Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy, Doctor Who, or Torchwood.
A/N: Halloween is coming up, here's a little treat. Hope you all enjoy…cheers.

"It's a beach!"

Buffy scrunched her toes up in the warm, white sand. She couldn't help the little moan that slipped out.

The Doctor chuckled and toed the sand with his chucks, "Well, yeah, I suppose it is."

Buffy bit her lip to keep from smiling, "Jack told me, warned me, but, oh, I guess seeing it is…oh, you must think I'm a complete dork now!"

"No, no. It's fine."

The Doctor watched as she made swirling patterns in the sand with her toes. The smile was in her eyes, an entirely different sparkle than just half an hour before. For someone so serious and pained, at this moment, Buffy looked peaceful and happy.

Even with a slayer's balance, Buffy tumbled onto the sand when it slipped from beneath her as the TARDIS shook. Beside her, the Doctor had collapsed. Twitching her toes, Buffy rolled onto her stomach and rested her chin on the Doctor's tummy.

"Earthquake," She asked almost eagerly.

"Landing," he responded happily.

Buffy's eyes narrowed, "Wait a minute, if I'm here, and you're here, and Jack's unconscious—who's driving this ship?"

He chuckled enthusiastically, the vibrations thrummed against Buffy's bared throat inducing her own laughter.

"So, ready to find out where we landed?"

"Yes! But first I have a very important question, its life and death."

The Doctor frowned at her seriousness, "What?"

"Can we come back here? I want to make a sand castle! Ooh, and I want to bury Jack up to his neck in sand, wanna help," the smile was back and the Doctor couldn't help but nod senselessly.

"I can't believe he's still passed out," Buffy gazed at Jack, "Maybe I hit him too hard."

The Doctor's head tipped from side to side, his mouth pulled into a pout, his eyebrows raised as in synchronicity with his shoulders, the epitome of a Gallic shrug.

"I don't know, he should be able to take it, shouldn't he?"

Buffy returned the shrug only to have him chuckle at her actions.

"Don't suppose the TARDIS carries post-its or permanent markers?"

The devilish smile was infectious to say the least.

"Hang on," the Doctor mumbled as he fished inside his coat pocket, "Ah-ha! Permanent marker."

If Buffy was blind, she would have been able to hear the smile in his voice. She liked that about people, it told her a lot about who he was. Passionate, unrestrained, free. Jack controlled himself a bit better, she hated it at times, and sometimes Jack tried too hard to be happy she hated that just as much.

Instead of ruminating on her life, Buffy accepted the green sharpie as she straddled Jack's waist. Her neck tingled as the Doctor stood behind her, looking over her shoulder. Clicking her tongue in disappointment at Jack for letting down his shields, Buffy ripped Jack's button-up blue shirt open and tore his white t-shirt up the center. Brushing soft fingers against warm, hard flesh, the slayer leaned forward, if Jack were conscious, he would be having the time of his life, but as he wasn't, Buffy was having the time of hers. Uncapping the marker, Buffy pressed it to Jack's picturesque chest. It took a few moments to scrawl out the words and a few more to dot the 'I's viciously and draw a rather detailed smiley face on his tummy, taking advantage of his belly button.

Jack—

Gone adventuring with the Doctor, we'll be back later. Try not to do anything stupid.

—Buffy

Buffy smiled and handed the marker back to the Doctor, "So the TARDIS has—"

"Nearly everything I could ever need," he finished her question.

A glittering fire slipped into her normally stoic eyes, "Handcuffs?"

Face contorted in concentration the Doctor thought for a few seconds before a similar fire entered his eyes, "Yes. Actually, I think I do have a pair."

"Excellent," Buffy breathed.

The Doctor smiled as he rummaged in a box beneath the console. At last righting himself, a pair of handcuffs dangling from his middle finger, the Doctor found his newest companion dragging Jack across the grating into a corner.

"Alright, now, if you just cuff him behind his back to that little pole thing, we'll be ready to go."

Again the Doctor shrugged before following her instructions to lock Jack up. To say it didn't give him some sick satisfaction to be chaining something that felt so wrong, would be a mistake. Then, she felt wrong too. Something about her made his stomach twist and warm unnaturally.

"It's kind of fitting, I mean handcuffing a guy in a Police Box? Tell me that's not funny," it was funny.

That's how they left Jack. Shirts open, message on his bared chest, hands firmly secured to discourage any…mischief Jack might feel obligated to commit while left unattended.

Grasping the Doctor's extended hand Buffy ignored his motion for her to do the honors of opening the TARDIS door. Instead Buffy nudged the Doctor into doing it. She had a funny feeling that he had been playing the very same role for a very long time only his partner ever changed, the dance remained the same. Buffy, being who she was, liked to alter normality wherever she was.

So it was the Doctor who led the way on their first adventure together. He took the first step into the long, crisp, electric blue grass. And by long, Buffy, having lived in suburbia her entire childhood, was pleasantly surprised to find waist high blades reminiscent of Africa or even the untamed wilds of Scotland.

It was a sea of blue, and Buffy of course had the inane thought that if the land was blue, then was the ocean green. Frivolity, she'd missed it.

"Blue grass, huh, I wonder if they like bluegrass music?"

If any of the Doctor's former companions had said that he might have scoffed or laughed in placating manner. But the way she said it, rather like she knew it was entirely ridiculous but the idea was humorous enough for the moment.

The Doctor hadn't met anyone like that since the war. Instead of being a reminder of failure once again, The Last of the Time Lord's found it refreshing.

"It would be rather fitting it they did," he responded without the false candor of the past.

"Yeah—does it seem…I don't know, too quiet," Buffy wondered aloud.

The Doctor frowned good naturedly before inhaling deeply, "Let's go find out."

They walked through the tall grass in silence for a while before a town appeared on the horizon. Buffy giggled softly and turned her head to the side to hide her obvious good humor.

"What," the Doctor asked not liking being kept out of the joke.

"I was just thinking," Buffy giggled again before making eye contact with her companion, "With Jack's luck, this'll be the planet where clothes are a sin and everyone goes bare! He'd kick himself right out of the TARDIS and into deep space for missing that."

"That does sound like Jack, there actually is a planet like that though. Visited a few decades back, fabulous time excellent bartenders," he recalled.

There was silence as they trotted down the last hill and into the town. It was abandoned to all appearances. Papers were strewn across the ground, old newspapers in a language Buffy could read after a moment.

"Jack mentioned the TARDIS translated for you, is that how I can I read this," she showed the Doctor the page.

"Yes…this isn't right," he scowled.

Buffy quirked her head in a question, "It shows the power usage for the planet. Most don't bother publishing, this must be one of the early 'green' planets. Look at that stage, its equivalent to April. The power spike is ridiculous compared to the cold and the hot extreme stages during the year."

"You think that has something to do with everybody hiding inside on such a beautiful day," Buffy asked the expert.

"I wouldn't say it's not. Come on, let's go find some shops see if we can glean anything useful," the Doctor grabbed her hand and started to pull her along at a quick pace.

The shop bell tinkled loudly in silence. Buffy glanced up at the bell above the door and frowned before she heard a very familiar noise. It was the two tonal noise of a shotgun being cocked.

The Doctor pulled her a little closer, "We don't mean any harm."

A plump human-like woman holding a shotgun rose from behind the counter of the canteen. Behind her were two small children, both boys. Buffy's muscles tensed against her will. They were scared.

After a long moment the woman lowered the gun but didn't put it away, "You're not from around here."

"Tourists," the Doctor volunteered cheerfully, his smile back.

"Clearly," she snorted. "Well, sit down. Don't get many visitors these days. None in fact. Where you from?"

"Oh, around," the Doctor generalized as he took a seat in a dusty booth, Buffy settling across from him.

The woman didn't seem particularly eased by his answer. Buffy smiled comfortingly, "We like to travel. Don't really stay in one place too long. There's too much to see to sit still."

That put the woman at ease and she chuckled, "That type, eh? Reckon my husband would have been much the same if he hadn't had these two rascals to provide for."

The Doctor was still stuck to one part of the conversation, "No visitors? Why not?"

The woman sighed but stiffened her posture at the same time, "We're an abandoned planet. In the first few days of the…everyone who could fled. No contact with the outside world, we don't even go outside anymore."

The children scrabbled around on the floor before popping up on the bench beside Buffy. The woman scowled and shook her head at her children.

"Those are my boys, Alne and Xasto, I'm Merja. Now, can I get you something to eat?"

The Doctor nodded happily, "We'd love something, surprise us. Oh, and I'm the Doctor, and this is Buffy."

"Well, Doctor, Buffy, welcome to our home."

Buffy smiled before going back to playing what the Doctor could only guess was paddy-cakes with the boys while their mother hurried into a back room.

The Doctor leaned over the table, "Something's not right here."

Buffy rolled her eyes, "Really, what tipped you off?"

Alne who had settled himself quite happily on Buffy's lap looked up at her, eyes wide, "It's the metal-men," he whispered.

Her thin arms twined around the small child who was nearly petrified, "They can't get you. I'll tell you secret, you know all those things that go bump in the night?" The boy nodded hesitantly, the Doctor could only watch, "Well I'm what they're scared of. I'll protect you."

The Doctor's smile had melted away and pure curiosity had replaced it. She seemed so sincere when she said those words. Of course he didn't have much time to ponder what it meant because a small timer buzzed somewhere in the diner.

Merja dashed back into the room frantically, "Everyone in the back, there's no time! Oh dear. Come on!"

The two boys rushed past their mother and into the backroom. Buffy and the Doctor stood before Buffy pushed the Doctor towards the room as well.

"Go, I want to see something," Before he or Merja could argue Buffy was out the front door.

If it was possible, and Buffy wasn't quite sure if it was, the silence of the town had gotten even worse. It was almost as if even the ambient noise had disappeared in fear. Shutting her eyes to everything the slayer inhaled deeply pulling her surroundings in. Marching. It was clear as day and getting louder. She'd heard it before. With Jack. And at Torchwood London. Opening her eyes she saw them coming down the lane. Metal-men, Cybermen. They marched towards her. She froze, slowing her breathing to bare minimum to keep her blood flowing.

They marched right on past her, her skin brushing cold metal. They didn't see her, or they could and they didn't care. This wasn't typical behavior.

"It's a holding pattern," she whispered in horror as the last of the troupe brushed past her.

Turning she watched them retreat. They were patrolling. She must have stood there for ages, eyes disbelieving, and lips slightly parted, before the Doctor stood before her fingers tugging at the skin beneath her eyes…checking pupil dilation she belatedly realized.

Her hands rose to brush his away, "I'm fine."

He was staring at her again, "You don't look fine. In fact, you look like you've seen a ghost. Scared me half to death, the boys too."

"Not a ghost," she shook her head before finally focusing on the Doctor's face and not where the Cybermen had been.

"The metal-men," Merja whimpered from the doorway.

"Yes," Buffy agreed.

"How are you alive then? They've killed everyone in their way," Merja cried.

"I wasn't in their way, I was passive," Buffy mulled the explanation over aloud. "They're Cybermen, Doctor."

"That's not possible," his voice was more forceful than he intended it to be, but it wasn't possible.

"Why not?"

"I destroyed the controller! They should have gone inactive."

Buffy shook her head, "They could have been here for years undetected, inactive. They're not even active now, Doctor! They're using a holding pattern. I stood still and they walked past me, touched me but didn't register me."

"You've seen Cybermen before," the Doctor questioned curiously.

"A few times more recently, Torchwood London. Battle of Canary Wharf. I was in town, overrode the security measures and went in. I was making my way to the top when you shut it all down."

"Ah," Buffy kept her grimace to herself. She knew exactly why the Doctor had reacted that way, Rose.

Buffy glanced at the shop window, both boys and their mother were watching them closely, "We should go inside, make a plan. Plus, it's lunchtime here and I'm hungry."

Snorting softly the Doctor nodded and followed her back inside, "Do you always think with your stomach?"

Buffy chuckled brightly, "Hey, I could be Jack and thinking with other parts of my anatomy."

It was a resounding no, she didn't actually need food, she craved it sure, it sustained her at times. But she could do without it, but right now wasn't the time to cause more panic.

So the Doctor and Buffy sat together at the booth. They laughed and exchanged stories of Jack's antics. They discussed favorites and hatreds. They pretended that the good guys were always stalwart and true, the bad guys were easily distinguished by their pointy horns or black hats, and they always defeated them and saved the day. No one ever died, and everybody lived happily ever after.

There was no talk of death, destruction, or chaos. There were no tears.

Staring down at her plate in fascination Buffy made a questioning sound at the back of her throat, "Shrimp."

Merja grinned at her handiwork in the kitchen, "It's our main source of nutrients," she intoned before heading back to the kitchen.

Buffy's eyes widened as she stared at the Doctor, "Huhm, I've ended up on the shrimp world."

"Shrimp world," the Doctor asked, eyebrow shooting upwards.

"My friend from a very long time ago used to tell me that there are billions of planets and dimensions, and if you fell through a crack, you could land anywhere, troll land, or the land of perpetual Wednesday, or the crazy melty land...or, you know, the world without shrimp or with. It seems we landed in Shrimp Land."

"Perpetual Wednesday that could be fun." A frown etched it's way over the Doctor's face, "Unless Wednesday is pear pie day. Ugh," he shuddered.

"I see what you mean, Crazy Melty Land could be fun…except no ice cream," Buffy pouted.

The Doctor nodded his agreement of the badness that would be, "But Shrimp Land. I mean, it has got its draws, but every day."

Buffy reached across the table, hand extended, "Let's make a pact. We solve this 'C' issue and we get the hell off this planet and back to Non-Shrimp Land."

He nodded hurriedly and shook the proffered hand, "Deal. So, base of operations?"

"Factory from what I saw them go into, I'd say this is where it all started. Weapons?"

A screwdriver was set in front of her half empty shrimp platter, "Sonic Screwdriver."

Buffy smiled but quirked her own eyebrow and lay a dagger down before him, "Gold dagger."

"Can you get in close enough to use it?"

"Yeah, can you?"

"I think I can manage," he retorted leaning closer.

"Good," Buffy smirked, "I got your six."

"Good, how are we going to do this?"

Buffy shrugged before palming the dagger, "I'm guessing that they're in a holding pattern because they're waiting for orders that are never going to come. If we can get into the wiring we might be able to self destruct them."

"Any good with computers?" The Doctor asked eagerly.

"Fair," Buffy responded as she rose and stretched, "My best friend in high school was a pretty good hacker. Picked a few things up."

"Know how to hot-wire a car," he asked completely straight-faced.

"Yes, why," the slayer asked as the pair bid Merja and the boys goodbye and started on their way.

"I don't want to have to walk the entire way there," the Doctor whined like a three year old.

Buffy stood stock-still, "Just how much time did you spend with Jack?"

"A bit," he gave a non-answer.

"Brilliant, so what are you in the mood for? Convertible, SUV, sedan?"

"How 'bout that one," the Doctor pointed to a shiny red coupe convertible the picture of child-like glee on his face.

Throwing her hands up in amazement Buffy moaned noisily, "Fine!"

Buffy wobbled unnaturally as she walked away from the car. Apparently the Doctor had taken the deserted roads as pure invitation to drive as crazily as he could and as a result Buffy was having more than a little trouble walking.

Standing in front of the warehouse doors Buffy indicated that the Doctor should try using the fire escapes to get in while she was going to use the more direct route.

Shoddy plan in place Buffy unsheathed her two solid gold daggers and nudged the door open just a bit until she could easily slip inside. There they were, all lined up in a silver display. It reminded the slayer eerily of Adam's dream. Soldiers at the ready, mindless, emotionless—waiting for action--perfect.

Tucking her daggers behind her back as she walked at military attention, wrists crossed, daggers safely hidden. This was the only way she hypothesized she could get an accurate picture of her enemy. They remained immobile during her appraisal. Ten by four formation of Cybermen, the control panel must be beyond the troupe and in the vault.

40 targets and the minute Buffy went onto the offensive their circuits would fizzle into fun-time-action-Cybermen. The gold daggers would cut through their skeletal structure and right into their central lines—killing them instantly. Of course Buffy did have an advantage. If she got fried by their weapons she could just kip-up and move on. If the Doctor got hit on the other hand, well from what Jack had explained she would be in for a rough regeneration at best. Of course, there was the whole issue that the Doctor was less in the loop about Buffy's special 'talent'.

Inhaling deeply the slayer pushed away everything but her objective: kill. She smiled softly when she noted that the second story walkways were being traversed on tiptoe by the Doctor himself. He was perhaps attempting to be more silent in than necessary. But hey, Buffy would treasure this little tiptoeing Secret Agent Man routine for months to come.

Slipping past stationary soldiers, Buffy arranged herself into what she guessed was the center point of the formation. Suicidal was what most would assume upon sight. Unless the attacker couldn't die, then it didn't matter about being surrounded by the enemy.

Buffy waited patiently, she was the distraction in this non-plan. She had to wait until the Doctor was in place. Ready to unlock the vault, find the control, and change the game—that was the plan. Buffy just had to wait until the Doc was down the ladder and standing in front of the lock to strike out.

Inhaling one deep breath, Buffy's arms flashed upwards and out. The gold of her daggers glinted off the silver of the creatures as they sliced through alien metal as easily as they did air. Heads dangled on the flaps of metal that hadn't been severed for a moment before the entire cyberman stiffened and collapsed—dead.

If anyone had been watching the small blonde woman they might have seen the tiniest flash of a predatory grin before she lashed out at the second wave.

The only possible observer was caught between manipulating the locking mechanisms and watching his own back. He didn't have the time or the real inclination to watch what he could only hope was his companion fighting and not dying. As the vault door popped open he couldn't help but hear the laughter bouncing off the cavernous walls—it wasn't the happy laughter of before, it was cold and controlling. He kept his back to the noise as he stepped into the vault. He didn't want to see what he now could safely assume was a massacre behind him.

With their brethren scattered across the battlefield of the less than empty warehouse, the Cybermen got a little smarter. Smarter wasn't the right term, aggressive was. They were holding their fire and advancing—attempting and partially succeeding in trapping the slayer.

"Alright boys, we can do this the easy way, or the hard way," they took a step forward, indifferent to her speech, "Jeeze, a couple hundred years and I still have zero new material."

Wincing mentally as an electric blast grazed her ankle. Her daggers flowed across the room end over end, embedding themselves in the very control center of two Cybermen.

"Looks like this is about to get a little messy, hope your getting something done Doctor," she muttered as she waited for the next attack.

She enjoyed this thrill. Yes, she might be unarmed and unprepared for what was to come, but the worst that could happen was that she visited the Darkness again. At least for a little visit.

Buffy didn't expect the joint attack. She wasn't disappointed in the least, or upset. She was thrilled…well at least until the blast that would have killed an elephant slammed upward into her chest throwing her back. Back into a large, rancid smelling vat, of what Buffy could speculate, were once shrimp. Her stomach revolted but stayed still.

As the slayer struggled to her feet in the soupy matter, a fiery clang shoved her back down. Dunking her head into the mess again, the slayer shot up more quickly this time and gasped.

"I am going to kill him," she snarled as she hauled herself up and out of the vat.

Her daggers were melted all to hell but the job was done. Self-destruct, what kind of moron programs that into a soldier—well Buffy assumed the same type of villain who outlined every single detail of a plan to the champion. Ugh, Buffy had met more than her fair share of those types.

Shaking herself like a dog, Buffy attempted almost desperately to rid herself of her shrimp mush coat.

"What hap--," the Doctor stopped speaking when Buffy leveled her gaze at him.

"Don't finish that sentence, or I swear, you'll be looking much worse than me."

The Doctor tipped his head from side to side figuring her assessment was fair enough.

He followed obediently when Buffy snapped her fingers and marched out of the warehouse and plopped into the passenger side of the car. Buffy ruminated silently as the Doctor drove at a slightly more controlled speed.

At last she ran her hands through her hair, "Of all the freaking places to set up base, it's my freaking luck that it happens to be at a shrimp factory."

The Doctor winced visibly before smiling too cheerfully at her, "Well you wear it very well."

She glared again and the Doctor swallowed harshly and his eyes snapped back to the road.

Wet hair swept up in a haphazard bun and clothed in a borrowed, overly loose and large paisley dress draped across her shoulders Buffy and the Doctor hiked back up the hill towards the TARDIS.

"You didn't want to see him again," Buffy stated as she kept her eyes locked ahead.

"No," his voice was subdued.

"If you had, you wouldn't have left him," again it wasn't a question.

The Doctor didn't speak but he gave her an appraising glance.

Buffy shook her head with a snort of dry laughter, "I should hate you for leaving…making him sad. But I guess I'm selfish since I've always been for it, for what you did," she clarified.

No response, but she did catch the furrowed brow. Questions.

"When you tell him, and I know you will because he'll ask, he'll be so sad again. And I'll be the one to pick up the pieces again. So tell me, why'd you leave him?"

Buffy came to a stop before the TARDIS door, blocking the Doctor's only way out of the conversation at hand. She stared directly into his warm dark eyes.

"He was wrong," the answer came after a moment. "A fixed point in time, a fact, he's wrong."

It was said with as much conviction as disgust. Not for Jack himself, but for what he had become. Buffy bit the inside of her lip as she opened the door to go inside.

"So are you, so am I. And sometimes, Doctor, sometimes the best things in life…are…the very most wrong things of all."

Her voice was soft with an entire lack of accusation.

"You know, usually when you knock me out and tie me up, we have really wild sex," Jack smirked at his girl.

Buffy rolled her eyes and sank down onto his waist, "Aww, poor Jackie."

Jack wiggled his hips attempting something that Buffy was certain wasn't going to happen, "Did you behave while we were gone?"

This produced a glare, "I'm not speaking to you anymore," it worked for a moment before his eyes went wide, "What are you wearing?!"

"The latest fashion from Shrimp-Land," the Doctor supplied as he nearly skipped into his ship and over to the console.

Flipping a few switches and rolling a few levers made the TARDIS lurch and Buffy turn green.

She stumbled off her perch on Jack, "Oh, I don't feel so well again."

The Doctor, surprising Jack, rushed to her side and helped her into one of the chairs, "Tummy again?"

She nodded pathetically epitomizing the softness of a sick child, "I'm never looking at shrimp again."

Pulling a fluffy blanket from beneath the console the Doctor tucked it around the Slayer. Jack just watched with his satirical eyes as the Doctor smiled and simpered around his Buffy.

The Doctor slipped away for a few minutes, disappearing into one of the many rooms aboard the TARDIS, only to return with a glass of sparkling gold liquid and a plate of toast. Sitting beside Buffy the Doctor smiled and lifted a piece of toast to her lips.

"Here, this should settle you, that a girl," he chuckled as she chewed.

Leaning amicably against the Time Lord Buffy wrinkled her nose, "Thank you."

"Welcome. So shall we try Crazy Melty Land next," he asked salaciously.

Buffy licked her lips, "See what we can melt?"

Their laughter bounced around the TARDIS cajoling the cool interior into uncharacteristic warmth.

"Hey!" Jack called, "Are we forgetting to un-handcuff somebody?!"

The Doctor smirked at Buffy, "I don't think so, what do you think."

"No, I don't think we did," Buffy smirked right back ignoring the big-britched-man.

Jack could have sworn he was missing something, something big.

Despite the levity of the situation, each member of the 'crew' was devoted to answering and resolving questions and issues that had arisen today. Perhaps the two males were occupied most of all.

Hey all, please review…it always cheers me up—and I desperately need cheering. Hug the author?