Teenage Dream

by Lucy Samb

You/ Darren Criss fanfic. The story is about your life with Darren in high school, college and professional life among friendship,love,fights,comings and goings and how you both go through serious stuff such as bullying,suicide,discrimination and life itself. It starts when you meet Darren, a guy of your school in St. Ignatius College Preparatory who never noticed you, a loser.

64. Merry Christmas

A/N: And I'm back with a new chapter! How have you been, guys? I'll make this short not to bore you, but I wanna tell you something amazing that has happened to me. For the very first time, after four years, Darren has noticed me! Yay! He answered the question I posted in this new social media that he is using, Mobio INsider. It was such a stupid question because I obviously never thought he would read and answer that question, I really wasn't expecting it; so you can imagine my squeal when I saw he did answer the question! My stupid body started trembling and my heart was about to explode. I felt so happy, you can't even imagine! And well, that was my amazing news! Now, I really hope you can enjoy this new chapter! I promise I'll try to do my best to develop the story faster, so that you won't get too bored of reading a lot of more chapters. Everything told, I will start replying the reviews!

eternityforklaine21: Hi, Jodie! Yes, fortunately I did have a good New Year and a good start! How about you? I'm glad you started to warm up to Brian! He's a nice guy, despite he is starting to 'rebel', and sometimes in a positive way like when he stood up to February, as you said. Yes, I know it's sad and upsetting what's happening to Brian and his dad, but sometimes unfair things in life happens and it's up to us the way we take it, I think. It's interesting to know your opinion about February! I don't wanna spoil anything, so I'd just say that I also think it was about time that Darren faced her and her irrational behavior; now it's time to see how they relationship develops, if it'd be in a good or bad way; also how her relationship with Freckles is gonna be now that she apologized, regardless if she was honest or not. I guess February is a prone character to suspect of. You think Darren is taking it for granted a little bit? Well, that's a wise thing to think! You are the first person who tells me that it isn't fair that Freckles has to sit and watch Darren and February all loved up as a couple and stand Darren's jealousy, as if she couldn't be with anyone. So, I'm glad you think that! It's really cute what you said about Darren and Freckles, and I liked this: "I want Darren to finally realise that no matter what, Freckles is the one for him." I will keep it in mind! Now, as to your question, I really wanted to reach the 100th chapter and end the story there, I don't know why, one of those silly goals you set for no particular reason. But... I don't know if I'll reach the 100th chapter. To be honest, I think the story is starting to get tedious and you've already had enough of comings and goings and I have the feeling it's starting to get annoying. A lot of things still have to happen in the story in order to develop it as I have in mind; but I'll try to do my best to hurry things, because I guess nobody likes an endless story. Therefore, I actually don't know how many chapters I'm gonna write! I'll try to make them as few as possible! Don't whine at me! Whine at the cliffhangers! haha. I'm sorry I didn't update earlier! If during this week I manage to finish the chapter I'm currently writing, I'll update earlier!

santana12226: What is gonna happen? haha. It was very obvious, wasn't it? Damn, I need to learn not to make things too obvious, don't you think? My version of gangster talk! You have no idea how hard it was for me to write those few lines in gangster! I actually didn't learn, it just took me a lot of time to research about it and how a gangster life is and what their expressions and idioms mean. I found a gangster dictionary on internet and I spent days reading all of their idioms and then trying to translate in gangster idiom what I wanted to write in ordinary idiom. Perhaps I didn't do it completely right, but I tried my best! Now, ship queen, I have a job for you: In this chapter you have to name three ships, you will know who, I guess. A little help: One is Joey with someone, the other is Jen with someone, and the other is Chuck with someone. And if you want to add another ship, feel free to do it! Aw! Marin Headlands! That will always be the best place in world for Darren and Freckles. I had to bring back those good old days. And Freckles didn't piss you off! That's a progress! Let's see what you'll think about Freckles after this chapter...

Emma: You're back, Emma! Don't worry about not reviewing the chapters, for me it's really important to know that you take time to read the story despite your surely very busy schedule! I have experience in college, so I exactly know that the first year of college is probably one of the hardest; there are too many changes, too many different activities, too many new things to learn, and I'm not just talking about the things they teach you in college but about life in general. It's kind of crazy. I am terribly sorry to hear about your dad. From experience, I know cancer is one of the worst diseases. What is his stage? I wish I could tell you something to comfort you, but I know that when it comes to this kind of stuff, comforting words usually sound poor and don't help. Therefore, all I can say is that I wish he can get better and whatever you need, if you need to vent and tell someone something, you can count on me, if you wanna tell something very private, you can find me on Twitter and DM me or I can give you my email address. Also, I'm really sorry to hear that your holidays were awful. I'm gonna quote a song: "Behind the clouds, the sun is shining. Believe me even though you can't quite make it out. You may not see the silver lining, but there's a big blue sky waiting right behind the clouds". It's a cliché, but I believe it's indeed like that. I think I can help you with that, because it happened to me three years ago and it lasted 8 months, you can imagine how badly it affected my health. Seriously. It comes a point when everything is stressful and that same stress is what leads you to have emotional troubles, therefore, it leads you to feel like you don't want to talk to anybody, nothing stimulates you and nothing makes you smile, you can feel extremely grumpy, too, and you start acting in a rude and aggressive way even if you don't intend to. It makes you feel annoyed with everybody, but you're actually annoyed with yourself. You're constantly feeling like you're at the verge of exploding and exploding for real. That's what happens within you, but also we have the other sides... You stop caring about yourself, your outer appearance and your health. The first thing you do is to stop eating properly and the more people tell you to eat more, the less you eat because they keep adding stress and it's stress what caused you to stop eating properly. When you stop eating properly you feel tired, dizzy, sick, and nauseous (as you said); it affects your ability of concentration and, consequently, your academic performance; your thinking becomes slower as well as you reflexes; even your body movements start being clumsy; it makes you feel grumpy and it affects your social development. You see, it's like a vicious circle. And it gets worse over time, trust me, you can experience a lot of terrible things and I really hope you don't get to experience it. Now, in my case, it stopped because I pushed the envelope and it ended in a real bad way, so I had to stop it forcibly. But I want you to do your best to prevent it. So, here's my advice and I know you'll think you can't do it right now because you don't have time for that or because there are more important things to do (it's what I thought and what led me to end up really bad); but you MUST do it, your health is more important than anything. First off, it's been a while since the last time you ate properly and you can't start eating more all of a sudden because your stomach is no longer used to it; so I'll suggest you to start by drinking smoothies (like nut butter or carrot juice), fruit juice or organic skim milk, because liquids aren't as filling as solid food and they can add nutrition without making you feel stuffed. Then start adding a little more food each day, and eat a lot of almonds (they are packed with protein and other nutrients), banana, nuts, dried fruit, and healthy, but dense foods. Then, sleep more; you need to sleep more in order to recover your energy and be able to function properly; try your best to sleep at least 8 hours, even if it seems like impossible to do in your current situation. And most importantly and you must do it: Take a break from everything. Take free time to relax. Now, each person has their own way to relax; what works with me is to travel somewhere, not to a city, but somewhere where I can connect with nature, the sounds of nature and the non-polluted air is pretty effective, especially if you go somewhere where you can hear the sound of water. Now, when I feel like I'm about to explode, I travel, alone and with a book to read; I don't bring with me my phone or anything, just an iPod to listen to music and a camera. It works to me, you can try it and see if it works to you, too. It will improve your mood, you'll start seeing everything in a positive way; therefore, the rest will get better, because your level of stress will be reduced. If you want to succeed in college, you first have to take care of yourself and your health; I learned that forcibly and you're still on time to learn it without suffering worse things that will happen if you don't take care of yourself. I totally sounded like a grumpy mother, but trust me, it is like that! I hope my advice can help you! About the story, all I will tell you is this: You are really clever and very sharp-eyed! You guessed what the real deal is about a month ago!

Well, well, well, that was all for today! I'll come back in two or three weeks with a new chapter! I hope you're enjoying the story and you didn't get tired of it! Now, I wish you the best of the best! Warm fuzzies and see (?) you soon!

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TEENAGE DREAM

Chapter 64

Merry Christmas

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All of us were looking at Joey and Mandy in suspicion. The way they were looking at each other was really weird and none of us could understand anything; therefore none of us spoke, we were just very attentive to Mandy and Joey's actions. But they seemed to be very stunned to talk.

"This is not possible." Joey was the first to talk and all of us looked at him. He was still shocked and he was shaking his head. "I mean... You are... You're Freckles' sister and they told me... They told me your name is Mandy." He said and Mandy looked down and bit her lower lip. Yeah, I couldn't get this. "But... Dammit. Michelle?" Joey asked while frowning and narrowing his eyes. Mandy looked up and grinned faintly.

"Yes... That's my middle name. Amanda Michelle... And you? My sister told me I was gonna meet her friend called... Joey? But you... You said your name is Michael." Mandy responded and I dropped my jaw.

Did they meet each other? How was this even possible? There was no way on earth they could be connected someway. No freaking way. He was never in San Francisco and I think he was never in LA, where Mandy resided now. But they did know their names and no one has introduced them yet. I exchanged a look with Freckles and she just seemed to be as confused as I was.

"Yes, I am Joseph Michael." Joey assured and then a smile spread across his face while looking fixedly at Mandy. "I can't believe this."

"Me either. I... I thought I was never gonna see you again. I'm glad I was wrong." Mandy replied and she grinned widely.

Hold on... Was Mandy smiling at a stranger? Well, they didn't seem to be strangers... But... This made no sense. What puzzled me was when Mandy walked closer towards Joey and they embraced as though they were lifelong friends. This was extremely odd if you knew that she wasn't one of those people who used to hug others. So I looked at Freckles and Brian and they were stunned as me, looking at Joey and Mandy open-mouthed.

"I... Crap, I've been looking for you since we parted. I... I also thought I was never gonna see you again; but then you... Then you appeared in the most unexpected moment! Holy shit!" Joey exclaimed cheerfully in the middle of the embrace.

"If I have to be honest, I've also been looking for you but I never could find anything of you. The pact we made? That was absolutely stupid." Mandy responded.

After a while she parted to look into Joey's eyes with the biggest smile I've ever seen on her face as Joey took both of her hands and smiled just as widely. Damn, I couldn't understand this. Seriously, they seemed to be speaking in some sort of secret code. I wanted an explanation.

"Can we undo that pact?" Joey asked and she chuckled and nodded energetically.

"Yes, we can!" She responded in a very excited way, something that seemed too weird to me.

That was nothing compared to what happened next. Joey placed both of his hands on her cheeks and, without hesitating, he leaned to pull Mandy into a very passionate kiss, a kiss that was reciprocated. Alright, what the damn hell? I literally dropped my jaw, raised my eyebrows and widened my eyes in complete astonishment. My best friend, a guy who always seduced someone before the action, was kissing my ex-girlfriend's sister, a super cold and not affectionate person; and they were never introduced, it was supposed they did not know each other; but there were they, kissing in that... way. I glanced at Freckles and Brian and they were with the same facial expression than me.

"Whoa." I heard Brian exclaiming bewildered. Then he looked at Freckles and she just shrugged.

"What's happening, baby? I thought they didn't know each other." February whispered in my ear, also confused.

"I have no idea. I thought the same than you." I answered also in a whisper.

"Hey! Hey you kissers!" Freckles called up and Mandy and Joey finally stopped kissing to look at Freckles, both of them grinning brightly. "Can you explain what the hell is going on here?" Freckles demanded, frowning. Mandy and Joey exchanged looks and they giggled. Another thing to add to the weird-things-happening list.

"Sister... Remember I told you I met a guy I'd never seen again but who had made me feel as any other guy?" She asked and Freckles narrowed her eyes in suspicion and nodded. "I was talking about your friend Joey, only that I didn't know he was your friend." She answered grinning.

"Did I really make you feel like any other guy?" Joey asked with an amused smirk and Mandy looked at him, nodded and giggled, as he kissed her again. Then Joey looked at Freckles. "Freckles, remember I told you I was never really into a girl until I met someone in summer, in Chicago to be precise; a girl I could never forget and I was trying to find?" Joey asked and Freckles' face reflected amazement.

"Is... Is my sister Mandy your... your summer love affair?" Freckles asked gingerly with trembling voice.

"Yes." Joey answered with a bright smile, looking at Mandy and wrapping an arm around her.

"Holy crap." Freckles exclaimed dumbfounded.

Fuck, fuck, fuck. This was impossible! Was Mandy Joey's summer hook up? Was Mandy the girl Joey was obsessed with all this time? Mandy? Freckles' sister? She and Joey? The famous summer hook up? I ran a hand through my hair as I slowly shook my head. This was messy. This was unreal. I'd have never imagined something like this and, judging by Freckles' face, she either.

"I can't believe you're Freckles' sister! This is so crazy!" Joey exclaimed and I thought I've never seen him so happy. Then he looked at me and I kinda froze. "See, Criss? I found my summer hook up! I told you it wasn't an insane idea." He pointed out with a triumphant chuckle.

"Yeah, my bad." I responded, still stunned. Mandy, finally, looked at me and she did not look so happy now.

"Sorry, all of this just made me forget that you were here." She stated while looking at me and I just nodded. She walked towards me and she extended her hand. Again, the reserved Mandy. I remembered she was resentful to me. "Hi, Darren. Long time no see." She greeted kind of formally, shaking hands.

"Yeah, it's really nice to see you again, Mandy. Freckles told me about your success in LA with your clothing company. Congratulations, I know how much this mean to you, it's what you've always dreamed of." I said gently, with a friendly smile; but she just grinned faintly and nodded.

"Thank you." She answered curtly. Yeah, being friends with her again was gonna be super hard. Then Mandy looked at February from head to toe. "And you must be Darren's girlfriend, February, right?" Mandy asked.

"That's right. It's nice to meet you. Your sister and Brian always talk about you. I must say I admire your designs, I love all the clothing you designed for your sister." February answered with the most joyful smile. Oh, I forgot she loved all things related to fashion.

"You're really nice, February. I wonder why you're with Darren, then." Mandy replied almost in a whisper, raising an eyebrow.

February frowned slightly as the rest of us just looked down, uncomfortable. Freckles was probably the one who was feeling most uncomfortable, as I just felt kind of humiliated. That sounded sort of rude. Okay, Mandy only had a problem with me.

"Maybe when we arrive to NYC I can design something for you to wear for Christmas. What do you think?" Mandy asked while looking at February.

"Oh my god! I'd love that!" February squealed in excitement and Mandy chuckled.

"I'll do it." She assured, then she looked at all of us... Well, at everybody except me; it was as if she was pretending I wasn't there. "Well, what about that trip to NYC, eh?" She asked merrily.

"Yes, let's go!" Joey answered excitedly.

We put Mandy and Freckles' suitcases on the trunk and we all got in the car. February was the one who would start driving, so I sat on the passenger seat. Mandy and Joey sat on the third-row seating and Freckles and Brian sat on the second-row seating. Like this, our trip began. I couldn't stop looking at Mandy and Joey through the rearview mirror; they were cuddling, kissing, laughing and chattering. Joey... I never saw Joey so comfortable with a girl; it seemed he really liked Mandy. This was odd to see. I noticed that Freckles and Brian were also looking at them surreptitiously; maybe it was also weird to them to see Mandy and Joey together. Yet, after a while, Freckles seemed to be happy to see them together. After an hour of our trip of just looking at Mandy and Joey, I started talking to February to entertain her while driving. Everybody seemed to be having a good time, except Brian. I noticed something weird was happening to him and Freckles since days and I couldn't get what; Freckles was talking to Mandy and Joey, completely ignoring Brian when he tried to talk to her; so he, resigned, was now looking through the window in silence. I felt bad for him, so I tried to include him in my conversation with February.

"Hey, buddy!" I called him up. "Tell us about your new project. Guys, did you know that Brian is thinking about publishing a book?" I asked loudly, looking at all of them.

Joey smiled because he already knew it, Mandy looked at me in suspicion, and Freckles finally noticed him and looked at him in disbelief, as though she was annoyed because of this. Why? What was happening to her? Brian just blushed, grinned faintly and shifted a bit uncomfortable.

"Well, it's just an idea, it's not sure but..." Brian started saying.

"Thank you for letting me know about it. It's cool to know about your projects this way." Freckles interrupted him in a sarcastic way and then she looked away, clenching her jaw.

Everybody looked at her stunned because she was never this rude and sarcastic. Brian raised his eyebrows and looked at her as though he was astonished and kind of hurt because of what she said.

"I wanted to tell you but I..." He started saying.

"You know what? Forget about it." Freckles cut him off and he frowned, bit his lips and looked down. "Guys! Tell me how you met!" She exclaimed, looking at Joey and Mandy, ignoring Brian again.

Mandy and Joey, uncomfortable and knowing that if they didn't change the subject this was gonna be a fraught situation, started telling how they met. I looked at Brian and I saw he was again looking through the car window, this time with a bit distressed facial expression. Freckles was really rude; Brian was about to tell about his project of publishing a book, something that meant a lot to him and she just ignored it as if it wasn't something important or as if she didn't care. Like this our trip continued, all of us just listening about Mandy and Joey's experiences in Chicago.

---

Darren was driving and you were just twenty minutes away from Clearfield. It was already 11 pm and you all were tired; however you all had a good time that you didn't even realize it was that late. You all played some games, sang and played Darren's guitar, joked, told stories, and talked a lot about several stuff. You were still kind of bewildered about the fact that your sister was Joey's summer hook up as he told you that time, and you couldn't believe that Joey was the guy your sister mentioned you. It was strange to see them together hugging, flirting and kissing as if this was the normal thing to do; but after 5 hours of traveling with them like that, you got used and you even approved it. After all, Mandy was your sister and Joey was your friend and you loved both of them. You thought it was great that your sister finally found a guy with whom she could feel comfortable; it's been a while since the last time you saw her so peppy and cheerful. Now you knew how they met, what they did the first time they met and how they liked each other since the first time; you also got to know the pact they had and how their separation was. It was like you knew everything about them and now it seemed to you that they've been together like since forever. What if they ended up together forever? What if they started like a very committed relationship? Joey would be like your family. When you thought about this, you smiled widely. You totally liked this idea; hopefully they would get married and they would have tons of babies. Okay, you had to stop fantasizing about this, but you loved it. After twenty minutes, you were in Clearfield, in the lobby of the Rodeway Inn hotel, where February reserved three rooms with double beds. When February and Darren walked to the reception to talk to the hotel concierge and when Joey and Brian got entertained looking at the place while talking about something that looked like a horror movie, Mandy walked towards you with a bright grin. Finally time alone to talk to her.

"So Joey, huh?" You asked with a mischievous smirk.

"I simply can't believe that your friend was my hook up. I think I never loved you more, sister. And that's much to say because you know I never ever say something like this unless is extremely necessary, like now, so you better don't get used." Mandy responded and you couldn't help chuckling. By now, you knew this was just the way she was and not because she was mean or rude.

"Hmm, you better be grateful because if it hadn't been because of me and how much I insisted you to come, you'd probably have never seen Joey again. And now that I'm thinking about it, I believe you owe me one, Amanda. Yeah... You'll have to do something for me." You smirked very amused, looking fixedly at your sister. Oh yeah, finally you were winning her.

"What? Oh my god, little sis. You're learning from me, I can tell." Mandy stated while nodding. "Alright, just because I feel proud of you because you're learning from me, I'll do whatever you want just as long as it's not helping you to wax your bikini line." She said firmly and you frowned and couldn't help laughing.

"Don't worry, it's all clear down there, so it's not gonna be that. I still have to think about something, but be prepared, sis." You answered and she nodded. "Alright, just for now we could agree that I'll sleep next to the window and if there's a TV on the room, I'll choose what to watch, not you. Okay?" You asked because you were a bit tired of Mandy watching all of those fashion shows all the time.

"Oh, talking about it...Uh, I wanna ask you a favor and you have to say 'Yes, sister, I'll do it for you because I'm really nice and I want you to be happy'. Can you do that?" Mandy asked looking eagerly at you, so you looked at her in suspicion.

"I don't like when you talk like that. What do you want, Amanda?" You asked a bit amused and bit suspicious.

"Oh well, I was thinking that maybe I could share the bedroom with Joey. You know, we have to catch up and we need time alone and I really but really wanna be with him now that I finally found him." Mandy answered and you looked down and bit your lower lip. "I want to be with him as much as possible because you know how hard it's for me to feel interested in a guy and now that I found that guy, I just want to try it. And... Considering you and Brian are best friends, I guess there won't be a problem if we switch bedrooms. I share the bedroom with Joey and Brian shares the bedroom with you and everything is cool. So?" She asked insistently, totally ignoring the fact that you were showing you didn't like this idea.

Sure, it wouldn't be the first time you'd share a bedroom with Brian and it wouldn't be the first time you'd share the same bed than him; you did it several times... But now things weren't like before. Lately you couldn't feel comfortable around Brian and not because you knew he had feelings for you because you talked to him about this already and you agreed you'd be just friends and you'd try to figure things out; but you were feeling uncomfortable around him because he wasn't acting as before and everything with him was weird now. He barely spent time with you, he barely talked to you, and he barely had time for you. It was as though he didn't want you near; because he did have time to talk to Jen about everything about his dad, but he did not have time to call you or even text you to let you know that his dad recently underwent deep brain stimulation; he did have time to tell Darren and Joey that he was thinking about publishing a book, something that was a big deal for him and something you've tried to convince him to do since you read his first text, but he did not had a second to let you know he wanted to do it; and a lot of more things like those. Before, you were the first to know about all of those things about him and that made you feel like you were indeed best friends; now it seemed you were the last to know, even February knew things about Brian that you still didn't know. So yeah, you were kinda feeling that you and Brian weren't friends; the time you were separate without talking and without seeing each other made you feel like that. Therefore, you weren't comfortable at all with Mandy's proposal. You sighed heavily and looked at your sister very serious.

"I'm sorry, Mandy. I love you and I want you to be happy, but I don't wanna share the bedroom with Brian and less to share the bed with him. I just don't want it, I'd feel absolutely awkward." You responded roundly as she frowned in confusion.

"Why? Come on, sister. You've shared a bed with him thousands of times and you never felt awkward! You're best friends, it shouldn't feel awkward. Yeah, now you know he's in love with you and all that shit, but yesterday night we talked about it and you told me that you and him kinda overcame that because he clarified he did not want to take your relationship to other level." Mandy responded, still frowning, but now in suspicion. "Is there something wrong with him that you didn't tell me? Because I noticed the way you've been treating him during the trip. You kind of ignored him and whenever he tried to talk to you, you just cut him off or said rude words or simply ignored him as if he didn't exist. And that's really weird because you are best friends." Mandy kind of reproached and you huffed, now annoyed.

"Brian and I are no longer best friends, okay? I even believe we're not friends at all. We used to, but that's in the past, now everything is different and I feel like I don't know him anymore. I feel bad and terribly uncomfortable when I'm near him. Hence, I don't wanna share a bedroom with him because I came here to have fun not to have a crappy moment; and the only way I'll have a good time is if I stay away from Brian as much as possible. So I'm so sorry, but I won't share a bedroom with him. Maybe... Maybe Joey and you would find another way." You responded really fast, almost slurring your words, in a very annoyed way and barely thinking about what you were saying.

Those words just came out your mouth because it was something you've been keeping inside for a while now. When you looked at Mandy you noticed she was puzzled, raising her eyebrows with her eyes wide open and her lips parted. Oh great, now the part she would scold you or something. You forgot how much she hearted him; to her, Brian was like the brother you and she never had. But when you looked closely, you noticed she was not looking into your eyes, she was looking behind you and then she looked down in an uncomfortable and distressed way before biting her lower lip.

"What?" You asked loudly, feeling upset, crossing your arms above your chest and frowning.

When you admitted the fact that your sister would not answer, you, slowly, turned your face to look behind you. Brian was standing right there with your suitcase. He was looking down and his face reflected sorrow. He totally heard what you said. Damn, you were now feeling embarrassed and terrible. He wasn't supposed to hear this; he wasn't supposed to know what you were thinking about him and your friendship with him. You were frozen and speechless, and of course you were feeling terribly guilty. While looking fixedly at him, you bit strongly your lips and gulped. What would you say now to fix this?

"Brian..." You whispered gingerly, with trembling voice. He looked up but he didn't look at you, he looked at your sister.

"Mandy, don't worry, you can share the bedroom with Joey. And... Well, don't worry, Sunny, we won't share the bedroom. Here, I brought your suitcase, I thought you'd need it." Brian stated avoiding your gaze and leaving the suitcase on the floor, without even handing it to you. Yet, his voice sounded gentle as usual. He placed his hands in the pockets of his jacket and looked away. "I'll get another room... Goodnight." He said before turning around to walk away.

"Brian, wait." You whispered and of course he didn't listen. You looked down and you began to feel like a bad person.

"Will you let him doing so, sister? Don't be like that. You know he doesn't have the money and it's not like it'll be the first time you'll share a bedroom. It's just for tonight." Mandy pointed out and you sighed and nodded.

Without saying anything at all, you walked towards Brian who was waiting to talk to the hotel concierge who was still talking to Darren and February. Mandy said it, it'd be just for tonight and there were no reasons to be so rude with him. When you were close, you looked at him and he knew you were there, yet he didn't talk and he didn't look at you.

"Brian, I don't have any problem to share a bedroom with you." You whispered so that Darren and February wouldn't hear you.

"I heard you." He responded curtly.

"Well, I didn't know what I was saying. I don't want you to be mad. Come on, just let's go to the bedroom and..." You began to say but he interrupted you, still looking away.

"Stop it, Sunny. I'll get another room and that way no one would feel awkward. I'm not mad, I just don't wanna make you feel uncomfortable. So, just leave it there because we're here to have a good time as you said." He stated gently, always avoiding your gaze. You looked down and felt bad.

"You won't make me feel uncomfortable." You replied shyly. He, finally, looked at you and his gaze broke your heart. His green eyes just looked so distressed.

"Yes, I will." He whispered with a sad half-smile. "But it's fine, really. We can just forget about it and focus on having a good time. Don't worry about this silly thing." He said and you looked down and sighed.

"Can I help you, gentleman?" Suddenly the hotel concierge asked and Brian shifted his glare to him.

"Yes, I'd want a single room..." You heard Brian requesting politely.

"Freckles, can you accompany me? I forgot my suitcase in the car." February asked.

"Sure." You responded cheerless.

"Wait!" Darren exclaimed. "Here's the key of your room." He said handing you a key and you took it. "I'll give this other key to Joey." He announced and then walked away.

You accompanied February to the car, she took her suitcase and by the time you returned to the lobby, no one was there. You took your suitcase that was still where Brian left it and then you and February walked to the rooms. Your room was next to her and Darren's room. You said goodnight and headed to your room. You put on your pajamas and lay down on bed, alone. You fell asleep thinking you acted like a selfish person, but you couldn't help it. You'd really feel uncomfortable sharing a bed with Brian, even if he acted nice and all. Well, maybe next day would be a better day.

Next day, the alarm woke you up. It was 7 am. Yes, you would leave the hotel at 9 am instead of 8 am because you arrived there later than planned and you all needed to rest well, but you totally forgot to change the alarm. Instead of sleeping a little more, you got up and you took a shower. After that, you changed and you took your suitcase to leave the room. You were thinking you could walk a bit before getting in the car to spend 5 hours in there to arrive to NYC. You returned the keys of the hotel room and then you headed outside. Holy crap, it was freezing and snowing. Maybe the idea of walking was a bad idea, after all; but you wouldn't regret. You walked towards the car to put your suitcase in the trunk and walk more lightly. When you did it, you noticed that the windows of the car were fogged. Weird. You put the suitcase in the trunk and then you opened one door of the car to look for the scarf you forgot in there. And there you saw Brian. He was fast asleep in the third-row seating, curled up in a ball in a very uncomfortable position because he was way too tall to fit lying in there, covering his upper body with his jacket and slightly shaking. No freaking way. No way. You didn't want to think he spent the night in the car, freezing in there. You softly shook his shoulder to wake him and he woke up alarmed until he noticed you were the person who woke him.

"Dammit, Sunny. You scared the crap out of me." He articulated with husky voice, sitting, rubbing his eyes and massaging his neck as if he had a muscle spasm.

"Did you sleep in the car?" You asked in all seriousness.

"Uh, well, yeah. Yes, there were no available rooms, so..." He responded still with husky voice, shrugging.

"Why didn't you let me know, Brian?" You asked in disbelief now frowning.

"I just didn't want to make you feel uncomfortable." He answered and now you noticed it wasn't husky voice, it was congested voice. "It wasn't that bad, though. The car has comfortable seats." He added and then he sneezed. "It was better than sleeping in that bed I had when I was renting that apartment before I moved to Darren's apartment." He tried to joke with a chuckle that ended up being a whooping cough.

"Move, so I can sit." You requested gently and he nodded and moved a little. You sat next to him and closed the car door. "Give me your back, it seems you have muscle spasms." You demanded and he nodded and did what you said after coughing. You placed your hands on his broad shoulders and you began to massage them in deep and small circles as he groaned in pain and sneezed again. "You should have told me you didn't get a room, Brian." You reproached and sighed.

"I'm sorry." He responded and coughed again.

"See? Now it seems you caught a cold." You complained.

"I'm sorry." He repeated.

"Stop saying you're sorry, Brian. You know what? Yesterday night you should have yelled at me saying I am a stupid, immature and selfish girl; but no, all you do is to be gentle and nice and apologize for things you shouldn't apologize. You should change it, you should let people know when they're acting in a wrong way." You commented while massaging his neck as he was groaning in pain.

"Well, you know I can't change that. It's the way I am. And I don't think you're a stupid, immature and selfish person. I just think you should have told me that you're feeling uncomfortable of being near me because I wasn't aware of it." He answered and you sighed heavily.

"Why have you changed, Brian? Why?" You asked, now a bit irked.

"Excuse me?" He asked but in a gentle and confused way. "Have I changed? What do you mean?"

"You're not as you used to be. I feel like I don't know you because you're acting in a weird way." You confessed, now pressing the nape of his neck with your thumbs as he moaned.

"I don't get your point, Sunny." He replied, still confused.

"Yes, you know what I mean... It's just this way..." You began to say but you were interrupted.

"Hey, guys! What are you doing? I thought we agreed to leave one hour later!" Darren exclaimed cheerfully, knocking the window of the car. So opportune, you thought sarcastically.

"Leave it there, Brian. We'll talk later, alone." You huffed and then you got out the car, leaving him confused. "Good morning, Dare!" You greeted joyfully, giving him a hug. "I just woke up and came here for my scarf. What about you?" You asked as you noticed Brian got out the car and shook his hand with Darren.

"Good morning, dude." Brian greeted with his congested voice.

"Whoa! It seems someone caught a cold." Darren exclaimed.

"Oh, it's nothing." Brian answered while shrugging.

"Well, I was looking for my wallet; I forgot it here last night. We're about to have breakfast, it's included in the cost of the room. Will you join us?" Darren asked.

"Sure." Brian and you answered at the same time.

You, Brian and Darren headed to the hotel and there you joined Mandy, Joey and February who were already having breakfast. All of them seemed to be happy and very excited to arrive to NYC, so your mood improved considerably. At 10 am, an hour later than planned, you got in the car and this time Brian was the one driving, so you sat on the passenger seat, considering Darren wouldn't stop being next to February and Mandy and Joey wouldn't stop kissing and hugging. Great, a trip shared with two couples and your friend not so friend. Anyway, you managed to have a good time while talking to Darren and February who were the ones who were sitting in the second-row seating. After three hours, Brian and Joey switched seats and Joey began to drive and Mandy, of course, requested to sit on the passenger seat. Therefore, you sat next to Brian in the third-row seating but fortunately he spent the rest of the trip sleeping because of his cold. At 4 pm you arrived to Jen's house. Holy crap! Jen wasn't lying when she said she had a big house. Seriously, you were amazed. It looked like one of those houses which appeared in magazines. The house was designed in a single floor based on courtyards which contained a large variety of vegetation, including trees, flowers and shrubbery. It was built from a series of slabs that formed horizontal layers containing planters and the roof; these slabs were perforated or supported on exposed concrete or stone walls, which were accented by floor to ceiling glass and large open expanses to the outdoors, and it also had large sliding glass doors which opened to a generous exterior terrace made of deck. All of you were standing in front of the car with your respective suitcases, just admiring the house in amazement.

"I wanna live here." Mandy whispered stunned.

"I think we all want so. It looks so modern." February responded.

"I'll feel so depressed when I return to that small apartment in which we live in Ann Arbor, man." Darren commented.

"I completely love the courtyards." You whispered, thinking that you always wanted to have a home with a big courtyard in which you relax on your spare time.

"Look at that hammock. It's the perfect place to read a book." Brian said in a whisper.

"Maybe we should let Jen know that we arrived. I really wanna see the interior of this house." Joey proposed and you all walked to the front door.

There was a ring at the door and Darren rang it. Then all of you waited patiently to Jen to open the door. After few seconds, Jen appeared with the brightest smile; she seemed to be very happy and excited.

"Oh my god! Finally you're here, guys!" She exclaimed cheerfully and she greeted each one of you with a hug. "Come on, come in!" She requested and so you did.

When you got in, you all gasped in amazement. Oh dear, you've never seen a more beautiful house than this one. The spaces were truly spacious and illuminated and even inside the house there was a courtyard. The living room featured a centrally located free–standing fireplace and sliding glazed doors at the end of the room lead to a patio at the rear of the house. At the left there was a hallway that apparently led to the bedrooms, ie the private area of the house; and at the right there was the indoor courtyard and next to it the large dining room, ie the public area of the house. Next to the dining room there was a kitchen island that acted like the division of the dining room and the kitchen, also functioning as a surface for serving meals; there was a door at the end of the kitchen, surely the storage. Alright, you were truly in love with this house, it was ultramodern and at the same time cozy due to the courtyards and the excellent daylight that entered the house.

"You cannot live here, Jen. Goddammit, this house is better than the one you have in San Francisco." Darren commented, still stunned.

"Oh, it was a big investment for my parents. Before I moved here, they rented this house; and now that I'm here, they gave it to me. I love this house; nonetheless, I think it's too big for me." Jen answered merrily, also looking around as you were doing. "Alright, do you wanna see the bedrooms? So that you can also leave the suitcases." She proposed and all of you nodded.

She led all of you to the left area of the house, right to where the hallway was. She explained that each bedroom had its own private bathroom and walk-in closet, due to the fact the house was designed as a residence for students or several couples. The two bedrooms at the end of the hallway were her bedroom that she would share with her boyfriend and the other one was Brian's dad bedroom. Next to Brian's dad's bedroom at the left of the hallway was the bedroom Chuck chose to share with his girlfriend; so that you all you chose the other three available rooms. Darren and February were the first to choose; of course they chose the bedroom at the beginning of the hallway at the right because Darren said that way he could go faster to the kitchen to get a midnight snack. Joey was the second to choose the bedroom in front of Darren's bedroom, just next to Chuck's bedroom, with the same excuse Darren used; that way you'd get the bedroom at the right of the hallway, between Darren's and Jen's bedrooms. Darren and February walked to their bedrooms to leave the suitcases, Jen started talking to Brian to explain him where his dad was right now, and you were about to leave the suitcase in the bedroom you would share with Mandy, until she walked towards you.

"Sis... I know, uh, you kinda won't like the idea but, uh..." She whispered kind of uncomfortable.

You could totally imagine what she would ask and you didn't like it. The worst of all was that this time she was there with Joey and both of them were looking at you in a supplicant way.

"Joey and I were thinking, uh, that we would want to share the bedroom." Mandy stated.

"Yeah, you know, we're not sure when we'll be able to see again, so we want to be together. So... We were thinking that Brian and Mandy could switch bedrooms, so that we can be together." Joey said and you looked down and huffed. "You don't mind sharing a bedroom with Brian in these weeks, do you?" He asked.

Why did she have to do this? Yes, you could understand that she was excited because she found Joey and now she wanted to be with him and have the intimacy she wanted and whatever. But why now? You didn't want to share the bedroom with Brian and less for three weeks, and you already had this conversation with Mandy. The worst of all was that there wasn't another room for Brian, this time if Mandy wanted to share the bedroom with Joey, Brian, inevitably, would have to share the bedroom with you.

"Please, sister. You saw the beds. They're big enough, so you won't have to worry about sleeping close to Brian. And it's just for three weeks and only at night. Please, I beg you!" Mandy begged and you huffed again, now biting your lower lip, disgruntled.

"Fine, I'll share the bedroom with Brian." You reluctantly accepted. You had to understand the fact she wanted to be with the guy she liked. "You'll owe me a big one, Amanda." You stated firmly, raising an eyebrow and pointing her with your forefinger.

"Yes! Thank you so much, sis! You're the best!" Mandy exclaimed happily, pulling you into a hug.

"Yes, thank you a lot, Freckles." Joey said, also cheerfully, kissing your cheek.

"Yeah, whatever. You both will owe me one, that's for granted." You repeated very serious, but then you grinned faintly because they really seemed to be happy because you accepted.

"So, is this our bedroom, Joey?" You heard Brian asking with his suitcase, looking at the bedroom Joey chose. Jen wasn't there anymore.

"Uh, buddy, we changed the plans." Joey responded and Brian frowned.

"You changed the bedroom?" He asked clueless.

"No, Brian. Joey and I would share the bedroom that Joey chose. You'll share the bedroom with my sister." Mandy answered. Brian looked at you abruptly, kind of stunned and you just looked down.

"Mandy..." Brian voiced gingerly and then he sneezed. "We talked about this last night." He said and you frowned in suspicion. So Mandy and Brian have been talking, surely about what happened and the things you said.

"Yes, I know! But... Please." Mandy insisted.

"It's just for three weeks, bro." Joey also insisted.

"Yeah, but no... Uh, guys... I'm really glad to know you're together and all, and I really wish you can enjoy your time together... But... This is not a good idea." Brian answered uncomfortably. You leered at him and you saw he was scratching the nape of his neck.

"But we talked about this already, and we all agreed about this change of plans." Mandy replied and Brian frowned.

"I accepted, Brian." You voiced and he looked at you bewildered. "I don't mind sharing a bedroom with you, if that's the reason why you say it's not a good idea." You added as Joey and Mandy nodded with wide smiles on their faces.

"Are you sure?" He asked slowly with his congested voice, looking fixedly at you.

"Yes." You answered, shrugging.

"Alright..." He whispered, looking down and coughing as Mandy squealed in excitement and Joey threw his fist up as a victory sign.

"Thank you, guys!" Mandy exclaimed happily and then she looked at Joey. "Let's go to our room." She said and winked as Joey smirked mischievously.

Joey and Mandy locked in their bedroom and then you headed to your bedroom, followed by Brian. You saw the bed again and you checked if it was big enough as Mandy said; well, it seemed it was; and the bedroom had a walk-in closet and a private bathroom, so there wouldn't be a problem by the time you had to change your clothes. You tried to convince to yourself that it would be only at nights to sleep, then you would do different activities and everything would be fine. You began to unpack your stuff and Brian did the same, both of you very silent. The only sounds you could hear were Brian's sneezes and coughing. Brian was the first who finished unpacking his stuff because he didn't bring so many things. You noticed he looked at you, but you avoided his gaze.

"Do you need any help?" He asked politely.

"No, I'm fine. Thanks." You answered.

"Okay." He whispered. "I swear I'll make sure not to bother you and you'll barely notice that I'm here." He stated and then he turned around and left the bedroom.

You looked at the direction from where he disappeared and you pursed your lips, feeling kind of sad. How come this happened? You used to have the best friendship with Brian and now he was saying he'd make sure to make you feel he wasn't there. Maybe it was kind of your fault because of the conversation he heard the night before, you didn't know... But you made him feel as though you wanted him not to be there, as though he didn't exist. But just as it was your fault, it was his fault too, because he was the one who changed and made you feel like you weren't friends. When you finished unpacking your stuff and you headed to the living room, you saw everybody was there having a coffee. Brian's dad was already here and he was talking to Brian as Brian was kinda hugging him; both George and Brian seemed to be truly happy. There was also Chuck with a girl you didn't know; a tall, thin and blonde girl with blue eyes, very beautiful; you thought that was Lucy, Chuck's girlfriend; she seemed to be nice. Next to Jen, you saw a guy you didn't know. He had straight blonde hair, light brown eyes, a charming smile, charismatic gestures, and he totally looked as an entrepreneur; he even had some kind of aspect that made him look as if he was superior. He was Jack for sure, Jen's boyfriend.

"Hello." You greeted shyly with a polite smile, so all the gazes turned to you.

"Freckles!" Chuck exclaimed loudly with a bright smile.

He quickly stood up to pull you into a tight hug, so you chuckled; but feeling a bit uncomfortable because his girlfriend was there and you didn't know her, so you didn't know if she was a jealous person and you didn't want any kind of problem, it was enough with the experience you had to live with February weeks ago.

"I missed you, silly." He said while parting as you smiled at him. "It's so good to see you again."

"Yes, same, Chuck. I missed you too." You responded but not so loud. Then you turned your gaze to the blonde girl, as a way to let her know that Chuck was just a friend and you knew she was his girlfriend. "She must be your girlfriend." You stated with a polite smile at her direction.

"Yes, she is. She's Lucy. And well, Lucy, you already know about Freckles." Chuck answered and you raised your eyebrows.

So Chuck told her about you; that was a good thing because she knew you were just friends so that there wouldn't be any kind of confusion. You wondered what he could have told her about you. Chuck's girlfriend stood up and walked towards you. She was truly gorgeous.

"Hi, Freckles. Chuck has told me a lot about you, so it's so nice to meet you. By the way he described you; I really want to get to know you more. Maybe later we could go shopping together or do something else." She said kindly and you smiled. She seemed to be a sweet person.

"And Freckles, let me introduce you to my boyfriend, Jack." Jen exclaimed joyfully as the blonde guy stood up and walked to you to extend his hand with a charismatic smile.

"It's a pleasure to meet you." He said shaking hands with you, in a very formal way. He had deep voice and there were no doubts he'd be an entrepreneur.

"The pleasure is mine." You responded politely.

Somehow he was making you feel intimidated and a bit uncomfortable; maybe it was his noticeable presence. He didn't seem to be the kind of person who talked too much, because he remained silent, still with the polite grin, though. So you just glanced at Brian's dad and smiled widely as he smiled back with his usual bright smile. You adored that man. You walked towards him to greet him with a hug. You felt his shaking hands hugging you back.

"It's always great to see you, sweetie." Brian's dad said kindly and then you parted. "You're getting more beautiful as days pass by." He complimented and you giggled.

"Thank you, George. I could say the same about you." You said smiling.

Yes, despite he was an old man and he was way too thin because of his disease, Brian's dad was attractive. He looked like actor Josh Duhamel, only that older and with blue eyes. You saw photos of him when he was young and he was one of the most attractive men you've ever seen; and he still conserved his attractive features, it was one like those people who were still attractive even if they were old. You saw how he laughed and shook his head.

"I'm just an old man, my dear." He giggled.

"I told you, George. You're attractive and beauty has no age limit." Jen commented amused and Brian's dad laughed again as you noticed how Brian turned his gaze to Jen and frowned slightly with an amused smirk.

"I've been really spoiled by your friend Jen." George commented and you laughed as Jen smiled proudly.

"If I were older, I'd totally date your dad, Brian. He's very attractive and lovely." Jen said amused and Brian's dad chuckled as Brian raised his eyebrows and parted his lips in surprise. Well, it seemed Jen and George had a good relationship, which was amazing.

"Hey!" Jen's boyfriend exclaimed looking at her, as she just giggled and pecked his lips.

"You're attractive too, don't be jealous." Jen commented amused and Jack chuckled and shook his head.

Right after that, everybody started talking about the trip as you sat next to George and linked your arm with his, resting your head on his shoulder. You considered Brian's dad as the dad you never had; well, actually like the dad you once used to have. During the year you were depressed, he acted like a dad to you, he always listened to you, gave you some advices and always comforted you. You were just listening how Mandy, Joey, Darren and February were telling the experiences of the trip, suddenly feeling relaxed and kinda tired because of the long trip. Brian's dad kissed your temple and you smiled faintly; he totally noticed there was something that was saddening you, that was called parent instinct. You noticed that Brian was glancing furtively at you from time to time. Then you remembered why Brian's dad was living here and you felt sad all of a sudden; if something bad happened to George, you'd feel terrible because it'd be like losing a father.

"What happens, sweetie?" George asked in a whisper so that no one else, not even Brian who was sitting on his other side, would hear. You always appreciated his discretion.

"Nothing… Just that I'm happy to be here and feel as though we all are like a huge family." You responded in a whisper, grinning sweetly. Then you looked up into his eyes, still resting your head on his shoulder. "You're like my dad, George. You know that, right?"

"Yes, and you're like my daughter. I'm glad my son introduced me to such incredible person as you are." He responded with a fond smile as your eyes filled with tears and you nodded.

Okay, no. You should leave right now. You couldn't cry in front of them and you really felt like crying. You needed to go to the bedroom or bathroom, or just somewhere else where you could be alone. Without uttering a single word due to the fact you had a lump in throat because of the tears you were holding back, you stood up and basically ran to the bedroom, sensing some curious gazes in your direction. You lay down on bed, burying your head on the pillow as you began to weep as silently as possible; this was until you felt some hands stroking your short hair.

"When you get old, you acquire the ability to know what your children are thinking or feeling without even the need of hearing them talking; just by observing them you can tell what's happening. And since you're like my daughter, I know exactly what you were feeling seconds ago." George spoke in a gentle way. "I can tell you and my son aren't going through a good moment and you're distant. And I know this is probably my son's fault, judging by the way he was glancing in your direction with guilt. Forgive my son's mistakes. I don't know what he did and sometimes he can be reserved, complicated and can hide his feelings and thoughts; but he's a good person and he loves you. You helped him a lot and you made him be a better person, you helped him to open himself up little by little. You're the most important person to him, besides me. So when my time comes, I'll rest in peace knowing that my son has next to him a wonderful person as you are; I know you won't let him fall apart." Brian's dad stated gently, still stroking your hair as you sobbed. How could he have noticed that you and Brian were distant? And how could he say 'when my time comes'? You didn't want to picture it, so you cried even more. "And that's another thing you're feeling; this time it has nothing to do with my son, it has to do with me, right?" He asked and you couldn't understand why he could know everything. "Sweetie, all human beings have a limited time in this world. We born, we grow up and we die; it's the cycle of life and it's never about how many years you live, but how intensely you live. And I had a life with plenty of beautiful moments. I had the chance to grow up, experience a childhood, youth and adult life; have a family, have a son and get a daughter; and that's the most wonderful that someone can experience. I know that when my time comes, I'll die happy, knowing that I had a full life. Maybe I won't live the enough to see my son and you graduating, maybe I won't live to see your wedding or my son's wedding, to see my grandchildren as I've always dreamed of; but I know I'll be there somehow, just as long as you keep me alive in your hearts. Death shouldn't be something sad, it should be considered as a moment to honor someone who got the chance to have a really vivid life full of love next to extraordinary people. I often feel sad when I see my son worrying too much about me, being concerned all the time, not enjoying his own life and feeling sorrowful because of my disease, taking responsibilities he shouldn't take at his age, stressing out and carrying out an adult life earlier than he should. I don't want you to do the same than him. He cannot understand that I'm fine and happy despite my disease and the short time of life I have left; he cannot understand that I'm not afraid of death and what I'm really afraid of is about him not enjoying the time together that we have left because he's spending that time trying to find a cure for my disease. I know he's doing it because I'm the only family he has; but I wish he could stop doing it and just accept the fact that there's no cure, otherwise he will break when my time comes, he won't be prepared." He said with sad voice as he was rubbing your back with his shaky hands. You couldn't help it; you were crying heartbreakingly now. This was too painful to hear, but also very moving to hear. He was a strong man and he was the most admirable man on earth. "So, now you know that I'm happy. I want you to understand this and I also want to share with you this time I have left, to really enjoy it. And for that I need you to stop feeling sad, sweetie. Do not shed any single tear for this old man, because I'm telling you that I had a wondrous life; so I'd really rest in peace, without these shaking hands, tiredness and weakness I'm feeling right now due to the disease. I'd want you to feel good when my time comes, not sad; because I want a happy life for you and my son, not a life with emptiness in your hearts because I'm gone. That would be my last wish. Can you grant it, sweetie?" He asked practically in a supplicant way.

You finally turned your face to look at him with your eyes full of tears. When you noticed his eyes looking into yours in that fond way with that warm smile on his face, you couldn't help shedding few tears, but you wiped them away, took a deep breath, and tried to control your crying. You smiled for him, then you kneeled on the bed and threw your arms around his neck.

"Yes, I'll do it for you, George." You answered with choked voice.

"Thank you, sweetie." He whispered and kissed your temple.

"Uh, sorry to interrupt." You suddenly heard a voice. Brian. You and his dad looked at him as you wiped all your tears away. Brian was looking at the two of you confused. "Umm, dinner is ready. So, uh, I'll leave you alone." He announced, looked down, and attempted to turn around.

"Brian, wait." You stopped him before he could leave. He stopped, yet he remained looking down. "Come over here." You requested.

He walked slowly and hesitantly right to where you and his dad were. Once he was close enough, you pulled him into a tight hug, hugging his dad at the same time; it was like a group hug, a very warm and comforting embrace; a family hug.

"Thank you for being like my family." You whispered to Brian and his dad in all honesty.

---

I woke up with the morning sun hitting my face. It seemed to be a mighty day in NYC and it'd be one because it was Christmas Eve. Finally I'd fully enjoy the day, not like yesterday that I was kinda tired because of the trip. I was particularly interested in knowing Chuck's girlfriend; yeah, I knew about her because he told me, and I saw her few times before when Chuck and I made video calls; but now I'd get the chance to actually talk to her and know her more. Also, I wanted to know about this boyfriend of Jen; I didn't like the guy too much, not that he did something wrong, but just... He just had something weird; maybe it was that he seemed to be a snooty dude. Well, today would be the day in which I'd know them more; besides, I had three weeks to spend with them. For now, I just turned on my side and I saw February fast asleep. I smiled when I saw her and I snuggled up to her, wrapping an arm around her naked body. Yes, I was tired yesterday, but that didn't stop me to make out with my girlfriend. I moved even closer and I kissed her forehead, then I just remained looking at her in silence; she looked beautiful while sleeping. After few minutes, she slowly opened her blue eyes and the first she saw in the day were my eyes; I fondled her cheek with my thumb as she grinned gently.

"Hi, good morning, gorgeous." I whispered and then leaned to peck her lips.

"Good morning, handsome." She whispered in front of my lips. "How was your sleep?"

"Hmm, let me think... I slept with a stunning girl, then she fell asleep in my arms completely naked, and her face was the first thing I got to see in the morning... It all leads to say I had a very pleasant sleep." I answered in a flirty but also sweet way, as she giggled softly.

"How can you be able to flirt this early in the morning? Not that I'm complaining because I love it, but it's just... funny." She commented and I just grinned as I pulled her to me.

"It helps the fact that you're gorgeous. The flirting is natural, regardless the hour and place." I responded with a wink. Then I remained looking into her eyes. "Aren't you happy to wake up with me?"

"I'm actually very happy to wake up with you. I mean, you don't always get to wake up next to a very attractive guy flirting with you and cuddling with you completely naked. I can't complain." She replied and I grinned fondly at her while looking intensely into those bright blue eyes.

"I love you." I said and tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear.

"I love you too." She responded with a bright smile, one of those smiles I loved.

"By the way, happy Christmas Eve, love. Wanna get up to have breakfast together?" I asked and she nodded.

"Would love it." She answered and pecked my lips before getting up. She walked to the closet to grab some clothes as I was observing her naked body very fixedly. I loved her body.

"Oh man, you're gonna kill me if you keep teasing me with the way you move, gorgeous." I commented with a naughty smirk as she turned her face to shoot me a sensual look. "Oh, come on. Don't look at me that way or I won't be responsible for my actions." I said biting my lower lip, looking fixedly into her eyes as she just smirked mischievously. "You're warned, gorgeous." I stated and then she turned her face around to walk to the closet.

I observed her behind, really tempted to stand up and hold her. And so I did. I stood up and walked sneakily towards her. Once I was close enough, I slid my hands around her waist, pressed my lips against her neck and brushed her naked body against mine as she shivered because of the sudden friction. I began to trail kisses down to the base of her neck as she cocked her head to one side to give me full access to her neck. I started sucking her neck as I slid my hands down to her hips and she moaned softly and closed her eyes when I began to run my forefingers over her hips bone. I was the one teasing her now and I enjoyed it. I moved my mouth to her ear and I nibbled her earlobe.

"Do you want me to help you put on your bra?" I asked mischievously in her ear as I grabbed the bra she was holding. She turned her face and looked at me stunned, then she bit her lower lip and shook her head with resignation as I was smirking playfully.

"Tease." She stated once she figured out my intentions, so I chucked softly as I fastened her bra and kissed her shoulder. "For being such a tease, you'll have to dress me up." She demanded as I leaned to kiss the corner of her lips.

"Deal." I responded.

So that I dressed her up as she was all the time looking at me with an amused smile. Then I asked her to help me dress up and she did so; always teasing while doing it. Once we were ready, we headed to the kitchen to have breakfast, it seemed everybody was already there, sitting at the table and having breakfast. Oh damn, coffee and hot cakes, fucking delicious. We joined them and Brian offered to make coffee for us. I noticed that Freckles, Joey and Mandy weren't there, so I dared to ask where they were.

"Where's Freckles, Mandy and Joey?" I asked intrigued as Brian gave us a coffee mug for each.

"Mandy and Joey left early in the morning. Apparently they wanted to do shopping or something." Jen answered.

"Joey doing shopping?" I asked amused while chuckling. He really liked Mandy if he accepted going shopping.

"Yeah, you know Mandy. She wouldn't stop insisting until Joey accepted. You know she always manages to get what she wants." Brian commented, also amused as he sat next to his dad.

"Yes, but seriously, who would want to spend the Christmas Eve doing shopping?" I asked and February and Lucy looked at me, so I looked at them in suspicion. "What?"

"We were planning to go shopping, you know." February responded and I raised an eyebrow and chuckled.

"Well, don't you think that I'm as easy as Joey is to accept going. I don't feel like going shopping or whatever." I answered roundly, sipping my coffee. No way that I was going shopping, and less with women around.

"Oh don't worry; I wasn't planning to ask you to come with me." February answered and I looked at her in suspicion.

"What if I want to go, eh?" I asked, narrowing my eyes.

"Then you can go, but not with us." February answered while shrugging and sipping her coffee. Oh, no way… I was gonna go with her.

"No, I want to go shopping with you." I stated firmly.

"I thought you weren't feeling like shopping?" She pointed out, looking fixedly at me.

"Well, I changed my mind. Now I want to go shopping with you." I responded.

"Bipolar much, little bro?" Chuck mocked me and I shot him a withering look.

"Listen, baby, it's a girl thing so you won't join us. Jen, Lucy, Freckles and I will go… alone…" February emphasized. "…Shopping. You can spend the day with the boys. You don't wanna be the only guy between four girls, do you?"

"Yeah, I want… I want to be with you, okay?" I answered, feeling a bit annoyed.

"That's so sweet, but no. You won't come with us." She answered firmly and I noticed how everybody chuckled when I looked at February astonished.

"Brother-in-law, you really wanna stay away from four girls while shopping." Lucy commented amused as Chuck giggled. "I promise I'll take care of your beautiful girlfriend. She will be safe and you won't die for a couple of hours of being away from her." She mocked playfully and I dropped my jaw. Great! Even Chuck's girlfriend was making fun of me… She surely plotted this with Chuck; surely Chuck convinced her to make fun of me.

"Fantastic." I responded and I sipped my coffee. Time to change the subject in order to avoid them make fun of me. "Brian, where's Freckles?" I asked and he looked at me and then shrugged.

"Sleeping." He answered and shifted his gaze.

"Didn't you wake her up? Because the ladies here seem to be desperate to get the fuck away from here." I commented while glancing at February as she sighed and shook her head, apparently amused.

"Uh, no… I mean, why would I bother her? She knows she's gonna go shopping, so she will wake up whenever she wants. I… I wouldn't bother her." He answered kinda uncomfortable as he took a sip of his coffee. Of course everybody looked at him in suspicion. Why were he and Freckles acting so weird lately? I couldn't get it.

"Bro, is everything cool between her and you?" I asked curiously as he looked at me awkwardly and Jen, February and even Brian's dad looked at me as though I asked something inappropriate. Lucy, Chuck and Jack seemed to be intrigued just as me.

"Yeah, everything's cool." He responded curtly, looking at his coffee mug. Alright, now I knew everything was totally wrong between them. Thing was… Why? But I thought it wasn't a good idea to ask about it for now.

"Good morning" Suddenly Freckles' voice echoed in the room.

We all looked at her direction, perhaps all of us thinking about the coincidence that she arrived just when we were talking about her. Hopefully she didn't hear the conversation and ostensibly it was like that because she was smiling cheerfully as though she was clueless; but once again, she could be faking it. 'Good morning' all of us answered at the same time, also drawing smiles on our faces.

"Sunny, do you want me to make coffee for you? Or maybe a tea or hot chocolate?" Brian asked, obviously trying to sound as natural as possible to pretend we were not talking about her.

"No, thanks. I'll do it myself." She answered, avoiding Brian's gaze.

"Alright… There's coffee made in the coffee pot and in case you want a tea, I found them in the…" Brian started explaining, but Freckles walked to the kitchen, ignoring what Brian was saying. "Cupboard." He finished in a whisper.

He quickly got distracted with his hot cakes, as a way to play fool because of the humiliation of being ignored. We all did the same and played fool, now a bit uncomfortable. What was wrong with them? Weeks ago, Brian and Freckles were totally fine, and it was like that until we returned from San Francisco. Maybe there existed an argument I never knew that happened or something like that. Freckles returned after few minutes with a mug of coffee, grinning joyfully, sitting between Lucy and Jen, still disregarding Brian and Brian disregarding her. Lucy and Freckles started talking as if they were friends, planning where they would go and what they would do after breakfast, and February joined them. Considering the girls were talking to each other, I started talking to Chuck, Jen's boyfriend and Brian's dad; in regard to Brian, he didn't take part of the conversation, he was just silently helping his dad to drink his coffee and eat his hot cakes because his temblors appeared to be worse than the time we were in San Francisco. Weird, because he had the best medical care.

"So girls, where are you planning to go?" Jen's boyfriend asked, finally sounding like a nice dude and not like a haughty one.

"Oh, I just wanted to let you know that I won't go. I'm sorry, girls. I have to get ready one article for my job." Jen announced and the rest of the girls said 'oh, too bad' and things like that.

"Maybe you could take a rest with that article, hun." Jack said looking at Jen and wrapping an arm around her. "I mean, you've been working hard on it and you deserve to spend time with your friends." He said and I silently agreed. Well, maybe I judged him. Jen grinned faintly.

"Yes, I know. But I want to finish it today so that I'll have the rest of the week free to spend time with them." Jen responded and it sounded reasonable.

"Well, you have a point there." He said softly, stroking her hair; then he looked at Lucy, February and Freckles. "So, what kind of things would you want to shop? Because I know about a lot of places I could suggest you to go. I presume this is your first time in NYC; well, except for you, Lucy, of course." He commented, giggling jovially.

"Oh, no, actually I've been here before; only that I was only 9 years old the last time I came." February responded amiably.

"I see. And is this your first time here?" Jack asked, looking piercingly into Freckles' eyes who smiled at him kindly.

"Yes, it is." Freckles answered merrily. "You can picture how excited I am to go out and just explore the city. It's like my dream!" She added in a very excited way, chuckling softly.

"So I shouldn't be afraid of assuming that you're living your dream right now, right?" Jack asked nicely as Freckles grinned widely and nodded. "That's incredible." He stated with a bright smile.

"And Freckles, what places would you like to visit now that you're here? Because Chuck told me you are into art, so I know about some galleries and museums we can go." Lucy commented kindly.

"I'd love to visit some galleries and museums!" Freckles answered with a genuine grin.

"I'm sorry, but has someone told you that you're very sympathetic?" Lucy asked, looking curiously at Freckles who laughed out loud.

Oh yeah, I should have seen that coming. Everybody always ended up liking Freckles; she had something, not quite sure about what yet, maybe her candid smile or catchy laughter, perhaps her bright eyes or the cheerfulness she radiates, perchance it was her mellow voice, her charisma and self-confidence... Possibly it was her whole presence.

"Your laughter is marvelous." Jack commented and Jen looked at him surprised and giggled.

"It's the sound of her voice when she talks or when she laughs... It's just pleasant to hear." Jen added as Freckles looked at her stunned, still grinning widely.

"I find particularly alluring the dimples in her cheeks when she smiles; only because I've got them too." Chuck stated with an amused smirk as Freckles chortled, showing all of her teeth.

"I like her teeth, like they're super perfect and white and it's like when she smiles they make her face shine or something." February said while frowning with a gentle smile, looking fixedly at Freckles who chuckled and shook her head.

"I think her eyes are wonderful. They twinkle when she laughs and they express all kind of feelings, she has a transparent gaze." Brian's dad commented gently while looking deeply into Freckles' eyes. Oh yeah, he was totally right. Freckles smiled sweetly at him and muttered a 'thank you'.

"It's needless to say that for me the cutest thing about her is her freckles. Not for nothing I call her Freckles." I said roundly, looking straight into her eyes, with a kind smile as Freckles let out a chuckle and looked down, apparently a bit amazed but still grinning. Everybody nodded as agreeing with me.

"Alright, wow... I'm feeling kind of... flattered. Thanks, guys. Jeez!" Freckles exclaimed overwhelmed, giggling softly. "Oh dear, I don't even know what to say..."

"Wait, hold on! We all said something about what we like of you... Except Brian. So, Brian? What's the most you like about her?" Jack suddenly questioned intrigued.

All of us looked down right away, obviously a bit uncomfortable. Brian looked at Jack bewildered, raising his eyebrows with eyes wide open, noticeably feeling absolutely awkward. It was evident Brian was playing dumb minutes ago not to say anything about Freckles, and it was working because Freckles was ignoring him, but Jen's boyfriend just blown it... Dammit, Jen. She surely didn't mention him that Brian was in love with Freckles and she wasn't comfortable with that. So yeah, hello fraught situation.

"Uh... Err... To be honest... I actually, umm, I don't feel comfortable when people, you know, tell me nice things and all... So, uh, why don't we just leave it there?" Freckles asked with a jittery chuckle.

"But really, I wanna know..." Jack started saying a bit confused.

"Really, leave it there." Freckles stated firmly, interrupting Jack as Brian looked down and clenched his jaw.

"It's just... Let him say something. He's the only one who hasn't said anything and it'd be great if everybody says something... I mean, you know..." Jack started saying, but Jen placed a hand on his shoulder to stop him; so he finally realized this was making things awkward. "Oh... I... I just thought that...Uh..."

"Jack." Jen pointed out slowly.

"Okay, it's okay..." Freckles sighed heavily. "So, Brian, say something and just let's finish this kind of game or whatever this is." Freckles said roundly, yet avoiding Brian's stunned gaze. Brian babbled as all of us were looking intently at him, except Freckles, who was serious and looking at her coffee mug.

"Come on, man! Say what's the most beautiful about her in your opinion." Jack insisted and Brian mumbled again, looking down.

"Uh... I like the way she is." Brian voiced almost in a whisper, looking at Freckles who was totally ignoring him.

All of us remained silent looking at Brian, with a soft smile as we nodded. That was a nice answer to hear; now I was eager to know what Freckles would comment about his answer. Hopefully it'd be something nice. I could notice everybody was as eager as I was to know what Freckles would say.

"So, Lucy, what museum is the best to visit? I feel like going to a contemporary art exhibition." Freckles commented merrily.

What the hell, man? Seriously? How could she ignore Brian and what he said in that way? As if his opinion meant nothing to her; actually Brian got the nicest answer and Freckles disregarded it. I totally sensed that everybody thought the same than me: Freckles just acted sort of rude there. And Lucy was uncomfortable because Freckles was talking to her, but she knew she had to answer something, so she smiled faintly as she answered something to Freckles. I didn't hear their conversation. I just observed at Brian who was looking down, frowning slightly and biting his lower lip, creating a sad and maybe abashed facial expression.

"Wasn't Freckles kind of...?" February whispered in my ear.

"Rude." I whispered, finishing the question for her.

"Yeah... What's happening between them?" She whispered curiously.

"I have no idea." I sighed and shook my head.

"My sister Mandy mentioned me one mall where we can get that... I just... Ah, crap! I just can't remember the name!" I heard Freckles saying in frustration, talking to Lucy, Jen, Jack and Chuck.

"The Shops at Columbus Circle." Brian said.

"The name will come to me. Wait. It's on the tip of my tongue." Freckles stated deep in thought, frowning slightly.

"It's The Shops at Columbus Circle." Brian repeated, this time a bit louder.

"Uh... It was something related to circle or something..." Freckles said as everybody looked at her and then at Brian, all of us playing dumb. Why was she doing this?

"Yes, Sunny, Mandy said it's The Shops at Columbus Circle. It's located at 59th and Columbus Circle." Brian said looking at her, but Freckles was still avoiding his gaze.

"She mentioned it was near, uh, near the Central Park." Freckles said.

"The Shops at Columbus Circle?" Jen asked and Freckles looked at her and grinned.

"Yes! That one, Jen!" She exclaimed happily and Brian looked down and I saw him nodding. "How did you know that?"

"Because Brian said it three times already." Jen answered serious and Freckles' smile kinda faded away.

"Oh... I see... Well, I didn't hear him, whatever. Yes, it's The Shops at Columbus Circle." Freckles said and I shook my head. "Mandy said there we could..."

I didn't like at all what she was doing. This was not her. She was acting weird and rude; and I knew Jen was thinking the same as me, because she was looking at Freckles in that severe and perhaps confused way, also trying to understand what the hell was going on between them. What could Brian have done to Freckles for her to behave that way around him?

"Let me do that for you, dad." I heard Brian whispering, trying to slice his dad's hot cake for him due to the fact that his dad's hands were shaking too much.

"I can do it myself, son." His father said, trying to move Brian's hands away.

"No, dad, you can't. Just let me do it." Brian insisted, grabbing his fork and knife.

"Don't tell me what I can do or not; I'm telling you I can do it, so stop, Brian." His dad said firmly, apparently a bit upset. They were speaking very low, so nobody besides me was listening to them.

"Dad, really, you can't..." Brian repeated.

"Brian Thomas, stop right now. This is an order." His dad voiced loudly and annoyed, so finally everybody noticed them. "Just because I have this disease doesn't mean that I'm disabled and I can't do anything by myself; so stop treating me like one. I am your father, so when I order you to stop, you must stop. Stop saying I can't do certain things, because I can and I know more than you what things I'm able to do and what not. And stop acting so overprotective because I'm tired of your attitude of acting like my nurse or father when you are my son." George demanded firmly as Brian was looking at him stunned.

"Sorry for trying to help you, dad. I didn't know it was something bad." Brian responded while frowning.

"I don't want you to help me. I want you to act like a boy your age, Brian Thomas. Just do it once and for all." His dad ordered severely.

We all looked at the two of them bewildered; none of us was certainly expecting something like this. And Freckles, finally, wasn't ignoring Brian; she was now looking at him and his dad as the rest of us. Brian looked at his dad in shock, frowning and agape. Afterwards, he looked down and raised an eyebrow while clenching his jaw, with his lips slightly parted. Then, he nodded slowly, sighed and stood up, grabbing his coffee mug and his plate.

"Excuse my imprudence and enjoy your breakfast." He apologized in general.

He bit his lips strongly, turned around and walked to the kitchen, leaving the plate and mug in the sink as everybody was looking at him astonished and silent. After that, he walked to the entrance and stopped there, giving us his back.

"Have a nice day, everybody. Merry Christmas Eve." He said and left the house.

Hello, fraught situation reloaded. Damn shit, this morning was a total crap; nothing was as I thought it would be. Brian's dad said some words like Brian and did exactly what his son did: walked to the kitchen, left the plate and mug in the sink and walked away; but instead of leaving the house, he walked to his bedroom. Meanwhile, the rest of us were feeling so uncomfortable and puzzled that we couldn't utter a single word.

"Well, what if we go shopping now?" Freckles proposed and all of us looked at her and frowned.

Another situation ignored. However, the girls accepted, surely to put an end to the awkward situation and they left fifteen minutes later. Jen made her way to her desk to finish the article she had to do and Jack went to the backyard, apparently to call his parents for Christmas Eve. So, I was just at the table with Chuck.

"What a way to start the day, eh little bro?" Chuck asked, sliding on the chair while putting his arms at the back of his head, raising eyebrows and sighing.

"Yeah, I don't know what happened, but not something good for sure." I responded, propping my head on a hand.

"Well, as for George, I presume he's just tired because of the intense physical therapy and meds, and he just wants his son to enjoy his time here with his friends and not to take care of him all the time. He reacted that way because, as far as I know, George already tried to talk about this with Brian several times and he never listened. I don't know." Chuck commented and I looked at him amazed. How could he know that? Oh, sure, he spent lot of time with Jen and Jen was living with him. "Now, what I cannot understand is why Freckles and Brian acted so weird and why Freckles was ignoring him that way. What do you know about it?" He asked curiously.

"Nothing. I'm just as confused as you are, Chuck. Maybe Brian has done something to her; but that's strange because he lives with me and he's been acting pretty normal, busy all the time, but normal. They've been like this for weeks now, since we returned from San Francisco." I answered thoughtful.

"Do you think this has something to do with his feelings for her?" Chuck asked intrigued. Yes, I already told him all about Brian and Freckles.

"Yeah, maybe. That's weird because I know they talked and they cleared everything up and they were cool. But it must be for that, I mean, what other logical explanation for this can exist?" I wondered.

"Hmm… Do you think they will ever be friends again?" Chuck asked, also thoughtful.

"No idea." I responded in a sigh.

"Ah, such a shame… Well, I guess we cannot meddle on this." Chuck said while shrugging as I nodded. "Alright, I'll take a shower; then I was thinking we could go out somewhere. I know about a lot of interesting places, but just… Not a mall." He said jokingly as he stood up.

"Not a mall, please." I emphasized with a giggle.

Chuck left and I stayed at the table for a while, until I decided to place my mug and plate in the sink and wash them. When I finished, I didn't know what to do, so I just walked outside to explore the house. It was snowing and it was really cold, yet I kept walking quietly, just admiring this amazing house in which Jen lived. I found a sort of room in the backyard, separated from the house and near the swimming pool; so I headed there, intrigued to know what it was. Probably it was some sort of storage, but I went there anyway and I found the door open. I was about to enter until I heard Jack's voice, so I stopped abruptly and I crouched so he wouldn't see me through the window. He was talking on the phone.

"I swear, Danny... The chick is a bomb. Yes, of course I'm talking about Jennifer's friend who came here for these weeks. No, Jennifer is not near, she cannot even hear me and she doesn't have any clue; sometimes she is very naive." Jack said with a cocky laugh as I raised an eyebrow in disgust.

Who was Danny and what Jen's friend was he talking about? It was whether Mandy, February or Freckles because he mentioned 'these weeks', so it couldn't be Lucy. Anyway, what I didn't like was the way he was talking, like a jerk.

"Man, I'll totally move on that chick. Jennifer will not even notice that I'm cheating on her; she didn't suspect anything when I hooked up with Anna and Trinity." He said and I closed my fist. Jackass... Was he thinking about moving on one of them, what about Jen? And he already cheated on Jen. "Yeah, at first I thought that chick was dating one of the dudes who came here; that dude is huge, so I didn't dare to move on her so fast, I thought he could kill me or something. But this morning I made sure they're nothing. Yes, of course I did it in a surreptitiously way, man. No, the huge dude ain't a problem; it looked like the chick completely loathed him or something, she was acting like a bitch, ignoring him and all that shit. I'm sure she'd love my dick, man." He snickered in a derisive way as I clenched my jaw with anger. He was talking about Freckles. "Nah, it won't be a problem, man. Jennifer won't find it out, cause I'm gonna make this girl get drunk and maybe I could drug her too, so that she won't remember a damn thing. My dick will just take a taste of her pussy, man." He laughed out loud and I wanted to stand up and punch him straight in his face, but I remained quiet. "Oh, and her ass, man... I'll totally smack and fuck that sexy ass, she will take my dick deep in her ass. She has a sister, she's hot too... I can get her for you, man. I'm a charitable guy; sadly the sister has got a dick already; but we can get her drunk too. We'll plan something." He stated and I was totally clenching my teeth to keep my cool and not go inside to punch that asshole. "Oh, by the way, the meeting in two days is still up, man. So you better go so we can have a blast! Yes, yes, I know; I'll bring the money. By this time I know where Jennifer saves her money... Bad thing is that the old man who's living in here already suspects of me. But I'll be careful and I'll take the money. Alright, man... I'll hang up because Jennifer thinks I'm talking to my parents; can you believe it?" He asked with sneer laughter. "Bye, Danny."

When I noticed he hung up, I quickly hid behind a bush near there. I didn't want him to see me now. I wanted to talk to Jen about what I heard; she needed to know what kind of guy her boyfriend was, she had to know what he was doing. I saw Jack walking away and entering the screened porch at the rear of the house. The damn jerk was cheating on Jen and he was even stealing her money, not quite sure with which purposes, but he was doing so; and apparently, Brian's dad was suspecting of him. And he wanted to hook up with Freckles; yeah, over my dead body; he was not gonna touch Freckles. Although I had a feeling he wasn't a nice guy since the first time I saw him, I never thought he was this douchebag. I desperately had to talk to Jen and tell her everything. I waited for a while to make sure Jack wasn't around, then I walked to the front side of the house to pretend I was walking in the neighborhood, I waited for a while to take a time to think how I'd tell this to Jen and finally headed inside. When I entered, I saw Chuck and Jack sitting on the couch in the living room, I looked at them very serious and then I looked around.

"Why the long face, bro?" Chuck asked amused.

"I decided to take a walk around the neighborhood and I forgot it was so fucking cold outside, so I'm freezing." I answered, looking away and pretending to be heating my hands.

"Next time make sure to bring your coat, gloves and beanie, dude. NYC can be freaking cold." Jack joked and I nodded, forcing a smile.

"Yeah, I'll keep it in mind. Uh, has someone seen Jen? I want to give her something she forgot in Ann Arbor." I lied in a very convincing way.

"Oh, no... She was in her desk, but apparently she left the house. If you want, you can give it to me." Jack suggested and I shook my head.

"No, it's fine. I want to give it myself. Besides, I wanna talk to her about my new projects... So, I'll just call her. Excuse me." I said and I walked to my bedroom.

Stupid asshole, pretending to be amiable. Dammit, where the hell could Jen be? I had to talk to her and now it was the perfect moment considering Jack was too entertained talking to Chuck. Damn, Jen, pick up the call, pick up the call. I called her like four times, but she didn't answer. I lay in bed and I started thinking again how to tell this to Jen; I didn't want to hurt her, but she had to know it. After like twenty minutes of being deep in thought, I looked through the window and I saw Jen in the screened porch... with Brian. I spied them and I noticed they were sitting on some poufs, drinking a coffee while talking. Maybe they were talking about what happened earlier, so I wanted to know. I left the bedroom and I headed to the screened porch, carefully not to be caught by Jack and Chuck; but apparently they were no longer in the living room. I hid behind the door that connected the house with the screened porch and I began to hear Jen and Brian's conversation, even if I couldn't see their faces.

"Jen, please, tell me the truth. Is that everything the doctor said? Are you sure you're not hiding me anything?" Brian asked, his voice sounding in suspicion.

"Yes, that's all; he told me that the deep brain stimulation apparently worked but he can't assure anything until he gets the complete diagnosis of physician evaluation and the test SPECT with all the acoustic and hearing-perceptual voice analysis besides the gait analysis." Jen responded, but her voice sounded hesitating.

"Alright, what about the meds? Has he ordered higher doses?" Brian asked.

"Yes, but only higher doses of Levodopa and COMT inhibitors." Jen responded, this time firmly.

"And what about the Thalamotomy and Pallidotomy surgeries? Have they worked?" Brian asked concerned and I heard Jen sighing. I didn't know his dad underwent so many surgeries in so little time.

"I don't know, Brian. He told me all the results will be for December 26." Jen answered, again vacillating.

"Jen, I know there's something you aren't telling me. Please, tell me." Brian requested in a pleading way. There was a pause; surely Jen was hesitating whether she should tell Brian something else or not.

"Alright, it's not assured because the doctor needs the complete diagnosis... But... He said that... He said that the disease is very advanced and the physiotherapy isn't working as satisfactorily as it should; so he suggested we should try stimulating his physiologic side by encouraging him to lead as active and as normal a life as possible, by allowing him to do things for himself, by making him feel happy because he might behave in an impulsive and compulsive way because of the side effect of some Parkinson's drugs. You know, the psychological side." Jen answered almost in a whisper, her voice sounding sad.

"And that means...?" Brian asked gingerly.

"That your dad is just in the same condition he was when he was in San Francisco and maybe the only thing we can do for him is to make him feel good as much as possible due to the fact the other methods aren't working." Jen replied.

"Jen, be more specific. What does that mean?" Brian asked and his voice trembled.

"It means that most probably your dad's health won't improve, so we should provide him good moments and days that might be his last days. I'm sorry, Brian." Jen answered in a distressed way.

Her response was followed by an abysmal silence. None of them were talking and they've been silent for a while now, so I dared to pop my head to see what was happening. I saw Brian was hunched, biting his lips, propping his forehead on his hand, his head pointing downwards; Jen was just sitting in front of him, looking at him in sorrow. Then Brian finally looked up, so I hid my face again.

"Thank you, Jen, for all you've been doing for me and my dad." He said gently, yet his voice sounding gloomy. "I refuse to believe there's nothing else to do for my dad to get better. The doctor was wrong. Yes, he was wrong." He whispered.

"Brian... The doctor is not wrong. You have to face this, Brian. This is hard for me to say, it really is, but the doctor said your dad won't live for much longer. So you have to face this, because the longer you deny this, the more you'll suffer. You have to be prepared for this, Brian, and you need to enjoy the remaining time with him as much as possible instead of worrying too much; because when the time comes, you'll regret you spent your days trying to find a cure instead of spending the last times with your dad." Jen said as gentle as possible and I bit my lips strongly. Shit. This was for sure something hard to say and something hard to hear.

"I can't give up, Jen." Brian responded, his voice sounding brittle.

"It's not about giving up, Brian. This is about facing the reality in the most sensible and rational way. Your dad needs you; and he doesn't need you to find a cure for him, he needs you to be with him, helping him to go through his last days; he needs his son to be there with him to talk and show affection. So don't show him your love by trying to find a cure; show him your love by staying with him, talking to him, hugging him, and letting him know what he means to you. Brian, please, do it for you and for your dad; or then it'll be too late." Jen pleaded in a very soft way. Oh damn, I wouldn't want to be in Brian's shoes.

"I don't want to say goodbye." Brian voiced and his voice cracked.

"Don't say goodbye. Just enjoy your dad as long as he's here." Jen replied gently, her voice sounding kind. I could tell Jen was brave and strong enough to be saying this without breaking. "Everything is alright."

"Don't tell me everything is alright, because it's not. And I'm so sorry for sounding so pessimistic, but truth is nothing is alright." I heard Brian saying slowly, his voice trembling.

"Brian, things are alright, only that right now you can't see it because..." Jen started saying mildly, but Brian interrupted her.

"No, it's not!" He exclaimed loudly, apparently a bit upset but his voice cracked, so that confused me, considering I couldn't see his face. "Let me ask you something... Would you feel everything is alright if each area of your life is going wrong?" He asked but Jen didn't answer, so there was a small pause. "College. I'm all the time doing my best to get the highest scores so that the vice president of the University will just consider, not decide, just contemplate and take into consideration my request to get a full scholarship due to my financial situation. I'm stressed out and I'm making a superhuman effort to get A+ in all my courses; and the other day I got an A- in one course and just because of that A- in my complete academic performance, the vice president told me last week that most probably I won't get the full scholarship. Only because I got an A-." He commented and his voice sounded frustrated and a bit angry. "Work. I like my job, but I have to work 8 hours per day, which means that as soon as I finish attending my courses I have one hour to have lunch before going to work, I return to the apartment at 9 pm, therefore I only have time to study and make my assignments at night because I start my courses at 8 am; I just sleep 4 hours a day, every day. All of this means I have no time for anything else. I can't take free times to relax, I can't spend time with friends, I can't do anything else than just attend my courses, work and study. This makes me feel tired all the time, I feel like I'm gonna explode if I don't take a little break, but due to the fact I'm not in condition to do so, I have to be contented by taking a shower to clear my mind. I'm jaded." He said and his voice totally denoted a hint of weariness. I could notice he was panting as Jen was absolutely silent, surely bewildered for what he was saying. "So friends, that's another thing. I don't have time for them and that makes me feel like shit. Do you think I haven't noticed that everyone treats me differently now? All of them seem to be distant, and it's all about the losing touch. It got to the point they don't know what to talk to me about, as though they no longer know who I am; I'm left behind in all the conversations because I'm not aware of what's been going on lately, I haven't been involved in all the moments that have happened, I'm like a kind of outsider. And it's not their fault, I know it's entirely my fault; because I am the one who has no time. Although they are distant, they always do extraordinary things for me, things that no one else has ever done for me, things I'll never be able to thank the enough; but instead of showing them my gratitude, I stay away and I can't give them a single minute of my life, and that fact makes me feel like a horrid person. I'm losing the few friends I have." He stated and this time his voice sounded as if he was disgusted with himself, as if he was loathing himself. "Then we have the love life; correction, the non-existent love life. I haven't dated, kissed, made love with any person in four years. I'm 21 years old and I still don't know how it's like to walk holding hands with the person you love; not even how it's like to look at the person you love and see her looking back at you the same way. I never went on a date and I never imagined with a girl how our future together could be. I never got anyone to tell me they want to have a family with me and grow old with me. No one ever told me 'I love you' because I never had a girlfriend who loved me for real. I've been in love with the same person for five years now, and that person rejected me when she found out my feelings for her; the only girl I've ever loved with all my being, rejected me. Not only I lost the person I love, but I also lost my best friend. And yeah, we talked and we agreed everything will be 'alright', but we both know that's a lie. Currently, the person I love, and my best friend, doesn't talk to me, doesn't look at me, doesn't listen to me; the person I love ignores me as though I don't exist; when I try to get close to her, she just walks away from me; she even said we're no longer friends. I need her like nobody else, but I can't have her. I'm aware she doesn't love me back and will never love me back, but I'm still in love with her; therefore, her distance hurts me deeply. It hurts so much." Brian said heavily, his voice sounding afflicted.

I looked down and bit my lips while hearing him saying those things about Freckles and his 'non-existent' love life. I didn't know he hasn't been with anyone for so long, not even kissed someone, not even experienced the feeling when someone loves you back and all things implied. That was sad. I really suffered when Freckles and I grew distant, but at least I had her one time, I got to feel how's like to love and be loved back; he never got that, he never got someone to tell him 'I love you'; his situation was much worse, right when I thought there couldn't be something worse than what I experienced. Jen was very silent and she didn't utter a single word, I really wanted to see the way she was looking at Brian; knowing her, she was looking at him in pity.

"Last but not least, we have the family. My dad is the only family I have, there's nobody else, just him; it was always only him. He took up the role as a father, he took up the role as a mother when she disappeared, he took up the role as a friend when I didn't have friends, and he took up the role as a teacher when I didn't know something because my troubles didn't allow me to concentrate at school. He was always everything in my life, not just my dad. And he's sick and the condition is bad. I'm trying to take care of him, I'm trying to make him get better, I'm trying to do as much as possible to see him fine; and he just acts as though I'm not doing the right thing. I don't know what he wants, I don't know why he's giving up, I don't know what to do; and that is driving me crazy; I feel impotent and frustrated. Then people keep reminding me his condition; and, goddammit, I'm aware there's no cure for his disease, I'm aware his disease is very advanced and there's nothing left to do, I'm aware it won't be long till he passes away; I think about it all the time, but I can't admit it out loud. I just can't take it. I can't stand the idea of losing the only family I have; I can't and I don't want to picture my life without him. I don't know what I'm gonna do without my dad, so I'm trying not to lose hope that is the only I have left; but each day is being harder and harder." He voiced in a mix of exasperation, concern and sorrow. Shit, man. Some kind of miracle should happen for his dad to get better; till now I didn't know what his father actually meant to him and how exactly he was feeling with this entire thing of his dad's disease. "I don't know what hideous things I did for life to treat me this badly, but I wish I could know so I'd make up for it. What am I doing wrong for all of this to happen to me? There must be something I'm doing wrong. I want to be happy with the people I love; I don't want anything else, I just want to be happy; I'm not even asking for it to last forever, but at least for a short period of time I want to feel happy." He stated in despair, but also in a weary and despondent way.

I frowned and pursed my lips. How could he think he was doing something wrong? He was just that kind of guy who was all the time doing the right thing, the one who was always doing things for others instead for himself, the one who was unselfish and benevolent; yeah, of course he made mistakes from time to time, he was a human being, but he couldn't be categorized as the bad kind of person. He really didn't deserve all of what was happening to him. And I never noticed he was unhappy because he was always smiling; now I realized how hard was for him to show a smile not to make us worry about him when deep down he was feeling miserable. And I realized that the loneliest people can be the kindest, the saddest people sometimes smile the brightest, the most damaged people are filled with wisdom. All because they do not wish the pain they've endured on another soul. Why was he like that? Why he seemed to be refusing other people's help and support? Well, at least he vented out with Jen, but he should have done it long time ago.

"So, please, don't tell me everything is fine, because it is not." Brian finished with a heavy sigh.

"Brian, as I'm concerned, you're not doing anything wrong and you'll be happy. Maybe is not alright yet, but it will be alright; one way or another, sooner or later, everything will be alright. You have to burrow down and find the wound, and if the burden of it is too terrible to shoulder, you have to shout it out; you have to shout for help... And then finally, the way through grief is grieving. It will get better." Jen said gently, and her voice sounded choked. I noticed she's been crying silently while Brian was talking.

"Maybe. But right now it seems it won't get better." He responded in a despondent way.

"All of us will help you to make it get better, but you have to let us help you; it's not a bad thing to lean on people when you need, and you need it right now." She replied kindly.

"I don't want people to feel pity for me." He responded gloomily.

"It won't be for pity. It'll be because we care about you, because you matter to us, because we love you, and just as you want the best for others, we want the best for you." Jen replied sweetly.

Oh, Jen and her ability to say the perfect words out the occasion; she couldn't have said it in a better and clearer way. I finally popped my head to look at them. Fortunately they didn't see me. Brian was looking down and propping his head on his hand as Jen had a hand placed on his thigh and was smiling faintly but warmly at him.

"Darren, what are you doing here?" Suddenly a voice asked loudly and I jumped.

Brian's dad. Damn shit. Brian and Jen turned their faces at my direction and looked at me fixedly, surprised and frowning slightly. I've been caught, what a horrible feeling. I began to babble very awkwardly.

"Uh... I was... Err..." I stammered like the biggest jerk.

"Darren, have you been listening to us?" Jen asked in suspicion. I bit my lips strongly and looked down out of shame. I couldn't lie.

"Yeah... I'm sorry." I answered, avoiding their gaze. Then I looked up and I saw Brian. "I'm sorry." I repeated.

"It's fine, Darren." Brian responded and grinned faintly.

"May I talk to my son in private?" Brian's dad asked and both Jen and I nodded as Brian looked down a bit sadly.

"Yes, just... One minute." I said quickly when Jen stood up. I walked towards Brian, I looked at him straight in the eye and I placed a hand on his shoulder before hugging him, then I tapped his back softly. "Keep in mind what Jen said. We want the best for you, so let us help you, bro."

"Thanks, buddy, for real." Brian answered in a whisper, also tapping my back.

After that, I stepped back and I let Jen hug him. I heard Brian saying 'thank you for everything' in her ear; Jen parted, rubbed his left arm, and smiled at him. Then she turned to me and we both glanced at Brian and his dad one last time before walking out the screened porch. Before closing the glazed sliding door, we heard one last thing.

"I'm so sorry for disappointing you, dad." Brian said, finally his voice sounding teary and breaking into tears.

We stopped for a while, I pursed my lips feeling kind of sad for hearing that and I glanced at Jen who was looking down and biting her lower lip with a distressed facial expression and teary eyes. Then we finally walked away. Chuck and Jack weren't there and Joey, Mandy, Freckles, February and Lucy either. I followed Jen who sat on the couch in the living room, sitting next to her. When I noticed she still had a sad facial expression, I moved closer and I wrapped an arm around her as she rested her head on my shoulder.

"You heard everything, Darren?" Jen asked in a whisper.

"Yeah, kind of... Since Brian was asking about his dad and what the doctor said." I answered honestly.

"He's not doing fine. He's going through real shit and I'm afraid he can... do something bad. He's strong, but at the same time he's weak." Jen whispered concerned and I frowned.

"What do you mean with something bad?" I asked confused but Jen didn't answer. "Jen, do you think he can... harm himself?"

"I don't know, but maybe. All of us always need to release the pent-up emotions, and if he doesn't do it by talking to someone, he most probably can do it by harming himself because the pent-up pain is too much." Jen answered sadly with a sigh.

"No... No, we won't let it happen, Jen. You said it, we're gonna help him, he's our friend." I assured and she nodded.

"I just hope he learns how not to keep hiding his feelings away." Jen whispered and bit her lips as I nodded silently. "He's a good person." She commented and I frowned.

"Yes, he is." I responded.

It was kind of weird all the things Jen was doing for him, considering they just met weeks ago… I mean, they did know already, but they were never friends till weeks ago; and the way she was acting was as though they were lifelong friends. Maybe this happened since Brian's dad moved here and Brian and Jen talked too often. After a while of deep silence, I looked at Jen and when I noticed she was just staring blankly, I thought it was time to tell her the other conversation I heard of Jack with this Danny guy, whoever he was. I had to take advantage now that he wasn't here.

"Jen, I have to tell you something." I started and she looked at me. "This morning, after breakfast, I walked outside to see how the house looks like and I saw this sort of room you have separated from the house at issue."

"Oh, it's a storage where I just put things I don't use anymore or that are broken and I have to fix." Jen answered and I nodded.

"Yeah, but that wasn't the point. Thing is when I went there… Well, your boyfriend was talking on the phone, Jen." I responded and she looked at me like 'so what?', as if it had no importance. "Uh, he was apparently talking to a friend, called Danny."

"Danny? Oh my god, no. Not again." Jen sighed heavily and propped her forehead on her hand as though she was jaded or frustrated.

"Yeah, and, uh, I don't know how to say this… Jack… He… He mentioned two girls, Anna and Trinity… He kinda, uh, cheated on you with those girls, Jen." I stammered like an idiot because I really didn't know how to tell her this. She looked at me frowning and narrowing her eyes.

"Anna and Trinity are my friends. They're friends with Jack too, maybe you misunderstood the conversation, Darren." Jen replied and I shook my head.

"No, Jen, I'm pretty sure I understood well. He mentioned about something that you never suspected he hooked up with them." I said and Jen shook her head.

"No, Darren… That's not possible. I'm pretty sure you didn't get it right." Jen said stubborn and I sighed.

"Jen, I'm telling you that's what he said. And he was also talking about stealing your money for something he's gonna do with his friend. I heard he said he did it before." I said very serious, looking into her eyes as she frowned, bit strongly her lower lip and closed her eyes.

"Yes, he has done it before. He paid me back, though." Jen sighed and looked at me as if she was embarrassed as I looked at her in disbelief. She knew that and she didn't do anything about? "Darren, it's so embarrassing to say this, but Jack has a problem. He's a compulsive gambler and so is his friend Danny." She confessed and I dropped my jaw in astonishment. Why was she dating a compulsive gambler? "That's why he takes my money, because he doesn't have much money; however, he always manages to pay me back. It's an addiction I'm helping him to overcome. He promised me he'd stop seeing his friend Danny because he's a bad influence; but apparently he broke it." She commented bitterly, raising an eyebrow, and then she sighed. "As any other addiction, it takes time to fully overcome it. He's trying and I'm doing my best to help him get it. He's not a bad person, he just has that problem." Jen added and I frowned in disgust.

"Why are you with someone like him, Jen?" I asked and she looked at me, raising her eyebrows in surprise.

"Because I love him, Darren." She answered as though it was an obvious answer.

"But, Jen... You deserve much more than him. He's just not worthy of you; and for what I heard in his conversation with his friend, he's not a good person. He just fakes it all, he fakes to be nice and all that shit only to get your money. He doesn't even love you, he's an asshole." I stated my opinion and I realized I shouldn't have said that as soon as I saw Jen's face. She seemed to be upset.

"Darren, stop, okay? I'm not asking you to like him, but at least respect him and respect me. I love him and I know he loves me; he doesn't want only my money as you said. And you don't know him, so don't say again that he's not a good person or that he fakes everything. You don't know how things are, you don't know how he is when he's with me, you don't know the things he does for me; so if you don't know, just don't opine, okay?" She said almost in a yell, very annoyed. Whoa. I was just trying to make her see that the guy wasn't good enough for her. "You know what? This should be a nice day and it's been already pretty shitty, so I don't want to keep adding more shitty things, so... leave it there. I'll just go buy something to cook this night." Jen voiced irritated as she stood up.

"Hey, Jen, I'm sorry, okay? I was just trying to say that you're an extraordinary person, therefore you deserve a better guy; not someone like Jack, and you know it. You deserve someone who can love you for real." I said, standing up to prevent her from walking away. Jen turned around to face me and I saw her frowning with teary eyes, clenching her jaw.

"What guy, Darren? Jack is all I can get. Do you think there's someone else who is gonna love me? Seriously, you say it because you're my friend, but who would want to be with me, eh?" Jen asked and her voice cracked as she shed few tears. I looked at her stunned.

"Lots of guys, Jen." I answered while frowning.

How could she ask something like this? I never thought she could be feeling like she wasn't good enough, or like she couldn't get anything better. I never imagined this could be the reason why she was with someone like Jack. Jen's been my friend since more than five years and I never imagined that she had low self-esteem or that no one could fall in love with her. I walked slowly towards her and I wrapped my arms around her as she rested her head on my chest and kept weeping silently.

"Listen Jen, I'm not gonna talk as your friend, I'm gonna talk like a guy. There's something you have that makes you unique and that makes people feel like they're blessed to have someone like you next to them. You're beautiful, you're an incredible person, and you're smart. You make people feel special. Any guy in their senses would fall for all of that, Jen. Guys like girls like you; all the things I mentioned are what drive guys crazy." I said very gently while rubbing her back. "Sometimes we, guys, tend to say that what we like most of a woman is her body or how sexy she is; but that's just when we're seeking to land a one-night stand. When we want to settle down and find a girl with whom we can picture a future, a girl to have a committed relationship, we look for girls like you: beautiful, kind-hearted and smart." I confessed and I parted to look deeply into her eyes, placing both hands on her cheeks as she was looking at me distressed, still with tears in her eyes. "So if you think no guy wants to be with you, that's only because you haven't met the right guy, the guy who's willing to settle down to have a committed relationship with you. But do not ever think again that it's because you're not deserving of a better guy; do not ever be in a relationship with someone who doesn't love you and who doesn't make you happy only because you feel like you're not worthy of having someone better by your side. Truth is that Jack is not good enough for you because I know you, so I know you deserve much better." I said kindly and smoothly as Jen looked down, pursed her lips and shed more tears. I frowned slightly. "You love Jack for real, Jen? Or are you with him only because you think there won't be anyone else?" I asked curiously.

"Both reasons. I don't think there will be someone else; and I love him. I'm in love with him, despite his addiction and all." Jen responded and it sounded honest, so I nodded, even if I didn't like the idea of Jen being in love with that jerk.

"Then I hope that your boyfriend changes his way and starts being the kind of person you deserve to have next to you." I sighed, stroking her hair. "But if he hurts you, if he does something too wrong, if he cheats on you or steals your money or something... Don't give him a second chance, Jen. There will be a better guy for you. Don't think he's the only one, because it's not like that. Do you promise?" I asked and she looked up at me and wiped her tears away.

"I promise." She replied, giving me a small smile before I kissed her forehead. "Thanks for telling me this, Darren."

"You silly, you don't have to thank me. I just want you to be happy, but happy for real." I said with a sweet grin. "Now, how about I accompany you to buy the groceries?" I asked, as a way to cheer her up and not make her have a shitty day as she mentioned before.

"That would be nice." She answered with a short giggle.

Although I changed the subject to cheer her up, I still didn't like her boyfriend and I still wanted him to get the fuck away of her life. He wouldn't mess with Jen, I wouldn't let it happen. I just wished Jen could break up with him because she really deserved someone better.

---

You spent the whole morning and even afternoon with February and Lucy. When Jen said she couldn't go, you thought you'd feel uncomfortable going shopping only with February and Chuck's girlfriend; you didn't know Lucy and you knew February but not that much, due to the fact there was a time she didn't want to see you. And Mandy disappeared with Joey, duh. Nonetheless, you had a really good time with them. You were fascinated with NYC and so was February, and it was good to have Lucy with you because she knew about a lot of places where you could go. You went to the mall Mandy said to buy clothes and shoes, also to buy some Christmas presents; then Lucy took you to the Metropolitan Museum of Art, the Lincoln Center for the Performing Arts, the Morningside Park, and to the Tavern on the Green. Then you went to the Central Park and walked through the Conservatory Garden, the Bow Bridge and then you went to the Strawberry Fields and you got to see the tribute to John Lennon, the iconic black and white Imagine mosaic, you knew this area was designed for John Lennon and Yoko Ono because it was their favorite area in Central Park and in the Dakota Apartments adjacently located to this area of the park, John Lennon was murdered. It was a wonderful moment for you. After that, you went to the woodsy northwest corner of the park, hiked for like 15 minutes in the woods and then emerged at a picnic-picture-perfect Pool with a weeping-willow waterfront. That place was so beautiful; you couldn't believe that in the big city there could be a place like this; you felt like you were really camping in the woods. There you spread a blanket that Lucy brought and you had a picnic. This moment, somehow, helped you to disconnect you from all that was happening lately and all you were thinking was how nice and relaxing this place was. But after a while you started thinking the way you acted this morning. You weren't proud of it, of the rude way you acted around Brian and the way you ignored him; but you couldn't help it. You were trying to show him how awful it was for you when he ignored you for the last weeks since you returned from San Francisco. You weren't feeling so bad for doing this at the beginning, but then, when his dad told him those things and he left the house, noticeably feeling like crap, you felt bad and you realized that the way wasn't to ignore him and make him feel what he made you feel in the last weeks, but to just talk to him and let him know the way he made you feel. Hence, by the time February, Lucy and you returned to Jen's house, you were decided to talk to him; but not today because today you had to celebrate Christmas Eve; but at least you weren't going to treat him bad or to pretend he wasn't there. When you arrived, Mandy and Joey were already there and they were in the living room, talking to Jen, Darren, Chuck, Jack and Brian's dad; but Brian wasn't there. Lucy, February and you left the shopping bags in your respective bedrooms and then you joined them.

"Where's Brian?" You asked curiously.

Everybody looked at you abruptly as though they couldn't believe you were mentioning him, as though it was something weird to hear from you; even Joey and Mandy, who weren't in the breakfast, were looking at you that way, maybe the others told them what happened. Alright, cool, now everybody thought you were some sort of bitch who didn't care about Brian.

"He's in the kitchen, Freckles. He offered to make dinner and dessert for tonight." Jen answered gently and you grinned at her.

"Okay, thank you, Jen. I'll see if he needs some help." You announced and stood up as everybody remained looking at you in that bewildered way.

When you walked in the kitchen, you saw Brian giving you his back because he was cooking. You remained standing there, just looking at him cooking quietly and whistling a song, completely clueless that someone was there. You, slowly, walked to him and stood next to him; when he noticed someone was there, he jumped in fear; and when he looked at you, you chuckled softly.

"I didn't mean to scare you." You apologized.

"It's alright. I just didn't know you were here." He grinned faintly and returned to cook, apparently a crown roast of pork. Then a deep silence invaded the room. "So, uh, how was your day with February and Lucy?"

"It was really nice, we went to museums." You responded, handing him the olive oil he was looking for as he muttered thanks and rubbed the roast all over with olive oil. "We also went to the Central Park."

"I'm sure you went to the Strawberry Fields; I mean, you love The Beatles, so…" He commented while sprinkling the roast with sage, thyme, salt and pepper as you looked at him amazed. How would he know?

"Yes, I went there. It was really beautiful." You responded with a soft smile as he was peeling the onion, shedding some tears because of it. "Do you want me to help you?" You asked and he shook his head while wiping his tears away.

"No, it's okay. Thank you, though." He answered while pushing the onion all the way into center of roast. After that, he wrapped the ends of bones with foil and poured broth into roasting pan and then placed it on the oven. "Well, it'll be ready in about four hours." He said but then he brought two large pots of water to boil and added cauliflower in one pot and broccoli in the other.

"What are you cooking?" You asked intrigued and he grinned faintly.

"Oh, several things for all tastes. It's crown roast of pork, broccoli and cauliflower tower, sausage and fall-fruit stuffing, garlic mashed-potato gratin, carrots with lemon-chive butter, corn pudding with scallions and red pepper; and for dessert caramel-pear-cheesecake trifle. Also, I'm cooking Rocky Road-peanut butter candy cups, that combines chocolate, miniature marshmallows and nuts." He answered and you dropped your jaw. That would be your best Christmas dinner ever.

"Brian, oh my god, you're gonna kill all of us with that. Everything seems just so delicious." You commented and he grinned as he was mixing with a rubber spatula butter, lemon zest and juice, chives, sugar, salt and pepper and then placed carrots in a large pot and covered with water. "You have to cook a lot of dishes. Why don't you let me help you?" You offered again as he drained the cauliflower and broccoli he cooked minutes ago.

"Oh no, really, it's fine. Besides, it's Christmas Eve and you should enjoy this day with your friends, not to be locked in the kitchen. Seriously, I have all managed." He answered as he filled a bowl tightly, starting with a layer of cauliflower and alternating with a layer of broccoli. "I think the guys wanted to play some kind of game and they were waiting for you, February and Lucy. You should go and have a good time." He added while putting the bowl in the microwave.

"And what about you? You won't play the game?" You asked while handing him the eggs to blend them with cream, sugar, butter, flour, baking powder and salt in a blender.

"Well, I'm cooking, so I can't play the game." He responded with a chuckle.

"But it's unfair that you're alone here while all of us are playing games." You replied while Brian added the corn in the blend until it was nearly smooth.

"I just want to cook something tasty for all of you, so it'll be worth it." He answered while shrugging as he stirred in scallions and bell pepper to then pour it into a dish to bake it. Then he looked at you and grinned. "I like cooking, Sunny. You should be with your friends."

"And aren't you also my friend?" You questioned, looking deeply into his eyes; feeling kind of rejected by the way he was insisting so hard for you to go. He grinned faintly and looked down, nodding.

"I think so… But you'll have a better time if you play those games and all." He answered and then covered the potatoes and garlic with cold water in a large pot to bring it to boil. You just remained looking at him serious, feeling bad again. Why has he changed?

"As you wish, Brian." You stated coldly and then turned around.

"Sunny." You heard him whispering, apparently in an afflicted way. "Please, don't get mad." He said sadly when you turned your face to look at him. He finally stopped doing stuff to pay you attention. "I just want you to enjoy Christmas Eve, because you came here to have fun and you're not gonna have fun with me." He added. Excuses. Always excuses.

"Yeah, okay, whatever." You huffed and turned your face again.

"Sunny…" Brian whispered again, but you started walking away until he took you by the elbow.

"Argh, don't touch me, Brian." You voiced harshly, letting go your elbow. You could glance at him and you saw him looking down and pursing his lips.

"Sorry." He muttered.

"Yeah, I'll just… go with my friends." You announced and started walking away again.

"Is there something I've done to you?" You heard Brian asking and this made you stop, but you didn't look at him.

"Yes… But I don't wanna talk about it now. You said it, it's Christmas Eve and I should enjoy it." You answered curtly.

"Please, tell me because this whole situation is making me feel like crap." You heard him saying in an anguished way.

"I said not now, sorry." You answered firmly.

You finally left the kitchen and you didn't even look back to see his face, because you knew he could be either upset or afflicted. You walked to the couch and joined everybody. As Brian mentioned, they wanted to play a game; so you all played Monopoly, Trivial Pursuit, and card games such as Go Boom and Bullshit. Then you played a game called 'Guess the song', because Darren, Chuck and Joey insisted so much to play it. Owing to the fun time you were having, you didn't realize that it was almost 10 pm; actually nobody realized so until Brian popped up in the living room to announce dinner was ready. Brian already had set the table, so all of you sat in your respective seats; everybody sat according to couples, so you chose to sit next to Brian's dad and not next to Brian. The dinner, as you presumed, was ridiculously delicious and it was for sure one of the best meals he has cooked; owing to this, everybody complimented him and he just muttered 'thank you' in a very modest way with a shy grin. You couldn't remember the last time you ate so much and so pleasantly, without feeling guilt; this was because since you moved out from the dorm room you shared with Brian, you haven't had a good meal. The dinner was quiet but enjoyable, having Joey, Darren and Chuck in the same room next to George could mean nothing but amusement; they all were really funny, and Mandy, February, Jen and Lucy complemented them with their silly comments; you also took part of the conversation joking here and there while Jack was kind of reserved, maybe he didn't share the same sense of humor than you all. And well, there was also Brian, who didn't talk too much; in fact, if he commented something it was just three or four times. He was just glancing at you from time to time, something that made you feel a bit uncomfortable; but you ignored that, in order to have a good dinner. It was near midnight when you finished dinner, and you all went to the screened porch, where the Christmas tree with all the presents were. You sat on the poufs in front of the fireplace, each one of you with a glass of champagne for the toast.

"I have an original idea to give each other our presents, just to make this more entertaining." Chuck suddenly stated in a mysterious way, so he gained the attention of all of you.

"What's your idea, bro?" Darren asked while eating one of the candy cups Brian cooked.

"After the toast..." Chuck began to explain but your gaze drifted to Darren and February.

You observed how February was stealing Darren his candy cup and how they kissed while chuckling. Then you observed the whole situation: Darren and February were cuddling, Jen was resting her head on Jack's lap as he was stroking her hair, Chuck had an arm wrapped around Lucy as she was resting her head on his shoulder, Joey was sitting behind Mandy in the same pouf and he was enfolding his arms around Mandy's waist as she was resting her head on his chest. It all seemed like the perfect picture for a lovely Christmas card: all the couples reunited in the same room, in front of the cozy fireplace and the big Christmas tree while outside was snowing; all of them having the perfect Christmas. But in the background, George, Brian and you were there; somehow like ruining the perfect image. Well, at least Brian was with his dad and they were sitting next to each other; Brian's dad wrapping an arm around his son. But you... You were alone, sitting like in the middle of all the couples and the father with his son. You shouldn't have thought about this.

"Freckles, hey!" Chuck suddenly called you up and you remembered he was talking. "Have you been listening at least?" He asked and you parted your lips and frowned.

"Uh, no... Sorry, my mind was just wandering. It's the effect of being in front of the fireplace. It has a weird effect, I know." You joked with a soft giggle.

"Well, I was saying that after the toast and considering that we bought one present for each, that's why we gathered money from each, we could give the present in an original way. I was thinking that each one of the boys could sing one song to one of the girls we choose. For example, I pick one song and I choose Lucy to sing her a song, then I give her the present we all bought for her and she gives me the present you all bought for me. So?" Chuck asked enthusiastically.

"You need to keep in mind that not all of us can sing. I'm really bad at singing." Jack commented.

"Yeah, I second that." Brian added.

"So what? I'm not the best singer in the world, yet I find Chuck's idea really cool. We won't judge how we sing; it'll be something funny to do." Joey said.

"Yeah, I think Joey's right. Chuck's idea is totally awesome." Darren commented.

"I actually find it pretty interesting, it's surprising to know there are still neurons in the brains of these people; so I appreciate that and I vote in favor. At least, we won't do the traditional, and completely boring and lame not to mention almost pathetic, procedure of opening the presents. I think it's a good idea." Mandy stated, as usual, in her sarcastic and joking way, but in all seriousness at the same time.

"I vote in favor too. It's always nice to hear songs and all that." February added with an amused grin.

"Vote in favor." Lucy voiced with a soft snigger.

"You already know I'm absolutely in favor of this idea. George, what do you think?" Jen asked kindly, looking at Brian's dad who smiled.

"I think it'll be nice and funny. An unusual way to celebrate Christmas, and unusual is always good." George responded with an amused smile.

"It seems to me that almost all the votes are in favor. Freckles, what's your opinion?" Chuck asked, looking fixedly at you and you raised your eyebrows and babbled.

"I think it's one of the best and most original ideas I've ever heard. My vote is in favor." You answered with a wide smile.

"We have 9 votes in favor and 2 votes against. It seems we're gonna do this!" Chuck exclaimed excited and triumphant.

After that, you all grabbed one glass of champagne and waited till it was midnight. George said some words during the toast and, immediately afterwards, you clinked your glasses and exclaimed at the same time 'Merry Christmas' before sipping the champagne. So then the game began. Chuck was the one who started and of course he chose Lucy; he sang 'Lucy in the sky with diamonds' and then he gave Lucy her present as she gave him his present. You all bought a dress, a pair of heels, earrings and a purse for Lucy and bought a metronome for Chuck due to the fact Lucy mentioned he needed one but never bought it. Then Jack chose Jen and he sang 'Stand by me'; he gave Jen her present, Select-A-Date New York Times jigsaw puzzle and a Quicktionary TS; and Jen gave Jack his present, a Financial Times desk diary and a coffee cup Power Inverter. Now it was Joey's turn. He chose Mandy. Alright, you saw this coming. Then Darren would surely choose February, and then Brian would be forced to sing to you; of course, you were the only ones who were single. Damn, you started hating this idea. Oh, but wait, there was also George; maybe Brian could sing for him, then you'd be the only one who wouldn't get a song. Great. However, you were intrigued to know what song Joey would sing to Mandy, this made you grin amused. Joey looked at Darren in conspiracy and Darren walked away. Joey didn't sing anything until Darren returned with a keyboard. Surely Darren helped Joey to pick a song earlier. Joey kneeled in front of Mandy and took both of her hands as Mandy looked at him stunned, with eyes wide open and feeling a bit uncomfortable. Mandy was probably the less romantic person ever, so this made you giggle.

I remember all my life

Raining down as cold as ice.

Shadows of a man,

A face through a window cryin' in the night,

The night goes into

Morning just another day;

Happy people pass my way.

Looking in their eyes,

I see a memory I never realized how happy you made me.

Oh Mandy well,

You came and you gave without taking,

But I sent you away.

Oh, Mandy well,

Kissed me and stopped me from shaking,

And I need you today.

Oh, Mandy!

I'm standing on the edge of time;

I've walked away when love was mine.

Caught up in a world of uphill climbing,

The tears are in my mind and nothin' in rhyming.

Oh Mandy well,

You came and you gave without taking,

But I sent you away.

Oh, Mandy well,

Kissed me and stopped me from shaking,

And I need you today.

Oh, Mandy!

Yesterday's a dream

I face the morning

Crying on a breeze

The pain is calling

Oh Mandy

Well, you came and you gave without taking

But I sent you away oh, Mandy

Well, you kissed me and stopped me from shaking

And I need you today Oh, Mandy

You came and you gave without taking

But I sent you away oh, Mandy

Well, you kissed me and stopped me from shaking

And I need you.

Alright, that was super cute! Mandy looked at Joey still stunned, but then she smiled sweetly. Mandy, your sister, smiled in a sweet way. Something was wrong with the world. Right after this, Joey kissed Mandy and then they laughed. Joey gave Mandy her present, a Fashionary planner and a sewing and embroidery machine; and Mandy gave Joey his present, audio books of several plays and novels and a Shakespeare insults mug, he needed to get something funny and of course he loved it. Darren's turn. You knew who he would choose even before he mentioned her: February. Darren grinned widely and grabbed his guitar and looked at February straight in her eye as she looked at him with an intrigued and a bit amused facial expression. What would Darren sing to her? What if it was a super cheesy and romantic song? You weren't sure if you were ready to listen. Or worse yet... What if Darren wrote a song for her? Not to sound selfish, but you liked the idea of Darren writing songs only for you. Everybody was expectant and everybody was grinning, except you. You were just looking down. And Darren started playing his guitar.

Wise men say only fools rush in

But I can't help falling in love with you

Shall I stay?

Would it be a sin?

If I can't help falling in love with you

Like a river flows surely to the sea

Darling so it goes

Some things are meant to be

Take my hand, take my whole life too

For I can't help falling in love with you

Like a river flows surely to the sea

Darling so it goes

Some things are meant to be

Take my hand, take my whole life too

For I can't help falling in love with you

For I can't help falling in love with you

Yes, that was a very sweet song, one of the greatest songs by Elvis Presley and his version of the song sounded even better than the original. Of course February was smiling tenderly at him. Darren kissed February and he smiled in front of her lips as you looked down. You really wished you could have someone to sing you that song. Damn, why did you have to be single in middle of couples? You looked up when Darren gave February her present, a collection of winter clothes designed by Mandy as February wanted; February seemed to be extraordinarily happy when she saw her present and she wouldn't stop saying thanks. Then she gave Darren his present. You chose those presents; you thought he would like them. It was a didgeridoo and a mandolin. It was gratifying to see Darren's face when he saw his presents. He was insanely excited and happy. He played the mandolin a bit before he put aside and everybody looked at Brian, who was evidently playing dumb. It was his turn and, as you suspected, he would sing for you. And geez, you really didn't want so because you didn't know what kind of awkward song he would pick. For this reason, you just remained looking away and got distracted with your empty glass of champagne.

"Brian? It's your turn." Chuck hurried, noticeably because Brian was also staring his empty glass of champagne.

"Oh, right!" Brian exclaimed with a nervous giggle. "Uh... We have a problem, I think... Uh... It's like... You know, we still have to give presents to my dad and Sunny... So... Why don't we skip the song, eh?" Brian asked awkwardly.

"Brian Thomas Clerk, you're gonna sing." Mandy demanded severely.

"Yeah, man. I suck at singing, yet I sang. It's only fair if you sing." Jack commented.

"Totally, bro! Do not screw the game!" Joey exclaimed.

Damn, why wouldn't they just shut up and let Brian in peace? For the first time in a long you agreed with Brian. You did not want him to sing. But no, everybody was now complaining as you and Brian were feeling really uncomfortable.

"Hey, man, you could sing for both of them. I think that would be a good solution." Darren suggested.

Well, that could be good, you thought. You looked up and for some reason your gaze fixed on Jen. She was looking at you and Brian and she seemed to be thoughtful; it seemed she noticed you both were feeling uncomfortable. Hopefully she would stop with this all and suggest that you could skip Brian's turn.

"Brian, I think you should sing something as everybody did. It's only fair." Jen commented and you looked at her bewildered. Oh no, Jen. "But I think that due to the fact that we're an odd number of people, so that your dad and Freckles both need to receive their presents; you could just sing one random song. It doesn't necessarily have to be a meaningful song dedicated to someone, or them in this case. Just sing one song you like." She suggested and you agreed. Yes, this would be the best.

"That's actually a great idea. Sing one song you like, it doesn't have to be dedicated." Darren stated as though he also realized you and Brian were uncomfortable.

"Alright, fine. I'll sing one random song and it won't be dedicated... But just so you know, I'm the worst singer in the whole wide world." Brian sighed in resignation, looking down.

"I completely and unconditionally agree with that. Sorry, Brian, but it's the truth." Mandy commented.

Everybody looked at Mandy as though they were thinking it was a rude comment, but Brian looked at her and laughed while nodding. You and George smiled amused; because you knew Mandy was this teaser and because, well, because it was true, Brian wasn't a good singer.

"Okay, it doesn't matter. Just sing something, buddy." Chuck said and Brian nodded, bit his lips and took a deep breath.

Time of day I can't recall,

The kind of thing that takes its toll.

Over years and over time,

Over smiles and over wine.

All in all it wasn't bad,

All in all it wasn't good,

But I still care.

That's the problem with the days

They're never long enough to say,

What it is you never said,

All the books you never read.

I throw myself into the wind

Hoping somebody might pick me up

And carry me again.

Where are you now?

Do you let me down?

Do you make me grieve for you?

Do I make you proud?

Do you get me now?

Am I your pride and joy?

I believe this to be true

There's nothing sacred, nothing new.

No one tells you when it's time.

There are no warnings, only signs.

Then you know that you're alone,

You're not a child anymore,

But you're still scared.

All your mountains turn to rocks.

All your oceans turn to drops.

They are nothing like you thought;

You can't be something you are not.

Life is not a looking glass.

Don't get tangled in your past,

Like I am learning not to.

Where are you now?

Do you let me down?

Do you make me grieve for you?

Do I make you proud?

Do you get me now?

Am I your pride and joy?

During all the song, Brian remained looking down. He actually didn't sing it as bad as you thought he would, his voice was getting better. Maybe it was the way he sang the song, with emotion, as though he was really feeling what the song said. And if he was feeling what the song said, you felt kinda bad. You noticed everybody was looking fixedly at Brian, as an abysmal silence filled the room; they were looking at him sadly, perhaps because they also noticed he was feeling the song. You glanced at his dad; he was pursing his lips and looking at his son in a distressed way. You turned your gaze to Brian again; he was still looking down, biting his lower lip, silent and he had a gloomy facial expression. You tried to look into his eyes, and then you saw a hint of sorrow in his green eyes. Could he be feeling that he wasn't making people feel proud of him? Could he be thinking nobody considered him as a pride and joy? 'You know that you're alone', 'I throw myself into the wind, hoping somebody might pick me up and carry me again', 'That's the problem with the days, they're never long enough to say, what it is you never said' and 'You can't be something you are not. Life is not a looking glass. Don't get tangled in your past' and the chorus in general were parts of the song he emphasized. What was wrong with him? You couldn't understand him lately, he didn't tell you anything; but he wasn't doing well, that was obvious. The silence was too awkward. Brian finally looked up and chuckled in a jittery way.

"I said I was a terrible singer." He voiced in a comfortless way, again chuckling nervously; yet nobody laughed and everybody remained serious. "Well, uh... Dad, here's your present..." He stated, handing him his present. "I hope you like it, we all thought you'd like it and we thought it could be really recreational." He added, grinning kindly.

His dad smiled at him, it was more like a half-smile, as his eyes were still looking deeply into his son's eyes. George opened his present and it was a trunk-it golf gear case, a Tee-Rific golf ball and tee box set, an iron golf club, and a Putt N Hazard putting mat. His dad looked at the presents with eyes wide open, completely amazed; George always loved golf. He looked at Brian again, who was grinning brightly, and George pulled Brian into a warm embrace, something that made you and everybody in the room smile.

"I'm stunned! Thank you very much, guys. I always loved golf. Now I'll have to challenge you." George joked and everybody laughed. Brian smiled again and gave him a hug.

"Merry Christmas. I love you, daddy." You heard Brian whispering as his dad rubbed his back.

"Merry Christmas; I love you too, son. And you were, are and will always be my pride and joy." You heard George whispering.

Brian made a muffled sound, probably as result of trying to hold back his tears. You had to look down not to shed some tears because you thought that maybe this would be the last Christmas they would spend together. Possibly everybody thought the same because they were looking at Brian and George with sad half-smiles; you even caught Jen looking away and wiping away one tear. Jen was tearing up? Well, yeah, maybe because she now knew George, in view of the fact that he lived with her. When Brian and his dad parted, George kissed Brian's forehead and then Brian walked towards you, with a timid grin, handing you a gift box.

"Merry Christmas, Sunny. We hope you like it." He said shyly and you received it.

"Thank you." You replied with a nice half-smile.

Oh, okay, it was kind of heavy. You, carefully, opened it and you dropped you jaw when you saw the gift. No way. It was a soft pastels box set of 400 assorted colors, an oil painting set, an art markers set of 156 assorted colors, an artist colored pencil set, and an oil painting accessory set. This had to be some sort of joke. They could not have bought this for you; all of these sets were ridiculously expensive, you knew that.

"Jesus." You voiced in amazement and shock.

"Do you like it?" Brian asked hesitantly. You looked up and saw him frowning slightly.

"I... Geez. I love it. Oh gosh, thank you a lot, guys. Thank you." You stated in a very grateful way, now smiling widely.

"It was really easy to get you a present, sis. You're so damn easy." Mandy joked and you giggled. "And with this I mean we know her way too much, so don't look at me that way, everybody!" She snapped and all of you laughed.

"Well, now... Freckles? Would you... you know?" Darren said, looking at the last present under the Christmas tree.

"Oh yes, sure." You responded quickly. You stood up, took the present and walked towards Brian. "Merry Christmas, Brian." You said with a soft smile and you returned to your pouf before he could kiss your cheek or hug you or something like that.

"Thank you." He said and attempted to open the gift box.

"No! Do not open the gift yet." Darren interrupted him and Brian frowned in confusion.

"Alright?" He articulated very slowly, still confused.

"We have prepared a special gift for you." February said with a cheerful smile.

"Considering how special you are..." Mandy added. "And, Clerk, you better don't make fun of me for saying that." She threatened and you chuckled.

"Also, considering that you're the coolest bro..." Joey said as Brian started looking suspiciously at them.

"We planned an interactive present." Chuck commented.

"Like a sort of game." Lucy added and by now Brian was really suspicious and confused.

"And considering you missed our games this afternoon due to the fact you were cooking dinner for all of us..." Jack said.

"And, in view of the fact that you won't do it for yourself and we think this is necessary for you, we will force you to relax, play and have fun." Brian's dad finished saying.

"Okay... What's this all about?" Brian asked intrigued.

"It's a game." Darren answered while shrugging. "Sit down, Clerk. You're now at our command." He joked and Brian chuckled and did what Darren requested. "The game is like this... Each one of us will quote some things and with all the quotes we say you'll have to guess what your present is. If you guess, you keep the present and nothing else happens. But, if you don't guess, you'll have to perform a dare, we'll set you a dangerous and embarrassing task and once you perform it satisfactorily, you'll be able to keep your gift." He explained with a mischievous smirk.

"This is not fair at all." Brian replied, looking fixedly at Darren. "Why do I have to..?"

"Shut up, this is the game and you have no options." Mandy interrupted him.

"Alright, I'll start." Darren announced. "It wasn't only wickedness and scheming that made people unhappy, it was confusion and misunderstanding; above all, it was the failure to grasp the simple truth that other people are as real as you." He quoted in a very vehement way as Brian frowned.

"There's a taste in the air, sweet and vaguely antiseptic, that reminds him of his teenage years in these streets, and of a general state of longing, a hunger for life to begin that from this distance seems like happiness." Joey quoted, also in a vehement way.

"From this new and intimate perspective, she had learned a simple, obvious thing she had always known, and everyone knew: that a person is, among all else, a material thing, easily torn, not easily mended." Mandy voiced, her voice sounding deep and almost poetic.

"But to do it's noticing and judging, poetry balances itself on the pinprick of the moment. Slowing down, stopping yourself completely, to read and understand a poem is like trying to acquire an old-fashioned skill." Jack said slowly.

"The cost of oblivious daydreaming was always this moment of return, the realignment with what had been before and now seemed a little worse." February quoted. Brian was just looking at each one of them, frowning, very thoughtful.

"But how to do feelings? All very well to write 'She felt sad', or describe what a sad person might do, but what of sadness itself, how was that put across so it could be felt in all its lowering immediacy? Even harder was the threat, or the confusion of feeling contradictory things." Chuck stated in a very slow way, as though he was reading a book.

"He knew these last lines by heart and mouthed them now in the darkness. My reason for life. Not living, but life. That was the touch. And she was his reason for life, and why he must survive." Lucy said as if she was saying an emotional speech.

"I'll wait for you. Come back. The words were not meaningless, but they didn't touch him now. It was clear enough: one person waiting for another was like an arithmetical sum, and just as empty of emotion. Waiting. Simply one person doing nothing, over time, while another approached. Waiting was a heavy word." Jen quoted with mellow voice, looking deeply into Brian's eyes as he was deep in thought.

"In a story you only had to wish, you only had to write it down and you could have the world. It seemed so obvious now that it was too late: a story was a form of telepathy. By means of inking symbols onto a page, she was able to send thoughts and feelings from her mind to her reader's. It was a magical process, so commonplace that no one stopped to wonder at it. Reading a sentence and understanding it was the same thing; as with the crooking of a finger, nothing lay between them. There was no gap during which the symbols were unraveled." Brian's dad spoke with clear and deep voice, looking at his son with a soft grin.

It was your turn. You took a deep breath and looked straight into Brian's green eyes. When his eyes met yours, you began to speak with clear, deep and mellow voice.

"It marked the beginning and, of course, an end. At that moment a chapter, no, a whole stage of my life closed. Had I known, and had there been a spare second or two, I might have allowed myself a little nostalgia." You recited, looking intensely into his green eyes which began to glow. You had to shift your gaze because his eyes looked striking. "Wasn't writing a kind of soaring, an achievable form of flight, of fancy, of the imagination?" You said your last quote and looked up again. Brian was still looking at you, but now he seemed to be absorbed, deep in thought.

"So... What do you think your present is?" Darren asked and everybody looked at Brian expectant. He was frowning and biting his lower lip, now looking down.

"All of the quotations have two common things." Brian responded and looked up, at nowhere in particular. "The first thing in common is that they all are quotations from books. Then, all of them belong to the same author." Brian stated and all of you exchanged looks. No fucking way he guessed so quickly. You were almost sure he knew the answer. "The author's name's Ian McEwan and the books from where you took the quotes are Enduring Love, Atonement, and Saturday." He added and you dropped you jaw, as everybody did. "So... If I have to guess... I'd say the present are those books. Am I wrong?" Brian asked hesitantly and you were just looking at him disbelief. Your game didn't work as you expected.

"Dammit, man. What a shit! I knew he would get it!" Joey exclaimed in frustration and everybody laughed.

"Does it mean I'm right?" Brian asked excited.

"Wait, no... No, that's not... No, you missed something." Darren said quickly, obviously he, as everybody else, wanted Brian to lose to make him perform the funny task.

"Wait, wait... I'm not finished..." Brian added. "Considering that the box is kinda heavy, there's no way here can be only three books... Should I assume my present is the collection of Ian McEwan's books?" He asked, now looking fixedly and curiously at Darren as Darren groaned in frustration.

"You shouldn't have assumed such a thing!" Darren complained and Brian frowned in confusion.

"You totally screwed the game, Clerk." Mandy also complained.

"What? Did I lose?" Brian asked.

"No, you won! That's why you screwed the game! You bastard... You knew it since the beginning, I'm sure." Joey responded, also in frustration. Excluding Mandy, Darren and Joey, the rest of you were chuckling amused.

"Oh, I see! You wanted me to perform that dangerous and embarrassing task! How nice!" Brian mocked and laughed amused. "Is here really the collection of his books? Like, really?" Brian asked now astonished.

"Open it and check it by yourself." Jen answered gently, with a nice grin.

Brian quickly opened the gift box and when he saw, indeed, the collection of Ian McEwan's books, he parted his lips and raised his eyebrows in surprise. Jen was the one who chose his present; she said George commented her that Brian liked this author.

"I can't believe this. This is... Geez, this is one of the best... Thank you so very much, guys!" Brian exclaimed cheerfully and still amazed.

"You probably would want to open the first book, you might find something there." Jen commented and all of you looked at her abruptly, intrigued. What? You didn't know there was something else. "And could you please read it out loud?" Jen requested gently as Brian nodded and opened the first book.

"Dear Mr. Brian T. Clerk, Merry Christmas for this promising young author. I was requested to sign my collection of books and I was rewarded with a book you might know, it's called 'Hiding my heart away' and its author's name is just the same as this recipient's name." Brian read out loud and all of you looked at him stunned.

Alright, what? What was this? 'Hiding my heart away'? What was that book? Brian wrote and published a book? Was it his book? You were completely confused and it seemed everyone else was as confused as you were. You noticed how Brian looked fixedly and very serious at Jen, who was grinning.

"What is this, Jen?" Brian asked and his voice trembled. It seemed he was discontented, or puzzled, or even scared. Why would he mention Jen? Did Jen know something about this?

"Just keep reading, will you?" Jen requested, still smiling joyfully. Brian clenched his jaw and bit his lower lip; however, he kept reading.

"I decided to read the book before writing this note and I took the boldness to give you a short review." Brian read out loud and now his voice was trembling. "I understand you're a young author who's currently acquiring English Language and Literature knowledge; but let me tell you that you write better than hundreds of people with established literary reputations. You understand your characters and their implications, and you take the trouble to make sure that they have implications. Without cheating or bellowing or tearing a passion to tatters, you can bring a reader to that alert participation that is the truest proof of fiction's effectiveness. You think ten times where a lot of writers throb once. This book of yours is less entertainment than philosophical meditation presented in terms of personalities in action. It is serious, even sad; its colors and lights are autumnal. It describes how love lasts, but changes, how life is full of heats and frustrations, causes and triumphs, and death is cool and quiet. It does not sound like much, summarized, and yet it embodies everything you believe about yourself and about human life and at least some aspects of the people you have most loved. In your novel, anguish and resignation are almost in balance. Your people live on the page and in the memory because they have been loved and therefore have been richly imagined. I like the sense of intimate knowing that your novel gives me. After all, what are any of us after but the conviction of belonging? You have nothing to gain and nothing to give except as you distill and purify ephemeral experience into quiet, searching, touching little stories like the one you have just finished, and so give your uncommon readers a chance to join you in the solidarity of pain and love and the vision of human possibility. It was a pleasure for me to read your book and I'm glad you decided to publish and share it with the rest of us who can immensely learn from your honest and profound words. Sincerely, Ian McEwan." Brian finished reading with shaky voice, his eyes teary and his body slightly trembling. "I can't believe this." He whispered, completely perplexed.

You looked at Brian bewildered, frowning, with parted lips; then you clenched your jaw and looked down, narrowing your eyes. You couldn't believe this. He indeed published a book and Jen knew about it, not only Jen but also that author, Ian whatshisname. And, apparently, no one else knew about that because they were just as befuddled as you were. Brian didn't tell you a damn shit about his book. What was this?

"I don't understand this, son. Would you mind to explain us why Mr. McEwan wrote such things?" George asked politely and Brian looked at him and chuckled, apparently still puzzled.

"I… I published a book and Jen sent this to the author and… Apparently Mr. McEwan liked it. Can you… Can you believe it?" Brian asked shocked.

You looked at Brian furiously and you began to feel a cold sensation throughout your whole body. And everybody wondered why you were acting coldly and harshly around Brian; the guy didn't even mention about the existence of a book. Yeah, but he claimed to be your best friend. You leered at Brian scornfully and you stood up, feeling your body shaking because of the anger and feeling completely strained. You clenched your fist and your teeth and, without uttering a single word, you turned around and left the room. You didn't want to be there any other single second or you were going to explode with rage and yell like an insane and deranged person, and the least you wanted was to screw everybody's Christmas. You noticed everybody looked at you in confusion, you heard Brian calling your name and looking at you confused and perhaps a bit distressed; yet you did not stop. You took your coat, you put on your beanie, scarf and gloves and you left Jen's house. You didn't even bring your phone, so that nobody would try to contact you. It was around 2 am, it was snowing and blustery. It was freaking freezing outside; nevertheless, you walked away and you didn't mind at all. It was such the heat you were feeling because of your fury, that you didn't even notice the cold. You spent hours and on walking around, trying to calm this madness you were feeling before returning to the house. After like two hours, you entered Jen's house. All lights were off and you could hear nothing but the profound silence. They were all already sleeping. Good thing, you thought. You didn't even want to go to your bedroom because Brian would be there; but, hopefully, he would be sleeping. However, you headed to your bedroom, opened the door and turned on the lights. What you saw inside surprised you. Brian was not there, but lots of balloons of diverse colors were floating inside the bedroom. Each one of the balloons had a ribbon and each one of the ribbons was tying a photo. On the bed there was a little and fluffy teddy bunny next to a box of chocolates with a red ribbon wrapping the box. You, slowly, walked closer to take a look of the pictures. All of them were photos of you, and also photos of you and Brian; and each one of the photos had something written, like short poems. What the hell was this? You grabbed the teddy bunny, looked at it and threw it on the bed again; sighing heavily and clenching your jaw. Then you ran a hand over your face. Seriously, what was this? Some sort of cheesy way to apologize or some shit like that? You were kind of tired of his attitude of thinking that with something nice or surprising like this he could be forgiven for everything and you could forget everything. You were tired of these stupid things he used to do, you wanted him to face and deal with his mistakes, not to waste his time preparing sappy surprises. You heard the door opening, yet you were giving the door your back and you weren't planning to turn around. Of course you knew it was Brian.

"Sunny, where were you?" He asked worried and you bit your lips. You should keep your cool. He shouldn't screw it.

"Out." You responded curtly.

"I've been calling you since you left, I was worried." He added.

"Awful thing, isn't it? I mean, when you call someone and they never pick up your calls and don't even text you back." You commented with a sarcastic and bitter chuckle. You could notice his pained face behind you, yet you didn't turn around. "What is this all?" You requested severely, pointing the whole room.

"I wanted to give you a personal Christmas gift, and well, this is my gift to you." He answered and you bit strongly your lips, clenched your jaw, raised an eyebrow and nodded. "I know you like colorful things, so I came up with this idea of balloons... And each balloon has a photo of us, and in each one of the photos I wrote some things, as a way to remember all we experienced together since we became friends. I thought it was like, you know, a nice way to remember everything and like a way to thank you for all this time we spent together so far." He explained and his voice sounded enthusiastic.

He now walked towards you, but to take one balloon and show you what he was explaining. When you glanced at him furtively, you noticed he was smiling brightly. Sure, he did forget everything that happened earlier and everything that happened the last weeks. You didn't look at the balloon and he noticed you ignored it, so his smile vanished; he cleared his throat, looked down for few seconds and looked up, again with that bright smile.

"And, I bought that box of chocolates because I know you are crazy for chocolates. The seller told me it contains a wide variety of artisan chocolates. Besides, it's amazing to eat chocolates when it's cold, isn't it?" He asked joyfully.

"Mm-hmm." You hissed, clenching your teeth and avoiding his gaze. Nonetheless, you noticed he frowned slightly and his eyes denoted a hint of sadness.

"Yeah, and I also got you this teddy bunny; I thought it was cute and I thought you'd like it. I know you like stuffed animals; I remember you had one similar when you lived in San Francisco. I'd have got you a bigger one, but it'd be kind of difficult to take it to Ann Arbor, don't you think?" He chuckled softly and you rolled your eyes.

"Hmph." You sputtered, crossing your arms over your chest.

"Don't you like the bunny? I can change it for a bear or a dog." He offered and you puffed.

"I just think teddies are stupid. It's not like I'm a little girl, right?" You asked harshly and contemptuously. You noticed how Brian's grin faded away again and parted his lips.

"Sure... No, you... You're not a little girl. I just thought... Never mind." He stammered and you just sighed slowly and looked away, biting at the inside of your cheeks. "I have another present for you." He mentioned and you just leered at him.

He was grinning shyly, handing you a gift enveloped in Santa wrapping paper with a red ribbon and a white little card which spelled 'Merry Christmas, Sunny. Thank you for everything you gave me and thank you for being my best friend. I love you. Yours, Brian'. You weren't sure about receiving it; however, after Brian insisted by extending his arm to hand you the gift, you took it. When you grabbed the gift, Brian placed a hand on your arm and attempted to give you a kiss on the cheek; but you stepped back and frowned.

"Don't touch me." You voiced in a rude way. He gasped and parted his lips, looking at you stunned.

"Sorry." He whispered, now looking down. "Merry Christmas, Sunny." He said kindly, looking into your eyes again, with a half-smile.

You didn't smile back as usual; instead, you opened the gift, hastily and carelessly. You practically tore up the wrapping paper and threw it and the card on the floor as Brian saw how you did so as if it didn't matter to you, then he looked away and sighed. The gift was his book; at least you could know it was his book because it was entitled 'Hiding my heart away', just as the note of Ian whatshisname mentioned, and in the cover, under the title, was spelled 'By Brian T. Clerk'. You looked at it and a grim smirk spread across your face.

"So, this is the famous book." You sneered, laughing bitterly.

"Yes, it is." He responded, either completely clueless of your sarcasm or pretending he was clueless. He walked closer, but not close enough to make you yell at him. He was just observing the book with a faint grin. "I began to write it months ago; I think I started, you know, when my supposed mother appeared again. It was supposed to be a surprise for everyone; but well, evidently my plan didn't work." He began to explain and his short chuckle made you feel absolutely irked. "Thing is Darren and Joey saw me one day writing this novel and they asked and I just told them it was a book I was writing, but I didn't give away more details. And Jen knew about this book because I needed a copy editor as well as a sponsoring editor and I didn't have the money to pay for someone; therefore and in view of the fact that Jen is studying journalism and she has contacts, I talked to her and she agreed helping me publish it. What I never thought was that Darren would mention on the road trip that I was writing a book and that Jen would send my book to Ian McEwan and then make me read the note in front of everybody." He started explaining and you were just trying not to lose your temper and blow a fuss. "Initially, the idea was you to be the first person seeing this book; because you were always the one who insisted me on publishing my books and if it hadn't been because of you, I'd probably have never published this novel. Besides, this entire book was inspired by you. Accordingly, I wanted you to be the first person reading this book. Unfortunately, nothing turned out as expected." Brian said quietly and you were listening intently to him, but you were very serious, thinking about the bullshits he was saying. "It was kind of hard to write this book. You know, I wanted to finish this book by Christmas, so it could be my present to you. And I did not have much time to write, it was complicated between studying for college, attending my courses and working; thus I had to use my little spare time to write. Hence why I've been away lately, not because I didn't want to spend time with you, but because I just wanted to finish this book so that you could have it in your hands this precise day." He explained and you raised an eyebrow and shook your head in disbelief. "All in all, I just hope you like my book; and I just wanna forget Ian McEwan and Jen read the book, and I wanna think you're the first one reading it. This book is dedicated to you, Sunny."

"You know I'm not gonna be the first one reading it. Think whatever you want, that doesn't change the real facts; but think that, so you can feel less remorseful. Whatever, thanks for the book and all that shit, you know." You said coldly, throwing the book on the nightstand in a very careless way.

Brian observed the whole situation in an anguished way, but you disregarded it. This time he would not convince you with his charming and his self-compassion ways as always. No, you were sick of his shit.

"Now, could you just move out? I wanna get some sleep." You announced roughly. He did not move, so you kinda pushed him and lay down in bed. He remained standing and then turned his gaze to you.

"I'd really like to know what's happening to you. Lately you've been acting in a weird way, and I can't tell if the problem is just with me or if it's in general; if I'm the one who's doing something wrong or if there's something else that is saddening or stressing you. The way you're acting, at least around me, it's not... you. If I am the problem, I'd like to know so I can do something about; and if it's about something else, I'd also like to know to help you." Brian said afflicted and you just rolled on your side to give him your back. You really weren't in mood for his piteous speeches. Brian remained silent, apparently waiting for you to say something. But minutes passed and you did not speak. "Sunny, talk to me. I know you're not sleeping, I know you're listening to me right now. Just talk to me." He requested kind of exasperated, but you kept ignoring him. Again, he waited several minutes. "The problem is with me, isn't it? What have I done, Sunny? Why are you treating me this way? You're like... ignoring me all the time. You seem to be mad at me for something. You just... All I do, it seems it annoys you, it seems all I do is, like, nasty for you; as though you feel, like, disgust for me. And you look at me... as if you... I don't know. And you, like, it's like... You know, it's as if you don't wanna be with me, like... Am I annoying? Am I boring? Am I mean? Or is it you're ashamed of me? Did I hurt you? I just don't know what's happening. I'm trying to understand you, but I just... I just can't. Please, tell me what's wrong." He added and he sounded frustrated. You just remained profoundly silent. Could he just shut up? "I'm trying to talk to you, to solve this problem we have; I'm trying to do my best for things between us get better because you're my best friend. And I can see you and I know you're wide awake. Why are you still ignoring me?" He asked, yet this time he whispered and his voice sounded despondent. Again, the silence. "This is hurting me, Sunny. This whole situation is hurting me way too much." He added and his voice cracked. "You're hurting me."

A cold chill ran through your veins and then a feeling of disappointment, fury and abomination washed over your body. You couldn't control it and you didn't even want to feel it, but it just happened. All this time, Brian has been writing a book and he kept it from you; all this time he planned to publish a book and he didn't even tell you. Publishing a book, coming from Brian, was one of the most important matters to him; yet he wasn't even capable of mentioning it. You spent days, weeks, months and a year trying to convince him to publish a book, he always refused, he always said he was not good enough; yet when he made the decision to finally publish one book, he didn't tell you; you, the person who always encouraged him to do so. But he told Jen, a person he didn't know too much. So, not only he hid the fact he published a book, but also, in addition, the first person he gave his book to was Jen, not you, the one who always supported him in that aspect. He wouldn't stop saying you were his best friend, but how come? How was that possible? Best friends are always the first to know private or important events that came to happen to each other; maybe it'd have been different if he'd told this to his father in first place; but no, his father was just as surprised and astonished as you were, he did not know about this either. The only person who knew was Jen. Who was Jen in his life? They weren't even close friends. You were highly disappointed in Brian, best friends your ass. And now look at him, preparing this pathetic surprise for you; because he feels guilty, because he knows he fucked up everything, because he's aware that he is the only responsible for the situation you and him were going through. This stupid surprise, as a way to look like the nice and cute boy, like one guy who cared about you, who really loved you. Bullshit. Everything was bullshit, everything was a lie, everything was pure shit. And he tells you he wanted the book to be a surprise because he wanted you to be the first one reading it; could he make up a better lie? Not even he himself could believe that crap. You hated Brian. You loathed him with every part of your body, your heart and your soul. He disappeared from weeks, he didn't talk to you in weeks, he didn't call, he didn't text you back, he didn't see you in entire weeks; he didn't tell you about his father and the surgery he had to undergo, he didn't tell you about the entire thing of the stupid book, he didn't tell you anything at all. And now, now he was playing that victim role; now he was desperate to see you, now he was desperate to talk to you, now he was desperate to get you back; he was just as 'look at me, the miserable boy who's going through shit and you don't want to talk to, but who doesn't tell you a damn shit of all the crap that is happening; I'm a poor guy'. Piece of shit. That was what he was. A real piece of shit, trying to seem innocent all the time and making you look like the bad girl, the ruthless and heartless bitch. And, to top, he says you're hurting him; well, he hurt you too and so deeply. The person standing in front of you was a detestable person you didn't even know.

"I desperately need you to talk to me. Talk to me, I beg you. Don't be like this." He begged in a very pleading way.

The only thing missing, the straw that broke the camel's back: He trying to blame you for this entire situation. You exploded. You felt anger taking over your whole body, heating you to your very core and igniting a flame so hot within your heart that you almost screamed in agony and anger. Your normally calm and pleasant demeanor slowly changed and your face contorted in an all, consuming anger; your nostrils flaring, your eyes flashing and closing into slits, your mouth quivering. Your hands closed into fists and you experienced tunnel vision, muffled hearing, increased heart rate and hyperventilation. You sat up in bed and you turned to look at Brian. You shot him a withering look so full of wrath and indignation. You could swear your glare was blazing, fired with anger; because you saw Brian looking at you as though he was perplexed and a little bit frightened. You stormed out the bed, stomped the floor, harrumphed, huffed and roared, and walked straight towards him with a stiff and threatening gait; never taking your enraged eyes off him. When you came up to him, you clenched your jaw and you pressed your forefinger into his chest, you were like stabbing forward at him; you almost buried your nail in his chest. Brian widened his eyes, raised his eyebrows and gasped; completely aghast because of your sudden rabid reaction.

"Do you wanna know what's happening, Brian?" You asked crossly, your voice was seething with anger; it sounded so raucous and taut that you didn't even recognize yourself. "Poor little Brian, he's a long-suffering guy." You sneered, your voice dripping sarcasm. He looked straight in your eye, his eyes denoting obfuscation and fright, perhaps a little hurt, gaping in astonishment. "Do you wanna know what I feel for you, Brian? Is that what you wanna know?" You asked riled, your voice sounding high-pitched. You were fuming. He just seemed to be taken aback and speechless, so he just nodded and you clenched your fist and teeth. "So look straight into my eyes, because I want you to see my honesty when I tell you all I feel for you. Look deeply into my eyes, Brian, because this is gonna be the cold hard truth and I won't repeat any single thing of what I'm gonna say. Come on, look into my eyes and pick up your ears." You roared, narrowing your flashing eyes fired with anger, still burying your forefinger in his chest. When he fixed his startled and dreary green eyes on yours, and when you made sure they were looking deeply into yours, you blurted. "I loathe you with all my being." You ranted in a very nasty way.

Brian gasped and flinched; his green eyes manifested profound sorrow, yet his eyes remained fixed on yours. You grasped his sweater and tugged it, almost violently, hostile, without taking your enraged eyes off his. He did not do any abrupt movement, he did nothing to defend himself, he did nothing to stop you; he remained still as though he was weak, as though he was hollow, as though he was faraway; but his eyes looking deeply at yours exposed the opposite: he was downhearted and he was aware of what you were saying.

"I hate everything of you. I hate your face, your body, your voice. I hate your lack of personality, your depressing tendency, your boring talks and stupid and not funny jokes. I hate your lack of manliness, I hate your sentimentalism and your baby girl crying. I hate your submissive, disciplined, and indulgent attitude. I hate your indigent, impoverished and wretched appearance. I hate your stupid, pathetic and cheesy surprises and gifts. I hate your maudlin, mushy and poetic texts you write. I completely hate your whole presence." You raged and blurted in a loathsome way, your voice sounding completely scornful.

Brian gulped, pursed his lips and he finally broke the eye contact, his eyes drifted slightly downward. You could hear his heavy breathing, but this didn't stop you. You were so choleric and nettled that it was clouding your common sense. You weren't even aware of the things you were saying, words were just coming out your mouth and you couldn't control it. Everything was just so blurry.

"I'm ashamed of being with you. You're not my friend, I just feel pity for you. You're just a pathetic loser who fails and fails; you have no worth, you're just like a stone. You make me so sick that I can't even stand seeing you, I wish you could just disappear and get out of my life. Sometimes I wish you were dead and sometimes I wonder why your mother didn't get to perform the abortion." You stormed out, your voice sounding brittle and croaky, your whole body shaking because of the insane wrath, panting because of your agitation, looking penetratingly at Brian, doe-eyed, making you look like a deranged person.

Brian gasped, gaping in disturbance and stupor. He finally looked up and his eyes met yours. That was probably the most heartbreaking and mournful look you've ever seen. You've seen him sad, but those times were nothing compared to now. He seemed just so broken-down. His mouth was quivering, his body was trembling, and he was breathing hard. His green eyes were flooded with tears of grief as his mouth screwed itself around by his left ear, it was perceptible the extraordinary effort he was making to hold back his sadness and sorrow. A single tear slid down from his sorrowful green eyes, followed by another one, until a steady stream of tears flowed its way down his cheek. His thick lashes stuck together in clumps as the tears made wet tracks down his face and dripped from his stubbled, wobbling chin. You huffed and stormed out the bedroom, banging the door behind you. You were so incensed and rabid that it was clouding your vision, it was obfuscating your other emotions, and it was darkening your thinking. Hot tears trickled down your face; not in the sadness, but in anger so strong. You weren't even aware of where you were going, of what you've done, of what you've said. You were feeling dizzy and your body was like wobbling, the cold hit your body all at once. You were feeling that your surroundings were moving even if there was no actual movement; you began to feel as though you were whirling and tilting, a sensation of complete unsteadiness and you also felt ringing in the ears. Then you began to cough and you covered your mouth with one hand, it was a hacking cough you couldn't control and it was hurting your throat. You moved your hand away and you saw the spot of blood again; you wiped the blood on your jeans and you began to panic. When you inhaled and exhaled and got to calm down, you realized you were in the backyard; you didn't even know for how long you've been there. You began to shiver and pant as you covered your mouth and realized the cruel way you treated Brian with no reason. Therefore, you broke down in a thunderstorm of emotion which turned into a seemingly endless flow of tears. That wasn't you; you couldn't be that heartless person. What was happening to you? Why were you acting this way? You were feeling weird, you hated that person you were around Brian. Holy crap. What have you done? You wiped your tears away and you took a deep breath, determined to return to the bedroom, face the consequences of what you've done, and apologize for your irrational and rude demeanor. When you opened the door of the bedroom, you startled. All balloons had been popped and the deflated bits of them were on the floor along with the photos, but the photos were torn up into several pieces. The chocolates and the box were also on the floor, right under the window; it seemed as if the box had been thrown against the window and, consequently, the chocolates scattered on the floor. Subsequently, your gaze fixed on the teddy bunny. It was still on the bed but it had been torn, so the synthetic fiber batting of the teddy was sprawled across the bed. However, what hurt you the most was seeing Brian's book. The pages had been ripped off the book and they were torn up into several small pieces which were scattered throughout the room; even the cover of the book was torn up. Finally you noticed that the sleeping bag, in which Brian was sleeping since you arrived here, wasn't there, as well as his belongings and suitcase. He left. Maybe he went to another room or maybe he left the house. You couldn't bother others, who were sleeping, to ask if Brian was there. With shaky hands and with a lump in throat, you fumbled in your pocket for your phone and dialed his number. It went straight to voicemail. You tried five more times, you got the same. His phone was shut off and probably he wouldn't turn it on. With great heaving sobs and crying in abject misery, you began to pick up the pieces of the photos and the pages of the book. You tried to mend them, carefully putting everything back with Scotch tape; you could attach the photos in the original state, but you could not mend the pages of the book. Then you stuffed the teddy bunny with the synthetic fiber batting and you sewed it as the tears kept dripping into your mouth. You lay down in bed and you fell asleep, hugging the teddy bunny as slow desolate tears of repentance and grief were streaming down already wet cheeks.

---

Next morning I woke up and rolled on my side to snuggle up to February, but I noticed she was wide awake and she was staring blankly at the ceiling, which was weird. I tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and she finally noticed I was awake, yet she kept staring the ceiling; so then I moved closer and pecked the corner of her mouth.

"Morning, beautiful." I voiced sweetly. No reaction. This made me frown in confusion. "Hey, what's the matter, love?" I asked softly.

She kept staring blankly at the ceiling, with that dumbfounded facial expression, as if she was faraway, deep in thought. It was kind of disturbing. I rested my elbow on the mattress to lift my body and be able to look into her eyes. Her blue eyes seemed to be sad and aghast. What?

"Feb, what's wrong?" I asked gently, fondling her cheek with my thumb. She took a time to answer.

"Have you heard Freckles and Brian's dispute last night?" She asked, her voice sounding husky, still staring blankly at the ceiling.

"Yeah, I have." I sighed heavily.

I started remembering the things they said each other; well, actually what Freckles said to Brian. Truth is a chill ran through my body when I heard Freckles talking that way. In the past, I've seen and heard her when mad, but she never said as nasty and hideous things as she said last night. I knew she probably didn't mean what she said and all she said was said because she was out of herself due to the rage, but they were some hurtful words to hear, and more for a guy like Brian, who was going through a hard moment. What made me feel most frightened was when I heard Freckles saying 'I wish you were dead and sometimes I wonder why your mother didn't get to perform the abortion', that pushed the envelope; after that, it was disturbing to hear Brian practically screaming in frustration, hearing how he was throwing things. Yeah, it was a perturbing experience to have heard all of that in the silent house.

"Freckles was really rude and cruel." February voiced in a whisper.

I looked at her again and I noticed how a silent tear was escaping the corner of her eye. I frowned, disconcerted, not quite sure why it affected her so much, yet I kissed her tear away and fondled her cheek.

"Yes, she was cruel; but I'm pretty sure she wasn't aware of what she was saying." I responded gently.

"How could she have told Brian that she wishes him dead and wonders why his mother didn't abort him? How?" She questioned with strangled voice as more tears fell down her cheeks, dripping into her mouth.

"I don't know, Feb; I believe she didn't mean it." I answered softly, wiping her tears away.

"You should never tell someone that, no matter how angry you are!" She exclaimed in grief as her voice cracked. I frowned slightly, there was something... why it affected her so much... she was hiding something.

"Feb, is there something you haven't told me?" I asked, trying to sound as smooth as possible. She finally looked at me disturbed, frowning with eyes wide open; then she looked at the ceiling again, wiping her tears away and shaking her head.

"No. It's just that... Brian is my friend and I hate seeing him so down; he's not the same he used to be because there are too many bad things happening to him. And now, his best friend, the person he's in love with, told him all of those outrageous things... It's just so unfair. He doesn't deserve all that is happening to him, he's a good person." She answered and I frowned, but nodded.

She wasn't completely honest; I knew that wasn't the whole truth. Nonetheless, I wrapped my arms around her, made her rest her head on my chest and began to stroke her hair in a reassuring way. I stayed silent for a while, just doing this, until I kissed the top of her head.

"I know it's unfair. But I believe everything, eventually, will get better for him. And I'm sure Freckles will apologize for her actions and words, so then they'll be fine again. Come on, you shouldn't be sad; everything will return to normal and he'll be the person he used to be." I said gently, still stroking her hair.

"I hope so." She whispered with a long sigh.

"Let's go have breakfast and clear our minds, shall we? It's Christmas, after all, and this should be a nice day, despite everything. We could go for a walk later, what do you say?" I asked with a soft grin, trying to cheer her up.

"Yes, okay." She replied with a faint smile and then pecked my lips.

When February and I entered the dining room, Jen, Jack, Chuck, Lucy, Joey and Mandy were already there, having breakfast in complete silence. It seemed it was a fraught situation, all of them were serious and thoughtful and some of them had tired eyes and dark circles. We joined them with a coffee for each, also in silence.

"You guys, have you also heard last night's dispute between Brian and Freckles?" Chuck suddenly asked, looking at me and February. Oh no, really?

"Yeah. Have you?" I asked while sipping my coffee.

"All of us have heard it." Joey responded. Alright, that wasn't good.

"It was pretty... bad." Jack commented, raising an eyebrow while eating a bagel.

"Where are they now? And where's George?" February asked intrigued.

"The stupid of my sister is still sleeping as if nothing happened." Mandy answered harshly, as though she was angry with her sister.

"Baby, we talked about it already." Joey pointed out, in a quiet way.

"I don't care if it was because she was angry and didn't know what she was saying. She's still a fucking idiot." Mandy snorted.

"Mandy, stop it." Joey requested gently, squeezing Mandy's shoulder. "And you're not gonna talk to her about this. We already agreed it was something between your sister and Brian, okay?"

"Yeah, whatever." Mandy huffed, frowned and sipped her coffee.

"So... What about George and Brian? Where are they?" February repeated.

"Brian left the house yesterday night and his dad is with him right now." Lucy answered and I looked down and I bit my lips.

"Yes, he left the house because my idiot sister..." Mandy began to complain annoyed.

"Mandy..." Joey snapped.

"How do you know that?" February asked intrigued, looking at Lucy.

"Brian left a note." Jen replied while looking at her coffee mug.

"What did it say?" February asked.

"The note was actually for his dad, but I got to read it. It said he was leaving the house for personal reasons and he'll stay in a hotel room. He requested his dad to meet him at Times Square at 9 am. Nothing more, nothing less, just that." Jen responded with a sigh then sipped her coffee.

"Has anyone tried calling him?" I asked in general.

"Yes, his phone is off." Mandy answered moody.

"And do you know in which hotel he's staying?" I asked.

"No, the note didn't mention any address." Jen replied. "I guess we'll have to wait for George to arrive to tell us how Brian's doing."

"Of course he feels like shit, my stupid sister crossed the line." Mandy commented upset.

"Can we talk about something else, please?" Joey requested, glancing at Mandy.

"Yeah, I suggest going out so we all can think about something else. Besides, you gotta know the best places in NYC." Chuck proposed and all of us nodded in agreement. "After breakfast, all of us, I repeat, all of us with no exception are going out. Okay?" He asked and, again, everybody nodded.

Fortunately after that we started talking about other things that didn't imply Brian or Freckles, we kinda started planning what to do in the day. Well, this lasted until Freckles popped into the dining room. All of us looked abruptly at her direction, in complete silence. I felt kinda sad when I saw her appearance. Yeah, I knew what she said was cruel, I knew I shouldn't justify her actions and words, and I knew I probably shouldn't defend her; but I knew her, so I knew she wasn't cruel, she didn't mean what she said, she was a lovely person; so it made me feel sad the fact that everybody was looking at her as though she was some kind of bitch, as though she was not welcome, even her own sister was looking at her that way. Jen was the only one who seemed to be thinking the same than me; and perhaps Joey and Chuck too, but just a little. Freckles was still wearing the same clothes she wore last night, she didn't have make-up on as usual, and her face was haggard: pale tear-stained cheeks, dark circles, bleary eyed and puffy and dark unhappy eyes. She forced a faint half-smile.

"Good morning." She stated and her voice kinda echoed in the silent room.

She traced her gaze to each of us. When she sighed and looked down in that despondent way, I knew she wasn't looking at us, she was just looking for someone and that someone was Brian. No one answered and she felt kind of uncomfortable.

"Good morning, Freckles." Jen suddenly greeted amiably, with a kind grin. "Do you want a coffee?" She asked politely and Freckles grinned faintly and nodded. "I'll make you one."

Jen stood up and headed to the kitchen. Freckles, in the meantime, walked slowly to the table and she sat on one empty chair, just between February and Jack. As soon as Freckles sat with her head pointing downwards, February looked at her kind of contemptuously and then she stood up, clenching her jaw.

"I lost my appetite. Excuse me." February stated coldly.

She walked out the dining room as Freckles followed her with her distressed gaze. I didn't follow February, what she did was kind of rude and I didn't want to do the same. Then I saw how Jack also stood up and leered at Freckles in a scornful way, asshole. Freckles glanced at him furtively, still distressed.

"I also lost my appetite. Enjoy the breakfast, everybody." He announced as coldly as February, and then he left the room.

"Excuse me; I'll take a shower so we can hang out later." Lucy said with a faint smile.

"Wait, darling, I'll get ready too." Chuck said while looking at Lucy.

Then both of them left the room. Oh no, no fuck, you were kidding me. They couldn't be doing that, it was rude and it was obvious they all were leaving because Freckles arrived. Yes, Freckles made a mistake, but come on, she was a good person. I glanced at Freckles and I noticed she was looking at her lap with a sorrowful facial expression, teary-eyed; she realized the real reason why everybody left. She was on the verge of blubbering; yet she took a deep breath and then breathed out and this made her control her emotions. Man, I felt bad for her.

"You are a bitch." Mandy suddenly voiced in a very harsh way, her voice sounding raucous.

She was looking at Freckles in a very furious and disgruntled way and Freckles gasped and looked at her sister in astonishment, her eyes saddening. Joey shot Mandy a warning look and I just remained observing them in a silent way. No, please.

"Do you wanna know why everybody wants to leave?" Mandy asked roughly. I just looked away and bit my lips. "Because no one wants to be at the table with a bitch like you." She finished the sentence with stentorian voice.

"Baby, stop." Joey whispered.

"Look at me, you bitch." Mandy demanded severely, totally ignoring Joey's comment. I saw Freckles looked at her sister through her eyelashes. "How you dare to treat Brian that way?" She asked obnoxiously as Freckles just bit her lips. "And if you're wondering; yeah, all of us heard the terrible things you told him last night." Freckles looked down in a remorseful way. "How could you? How could you say all of that?" Mandy asked in disbelief, seemingly loathing her own sister. Freckles took a long time to answer, so that gave rise to an abysmal silence.

"I was angry. I wasn't aware of what I was saying." Freckles answered in sotto voce, her voice sounding guilty and ashamed.

"Is that your excuse for all you said? Is that your justification for saying that Brian should be dead and his mother should have aborted him? Really? Really? What kind of heartless bitch are you?" Mandy asked madly, completely getting so bent out of shape. Freckles' eyes teared up and a silent and slow tear raced down her cheek as her mouth began to quiver.

"Mandy." Joey voiced firmly.

"It's not a justification. I'm not trying to justify the things I said; I'm not trying to exempt myself for all I did. I'm aware what I said was beyond spiteful, and I'm aware those hideous words came out my mouth, I'm aware I am responsible for all of that; I just didn't know what I was saying and doing because I was steamed up, I flipped out, and it clouded my commonsense." Freckles responded with choked and wobbly voice, dissolved into a puddle of tears.

I saw how Joey looked down and bit his lips and how Mandy kept staring at her sister in a fierce way. I just looked at Freckles sadly as I pursed my lips; I could understand her, maybe. In the meantime, Jen had appeared in the dining room and she was standing still, with the coffee mug for Freckles, just observing the whole situation, half distressed and half frightened.

"Do you think that's a enough reason for having said Brian's mother should have aborted him? Do you have any idea how hurtful it's for someone to hear such a thing? Do you have any idea how humiliating and wounding it's for someone to hear all you said?" Mandy asked slowly and provocatively, narrowing her eyes. "But wait! You were angry, so that you should be forgiven for tearing apart his heart! You should totally be forgiven for tearing him to pieces and for devastating his life so deep causing him fall apart and feel so hollow and heartbroken to even carry on." She snarked in a snide and pejorative way. Freckles looked deeply into her sister's eyes, agape and profoundly hurt. "Yes, because you'll be forgiven, little sister. Of course you'll be forgiven, because he always forgives you every damn thing, even when you don't deserve it. So you just don't care, you just stab his heart and break it into million pieces, because you know he'll try to pick up the pieces and put them together to always be there to forgive you; because you're a damn bitch who takes advantage of his devoted and unconditional love for you." Mandy said rabidly with her eyes flashing in anger. I gasped and dropped my jaw when I heard her saying all of those tough words.

"Mandy, stop." Joey demanded, this time very firm and resolute.

I glanced at Freckles and noticed she was agape, narrowing her eyes and looking at her sister in an incredulous and perplexed way. Not only was Freckles hurt, she was also a bit upset now. She looked down, pursed her lips strongly, clenched her jaw and harrumphed. Then she stood up and looked severely into her sister's eyes.

"I won't talk to you this way, Amanda." Freckles blurted.

She turned around and began to head to her bedroom, but Mandy also stood up and walked straight towards her sister with a firm gait. Mandy took Freckles' elbow and forced her turn around in a very fierce way as Freckles let out her arm in a very harsh and furious way. Joey, Jen and I observed this situation in shock, unable to do something to step in between them and prevent any kind of violent situation.

"You will not get away with this! You'll stay and face everything! Inasmuch as Brian will forgive you uncritically, mercifully and unquestionably without demanding reasons; I'll be the one demanding you the reasons why you treated him like crap and mercilessly." Mandy ordered loudly.

"I said I won't talk like this!" Freckles answered back, her voice sounding hoarse. By this time Chuck, Lucy, February and Jack appeared to see what this fuss was about.

"How you dare?" Mandy questioned angry, ignoring Freckles' answer. "How could you have said he lacks manliness and he cries like a baby girl? How could you have said he has depressing tendency? Goddammit, you know the shit he's going through! His father, his only family, is dying! Understand that! His father, inevitably, will die in a matter of weeks or months! How do you expect him not to feel down and cry? How? Do you have any idea how much that hurts? Do you even care? Have you even supported and comforted him? I don't think so!" Mandy yelled in complete wrath, laughing bitterly, looking at her sister in disbelief, shaking her head.

"You have no idea if I ever did those things, so you better stay the fuck out, Amanda!" Freckles yelled back, also furious, now looking at Mandy in threating way. Nonetheless, Mandy totally ignored her sister's comment.

"He needs you because you're the only person he trusts the enough to talk to about his pain of knowing his dad will soon pass away, he needs you to comfort him, he needs you to hug him and tell him everything will be alright, he needs you to tell him you'll stand by him to give him all the support he will need to endure his dad's death, he needs you to tell him you love him so that he'll know he has someone to lean on when his dad passes away; yet you not only ignore and rebuff him when he tries to get close to you and find all the comfort he needs, but you also tell him you hate his depressing tendency, that he's crybaby and that you feel pity for him?" Mandy asked in disbelief and displeased, but also a bit disappointed and distressed. All of us just looked down and bit our lips, feeling very uncomfortable; perhaps because we also noticed what Mandy was saying and we agreed with her deep down. "And let me talk about depressing tendencies... If you cannot think about others, think about yourself. Think about last year, when you were completely sunk in depression!"

"Break it up, you're running off at the mouth! Don't you dare to talk about it and less in this place and in this way! So shut up, Amanda!" Freckles demanded and remonstrated, her voice sounding taut and wheezy.

Her glare was blazing, fired with anger, as she was threateningly pointing her sister with her forefinger. Jesus, I've never seen Freckles this mad, she didn't even look like herself, she seemed to be another person. It was kind of scary. This was becoming a nasty face-off and it was worrying; nevertheless, none of us dared to interfere because it seemed the sisters were out of themselves; besides, all of us were just too puzzled to do something. We all were still, observing the whole situation and listening to every single word they were saying in complete consternation. Also, I was feeling kind of guilty or edgy because I knew that depression Freckles felt last year was because of that night I left her in the hotel room.

"Who's the person who always left everything he was doing to pick up your calls and listen to you when you needed to talk, no matter the hour? Brian. Who's the person who hugged you when you needed comfort? Who's the person who constantly told you that you were worth when you loathed yourself? Who's the person who did even the impossible to make you happy when all you could do was to weep? Who's the person who did things you wanted but he didn't feel comfortable with, for the sole purpose of cheering you up and giving you a reason to smile? Brian." Mandy began to blurt kind of provocative questions, her voice sounding brittle, her eyes piercing her sister's eyes.

Those were questions to make Freckles feel bad, I was sure of it; those were questions to point out the clear unfairness of this complete situation in which Brian used to do all the things Freckles didn't do and apparently didn't appreciate. I glanced at Freckles and noticed she was looking down and puffing, her contorted in anger face changed to a remorseful and distressed face as her eyes turned glossy caused for the tears that were forming in the corner of her eyes. I bit my lips strongly and looked down like everybody else, as a fraught atmosphere engulfed all of us.

"Who's the person who gave you a shoulder to cry on when your pain was too much to endure? Who's the person who stood by you, no matter what, when you were feeling entirely lonely? Who's the person who told you I love you when you were feeling absolutely unloved? Brian." Mandy pointed out, this time her voice sounding choked and her eyes full of tears, staring incredulously at her sister. If Mandy was about to cry only could evidence the severity of this situation, considering Mandy never cried. "Who's the person who, even when busy in college, took a flight to LA to comfort you when you were feeling completely devastated? Who's the person who told you everything will be alright when your entire world was falling apart? Brian." Mandy kept saying as some tears of sadness but also of anger began to roll down her cheeks.

By that time Freckles was already shedding tears from her nearly closed and wrinkled eyes, accompanied with great heaving sobs. It was distressing seeing her crying that way; I just wished Mandy could stop and I think everybody wanted the same. Then Mandy looked down, bit her lower lip, panted and bellowed in frustration, letting out the rage she was feeling. She looked up again, narrowed her eyes and her gaze fixed on Freckles, it was a stricken look.

"I think in those times you didn't hate his submissive and indulgent attitude, you didn't hate his talks and jokes, you didn't hate his cheesy surprises, you didn't hate his maudlin and poetic texts, you didn't hate his impoverished appearance, and you didn't hate everything of him as you do now. I think in those times you weren't ashamed of being with him." Mandy reprimanded and accused almost in a wicked way, still narrowing her eyes and shaking her head in disgust as she stepped closer to Freckles.

"Mandy, come back." Joey voiced very serious.

"I think this should stop..." Jen suggested, fearfully.

"Yes, it was enough." I stated, my voice sounding orotund and echoing in the room.

Nonetheless, all the comments were disregarded. Mandy was just few inches away from her sister and she remained looking at her in that scornful way. She was being hard on Freckles. It was evident Mandy was harboring a grudge since a long time ago, a grudge she was now releasing. While maybe it was true what she was saying to Freckles, there was no need to say it all in that way in front of all of us; she wanted us to listen to her so that we could see that side of Freckles. I was still thinking Freckles was a good person and whatever she said and did was just because she was clouded and not because she was a cruel person; but probably the rest didn't think the same now. Freckles was covering her face and my heart went out when I saw her crying heartbreakingly. I knew she was feeling like crap, I knew she was remorseful and repentant, I knew she wanted this to stop. Yet Mandy narrowed her eyes and forced her sister to uncover her face to look deeply into her eyes. Mandy looked completely scary; I knew she was about to say something even worse than what she already said.

"And also let me ask you… Who's the only person in world who risked his own life only to stop you when you attempted to commit suicide? Brian! Do I have to remind you how the bullet penetrated his stomach when he moved the gun that you were pointing to your temple?" Mandy asked painfully slowly and I froze in shock. All of us looked at them aghast, with our eyes wide open as Freckles let out a heart wrenching wail that was followed by a series of blatant tears. "If it weren't thanks to him, you wouldn't be alive by now! And although he has done all this for you, you say he has depressing tendency, he has no worth and you question why his mother didn't abort him and why he's not dead." Mandy yelled in anger.

A very intense chill ran through my veins as I flinched and my body began to tremble when Mandy spat all that out. I was horrified and thunderstruck, feeling everything blurry and sensing how my heart pounded. Freckles attempted to commit suicide? I was looking at her gaping, my eyes turning glossy with no reason and my mouth quivering. Freckles was tear-stained, distraught, sniffling, crying in abject misery and shoulders shaking with grief; she broke down, experiencing some extreme emotional outbursts. Mandy went too far.

"What kind of abhorrent and fiend bitch are you? Because I am a bitch, but in a joking and sarcastic way, but you're cruel and wicked; I don't even recognize the person you are now; you weren't like this and I hate the person you became. You're so lucky that a person like Brian loves you the way he does… And don't worry, he'll forgive you even if you tore him apart, he always does." Mandy said nastily and this time nobody agreed with her, perhaps because we all knew that she crossed the line with all she said.

"I am so regretful! That's not me!" Freckles tried to articulate with her strangled voice, face held in hands.

I wanted to run to her and pull her into a tight and comforting hug; seeing her like that was breaking me. However, I didn't move because I was taken aback. Freckles, all of a sudden, began to wail and cough. It seemed the coughing was choking her because her face began to turn red; nevertheless, nobody moved close to her. After a while of constant coughing, Freckles uncovered her face and looked at her hands. I also saw her hands and I frowned in consternation and concern. There was blood in her hands. I shifted my gaze from her hands to her face; she was now pale and her eyes seemed to be lost. I saw how her eyes darkened as she began to quiver. I saw how she breathed out very weakly and how her eyes shut before she fell sharply on the floor and remained completely motionless, with no signs of breathing.