AN: Wow, y'all love Mike! Okay, here's a Mike chapter.
"Woah. How did the former chastity-club-pres deal with that?" I asked.
"She turned purple, so Rach decided to take pity on her and turned it from having boyfriends sleep over to a slumber party in the living room." Puck groaned in frustration. "But Finn actually talked to me, and we got to sleep with our girls in our arms so…whatever."
"So you think her dads actually would have let you stay over, like, alone in her room?"
"Yeah! Berry told me, 'Noah, as gay men they have a different attitude toward sex than the average straight parent. They were told for so long that how they felt and the things they did were wrong and unnatural. Although they encourage me to wait until the time is right and to make responsible decisions, they've also taught me not to be ashamed of my bodily urges or my sexuality.'"
I laughed at his Rachel voice. "That's awesome…and kind of weird."
"Just like Berry," he said.
I really liked Rachel. People have said she can't keep a secret, but she's always kept mine. I never had to ask her not to say anything, either. See, Rachel and I have been in a lot of the same dance classes since we were little. My mom has always made me take tap, ballet and ballroom classes. In elementary school, Rachel and I were even partners in ballroom dancing competitions together and we cleaned up. (That girl doesn't mess around when there's a trophy or a ribbon at stake.) I loved dancing, but I also knew that if the other guys at school found out, I'd get daily beat-downs.
When I got older, I convinced Mom to let me ditch tap and ballet for hip-hop and contemporary, and since I joined Glee, she agreed to let me drop ballroom. Everyone in school knows I'm an awesome dancer, but only Berry and Brittany know how I got that way. Most people think I'm like Matt, who just picked it up from stuff he saw on TV and in movies. Recently, though, I did this awesome tap routine with Tina (who knew Tina could dance like that?), and the partnering and flap-ball-changes came back a little too easily. If Berry hadn't known about my lessons before, she would have figured it out then.
I wish people would take it easier on Rachel. Actually, I wish everyone in Glee would take it easier on each other. I joined glee to dance, not to be in some weird soap opera.
Back when Coach Tanaka tried to make us choose between football and glee, I know a lot of people were surprised when I pick glee. They think I did it for Brittany, who was kind of my girlfriend then. The truth is, I only ever joined football so I could dance. I needed to be just popular enough that kids at school would leave me alone, and so—if they ever found out about the dancing—I'd have enough testosterone points in the bank to get away with it and keep any homophobic Lima losers off my back. (I never got why dancing was considered gay. I know there are a lot of gay guys who dance, but I think that's more 'cause people in the arts usually aren't jerks about gayness.)
You might think the football=testosterone strategy is a little less effective now that Kurt joined football, but the thing is, he's made it better. Not that people say that shit less often—about him, or about singing and dancing. It's that I care less. Kurt just is who he is, with no fear-very badass. You want people to see you a certain way—think you're cool and strong. But the only way to really be cool and strong is to forget about the jerks, do what you love, and be who you are. And I am a hetero dude who enjoys singing and dancing—even ballet, contemporary and tap. Screw anybody who doesn't like it.
That's what Kurt and Rachel always got. Sometimes they slip, just like anybody. They do stupid stuff to try to fit in or be popular, like when Kurt went through his flannel phase, or when Rachel made that terrible (but kinda hilarious—Is it bad that I want to put it on YouTube?) Run, Joey, Run video. But they always know when to stop pretending. They never let the pretending take over, until they're afraid to open their mouths all the time.
"Dude, why are you staring at my girl?" Puck growled. We were sitting in the back row of the choir room, like always. Glee rehearsal hadn't started yet, but Rachel was talking to the piano dude. (Glen? Mark? No, Brad!)
"Because she's awesome." Puck's expression darkened. "Not like that, dude. Relax. She and I were friends when we were kids. Dance partners." He raised his eyes like he was skeptical or I was being euphemistic. I rolled my eyes.
I walked across the room, took Rachel's hand and pulled her into a hold a and just said, "Viennese Waltz." She smiled, then turned her head and arched her neck gracefully. It wasn't my favorite style, but it was the style that was least likely to show Rachel's underwear in that short skirt or get Puck jealous (a samba would have been a suicide mission). It's also the kind of dance that's about mastering a form—being as close to perfect as possible—so that you become part of the song.
A few turns in, Brad started playing a waltz on the piano. We did a series of fleckerls (when you turn, but don't move forward), natural turns and reverse turns around the Steinway. We slipped right into an old routine, and I guided her around music stands, a stool, and Kurt and Mercedes. I had just dipped Rachel when Mr. Shue walked in, applauding. Everyone else joined in as Rachel and I took our bows, and Rachel was giggling. One less secret. It felt good. I sat back down next to Puck and shrugged.
"Not bad, but if I'm going to dance, it has to be one of the ones where you get to touch more than the girl's hand. So, what else don't we know about you?" he asked. "You know, all these years, you've denied being a ninja, but…"
"Dude, you know that's kind of racist, right?"
"Like you repeating Cartman's Jew jokes from South Park isn't?"
Rachel started humming some song to herself. Kurt laughed and then they both sang together: "So, everyone's a little bit racist. Okay! Ethnic jokes might be uncouth, but you laugh because…" They paused and fake whispered, "…they're based on truth," then went back to normal volume: "Don't take them as personal attacks. Everyone enjoys them—so relax!"
"Guys," Mr. Shue piped up, "I appreciate using a song to end conflict, but I don't think the judges at regionals are ready for Avenue Q. Maybe 'A Fine, Fine Line,' but most of the songs are too controversial."
"Babe, did you just sing from a dirty musical?"
"A dirty puppet musical," she confirmed with a giggle.
"Did you just call her 'babe?' Oh, hell, naw. We can't have two women sharing one house and one man pre-regionals!" Mercedes exclaimed. "That's a recipe for disaster! You two couldn't wait one month? St. James' body isn't even cold!"
"We're not sharing a man!" Quinn exclaimed, and Finn grinned and took her hand. Kurt looked a little bit proud, and Mercedes smacked him for not filling her in on the gossip sooner.
"And I'm not dead," Jesse complained. "Although I am transferring."
"But…the pretty," Brittany complained. "Your voice and your hair. No more curls sproinging around while we dance?"
Jesse laughed. "Look, I almost stayed—partly because singing with you guys is fun, and partly because I love a challenge. But I'm a senior, and I've spent four years with my friends at Carmel. I think I should graduate with them, especially since the reasons I came here are moot."
"Rachel's not moot anymore," Brittany exclaimed. "She got her voice back!"
"I think I'll miss you most of all," Jesse said, smiling at Brit.
"Did that dude just quote from 'The Wizard of Oz?'" Puck mocked.
"Did you just recognize a quotation from 'The Wizard of Oz?'" Rachel teased back.
I laughed, because only Rachel could get away with saying something like that to Puck.
"I have a little sister!"
"Let it go, Noah, or I'll make you show the whole club how you won me over."
"Berry!" he exclaimed, looking both shocked, yet turned-on.
"I mean the duet, Noah!"
"Oh. No way in Hell, Berry."
"Man, what did you sing?" I asked. Seriously, what was so bad that he'd be ashamed to sing it? "That Sixteen-Going-on-Seventeen song my mom loves from 'The Sound of Music?' Something by the Jonas Brothers?"
"Shut it, twinkle-toes."
"Dude, you just said 'twinkle.'" Then he punched me in the arm, and I slugged him back.
Most of the rest of rehearsal was everybody saying goodbye to Jesse. Once he was gone, we just all stared at each other, trying to figure out what to do next. Then, to everyone's shock, I raised my hand and said, "I have an idea."
AN- What do you think Mike's idea will be for regionals? Take a guess in your review!