sometime. You won't lose anything." He suggested while shrugging as you remained thoughtful. Maybe it was a good idea, but again, you didn't know how to write a song. "You know? I was thinking that it'd be cool if we write a song together. I'd totally love it." He said and you grinned brightly.
"Yeah... I'd love it too. We should try it." You answered, now enthusiastic.
"Well, we have like three hours left... What if we start now? I mean, if you want, of course." He suggested and suddenly you felt very contented.
"Yes, I'd like that!" You exclaimed excited. "Uh... What should we write about? Maybe... Maybe we'll need some papers and a pen!" You exclaimed very eager, standing up to look for those things as Darren was looking at you as though he was happy for your excitement.
"I don't know... I was thinking that maybe we should write about something that has happened to us. Like the best songs you can write are those which come within you, based on your feelings or experiences. And we have a lot to write about, don't you think?" He asked and you had to agree.
"Yes. Maybe we should write about the time we met. Or maybe about when we were friends, and then we started dating and then we grew apart but then we met again. Or maybe how we can keep being friends despite everything..." You began to propose.
"I was thinking we could write about the greatest love story and how it can go in a way you never expected; like that great love that was meant to last forever but it came to an end, yet it'll remain deep down in heart forever. Like a fairy tale that didn't end in the conventional way, yet it's still a fairy tale and like every fairy tale it's something good to be remembered." Darren proposed in a thoughtful way with his gaze lost and you were just looking deeply into his hazel eyes, as a smile spread across your face without premeditation. When he looked up, you smiled at him.
"I think it's a good idea." You responded and he smiled back. "Once upon a time, then?"
"Once upon a time, two strangers crossed paths." Darren added and you grinned.
Like this, you spent the whole afternoon with Darren, trying to write your own song. You disagreed in several things, but you also agreed in some others. You never thought it could be so complicated to write a song; but you were enjoying it. It was like finally there was something new you could share with Darren; something only you and he will share. And yes, it felt great. The only strophes of the song you could write were these:
What about the way our fable wasn't fiction?
It was real to you, it was real to me
So maybe our love was the love that comes from fiction
We were never sure of what we were but we knew we could never be
But what about the way our fable wasn't fiction?
It was real to you, it was real to me
What about the ups and downs and all the misses?
The things we learned, the stones we turned, well, that bridge has burned away
And now it's just one more part for the storybook
One more road that I should've took
One more thing that used to have my heart
That was all. Maybe you'd forget about this attempt of song and maybe you'd never finish it. Maybe none of you would mention about this again, maybe it'd be just one silly thing you wrote one random afternoon in which both of you dreamed of writing something together. But none of that mattered. What mattered were the things you remembered when you wrote those three strophes. You, as young people, brought it on back to that once upon a time, when the two of you were just two teenagers. And it felt like a fairy tale worth it to be remembered.
It was around 2 pm and I was having lunch with Joey and Brian. We already packed our stuff and we had like 3 hours left to meet February, Freckles and Mandy at the corner of Washtenaw Ave and S University Ave. We already planned the entire trip. We rented a bigger car because February's car was way too small for 6 people; February, Joey, Brian and I would take turns to drive because neither Freckles nor Mandy could drive; we would make a stop in Clearfield and we would spend the night there in a hotel; February reserved three rooms with double beds to reduce costs; then we would leave to NYC at 8 am, so we would be arriving there around noon. I had the feeling that the trip would be totally awesome.
"So... Tell me how Freckles' sister looks like." Joey requested, looking at me, then he turned his gaze to Brian who was very concentrated eating his sandwich. "Do you know her too, bro?" Joey asked and when Brian noticed I wasn't answering, he looked up and realized that Joey was asking him.
"Yeah, of course I know her. I also went to St. Ignatius College Preparatory and I'm of the same class as Darren, Jen and her." He answered and focused his gaze on the sandwich again.
"How is her name?" Joey asked.
"Mandy...Well, Amanda. But everybody calls her Mandy." I answered.
"Are you friends with her or she's just Freckles' sister?" Joey asked. Apparently he was very curious to know about her.
"Well, uh... We used to be friends. We actually had a very short love affair that didn't work. But, uh, since Freckles and I grew apart, well, I haven't talked to Mandy." I responded and I bit my sandwich.
"You had a love affair with the sister of your ex-girlfriend?" Joey asked, looking fixedly at me and I noticed Brian looked at me and chuckled softly. Stupid Joey and his questions.
"I had forgotten that." Brian commented. "How long have you dated?" He asked looking at me with a very amused smile.
"Uh, I think it was like... I don't know... A month, maybe?" I replied a bit unsure, to be honest, I couldn't remember.
"Yeah... She never had a long relationship with anybody." Brian commented and I nodded. "She is kind of... Well, she has..."
"Like a very strong personality?" I asked a bit amused and Brian laughed as Joey was looking at us very entertained.
"Yeah, something like that. She's kind of rude and cold, and she is probably the less affectionate person I know; but that is just the way she wants people to think about her. Deep down, she's very nice and lovely. You just have to know her way too much to see that side of her." Brian said and I nodded in agreement. Then he looked at Joey. "Mandy was the most wanted girl in high school, everybody wanted to have a love affair with her; but no one ever could interest her too much, that's why her relationships never lasted too much, most people cannot understand her. She is... a special person." He added while frowning slightly.
"Preach!" I exclaimed, totally agreeing with Brian.
"That sounds totally interesting. Are you friends with her, Brian?" Joey asked very curious.
"Yes. We became friends since... Well, you know." He answered a bit uncomfortable. He was obviously uncomfortable because he was noticeably referring to that time Freckles and I were separate. "Yes, we're good friends. She helped me a lot." He added and then he continued eating his sandwich.
"Does she look like Freckles? Because if she looks like Freckles... Holy damn, I'd be more than glad to meet her." Joey commented with a smirk.
I widened my eyes and raised my eyebrows in astonishment as Brian chocked with his sandwich, so he ended up coughing. Now I could get why he was asking too many things. He was interested in Freckles' sister, maybe he wanted to be with someone. But did he have to say something like that in front of me, Freckles' ex-boyfriend, and in front of Brian, the guy who was totally in love with Freckles? Then I remembered the first time I saw Freckles in college. Joey totally liked Freckles, he was basically admiring Freckles' ass when we met her. Yeah, he always thought Freckles was hot but he never did something because, well, because then he found out I was her ex.
"Well, they, uh... They actually... I don't know. They're sisters but, uh, I think they don't look so similar." I answered kind of uncomfortable.
They really didn't look so similar, but I couldn't tell now; because now Freckles didn't look like in high school and I didn't know how Mandy looked now. So... Yeah, I'd totally avoid answering this and I'd let Brian answer... Yeah. I'm so sorry, Brian... But you would answer this.
"I don't know... Brian, you saw Mandy lately and Freckles doesn't look like in high school... So, I think you can answer that." I said feeling a bit guilty for forcing him to answer, but I really didn't want to answer. He raised his eyebrows and coughed again, looking down and frowning.
"Well... Uh..." He began to answer, just as uncomfortable as I was feeling. "Now they look kind of similar. But actually they aren't similar." He answered and then he bit his sandwich, thinking that the answer was enough, but I knew Joey and he wasn't satisfied with that response.
"Describe me how she looks like; compare me the two sisters." Joey requested and I bit my tongue not to laugh because Brian was really uncomfortable.
"Well... Mandy... Mandy is thin, uh, not as thin as Sunny is now; but, uh, yeah. Mandy has very long hair, unlike Sunny; but it's just as soft and silky as Sunny's hair. Their noses look very similar; both of them have a perfect nose. And the eyes..." Brian began to answer and he was looking away and narrowing his eyes, as though he was picturing everything; yet he was smiling faintly. Now it seemed he forgot he was saying this in front of people. "Their eyes are completely different. Sunny's eyes are bigger, just as her eyelashes are longer; and Sunny's eyes are like brighter, they have like that twinkle that make them look really beautiful; not that Mandy's eyes aren't beautiful, but Sunny's eyes have something special that make them look mesmerizing..." He whispered as Joey and I were looking at him with eyes wide open. He totally forgot that we were listening to him. "On the other hand, their lips are very similar. Both of them like to wear red lipstick and it looks great on them. Yeah, I think their lips are very similar. Both of them are like... You know, they're well shaped with scintillating curves; they're like, you know, luscious and plump lips. And... her lips are so soft and smooth, and they taste like, so good..." He whispered with his lips parted and his gaze lost. Alright... I was feeling kind of awkward.
"Mandy's or Freckles' lips are soft, smooth and taste good?" Joey asked and I wanted to punch him because he knew the answer. Brian, finally, noticed he was in front of us so he got super uncomfortable. He even blushed a little and looked away. "Have you even kissed one of them?" He asked again as Brian bit strongly his lower lip. Yeah... has he kissed one of them? I didn't know that. Suddenly I was very interested in his answer.
"Uh..." He babbled awkwardly, scratching the nape of his neck. "No..." He answered. Lie. That was a lie and it was super obvious. He could never lie.
"Who have you kissed, Clerk? Freckles or Mandy? Tell the truth because you suck at lying!" Joey demanded and now I was looking fixedly at Brian. He was uncomfortable, but he gulped and cleared his throat. "Whose lips are soft, smooth and taste good, eh? Who have you kissed?"
"Uh... Sunny." He whispered so low that we had to make a big effort to hear. So Freckles and Brian kissed! Unbelievable!
"Are you kidding? You kissed Freckles?" Joey asked stunned.
"Uh, yeah... But it was just for work... I mean, Mandy forced us to kiss for a series of photos she needed... And, well, then another time for mistake... And, well, another time just because of a little confusion... Then once when we were in high school, but because W forced us..." He whispered uncomfortable, still scratching the nape of his neck as I raised my eyebrows in astonishment. Well, yeah, then I remembered that kiss in high school and how I hated seeing that.
"You kissed Freckles four times?" Joey asked bewildered.
"Uh... Maybe... Maybe they were five times? But, you know, they... they never lasted too much and they were like, you know, just like some sort of peck... well, except for one that was more like... you know, intense... but that was a confusion." He answered very uncomfortable as though he wanted to disappear. He finally looked up embarrassed and blushing. "Umm, can we talk about something else?" He asked but both Joey and I were shocked for knowing all of that. So, Brian and Freckles kissed. Whoa, man. I didn't know how to feel about this.
"Yeah, sure..." Joey answered when he noticed this was a fraught situation. "So, keep telling me about Mandy."
"Well, umm, she doesn't have freckles. She's really attractive and fashionable. She's classy and... Well, Mandy is not as beautiful as Sunny, but she's sexier than Sunny." He explained, now trying not to get carried away.
"How's her body?" Joey asked and Brian frowned.
"Attractive." He responded and Joey looked at him silently, as letting him know that he wanted him to elaborate. "She's tall, unlike Sunny; she has like a nice skin, she's thin, she has long legs... Um, I don't know."
"Alright... Let's be more specific... Is she as well-endowed as Freckles is? And I'm talking about tits and ass." Joey stated roundly and I bit my tongue not to laugh because of his sass as Brian chuckled, but it was like a jittery chuckle.
"Uh, her tits and ass are bigger." He responded and I laughed and nodded.
"Really?" Joey asked amazed and then smirked. "I think I like this sister."
"Remember... She is... special." Brian pointed out, now a bit amused.
"Yeah, she's not as friendly as Freckles is. She's not as kind and cheery as Freckles, dude. You'll have to be cautious, otherwise you won't return alive." I joked and Brian laughed and nodded.
"Yes, if you flirt with her... Be careful." Brian suggested.
"Oh, come on! Is she that unmoved and stern?" Joey asked as a joke, but Brian and I remained silent and we exchanged looks.
"Yes, she is." Brian and I responded at the same time, so Joey dropped his jaw.
"Alright, then, I'll be careful." He sighed and finally stopped talking and began to eat his sandwich.
We finished our lunch and Brian prepared some other sandwiches for the trip and he even baked some cookies, while Joey and I were thinking if we were forgetting about something as we were cleaning the apartment. Like this hours passed and it was now 5 pm. We were with our suitcases at the corner of Washtenaw Ave and S University Ave as we agreed and February arrived 5 minutes later with the car. We placed the suitcases in the trunk and then we waited for Freckles and Mandy. Damn, I forgot how unpunctual Freckles was.
"It's been like half an hour. Baby, why don't you call her?" February asked while looking at me.
"I'm sure they'll arrive soon." I answered as I pecked her lips.
"So, how are we gonna take turns to drive?" February asked as a way to talk about something while waiting.
"I can drive the first leg of the trip and you can drive the second leg of the trip to Clearfield. Then tomorrow, Joey and Brian can take turns, right?" I asked while looking at them.
"Right. I have no problem." Brian responded. "I could drive the first leg and you, Joey, can drive the second leg to Jen's house." He proposed.
"Yeah, that sounds good." Joey answered.
"I'm really excited about this trip!" February exclaimed cheerfully and I smiled at her. "I've never been in NYC, well actually once but I was a little kid, and it's great to spend Christmas and New Year with all of you."
"Same, gorgeous." I replied while kissing her lips very softly.
"Hey, what if something happened to them?" Joey asked kind of concerned.
"I don't think so. Sunny is just like this, she can never arrive on time and Mandy is worse yet." Brian answered.
"We'll arrive to Clearfield at 11 pm." February commented while pursing her lips and looking around to check if Freckles and Mandy were near.
"Do you want to drive the first leg so that you won't have to drive at night?" I asked while looking at February.
"Yes, I'd like that. I was always kind of afraid of driving in the highway at night." She answered and I nodded.
Right after that, we all remained silent, just checking if they were coming; and after 10 minutes, I saw Mandy and Freckles walking with their suitcases towards us. Mandy, she looked as hot as always, if not even more. It was evident she was running a clothing company, judging by the very stylish way she was dressed. I had to admit it was good to see her again, even if she was kinda resentful of me as Freckles mentioned. I was thinking we could be friends again; after all, she was one of the people who encouraged me in high school to tell Freckles what I was feeling for her, and that was something I'd never forget. I let out February's hand to walk towards Joey. I smirked amused.
"And that's Freckles' sister. She's hot, isn't she?" I whispered in his ear while looking at Mandy.
But Joey did not answer anything at all, so I looked at him. He had his eyes wide open, parted lips and raised eyebrows as though he was perplexed. He was for sure thinking she was hot, maybe hotter than what he thought. I saw how Brian walked towards them and hugged Mandy very tightly. Well, they indeed seemed to be very good friends because Mandy wasn't one to hug people. I looked at Joey again and he truly seemed to be shocked.
"Hey, man, are you alright?" I asked while frowning slightly. He did not answer; he did not even make a grimace. "Buddy, if you wanna get her, you better change your face. I can tell you're like drooling and that's not good for a first impression." I joked with a soft giggle, but he did not laugh.
Okay, what was wrong with him? Yeah, I could totally understand he was amazed by Mandy's sexiness, but this was too much. He should change his face. Now he was looking as though he was disturbed, he even shook his head slowly, with the same puzzled face.
"Joey?" I called him up as way to make him stop looking that way.
He only tilted his head, frowned slightly, and narrowed his eyes, still open-mouthed. He looked like some crazy dude. Then he finally closed his mouth and gulped. Was he breathing heavily? Seriously, what was happening? Then I saw Freckles and Mandy coming closer, Mandy too entertained chattering with Brian to look around. When they were close enough, Mandy looked at us and her wide smile vanished all of a sudden. She frowned, narrowed her eyes and parted her lips with a disturbed expression. What? Maybe Freckles didn't tell her that I was going to NYC with them, so she was absolutely disgruntled to see me. That was not a good sign; I knew her and this was definitely not a good sign. Why would she seem so disturbed to see me? Was it that bad?
"Oh my god." She exclaimed in shock.
Alright. This was not good. I felt kind of awkward now. But then I looked at her straight in the eye and I noticed she was actually not looking at me. She was looking at Joey. I slowly turned my face to Joey and I realized that both Joey and Mandy had exactly the same shocked facial expression. Brian, Freckles and I exchanged looks in suspicion, this was extremely weird. What the hell was this?
"This is not possible." Joey whispered puzzled while looking fixedly at Mandy.