Real sorry for not updating for a long time

Very long story as to why I was so late updating involving my laptop, the battery, and the stupid postal service. Pretty self explanatory actually if I think about it.

Whatever. Just read.

Don't own iCarly

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"Wow. I can't believe she actually said yes." Gibby said to Freddie while the two were walking into the school's main hallway the next morning.

"I know, and I'm not sure if I'm supposed to be ecstatic or terrified." He replied.

"Well, this is what you wanted right?" Gibby asked and Freddie nodded.

"Yeah, but I don't know what the hell is going to happen. She said she would help me, but…this is Sam Puckett were talking about, she's freaking insane." He replied.

"Yeah she is." He agreed. "Tough break buddy."

Freddie screwed his eyes at the boy walking beside him "That's all you have to say? I'm about to jump head first into the boiling pit of liquid hot magma that is Sam Puckett and all you have to say is 'tough break'?!" he shot at Gibby who was not affected by Freddie's outburst.

"Well, I was going to say you're putting the 'ouch' in grouch, but it didn't seem appropriate for the situation." He replied.

Freddie let out a defeated sigh "I'll see you at lunch Gibby."

"Bye!" he exclaimed cheerfully and went down the hall to his locker. Freddie hung his head and started to make his way towards his locker, and he felt fear and dread streak down his spine when he saw who was already there.

Sam Puckett.

'Why did she choose this day to be early?' he thought bitterly to himself as she slowly made his way to his locker. He got to his locker and noticed Sam didn't even look his way, so he made the best of the situation and quickly got his books and put them into his backpack, hoping to get out there as fast as he can.

Unfortunately, he had to talk to Sam. She was his 'girlfriend'…kind of…not really. Point is, he has to talk to her sometime, so why avoid the inevitable?

"Hey Sam." He greeted and she finally looked his way with a bored expression on her face.

"Hey loser." She greeted back.

"What? No using my name in some sort of elaborate insult like 'Freddork' or 'Fredly'?" he asked. "Finally running out of ideas?"

"Nah, I'm saving up for when Carly finally gives in and lets me do the one minute lightning round of insulting you using your stupid name for iCarly." She replied. "I've been practicing."

"How many can you do?" he asked.

"I'm up to 67, but I'm pushing for 75 by the end of the month." She shrugged and closed her locker.

"I'm sure you can do more." He sighed, not looking forward to that day when she does it…whether Carly lets her or not.

"But since you insisted on hearing one of my new ones-" she started.

"I don't want to hear a new one." He interrupted

"Since you insisted on hearing a new one," she continued. "I'll indulge you with one of my newer ones. Fredward Bensonian Institute." She stated proudly and he rolled his eyes and groaned.

"I can't believe I finally saw the day when your petty insults became somewhat intelligent." He intoned gravely and she smirked proudly.

"Well, when I was gluing the pages in your history book together, some things just came to me." She shrugged.

"I figured you were the one to do that." He said, grimacing at how much that text book was going to cost him.

"Probably." She agreed and then looked him up and down and scoffed "What gives Benson?" she asked and he was caught off guard.

"What?" he asked.

"Where's your shovel?" she asked and Freddie was thoroughly confused.

"My shovel?" he asked.

"Yeah, you're supposed to bury Ms. Briggs car today, or did you forget?" she asked.

"What the hell are you talking about?" he asked.

"It's number 337 on the list Benson."

"You had 337 things on that list?!" he yelled incredulously.

"At least." She replied simply. "I stopped counting after awhile."

"The list on that paper wasn't nearly that long!" he exclaimed.

"Yeah, like I'm going to show you my whole list." She replied sarcastically. Freddie sighed and buried his head in his hands, and massaged his forehead, knowing a migraine was coming. He can't say he's surprised though, this is Sam he is trying to deal with. "Now where is your shovel?" she asked him.

"I don't have a damn shovel Puckett!" he yelled, losing his cool and she narrowed her eyes at him, which made him shrink back of course.

"Don't raise your voice to me Benson." She growled and he sighed. "Now, since you didn't bring a shovel, I think I have something that would help you." She said.

He looked up and saw her rummaging through her backpack and she finally brought out a spoon. "Luckily I have a spoon." She said, tossing it at him.

"You want me to bury Ms. Briggs car…with a spoon?" he asked and she nodded. "That would take years!" he yelled and threw his hands in the air in frustration.

"You better be glad I didn't give you a fork."

Freddie groaned and took a look at the spoon, an odd green substance coating it, no doubt whatever Sam had for breakfast that morning, and he sure as hell didn't want to know what it was. "Can't I just use the spoon to gouge my eyes out and kill myself instead?"

"No taking the easy way out Benson." She warned and walked down the hall away from him.

"Hey I have to talk to you Sam!" he called after her before she left his sight.

"I know what you're gonna say!" she replied without turning around. "We'll tell her after school!" she replied and went around the corner. Freddie sighed heavily and banged his head against the lockers behind him repeatedly.

"You know, that probably isn't the healthiest thing you could do. Your mother would be disappointed." Came the all too familiar voice and Freddie turned to see his other best friend Carly Shay walking to her locker.

He immediately straightened up and tried to make himself more presentable, to which she just laughed "Calm down Freddie, you look fine."

He let out a nervous and shaky laugh and mentally slapped himself to get a grip on himself. "Sorry, there was a bee…in my…hair." He said and she rolled her eyes with an amused smile.

"Anyway, so who are you going to tell what after school?" she asked.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"Sam said 'We'll tell her after school'. So what's up?" she asked. Freddie didn't want to tell Carly alone that he and Sam were 'dating' so he did what he did best. He stalled.

"She didn't say that. She said that…for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. See ya Carly!" he exclaimed and went off to his next class, leaving a thoroughly confused Carly in his wake.

Oh yeah, he was the best at stalling

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"Hey Sam, do you know where Freddie is? He's usually home by now." Carly asked her friend after school when they got back to her apartment.

"He's in detention for trying to bury Ms. Briggs car with a spoon. Yeah, I don't get that kid either."

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There ya go.

This chapter is what I affectionately call a "Garbage Chapter." It isn't that the content is garbage, it just doesn't advance the plot or storyline, and if it was gone, it wouldn't change the dynamic of the story. I don't usually do that, and I don't really like it when anyone else does it, but I felt I had to put something up because I didn't update for such a long time.

Personally, I'm kind of blah about this chapter, if that's an actual feeling. If it isn't, I want copyright

Hope you enjoyed it anyway

Peace