Chapter 38

If the earth had opened and swallowed him up at that moment, nothing would have pleased Draco Malfoy more.

He had wanted to be back with his dad. But not like this... it was as if someone had kicked him in the guts.

It was written all over his face that his dad was displeased. His father had only ever been angry with him a hand full of times, really angry. This was clearly one of those times.

Lucius was not amused... in fact, the only one who did seem to see the 'funny side' per se was the one who he had been most worried about (until he had seen his father): Professor Dumbledore.

"Nice to see you Mr Malfoy, why don't you sit down?" he asked, as if the young Ravenclaw before him had come for tea, not to be told off. The only free seat was between his father and Severus. It was normally among Draco's favourite places to be – a secure place to be. But just then, he wasn't too sure. He would have preferred to between a Banshee and a Boggart. Or a Hippogriff and the Giant Squid even...Yet there was no other free chair.

"As I am sure you are aware of what this is about, maybe it is best we straight to the point ... unless you want a sherbet lemon, child?" Draco shook his head. Even if he did want a sweet it would only get stuck in his throat. He heard his father make a disapproving tut. "There have been a number of rumours about what went on in the dungeon this afternoon flying about the castle. Maybe you would be kind enough to reveal to me what really happened Mr Malfoy?"

It felt to Draco as if his throat had gone rather dry. A lump has risen in it. He had to admit he felt rather vulnerable and exposed.

"Come now Draco, Professor Dumbledore has asked you a question." His father encouraged him. The young boy could not decide if anger, annoyance or just pure curiosity dominated his father's foreign voice. It had none of the warmth or affection in it he was used to hearing.

"Well I –" he begun as he found his voice. It was a small one but it was there none the less. He squirmed and nervously fidgeted as he begun. "I was in Potions and me and Mandy both got it wrong and then she got in trouble for it but I didn't and it made me mad. Why should I have been let off when she wasn't?" he said quickly, wanting to get his explanation out as quick as possible.

"Mr Malfoy, are you telling me you pushed that cauldron off the desk because you didn't get told off?"

"Yes – no. I don't know." He admitted. It sounded strange and he knew it. But when he had been back in class he had been so mad – he just hadn't been able to help it. As he explained, he dare not look at his father. He was sure he was not going to like what he saw.

Dumbledore observed the boy. He seemed to be telling the truth.

"Such loyalty to your friends is to be commended Mr Malfoy," the aging headmaster begun. "But your actions are not. There are better ways to express your beliefs. I believe Professor Snape has already set your punishment? Three detentions was it not Severus?" the man gave a curt nod and Lucius gestured his approval. "Very well. Then that is enough, though Draco I must ask you to respect your professors. I am sure Professor Snape has better things to do on a Monday afternoon than clear your potion off his classroom walls." All this was said in a most relaxed tone – Dumbledore did not seem angry.

"Yes sir."

"Is there anything else gentlemen? If not, then I think it is a good idea that we should all go and get some pudding. Governor Malfoy, would you join me?"

"I think not Dumbledore. I would like to speak with my son. Alone." Draco felt as if there was a small animal in his stomach, twitching. It wasn't comfortable. "Severus, may we use your rooms?"

"Please do Lucius."

Draco watched as his father rise and he sprung up, as if to attention, though how he did not know. His legs felt as if they were made of marshmallow. The animal seemed to be scrambling to get out.

"Come on then Draco." Lucius instructed in his best 'Malfoy' tone. The young boy's eyes did not leave the floor as he left the room. As soon as Flitwick left the room, following the footsteps of father and son, Albus turned to Severus.

"Why do I get the feeling that our young Master Potter is not the only students who has brought a traumatic past with them to Hogwarts this year?"

-

"Stop. I mean it, stop these tears at once."

Lucius did not raise his voice to his son – he was not required to in order to show his displeasure.

Draco shook as he stood before his father. He hadn't been shouted at, or really punished greatly. But the shock of his father's sudden appearance had made him feel rather embarrassed and so tears slipped down his pale cheeks. When they had been on there way to his uncles rooms he had felt as if he was on a walk of shame. He found himself unable to control his emotions.

"I mean it, calm down."

Draco wiped away his tears only for them to be replaced by fresh ones. He dared to reach out to his father's hands which were clasped in front of him. If he could only break into his father's embrace then maybe things were going to be ok.

"No." Lucius insisted as he pulled back. Draco's unhappy face screwed up in frustration. They were going to talk about what he had done, one way or another mused Lucius. Transfiguring a tissue into a glass, he quickly filled it with water.

"Drink this – sip it, don't gulp," he told his son. "Deep breathes Draco."

It took a good five minutes for him to calm his son sufficiently so that they were able to have a conversation.

Once he was sure that he had calmed his son enough, he took a deep breath of his own before beginning. He had to get to the bottom of this.

"Now would you kindly remind me when I brought you up to act in such a shameful way, because I am having trouble remembering? When your uncle appeared in the fire and told me what you had done, I cannot begin to tell you how that made me feel. Not only were you disrespectful to a member of the staff, but this was your Uncle Severus. He has been there for you no matter what and I expected much better of you...much better. Then to find out that you had stormed out of class? That is how a brat behaves and no son of mine is a brat." Said the vexed senior Malfoy as he spilled out all the thoughts he had had in his head for the past hour. "For god's sake Draco, you have been out of the manor for a week. You never behaved like this at home unless Jane did a damn good job of covering it up."

Every sentence to Draco felt more painful than any slap, pinch or punch. The thought that he had disgraced his father devastated him.

"Look at me."

Draco raised his head. Till then he had kept his head on the floor. He felt tears well up in his eyes as he took in his lordly face. He had missed him so much – and he had let him down so badly.

"Did something happen? Has someone hurt you?" the question was laid down in implications yet Lucius felt as if he had been duty bound to ask it. There had only ever been pone time before he had acted so out of character. He knew for a fact that when they were in the office Severus would have checked Draco's memories. Just in case...

"No dad."

"You would tell me?" the voice that begged this question was not the same one that had said the harsh speech just a minute earlier. Draco knew that his father would feel frustrated by what he had done and then ask the more rational questions. It was the way he was.

"Yes dad. I promise you that no one hurt me."

"Then why on earth did you behave in such a manner?"

"I told you; because Uncle Severus was unfair on Mandy."

"And do you really believe that it is your place to question your uncles teaching methods? Draco, you may be his nephew but you are also his student and when you are in class I expect you to respect your uncle as much as any other child."

Draco kept his silence, wondering how many of the student's in the school actually respected Severus.

"People should not have two different sides dad. It is like he is Uncle Sev one minute and Professor Snape the next. I don't know which one is the real man."

"Of course you do..."

"No dad, I don't!" said Draco helplessly. He felt some of the fear go out of him and he felt as if he had a better hand on his emotions than he had before. He knew he did. Sitting down on the sofa, he watched as his father leant back. Lucius was not going to chaste him for sitting down, but he was not ready yet to offer comfort to him either. "I remember when I was a child – when s-she was there." He stammered. "Dad it felt as if I was going mad. She was so kind when we were with you – and then she was so mean when we were alone."

A pang of guilt hit Lucius. He knew that he could not be angry with the boy when he spoke of the agony he had been through. But at the same time, the comparison between Maria and Severus was making him feel ill. They were nothing alike. He knew that his best friend had an unsavoury side but didn't everyone?

"You weren't going mad."

"I know that now. Dad, it isn't fair. People should only have one face. They should not be like two different people...depending on who they are about."

And that was when he knew he was a hypocrite. He could not say all these things against Severus because he was the same. When he was with his father he was the perfect pureblood son. And then when he was with the Gryffindor's, he was more than happy to be a blood traitor.

Lucius missed the horrified look on his sons face. "I understand what you are trying to say son and in some ways I agree with you. It would make life a lot easier... but the world is not that simple. Life will never be that easy."

Draco felt comforted as at last his father reached out to him ruffled his hair.

"I am not happy Draco, but I understand." It seemed for now at least he was done being angry with him. "You are going to say sorry to your uncle and do your detention. When you are home at Christmas, you will not be going out on your broom either."

"Dad that isn't fair!"

"And it isn't fait your uncle had to clean up a potion he did not spill. However, that is all the punishment you will receive. Believe me, if you do something like this again you will soon learn you are getting off very lightly."

Draco knew from the tone of voice his father was using that it was pointless to argue anymore. His father had come to his decision and he was not going to budge from it. Draco had to say, he wasn't going to argue because he knew what his father was saying was right. He had never been raised to have tantrums when he did not get what he wanted. The fact he felt guilty for going against his father's wishes also played a part in him backing down so easily.

"When Severus comes back I want you to say sorry to him straight away Draco, but until then I want to hear about how your first week at school has been."

His father had a look on his face, eager for the information he had just asked for as if his life depended on it. The little animal vanished from his stomach.

Of course, the version he gave his father of his first week was to say the least the edited version. Lucius asked his son to go from the train ride when they had been split and he was careful not to mention Harry, Ron or even Michael when he was talking about his dorm companions. That made him feel worse. It was as if he was betraying everyone he loved or liked. He was betraying his father by liking these people, and yet when he was talking to his father it was as if he was ashamed to have such acquaintances. He wasn't though. He liked them all. They were his friends.

By the end of their conversation, it was as if the two of them were at the manor, and when Severus returned to his rooms to check on them he found his nephew sitting close to his father, who had wrapped an arm about shoulder while the two of them laughed together. It was as if the last week had not happened.

However as soon as he entered he watched as Lucius stiffened once more and looked to his son.

"I think Draco has something he wished to say to you Severus."

Draco nodded.

"Uncle Sev, I am really sorry for what I did today. I wanted to come and find you when I calmed down but then I got the letter from Dumbledore. I know what I did was wrong – I should have spoken to you rationally after class instead of going off like a brat. It was wrong of me – I am sorry." He said with sincerity.

He watched as his uncle crossed the room, and sat in his leather arm chair, all the while surveying the young boy before him.

"I accept and thank you for your apology Draco. I didn't mean to upset you if I did. And we can talk it all through... in detention."

Draco sighed but he knew that he was also going to have to take his punishment like a man. His father had given Severus his backing. There was no way he was going to get out of it. That much was obvious.

"Now Draco, I do believe first years have a curfew of half past eight. If you wish to avoid any more trouble, then I suggest you make your way back to your house."

Draco nodded, before turning an anxious face to his father. "You really don't mind me being a Ravenclaw?"

"I told you in my letter – I could not be more proud of you." Reassured for one last time, though still feeling guilty, Draco crossed the room.

His father kissed his forehead and gave him a loving smile. "Don't make me come up here again young man." He warned.

"I won't. Night Uncle Sev." He said coyly.

"Good night Draco."

Then turning away from the two of them, he headed to the door. As soon as he was out of it there were two audible sighs of relief in the dungeon apartments and then some quiet chuckles.

"I don't know about you brother but I think I could do with a fire whiskey." Severus said as he got up and fetched a couple of glasses.

"Yes... Sev, I am so sorry for Draco's behaviour. I do not know why came over him." Apologised Lucius. He didn't think he had ever had to say sorry for Draco before.

"It isn't your fault. I just can't believe of all the first year parents, you are the first one to have to come up here because of bad behaviour. Draco is the last person I thought would have kicked off in the way that he did... Though I think I know why he did."

"Did you look through his memories? Nothing has happened to him, has it?" he asked with anxiety weighing down his voice.

"No. Nothing like that. Now it is you who needs to calm down."

"I am sorry Severus. It's just when I think of what might have happened..." Lucius sighed. Sev knew he had been scared for a minute.

"You know, I know at times this must seem a strange concept, but Draco can be bad all of his own accord. He is just child after all." Severus reminded him.

"I know he is."

"However, this time I think I have to hold my hands up to helping him along the way." The curious look on his friends face forced Severus to go further and he told him all about the conversation the two of them had had on Saturday. After the day he had had, Sev wished he had paid more mind to what the lad had been saying. He could have saved them all from a lot of trouble.

Lucius though remained pensive. While he too wished that Severus had realised that when Draco had come to him he had been serious, he also appreciated that whet he had said to Draco was also true. He had no place telling Severus how to teach his classes. He had an over view of the situation and could see both sides of it clearly.

"Be that as it may, he was still wrong to act in the way he did. I can at least derive some comfort from the fact that he did go to you first and try to talk things through."

Severus knew that his friend had a lot going through his head and Lucius was not going to settle until he got it out of his system. Neither of them had ever known the little one to behave in the way he had.

"Lucius, if it helps, I think he might have just been letting off a bit of steam."

Lucius shook his head, knowing he was probably making too much of a big deal out of what happened but it made him think a lot about the way he had brought his son up. Kids were naughty every day of the week. It was the kind of thing other parents wouldn't bat an eyelid at. But not Draco; Draco was rarely, if ever naughty.

"Do you think I did a good job Severus? I mean bringing him up?"

"Lucius..." Severus felt exasperated. He had been one of the only people on Lucius' side from day one when it had come to him bringing the lad up single handily. He had always known he was insecure when it came to parenting, to say the least. Especially after... "You are going to have to come to terms with what happened someday and the fact it was not your fault. What Maria did was appalling, monstrous. But the minute you realised what was going on, you made sure she could never get to Draco again. You forget apart from that your son had a very happy childhood... It was what, three, four months? Then it was over." He said, trying to reason with him. "How many of Draco's class mates woke up to a hug each morning and finished the day with a kiss on their heads?"

"Maybe I was too protective... gave too much affection to him." He said questioningly.

Severus though on this for a moment. He had been raised in a home which was the direct opposite to the one that his friend had brought Draco up in. Rather than stop the abuse when he found out, it had been going on his dad had been the one who had been beating him.

"Severus, all I wanted to do was protect him from the world – I thought that was what Cissy would have wanted me to do. In trying to follow what she would have wanted for him, I forgot what I wanted for him; to be strong, independent and happy. Instead, I think perhaps I kept him too innocent." Lucius muttered, trying to put his feelings into words. "I think at times he has a rather simple view of life. That isn't his fault – it's mine. He thinks there are two sorts of people on this planet Severus – the good and the bad, he thinks life is black and the white; I forgot to teach him there are a hell of a grey areas too. Now he has to face them unprepared."

"Lucius, need I remind you that you were not a father before you had Draco? You did the best job you knew how to do under the circumstances. You lost Cissy but you kept going... I admire you for that."

The two men looked at in another. Had there been a cross roads with the boys when they had picked the wrong option? Most likely they were never going to know. In another parallel universe, perhaps the events of that day hadn't happened. But then again, in a parallel universe Draco might still be putting up with his wicked stepmother and suffering for it.

Lucius had always gone with his heart and he had tried his best. To change the past was impossible.

But the future was never set in stone.

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