Here is chapter two for all of you.
Thanks for all the great feedback you all gave me on chapter one, it really helped when I was putting this chapter together.
Lieutenant T. Meowkins still hasn't figured out a way to get me iCarly, so I still don't own it. Damn lazy cat-lawyer-fireman.
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"Just man up and do it." Gibby said, trying to give a pep talk to Freddie, who looked like he was about to have a panic attack, nervous breakdown, heart attack, and wet himself all at the same time.
"Easy for you to say, you don't actually have to do anything!" he whispered frantically while they were making their way to Sam, who was doing something by her locker.
"I know, it's great isn't it?!" he exclaimed and Freddie glared at him. "But I'm here for moral support!" he added quickly. Freddie sighed and inched closer to his destination, ever so slowly.
"If I don't survive this ordeal, tell my mother I love her." He said, very seriously to Gibby. "Oh and you can't have my camcorder." He added and Gibby groaned in disappointment.
"Come on, it isn't like you would be using it!" he exclaimed, but Freddie didn't respond to him, because he had arrived at Sam's location. He stood there motionless for a second, until she finally saw him out of the corner of her eye and gave him a confused look.
"What do you want Fredward?" she asked, continuing to put books into her locker.
"Um…you see…the thing is…" he trailed off, suddenly realizing he had no idea what the hell he was going to say. Maybe he should have rehearsed or something, but he figures that wouldn't have mattered because he still would have been nervous as hell. Finally he took a deep breath and looked right at her "I need to talk to you."
"Do you really have to?" she groaned and slammed her locker closed.
"Yes." He answered clearly and she rolled her eyes.
"Whatever dude. Say what you need and get out of my face." She bit at him forcefully, making him take a few steps back. She spotted Gibby standing next to him and gave him a hard glare "Leave Gibby." She stated and he took the hint.
"Yeah I was about to leave anyway." He stated nervously. "I need to go…to my clothing optional…break dancing class anyway." He said and ran off down the hall.
"The funny thing is he is completely serious." Sam laughed for a moment and Freddie gave a nervous chuckle. Sam finished the laugh and then screwed her eyes on Freddie "Now tell me what is so damn important."
Freddie sputtered for a minute until Sam turned around and looked like she was about to leave, but he took a deep breath and just plunged right in. No use in beating around the bush with Sam "Go out with me." He stated, with only a little hiccup in the end.
She froze where she stood and Freddie took a few steps back so he had a small lead for when he had to run for his life. She turned around slowly and looked straight at him, her face unreadable, but definitely not too pleased with him at the moment. "Wanna run that by me again?" she growled and he put his hands up in defense and took a few more steps back.
"Hold on Sam, before you kill me hear me out!" he exclaimed and she narrowed her eyes at him.
"You better start explaining quickly." She growled out and he got the point.
"I'm not saying go out with me for real, just kind of fake you know?" he explained, rather poorly.
"Fredward, you have eight and a half seconds to tell me what the hell you're talking about before I end you." She shot at him and he took a deep breath and steadied himself.
"I have a plan in mind, and I need your help with it. I was kind of hoping, we could pretend to date and stuff to make…Carly jealous…" he trailed off when Sam was silent for a minute, and then she started to laugh uncontrollably.
"You actually thought I would help you try to get with my best friend?" she asked, still laughing loudly. "Wow, you are dumber than you look." She said.
"I'm serious Puckett." He said, over the sound of her laughs. "You're the only one who can help me." He said and her laughter died down a little, but she would still chuckle ever so often.
"Is that because I'm the only girl you ever talk to?" she asked, knowing the answer and laughed some more. Freddie was starting to get frustrated with her.
"Can you help me or not?!" he yelled.
"Can I? Yeah. Will I? No." she said, pushing past him and beginning to walk down the hall. He grabbed her wrist to keep her from walking away, and she turned around and tried to hit him for touching her, but he ducked, seeing it coming from past experience.
"Why won't you help me?" he said, letting go of her wrist before she tried to hit him again.
"Are you serious Fredward? Why in the world would I help you in anything, let alone trying to 'woo' my best friend?" she asked. "She's never gonna love you, so I don't why you want to waste your time, and why you insist on wasting my time with it too."
"We won't know that unless we try this plan I have Sam." He answered and she rolled her eyes.
"What's in it for me?" she asked, the small smirk appearing on her face and this was part Freddie was dreading.
"Um…the knowledge of knowing you helped out a friend?" he offered and she shook her head.
"Try again Benson." She said and he sighed.
"Okay, what do you want?" he asked, already cursing himself for putting the ball in her court.
"Well." She started, the smirk growing in size on her face. She reached into her pocket and gave him a piece of paper. He looked at her with a confused look and then looked down to the paper.
"You made a list?!" he asked incredulously when he read the paper.
"It's my 'Freddork favor list'." She told him. "I made that list just in case you ever asked me for a favor, and I finally get to use it!" she said and he groaned and read the items.
"Eight hundred years worth of ham?" he asked and she nodded.
"Duh." She replied, flicking him on the forehead.
"You aren't going to be alive for nearly that long!" he exclaimed.
"I don't want to run out." She replied and he sighed and shook his head.
"Groovy Smoothies for an entire year? That seems reasonable actually, considering I buy them for you all the time." He said, reading off the next line.
"Oh it's reasonable?" Sam asked. "Then let's make it ten years." She said and Freddie sighed, mentally telling himself to shut his mouth.
"I have to wear a chicken costume for every iCarly production for the rest of my life?" he said when he read the next line.
"Ooh I love that one. Make sure you do that." She told him, clapping her hands together.
"Whatever Sam." He said, tossing the paper back at her, even though he didn't read most of the list. "If I do all this, does it mean you're going to help me?" he asked, hopeful.
"Would you really do all that on the list?" she asked.
"I will do anything you ask me to do." He answered.
"Well." She said, putting her hand to her chin in thought. "Before we agree to anything, I need to know what the hell is going through your head."
"It's simple." He answered, his mood rising a little bit seeing that she is at least thinking about it. "We pretend to be boyfriend and girlfriend for awhile, and see if Carly gets jealous. If she doesn't, we break it off and never speak of it again. If she does, and she will by the way, then the plan worked and we go back to normal, and again never speak of it again." He explained.
"I'm not kissing you." She stated sternly and he nodded.
"Yeah, yeah I'm good with that. I just think hand holding and maybe hugging will be sufficient." He said and she shuttered at the thought but he let that go for now.
"How long until we call it quits when she doesn't get jealous?" she asked, prodding him again.
"Your obvious misconception and blatant disregard for my well being aside," he started, sending her a look "I was thinking two months."
"One week." She shot back.
"One month." He replied.
"Two weeks."
"Three weeks."
"Thirty eight minutes."
"I'm good with two weeks." He relented when she gave him a hard glare. "So are you in?" he asked.
She tilted her head in thought "You know what you're asking me to do right?" she asked and he nodded frantically.
"I do, and I would be eternally grateful if you would help me." He pleaded.
She thought for a minute while Freddie was almost dying with anticipation and he held his breath when she opened her mouth to speak "Ah screw it, I'm in. I got nothing better to do anyway." She said.
"Wait really?" he asked, almost not believing what he just heard.
"Yeah, yeah keep your panties on Fredweird, I'm doing it so I could see your face when Carly is completely unaffected." She said but Freddie didn't care why she was doing it, because she was actually going to help him. He never saw this coming.
"Thank you!" he exclaimed throwing his arms around her in a hug. It didn't last long though, because she pushed him off of her forcefully.
"Slow down loser." She said, brushing off invisible Freddie germs or something "We start tomorrow morning, and so help me God if you touch me without me letting you, I will kill you, safe your life, and kill you again. Got it?" she said, narrowing her eyes at him.
He gulped "Yes ma'am."
"Good, now you have to go. You have detention in five minutes." She said, gathering her things to leave.
"What? No I don't." he said.
"You didn't, but I did. And now you're going for me. Number twenty three on the list." She said, walking away from him and he sunk his head.
"What did I get myself into?"
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There you go, hope you happy
I be out yo