Teenage Dream

by Lucy Samb

You/ Darren Criss fanfic. The story is about your life with Darren in high school, college and professional life among friendship,love,fights,comings and goings and how you both go through serious stuff such as bullying,suicide,discrimination and life itself. It starts when you meet Darren, a guy of your school in St. Ignatius College Preparatory who never noticed you, a loser.

70. Nothing is what it seems

A/N: Guess who's back? Huzzah! So, first of all I wanna sincerely apologize for how long it's taken me to update this story. I still had to finish this chapter and I didn't have the time to do so. As you may know, I've moved to another city about a month ago and I've already found a job, so the reason why I couldn't write is because I'm working basically all day long and when I get home, I'm really tired; and on weekends I work for myself in personal projects and all, so I really don't have free time. However, I found a little time to update! Thank you for being so patient. Now I'll reply the reviews!

Amaranta: Oh, no! Don't go completely crazy! Or yes… It's good to be a little crazy sometimes, don't you think? It makes life a little bit more interesting, I believe. I think it was your first review, so I want to thank you a lot for reading this story and I hope you enjoy it!

Stacey: I'm sorry! I can't tell you. But I think you already know how things are now. It was very sad for me to write something like that, but some things gotta happen for some reasons and life —sometimes— is little crazy bitch! But everything has its bright side, keep that in mind!

Alexis: I know! You didn't expect it? Well, I never imagined me myself writing something like that because I really loved that character. But well, sometimes our favorite characters don't last forever.

MRSDARRENCRISS589: No! Don't make me that face! It was pretty sad and horrible for me to write it and I swear that sometimes I regretted. But yes. Totally. Sad face. Sad panda.

puppydarrencriss: I'm so sorry about Brian! I liked him, too; but well, these kinds of things happen sometimes and we gotta learn how to face them. I'm really glad that you like the idea of Darren and Freckles together again, though. You've been waiting for a long time for that to happen, I guess. Being that this is your first review, I want to thank you for reading this story and letting me know what you think about it! Thanks for your very nice words; they brought a smile onto my face! And I don't mind at all that you use some things I write as quotes for your journal of quotes; actually, it makes me feel super flattered! I should be the one thanking you!

Andrea: I do remember you, Andrea! How could I possibly forget who you are after the very nice and touching words you told me? You're very welcome for my answers, I love when you ask me things! It makes me feel like you're interested in knowing who the person behind these words is like. Thank you again for saying that this is art! There's nothing more gratifying than knowing that with my words I make you feel things that you love; because, let's be honest, there's nothing better than feelings; so, conveying feelings through words —for me— it's like a huge accomplishment; and creating art is one of the most beautiful things to do because life itself is art. Thank you a lot, Andrea!

sweetjellybears: Aixa! This is your first review! Huzzah! I'm so glad you made it to comment in here. I'm actually pretty happy and your review has brought the biggest, most cheesy smile ever onto my face! Your review was pretty long that is one of the reasons why I love it so much. It's really nice to know exactly what you think about this and about me. So now that I've already said this, let me answer you. Don't worry about this technology stuff because I'm pretty stupid myself. I'm not good at it and I think I will never be; that's why sometimes I tend to hate my phone. I just… those things weren't made for me. It made me grin the fact that my story has helped you a lot. I've always dreamed of writing something that could help others somehow, just with my own experiences or experiences of friends that I've got to experience myself; or just things that I've learned —and I'm still learning, because life it's about it, it's a constant learning. It's pretty gratifying to know that you feel identified with the characters, or the character of Freckles in this case; because that means that the character could be real and not just fictional, which is what I try to do. Yes, I remember that I asked you not to be my fan! I'll tell you why. It's not because I don't like that idea. It's because I'm also a fangirl just like you. That's why I know that when you're fan of someone is because you admire that person very much, because that person has done something great, or because that person has got a talent (a real talent, something that person lives for, a real passion with lot of dedication and work), a person that has made a big change on other people somehow, someone who inspires you. And I'm just a silly girl who one day was bored and decided to grab the computer and write a silly story to get entertained and to vent out feelings that were inside her. I'm not a person who inspires others, though I'd love it. I don't think I'm a talented writer, because I'm not even a writer and if a real writer gets to read this will agree with me. Yes, I love writing, but I don't dedicate a lot of time to do it. And I'm just like you! The idea of the idol/fan makes me feel that the idol is somehow superior than the fan, and I wouldn't like at all to be superior than anyone, I'd hate that. So that's the reason why I requested you such a thing, not because it bothers me or anything like, but because I see us as equals! However, I want to thank you for saying that I'm one of the best fanfic authors you've ever read; because even though I don't feel comfortable with the thing of having fans, it's something nice to hear and —as all nice things in life— it made me smile and feel happy. What makes me feel happy is that you enjoy reading the story and you like it, all the things you told me about it. Thank you a lot for saying that it hasn't turned boring to you! Even if you don't believe it, it means a lot to me. But, never trust in my English! I'm not really good at English and writing this is my way to practice it! Haha. You must know that I'm from Argentina, so you know English is not my first language. Really, trust your teachers and not me when it comes to English! Ah! Barcelona! I always wanted to go there; as an architect, I admire Gaudi, so it's a place I must visit at some point of my life. Now, about the story. I hated myself when I killed Brian, because he was one of my favorite characters, too. I guess Brian was the kind of guy I'd have liked to have a relationship with. Breckles! Geez, I fucking love it. I think you're right about what you said. Maybe Brian was indeed a good character and he'll always be remembered as such in this fictional world! That makes me smile and vanish the tears I let fall when I wrote his death. I totally understood what you meant! Damn, Harry Potter was like a stab to my poor little heart! You have no idea how much I've cried reading it. Damn, damn, damn. Yet, I love it and it'll always be my favorite saga. Forever. I do receive suggestions from followers and I'm very glad you made me one! I really love when people do it! It makes me feel like we're writing this story together, which is something special to me. I'll totally include a song by Ed Sheeran. My sister is a big fan of Ed and I gotta admit that I like his songs, they are really good. So, I'll include an Ed's song, so maybe if Darren sings it to Freckles, he'll get laid with her! Haha. And I think I can include another Taylor Swift song! Her songs are pretty accurate for this story sometimes! And more for what I have in mind writing! Welcome to my life, drama queen! I present you the drama land where we'll live dramatically happy! Don't mind me, I tend to be such an idiot. So, I'll be waiting for your next review in which you'll talk about our dork Darren! And you'll never be annoying to me, okay? Thank you for taking the time to write a review, I really appreciate it. Kisses on your nose, too!

So that was it all. Now, I want to tell you that this is the last chapter that I have written. I don't know when I'll be able to write again, so you won't see me around for a while. I'm sorry! I hope I can finish the story, though. It'll take time but I wanna do it, so don't be afraid, if you're afraid. Thus, I want to wish you the very best for your lives and I hope you can be happy. Thank you for reading this story, thank you for your support, and most of all, thank you for making me happy and for allowing me to go after one of my dreams —that before I didn't know existed— that is to believe that in this website I'm a kind of a writer. Thank you for making me realize that writing is one of my passions. Sending you lots of hugs and kisses. Until next time! Warm fuzzies, guys!

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TEENAGE DREAM

Chapter 70

Nothing is what it seems

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I was still shocked by what I saw. Freckles and Jen's hysterical screams were making it worse; it was clouding my common sense and it was disturbing me, making me feel very exasperated. Mandy and Joey were paralyzed, like taken aback, like petrified. Freckles' phone wouldn't stop buzzing and the more she read the text messages she was receiving, the more distraught and panicky she was feeling; thus, I took her phone and kept it with me. She looked at the hand that was still on my lap and her face went very pale to the point I thought she was gonna faint, so I hid it behind me before hugging her. She was shivering, rocking her body back and forth and I honestly didn't know what to do. Mandy was the first who moved from where she was; oddly enough, she sat next to Jen and rubbed her back to reassure her, as Joey did the same. Freckles' phone buzzed again and this time I was the one who read the text message, doing my best not to let Freckles read it.

"Another suggestion: You can use the wanker's hand as a necklace. Didn't you want to feel his touch again? Now you can do it, whore!"

Fucking psycho. How could someone be that deathly macabre? Jim was much worse than a serial killer and a schizophrenic as he was diagnosed. He was a sociopath, a completely demented person. And I was feeling powerless because he was still there, ruining people's lives, mocking our pain, playing devilishly with our feelings, destroying everything; he was still doing the fuck he wanted after killing our friend. Freckles' phone buzzed again.

"Little whore... Why would you insist to keep chasing me? You know you won't win this."

I growled as Freckles was weeping on my shoulder. I felt very frustrated because at every opportunity we had to catch him, we always failed, he always managed to escape. And that was fucking unfair. After all we did, after all these years, after every damn thing, he was still ahead of us, he was always ready to counter our attack; and every time he attacked, we didn't have the enough to counter. And Brian — the only one who knew how to minimally counter Jim and how to attack Jim's weak spot — was now dead. Everything we had of Jim was thanks to Brian and we didn't know how to continue what he started. Therefore— all over again after a long time— I felt hopeless, I felt like this was already a lost 'game' and we were the losers. Freckles' phone buzzed again.

"And if you continue with this, little whore, I'll make sure that each one of your loved ones end up like the wanker. You'll be the biggest collector of body parts of different people."

Why was Jim torturing only my girlfriend? I wanted to bring him down and make him pay for it and for all he had done. Maybe it was because Freckles was Brian's closest friend and maybe Jim was thinking that Brian told her something that only he knew, something very important, like the ultimate weapon that could bring him down. Brian surely had known something very important that didn't get the chance to tell us, probably that was why he knew how to counter-attack Jim, he knew the way to manipulate Jim to some extent. And I had to know what it was; it was the only way. Once again, Freckles' phone buzzed.

"So you know, whore. Stay away, stop the investigation and do not fucking contact the bitch of my twin or you'll awfully regret."

Kelly. Kelly was the key. I remembered Brian had told me about Kelly and how he had talked to her to get information about Jim. Kelly surely told him that important thing that nobody else knew. That was why Jim was harassing Freckles: because he was desperate, he was scared of what Kelly could tell her, because he knew about that encounter between Kelly and Freckles in the ladies restroom at that restaurant. I suddenly had an instant of complete brightness and everything was starting to make sense; now things didn't seem so hopeless and lost. Surreptitiously, I looked at Joey over Freckles' head and I gestured him if he could come over here to reassure her. Fortunately he understood right away because he stood up, sat next to Freckles, and put an arm over her shoulder.

"Be right back, baby." I kissed her forehead and she looked at me with a pair of disturbed, teary eyes. I fondled her cheek. "I promise."

"Come here, Freckles." Joey whispered gently and she buried her head on his shoulder. Joey looked up at me and frowned.

"I'll explain later." I muttered with my lips and he nodded.

With Freckles' phone on my hands, I locked in my bedroom. I searched for the phone number Kelly gave Freckles that day. When I found it, I called her and waited till she picked up the call.

"Freckles. I thought you wouldn't call me." I heard Kelly's voice.

"Kelly, it's Darren." I said and it was followed by a silence.

"Oh, hi." She whispered. "Are you calling me from somewhere safe?"

"Yes, I am." I answered. "Listen... Freckles told me about the encounter in the restroom of that restaurant and she told me about this number. Well, I'm calling because I want to meet you to talk about your twin."

"I will only meet Freckles." She replied and I frowned. "This is risky and I know Freckles is very cautious and sneaky. So I'll meet only her to talk about Wade." She explained and I obviously disliked the answer.

"Alright, listen, Kelly... We are a team, so everything we do, we do it on team. And you just need us as much as we need you and your boyfriend. And if this whole situation is risky, do you think I'll leave my girlfriend alone? No freaking way. I'll go wherever she goes to take care of her. So, you'll meet both of us." I answered as she remained very silent. "Kelly, with everything that your twin did to you and your boyfriend, you must understand me; you surely understand that I'll do anything as possible to protect her."

"Of course I understand you, Darren." She whispered. "But this is a complicated situation. I can't put this at risk."

"Kelly..." I said, starting to blow my cool. "The conditions are if you meet both of us and also Jen, who is the one who hired the lawyer and the private investigator, so she's the one who knows more than any of us. The three of us had to deal with the asshole of your twin in high school, also now. So... If you can't accept these conditions, we won't work together to imprison your twin as you also want. It's up to you." I said very determined and she remained extremely silent.

"Fine. But just the three of you. No one else. And you must be very cautious and patient, because Wade is watching me all the time." Kelly answered and I made a gesture of triumph. "Why now, though?"

"Because the asshole of your twin pushed the envelope tonight." I responded, clenching my jaw.

"What has he done?" She asked curiously.

"For starters, I don't know if you know that he shot our friend Brian and caused his death. And not content with that, he decided to continue threatening my girlfriend in an awfully macabre way, so the demented of your twin has just sent a little present as he called it. That little present was Brian's hand. And he said he will keep sending parts of Brian's body." I answered, feeling angry and nauseous because of his dementia.

"Are you saying that Wade has sent you Brian's hand?" She asked with guttural voice.

"Yes, that's the fucking I'm saying." I responded.

"Darren, are you sure that's Brian's hand and not someone else's hand?" She asked with absolute clarity.

"Are you fucking kidding me, Kelly? Dammit! It had his dad's wedding ring!" I responded and the image of Brian's hand popped into my mind again, making me feel like throwing up.

"It's a ring. Wade could have stolen the ring and put it on someone else's hand, Darren." She whispered, her voice trembling a little.

"Oh my god. I don't wanna talk about it! It is completely traumatic to have my friend's hand here and you want me to corroborate if it's indeed his hand or not?" I asked in disbelief.

"Darren... You must check if that's really Brian's hand." She said almost authoritatively. "Listen... Nothing is what it seems. That's how Wade likes to play his game. He is good at tricking people in order to traumatize them and generate fear. That's why he always wins. His plans and threats are pretty deceptive." She said and I remained silent. "Do you really think Wade would cut Brian's body into pieces? Despite everything, Brian was the only one Wade respected a little because he was a good adversary. And if anything, how do you know if Wade has Brian's body? Or... How do you even know if Brian is dead for real or not? Everything could be a great deception." She said and I frowned because she was starting to talk nonsense.

"I was at the hospital when Brian died." I answered.

"Did you get to see his dead body?" She questioned.

"No..." I answered, hesitating. But then I remembered when Freckles left the room where Brian died. "But Freckles saw it. She saw the moment when he died because doctors couldn't revive him."

"Oh... I'm very sorry to hear about it. He was a good guy and very strong and loyal to his friends." She whispered and I looked down and nodded, even if she couldn't see me. "I don't wanna be disrespectful and I get this is a hard topic to talk about for you... But we must talk about this. Are you very sure that Wade has Brian's body?" She asked and I bit my lips.

"No, I'm not very sure..." I finally answered with a sigh. "But Freckles went to the hospital to get his body from the morgue for the funeral and in the hospital they told her that his aunt was the one who could claim for the body. And Brian's aunt is on your twin's team. And then your twin sent a text message asking how it felt to know he had his body." I added.

"Darren, are you aware that Brian's aunt was threatened?" Kelly asked and I frowned. What? "She was never on Wade's team. She was threatened just as all of us were. And I think you don't know that after she posed as Brian's mother as Wade forced her to do, after she failed and Brian found out she was his aunt and not his mother, Wade murdered her because she didn't do satisfactorily what he asked. That was about four months ago. Brian's aunt is dead. She couldn't have taken Brian's body." She stated and I dropped my jaw. What the hell? I was stunned.

"But... The hospital... They said... They said his aunt already claimed for the body." I stammered, feeling completely confused and flurried.

"Darren... Nothing is what it seems, remember?" She asked and I was feeling kinda dizzy. "There are two options. Either Wade threatened the doctors who told that to Freckles, or Wade stole Brian's aunt ID and forced a person to pose as his aunt. First option, Brian's body is still at hospital. Second option, when doctors searched the register of his aunt found out that she is dead; therefore, the person was using a fake ID; that means that Brian's body is still at hospital. All in all, all of this means that hand could not possibly be Brian's hand, Darren. Nothing is what it seems." She said and my mind was spinning.

I was more bewildered than ever. What she said turned everything upside down. We were fucking tricked by Jim, all the time, about everything. But most importantly... Brian's body was still at hospital. Jim actually didn't have anything; everything was a big delusion that was very well played. I felt extremely relieved, because Brian's body was safe, Jim couldn't mess with that. "Nothing is what it seems", maybe that was what Brian knew that none of us knew, that was why he could counter Jim.

"Darren, are you there?" She asked and I realized I've been silent for a long time.

"Yes, I am." I responded.

"Listen... Wade does not have a real team. Only two guys, Gary and Luke, are part of his team; the rest are just innocent people who are being threatened." She said and I nodded. "We have big chances of winning him because there are a lot of people who want to get back at him, but we must understand his logic as much as Brian could understand. For that, we have to meet. But not now. I will tell you when and where. And remember, you must be cautious." She said.

"Okay. Yes." I responded with trembling voice, because I was still stunned.

"Darren... Think that at least Wade doesn't have Brian's body, so you can prepare a worthy funeral for your friend." Kelly said gently and I bit my lips and nodded, feeling a bit afflicted. "You'll get it. And Wade is gonna pay for all he did. You need to think about it. Okay?"

"Yes, okay. Thanks." I whispered, my voice sounding brittle. "I better..."

"You better go tell this to your friends and girlfriend." She finished saying. "I'll let you know when we can meet. I gotta hang up now. Take care."

"You too, Kelly. Bye." I said before she hung up.

I stayed in my bedroom in silence for a long time, trying to digest the news. I didn't know how I'd tell the rest about this right in this moment, when everybody was shocked. They'd think I was crazy, because actually this whole thing was crazy. I returned to the living room and I saw Mandy still reassuring Jen and Freckles burying her face on Joey's shoulder who was holding her. They were calmer, but the fraught morbid ambience was still present in the room. I sat next to Freckles and gave her a kiss on the top of her head, then I wrapped my arm around her. Joey stopped holding her to let me do so and he looked at me, as wanting to know what was going on; while Freckles wrapped her arms around my waist and rested her head on my chest to look for comfort.

"Baby..." I whispered gently while holding her tightly. "I talked to Kelly. That's not Brian's hand." I stroked her hair and she parted to look at me with disturbed eyes. The rest looked at me abruptly.

"What?" Freckles asked with strangled, wobbly voice. I cupped her jaw with one hand and brushed her cheek with my thumb.

"Jim doesn't have Brian's body. It's a delusion that involves his motto 'nothing is what it seems'. Jim never had Brian's body, so that's not Brian's hand." I answered softly, making sure that Jen, Joey and Mandy were also listening.

"But... The ring." Freckles let out a sharp yet muffled wail.

"The ring is George's wedding ring that Jim has stolen. But he has not Brian's body and that is not his hand. Listen, Brian's body is still at hospital, baby." I said, trying to find the gentlest words to say all of this. She was confused, just as the rest.

"But... His aunt..." She stammered troubled. I picked up her chin to make her look into my eyes.

"Brian's aunt is dead." I said and she frowned. I winced and sighed. "Kelly told me. She told me Brian's aunt was threatened just like us to pose as Brian's mother. When she failed, Jim... murdered her. This happened about four months ago." I said and everybody looked at me perturbed. "Jim got a fake ID of Brian's aunt and that's why doctors told you she claimed the body. But when doctors corroborated the information, they found out the ID was fake; therefore, Brian's body is still at hospital." I explained, thinking this was the most accurate of the options Kelly told me.

"But... If Jim managed to steal the ring and falsify an ID... He could have managed to steal Brian's body. What if he did that? Then that hand..." Freckles whimpered.

"Hey, baby... calm down." I cupped her face in my hands, making her meet my gaze. "There's no way he could have stolen a body in a hospital with security operating 24 hours a day. It is impossible." I said very surefire, even if I wasn't so sure, more if it came to Jim, because he was capable of anything.

"Uh... I think Darren has a point, sis." Mandy suddenly spoke, her voice sounding throaty. I looked at her thankful. "There is... Um, there's a way to corroborate it..." Mandy whispered, with a disturbed facial expression, glancing at the mailing bag.

"Baby... Don't." Joey whispered cautiously when he got what Mandy's intention was.

"I need to be sure." She responded with brittle voice.

"Joey..." I said when I also got Mandy's intention. "Why don't you offer Freckles and Jen something to drink?" I asked, trying to find an excuse for him to take them away while doing this in order not to traumatize them again.

"Sure." He responded, letting out a long sigh. "Girls, come with me, please." He said, holding their hands to basically force them to walk away from here.

"No. I want to be here. I wanna see." Freckles complained stubbornly.

"Baby, please, go with Joey." I requested gently.

"No." She refused strongly. "Do you think I'm stupid? Do you think I don't know how you wanna corroborate it?" She asked and I looked at her afflicted.

"Sis..." Mandy whispered.

"No. If there's one person who can corroborate if that is Brian's hand or not, that's me. I held his hand several times. I know how it feels and how it fits with mine. So, I will do it." Freckles said firmly.

"I think you'll be better off with Joey, baby." I replied mildly as she shook her head.

"I will do it myself. I can do it and I will." She said, letting go Joey's hand to walk straight to the couch where the mailing box was, without giving us time to stop her.

She took the mailing box and pulled out the hand, making a pained grimace but not changing her mind. All of us were looking at her intently and extremely silent. She closed her eyes for a split second, taking a deep breath before intertwining her fingers with the fingers of that hand, flinching. It was morbid as fuck, but it was the only way. She made a disgruntled grimace, took off the ring and left the hand.

"It's not his hand..." She whispered, frowning. "It is a fucking prosthetic hand."

"What?" Mandy asked bewildered, taking the hand and making the same disgruntled face that Freckles made. "It is indeed." She said and I felt very relieved, despite the morbid deception. I could notice Joey and Jen felt relieved as well.

"Tell me what else Kelly told you." Freckles suddenly requested coldly, her eyes darkened and her jaw clenched. She was upset. "Because I'm gonna destroy the asshole of Jim." She added and I saw Mandy dropping her jaw and Joey widening his eyes. "Tell me now."

"Yeah..." I whispered, taking her hand and forcing her to sit on my lap. I enfolded my arms around her and looked into her eyes that were looking away, radiating rage. "First I want you to calm down. Being mad will cloud your thinking and it doesn't work that way, baby." I said tranquilly, but she just harrumphed. "Listen, we are gonna find Jim and he will get his due. We will also find the way to get Brian's body, that is surely at hospital. And we will work along with Kelly and her boyfriend. I assure you this. But for that, we need to think clear, we need to be patient and we need to act sneakily and cautiously; something that we won't get if we let madness rule our actions. So, would you calm down, baby?" I requested softly, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

"Okay." She whispered as I noticed how she softened her uptight facial expression. I grinned and pecked her lips.

"The same goes for you, guys. We are a team." I said, looking at the rest who nodded. "Remember that we got each other, and things aren't as bad as we think they are. At least we're now certain that Jim doesn't have Brian's body, and that's a really good thing. And we're not alone on this, we've got Kelly's help and Jim doesn't have a real team. I could say we're at advantage, only that till now we've fallen into his traps. That gotta change, starting now." They nodded and I was feeling like some sort of leader, even if I wasn't. "Kelly told me that nothing is what it seems. Jim plays that way, with deceptions, that's why he could always win us. We gotta keep it in mind all along. We gotta show him that we're not fools, that we will win him, that he cannot hurt us, that we're stronger." I said as they nodded again. I took Freckles hand and touched the ring she was holding. "We gotta finish what Brian started. He wanted us to finish this and it's the least we can do for our bro." I said and I saw how everybody turned their gazes down, nodding slightly. Mandy, particularly, was making a big effort not to cry while Jen was shedding silent tears.

"That's right, Dare. We gotta finish what Brian started. For him and for us." Freckles whispered, wiping her tears away, a soft grin crossing her lips, a proud look directed at me. "All together, we can do it, guys." She said encouragingly, looking at her sister, Joey and Jen. Then she looked at me. "Tell us what Kelly has told you."

"We agreed we're gonna meet to talk about Jim and what to do, but she'll let me know when and where because he's watching her at all times." I responded and the rest nodded. "And well, she wanted to meet only you; however, I managed to convince her that I will go, too... And also you, Jen, because you're the one who knows everything about the investigation that the lawyer and the private investigator are doing. But, uh, that's all." I said, looking at Joey and Mandy.

"Wait, what?" Mandy asked, apparently disgusted. "Does this mean Joey and I aren't allowed to go? Brian was like my brother! I need to be there. I feel like… left aside!" She complained, but more than upset she was distressed; it'd been like this the last days, Mandy was lately sensitive and vulnerable.

"You're not gonna be left aside, Mandy." I answered calmly as Joey wrapped an arm around Mandy, who was now looking down and biting her lips. "It's only that you and Joey won't go because it's risky. But we will tell you everything; you'll know just as much as us." I said and she pouted. "I promise."

"I will feel useless. And I wanna do something for Brian." She whispered with brittle voice as Joey squeezed her shoulder.

"You won't be useless, Mandy." Freckles suddenly spoke. "And you are doing something for him…" She added with a kind grin. "Look at you. You're starting to be more open, showing your feelings and being nicer as you promised him." She said softly and I nodded in agreement as Mandy's eyes glimmered with tears and grinned faintly. "And as Darren said, you and Joey will know as much as we do because we're a team, okay?"

"Okay." Mandy answered, taking a deep breath to control her feelings. Joey smiled at her and planted a kiss on her temple.

"Jen, you're so quiet. I'd like to know what you think." I stated and everybody looked at her, who looked at me surprised, as though she wasn't expecting someone to notice her.

"Uh... Yeah." She whispered, looking down. "I don't know." She added and we all frowned. She hadn't been acting normally lately; she didn't even seem to be the Jen I knew. "I'm quite... messy to think right now. Sorry."

"Jen, you don't have to come if you feel bad. Darren and I can do it, don't feel pressured." Freckles said with gentle voice.

"No, I will go." Jen let out a long sigh. "I want to go. Only that I'm not able to come up with any kind of plan or anything like... I just... I want this to be over." She added and Joey, who was still next to her, squeezed her shoulder. "Because I can no longer stand any of this." Her voice cracked as she frowned and a tear escaped the corner of her eye.

"This will be over, Jenny. You have my word." I said friendly, feeling sad for her. "We're gonna sort everything out." I added, talking in general, and she nodded. Freckles looked at me and smiled sweetly before resting her head on my shoulder.

"Don't give up, Jen. I know we can do this." Mandy whispered, but we all heard her. She walked next to Jen and put an arm over her shoulder. "You're strong, don't let this bring you down. Remember that if there's one person who is able to finish what Brian started, it's the same person who ever managed to help Brian successfully. That's you, Jen." She said gently and I felt surprised, in the good way, because this wasn't something Mandy would usually say.

"I agree... You are like Brian's legacy." Joey commented, also in a whisper, as Jen looked at them with teary eyes but with a faint grin onto her face.

I saw Freckles grinning faintly, but looking down. And I knew her too well to know that it was because she would have liked to hear someone telling her that; not out of selfishness, but because they were best friends and they always had something 'special'. I kissed the top of her head as a way to reassure her. When I saw her teary eyes, I knew that she was making things up in her mind.

"Be right back." She managed to whisper.

"Baby..." I whispered, looking at her afflicted.

"I'm okay." She whispered and stood up and headed to the bathroom before I could stop her. I noticed how Jen, Joey and Mandy followed her with their sight, frowning slightly.

"What happened?" Mandy asked.

"Nothing." I responded with a sigh. "I will just... Give us a minute." I requested gently and they nodded.

I walked to the bathroom and entered without knocking the door. I saw Freckles sitting on the floor, holding face in hands; when I closed the door, she looked abruptly and startled at my direction and I saw her reddened eyes and her tears, then she covered her face again, letting out a muffled wail. I looked at her anguished before walking towards her to sit on the floor next to her, wrapping an arm around her.

"Baby." I whispered softly and she shook her head.

"I'm okay. I'm fine." She uttered with strangled voice.

"No, you are not." I said, trying to make her look at me. "And it's okay not to be okay."

"No, it's not." She sobbed, her voice sounding shrill.

"Yes, it is baby." I rubbed her back. "This last month you've been holding back your pain. You say you just found a way to live with your pain, but that's not completely true. You didn't even allow yourself to feel your pain after the day you read that letter from Brian to you."

"I did feel pain after that. I did cry." She responded, wiping some of her tears away as I shook my head.

"You did cry. But you cried out of frustration or because of something traumatic like what we recently experienced; but not because of the pain and sadness of losing him." I answered and her lips began to quiver when she looked away.

"I can't do it. I made a promise." Her brittle voice echoed in the bathroom.

"I know you made him the promise that you wouldn't weep because he's no longer here and that you would remember him and smile; and I know you don't want to break the last promise you made him." I said and she nodded. I squeezed her shoulder and found her eyes that were glimmering with tears, but that wouldn't fall down. "But sometimes you have to weep in order to be able to remember someone and smile. Brian wanted you to smile for real and the only way you'll get that is if you let out all that pain, baby. You won't let him down if you weep; contrariwise, you will make him feel proud because you'll be true to yourself and that is what he always wanted to see of you."

"How can you know that?" She frowned, looking into my eyes to find the answer. I cupped her cheek with one hand.

"Because Brian loved you as much as I love you; so I know that when you love someone that much, the only you expect from them is to see how they're true to themselves, because you fall in love with their whole being, not just the good side." I smiled fondly, stroking her cheek. "Give yourself the time to weep, baby. If you want, I can be right here by your side while you do it."

"Yes, please, stand by me." She replied with breathy voice, tears of distress flooded her eyes.

And before I could say something, she broke into tears and I could feel her pain when a stream of tears made its way down. I clasped her in my arms and when she buried her face in my chest, I held her tightly, rubbing her arms comfortingly. I kissed the top of her head and let her cry.

"There you go. Let it all out." I whispered when she let out a loud sob.

She was strong for me before, now it was my turn to be strong for her. Even though her crying made me feel a deep anguish and more when I thought that the reason of her crying was because we lost our friend, she needed me to be strong for her. Maybe not strong, but a person who could comfort her; or a person who could just be there, holding her for her to know she wasn't alone and she had me. She cried for a long time until she placed her hands on my shoulders and looked up at me. Her eyes were puffy, the tip of her nose red, and her lips swollen; yet she looked pretty. And I thought there wasn't a prettier person than the one who isn't ashamed of showing even her broken side. In high school I fell in love with the dispirited version of Freckles, so seeing her like this made me feel even more infatuated, oddly enough. I looked deeply into her eyes and gave her a sweet smile.

"Thank you for always being that person." She said with ragged voice. She didn't even have to specify what kind of person she meant for me to know. "I love you, Dare." She whispered, her voice sounding tender.

Right away, she snuggled up to me, enfolding her arms around me and resting her face on my chest as a way to look for my protection. I loved being the one who made her feel protected.

"I love you, too, baby." I responded, kissing her temple. "All of you." I added with a grin. "And I'm your blanket, remember?" I asked and she looked into my eyes to give me a smile.

"You're the best boyfriend a girl can have." She pecked my lips and I felt warm inside.

---

You were with Darren and Jen, checking if the address that Kelly gave you was correct. But the text message said it was right there, in that place, there wasn't any mistake. All of you exchanged looks of suspicion. This place didn't seem safe at all, it was more like bloodcurdling. However, you entered the dim and seedy narrow alley with its walls of cement brick with graffiti, and walked past stray cats and dumpsters. You could smell a mix of garbage, sewer and marijuana; and you could hear various types of music echoing. When you caught a glimpse forward, you distinguished some haggard-looking people, smoking cigarettes and tagging the walls. Darren stepped closer to you and held your hand, then he also held Jen's hand. You really didn't know in what you were getting into. Why would Kelly request to meet up in a place like this? When you walked past the dudes smoking and marking the walls, they continued following you with their gaze until you arrived at the end of the alley, where stood a tall building with a wrought iron entry door. Before you could ring the doorbell, you sensed the dudes who were smoking behind you, cornering you. You glanced at Darren who was surreptitiously glancing back and you imagined the worst.

"It is a trap." You muttered with your lips when Darren turned his gaze to you. He winced, as telling you 'I know'.

That was your fault, for trusting a person who was the twin of the person who was bullying you. You were still too naive to realize who had good intentions and who didn't. Without warning, Jen turned around and looked at the dudes in a fearless way, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Is there any problem?" Jen asked boldly, raising an eyebrow. The dudes looked at her and smirked.

"You're outsiders." One of them answered.

"Yeah, that's clear. Yet, that doesn't answer my question. Is there any problem?" She asked coldly and you looked at her stunned. You would lie if you said you weren't frightened.

"Jen..." Darren whispered.

"Isn't this chick kind of cheeky?" The same guy asked, looking at the other three.

"Answer my question." Jen demanded authoritatively; yet her bossy tone didn't inflict any kind of effect on the dude.

"I don't treat with cheeky chicks." He smirked, taking a step closer.

"Hey, you!" You suddenly spoke loudly with absolute clarity, suddenly acquiring a sense of protecting your friends. All of them looked at you and you felt edgy, but it wasn't time to chicken out. "Why don't you go doing your own thing and let us do our own thing, dude? This is a liberal place, so let's just spare us the shit and peace out, man." You said with modulated voice, staring fixedly at that dude who was smirking in a brash way.

"It turns out that this place is not a liberal place for those who don't usually frequent the area, bitch." He answered contemptuously, stepping closer to you to place his thumb on your chin. Darren reacted very fast, stepping in front of you to push the dude away.

"Get the fuck outta here, asshole." Darren yelled angry. The dude got mad now and he pushed Darren back.

"Who the fuck do you think you are, dickhead?" He asked as the other three dudes closed their fist, looking fiercely at Darren. However, Darren looked defiantly at them.

"Who do you think you are, asshole? Mind your own business and do not dare to touch any of us." He said furious, pushing the dude again.

"You won't fucking..."

"Stop!" Your rabid yell echoed in the alley, making everybody shut up to look at you.

You looked rabidly at the dude who pushed Darren — and without even minding the other three dudes and what they could do — you walked straight to that dude to basically bury your finger on his chest. Once again, you were acting on instinct without contemplating the consequences.

"Listen to me!" You yelled, your voice again echoing. "I'm tired of dealing with this kind of shit. So fucking weary!" You roared, softly pushing the dude who was looking at you perplexed. You saw how Darren attempted to step between you and him, but you shot him a withering look. "No! You stay right there, Darren! So do you, Jen!" You screamed and returned your gaze to the dude. "You and your bros better go the fuck away and let us do the shit we came here to do that nothing has to do with you or your activities or whatever shit you may be thinking." You menaced. "And if you cornered us because of orders of that damn bully, you better tell him to stop being a friggin wimp and tell him to face up to me face to face because I'm not scared of that bag of shit. But stop with this fucking scene of badass dudes!" You hollered, puckering your brows. The dudes were now looking at you stunned, raising their eyebrows.

"That was clear." The only one who had been talking said. You just clenched your jaw. "You're Darren, Jennifer and Freckles?" He asked and you narrowed your eyes as Darren stepped next to you, just in case something bad comes to happen to protect you.

"Why? Jim ordered to find us?" You asked, raising an eyebrow with a disgruntled crooked smile.

"Hush! Don't mention his name out loud." He whispered, looking around a bit altered. "It's not safe, he's all the time watching." He added and you looked at him very suspiciously. "You came here to see Kelly, right?"

"That's none of your business." Jen answered coldly.

"Yes, it's actually something of my business." The guy answered, this time not sounding scornful as before. "First off, let me introduce myself... I'm Sincere. Well, that's the way people call me. And Kelly's boyfriend is a chum. They asked me to bring the three of you to them safe and sound from you know who." He explained and you narrowed your eyes, still feeling a bit suspicious. "And I apologize for the way I treated you, I thought you were working for you know who... Many of them have already tried to pry into Kelly's plans and we had to be forehanded."

"I don't trust you." Jen said, crossing her arms over her chest, looking severely at that Sincere guy.

"You do well. You should rely on nobody but yourselves." He responded and you thought that was a good thing to say for you to make you feel a bit less suspicious. "We should continue talking in a safer place and I should bring you to them."

"I'm not going anywhere with you. We came here to meet Kelly, and she did not mention anything about the four of you." Darren replied determined.

"Well, I guess there's only one way you'll figure out what team side I'm on." The Sincere guy said while walking to the entry door. He rang the doorbell while looking at the three of you as you were looking fixedly at him.

"Yes?" Kelly's voice said.

"Kelly. The three of them are here, safe and sound as you requested." Sincere responded.

"Describe me their most significant appearances." Kelly requested and you frowned.

"The guy has bushy curly dark hair and triangle eyebrows. One of the girls has straight light brown hair and wears horn-rimmed glasses. The other girl has short hair and freckles all over her face and quite plump lips." The guy responded, winking and you saw how Darren clenched his teeth and shot him a withering look before he held your hand.

"Great, Sincere. It's them. Let them come in. There's no need to check them." Kelly replied.

"So, would you follow me, now?" Sincere asked and you all remained silent.

There were two possibilities: Either this guy and Kelly had good intentions and everything would be fine, or this guy and Kelly were on Jim's team and you would be getting into serious trouble. Either way, you were already in a place where you couldn't easily escape and you might as well take a leap into the great unknown.

"We will follow you. But you must know that if something goes wrong for us, you will regret." You answered, pretending to be intrepid.

You noticed how Jen and Darren glanced at you. They knew you were talking bullshit because they knew pretty well that you all were stupid enough not to take the precaution to bring something to your own defense.

"I like your attitude, girl. You won't be easily fooled by you know who." Sincere responded and Darren looked at him annoyed, but you didn't change your poker face. "Alright, follow me. Chums, stay here, patrolling the area." He requested, looking at his three friends who nodded.

He opened the entry door and entered. Darren held your hand firmly and you intertwined an arm with Jen's, as a way to keep her close. Then all of you followed the Sincere guy, walking through an empty and dim corridor; it seemed it was an abandoned building, because it was very silent and very dirty. When you started climbing the stairs, you began to have a bad feeling out of this. In this instance you couldn't trust that guy, you couldn't trust Kelly.

"This is a trap." You whispered so that only Darren and Jen would hear you.

"I believe so as well." Jen whispered, looking fixedly at Sincere.

"I don't think it's a trap." Darren whispered. "I don't trust the guy, but I do trust Kelly."

"How come you're so sure you can trust her?" Jen questioned.

"I know her since my Freshman year of college." Darren answered and you glanced at him. "She was a sort of bitch, but she never hurt me. And if she had been on Jim's team, don't you think she would have hurt me?" He asked and you raised an eyebrow. "Besides, she gave us very important documents about Jim and his past."

"She could have been pretending to be nice to you just to get information for Jim. And we don't even know if the documents she gave us are fake or not." Jen pointed out and Darren shook his head.

"Brian trusted her. If Brian trusted her, it means she is a reliable person." He said and you pursed your lips and looked down.

"And see how Brian ended up..." You commented sadly, without even realizing what you were saying until Darren and Jen looked at you astonished. "I'm so sorry." You whispered with wobbly voice, feeling terrible. "I just... I have a bad gut feeling about this." You said, looking down again.

"Baby... Not everybody wants to hurt us. There are still good people, and Kelly might be one; I believe Kelly has nothing to do with what happened to Brian and if Brian trusted her, he surely had good reasons, he was very cautious in this regard. And if Kelly isn't a good person and if this is a trap, we still have each other and we'll find a way to leave this place safe and sound. Believe me, baby." Darren whispered, looking into your eyes before kissing your temple as you just nodded.

"Yes, and what matters is that we're trying to end what Brian started. We're trying and we can do it." Jen commented in a whisper, with a faint, crooked smile.

"Yes, you're right, guys." You replied with choked voice. "We gotta protect each other now." You added, looking at them both who grinned and nodded.

"Always protect each other and suspect everything and everyone." Suddenly Sincere commented, turning his face to look at you. You all looked at him stunned because he got to hear you. "Kelly always says that nothing is what it seems; and once I heard someone telling Kelly that the key to protect your loved ones from Wade's game is if you suspect everything and everyone... That someone was your friend Brian. He was a nice dude." He said with a sad smile as you looked at him perplexed, tears pricking your eyes.

"You met him?" You asked with shaky voice.

You completely forgot that he was a stranger and a suspicious person because it was still weird for you to find out new things about Brian that you didn't know before; and you wanted to know more about it.

"Yes, I had the pleasure to have met him. Kelly and Brian used to meet in this same building. I live on the streets and I remember one cold, snowy day... I was freezing and I had no coat... He just walked over and gave me his pullover... This one." He said, unzipping his black jacket to show you the red pullover that belonged to Brian and you thought it went missing. "Ever since, I took the role to protect them from unwanted visitors, if you know what I mean... As a way to show him my gratitude." He said with his gaze lost, nodding slowly. "I was mad when I found out what Wade did to him. And I swore I'd revenge; therefore, I joined Kelly's team because I didn't know you in person, though he mentioned you very often, particularly you... Sunny, right?" He asked, looking fixedly at you as your vision became blurred because of the tears.

"Right." You tried to utter with your strangled voice.

That was the first time someone called you Sunny ever since Brian passed away. And it felt weird, and sad, and so far away like a very distant memory of something that happened long time ago. You had to look down and bit your quivering lips in order not to cry. Darren squeezed your hand and Jen rested her head on your shoulder to comfort you. How come this Sincere guy knew about Brian? He had his pullover, he knew about the 'Sunny' nickname... That meant that Brian indeed knew him and perhaps Darren was right: Not everybody wanted to hurt you and there were still good people; maybe Kelly and Sincere were good people.

"He loved you. He loved all of his friends. And I can no longer show him my gratitude, but now that I know you, I can show my gratitude to you, by helping you to give Wade his due. But I'm a stranger for you; so, as Brian would have said, suspect everything and everyone who aren't your real friends. Follow that advice." He said before continuing walking.

That was the moment when your bad gut feeling ceased. If Brian trusted Sincere and Kelly, it was because of a good reason as Darren said; you didn't trust them, but you trusted Brian. That was when you understood what Darren understood before all of you. Darren, Jen and you exchanged looks and nodded before following Sincere to a door that he knocked. After a while, a girl with long red hair opened the door and looked all around before stepping aside with a faint smile to let you in without uttering a single word; then Kelly closed the door with keys and swing bar door guard. What made you feel very suspicious was when inside the small and dim room were not only Kelly and her boyfriend, but also other people you didn't know. As you were concerned, you, Darren and Jen were going to meet only Kelly and her boyfriend as a matter of prudence and caution; but three other couples were there. You began to feel this was a trap again when those couples looked at the three of you in a weird way, as if scanning you, until Sincere stepped in front of you and looked at each one of them in a very severe way and said something.

"If you have a problem with them, you will have a problem with me. Is that clear?" He said, crossing his arms and looking fiercely at one guy who attempted to walk towards you.

"Sincere, they won't hurt them. I already explained them who they are." Kelly said softly and Sincere nodded but remained alert. "Guys, have a seat."

"You told me we were going to be alone, Kelly. Who are these?" Darren asked suspiciously. "What the fuck is this all about, eh?"

"I can explain..." She responded, but Darren interrupted her.

"No, this ain't a fucking joke. You told me something and you didn't keep your word. What would guarantee me now that this whole conversation will be safe with you? It wasn't that hard, Kelly. You just had to keep your word with something as simple as it was our agreement to meet alone." Darren said upset and you looked at him, and then at Kelly. Darren had a point.

"If you'd just let me explain, Darren." Kelly insisted tranquilly.

"I don't care about the explanation. I don't care if this whole shit is with good or bad intentions. After all that has happened to us, all I care about is trust people who know their codes and who are able to do exactly what was agreed. And you just proved you aren't able to do it." Darren responded very severely, puckering his brows. Kelly looked down and let out a long sigh. "I will not make plans with someone like you, Kelly. I'm sorry, but we ain't risking anything. Last time we trusted someone, one of our best friends ended up..." He started saying until his voice choked as Jen and you looked down. He took a deep breath and finished the sentence. "Dead." His voice sounded muffled. "It was a bad idea coming here. Let's get the fuck outta here, girls." He said, taking your hand and also Jen's.

"No, wait!" Kelly exclaimed quickly, attempting to walk towards Darren, but Sincere stepped in between.

"The guy is right, Kelly. You should have kept your word." Sincere said and Kelly looked at him incredulous. "You know I'm helping you with all of this only because of their friend Brian. And now that he is dead, my duty is with his friends, not with you." He clarified and you looked at him astonished. Then he looked at the three of you. "If your decision is to leave, I'll escort you to the exit, so you can return safe and sound. And if any of you..." He said, looking at the rest. "Dare to do something stupid like hurting them, you'll have to face me."

"Sincere, you know me. You know this isn't something bad and that I will never hurt them." Kelly frowned, looking fixedly at him, still incredulous.

"Yes, I know that. But I already said it, you should have kept your word because they don't know you as much as I do and betraying your agreement is the first warning for them not to trust you. They've suffered a lot for trusting the wrong person and you knew that." Sincere answered and you raised your eyebrows in surprise. It was as if this guy could read your mind.

"You're right." Kelly sighed and bit her lips, shaking her head.

"Let's go, guys. I'll accompany you." Sincere said, walking to the door.

"No." You suddenly spoke and Darren and Jen looked at you abruptly, but you were looking straight into Kelly's eyes. "I can't trust you because of what Darren and Sincere have already said and you must know that we won't make plans with you. However, I want to hear your explanation before leaving." You said very serious. "Who are these people and why are they here if you told us that we were going to meet only you and your boyfriend?" You asked, trying to remain expressionless.

"All of us..." One guy of one of the couples started saying with wobbly voice, but you shot him a withering look.

"I did not ask you." You said coldly and the guy looked down and nodded. "Kelly?" You asked again. Kelly, who was looking sadly at that guy, turned her gaze to you.

"These people are people who have been bullied by my twin, remember I told you there were more people?" She asked and you just nodded. "They are working with us. They are part of our team now, that's why they're here, because we share the same purpose... To get back at Wade for all he has done."

"And why haven't you told us that more people would be here?" You asked, crossing your arms.

"Well, for starters... I never told Darren that you'd meet just me and my boyfriend. I said that we would meet to talk about Wade and plan something against him." Kelly responded, looking at Darren who was even more upset.

"It was implicit all along, Kelly. Do not try to make me look like I'm the one who misunderstood everything. You should've been more specific." Darren replied in a challenging way.

"I'm not trying to make you look like the one who misunderstands everything. But you gotta admit that I never told you that just my boyfriend and I would be here. We are a team, just as you have your own team. And a team works together; they had to be here." Kelly answered and Darren clenched his jaw.

"Right... You're allowed to have your whole team here, but you wouldn't allow us to bring all the members of our team. Is that what you're trying to say explicitly?" Darren asked madly and you looked fixedly into Kelly's eyes, also awaiting her response; but she just looked away. "Because that's highly unfair. That's not a good start if what you want is to join both of our teams to work together. Because it makes this whole thing look as though you have more rights than we have and as though from now on you'd be like the leader team and we'd be just people who would be there only to help you achieve your goals, without taking into consideration our opinions, our problems, our thoughts, our fucking everything." Darren almost yelled furiously.

"That isn't what I'm thinking!" Kelly answered back, starting to get mad. "It never crossed my mind that this would be a competition of teams or that there would be a leader team. That's ridiculous! I think it's not clear for you what it means to join two teams by a common goal. It involves equality." She added upset as Darren roared.

"Do not treat me like a goddamn fool!" Darren screamed and you took his hand and looked into his eyes to try to calm him. When he looked at you, he let out a sigh and bit his lips strongly to regain his temper.

"Let me talk, Darebear." You whispered before kissing his cheek as he nodded. "I want you to explain me why you didn't want us to bring Joey and Mandy if you have your whole team here." You demanded strictly.

"Because it was risky." She responded with a sigh.

"Oh, fuck it! Spare us the shit, Kelly!" Darren howled, and you squeezed his hand to remind him that he shouldn't lose his temper.

"Don't tell us that it's because it was risky; because if that had been the reason, you wouldn't have brought your whole team." You said and Kelly looked desperately at his boyfriend, as if looking for help.

"It was my fault." Kelly's boyfriend finally spoke with gruff voice. "The original plan was that only you would meet us, not Darren and Jennifer; but Kelly convinced me that Darren and Jennifer had to come because she had a phone conversation with Darren and she promised him so. At last, I agreed." He explained as all of you were looking intently at him. "The idea was that the three of you would meet just me and Kelly. But at the last minute we thought that it would be a good idea if you could get to know each one of the members of our team so that you could get to know who else is involved in this and why, so that you could get to know everything and that way work better, with no lies and no secrets. And just because this was something planned at last minute, we didn't get the chance to let you know so. I apologize, we never thought you'd take this like we betrayed you; if we had known so, we wouldn't have brought them here." He explained tranquilly. "It'd have been great to join our teams, but you're in all your right if you consider that the best option is not to do it because we didn't keep our word. Actually, it's something wise to do if you take into consideration that Wade is good at deceptions and this could be a trap; it means you won't be fooled by him again, which is good for you, guys. So, I can't judge your decision."

"Fred!" Kelly exclaimed troubled, as though she couldn't believe he said that. "We need them." She whispered.

"Yes, we do. But we made a mistake and we can't judge them for wanting to leave. If we were in their situation, we would do the same than them. We'll find another way, Kelly." He responded, also in a whisper, but you totally heard them.

"Why do you need us, eh?" Jen finally spoke and both Fred and Kelly looked at her.

"There are several reasons. And... they are long stories." Kelly answered, looking mildly at Jen.

"And you don't want to tell us. Am I getting it wrong?" You asked, crossing your arms over your chest.

"No... I mean, well, yes. It's not because I don't want to tell you. It's because it's a really long story and it might possibly make you feel dizzy." She responded softly.

"Why would it make us feel dizzy? Be more specific." Darren demanded impatiently.

"You... You have a wrong idea of why Wade is doing what he's doing." Kelly almost whispered.

"What? Would you deny that he's a fucking psycho and he's threatening us because of that and also because we're investigating him?" Darren asked with a bitter chuckle.

"No. I'm not gonna deny it. But... The reason why the threats originally started; they are different from what you think." Kelly answered, looking down. "And I'm not talking about the threats that started the first semester of college; I'm talking about when you received the very first threat, back when you were in high school." She added and you narrowed your eyes.

"What do you exactly mean?" Jen asked slowly, also narrowing her eyes.

"It's a really long story." Kelly repeated.

"I don't care if it's a long story. We want to know. Besides, you said that if we join our teams there will be no lies and secrets, so we must know. I'm not trying to say that we will effectively join, but it'll be a starter to consider it." You replied determined, looking deeply into Kelly's eyes.

"You will feel dizzy..." She warned.

"Oh, please!" You exclaimed bitterly, raising your eyebrows. "Our best friend died because of Wade... Do you think something else can affect us more than that? We can take it, so bring it on." You said in a bossy way. Kelly looked up in a sad way, then she looked at her boyfriend who nodded.

"Okay. I will tell you." She finally said, sitting on one chair. "You'd want to sit down." She suggested and this time the three of you sat down, next to each other, looking intently at Kelly. "Have you ever wondered why in the first semester of college Wade started threatening only Brian and why Brian was the only person who could slightly manipulate him?" Kelly asked and you remained silent.

"Because I requested Brian to start investigating certain thing about Wade. And because Wade kind of respected Brian because he was a good adversary." You finally responded.

"Well, that's not the whole truth." Kelly let out a long sigh. "Think about high school. You were the first one who started receiving the threats, right? And then Darren and Jen started receiving threats because they became your friends, right?" She asked and you nodded, looking suspiciously at her. "You always thought that the reason was always you. That Wade loathed you because you were a loser and pathetic because you were in love with a guy who didn't even know about your existence and he never believed in love. And that's why everything started. That Brian was threatened to treat you bad because he was a guy who was in love with a girl who didn't know about his existence. That Jen was threatened because she loved you, and that Darren was threatened because he fell in love with you; therefore, Wade was completely mad. Is that what you think?" She asked and you puckered your brows.

"Yes, that's what I think. It's what Brian told us, because he knew the truth." You responded.

"Well, it's not like that." She said, her voice echoing in the silent room.

"Are you trying to say that Brian lied to us?" You questioned, raising an eyebrow in a provocative way.

"Not at all." She shook her head. "He told you the truth... Well, what he thought it was the truth by then." She clarified. "When Brian's sentence at death was undone, he and I met a few times to work about Wade and how to imprison him. Brian was broken and very depressed, but he never stopped caring about you, guys; he wanted to do it to protect you and to provide you a peaceful life without Wade on the way." She said and you looked down, making a big effort not to feel sad right in this moment. "We continued investigating him and we found out the real truth. That's why Brian could manipulate Wade the last time you met in person, the same day Brian, sadly, passed away." She looked down and gulped, as though she was sad because of this. "We figured out that nothing is what it seems and that's the way Wade has been playing all this time." She said and made a dramatic pause. "We found out that you, Freckles, were never the reason why Wade started doing his macabre game. The real person Wade wanted to attack, it's always been Brian, since the very beginning. You were included in his game just because Brian was in love with you; and Darren, Amanda and Jennifer because they were related to the person Brian loved." She said bluntly and you dropped your jaw and scowled in confusion and astonishment.

"What?" Your throaty voice echoed in the room.

"It makes no sense." Jen also commented with wobbly voice, also confused.

"That's absurd, Kelly." Darren commented.

"Kelly, what the hell are you trying to say?" You asked before Darren and Kelly could start arguing.

"Well... As you already know, Wade could never stand seeing good people and he could never stand seeing people showing love, because of our past and because of his schizophrenia and psychosis; and that is why he always focused on destroying good people and people who loved and were loved. And the first person he hurt was me, destroying my relationship with my boyfriend. He liked the feeling that caused him doing this, so he decided to start doing it to other people. He never succeed. But then, when he was transferred to St. Ignatius College Preparatory, he met Brian. By then, they were sophomores." Kelly started explaining, very slowly so that you could follow her along. "Wade began to be interested in Brian when he noticed Brian was a shy and lonely guy and no one ever noticed him, even if he tried to talk to people. Therefore, Wade started investigating Brian in silence. He started following him from school to his house, and became more interested when he found out that Brian lived in the skid row of San Francisco, in a small apartment in an old and dilapidated building. He continued following him until he got to know he lived only with his dad who had a disease. Later on, he started prying into his private life and found out his mother abandoned him and she recently died of drug overdose. He related Brian's life to his own life; you know my dad had a problem with alcohol and my mom was drug addict. Brian's life was crappy, just as Wade's life has always been. Both of them were long-suffered guys. The reason why Wade wanted to attack Brian was because he couldn't understand why if he was suffering that much and had a crappy life, he was a kind, grateful and softhearted guy if he should be like Wade was, a guy who was all the time trying to revenge for all the bad people had done to him and how bad life had treated him. He could not stand that." Kelly explained as you all were listening to her very intently. You couldn't fully trust what she was saying, even if it made sense so far. "Nonetheless, he did nothing to him. He thought that maybe he should not hurt Brian because he was hurting himself by self-harming." She said and that was the moment when you started giving importance to what she was saying because nobody except you and Jen knew about Brian and his self-harming.

"What?" Darren asked bewildered. "Brian... used to self-harm?" He asked and Kelly nodded, then he looked at you. "You knew about this, baby?"

"Yes. So did Jen." You responded and he puckered his brows.

"Why have you never told me?" He asked kind of offended.

"I'm sorry. It was Brian's secret. He didn't want people to know about it." You responded and he nodded and looked away, but he was still offended.

"Keep telling, Kelly." Darren demanded curtly.

"Okay, as I was saying, Wade decided not to do anything to Brian... Until you appeared, Freckles." She said looking at you. You parted your lips and gulped when you felt everybody's gazes directed at you. "Wade was there when you asked Brian if a seat was empty and Brian looked at you mesmerized. And Wade observed all the process when Brian wouldn't stop staring you and wouldn't stop trying to get closer to you to talk and how every time he tried to do it, he failed because you wouldn't notice him." She said and you looked down to play with your fingers, feeling a pain in the chest. "He thought this was pathetic and he started developing a sort of hatred towards Brian, because even though they had something in common, they were very different. I think it's because Wade was mad due to the fact that he was never able to see the bright side of his crappy life as Brian used to do; but that's just a personal appreciation." She commented as though she was thoughtful. "Now, back to the facts. Brian was accepted in the football team as the quarterback and Wade decided to join to be near Brian and plan something to ruin his life and make him see that good never wins and it's something fake. Wade managed to be the captain of the football team, despite the fact that Brian was the quarterback. With that simple thing he started his plan to ruin all of Brian's dreams."

You frowned because you remembered that Brian always wanted to be the captain of the football team to be important at least on one thing; you never knew that Jim was the one who made sure not to allow this happen. This story was making so much sense, but you refused to believe it.

"Now that Brian was the quarterback, in his Junior year, people started talking to him for the first time because they thought he would be popular. This made Wade angry, because Brian's life was changing and now it didn't suck so much. When Susan appeared and Brian and she started dating, Wade went mad. As a way to revenge, Wade started dating your sister Amanda, as a way to make Brian remember that he'd never be able to date someone because he was in love with you. It worked and Brian and Susan broke up, people who started talking to him drifted away, and Brian's crappy life returned." She said, making a pause to bit her lips and look down in a sad way. "What Wade never expected, though, was that one day he would get into trouble. It happened in his first attempt to physically attack Brian and it took place in the locker room of the football team. Wade had brought a knife and he was ready to attack Brian. He was waiting for him, his knife in hands, when other teammates entered and saw him. I must clarify that the teammates never liked Wade, so when they saw that he was with a knife in a position to attack, they started beating him up. And Brian arrived and stood up for Wade, getting in between them to defend and protect Wade from the other teammates. Brian received all the blows for Wade until the teammates left and Brian asked Wade if he was alright; Brian even helped Wade to stand up and heal the few cuts he had, he even took Wade to the school nurse, and he even asked Wade how he was doing after days of the accident. It was when Brian did this for him, when Brian gained Wade's respect. Wade is a psycho, but he has certain codes; that's why Brian could manipulate him, because he respects him and he never forgot that Brian was the only one who helped him out when he needed."

You pursed your lips and scowled, feeling upset. You couldn't believe Jim had codes, that was absurd and a total lie. If he had had codes, he would never have killed Brian. You honestly didn't know if you should believe what Kelly was telling or not; and same was happening with Jen and Darren.

"Ever since, everything changed. He continued harassing Brian but with unimportant things. He continued observing how Brian stared you all the time, wishing you to notice him. That was when Wade decided to investigate you and found out that you were secretly in love with Darren. Oddly enough, he felt upset because you wanted Darren instead of Brian who was after you. As I said, Wade developed some sort of respect and esteem towards Brian." She said and you started feeling very confused. How come Kelly knew all of this? "Thus, by the beginning of their Senior year, Wade had already set his whole plan that you know pretty well. The macabre game of W." She stated, her voice echoing in the silent room. "Wade wanted to destroy Brian for being so good, for believing in love, and for being a pathetic guy who was in love with a girl who didn't notice him; and he wanted to get back at you for being a pathetic girl who was in love with a guy who didn't notice you. He came up with this plan of killing two birds with one stone. The first action he took was to threaten Brian of killing you and his dad if he didn't do what Wade wanted. Then the threats started happening to all the people who were related to Brian. He threatened Susan, Brian's ex-girlfriend. He threatened Amanda, who was your sister, therefore, related to Brian. He threatened Karen, who was Darren's ex-girlfriend, the guy you were in love with, therefore, related to Brian. He managed to make Peter and Alexandra join his team, who were your friends, therefore, related to Brian. When Jen and Darren became your friends, he started threatening them as well. The whole plan of Jim threatening you was to make Brian suffer by making him see how the person he loved was suffering, how he was destroying her life, and how he couldn't do anything at all for being so good. After prison, Brian was depressed, but haven't you wondered why the last days of his life he was getting worse and worse?" She asked, looking intently at you, as you looked at her clueless, your mind spinning because she was right, Brian just got worse and worse in his last days for no apparent reason. "It was because Brian found out that you were never Wade's problem, that the problem was always him and that you've suffered because of his fault. Brian understood that all of your bad experiences in high school were caused by him for being in love with you; because if he had never loved you, you would have never received those threats. And he couldn't forgive himself for making you suffer."

You closed your eyes and propped your head in your hand, feeling very dizzy and anguished. Each time it was getting harder not to think this was a complete lie, because everything was making sense and unclear things were getting clear. And if this was the truth, you'd hate yourself for causing that Brian's last feeling was guiltiness for all the bad that happened to you. When you felt Jen's hand on your knee and Darren's arm enfolding around you, a small tear escaped the corner of your eye. By the time you looked up at Kelly again, you already wiped the tear away.

"That's not right." You whispered, your voice sounding strangled due to the lump in throat.

"I know... But Brian was always a special person; he always thought he was the one to blame for all the bad things." Kelly gave you a sad smile. "Nevertheless, Fred tried to convince him that nothing was his fault, that it was all Wade's fault, as it actually is. At the end, Fred managed to make Brian understand that it wasn't his fault because nobody gets to choose who to fall in love with and love is never the reason for the bad things that come to happen; if anything, love is the reason that saves someone and gives us the strength to fight for a good cause." She said softly and you turned your gaze to Fred, who was looking fixedly at you, in a distressed way.

"Thanks." You managed to utter with a faint grin.

He nodded as a response before you rested your head on Darren's shoulder, trying hard not to cry in front of all those strangers. Darren kissed the top of your head and held you tightly to comfort you and you felt very lucky that you had him.

"Anyways, when you started dating Darren things got worse for you." Kelly continued saying. "That was because Brian attempted to step aside and let you be happy with Darren and because you proved him that even lonely people like you and him were able to be loved back; and Wade hated that, so he worsened everything to prove Brian that good people and people who loved would never stop hurting and would always be miserable." She said and you puckered your brows, sensing how everything was connecting. "Then comes the part when Wade forced you to pretend that you were W, only to make Brian witness how your happiness with Darren slipped away and you returned to be miserable, the same destiny Brian would have. What Wade never expected was that you would start dating Darren again and regain your happiness. Here comes the part when Wade applied the same tactic he applied with me and Fred; he forced Darren to disappear from your life, making you feel devastated again." She explained and both Darren and you bit your lips, as Darren tightened the hold. "That was the last thing Wade managed to do before running away to hide, because the Nashville police found out that Wade's new identity was Jim Adams; so he had to pretend his death and obtain a new identity. And Wade stayed out the map for a long time, until he found out that Brian was investigating him. He also found out that in the last year he was out, Brian and you became best friends, something that definitely wasn't in his plans. That was his incentive to start harassing Brian to destroy him; now worse than before because Brian was putting at risk his freedom. Then happened all that you already know." Kelly finished saying and you looked at her with parted lips.

That version of the facts of your past had so much sense and was very coherent; but you couldn't be sure. How come she knew it was indeed like that? What if she was just lying because she wanted and needed your help and this was the only way to convince you? Jen was the one who asked what you wanted to ask but didn't know how.

"How do you know that Wade's goal was always to attack Brian?" Jen narrowed her eyes in suspicion. "I mean, nobody could possibly know that Wade thought all of that; because you related this whole story including Wade's thoughts and feelings and nobody knew him by then. I don't wanna treat you like a liar and much less to offend you, but you must understand this is hard for me to believe because it's weird."

"I'm not offended at all and you're so wise to suspect this version of how things are in fact. If I were you, I wouldn't trust someone who tells me all of this in a conversation; I'd like to see evidence. And you must see this evidence." Kelly said and you nodded. She walked to a table and took something before walking to where the three of you were. She handed you a notebook. "This is Wade's journal. I stole it two months ago, when I saw him again. This is the reason why he started threatening me again; he is almost sure that I had been helping Brian and I'm continuing what he started and couldn't finish. Take all the time you need to check it."

Darren, Jen and you started reading the journal right away, the three of you in complete silence. Everything that Kelly said was written down in that journal; she missed saying a few things but that didn't change what she told you. Although it was tangible evidence, you still couldn't fully believe the story because you didn't even know how Jim's handwriting looked like, so this could either be Jim's handwriting or someone else's. You returned the journal and Kelly looked at you expectant to know what you were thinking.

"I'm sorry." You said, interrupting the silence. "I can't believe it yet. How would I know that Wade himself wrote this? And I'm sorry for suspecting, but this whole story could perfectly be a complete lie to convince us to help you." You said bluntly.

"Yes, sorry, Kelly, but I agree. The only people we trust are our immediate circle of friends. I would fully believe something if someone who is my friend tells me so." Darren stated and Jen just nodded.

"We all saw this coming." Fred suddenly said and you all looked at him. "Brian told us that if something bad happened to him, you wouldn't believe us; thus, he decided to do something." He added and then looked at Kelly. "Kelly, I think you should show them the video."

"Yes." Kelly let out a long sigh. "I don't think they're ready to see it, Fred... They didn't even get the chance to grieve their friend yet." She whispered; but then again you heard her.

"They must see it, Kelly. And now it's the time." Fred whispered.

"What video?" You asked eagerly. Kelly just looked at you hesitantly. "I want to see that video... I demand to see that video right now." You said, this time in a bossy way.

"Freckles..." Kelly said, her voice denoting distress.

"No, just show me the video right now." You ordered.

"Okay." She sighed, walking to the table again, then walking to the TV in front of you. "Guys..." Kelly whispered troubled when she turned around to look at you. "You need to know that in this video you'll see Brian. So, be ready." She said and you gulped.

When Kelly pressed play for the video, your heart skipped a beat and then started pounding out of your chest, making you feel as though it wanted to get off your chest as your body began to tremble. Through your teary eyes, you saw Brian's face, his green eyes looking directly at the camera, so it seemed he was looking at you. In that moment you could understand how Darren felt when he unexpectedly saw Brian's video for him on his birthday and why he took it in a bad way; it was hard to see your best friend, aware that you'll never be able to enjoy his presence in person again.

"Hi, Sunny."

You heard Brian's voice, speaking with absolute clarity with his deep voice. Hearing Brian's voice again and hearing him saying "Sunny", was all you needed to burst into tears and feel your heart in its process of breaking, slowly and painfully.

"If you're watching this video is because I'm... dead."

His voice lowered as he pronounced the last word and you made a big effort to hold back a wail as Darren wrapped an arm around you and kissed your temple; however, you could feel his hand trembling on your arm. Brian's green eyes were looking straight into yours, and you pictured he was sitting in front of you, having one of those typical conversations you used to have.

"If that is the case, there's something you must know and I wish I could have had the chance to tell you this in person as it should have been. First of all, I wanna apologize, because if I'm dead and you're watching this, it means I couldn't finish what I started and all the responsibility has fallen to you. I'm so sorry for putting you into this tough situation and I wish I could be there to make it lighter, so that you could be enjoying your life instead of worrying about things that aren't your responsibility. You ought to keep in mind that it falls to you whether you want to continue what I started or not; you must not feel forced and not let anybody force you, by any means. You're free to choose, Sunny. I'd support whatever decision you decide to make, because I know it'd be the right one. So, if you decide to continue what I started, there are things you must know if you want to success; if not, you deserve to know the truth about Jim and all of us, because, sadly, it is part of your life. I'll try to be as clear and meticulous as possible and I'll try to tell you everything thoroughly, because there won't be a chance for you to ask me something you couldn't get or that I didn't effectively explain. So... Neither of us realized to begin with that Jim's threats have never had to do with you and they've always had to do with me. Jim's problem has always been with me, and you started being threatened because of my fault..."

Like this, Brian started explaining all that Kelly said, only that this time you were hearing it from Brian's mouth. He mentioned about Jim's journal and he even showed it on the video. He explained why Jim's problem has always been him, and he said it the same way Kelly did; only that he wouldn't stop apologizing and blaming on himself. What you were thinking was completely opposite to what you were feeling out of this. In the first place, you were thinking that it was very unfair and disappointing that Brian didn't tell you this in person when he was still alive, because he had the chance to do it, because by then he was already living in your dorm room. Then you were thinking that your life in high school wouldn't have sucked so much if Brian hadn't been in love with you, if he hadn't wanted to get closer to you, if he hadn't known you; if it hadn't been because of Brian, the threats and bullying would have never happened and you'd have never had so many awful experiences and memories, you'd have never suffered so much, you'd have had a moderately good high school experience. You were thinking that the cause of your suffering due to Jim's bullying – and all of the physical and emotional troubles that came along with it – was entirely Brian's fault. But you were feeling humiliated and frustrated because it never crossed your mind that Brian was the person Jim wanted to attack all along. You were feeling distressed because you could tell Brian was really remorseful and afflicted for finding out that because of him you were bullied. You were feeling terrible because Brian passed away when he was still feeling so contrite about this. You were feeling heartbroken because Brian was no longer here and you couldn't even hug him. And you were feeling grief-stricken because you couldn't let him know that it didn't matter the fact that because of him you were bullied, that you loved him no matter what, that just as he stood for you when you all thought you were the problem, you would stand for him now that you all knew he was the problem. And there you found your answer to the choice you had to make: You were going to continue what Brian started. But you were aware that it shouldn't be your decision only; Darren, Jen, Mandy, Joey, and even Chuck and Lucy had the right to make the decision as well. But oddly enough, Kelly – and now Brian – were making implicit that only you could make the decision and you couldn't understand why. Until Brian explained something.

"Thus, this is very important for you to acknowledge, Sunny. Formerly, every threat was directed to me. Now, assuming that I'm dead and if Jim is still harassing you, it's because it wasn't enough for him to cause my death. This means that now Jim considers you as my replacement, because you are my best friend and the person who is alive that I care most about. And if this happens, I'm very sorry, Sunny. I wish I could help you figure out why Jim isn't satisfied with killing me that he feels the need to bully you; I wish I could have the answer to exactly why he is threatening you, so that you'd know how to defend yourself and how to deal with him. But if you happen to be in the situation in which you have to defend yourself, I've got some advices for you that can help you, based on my own experiences and mistakes. First of all, you don't have to do this alone. Don't make my same mistake. Do not ever think that you're able to cope with everything by your own, because you'll need help and asking for help isn't something to be ashamed of, I've been taught that. Listen to Jen if you need any advice, she knows how to do it and she can help you as much as she has helped me. You won't regret to be open to her, she's a great person..."

When Brian said this, you glanced at Jen and you noticed she was shedding silent tears, with a faint yet pained smile crossing her lips. You placed a hand on her knee and squeezed it softly, giving her a friendly smile.

"Whenever you're feeling stressed out or sad, talk to Joey. He will know how to cheer you up and, although he's not aware of it, he always has wise words to say that he will disguise under jokes. If you need reassurance, run to your sister Mandy. It may seem weird and absurd to believe, but she's really good when it comes to reassure someone. She has her own unconventional way to do it, and she'll never admit that she's reassuring and comforting you; but her way is pretty effective. She loves you more than anyone in this world, Sunny; even if she wouldn't admit it, even if she'd never say so, even if occasionally she insults you and treats you bad; she just doesn't know she's a good and caring person and it's very hard for her to express her feelings, but that doesn't mean that the feeling is there, deep down inside her. When you need to say something but you can't talk about it, look for Darren. He could always figure out what you were feeling and thinking without the need of speaking. Stay always close to Darren, he will protect you because he really loves you; he'll guide you, he's very good when it comes to planning strategies; he'll always be very loyal, because no matter what, he'll stick to his friends. Once in a while, he will also reproach you; don't get mad at him if he does so, think that he's reproaching you because he cares about you and he simply wants to make you see that what you're doing is wrong and it can hurt you. He always did it to me and he's helped me greatly. Keep him close, he's one of the best friends someone can have..."

This time you glanced at Darren. He was looking steadily at Brian's face on the TV, biting his lips strongly in order not to let escape the tears that formed in the corner of his hazel eyes. You knew that Darren still didn't know if Brian ever got to know that he really cared about him, and with this that he said, now Darren knew, so he was surely feeling moved. Therefore, you leaned in to kiss his cheek and rest your head on his shoulder; then you felt one of his tears hitting your temple.

"Sunny, never get away from your friends in order to protect them, it doesn't matter if Jim threatens you to hurt them; don't make my same mistake; I beg you, Sunny. It took me a long time to realize that if you stay close to them, you'll protect each other and you'll achieve more things together than if you do it alone. Trust only your friends, I'm talking about Darren, Jen, Mandy, Joey, Chuck and Lucy. But you might also need external help. You can trust Kelly and her boyfriend. I know you don't know them and you'd have your own suspicions and doubts, but we've been helping each other all this time and they're good people. If you can't trust them, trust me. I'm telling you they will help you, and you know there's nothing I'd do to hurt you intentionally or to put you at risk. They will also need your help; before they needed me because I was the only one who was receiving threats and all other threats to other people were related to me. Now, if Jim doesn't give up, you'll be the one receiving the threats and other people will receive threats in order to hurt you, hurting them at the same time. There are other three couples Jim hurt because they were related to me, hopefully Kelly would introduce them to you, and if not, ask her to introduce them to you; they are willing to help. You see, just as I was the key for Jim's game, you'll be the key now; that's why they need you, because they will get to Jim through you, because you'll be like the mediator as I was. But remember, you've got the choice in your hands whether you want to continue what I started or not, Sunny."

When Brian said this, you looked at Kelly, who was looking down with a sad facial expression, then you looked at the three couples, one by one. When they looked intently at you, you felt a huge pressure. They knew they couldn't force you to help them, but by looking at them, you noticed they were desperate for your help, they needed it. And you couldn't deal with this.

"There's someone else you'll probably meet. People call him Sincere. You can trust him. I've talked to him about you, and he promised he'll protect you if I can no longer be there for you. He's a loyal man, so I know he will keep his word."

You looked at Sincere and he smiled at you and bowed his head, placing a hand on his chest. You grinned and nodded as a way to show him your gratitude, after you realized that he indeed was keeping his word, and he showed it when Darren faced Kelly and he sided with you.

"That's it all about the people you can trust and people who can help you and you can help. Now, I wanna talk about Jim. Unfortunately, after I found out how things have always been, I haven't had the time to think about a plan, or to think what Jim's moves may come to be. What I know is that nothing is what it seems, and I have the feeling this is the way he plays, same reason why he's always ahead of us. Jim likes playing with deceptions. Therefore, never take to heart what Jim says; try to decipher tacit and indirect intentions behind his threats. You'll have to play as the character of one of your favorite books; be the Sherlock Holmes of your own life in which Jim is Professor James Moriarty, Sunny. But seriously, think about it, Sunny! Moriarty is a criminal mastermind, archenemy of Sherlock Holmes; just as Jim is for you. Jim is like the greatest schemer of all time, the organizer of every deviltry, the controlling brain of the life of certain people, a brain which might have made or marred the destiny of each of us; just as Moriarty is and did. Also, Jim has a fiery temper and a vengeful streak, pursuing people to kill them for destabilizing his plans; just as Moriarty pursued Sherlock. Remember that even though both Sherlock and Moriarty fell off the Reichenbach Falls, Sherlock lived, he just faked his death. So... See, Sunny? You can be the Sherlock you admire so much. Don't you love detective mystery novels? Well, your own life can be a detective mystery novel! The best part? You can write your very own ending."

Brian tried to joke. You got to hear the sound of his hearty laugh, his teeth shining bright when he gave you a cheesy smile and winked at you. Instead of laughing, you shed few tears. Although it was very nice to hear his laugh when you thought you'd never get to hear it again, it was very hurtful, because he wasn't there for real. What was thrilling for you was to hear him mentioning about Sherlock, remembering something silly but that had importance to you; it was something you didn't expect. Brian really knew you.

"Now, I know a way you can stop Jim from attacking you. You ought to earn his respect. You gotta do something that will astound him, that way you'll earn his respect. Find his weakness; I'm pretty sure it's when somebody does something for him when he less expect from the person he less expects. Given the opportunity, help him out with something; you'll earn his respect and he'll consider you as a worthy adversary. At least, that's the way I earned his respect. Back to the Sherlock comparison, Moriarty had full respect for Sherlock's intellect; and for Moriarty it's always been an intellectual treat to grapple with Sherlock. It can happen in your own story of your life, Sunny; I know you can manage to get it, you've got all the qualities and skills. I believe in you."

Brian said with soft voice, looking fondly at you – actually the camera – with a tender smile. You didn't want to disappoint Brian, but you knew you couldn't be Sherlock, because in fact Brian was the Sherlock for Jim's Moriarty. Because if you had to make a comparison, Jim always vowed that Brian was facing inevitable destruction if he continued to meddle in his plans; just as Moriarty vowed Sherlock. Jim had full respect for Brian's intellect and said that it had been an intellectual treat to grapple with him but was also completely willing to kill Brian, showing a ruthless side. And Jim did kill Brian as Moriarty killed Sherlock. But... Moriarty also died and Sherlock faked his own death; what if Brian just faked his own death? The fleeting illusion you got quickly dissipated: Jim was still alive and you saw Brian dying, he died in front of you. Then the sudden illusion turned into an awful emotion of affliction that turned into physical tears.

"That's all I had to tell you in regard to Jim and his game, the teams and people you can trust. I hope my advices can be helpful and not too lame. I'd like to have thousands of more advices and a solid plan and secret weapon to give to you; but sadly, that's all I've got. I'm not much of a good detective, but I know you can be the best. Nonetheless, I remind you again that you can decide if you want to do this or not; all I want is you to do what you consider is the best, and always, always be safe. Make me a pinky promise that whatever you decide to do, you won't put your life at stake."

Brian said, holding out his pinky finger; something that made you let out a muffled but sharp giggle that sounded more like a wail. However, you held out your pinky finger. Darren looked at you and grinned softly, yet you could notice the hint of sadness on his face.

"Pinky promise." You whispered with strangled voice. By sheer coincidence, Brian started talking again at the same moment you said that.

"It's a pinky promise now. Alright, now let's put aside this whole topic of Jim and let's talk about something more private..."

Brian said and he let out a sigh. He lowered his gaze and his amused face turned into a distressed one. He remained silent for a while, until he looked up again, giving you a crooked smile.

"Taking into account that if you're watching this video is because I passed away, I wanna tell you something. When I was in prison and I already had the date for my execution, I wrote you a letter. I want you to read it, Sunny; it's in the famous gray box, at the back of my closet. You know I'm not good at saying out loud what I feel, but in the letter I tried to let you know what I feel for you, what you've always meant to me and all I want for you. It's not one of the most elaborated texts I've written, but it's honest, and I wrote it with my heart. You truly are my blanket, Sunny; you'll understand what I mean when you read the letter. Thank you for everything you gave me, you made me be happy. I love you. So much. So very much, Sunny. And I can't keep talking, I'm sorry..."

His voice cracked and he looked away to wipe away one tear that fell down his cheek. He closed his eyes and frowned, as you noticed how his breathing was heavy, as if trying to control his urge to cry. When he managed to do it, he looked at the camera again and smiled sweetly as you were dissolved into a puddle of tears.

"Keep safe the bracelet I gave you, would you?"

He asked with a more cheery smile now. You nodded as if he could see you, completely forgetting that he was just part of a recorded video.

"Now, I have a mission for you. One last favor I'll ask you. I want you tell Chuck thanks for giving me a second chance to show him how I truly am; and tell Lucy thanks for accepting me so easily. Tell Joey that he was a great friend, that I always admired him and his sense of humor, more than he admired me and my intelligence and hotness." Brian joked, laughing out loud; something that made the three of you laugh along with him. "Tell him I was also in love with him; because I always knew that whenever he joked he was in love with me, he actually wanted to say that I was his friend for real and he cared about me. Tell Mandy that she will always be my sister. Tell her that I love her so much, that she has helped me a lot, that she's always been there for me and she's one of the few people who realized how I truly am in a short period of time and I am greatly thankful for that. Tell her that she's an amazing person, and dare to tell her that I say she's a lovely person behind the surface of her bubble of bitchiness; ask her to tell you that story of the bubbles, it's pretty weird but very original. Tell her that she can kick my ass for making her cry and screw her make-up, but that won't change the fact that I love her like my sister and that I've always felt honored to be considered her brother." He said with a smile, his gaze lost, probably thinking about Mandy. "Darren." He said, looking up again. You glanced at Darren and you noticed how he suddenly froze and looked intently at the TV, his lips slightly quivering; he probably wasn't expecting this. "Tell Darren that he's my bro friend. The first one. Tell him that he used to be one of the guys I hated the most, but then he became my best bro friend. Most of the time we were arguing, but I never stopped considering him my bro, and I know I was his bro friend, too. Maybe not the best, not the only one, but that doesn't matter; what matters is that despite our differences, we got to be very good friends. Tell him that he's done a lot of things for me that he's never noticed but I'm very grateful for. Hopefully he'll watch the video I recorded for his birthday and hopefully I will be there for his birthday to tell him in person that I love him. Tell him that he has changed me for the better and he always made me feel like a worthwhile person. Tell him that he's totally awesome, as he'd say it. And ask him: Where have you been all my life? He'll get it." Brian winked and Darren chuckled with his hazel eyes glistening with tears.

"In the cupboard under some stairs." Darren suddenly said with choked voice. "Thank you, bro." He threw a fist in the air.

"And tell Darren to stop taking baby steps and tell him to go for you, Sunny! Damn, you deserve to be together. You'll be happy, I know." Brian smiled and both you and Darren smiled back, holding hands. "Last but not least, Jen." Brian spoke and this time you saw Jen, who held back her breath; her face frozen. "Now, this is very, but very private Sunny. I never told you this... It's because I was just trying to make sense of what I was feeling... But, Jen must know. And you should know it, too. Also, you're free to tell you this to all of our friends, because I'm not ashamed of it. So..." Brian scratched the nape of his neck. He was nervous, and shy. You frowned slightly; you knew him too much, so you had an idea of what he could say, but it was weird. "Tell Jen that I wish I could have spent more time with her, I really enjoyed being with her, our conversations, our hugs, our shared interests. Tell her that she's been one of the most supportive, caring, and amazing people with me and my dad; that all she's done both for me and my dad has no price and I'll be eternally thankful. Tell her that I love every single second we spent together, whether in person or through phone calls. Tell Jen that she took my hand when I needed and she pulled me up when I was sinking and I wish I could give her at least a half of what she has given me. Tell her that she made me believe that my life was worth living despite the bad things, that she made me believe that I was special, not only that, but also she made me feel I was special. And most importantly, Sunny, tell Jen that she is very special to me. Now... here comes the part that is very, but very private..." Brian said with wobbly voice, but with a tender smile and bright eyes. Jen, in the meantime, was already in tears of thrill and she was amazed. "Tell Jen that I love her, and not precisely in the way you love a friend. Tell her that I began to feel something deeper for her. I thought it was impossible for me to feel in love with someone that isn't you, Sunny... But then Jen... I don't know if I'm in love with her, but I think I am. Every time I see her... I feel happy. And when I'm not with her... I miss her. So, I think I am in love; or I'm starting to fall in love. I don't know... I just... You know." Brian started rambling, his gaze lost but keeping the smile on his face. You glanced at Jen and you saw how behind the tears that were filling her eyes, a twinkle shone bright. "Tell her that I wish I could have had the chance to tell her this in person. And also that I'm sorry for feeling this way about her, because maybe she won't like to know it... I mean, I know I'm just a friend to her... And she is also a friend to me, but I feel something else. And yes, tell her that she's beautiful. And special to someone. And that I love her so much. And also... Give her the ring that belonged to my dad, that now belongs to me... But that belongs to her now. I'd like if she keeps it. And there's, uh, a poem I wrote for her. It's in the original copy of the book I wrote. Please, give it to her, Sunny."

After that, Brian remained silent for a while and you took advantage to look at Jen. This was probably one of the things Jen would have loved to hear from Brian, and she did get to know that Brian also had feelings for her; maybe he wasn't in love, but he was infatuated. And it made you feel terribly bad the fact that she would never get the chance to start something with Brian as she wanted. Jim took away from them the chance to start one of what you knew would have been the greatest love stories. You couldn't tell if this made Jen feel bad or good, if she was sad or glad; it was hard to read her face in this moment, when her eyes were saying something completely different from what her facial expression was conveying. You took her hand and when she looked at you, you gave her a faint smile.

"He felt something for me." Jen whispered and such was the smile that crossed her lips that you knew she was thrilled; and glad.

In that moment, you realized why she could smile out of this, if they didn't get the chance to develop their love story. They had no happy ending, but they smiled all the hours they spent together. And for that, it was worth it.

"Sunny… Each of you is special to me and each of you changed deliberately my life, for the better. It's legit for me to say that in spite of all the shitty events of my life, I got to be a happy guy because I had you in my life. Without all of you, I wouldn't have been able to make it in my life. You are my family and I wish you the very best for this life. Now it's time for me to say goodbye, but remember that my dad taught us that farewells aren't the end of something, they're the beginning of something new. So... See you in another life where we will do everything that in this life we didn't get to do together. I love you, baby girl. Bye-bye."

Brian blew you a kiss and smiled fondly for the very last time and you saw a slow and silent tear rolling down his cheek before the video ended. And the hollow you managed to fill with silly things the last days, appeared again to prove you that from now on you'd always be hollow and filling it would always be a delusion you wanted to believe was real. You'd give anything away for one last time you could be in his arms and tell him that you needed him, that you missed him, that you loved him. You couldn't wait for that long to meet him in another life where you'd do all that in this life you didn't get to do.

"So now you know we were telling the truth about Wade and Brian and all things involved." Kelly's boyfriend said.

How dare he to say something like that in this moment? You didn't care about Jim, about the threats, about the investigation and strategic plans, about these people in this room you didn't know; you just wanted to recover what was taken away from all of you: Your original circle of friends, Brian included.

"Fred, be more considerate. This ain't a good moment for them to talk about it." Kelly rebuked him in a whisper. "Guys, I'm so sorry." She said looking at the three of you, her voice sounding smooth and compassionate, her eyes reflecting pity. "I know this was very overwhelming and thrilling to see and hear. I hope you can take it in a positive way, as something special and intimate he left for you. And I think no one has the right to interrupt this moment that only belongs to you and your friend, and nothing is more important than to dedicate this moment to remember him. Therefore, I think this is no longer a right moment to talk about Wade and a plan; this is a moment you should be alone. So, you can go and we can talk later, guys." Kelly said softly.

"What?" Fred suddenly asked alarmed.

"Fred, stop it." She muttered.

"No." Jen suddenly spoke, wiping her tears away. "We're here to talk about Jim. To finish what Brian started." She said and both Darren and you looked at her bewildered, so she looked at you two. "We owe it to him." She whispered, so you wiped your own tears away.

"Yes. We're gonna talk about Jim now." You decided to support Jen, because she was right. In the meantime, Darren looked down without uttering a word.

"So you decide to really finish what Brian started?" Fred asked, looking intently at you. You just nodded as response.

"Freckles... You ought to keep in mind that now that Brian isn't here, you'll be Brian's replacement for Wade; so you're gonna be threatened as much as Brian was threatened, only that you don't have the positive factor Brian had, that was Wade's respect." Kelly said with a concerned facial expression. "Remember that you've got a choice, as Brian said. Are you sure your choice is to do this?"

"I am sure." You responded determined and you saw how Darren pursed his lips and closed his eyes, as if he didn't agree.

"You must be very sure, because there will be no turning back and you'll be putting your life at stake, Freckles." Kelly pointed out with absolute clarity.

"I am very sure." You asserted and Darren shook his head.

"Baby... Don't." He whispered, looking at you with a pair of distressed and worried eyes. "This is not a fucking game where you'll prove your bravery. We're talking about your fucking life, baby. This is too dangerous. Look what happened to Brian, and he had an advantage that you do not even have." He said in despair. "Don't do this, please."

"I will do this, because as long as Jim is free, we'll never be safe. And I'd rather to put my life at risk by doing something to be entirely safe, than to put my life at risk by not doing anything to be safe." You answered, looking deeply into his hazel eyes that were looking into yours in frustration.

"I can't let you do it." He whispered and you gave him a faint smile.

"You must let me do it." You held his hands and he looked down. "We're a team, remember? And we have a purpose that we still haven't achieved. We gotta keep fighting until we get to achieve our purpose."

"Alright, let's do it provided that we work as a team, never you alone." He replied.

"Yes, we'll work as a team. I promise." You grinned gently, brushing his hands with your thumbs. Then you looked at Kelly. "You're wrong, Kelly. I do have the positive factor that Brian had. I've earned Jim's respect. When he kidnapped me, I tricked him and he even admitted it was an admirable good move."

"Yeah, but he doesn't respect you as much as he respected Brian because you haven't done anything good for him. You just provoked him and proved him that you're capable of playing this game with no fear." Kelly clarified and you pursed your lips and looked away, recognizing it was true. "Nonetheless, it is a point in our favor. Actually, thanks to the investigation, the lawyer and the private investigator, and all you managed to do to undo his plans, Wade is aware that he's not playing with you as the innocent teenagers you were. That's why we need you; because we've got the strategies, tactics, and the will to play foul just as him; and you've got Wade's interest and admiration. If we work together, we will win him and he knows it, that's why he's trying hard to keep you away from us with threats."

"What do you exactly mean when you say you've got the will to play foul?" Jen asked curiously, narrowing her eyes. Kelly looked at her fixedly, her peaceful face suddenly became severe.

"Your team's purpose is to imprison Wade. Our team's purpose is to kill him." She answered bluntly and you dropped your mouth in disturbance.

"We know Wade will manage to escape prison, and the only way he will stop fucking people's lives is if we kill him." Fred added and you frowned.

"And how's this whole plan of killing him?" Jen asked coldly. You and Darren looked at her abruptly.

"There's no need of you knowing. Don't worry, you won't do the dirty part, leave it up to us." Fred answered and Jen raised an eyebrow.

"Who said I'm worried about it? Jim destroyed all the good we had, I wanna be part of the dirty part." She answered and you widened your eyes, looking at her stunned. "What are we gonna do to kill him?"

"Jen, no... This not you." Darren said troubled and puzzled, scowling.

"I'm aware it's not me, Darren. But I'm so damn tired of seeing how Jim always wins and mocks us and makes us suffer. I wanna end with all of this, and they're right... He's gonna escape prison and killing him is the only way. I wanna be in peace." Jen answered with a jaded sigh. You frowned and parted your lips.

"Killing him is not the only way, Jen. And killing him won't bring you peace, it'll make you feel remorseful for the rest of your life." Darren replied, still perplexed by what Jen was saying.

"I don't care. I just want to kill him." She clenched her jaw, her gaze lost. You were pretty sure she wasn't thinking what she was saying. She was just sad, angry, frustrated; and this was the way to vent out her feelings.

"No. No, we won't be the kind of person Jim is." You said firmly. You looked at Jen and held her hand before looking at her in a compassionate way. "Jen, I know you're mad at Jim for what he has done and for that you want to revenge. But, please, think about it." You said very softly as she was looking away. "Brian would have never killed a person, no matter what kind of person. This is not what we do, this is not us. We're not like Jim, we're like Brian. Brian used to say that the good always wins, not the bad, remember? Let's not become the bad side." You said gently and Jen glanced at you with distressed eyes.

"I just don't know who I am anymore. All I want is to bring Jim down for all the pain he caused." She whispered and you looked at her afflicted.

"Then let me tell you that you're not the person who wants to kill someone. You're one of the most supportive, caring, and amazing people in this world; you're the person who takes people's hands when they need and who pulls them up when they're sinking; you're the person who makes people believe that their life is worth living despite the bad things, you're the person who makes people believe that they're special. That's the way Brian's eyes used to look at you, the same way our eyes look at you." You said with a friendly smile before pulling her into a warm hug. "We will bring Jim down, I promise; but in our own way. And we'll be safe and in peace. And the pain Jim caused will be less, because we did exactly what Brian wanted: to imprison Jim, not to kill him." You whispered in her ear before kissing her cheek and parting. Then you held out your pinky finger and she giggled with her eyes shimmering with tears. "Pinky promise that we will never let Jim make us doubt about who we truly are and we won't do anything that isn't true to ourselves because we succumbed to despair."

"Pinky promise." Jen smiled before hugging you. "Thank you, Freckles." She whispered before looking at Kelly and Fred. "We won't kill him."

"That's right. We will work together if the plan is to imprison him for life without parole and just that. If the plan is to kill him at the end, don't count on us; because we'll stick to our way." You assured, not in a rough way, but in a firm way.

"I agree." Darren said, also determined as all of them were looking at you intently.

"But, our team's purpose..." One of them babbled.

"You gotta put into consideration what's your priority, whether to stick to your team's purpose or to work with us. You've got the choice." You answered determined.

"We must stick to our team's purpose. Because just as you have your own way and you consider you must stick to it, we also have our own way and must stick to it." Fred answered.

"Well, then. We might as well work separately." You responded, shrugging.

"Wait, I think we can come up with some sort of agreement." Kelly suddenly spoke and all of you looked at her. "We will work together and we will do it your way, guys. The purpose will be to imprison Wade for life without parole, with help from the private investigator and the lawyer. Our teams will work together until the day we get to do it effectively. After that, our teams will stop working together, you'll go your own way and we'll go our own way because the purpose was achieved; then, after that moment, if we want, we will achieve our team's purpose because we will be no longer related. Do you think that agreement is fair enough?" Kelly asked gently.

"Killing him is not the way, Kelly. It won't make you feel better or safer. You may even end up in jail." Darren suddenly commented.

"I'm not questioning the reasons of your team's purpose, so don't question ours; and just as I respect your decisions, respect ours." Kelly replied, but in a polite way.

"It was just an advice." Darren shrugged and looked away, annoyed by her answer.

"I know, that's why I didn't insult you." Kelly responded softly. "But we won't change our mind, so the only we can do is to come up with an agreement."

"I think it is a fair enough agreement. What do you think, guys?" Jen asked, looking at you and Darren.

Darren just shrugged, showing his nonconformity; and you nodded, not so sure but agreeing because it was all that was left. You couldn't tell them what to do after the separation of the teams, even if you still considered that killing him wasn't the way.

"Okay, we agree; but you must know that our team is not just the three of us; it also includes my sister Amanda and our friend Joey, and Darren's brother and his girlfriend will also be actively involved if they want so. We work together and nobody will be excluded unless they want to." You clarified plainly. "Do we have an agreement?" You asked and all of them nodded; then Kelly walked towards you to shake your hand and close the deal. "So, what are your strategies and tactics?"

"The strategy is to act quickly, bluntly and without fear and doubts to achieve our goal. We will put an end to our current role as spectators of what Wade does or doesn't do; we will not react to Wade's moves and threats, but we will be the ones making the moves and Wade will be the one reacting to them. We will be the attackers and Wade will be the counter-attacker. The strategy is to make him feel that everything is turning upside down and going out of his control, that's how he will act on anger and when he will make a mistake and expose himself, the moment when we will catch him and imprison him." Kelly started explaining as you were nodding, agreeing so far. "The tactic is you to attack him, Freckles. You gotta provoke him, you gotta challenge him as you've already done; and for that you gotta meet him in person, alone."

"I don't agree with that." Darren quickly exposed his disagreement.

"Dare..." You looked at him.

"No, Freckles. I don't care if it's a good tactic, I won't let you be at risk." He refused strongly.

"Darren, she won't be at risk." Kelly said and he shot her a withering look.

"Are you fucking kidding me, Kelly?" He ranted.

"No, I am not. She will be at risk if she goes accompanied... See what happened last time you met Wade." She pointed out and Brian popped into your mind again, making you feel bad. "If Wade deals with a group of people, is to attack them. Instead, if he deals with only one person who is able to challenge and provoke him without fear, just as Freckles is able to do, he will have certain interest and curiosity and thus, he will have a conversation, not a nice one, but a conversation at the end." Kelly explained and you nodded. "He won't hurt her if she makes him believe that she's doing what he wants and she'll earn his respect, just what we need to attack him; because then Freckles will be able to manipulate Wade just as Brian could manipulate him the last time."

"Well, you see, Brian's plan of manipulating Jim didn't work as expected. I won't let this happen to Freckles. I don't want her to end up as Brian ended up." Darren blurted without thinking and you winced in pain.

"Brian didn't die because he couldn't manipulate Wade. Brian died because someone called the cops, Freckles had a gun in her hands, and Wade, without thinking owing to his desperation, shot Freckles but Brian stood in between, taking the bullets. Wade didn't want to kill Brian." Fred pointed out and this conversation was already making you feel terrible; yet you tried to hide your feelings away.

"Before the cops came, Jim was about to shoot Brian in the fucking head!" Darren yelled madly.

"He was trying to deceive you and cause you be scared of him! He was just blowing smoke! Wade would have never killed Brian, he respected him." Fred clenched his jaw.

"And that's why Jim bribed the judge to sentence Brian at death, why Jim ordered those inmates to rape him?" Darren answered back in a howl, and you looked down and bit your lips strongly in order to hold back your tears.

"He was just trying to test how good the lawyer you've got is, because he knows he is the same lawyer who is working on his case! If the lawyer wasn't that good to undo the sentence, he was gonna undo Brian's sentence he himself." Fred answered upset.

"You're talking bullshit! Those are fucking suppositions! If you're gonna answer something like that, give me legit evidence!" Darren scowled. "Jim always wanted to kill Brian and he did kill him... And now you want him to kill my girlfriend!" He yelled out of himself and you felt a sharp pain in your chest. This dispute was hurting you.

"Guys, stop." Kelly ordered severely. She'd been looking at you all along; so that Fred and Darren looked at you.

"I'm sorry, baby." Darren whispered anguished when he realized this was hurting you. He put an arm around you and kissed the top of your head. "I ran off at the mouth. I'm just worried and I don't want anything bad to happen to you." He apologized and you nodded.

"I know you're worried, Dare. But I need you to believe that I can do this, so that we'll put an end to all of these threats and bad experiences. I want to do it, but I need you to believe in me." You said while looking deeply into his eyes. All you needed for real was Darren's support because he was your blanket.

"I believe in you." He whispered with a sweet smile while caressing your cheek. You smiled back at him and leaned in to peck his lips.

"Thanks, Darebear." You whispered. Then you looked at Kelly and her team. "I will do it. But first I need to be psyched up... I need to recover the confidence I lost these last days and I need to recover emotionally if we want to make this right. I need time to be with my friends without being threatened by Jim. Can you help me out with that? Like, keeping him away from us for a couple of days?" You asked timidly.

"I can't promise it, but I can promise that we will try our best, Freckles." Kelly answered and you appreciated her honest answer because you were tired of lies and false hopes. "Now, back to our plan..." She started saying but she was interrupted by the sound of a shot and a loud scream.

"Red code!" The scream of a man said and the three of you frowned in confusion as Kelly and her team frowned in consternation. "Red co..." And the yell stopped abruptly when a second shot was heard.

"What is going on?" You asked frightened. Kelly looked at you in an edgy way.

"You must hide and leave. Right now." Her voice sounded wobbly. "Sincere, take them away and protect them. They must be safe." Kelly said and Sincere nodded.

"What's happening? What the fuck is red code?" Darren asked, also frightened and confused.

"Red code means that Wade is here. You must leave now! There's no time!" Kelly answered altered. "We will distract him, so that you can escape. Come on, hurry up!"

"No... What is this? What...?" Jen asked agitated, her voice trembling.

"We gotta leave now." Sincere said, taking Jen by her arm, because she was paralyzed. "Follow me." He said, looking at you and Darren.

Neither you nor Darren could move from where you were, until you heard someone trying to break down the door. That was when fear took over your body and you started trembling, your heart beating fast. If it hadn't been thanks to Darren who took your hand, you'd have never been able to react and move.

"I know you're here, you fucking whore! I warned you about the consequences of meeting the bitch of my twin!" You heard Jim's furious voice howling behind the door.

"Leave, now!" Kelly exclaimed in desperation.

Although Darren was holding your hand and forcing you to move, you were feeling your body heavy; so he took you in his arms and followed Sincere who was taking Jen in his arms, walking to a window that led to an emergency staircase. You saw how Kelly stood in front of the door, adopting a challenging posture; and by the time Jim managed to break down the door, you were crossing the window and got to see how Jim hit Kelly in the face before pushing her away in a harsh way. In a split second, Jim's eyes fixed on yours and you could notice his eyes blazing with anger, something that made you feel scared; but then Fred pounced on him before he could walk towards the window to attack you, and Darren started going down the stairs. You could hear the sound of yells of anger and pain and the sound of punches as you started feeling really anguished because you were leaving them alone to face Jim and his teammates in order to prevent him from catching you while you were escaping to be safe.

"Yo, the whore is escaping! Go after her!" You could hear Jim's rabid scream while you were still going down the stairs.

When Darren's feet touched the cement floor of the alley and started running behind Sincere and Jen, you could catch a glimpse at the entrance of the building and the first you saw was a pool of blood of one of Sincere's friends that was lying dead on the floor, making you feel perturbed; then you saw two guys with guns coming out the building, running towards you. And Darren couldn't run so fast with you in his arms, so you knew the guys would catch you; therefore, you started feeling very frightened and altered.

"Leave me on the floor, Darren!" You requested with wheezy voice.

When he did it, he quickly took your hand and started running faster, as the guys began to shoot their guns; you didn't know how, but fortunately you managed to dodge all of the bullets.

"This way, guys!" Sincere yelled, turning around the corner at the end of the alley. He ran to a car and opened the doors. "Go, go, go!" He hurried while putting Jen inside the car.

Darren and you got into the car and Sincere started the car before you could close the door, because the guys had already reached you and attempted to get in. He drove really fast and Darren managed to close the door. You looked behind through the window and you saw how the guys got into another car and were now following you. Sincere accelerated the car and started doing maneuvers to confuse the guys about where you were going and to leave them behind and escape. A truck almost crashed you, and you gasped and closed your eyes, clutching Darren's hand in complete trepidation; but Sincere managed to dodge the truck and that was when you finally left the guys behind. Once he made sure that the chasers lost your trace, he reduced the speed and you opened your eyes, your heart beating fast, your body trembling and your lips quivering in shock. You were feeling dizzy and confused because everything happened too fast; and you couldn't even speak. When Kelly said this would get worse than it already was, you couldn't believe her until that moment. Darren pulled you to him and you rested your head on his shoulder as he stroked your hair to reassure you.

"I can't do this." You realized after all you experienced. "I'm not ready for this. I can't. I'm not like Brian. I was playing to be brave, but truth is I'm not good at coping with these kinds of stuff." You babbled with wobbly voice. You noticed how Sincere looked at you through the rearview mirror. "I'm not good for this. I'm so sorry."

"Don't say that, baby. You can do this, and if you feel like you can't, remember that you're not alone, we're here with you. You're good enough. I believe in you, baby." Darren whispered in your ear, squeezing your arm.

"And if you feel like you're not ready for this, remember that we are together on this; we'll help each other and then the day we feel ready will come. We won't leave you alone." Jen said, turning her face to look at you from the passenger seat.

"No... I'm not brave, I will never be brave and I will always run away, I will never be able to deal with this; I don't have the skills and guts to face Jim in order to protect you, guys. If I was that kind of person, Brian wouldn't be dead; because I had the chance to face Jim that day, but I felt weak and helpless and I chose to play his game and decide between killing you or killing Brian. And I know I will do it again, and again, and again; because I am a coward." You covered your face when the crying came. Sincere parked the car and he turned around to look at you.

"Listen to me, girl." He said and you uncovered your face to look at him through your tears. "You gotta understand that you're not guilty for Brian's death, neither are you, dude." He said looking at Darren who was looking down. "Wade is. If you don't understand this, you'll feel guilty for the rest of your lives and you'll never overcome your depression, and that's precisely what Wade wants. Next time you think about your friend's death, remember who the one who shot the gun was. That will give you the strength you need to face Wade in order to achieve your goal to imprison him, not to kill him as Kelly and her team wants; do not do that." He started saying as you were wiping your tears away, listening intently to what he was saying. "I'm really sorry for your loss; but you still have your other friends, the same friends that Brian was willing to protect, no matter what. You have each other and as long as you stick together, nothing bad can happen to you. Just by looking at you interacting and hearing you, I can tell that you'll always protect and support each other; never lose that, because your friendship is strong and that is your key for success. Never let Wade destroy it." He said and you all looked at him amazed by what he was saying. "And maybe you feel like you're not good enough, like you're not brave, like you're a coward who doesn't dare to do whatever it takes to protect your friends. But once, a little bird called Brian told me that you're anything but." He said and you closed your eyes, wincing with sorrow. "He told me you were brave enough to save his life, in a selfless way, and that you succeeded. And if that is not a big deal for you, it was for him; it is for each one of your friends. That's why they believe in you. Now it's time for you to believe in yourself; because the only one who's stopping you from feeling confident is you." He said and you opened your eyes to look at him straight in his dark eyes, as tears began to stream down your face. "You're ready for this; it's just that you still gotta believe in it."

"That's right." Darren said, smiling at Sincere in a thankful way. Then he looked fondly at you, clasping both of your hands in his. "You know, baby? We gotta remember that nothing is what it seems, not even what you think of yourself." He said and your eyes filled with tears, but you gave him a tender grin because of your thrill of knowing that the person you loved the most didn't see you as the coward person you thought you were.

---

It'd been four days since the day we met Kelly. Kelly let us know that, luckily, no one ended up badly hurt, except one of Sincere's friends. Kelly and her team managed to keep Jim away from us as they promised, but that didn't mean that Jim stopped threatening by text messages. I made the decision to retain Freckles' phone and I bought her a new one, so that she wouldn't have to read the constant threatening text messages from Jim; if they were disturbing for me to read, I didn't want to imagine how disturbing they would be for her. Kelly wasn't joking when she said that now Freckles was Brian's replacement for Jim; and I certainly didn't want Freckles to take the place of Brian, because I didn't want her to suffer the same he suffered. So I was worried; and more owing to the fact that Jim was mad and out of himself after finding out our deal with Kelly's team. But I had to keep in mind that nothing was what it seemed and that I had to be strong for Freckles in order to take care of her. Good thing was that Sincere gave us his number, so we could call him whenever we needed him; he told us that he'd protect us and if — by chance — one day we forgot calling him, he'd call us to check how we were. He suggested us to stay together, so that way it'd be harder for Jim to attack any of us; so Freckles and Jen moved temporarily to my apartment. Joey shared his bedroom with Mandy, and I shared my bedroom with Freckles and Jen. Our previously routine was deliberately changed, but we soon got to adapt to this new unusual routine. Mandy wouldn't leave the apartment because she had to work from her laptop; Jen had to travel to Detroit every day for her internship and Sincere offered to be the one taking her from here to there; Joey and I had to attend almost every course, so we were together basically all the time; and I personally asked this Noah guy if he could accompany Freckles because he was the only dude who attended the same courses than her. It didn't last more than a day, though; the dude was a dick, flirting with her all the time, even in front of me. After that, I called Greg to ask him if he could do it —because despite the fact that I still didn't like him so much— he helped us when he had the chance and he kept his word of calling the cops that damn day; besides, there were less chances of him flirting with Freckles owing to the fact that he liked more dudes than chicks. Also, Freckles felt safer with Greg than with Noah; and as long as she could feel safe and protected, it was gonna be fine for me. And I didn't have any kind of problem with Greg the last three days, unlike Noah; he always picked Freckles up the hour agreed and he always brought her back right after she finished her classes; not even once he spent time with her after her classes.

"Darren, can I come in?" I heard Jen asking from my bedroom's door.

"Of course, Jen. This is now your bedroom, too; you don't have to ask." I responded while I was doing my assignment for my Script Analysis for Black Writers & Directors course.

"I just didn't want to interrupt you." She answered when she entered the bedroom, standing next to me. I closed my book and looked at her with a faint grin.

"You aren't interrupting. I think I'm finished for today." I replied, even if I actually didn't finish my essay; I guess I got used at Brian helping me out with this shit of essays and now everything was harder.

"You look so tired." She frowned.

"Oh, it's just that today I forgot to apply concealer to cover up my dark circles as I always do." I joked and she giggled softly, shaking her head.

Truth was that I was indeed tired because lately I couldn't sleep well due to the threatening text messages, the stress of thinking all the time that Jim could hurt any of us, the exhausting amount of assignments I had to do, the sudden obligation of getting used to this new routine, and the insecurity if the whole plan of attacking Jim would work or not. But I didn't want them to know about my concerns.

"Do you need a hand with your assignments?" She asked politely.

"No, Jenny, I'm fine with that. I wanna take a break." I answered, taking off my glasses. "So, how was your day?" I asked, hugging her by the waist, resting my head on her stomach, closing my eyes because of my exhaustion.

"Oh, as usual... Completely boring! I didn't apply for this job to be the errand girl." She answered and I smiled weakly.

"Internships suck, eh? They always treat you like a fucking slave." I said jokingly. "You should do the kind of stuff you do, like a news story about slavery internships and how to abolish this new kind of slavery. You'll get to be in the top 10 journalists in America."

"Sometimes you have good ideas, Darren." She chuckled and I grinned again, opening my eyes to look up at her.

"I always have totally awesome ideas, Jenny." I winked. "Besides being completely frustrated and upset because of the cruel slave labor you're forced to do, how are you?"

"Fine, I guess." She shrugged. "I actually wanted to talk to you because I've talked to Mr. Boies. He told me he already corroborated the documents about Jim that Kelly gave us and they're original and valid. And I told him that we want the private investigator to come to Ann Arbor as we agreed; he said he was gonna talk to him today and will let me know the answer."

"Hmm, that's good. Let's hope the damn investigator does his job for once and for all. We're paying him a fortune for nothing, goddammit. Three months already and we've found more things of Jim than he has. It's absurd." I complained irked.

"I know." She sighed. "And if he doesn't agree to come here, I will dismiss him and we will find a better one, I promise. I'm sorry he didn't turn out to be what was expected."

"It's not your fault, Jenny. You've been great." I kissed her arm before resting my head on her stomach again. "You're actually the one who has done more things than anyone in regard to Jim."

"I could have done more, though." She whispered and I opened my eyes to look at her frowning.

"Hey, no..." I said, pulling her to me and making her sit on my lap. "You've always done your best, Jenny. Besides, if you say that, what's left for us? We've done nothing compared to all you've done. All of us are doing our best and that is what matters, okay?" I asked while wrapping my arms around her. She pursed her lips and nodded. "You know what we need?" I asked to try to cheer her up, she glanced at me as a way to ask me what. "A little bit more of fun. It's been too long since the last time we had fun and we need to release our stress somehow. So, how about we do something funny tonight?" I suggested with a big grin.

"I'm really not in the mood to go out if that's what you meant." She answered.

"We don't necessarily have to go out if we wanna have fun. We can have fun here, without going anywhere. Just one night here in which we will forget about everything and not think about plans, strategies and tactics. What do you say?" I asked persuasively.

"Hmm, it could be a good idea provided that we order pizza, beers and ice cream." She replied with a cheery smile.

"You just read my mind, Jenny." I winked and she chuckled. "So, let's go buy those beers. It'll also be a good chance to force Mandy to leave the apartment; it's been days since the last time she breathed fresh air."

"True that." Jen nodded.

After spending minutes and on trying to persuade Mandy to join us, we convinced her that it'd be good for her to leave the apartment and that her hair and make-up looked good. We returned with 6 packs of beers and three pints of Häagen-Dazs ice cream. Freckles texted me that she would arrive later because she would pass by her dorm room to look for some clothes and things she needed and then Greg would take her to my apartment as usual. Joey ordered the pizzas as I started playing my guitar to entertain Jen and Mandy who were asking me to play certain songs they liked. For a moment, I thought everything had turned normal, as if for a moment all of us got to forget that bad things had happened and were happening to us. Then we heard the doorbell and I opened the door to find Freckles with two bags next to Greg.

"Hi, baby." I greeted her with a broad smile, pecking her lips.

"Hi, Darebear." She answered sweetly. Then I looked at Greg and shook hands with him.

"Hey, man. Thank you for bringing her safe and sound." I said.

"You're welcome." He nodded with a faint grin. "Well, I hope you have a good Friday night, guys." He said, attempting to leave.

"Wait, man. We ordered some pizzas and we've got some beers. It's not the wildest party or anything like, but do you wanna stay the night here?" I asked as he looked at me surprised. It was the least I could do to thank him for what he was doing. Apparently Freckles liked the idea, because she smiled at me.

"Uh, I don't know..." He said kind of uncomfortable.

"It would be nice if you stay, Greg." Freckles commented. "Or do you have to manage another frat party?"

"No, it's not that. It's just that, uh, I wouldn't like to meddle in your night of friends, guys." He answered and both Freckles and I frowned.

"Come on, man! You're like one of us already. We'll jam some cool songs, drink some bears and just have fun, you know? It'd be a great chance to get to know you more, too." I replied, trying to sound convincing.

"That's right! You should get to know my sister, also Joey and Jen. You'll like them, Greg." Freckles exclaimed with a cheerful grin.

"Uh, well, okay... Yeah, I could stay." Greg finally answered and I patted his back.

"Then, come in and make yourself at home, man." I said while stepping aside to let him come in.

Greg entered and looked around shyly, feeling a bit intimidated when Mandy, Jen and Joey fixed their gazes on him. I took Freckles' bags to let her introduce Greg to them and when I was walking to the bedroom to leave the bags, I heard Freckles' excited voice, what made me smile a bit. It'd been a while since the last time she was so joyful.

"This is my sister, Amanda! Aren't we like totally different?" She was saying.

"Nice to meet you, Amanda." Greg said politely.

"You call me Amanda once again and I will kick your balls so hard that not even an ice pack would help you get relief from the pain and swelling." Mandy answered and I chuckled.

"Don't mind her, dude. She's always like that and that whole scene was because she'd rather to be called Mandy. I'm Joey, by the way, boyfriend of this foul-mouthed, sexy girl." I heard Joey's voice.

"And this one here is Jen!" Freckles exclaimed loudly as I was leaving the bedroom to join them. "Isn't she really beautiful? She likes reading and writing, just like you; she also likes guys who seem totally badass but who are actually sweethearts, like you! I have the feeling you two will get along very well... And who knows what would happen?" She asked in a hyper way, a wide smile crossing her lips.

I was frowning, looking intently at Freckles, trying to understand why she said what she said. Jen had dropped her jaw in astonishment and she was seemingly feeling awkward, while Greg was feeling a bit uncomfortable, looking away. Joey and Mandy were looking at Freckles just as confused and stunned as I was.

"Nice to meet you, Jen." Greg said politely, interrupting the awkward silence.

"Same, Greg." Jen answered politely. Before the silence could start again, I walked towards Greg.

"Let me take your coat, man." I said gently and Greg nodded, taking off his jacket.

As soon as he took off his coat, I saw he was wearing a white and green striped pullover that reminded me of certain pullover. I noticed how the rest looked straight at his pullover as well, their faces frozen in shock and surprise, and not precisely the kind of pleasant surprise. And I realized I wasn't the only one who was thinking that pullover looked exactly like the pullover that belonged to Brian, the only one that Freckles kept.

"Where did you get that pullover?" Mandy asked, her voice sounding shaky and dangerously suspicious. Greg looked at her afraid, gulping before looking away. "That pullover isn't yours. I demand you to take it off right now!" Mandy screamed with shrill voice, she was hysterical.

"I... I am sorry..." Greg whispered very uncomfortable, attempting to take it off.

"Hurry up! And do not dare to wear it again!" Mandy yelled again, this time furious, what made Greg feel even more flustered and ashamed.

"I am so sorry." Greg whispered again, taking the pullover off.

"No, don't be sorry, Greg." Freckles finally spoke and looked at Mandy defiantly. "It is my pullover now, Mandy, and I can do with it whatever I want. So I gave it to him because he didn't have a coat and it's cold."

"I did have my own pullover." Greg responded timidly, very intimidated by Mandy's rabid stare.

"Yeah, but I told you. This pullover looks better on you; it brings out your green eyes." Freckles responded softly and he looked down, pursing his lips.

"I don't have green eyes, I have blue eyes." He whispered with a sigh. He sounded as if he was weary, what led me to think that Freckles already commented this several times, what led me to frown in suspicion. He looked apologetically at Mandy. "I'm so sorry... I didn't want but... your sister... she made me wear it." He whispered at Mandy.

"Is that true?" Mandy asked out loud, looking at Freckles.

"What?" She asked, obviously she didn't get to hear their conversation.

"That you forced this poor guy to wear Brian's pullover?" Mandy asked, almost aggressively.

"What are you talking about? What pullover?" Freckles asked and I dropped my mouth and widened my eyes. Mandy, Joey and Jen scowled and looked at her confused and disturbed, as Greg bit his lips, still looking down.

"Baby, are you okay?" I asked softly, placing a hand on her waist. She looked up at me and grinned.

"Yes, I'm fine, Darebear." She stood on tiptoe to peck my lips.

"Could you explain me the whole thing of the pullover?" I requested gently, looking deeply into her eyes.

"What pullover? Why are we even talking about a pullover?" She asked and I could see confusion and clueless in her eyes, something that made me frown and feel preoccupied.

"Brian's pullover, baby. The one you gave to Greg." I responded, trying to sound very patient.

"What?" She asked disconcerted and I bit my lips. Then she looked at Greg and the pullover he was holding in his hands. "Hey! I told you to wear it! Why would you take it off?" She asked and I raised my eyebrows and exchanged looks with the rest of us as Greg parted his lips. "Come on! Put it on!" Freckles insisted, walking to him to basically force him to put it on again as we were watching her odd behavior.

"No..." Greg whispered uncomfortable, trying to resist.

"Please, your green eyes always look very beautiful when you wear this pullover." Freckles said and I dropped my mouth again.

"I don't have green eyes!" Greg exclaimed a bit exasperated.

"What are you talking about?" Freckles chuckled, apparently thinking that Greg was saying nonsense things.

"Beautiful, I don't have green eyes and this pullover isn't mine as you've been saying." Greg responded, this time calmer and a bit afflicted.

"Well, why don't we change the subject? Freckles, it's hot in here to wear a pullover, don't you think?" Jen asked, apparently suspecting about something.

"Yes, of course." Freckles nodded and then rubbed her belly. "I'm so hungry! What are we planning to eat?" She asked cheerfully.

"Pizza!" Joey exclaimed with a wink, taking advantage of her question to change the topic of conversation.

"Pizza?" Freckles growled. "How about we eat something like a more hearty meal? How about lasagna, eh? It's been a while since the last time I ate lasagna and it's my favorite meal." She said and I grinned faintly.

"Right, Garfield." I joked, winking at her who chortled.

"So? You're a damn good cook and your lasagna is delicious. Are you in mood to cook?" Freckles asked, looking at Greg who was looking down, running a hand through his hair.

"Actually, I barely know how to cook a hotdog. I've never cooked lasagna and I'm the worst cook ever." Greg answered, looking fixedly at Freckles.

"Oh, please! Don't be so modest, Brian!" Freckles giggled and all of us looked at her stunned.

"I'm not Brian." Greg sighed, lowering his gaze. I closed my eyes and I also let out a sigh.

"Baby?" I asked, putting an arm over her shoulder. "Would you go with Joey to the grocery to buy a pack of beers? And also some chocolates."

"Uh, sure!" She responded lively.

"Joey, please, buddy?" I requested almost pleadingly.

I had to talk to Greg about this whole thing; and I needed Mandy because she knew her sister too well and I needed Jen because she studied psychology and she may have some kind of explanation about Freckles' unusual, strange behavior.

"Totally, pal." He answered right away, walking towards Freckles. "Let's go, freckled face." Joey tried to say in a merry way while intertwining his arm with hers.

When they left, I looked at Greg right away. I knew he was feeling intimidated by our looks in his direction; so I tried to make him feel less uncomfortable by handing him a beer.

"I'm sorry for what happened, man." I started the conversation and he glanced at me and nodded. "Has she been acting like this these last days?"

"Yeah, pretty much all the time." He answered, looking intently at me. "I didn't know how to let you know so without making her feel offended, upset or sad as it's happened the times I told her that she was confusing me with Brian." He answered and I looked down and Mandy and Jen puckered their brows.

"I... I'm sorry for the whole scene of the pullover. I didn't know my sister was being like this." Mandy suddenly whispered.

"It's okay. You didn't know; it was my fault." Greg responded gently.

"So... What exactly has she been doing?" I asked, trying to return to the topic of conversation I was interested in.

"It's like at times she thinks I'm Brian... She'd talk to me as though I were him, about things I have no clue, and she'd treat me as though I were him. It's not like she wants me to be him, she in fact believes I am him. It's as if at those moments she disconnects from reality, and then, when she returns to reality, she completely forgets about what she said or did when she was seeing me as Brian, as if she isn't aware of it... Like what happened with the pullover thing." He explained while I was trying to understand what was going on with Freckles and why she would do that. "At first I thought she called me Brian accidentally. When she continued doing that, I thought that maybe she wanted to find the similarities I could have with him, perhaps because she's trying to find someone who can take the place of the friend she lost. But then, when I found out that she couldn't remember what she said or did, I started to get worried." He confessed and I looked at Jen.

"Jen, you studied one year of psychology. Is there any kind of logic explanation to what is happening to Freckles and why she's acting that way?" I asked, trying not to sound as disquiet as I actually was.

"Uh, I really don't know much about it. But I think we're talking about dissociation and dissociative disorders." She answered and I puckered my eyebrows, not getting what she was talking about; she saw my face and elaborated. "Dissociative experiences are not integrated into the sense of self, resulting in discontinuities in conscious awareness. The dissociation is a lack of connection in thoughts, memory and sense of identity of a person. It is what is called emotional numbing, one of the main aspects of PTSD. Typically, the person feels controlled by an emotion unable to stop, as if someone was forcing them to do so. I think Freckles is suffering dissociative amnesia and confusion and alteration of identity; and this may be owing to the chronic and severe trauma of Brian's death, where dissociation reduces the intense emotional pain created by the trauma. It also lies in the difficulty to tolerate and handle intense emotional experiences, because she's had few opportunities to modulate her emotions. Thus, the trauma that she's not able to face or admit is in an isolated compartment of her mind, disconnected from the rest, and it leads her to have temporarily a different personality." She explained and I looked at her stunned, feeling even more concerned. Dammit. "She has to modulate and vent out her feelings with someone she can trust a lot, and if after that the dissociative experiences persist, she'll need a long-term psychotherapy. Otherwise, she could develop a delirium, which is an acute confusional state and the common symptomatic manifestation of new organic brain dysfunction; that's pretty severe." Jen added a bit afflicted and just as concerned as I was.

"Oh my god. Why did I never notice that she could never handle this pain of Brian's death?" Mandy asked in a whisper, her face reflecting distress and guiltiness.

"No one noticed it, Mandy." Jen replied as a way to make her stop feeling guilty. "She tried to convince herself that she could live with her pain and that Brian would always be alive in her memory, so that she convinced us of that, too. But truth is she never got it, she's been trying to bury her pain instead of facing it."

"But she's my sister and I should have noticed it." Mandy ran a hand over her face.

"And she's my girlfriend and we've shared very intimate moments and conversations; yet I haven't noticed it, Mandy. How do you think I feel?" I asked, looking deeply into her eyes, feeling really bad. "It's not time to feel guilty because we never noticed it, because what's done is done. Now it's time to focus on how to help her."

"Yes, you're right." Mandy sighed.

"Jen, what do you think it'd be the best? If we let Freckles treat Greg as though he was Brian or to make her see that he isn't Brian? Or to prevent her from seeing Greg for the moment?" I asked and both Jen and Greg looked at me.

"I honestly don't know, Darren. I don't have a depth study about dissociation and dissociative disorders." Jen responded, pursing her lips. "Maybe Freckles sees Greg as Brian because she found something on him that reminds her of Brian, and we all know that Brian was Freckles' best friend. So maybe Greg would be able to help her if he stays close to her. But I really don't know."

"Yeah, maybe he can help her." Mandy whispered thoughtful.

And that was the moment when I saw Greg and noticed he was looking at all of us kind of troubled. And that was the moment when I realized that we were basically putting all the responsibility on him, without even asking him about this and when he didn't even have to deal with this, because he didn't know Freckles that much.

"Hey, man. You don't have to do this, really. You can just be out of all of this if you want. We won't force you to stay close to her if you feel uncomfortable." I said while looking at him. He looked down and bit his lips, apparently hesitating whether he should do this or not.

"I guess I can help her. I just don't know how. But if you need me to make her get better, you can count on me." He finally answered and I grinned gratefully at him. "It makes me feel weird the way she treats me, but I can take it if that means she'll get better at the end." He added while shrugging.

"But what if Jim starts threatening him?" Jen asked worried. I saw how Greg looked up abruptly, suddenly feeling a bit scared. Of course, he knew who Jim was now.

"You have a point." I sighed and ran a hand through my curls. "Greg, I think you should stay away, for your own sake." I said, because although he could have really helped Freckles, we couldn't make him be at risk because of helping us.

"I already told you this before... I know how to deal with bullies." He responded and I looked at him surprised.

"Yeah, well, this is not just a bully; this is a fucking demented guy." Mandy replied, clenching her jaw.

"I know how to protect myself, if that is what is worrying you." He shrugged. "And I'm not trying to dismiss the importance this may have for you. I just really know how to protect myself. So I can still help her."

"Why are you willing to risk your own life in order to protect her?" I asked a bit suspicious now. He looked at me bewildered, raising his eyebrows.

"I know what you're thinking because we've already argued about this; so let me tell you again that I am not trying to steal her from you or whatever." He clarified, but I was still looking at him suspiciously. "I like her. And it's not in the way I have feelings for her. It's because she's the first person who didn't judge me and treat me like I have some sort of disease when I told her about my sexual orientation. So she's a special person to me, even if we don't know each other so well." He answered and I nodded. This time I believed him, because he finally explained me the reason with honesty.

"Are you gay, dude?" Mandy suddenly asked and I looked at her abruptly, in a reproaching way as Greg looked awkwardly at her, parting his lips and muttering, apparently feeling embarrassed.

"I... No..." He babbled, scratching the nape of his neck as Brian used to do whenever he was nervous. "Well... Yeah, kind of. I'm bisexual." He added, looking down and blushing.

"Greg, all of us grew up in San Francisco. You know? The center of liberal activism in the United States, famous for the gay rights movements. There's no need to feel ashamed of your sexual orientation around us, really." Jen said sympathetically.

"Yeah, I just asked that because you're too hot to be gay or bisexual or whatever... I mean, poor the girls who fall for you, dude." Mandy said and I rolled my eyes.

"You're lucky Joey isn't here to listen to what you're saying, Mandy." I commented.

"Oh, please! Joey would say the same than me. He'd even try to put the moves on him." Mandy shrugged and I laughed. "Don't be scared if my boyfriend flirts with you, dude." Mandy commented while looking at Greg, who chuckled softly, still feeling a bit ashamed.

"Welcome to our circle of friends, man!" I exclaimed while chortling and patting his back.

"Thanks, guys." He answered grinning.

Once we agreed Greg was gonna help Freckles and talk to her as Brian would have talked to her whenever she was feeling bad and needed to find her way again, I headed to the kitchen to grab four beers, one for each. But I stayed in the kitchen for a while, staring blankly at the sink. I was very worried about Freckles and her dissociative disorders, because I still remembered the way she used to somatize her stress and pain, that led her to suffer peptic ulcer; but I was also feeling anguished. I was anguished because I couldn't notice that she actually wasn't okay and she needed help and reassurance and I didn't give her what she needed. Also, I was feeling afflicted because her pain was greater than her happiness; I realized I wasn't making her that happy to make her feel less pained as she was making me feel ever since we started dating. I always wished I could be the guy who would manage to take her pain away and make her feel totally happy in return; so realizing that I couldn't do it hit me like a ton of bricks.

"Hey, mate, do you need any help?" Suddenly Greg's voice next to me interrupted my thoughtful mood.

"Oh, no; I'm fine." I responded, opening the beer bottles. I gave one to him and I sipped my own. "Let's bring these to the girls." I said before sipping the beer again.

"Yeah, first I'd like to tell you something." He said and I looked at him curiously. "I've talked to your girlfriend about you." He said and I raised my eyebrows in surprise.

"Go on..." I requested, now feeling very intrigued.

"She really loves you and she's very happy now that she forgot about her fears of getting her heart broken and realized that if she happens to end up heartbroken for being with you, it will be worth it." He answered and I looked intently at him, thinking that it was as though he could have read my mind; because I needed to hear something like this in this moment. "You're the person she trusts the most. And you heard what Jen said. She needs to vent out her feelings with someone she can trust a lot. So, I think I could help her; but the one who can truly help her get better is you. And I think she won't take the initiative to talk about this, so I was thinking you could help her talk about this. Just the two of you. She told me she was excited for something you told her about travelling and finding new places that you can make your own... Maybe you and she could go somewhere and there talk about it; and if you need money or something for the trip, I can give you." He said and I narrowed my eyes and thought about it. "Uh, but... You know, it's just an idea. I really don't wanna meddle between you or anything like..." He stammered nervously, probably thinking that I made that grimace because I was disgruntled.

"Hey, no, man! I was just thinking about what you said. I actually think it's a genius idea, man." I confessed, feeling amazed. "Thank you for giving me this idea, dude." I added, patting his shoulder.

"You got it, mate." He grinned and nodded.

"Look what we've bought!" I suddenly heard Freckles' excited voice squealing.

I looked at the entrance and I saw her smiling widely, as though nothing bad was going on inside her, as though she was really happy and she could live with her pain. It was impossible to notice that she was actually feeling depressed. I looked at her with a faint, crooked smile, feeling sad inside.

"Don't feel guilty. No one would have noticed her pain by looking at her." Greg suddenly whispered, again as if he could read my mind.

"I used to look into her eyes and notice her pain behind the big smile she puts on her face to hide it." I sighed, looking down.

"Yeah, but you're forgetting that now she believes she's fine and that she has no pain, so you can't look into her eyes and see her pain. Seriously, mate, don't feel guilty." He replied, looking fixedly at me.

"Chocolate and Nutella lava cakes and Nutella fudges for everyone!" Freckles squealed enthusiastically, hopping with a cheesy, broad smile. "Also a jar of Nutella for myself! I gotta go shopping with Joey more often. He knows how to pamper me." She giggled and I saw how she kissed Joey on the cheek and how Mandy grinned sweetly at Joey, as a way to thank him for what he did. "Also we bought the beers." She said while walking to the kitchen where I was. "Should I put these in the refrigerator, Darebear?" She asked, showing me the beers.

"Yes, baby, let me do it." I answered while taking the beers. I put them in the refrigerator and Freckles hugged me unexpectedly.

"I will share my jar of Nutella only with you." She rested her head on my chest as I wrapped my arms around her.

"Hmm, that's a big deal. I feel honored, baby." I joked, kissing the top of her head.

"That's how much I love you." She looked up at me with a tender smile and bright eyes. I couldn't help smiling back at her. I tried to find that pain in her eyes, but I just couldn't see it.

"I love you more, Cheeky Creepy Bossynova." I answered, tapping the tip of her nose as she let out a belly laugh. I pulled her into a tight hug and I wanted to never let go of her. "I love you so much, Freckles. You know that, right?"

"Yes, I know. I also love you so much, Darebear." She chortled and broke the hug to look at me. "You make me so happy." She smiled fondly.

But I knew the truth about her now. And I wished I could find the way to make her feel happy for real and forever, not just for a moment.

"This weekend. We're going to find another place to call it somewhere only we know, baby. It's decided." I winked and her teeth shone bright when a wide smile crossed her lips. And I wished she could smile that bright inside, too.

---

"Baby, wake up! We've arrived!" Darren's overexcited voice awoke you, shaking your shoulder.

You opened your eyes just a crack, feeling a sharp pain in the neck owing to the uncomfortable position you fell asleep in the seat of the bus. Your eyes took a moment to adjust and take in the sunlight that was hitting your face. You peered through the window of the bus and saw the snowmelt panorama outside, making you shiver and basically making you curl up into a ball, snuggling with the blanket, your eyes uncontrollably shutting. Then you felt Darren's hand shaking your shoulder again.

"Come on, baby! Look at that! Gosh, isn't it beautiful?" You heard the usual pitched voice he had when he was in his most high-spirited mood.

"No, it's cold." You grumbled, your brows puckering. "We couldn't go to a tropical place, could we? No, here we are... in the land of snowmelt and Eskimos." You complained, covering your head under the blanket.

Nonetheless - in the inside - you were grinning. It actually didn't matter where you were just as long as you were with Darren. And it was pretty nice to finally have taken a break and go somewhere new, only the two of you; and when you said take a break, you meant take a break from everything: college, assignments, routine, questioning, concerns, Jim, threats, and even your own mind. Disconnecting from your current reality and escaping from everything with Darren - even if for a short period of time - was about right. It was more than right; it was fabulous. Suddenly you sensed how Darren pulled up the blanket and when you opened your eyes, you saw a pair of sparkling hazel eyes and a broad smile just few inches away from your face. You couldn't help but smiling at how adorable and excited Darren was.

"Come on, baby! You'll miss out the beauty of the northwestern Upper Peninsula of Michigan!" He exclaimed, his teeth shining bright.

"I only see grass, grass and more grass!" You said, though you looked through the window.

"Wait to see more!" He clapped and bounced on his seat.

"Oh my god!" You exclaimed, dropping your jaw and widening your eyes. "You saw it?" You asked, looking at Darren and pointing outside. "Is that Bambi?" You returned your gaze to the deer as Darren laughed out loud.

"Not that only it was grass?" He teased you and you nudged him. "We're just entering the Porcupine Mountains Wilderness State Park aka The Porkies." He announced and you couldn't see anything different from what you've been seeing.

That was until the bus turned a corner and a breathtaking view captivated you, making you drop your mouth due to the beauty of what your eyes were taking in. A large blue lake surrounded by woods of trees with leaves of a colored graduation from yellow, bright orange, to red - typical of fall - was below the rocky outcropping from where the bus was going down. You had to blink twice to make sure this landscape was real and not part of a fairy tale. You felt Darren's cheek pressing against yours and you glanced at him to find him trying to look through the window with a wide smile.

"Tell me the truth, Goober Bossynova. Are we trapped in a fairy tale? If so, what fairy tale are we talking about?" You asked and he giggled, turning his gaze to your eyes.

"It's a new fairy tale, in which I am the Prince Charming and you're the grumpy witch who complains about the cold land where they're trapped and who cannot see the true beauty of the place." He answered and you scowled and crossed your arms over your chest.

"Really, Darren? Why do I have to be the grumpy witch? That's terribly romantic and you really know how to..." Your complaint was dramatically interrupted by a noisy kiss on your lips.

"It's said that when the Prince Charming kisses the grumpy witch, the grumpy witch turns into a gorgeous woman; all along she was actually subject to a terrific curse that only true love would undo. Tell me that it worked and I got to undo your curse." He asked amused. You just frowned.

"You tell me." You answered in a surly way, but actually pretty amused at how dork he was.

"Hmm, you're still a bit grumpy. Guess I'll have to try it again." He said and - without hesitating - he cupped your jawline with his hand and pulled you into a kiss, this time an affectionate, gentle one.

You were wrapped up by his kiss right away. Just feeling his lips pressed against yours acted like the most effective sedative that would make you forget about all the bad and just feel engrossed in this warm feeling inside you. You continued the kiss and even deepened it, moving forward and placing your hand on his thigh to maintain your balance. When he parted to breathe, you felt the cold between the space separating you and this made you open your eyes to look into his.

"Sure as hell it worked this time, gorgeous girl." He smiled in front of your lips as you chuckled, shaking your head. "Yet, you still have a green spot of what used to be part of the grumpy witch in your face. Oh wait. That's a snot."

"Darren! Oh my god. You just ruined the fucking moment." You scowled and huffed as he burst out laughing. "Do I really have a snot?" You asked, running your fingers through you nose. Darren chuckled and leaned in to peck your lips.

"No, baby." He answered in front of your lips. "You just have nasal mucus." He said and you frowned. "Kidding!"

"Jesus. I don't know how I'll make it to spend the whole weekend just with you and your idiocy." You shook your head, trying to contain a smile.

"It'll be the best weekend of your life, though." He winked and rested his head on your shoulder, wrapping his arms around you.

Hell yes, you were sure it'd be the best weekend of your life. Or at least the best you would feel considering your last crappy days. You smiled sweetly at Darren, even if he couldn't see you, and you started stroking his smooth curls until the bus stopped and you arrived to your destination. As soon as you got out the bus, the cold breeze hit your face; but you didn't have time to make a comment about it, because Darren hung his luggage bag over his shoulder, took your suiter luggage, and held your hand with his free hand, forcing you to basically run to god knows where while talking at fast speed, like a hyper little boy. You took a cab that drove you to a wooden rustic cabin practically in the middle of the woods -apparently the place Darren booked to spend the weekend. You were so overwhelmed by the beauty of the place, by Darren talking nonstop and by the way everything seemed to be perfectly planned, that you were speechless, trying to digest everything. When you entered the small wooden rustic cabin and you saw how cozy it was, you indeed felt like you were trapped in a fairy tale. And you smiled as bright as you haven't smiled since a while now. Darren was excitedly touring the cabin, still talking as though he was speaking a monologue; you just observed him and listened to his voice with a tender, silent smile.

"So? You like it?" He asked with a cheesy grin and hopeful eyes, raising his arms and letting them fall to the both sides of his hips. You stepped closer to him and placed your hands on his waist.

"I love it." You responded, looking fondly up to him. "Thank you for taking me here." You stood on tiptoe to peck his lips.

No one would take off of your mind that the whole point of Darren taking you to a place like this was because he wanted to do something romantic. He would never admit it, probably because not even he himself knew it. But you knew. Darren was never the kind of guy who would think about how to do something romantic, you'd never expect him to bring you flowers, prepare a candlelight dinner, and write you a poem; and he knew that you sort of liked that romantic stuff. So -being that he'd feel awkward doing something that wasn't part of the way he was- he was trying hard to find his own way of romanticism to make you happy; so this gesture from him was very meaningful to you. Hell, being alone in a wooden rustic cabin with wooden heart shutters in the middle of a woods with lakes and waterfalls was romantic as fuck.

"You know this will be like our first official date?" Darren asked with an affectionate smile, placing both of his hands on your waist as you moved your hands to his shoulders.

"I know, Darebear." You asserted, feeling a bit surprised to acknowledge that he was also aware of it. "And I'm glad it's somewhere only we know." You winked and he beamed before touching your lips with his.

"What do you wanna do in our first date? Feeling like staying here, snuggling up and drinking hot chocolate? Or feeling like venturing out and exploring the wildness that surrounds us?" He asked, waggling his brows and showing you all of his teeth, making you chuckle.

"How about we explore this beautiful place and then return to drink a hot chocolate while snuggling up?" You suggested.

"Perfect!" He exclaimed cheerfully before both of you ventured out into the woods.

You were feeling happy that your first date would be something that both of you would create spontaneously; because if there was something you loved about Darren was his spontaneity and creativity to do something great out of the blue; and if there was something you loved about your relationship was that it always stood out for not being the kind of stereotyped relationship.

"Where are we going?" You asked curiously once that you put on some comfortable clothes, hiking boots, and a bag with all the necessary for hiking.

"Presque Isle River. I hope you're in mood to hike a long way in a pretty hazardous trail." Darren answered and you parted your lips and looked at him stunned.

"You said hazardous trail?" You asked to make sure you heard well.

"Yep. That's what I said." He responded, winking at you and giving you and amused, crooked smirk. "But the sight of the falls from there is well worth the arduous hike."

"You said falls?" You asked again, surprised and kind of excited.

"Are you gonna question that way everything I respond, baby?" Darren asked, letting out a chortle.

"I'm sorry! But you said falls! I didn't know we'd see waterfalls!" You squealed cheerfully, a big smile appearing across your face, something that made him chuckle.

"Baby, we're in the Upper Peninsula, what did you expect?" He asked in sassy way. "If you don't like large wilderness areas, rivers, lakes, waterfalls, woods, and hiking, climbing, and camping, you better don't come to the Upper Peninsula."

"But... I never said I don't like it! I love doing this. I just love being in the middle of the wilderness." You responded, at first frowning and then grinning widely. Darren looked at you and smiled sweetly before putting an arm over your shoulder.

"I know, baby. That's why we're here." He replied, leaning to kiss your temple.

"Not that we are here to make another place somewhere we could call our own?" You asked, an amused smirk crossing your lips.

"Uh, yeah... What better place to call our own than one of the kind of places you love?" He asked with a wink and you couldn't help smiling.

"It should be a kind of place we both love." You responded and he pulled you to him.

"I just love everywhere I'm with you, and more if the place where we are is like out of a fairy tale, like this one." He answered and you grinned fondly at him. Darren could be very sappy and cute, his own way.

"Hmm, fair enough." You said, standing on tiptoe to kiss his lips.

You began to hike holding hands over a trail that was pretty much up and down through high-canopy old-growth forest and over the river cliffs, the steps which went over those cliffs were often the roots of trees and you understood what Darren meant when he said 'hazardous trail'. Nevertheless, you simply couldn't convey the vastness and preciousness of the trail you were touring. The wildflowers were outstanding: The woodland floor was covered primarily with a variety of moss, ferns and mushrooms; and also with Yellow Trout Lilies, Spring Beauties, Dutchman's Breeches and Marsh Marigolds. The forests of virgin maple and hemlock gave more color variety to your hiking, with their foliage the colors of green, yellow, orange, red and even pink and purple. You couldn't believe that a place like this could exist. The sound of birds, owls and pileated woodpeckers pecking away at big holes located on the bottom of trees accompanied your hiking, which was pretty beautiful and peaceful to hear; and you even got to hear some bird sounds you hadn't heard before. At some point a grosbeak landed on your shoulder and Darren and you chuckled softly in order not to scare it off, and Darren got to take a picture of it before it flew off. You even saw lots of deer and some moose, that you wouldn't stop looking fascinated. What scared you was when you saw a black bear, but you didn't have to worry about it because your scream -which echoed through the woods- scared it off; then you regretted when you realized you could have at least taken a picture of it, something that made you feel annoyed with yourself. Darren made sure to make you feel better when he posed as a bear to let you take the picture you wanted, making you laugh out loud. You seriously had the most dork boyfriend in the whole wide world. After hours of hiking, you arrived to the Presque Isle River and while hiking along the river you saw -as Darren promised you you'd see after you complained non-stop about how there wasn't any river and waterfalls- the Manabezha, Manido, and Nawadaha falls, as well numerous other smaller falls. Those were wonderful waterfalls, but what made you feel stupefied by its beauty and strangeness was the part of the Presque Isle River just before it flows into Lake Superior. There the river flowed through a deep gorge and fell over large boulders. It seemed that over the years it has cut deeply into the rock formations, and created large bowls in the riverbed, what Darren explained was commonly known as potholes.

"Damn, Darren. This is gorgeous." You exclaimed agape, admiring the scenery.

"I told you it's well worth the arduous hike." He replied, wrapping his arms around your waist from behind you, resting his chin on your shoulder. "Do you want me to take you a picture in here?" He asked and you turned your gaze to him, finding his bright hazel eyes looking into yours.

"No. I want to take a picture with you in here." You smiled.

"How much will you pay me for that, eh?" He joked and you nudged him as he giggled.

"I think a kiss would be enough payment, Goober Bossynova." You responded, shooting him a seductive look.

"Can you see my point why you are well deserving of your name Cheeky Bossynova?" He chortled, shaking his head. "A kiss? It'll have to be a hell damn of a good kiss, then."

"Are you trying to insinuate that my kisses aren't hell damn of good kisses?" You narrowed your eyes, provocatively raising an eyebrow.

"Why would you always find a way to make me feel that I always make a wrong choice of words?" He puckered his brows and this time it was you the one who laughed. "Just kiss me, goddammit." He groaned and pulled you into an abrupt, deep kiss.

"Wait... Darren, wait..." You uttered while he was kissing you, trying to move away from him; when you got it, he looked at you in frustration and tried desperately to kiss you again, but you stopped him.

"What?" He huffed, staring your lips.

"I was the one supposed to kiss you." You whispered seductively.

When he parted his lips, you turned around to place your hands on the back of his head to pull him to you and kiss him fervently. He quickly continued the kiss and placed his hands on your waist and then moved one hand to your lower back, trying to move you closer to him. That hand soon moved to you buttock and you -instead of stopping him- did the same and moved one hand to his ass, squeezing it softly, letting out a titter in between the kiss. He chuckled and broke the kiss to look at you with a naughty glare.

"Someone is in a dirty playful mood, aren't you, baby?" He teased with a mischievous smirk.

"Don't tell me you didn't like it." You answered with the same impish smirk.

"Oh baby... I loved it." He responded with gruff voice in front of your lips. Then he nibbled your lower lip and tugged at it. "But we're in a riverbed, in the middle of the wilderness... And you if you keep going, I'll inevitably feel aroused... And one thing will lead to another, and I don't want our first time to be right in here." He said and you just listened to him, biting your lips in order not to laugh.

"I see you don't have the kind of wild fantasies." You teased him and he looked at you amused.

"Hmm, trust me... I've got the wildest fantasies, some of them which you'd not want to even picture." He responded with husky voice, making you smirk. Then he cupped your cheek with his hand and his thumb brushed your cheek. "Just not for our first time."

"Oh, you want the romantic way for our first time. Don't tell me it includes all of those cheesy as fuck stuff like making love in a bed covered with rose petals, in the candlelight and with super romantic and sentimental music in the background! You're so fucking cute!" You teased him, even if you thought it was pretty sweet of him to want your first time to be special.

"Shut up." He responded in an amused way, tickling you, even if he blushed a little. "Fuck, I'll have to abort the mission of rose petals and candle lights. Back-up plan." He whispered jokingly and you sniggered.

"You're an adorkable idiot!" You pecked his lips. "Just so you know, I think it's very sweet the fact that you want our first time to be special. I want it, too." You gave him an affectionate smile that was reciprocated. Then you embraced him, resting your head on his chest. "I love you, Darebear."

"I love you, too, my Cheeky Creepy Bossynova." He put a kiss on the top of your head after he enfolded his arms around you. "Now... Would you rather to rest from our hiking or are you up to do another thing, something totally exciting and adventurous?" He asked in a brisk way, looking straight in your eye.

"Please! Let's get adventurous here!" You exclaimed cheerfully.

"Huzzah!" He threw up his fist before taking your hand.

Darren took a picture of the two of you in that place and then he led the way to another place. You walked until your eyes saw a very large lake with clear waters, probably that was the Lake Superior, the one you saw in Pictured Rocks when you went to Munising. It was nice to see another scenic view from this lake. You managed to take a picture before Darren held your hand and made you walk faster. You approached a man who was in a Visitor Center. He made you stay outside while he talked to the man, and you took advantage to look around and take more pictures. After a while, Darren walked out and joined you, with a joyful smile on his face. He didn't tell you anything at all, instead, he took your hand again and led you to the shore of the lake, where few canoes were. You glanced at Darren in suspicion.

"Have you ever gone canoeing, baby?" He asked, sitting on the bow seat of a canoe and offering his hand to invite you to sit in front of him.

"Uh... No." You answered, standing still, not accepting his hand.

"Well, there's always a first time for everything. Isn't it exciting to do something for the first time?" He asked cheery, but you just remained silent, feeling nervous and a bit scared.

"This... This is not exciting. There's a reason why I never went canoeing or things like those. It is because, I don't know if you remember, I can't swim, Darren." You said, your voice trembling a little.

"I remember pretty well that you cannot swim. I also remember that you almost drowned and I rescued you, and I also taught you how to float. So, baby, as long as you are with me, nothing bad will happen; I won't let you drown and I'll rescue you a thousand times if I have to." He answered gently, grinning at you to encourage you. You smiled at how sweet that was, but you still didn't want to get in that canoe. "Besides, this time we will have life jackets." He showed you a pair of orange jackets and then patted the stern seat in front of him. "Come on, baby, it'll be fun. I promise." He looked deeply into your eyes, but you looked down.

"I'm afraid of the water. Seriously." You said almost in a murmur.

"I will make you a deal." He voiced, his voice sounding firm but soft. You looked at him through your eyelashes. "It'll be more like a challenge, named the challenge of facing our fears. If you can beat your fear of water, then it'll be my turn to face one of my fears. When I get to beat that fear, we'll start facing and beating other fears. We'll help each other to become stronger. What do you think?" He proposed, a gentle grin spreading across his face.

"What is your fear?" You asked curiously because you actually couldn't believe he was afraid of something. As you saw it, he was always a very confident, fearless and strong man.

"I have tons of fears." He responded, frowning slightly due to your question, as if it was something silly to ask. "But I'll tell you this. If right now you beat your fear of water, this same day I'll beat my fear of wearing glasses in front of people."

"Why would you be afraid of wearing glasses in front of people?" You narrowed your eyes.

"Well..." He babbled, blushing a little, looking away, and running his fingers through his curls. That made you be sure that he was indeed afraid of it. "It's the fear of ridicule. I mean, I'm afraid people will mock me with laughter because I look totally ridiculous and horrible with glasses. That's why I wear contact lenses. It's silly, I know... But yeah." He winced and you smiled.

"I don't think you'll look ridiculous." You shrugged and he raised an eyebrow.

"That's because you haven't seen me wearing glasses yet. Really, Freckles, I look ridiculous." He answered and you took a step forward.

"Nothing ever could make you look ridiculous, Dare. No matter what you wear, you'll always be handsome. But... If that's your fear, I accept the challenge." You smiled and sat on the stern seat, your heart beating fast. Darren looked up at you surprised and then a wide smile lit up his face.

"Damn. Does it mean I'll really have to wear glasses in front of you today?" He asked and you giggled.

"That's exactly what it means." You responded before pecking his lips.

Even though you were scared as hell of being on a canoe, you accepted the challenge because you liked the idea of you being the one helping Darren to beat one of his fears. Thus, Darren helped you to put on the life jacket and then he handed you one of the paddles. It wasn't until Darren slid the canoe to the water that your body started trembling and you began to feel panicked. Owing to the narrowness of the canoe, you sensed it was very unstable and it could tip you over, and then you would drown. Because of your fear and panic, you couldn't even talk and you were all tensed up. However, when Darren started paddling -without your help, because you couldn't move- and looked at you with a big, encouraging smile, you felt a little less scared. You knew that as long as he was there, you'd be safe. You knew you could beat your fear simply because he was there with you. Therefore, you took a deep breath and started copying the movements he was doing while paddling.

"Yay, Freckles! You're doing it!" Darren squealed enthusiastically and you let out a jittery chuckle. "You can talk, baby. I promise it won't upset the balance of the canoe." He mocked and you shot him a withering look.

"Stop taking advantage to mock me because I'm scared!" You complained and he laughed.

"You spoke! See? Nothing was altered." He continued mocking you. You didn't get angry because you knew he was doing it to make you forget about your fear and to make you feel less strained. "Isn't this totally awesome and funny?"

"Not at all. I feel like I'm going straight to my own death." You answered and he burst out laughing.

"Fuck, Freckles. You're dramatic as hell." He commented.

"Well, I learned that from you." You stuck out your tongue.

"Hmm, you're a good learner. Cheeky Creepy Bossynova, the most skillful drama queen, presents How To Overdramatize Your Life, based on the true-story of a short girl with freckles who thought her life was a series of atrocious deadly events, intensified by the company of a dork guy of questionable sanity." He spoke as though he was a host of a show and you —for the first time since you started paddling— laughed.

Everything turned out nicer and more entertained after Darren made you laugh and forget that you were actually scared of water. He continued joking until you —gradually— felt more confident and relaxed; then you even started enjoying paddling and you questioned yourself why you missed out doing this before because of a stupid fear of water. It came a point that your arms started hurting owing to the paddling, so Darren and you decided to rest a little. You were very far from the shore and no other canoes were around. It was just Darren and you in middle of the calm lake. It felt like a secret place.

"So? How does it feel to have beaten one of your biggest fears?" Darren suddenly asked, a proud smile crossing his lips.

"Very good, indeed. Thanks for doing this, Darebear. Even though it might seem silly, it means a lot to me." You smiled fondly at him.

"It's not silly. You should feel proud of yourself. Not everybody is capable of beating a fear as easily as you did." He answered and you couldn't help feeling accomplished. "Don't you have like this feeling of success, of victory now that you've beaten one of your fears?" He asked and you tilted your head and frowned slightly.

"Yes, actually, I feel kind of successful. It feels kinda amazing." You answered, showing him a wide smile.

"That's the thing with beating fears. It makes us feel victorious, because beating a fear is indeed a success, I believe." He said and you nodded in agreement. Then he fixed his gaze on your eyes. "And you know? We can build upon each success, like we can use it as a stepping stone to the next victory, namely, to conquer another fear."

"Yeah, I think so..." You whispered and narrowed your eyes.

You knew him and you knew he was saying those things because he wanted to get to one point, but he didn't know how to start a conversation about it, so you let him speak.

"Don't you think you could use this success to propel yourself forward and beat another fear that is holding you back from living your life to the fullest and happily?" He asked and you looked down and brought your lower lip into your mouth.

"I don't know what you mean." You whispered, playing fool.

You didn't want to go there where Darren wanted to get, because it involved feeling it all over again just when you managed to forget about it ever since you came to this place. You came here to disconnect from your current reality, not to face it. You didn't see Darren leaning in to hold your hands; and when you looked up, he was looking at you deeply into your eyes, a sad and crooked smile on his face.

"Baby, both you and I know what I am talking about. You have a fear that is distressing you and holding you back from being happy. All of us can notice it, baby, even Greg." Darren said gently and you looked away, feeling the anguish in your chest again.

"Is this the reason why you took me to this place? Have they told you to talk to me about this? Is that why you made me get into this canoe to beat my obvious fear of water and then have the perfect chance to talk about fears and all that jazz?" You asked, letting out a short titter before biting your lips and shaking slowly your head.

"Partly." He answered bluntly. "We worry about you and we want to help you."

"And here I was... Thinking that we were here to have a weekend to be alone, you and I; to spend more time together and give us the chance to forget about all the bad and enjoy our relationship; to find a place somewhere only we know." You whispered sadly. "But no... It was just a plan that you and our friends have worked out to make me think about the bad... You wanted to take me to a place from where I couldn't escape."

"No, it's not so like that, baby." Darren responded and you glanced at him. He seemed to be honest, but you were still feeling bad for having realized that being in this place wasn't because of the reasons you thought. "I could have talked to you about this in Ann Arbor, without the need to come here. We are here because I did want to spend time with you alone and find a place we can make our own. But I just found this chance to talk about this now, taking advantage that we're alone and we can talk about it quietly, with nobody and nothing interrupting us; somewhere you can feel safe and comfortable enough, not somewhere from where you can't escape. You know I will never force you to do or say something you don't want. I just want to help you, baby, not to make you feel like you have no way out with me." He said in a whisper, his voice sounding a bit distressed.

When he put it like that, you felt bad again; but this time it wasn't because you were somehow let down; quite the contrary, it was because you made him feel like you were thinking that you were trapped with him. And you appreciated his thought of talking to you in a place where you could be alone with the person you trusted the most now.

"I'm sorry, Dare. I don't want you to think that I feel like I have no way out with you. I truly appreciate all you've done, it's very sweet of you. And I know you want to help me because you worry about me. But if I cannot help myself, how could you help me?" You looked afflicted into his hazel eyes.

"I know how to help you; because when it comes to fears, it's always better if you have someone you can lean on. Probably I won't be able to help you overcome your fears because that's something only you can do, but I'll be able to guide you on what you can do to overcome them." He responded softly.

You felt very touched by what he said; it was something selfless and lovely from him. But you were scared of your fears. That was the problem. How could you overcome a fear if you were even frightened of facing a fear? Yet, there was Darren, looking at you with hopeful eyes, wanting to help you without expecting anything in return. And the least you wanted was to disappoint the one person you loved the most; you didn't want to disappoint Darren the same way you disappointed Brian.

"Alright." You took a deep breath before looking at him again. "I will take your help. But you must know that I have no idea how to do this thing of beating a fear." You added and you saw how a smile made his eyes sparkle.

"I know how, baby." He quickly pecked your lips and then looked at you intently. "First, you gotta acknowledge your fear. This is a huge first step. If you do just this today, you've done something great. Many of us have these fears, but they are at the back of our mind, unnoticed, unacknowledged, as we try to ignore them and pretend they're not there. But they are there. And they affect us, every day, all our lives. So acknowledge the fear." He said and you looked down, trying to acknowledge your fear as he said. You remained a long time in silence, until Darren spoke again. "So?"

"I don't know… I'm not sure I can do this." You let out a sigh, trying your best to avoid Darren's gaze. Truth was that you weren't sure if you wanted to tell someone about your fears, despite this person was Darren. "I only know that my monsters do not sleep under my bed. My monsters are in my head. And they never sleep." You whispered, clasping your hands together, playing with your fingers. When you glanced at him, you noticed he was looking at you as though he knew pretty well what was going on your mind.

"I know you don't want to tell anyone how you feel because you think your mind is the safest place to hide it. But every time we choose safety, we reinforce fear. Having the fear is natural. Letting it stop you from going after your dreams is a tragedy." He said and you looked at him distressed, also scared. It was scary how much he knew you; it was scary what was going on your mind and it was scary to face this. "Okay, I'll tell you what." He said, grabbing his bag to take something out. It was a paper and a pen. You scowled when Darren handed it to you. What did that mean? "Write it down. What's your fear? Write it on this piece of paper." He said and you took it shyly. Honestly, that wouldn't help. "Writing it down not only acknowledges that you have it, bringing it out into the light, but it externalizes the fear. It takes the fear from the dark lurking places in the back of your mind, where it has power over you, out into the light of day, outside of you, where you have power over the fear. Take control over it by writing it down." He encouraged in a brisk way.

You stared at the piece of paper and you remained still for a while, thinking whether you should do it or not, whether it'd help as much as he said or not. But he was helping you and telling you a way you could do this, when you didn't have a damn idea of how to do it, so you should probably do what he said. You knew he wanted the best for you, not the worst. Therefore, you wrote it down. Now you didn't know if you should show him what you wrote or not, or even if he wanted to read it or not. So you waited until he realized you were finished. He directed a wide smile to you that made you feel less afflicted.

"It is now outside you. You can do something about it." He exclaimed promisingly and you grinned faintly at him. Maybe this was indeed a big step and maybe it would indeed help you. "I'd personally like to crumple it up and stomp on it, but you can do whatever you like."

"You don't want me to show it to you?" You asked curiously, perhaps as asking him the permission to let you tell him about this. You thought that maybe if you told this to him, it'd help you more; but you didn't want to bug him.

"I didn't tell you to do it so that you could tell me about it. But if you decide to tell me, then I'd feel highly appreciated and cherished." He answered and you looked down and pursed your lips.

"I want to tell you. But I don't know how to explain it." You whispered, looking at the calm water of the lake.

"You can start telling me how you're feeling; because most of our fears are result of our feelings." He responded softly.

You nodded and remained silent for a while. It was time to be completely honest, to just open your heart up with your boyfriend. Although your mind was your safest place as Darren said, you knew your feelings and fears would be safe with him, too. You took a deep breath, sticking your arm out the canoe to gently wave your hand in the cold water.

"Sometimes I think I'm happy. Like when I'm with my friends, throwing my head back and covering my mouth as I laugh out loud for a joke that someone made." You started and looked how your hand moving was rippling the water. "But then the day becomes night and my carefree smile becomes an inexplicable sadness etched on my face as a tattoo. And I go to bed thinking about all the things I'd like to say and all that I'm afraid to admit, even just in my mind. It's on nights like these when I realize that I am several things. I'm sad and I'm happy, outgoing and shy, quiet and rebel. But mostly I realize I'm empty. I'm hollow." You said in a whisper, still playing with the water, but absently staring at it because you were deep in thought. "And one day, as if nothing would have happened, you sit down and watch. Everything has changed, the sky has no longer its natural color, people are other kind of people, and what about you? What are you? It's simple... You are that who is there watching how things go by, and then you sit down to watch and, in a blink, everything, absolutely everything has changed." Your eyes glistened with tears, but you didn't let your tears fall. You could sense Darren's glare fixed on you, but you didn't mind. You were just staring blankly the movement of the water with your hand.

"When you say everything has changed, does it have something to do with Brian?" Darren asked and you brought a sad smile onto your face.

"Yes." You uttered with heaviness, sensing how you were about to vent out all you've been holding back inside. "He was gone in the blink of an eye. There were no warnings, no anticipation, no signs; anything at all. One morning he was alive and kicking and at the end of the day he was gone. We didn't have the chance to say goodbye, even if we did it allegorically. Whenever I thought about my future, he was part of it; I had a lot of things pending to do with him that I always postponed, things that I'd never be able to do now. And I still want to do with him all things we didn't get to do. That's what I want. I want him to see my letters, to read me one more time. Just that. I just want him to see how hurt I am to have lost him, how alone I feel without him writing me. I want him to see how much I miss him. I want him to know that I still love him. Only that. I want him to see my feelings. But that won't ever happen, because he's dead. And when he died I realized how important he was for me; I experienced pain, sadness and loneliness, dark loneliness." Your voice sounded throaty. You wanted to cry to release the pain, but you couldn't, because you were empty. You stayed silent for a while, now observing your reflection in the water. "It's said that when you love someone deeply, seriously, entirely, that person always returns no matter what, but that's not true. Brian will never return." You sighed and the water was rippled, making your reflection be blurred, just as you were feeling. "It's also said that we die twice. The first time is when you stop breathing, and the second, a little later, is when someone pronounces your name for the last time. And I don't want to pronounce Brian's name for the last time." You ran your finger across the surface of the lake, constantly repeating Brian's name in your mind. Then the fear began to take over you, starting by a sense of pressure in your chest, making your heart pound fiercely. "I'm scared that one day I will find the way to live without him, that one day happiness will find me and I won't need him in my life anymore, and that would be the last time I'd say his name, and then forget him. I'm scared of forgetting him. I'm scared of saying his name for the last time." You finally confessed. Nevertheless, you were still feeling a heaviness of heart. It didn't work as you expected. You sighed in frustration and shook your head. "I know I shouldn't think and feel so much. I just complicate things. But I can't help it." You huffed, closing your eyes and running a hand over your face before looking at Darren again.

He was staring intently at you with a hint of distress. He remained silent for a long time and you knew it was probably because he wasn't expecting to hear from you something like this, so that he didn't know what to do or say. Maybe he became conscious that he couldn't help you, because there was nothing that could help you and your chaotic mind and emotions. However, it surprised you when he spoke again.

"Feel the fear." He said and you puckered your brows. This was the less you were expecting to hear from him.

"What?" You asked in confusion. "I just told you what my fears are."

"You've acknowledged it, but you're still afraid of it." He pointed out and you lowered your gaze to start playing with your fingers. "You're reluctant to even have this fear, perhaps even embarrassed about it. Well, no more. Recognize that you're not alone, that we all have these fears. Repeat after me: there's nothing wrong with having this fear." He said and you glanced at him with your lips parted to figure out if he really wanted you to do it. Well, it seemed he wanted because he gestured with his hands.

"There's nothing wrong with having this fear." You repeated lowly. He grinned affectionately as a way to congratulate you and then he looked deeply into your eyes.

"Now allow yourself to feel it. Experience it fully. Bask in this fear. It isn't as bad as you think. It's a part of you, but it doesn't control you." He said, piercing your eyes with his steady stare.

You started feeling a bit nervous, thinking that you couldn't do it, that you actually didn't want to do it because you didn't want to feel that deep sadness and that dark loneliness all over again, so you had to look down in order to avoid Darren's gaze that was trying to encourage you to do it. You promised Brian that you would be happy, so you couldn't succumb to despair and sorrow again. But then you thought that you already broke your last pinky promise with Brian because you weren't completely happy and you weren't living your life to the fullest; you were just pretending it because you didn't want to break the promise. When you came to realization that you broke this pinky promise and there won't be another chance to make another one, when you thought about your fears, you felt a tremendous tightness in the chest, a tightness that seemed wasn't affecting any physical organ, but that was almost suffocating, unbearable. There, in the chest near the throat, there was probably your soul, crushed, busted, torn apart. Then that sneaky, grievous, heavy tear that you couldn't let fall finally escaped the corner of your eye and left a wet trace until it dripped into your mouth. It was a single tear but it counted like a stream of tears in regard to how hurtful, distressed, and heartbroken it made you feel. Your eyes were filled with tears, but they couldn't stream down; until you remembered the night when you read the last letter Brian wrote to you and how the image of his face vanished little by little, until it disappeared completely. Then you felt your fear of forgetting him, you felt it right in your chest, in your heart, in your soul. You experienced that fear fully, you basked in it. And finally you took a deep breath and remembered what Darren said: the fear was part of you, but it couldn't control you.

"You're feeling it." Darren intuited and concluded. You looked up at him through your tears and made a big effort to bring a smile before nodding. He smiled with kindness and gratification. "Now prepare yourself for battle, the battle of beating your fear. Then, banish all thoughts of the future, banish thoughts of past, and focus on right now. Do something right now to beat your fears, to pursue your dreams. Just do it, now, in the moment." He encouraged and you looked away, troubled.

"I don't know what to do." You whispered ashamed, now feeling scared for this, too.

"Just take one little baby step. Something you know you can do. Something you're sure to succeed at." He answered and you pouted afflicted.

"I don't know." You repeated, feeling insecure. "I feel like I cannot succeed at anything because I don't know what I can do." You said frustrated, feeling like you were disappointing him.

"Do you need me to help you out with that?" He asked and you glanced at him timidly and nodded. He stayed silent for a while, just looking into your eyes, probably thinking about what to tell you, until he leaned forward to hold both of your hands. "There are moments in life when we think we've fallen into a deep dark hole from where we'll never get to get out, as if a bomb had exploded on us and destroyed our lives. Everything we've experienced so far collapses and disappears off the face of the earth; and then we wonder what will become of us, how we will manage to smile again." He said and now you looked at him shamelessly. You were feeling related to that feeling. "Worst of all is that we go out and see that people are still laughing, children are still playing in the park, and couples are still kissing like there's no tomorrow. And seeing other people happy makes you think that you also were happy, until something took your happiness away, bringing your sadness. Nothing has changed, everything remains the same, only you're different." He continued and stopped to squeeze your hands. You parted your lips slightly, feeling impressed that he hit on the spot and acknowledged exactly what you were feeling. "It's impossible not to feel destroyed when a person we love with the heart passes away, even if one wants to smile at life. But life goes on. And we must learn that in life, when you fall, you gotta get up, and get up stronger, learning how to live with our pain. You taught me that." He said with absolute clarity, placing his forefinger on your heart. He smiled sweetly and then moved his hand to your jaw to brush his thumb across your cheek. "You were the one who taught me how to face my fear of admitting Brian's death and you were the one who made me realize that I could beat that fear and be happy if I only learned to accept my pain and live with it. So, that's what you can do, that's what you're good at, that's how you'll succeed. It was deep inside you all along, only that you haven't realized it yet. Now it's time to do it, you can do it." He encouraged you as you were looking at him agape; your eyes filling with tears again, but this time out of thrill. "Take that baby step of accepting that you can beat your fears by accepting your pain and learning how to live with it. Then feel good about that and take another small baby step. Keep doing this, and soon you'll have conquered your fears. And then celebrate every single thing you do right, even the smallest little thing. And use this feeling of success, of victory, to propel yourself forward and take the next step." He finished saying, still running his fingers through your cheek.

You were just there, with the soul bare, staring at each other. You looked at yourself through his eyes. He knew your past, your present and your future. You whispered him your fears and you shouted him your dreams. You showed him all of your weaknesses. And he stayed. That was when you understood that true love isn't finding the perfect person; true love is loving the imperfect person, perfectly, just as he loved you and as you loved him.

"You know?" You finally spoke with brittle voice but with a fond smile. "All my life I've been looking for someone who could complete me, like the love of my life who could complete my missing piece. Then I found you and I realized that the love of my life is not someone who can complete me, but it is someone who can accept me with all my missing pieces; someone who can understand me fully and explain me that it's okay to be destroyed. And here you have me; reopening my heart, restoring me." A tear dripped from your eye, but it was because you were feeling sensitive and moved. He wiped the tear away with his thumb and smiled warmly. "I remember once I said to myself that I will never love someone again. Well, you are more than someone. You are the only one who was able to reopen my heart and restore me whole with my missing pieces. Thanks for making me feel so good. Thanks for loving me, even in my worst." Your voice cracked but you managed to give him a wholehearted and grateful smile.

"And thank you for letting me love you." He responded before he leaned to kiss your lips tenderly. Then he parted and stroked your hair. "Do you realize that you've beaten two of your fears in one afternoon?" He asked with a bright beam.

"Thanks to you. You're magical, Criss." You chuckled softly.

"I'm a wizard, baby." He winked and you laughed.

You actually laughed, authentically. You didn't forget Brian, but you were happy, too. You finally found the balance you've been looking for ever since Brian passed away. You looked at Darren's hazel eyes and you knew you found this balance because he was your balance. And you wondered if he would ever become aware of what he was doing to you, of what he meant to you. It was already dark when you returned to the rustic cabin. Before you could get comfortable by sitting down on the couch, Darren took your hand and forced you to go out again, after he stuffed something on his backpack.

"Darren, are we really gonna tour the place this late in the night?" You asked when you were walking and Darren was lighting the way with a flashlight.

"Hell yeah. This place we're going to must be visited at night." He responded with a bright smile on his face.

"Why?" You asked intrigued.

"You'll see, baby. And you won't regret to have escaped the couch." He looked at you radiantly and then returned his gaze to the path.

"I trust you." You grinned and kissed his shoulder.

After half an hour, you arrived to another area of the beach of Lake Superior. While Darren was placing a blanket on the sand, you looked all around but you couldn't find anything unusual and too interesting for him to say that you wouldn't regret escaping the couch. When he sat down on the blanket, he patted next to him to indicate you to sit beside him. When you did it, he wrapped an arm around you and pecked your lips.

"I think it'd be a great idea to lie down and just watch up the sky." He suggested and you smiled.

"Yeah, I think we can do that." You answered.

When both you and Darren lay down on the blanket, he pulled out another blanket from his backpack and covered both of you with it. You snuggled up to each other to be closer and feel warmer in the cold night; you held hands and intertwined fingers and legs. And both of you looked up the sky. It was a clear night and trillions of stars were shining in the dark sky. You forgot how beautiful it was to stargaze into the wild; the stars were more noticeable and they looked bigger and brighter. This was probably why Darren told you that you wouldn't regret escaping the couch; he knew how much you loved watching the stars. You stayed very silent but very close; there was no need of talking, both of you were aware that you were next to the other, connected. You stayed up after dark and kept an eye on the northern horizon. And suddenly —in the pitch-black night— you saw a cosmic light show that was quite brilliant. The lights appeared green, pink, red, yellow, blue and violet in the dark and absolute clear sky. It was unbelievable. If you already loved stargazing, it upgraded to a complete new level after seeing this. You were just treated to a light show you'd never forget. You could stay hours on stargazing mesmerized the Northern Lights until the sunrise with Darren lying beside you, holding your hand and breathing next to you; and nothing would ever make you feel more emotionally fulfilled. You were right all along: You were trapped in a fairy tale —the best of all. You started feeling your eyes moist owing to the beauty of what your eyes were seeing. Then you sensed Darren's stare in your direction and —when you decided to take your eyes off the enthralling colorful sky to look at the boy next to you— you found Darren looking fixedly at you, his lips slightly parted, his face reflecting peacefulness, and his hazel eyes glowing as though he was captivated by you stargazing. And you were the one who was bewitched at how dreamy Darren looked under the colorful and shiny lights.

"You're so beautiful." Darren whispered, still with his enraptured gaze.

"You are beautiful. This whole place and Northern Lights are beautiful. This whole moment is beautiful, being here with you... It's one of the most perfect moments of my life." You answered with soft voice, smiling fondly at him. He finally closed his mouth to curl up the corners of his mouth. He moved his face closer to yours to give you a tender kiss on the lips.

"I wish I could stay here with you forever." He voiced in front of your lips, gently stroking your hair.

You just remained looking deeply into his sparkling hazel eyes, seeing his face the color of green and pink, feeling a sheer peace of mind you really haven't felt the last months. Only Darren was capable of making you feel this; this lightheartedness and well-being, this desire of wanting to be happy and indeed getting it without feeling guilty. He was the one who could give you hope in the darkness that you could even see the light. He held you still and buried your broken heart next to his. Without saying anything at all, he promised you that you'll be alright, and that was enough reason for you to hold as long as he liked. And suddenly, you felt how the ghosts, monsters and fears that you knew flickered from view.

"I love you so much." You closed your eyes and kissed his soft, warm lips before snuggling up to him. You stayed like this in silence for a while until you felt Darren's heart beating fast, so you glanced at him.

"Baby?" He asked before you could ask him what was wrong because his eyes were teary. When the corners of his lips rose, you knew that the tears in his eyes were because he was thrilled.

"Yeah?" You asked curiously and he just pointed one bright, big star with his forefinger, making you shift your gaze.

"It was when Jim shot Sawyer." He started and you frowned slightly, not getting why he was bringing this back again. "Zoey, that little girl who Brian met in the orphanage, was there. And Brian told her that if he happened to die, he'd be an angel that would watch her from the sky. And when Sawyer died, she told Brian that he didn't have to say goodbye, because he didn't lose him, because Sawyer was watching him. Then she pointed up the sky and said that Sawyer was a star now, she pointed the biggest and brightest star and said that was Sawyer. There, look at that star..." Darren said, making you look the star he was pointing. "I'm pretty sure that star, the biggest and brightest star, is Brian. And we don't have to say goodbye, because he is right there, watching us." He finished saying with a warm smile as you looked at him with your eyes flooded with tears of thrill.

"What a bright star!" You managed to utter with your choked voice, before rolling onto your side to hug him very tightly. And you thanked for having Darren in your life, the one who knew what to say, the one who could understand your feelings, the one who was feeling the same than you.

You stayed there until it cleared up and the Northern Lights and stars faded away slowly. You returned to the rustic cabin in silence, with no rush, holding hands and sharing some affectionate smiles and glances from time to time. When you arrived, neither of you went to bed, neither of you wanted to do it. Instead, you sat down on the couch, in front of the fireplace, and Darren began to play the guitar he brought. Both of you were distracted, in your own minds, until Darren fixed his stare on you and played one particular song on his guitar. Without even the need to say it, you knew he dedicated that song to you.

Your eyes they tie me down so hard

I'll never learn to put up a guard

So keep my love, my candle bright

Learn me hard, oh learn me right

This ain't no sham

I am what I am

Though I may speak some tongue of old

Or even spit out some holy word

I have no strength from which to speak

When you sit me down, and see I'm weak

We will run and scream

You will dance with me

They'll fulfill our dreams and we'll be free

And we will be who we are

And they'll heal our scars

Sadness will be far away

So as we walked through fields of green

Was the fairest sun I'd ever seen

And I was broke, I was on my knees

And you said yes as I said please

This ain't no sham

I am what I am

I leave no time

For a cynic's mind

We will run and scream

You will dance with me

Fulfill our dreams and we'll be free

We will be who we are

And they'll heal our scars

Sadness will be far away

Do not let my fickle flesh go to waste

As it keeps my heart and soul in its place

And I will love with urgency but not with haste

You smiled at him and leaned in to run your fingers through his curls as he planted a kiss on your jaw. You took his guitar that was separating both of you, so then you brought your feet to the couch and rested your back on his chest as he enfolded his arms around you, placing his chin on your shoulder. Instead of putting the guitar aside, you began to play it awkwardly inasmuch as you never learned to play it properly. He helped you a little with the chords and you giggled and thanked him. Once you felt a bit more confident, you began to play the song you wanted to sing to him.

You saw my pain, washed out in the rain

Broken glass, saw the blood run from my veins

But you saw no fault no cracks in my heart

And you knelt beside my hope torn apart

But the ghosts that we knew will flicker from view

And we'll live a long life

So give me hope in the darkness that I will see the light

Cause oh they gave me such a fright

But I will hold as long as you like

Just promise me we'll be alright

So lead me back

Turn south from that place

And close my eyes to my recent disgrace

Cause you know my call

And we'll share my all

And our children come, they will hear me roar

So give me hope in the darkness that I will see the light

Cause oh they gave me such a fright

But I will hold as long as you like

Just promise me that we'll be alright

But hold me still bury my heart on the coast

And hold me still bury my heart next to yours

So give me hope in the darkness that I will see the light

Cause oh they gave me such a fright

And I will hold on with all of my might

Just promise me that we'll be alright

But the ghosts that we knew will flicker from view

And we'll live a long life

You finished the song, turning your head to look into Darren's eyes. You wished he could understand what he meant to you by means of that song and all the implicit words it implied. You thought you succeed when he put the guitar aside and cupped your jaw with his hand and told you:

"I promise you that we'll be alright and we'll live a long life."

You looked deeply into his piercing hazel eyes in a very thankful way. Such was the intensity of your stares that the space that was distancing you felt like an abyss and the attraction between the two of you was immense. And you enjoyed the sort of unhallowed thrill you experienced when you leaned in and closed up the space between you. You rested your forehead against his and your nose brushed his very gently as both of you lowered your gazes to look at each other's mouths. His skin was hot against your face. You placed one hand on the nape of his neck and began to massage his scalp a bit as he closed his eyes and grinned with pleasure. In the meantime —with his hand that was still cupping your jaw— Darren slowly ran his fingers up and down your jawline. You shut your eyes and delicately touched his lips with yours; at first you just brushed his lips, enjoying their warmness and softness; then you kissed them tenderly. You felt his chest move slowly as he breathed softly. Then he lingered his hand steady on your jaw and brought your face closer to his to kiss you back just as tenderly. He pressed his fingertips on your jaw as he kissed you more intensely. He brought his right warm hand up to cup your left cheek while your right hand eventually found its way into his dark locks as you tugged on the ends of hair causing him to moan into the kiss. He pulled back briefly for air but his lips found yours quickly right after. You felt the tip of his tongue trace your bottom lip slowly as if asking for access which you granted. His tongue dipped into your mouth, slightly brushing against your tongue briefly. Darren pulled away from your lips allowing you to gasp for air as he trailed kisses down your neck. You quickly caught your breath, and you felt your lips grow swollen from the kiss as you had your eyes closed, enjoying way too much the way he was kissing your neck; it was your weakness. His lips reached yours again and you locked lips as the fierceness of the kiss grew. You felt his hand find its way underneath your shirt, and began to trail up slowly, causing you to shiver. He pulled away from the kiss suddenly, and trailed kisses down your face until he found your neck again. He kissed the skin sweetly, leaving his lips there a moment before pulling away slowly. He then kissed the area above it and bit it softly, causing you to let out a moan. His nibbling stopped, and licked the bitten area before pulling away from your neck. He already found out how much you loved being kissed there and he made sure to make you enjoy it. When a moan escaped from your mouth, your lips pressed against his roughly, this time as he leaned down to lay on your back gently. Darren was now hovering over you, propping himself up on his right hand that was above your head. His left leg was rested between yours, and his right was on the outside of them. His left hand began to trail up your hip slowly, raising your loose shirt to expose your skin. Your lips never left his as his hand continued to trail up until finally cupping your ribs that were below your right breast. When he returned his lips to your neck, his fingers squeezed the padding of your bra softly as he sucked on the crook of your neck. You couldn't help but let out a soft moan, and you felt his lips curl into a smile against your skin. Your teeth sunk into your bottom lip in pleasure as his two fingers began to gently pinch your nipple through the padding. His hand then found its way around your back, and rested on the clipping of your bra. His lips then came up, and found yours once again as he fumbled with the clip. He finally got the clip undone, and the bra sprung open letting your breasts fall out down slightly. Darren pulled away from the kiss and rested his forehead on yours as he brought his hand up to cup your exposed breast. A moan escaped through your lips softly as he began to knead your breast. His lips pressed against yours once again, leaving a sweet peck before he pulled away roughly. You then sat up quickly, and pulled your shirt over your head and threw it to the side of you along with your dark black bra. Darren's hands grabbed your hips roughly, and his lips smashed against yours as he let out a soft growl. You moaned in the kiss loudly as his left hand went up, and squeezed your right breast. His right hand rested on the back of your thigh, and squeezed your leg gently before his mouth trailed down your neck, and kissed the area between your breasts. His hand then left your skin, and was quickly replaced by his warm mouth. His tongue slowly flickered across your nipple, causing it to harden in his mouth as a soft moan escaped from your mouth. His right hand then came up, and began to knead your other breast as you let out a loud gasp. You arched your back up in pleasure, and Darren switched over to suck on your second breast, harder this time. You sunk your teeth into your bottom lip hard as a moan muffled through your lips. Darren's right hand went down and grabbed your butt hard, squeezing it through your leggings, causing you squeal. You felt him laugh against your skin softly as his mouth left your breast, and began to trail kisses down your stomach. The cool air hit the wetness of your skin as Darren's hand grabbed the top of your waistband tightly. He kissed the exposed area below your belly button. He tugged on your leggings gently, and you sat up quickly causing him to pull away from your skin. He looked up at you with lust in his eyes, and you smiled big as you crashed your lips to his. Your hands gripped his hair tightly before you pulled away from his mouth with your foreheads continuing to touch. Your hands then fumbled with the buttons of his pink gingham shirt until it was fully unopened, and he shook it off his shoulder. Then he took off his black t-shirt and tossed it aside. You took a moment to observe his bare chest and place your hands on it to softly caress it, feeling the warmth of his skin. Darren fiercely crashed his lips to yours once again, and your hands instantly gripped his dark curls as he pushed you back down once again. His warm body was hovering yours and you felt the light touch of his chest brushing against yours. Your hands fell from his hair down to the buckle of his belt as you unbuckled it quickly. Once unbuckled, you pulled it out of the loops of his jeans. Darren's hands were now holding your breasts slowly as your fingers looped around the loops of his jeans. You then tugged on them roughly, causing his hips to dip into yours. You felt the hardness of his erection through his jeans brush against you, making you moan in the kiss. You pulled away from Darren's lips gasping for breath as you looked down at the button of his jeans.

"Off." You whispered with husky voice, unbuttoning the button of his jeans. Darren looked lustfully into your eyes, his mouth swollen and slightly parted as he was panting.

"Are you... sure you want to... keep going?" His voice sounded gruff. You smiled at him and fondled his cheek as you nodded.

"You and I both wanted our first time to be special. And this is a very special moment." You answered in a whisper as his hazel eyes twinkled in the light of the fireplace.

You watched as he unzipped his zipper, pushing his jeans down, exposing his black boxers. You could see the erection through the fabric as you watched Darren kick his jeans off his feet. He looked up at you with a smile before kissing you once again. His hand was now in your hair, gripping the ends softly as he jerked his hips against yours. You gasped in front of his lips before his tongue began to dance with yours as he pulled down your leggings, slightly exposing the top of your light pink underwear. Darren pulled his lips away from yours and looked down at it. He let out a soft chuckle once he saw your underwear, causing you to blush.

"I love pink." He told you, feeling his warm breath on your lips as a small smile grew on your face.

He looked back down at your leggings and grabbed the sides tightly before pulling on them. You arched your hips up, allowing him to pull them off you, leaving you in nothing but underwear. Darren crawled down just a few inches away from your underwear, and kissed the inside of your thigh sweetly. He looked up at you with love in his eyes before looking back down at your skin. His lips trailed up from the inside of your thigh to the top of it before pulling his lips away. He then grabbed the sides of your underwear, tugging on them softly, asking for access. You then arched your hips up with your whole weight on your back as he pulled your underwear down, gently revealing your wet smooth pussy. Darren pulled your underwear off completely, tossing them to his side before looking into your eyes. You felt extremely exposed and shy, just as you felt when you were in high school; this was the first time you were completely naked in front of him since that time and you were always a bit nervous about it, because all you wanted was him to think you were pretty enough.

"You're flawless, baby." He mumbled sweetly as though he could notice your insecurity.

Darren pecked your lips before going down to your stomach to place a series of small kisses from there to the top of your pelvis. Then he slowly trailed his kisses down. His hand came up and grabbed your inner thigh tightly, causing you to gasp loudly in surprise. He then pushed your thigh, making you open your legs up so he could get a better taste. A small smile grew on his face as he leaned forward kissing the inside sweetly. A soft moan escaped your lips as Darren licked your clit slowly. You then fell back slowly where you were laying on your back fully. Darren's hands came up to grab your thighs tightly as he continued to stroke your clit with his tongue. You began to moan louder, and your fingernails clawed at the couch cushions as he sucked on your skin. Your back arched in pleasure, and you felt Darren's hand leave one of your thighs. Darren then licked one finger, quickly getting it wet before tracing your opening slowly. He then pushed the tip of his finger inside your entrance, causing you to moan softly. His finger began to push inside you deeper, causing your moans to grow louder until it was finally all the way in. Darren froze for a minute, letting his finger adjust before he began to pump. He brought his mouth back down, and began to lick your juices as his finger worked your opening. Your back arched in pleasure and you moaned louder as one of your hands found its way into his hair. This pump grew faster and you began to grip the ends of his dark curly hair. You bit your bottom lip hard and tugged on Darren's hair roughly, causing him to growl against your clit. Darren's pumps then stopped, and his finger let your entrance, allowing you to catch your breath. He then sucked on his finger, licking off all the juices before pushing himself up and pressing his lips to yours once again. You moaned into his mouth and your fingers gripped his hair tightly as you sat up and your chest pressed against his. Darren's hands grabbed the back of your thighs tightly, and pulled you on top of him as he sat on his butt. You were now straddling him and you let his hard erection press against your opening as you grinded against him. Your lips never left his while you moved your hand from his hair to stoke his erection. You pulled your lips away from his, gasping for breath as you pressed your forehead against him. You began to stroke faster, and you felt his warm hands grab your hips tightly, giving them a squeeze. A deep grunt escaped from his mouth and your strokes began to die down. Your hand then trailed from his erection to the side of his boxers. Your fingers then gripped the waistband tightly, tugging on them roughly. Your eyes met Darren's lust filled ones and you bit your bottom lip. Darren pushed himself off the couch with one hand as he pulled his underwear down. Once they were at his feet, he kicked them off. Darren's hard erection was now exposed, and your left hand began to stroke it gently. Darren moaned loudly, and his fingers dug into the couch cushions as he threw his head back in pleasure. Your fingers wrapped around his hard shaft, and you began to pump. Darren's jaw clenched tightly and his eyes snapped shut as his hands closed into tight fists. He let out a soft moan and you began to pump faster. Darren let out a deep breath before opening his eyes to stare at you intensely. His eyes were full of lust and your pumps began to slow down as your lips pressed against his. Your pumping finally stopped completely, and you grabbed the end of this cock gently. You then squeezed the tip, causing Darren to moan loudly. You pushed yourself up on your knees softly and then aligned his large dick in line with your entrance. You ran the tip up and down your clit slowly before it entered you. You sunk your teeth into your bottom lip hard in pleasure as you sat down his length slowly. You moaned softly, and Darren's hands dug into the couch cushions once again as he entered you completely. You bit your lip hard, holding back a loud moan as your hands came up and grabbed tightly Darren's shoulders. You sat there for a moment, allowing yourself to adjust while you were looking at Darren deeply into his hazel eyes. You lifted yourself slowly, then taking his length once again. Your nails began to dig into Darren's skin as your jaw clenched tightly in pleasure. You felt your walls clench on his cock tightly as you began to bounce slowly. Darren's hands came up and grabbed your hips, suddenly causing you to gasp loudly as you threw your head back. Your eyes snapped shut and your fingers came up to tug on his curls. Darren's face nuzzled into the crook of your neck as his rhythm began to get faster. His nails dug into your sides lightly and your grip on his hair got tighter. You looked down at him and he kept his eyes shut as he continued to pump. You felt Darren place a sweet kiss on your collarbone when his pumps got faster. You let out a loud moan and one of Darren's hands came up to grope your breast gently. You kept a steady rhythm and Darren's head came up before he pressed his lips against yours. You moaned in his mouth as his tongue danced with yours and his pumps got faster. Your chest began to get sweaty as it rubbed against Darren's with every pump. Darren's lips then pulled away from yours, trailing kisses down your neck until they stopped on your collarbone and he sucked the skin. You bounced on his cock faster and you felt Darren growl against your chest before biting it hard, making you gasp in pleasure. Suddenly Darren's grips on your hips got tightly and he pushed you back on the couch, unexpectedly causing you to gasp loudly. You were now laying on your back out of breath as Darren hovered over you with a smirk. His eyes were still dark with lust and you could see light wetness on his brows from sweat. He was holding his body weight up with one hand above your head while his other repositioned himself in you. Once his tip was inside you, he gently thrust his hips forward, causing you to moan. Darren continued to enter you until his full length was inside you. You felt your walls clench around his cock as you arched your back up in pleasure. Your hands were clawing on his back lightly as he pulled himself out and thrust into you once again. This made you moan a little bit louder and your grip on his skin got tighter. He then began to pump slowly and your heels dug into the couch as he did so. You felt Darren sink his body down so his chest rubbed across yours with each thrust. His face was ridiculously close to yours and you felt his nose brush against your cheek before he pressed his lips against yours. You moaned louder against this mouth and your fingers began to trail down his back while you clawed at him. You felt Darren growl against your lips and his hand squeezed your right hip tightly. He pulled his lips away from yours, letting out a pant as he bit his bottom lip hard. You opened your eyes slowly, looking at Darren's hard expression as he continued to thrust into you. You clenched your teeth tightly and threw your head back in pleasure, snapping your eyes shut once again. You arched your exposed chest into Darren's warm one as his thrusts grew faster.

"Darren." You managed to moan out and Darren growled again as he thrust into you even faster.

Your hands dropped from his back onto the couch beside you before you clawed at the couch cushions roughly. You felt the soft fabric in your hands and the sweat on your chest as Darren continued.

"Fuck, you feel..." Darren started to moan out, but didn't finish.

He clenched his teeth together tightly and then clawed both hands at the couch as he thrust into you hard, causing you to let out a loud moan. Your back arched once again and you brought your hands up to claw at his back once again. You opened your eyes closely and brought yourself up quickly to smash you lips against Darren's as his thrusts continued. You moaned loudly against his lips and Darren pulled his face away from yours, slowly biting your lower lip. As he thrust into you once again, he let your lip go from his teeth, making you claw into his back harder. You were close and you sunk your teeth into your bottom lip hard. Darren ducked his head down into the crook of your neck as he thrust and you felt his nose brush across your face. His warm breath was on your ear and your face was now nuzzled into his shoulder. You opened your mouth to moan, but instead you bit Darren's shoulder lightly in pleasure, causing him to groan. He thrust hard, making you accidentally bite him harder.

"So good." Darren groaned and brought his hand down to cup your breast gently.

You felt the sweat from his hands fall on your chest and his sweat rub onto your cheek as he thrust once more. You felt your body shake and you let out a soft scream as your nails dug into Darren's back harder.

"I'm... Damn." You moaned out and you felt your walls clench against Darren's cock. You threw your head back in pleasure and you moaned loudly. "I'm cumming." You moaned, and Darren slammed into you as hard as he could as his hands clawed your hips tightly. You began to release around his cock and you felt Darren's warm cum pour into you.

"Geez." He gritted through his clenched teeth as his thrusts died down.

You were now gasping for breath and your chest arched against his as you let out one last moan. Darren's warm, sweaty body collapsed onto yours gently as he panted for air, still inside you. His head was resting on your chest and you brought your hand up to run your fingers through his curly hair slowly.

"You can now cross having sex on the couch off your bucket list." Darren joked and you let out a soft giggle. Darren laughed as well before pulling his head up to look at you deeply in the eyes. His hazel eyes were now soft and bright and he ducked his head down to kiss you sweetly. "I love you, baby." He whispered against your lips and your lips curled into a smile against his mouth.

"I love you, too." You whispered, letting out a soft chuckle. "Unconditionally."

The brightest smile crossed his lips when he heard that and you kissed them right away. It was impossible not to want to kiss him every time he smiled. And then it happens. It happens that you don't want other kisses, you don't want to hear another voice, or to see another smile. Darren enfolded his arms around you and held you tightly as you buried your head on the crook of his neck. It felt good to have given him everything of you. You were feeling radiant and incredibly beautiful. And safe. You knew you were safe for as long as you were in his arms. The rhythm of your heart fell as you felt Darren's chest raising and falling very slowly and as he was running his fingers through your arms, giving you a sense of immense peace. You closed your eyes and began to feel very sleepy, but when Darren planted a small kiss on the top of your head, you looked up at him, giving him an affectionate smile.

"Darebear." You called up and he looked down with a pair of fond eyes, a warm grin and a relaxed expression. "We'll be alright, we'll live a long life and I love you forever, because I understood that forever is not a matter of time, but a matter of feeling." You said as though you were whispering him a very intimate secret. Darren kept his stare fixed on you while stroking your hair, and the intensity and fondness of his stare made you feel a new kind of closeness with him. "It's the infinite that is created between your hands and mine, which is forged every day with this love between you and me." You continued explaining, clutching one of his hands and intertwining your fingers with his, smiling demonstratively. "I just realized that I only need your kiss to achieve immortality in a second; just one day with you, to know that what we feel for each other is perpetual. I just realized that love is not measured by minutes, there is no rule of measurement; love is simply what you feel at the time, that boundless moment that makes you feel like you can even touch heaven. It doesn't matter if we are together for years or just hours; it's now that I love you, that I live in eternity."

You looked up straight into his eyes again, which were looking deeply into yours. He didn't say anything, but words were needless since you became experts in talking with your glares back in high school, where everything started. You knew he also lived in eternity now because he loved you. You grinned weakly and buried your face on the crook of his neck again, feeling very sleepy. You closed your eyes and experienced a sudden relaxation as he held you even tighter, intertwined his legs with yours and began to caress your feet with the back of his. When you were already dozing, you heard him whispering in your ear.

"I love you forever, Freckles."

---

I woke up in bed when the sunlight of the morning poured through the window and hit my face, warming my skin. I was completely naked, covered with the goose feather duvet. I stretched out and ran a hand across my face and my hair; then —with my eyes still closed— I rolled onto my side and tried to snuggle up to Freckles, extending my arm to wrap it around her waist. But my hand just touched the mattress. I fumbled in the bed to find her body and touch her soft skin, but I couldn't find her, so I opened my eyes. She wasn't there —where I brought her last night when she fell asleep in my arms on the couch. I rubbed my eyes and looked around the bedroom to see where she was, but she wasn't there. Then I heard her, whistling the melody of a song and then I heard her mellow voice singing, coming from the kitchenette. I closed my eyes, buried my face in her pillow and grinned in pleasure, enjoying the sound of her voice and the smell of her hair on the pillow. I bit my lips and my smile grew wider when I remembered last night and more what she told me after making love. After last night, I could perfectly tell the difference between having sex and making love. Maybe Freckles wasn't the first person I had sex with, but she was the first person I made love with; so I would no longer regret that she wasn't the one with whom I lost my virginity, because she was my first, the one that counted. I could no longer waste my time in bed when I could be with her; thus I got up and put on my boxers. When I opened the door of the bedroom, I saw Freckles looking the cupboards, apparently looking for something to make breakfast. I leaned against the door frame and crossed my arms over my chest, looking at her with a bright smile as she was still humming a song in her underwear, only wearing my shirt that I took off last night and left on the couch, her hair still disheveled and her face clean of make-up. She looked sexy as hell like this. She was indeed gorgeous and I still couldn't believe that girl over there was mine and mine alone. I wished I could wake up every morning like this; the place didn't matter just as long as it was in the same place she was. Sneakily, I headed towards her from behind and placed my hands on her waist, causing her flinch; my nose nuzzled against her neck and I purred as she turned her head to look at me with a pair of shiny eyes.

"Good morning, gorgeous." I uttered with husky voice before pressing my lips against hers.

"Good morning, adorkable boy." She chuckled softly and I beamed broadly. "What do you want for breakfast?" She asked and I smirked naughtily.

"You." I groaned in front of her lips.

"I didn't know that was on the menu." She teased amused and I nibbled her lower lip.

"It is our own personalized menu." I answered, enfolding my arms around her waist, pulling her body against mine.

"Oh yeah? And what exactly that menu includes?" She asked mischievously.

"Cuddling." I answered while running my hands across her stomach underneath the shirt and while nuzzling her neck with my nose and brushing my lips on the crook of her neck. "But mostly kisses." I purred against the crook of her neck, leaving a trail of small kisses across her neck and jawline as she closed her eyes and grinned. "A vast variety of kisses." I added, planting a kiss on her chin to then crash my lips against hers.

"Hmm, it seems a delicious breakfast." She let out a soft moan as the corner of my lips curled up into a crooked smirk.

"It's the most tempting breakfast." I responded in a growl, feeling terribly attracted to her.

The sound of her voice, her warm and soft skin, her smell, and the way she looked this morning were driving me crazy. I returned my mouth to her neck and I started working up on it, kissing and sucking her neck and earlobe as she moved her arms backwards to place her hands on my hips. My hands started wandering across her stomach, going up to her breasts; when I found out she wasn't wearing bra, I felt suddenly aroused. The tingling in my penis became sharper and I knew that I had a hard on by now. I cupped her breasts with my hands and gave them a soft squeeze as she let out a muffled moan and I felt how her nipples hardened through my fingers. I pushed my hips against her butt, causing both of us move forward until her body touched the kitchen counter. I tugged the sleeve of the shirt with my chin to kiss her shoulder as she clawed at the waistband of my boxers. I gave her breasts a stronger squeeze when she slipped some of her fingers underneath the waistband of my boxers, and I felt how my cock was hardening. I knew she felt my cock throbbing against her butt, because a whimper escaped from her mouth. Geez, I never felt so intensively and rapidly attracted to someone before, this desire of being just with her as close as possible. And the weird thing was the feelings she made me feel; not only the feeling of being aroused, but also the feeling of being so infatuated, so into her, so damn captivated by her; she was the first one who made me feel this while touching someone; she was the first one who made my heart beat faster and not because of the arousal but because of the warm feeling inside because she was she and because it was her touch. I moved one of my hands right to her inner thigh and I squeezed it softly, sensing how she got goosebumps and gasped before she bent her arm backwards to wrap it around my neck as I was sucking one spot of her neck. I thrust my dick against her butt again as I slipped a finger through her underwear to rub her clit. She turned her face to find my lips and kiss them fervently in between gasps; and when she put her hand underneath my boxers and clutched my cock firmly —causing my cock to twitch and jump— I couldn't help tugging at her lower lip. Her fingers outlined my cock, and worked their way up. I pushed two fingers inside her opening, suddenly feeling a warm and wet sensation around my fingers, while she began to stroke my cock up and down, causing it to be fully erect. While I was pushing my fingers in and out her entrance, I used my free hand to pull down her underwear to her knees and be able to pump better my fingers in and out; in the meantime, she also pulled my briefs half-way down my thighs, causing my erection spring free. I stuck my rock hard dick in her firm ass cheeks and started rubbing it up and down on her ass line; she moaned, opened her legs and dug her fingernails in my thighs. Then she moved one hand to my butt and squeezed it before cupping my balls in her hand, making me groan in front of her lips. She continued massaging my balls —as if acknowledging that it was driving me crazy— as I grabbed my dick and aligned my swollen head with the slick entrance to her pussy, her heat reaching and radiating from her. The tip grazed her entrance and I clenched my jaw, wanting to prolong this. I flexed my hips slightly and pushed in gently, feeling my cock slip into her. I titled her chin up and pressed my mouth against hers as I pumped in and out; with each pump, I was increasing the speed. Our bodies moved together effortlessly, sweat slicked skin sliding against skin. I was so lost in her that time seemed to stop. She was getting close, her cries becoming louder and my name leaving her lips over and over, pushing me closer to the edge.

"Darren, I'm almost there." Her voice was low and full of need, and I let my hand slide down her body to where we were joined, teasing her clit with my thumb.

"Come for me, baby." My voice was ragged with the desperation I felt. I was so close but I wanted to wait for her.

Fuck, if I kept this up I was going to lose it. I began to feel her tighten around me. That was all it took. I let go of my control and deepened my strokes, lifting her with every thrust. I was teetering on the edge now, and when she cried out my name, I couldn't hold back any longer.

"Oh God! Darren!"

Her screams were muffled against my neck as I felt her body go rigid and her muscles contract around me. The sight before me was breathtaking. Her head was tossed back in ecstasy, and her hair a tangled mess. She had smudged make-up under her eyes and she looked tired as hell, but knowing that I was the cause of it all made her look more beautiful than I'd ever seen her. Nothing in the world felt as good as this, feeling the rush build inside and crash over us together. I felt her begin to spasm powerfully around my cock. The intensity of her orgasm brought on my own, and I spilled myself into her. We were sweaty and panting and utterly exhausted, and yet I couldn't help the small smile that lifted the corners of my mouth. Our bodies began to calm and I brought my face back to hers, our noses touching.

"That was..." I trailed off, unable to find the words. My mouth was dry, my muscles ached and I was exhausted.

"I know." She chuckled weakly against my lips.

She turned around and I pulled her to me, my forehead coming to rest against hers. She shuddered lightly and I looked down at her, with a sweet smile.

"Cold?" I asked, my fingers moving to her still damp hair.

"No." She answered, shaking her head slightly. "Just...overwhelmed." My breath caught in my throat at the feelings her words caused. "I mean… How come I didn't know about this breakfast yet? The things I missed out!" She joked and I laughed out loud before planting a kiss on the tip of her nose.

The combination of sweet Freckles with funny Freckles was mind-boggling; not too sweet to the point of being suffocating and overly emotional, and not too funny to the point of being careless and thoughtless. She was sweeter rather than funny, though; and I was funnier rather than sweet. Maybe that was why we got along so well: together, we had the perfect balance. We were like the yin and yang: complementary forces interacting to form a dynamic system in which the whole is greater than the parts. And I knew pretty well that the yin and yang are bound together as parts of a mutual whole; therefore, we were bound together, and together we were whole.

"Darren?" Freckles called up and I realized I'd been deep in thought for a while.

"Sorry. I was thinking that you still don't know the complete menu of this breakfast. That was just like the appetizer." I said with an amused smile and she narrowed her eyes intrigued.

"What do you mean?" She asked, probably thinking that I was thinking about something physical.

"I mean that you still have to taste the second part of this breakfast. So..." I answered before placing my hands on the back of her thighs to take her in my arms.

She giggled and enfolded her arms around my neck. I took her to the breakfast nook and left her on one chair; then I stood behind her and I bent to press one cheek against hers while I was massaging her shoulders. She turned her face to look at me with a relaxed facial expression and I took advantage to peck her lips.

"How about you stay right here and I serve you the second part of this breakfast, baby?" I asked with a fond smile. "A delicious coffee and exquisite pancakes for my gorgeous baby girl." I added and her face lit up with a bright grin.

"Okay?" She responded with a hint of exhilaration in her eyes. "Are you sure you don't want me to make breakfast?" She asked as though she was amazed by the fact I was offering to make breakfast instead of asking her to do it.

"Of course I'm sure. Let me pamper you." I responded, my nose nuzzling hers as she let out a chuckle.

"Alright. Then you say romanticism is not your thing." She commented with amusement and I tilted my head and raised an eyebrow.

"Well yeah, it's not my thing because I don't believe in romanticism, but I believe in love." I responded and I saw how her eyes twinkled as a smile spread across her face. "Then, let me pamper you not with romanticism, but with love."

"Okay, I can let you do it." She responded cheerfully, as if my answer made her feel contented.

And yeah, just because I wasn't the romantic dude type didn't mean that I couldn't feel or demonstrate love. Romanticism and love are complementary, but they are not necessarily synonyms. You can be romantic and not feel love at all, just as well you cannot be romantic and feel real love; because romanticism is about actions, and love is about feelings. I thought that was what Freckles understood when she smiled at me with satisfaction after my answer. While I was making breakfast for her, I couldn't help glancing at her from time to time. She was still in her underwear, wearing my shirt and also my hoodie, her hair was still disheveled and she still hadn't put on lipstick or concealer. I liked her like that more, because it made me think that she was comfortable enough around me to the extent that she didn't feel the need of hiding how she truly was in her most natural and purest state. Also —what had me very astounded— was the fact that it seemed to me that she was way more joyful; seeing her smile and bright eyes was more regular, as if she wasn't emotionally troubled, or —more accurately— as if she'd managed to overcome it. I felt accomplished because —maybe— I was the guy who could manage to take her pain away and make her feel totally happy in return, as I always wished and something I was feeling insecure about these last days. I knew she wouldn't stop feeling pained because of Brian's death, but that was okay, because she was now happy despite the pain; and that was the balance she had to find; again —like the yin and yang— everything has both yin and yang aspects: the growth of the top seeks light, while roots grow in darkness; the light and darkness are always there within oneself, and it's the balance between them when your life becomes harmonious. Yeah, I'd been reading a lot about this when I was trying to find a way to help Freckles get better; and it seemed it worked out. When I finished making breakfast, I returned to the breakfast nook and I served her coffee and a plate with pancakes.

"Oh, this seems indeed delicious." She clapped and grinned with all her teeth.

"What can I say?" I asked merrily as I sat next to her. "I've been practicing how to make pancakes for you. It was tough, I screwed it up many times, and I developed a sense of self-hatred when I didn't get it; but I'd do anything for you, baby." I responded while wrapping an arm around her as she tittered.

"Now I can tell the difference between romanticism and love you were talking about. And I love it." She gave me a warm smile before pressing her lips against mine.

"Now you can see it, baby? For me, true love is not confined to the physical or romance, true love is accepting everything the other is, has been, will be and what will never be. That's why I'm not prone to romanticism." I replied while looking deeply into her big, shiny eyes.

"Yet what you're saying is so romantic." She responded and I frowned slightly. "Because for me romanticism isn't only about the flowers, the chocolates, the candles and bed of roses, not even about promises of giving the moon and the stars to keep." She started explaining and I looked at her intrigued. "As an art student, romanticism to me is an artistic, literary, and intellectual movement which validates intense emotion as an authentic source of aesthetic experience; it's about the primary importance of the free expression of the feelings of the artist. It embodies a new and restless spirit, seeking violently to burst through old and cramping forms, a nervous preoccupation with perpetually changing inner states of consciousness, a longing for the unbounded and the indefinable, for perpetual movement and change, an effort to return to the forgotten sources of life, a passionate effort at self-assertion both individual and collective, a search after means of expressing an unappeasable yearning for unattainable goals." She continued saying, her voice becoming more high-pitched with each word pronounced owing to her passion. I grinned not because I could get all she was saying, but because I loved seeing when she was so excited explaining something. "In literature, for instance, much of romantic poetry invited the reader to identify the protagonists with the poets themselves. In music, romanticism leads us into the depths of the spiritual world, with elements of fear, love, and sorrow; a presentiment of the infinite, in the eternal dance of the spheres; like Mozart's music." She exemplified and I nodded, enjoying the eloquent way she was talking. "Cannot you notice it? You talked about true love, about accepting everything the other is, has been, will be and will never be. With those words you're asserting the restless spirit of someone who is in love and is expressing his intense emotions and feelings which are changing inner states. You implicitly referred to this longing for the unbounded and the indefinable, to the yearning for unattainable goals, to this spiritual world full of fear, love, and sorrow. Your words were like some sort of poetry that invited me to identify with you as a poet myself." She articulated, again passionately and fervently. "You see, romanticism is not all that sappy stuff you see in movies, it is about these intense emotions and feelings; at least it's like that for me as an art student." She shrugged as a smile played about the corners of my mouth.

"Well, if you put it like that... I guess I'm a romantic dude. Not as the main character of a romantic movie, but as the boyfriend of an art student. And our love is a romantic poetry, Jane Austen or Bécquer style; and it's also a romantic music, Mozart style. We're super romantic, baby." I answered and she giggled, shrugging.

"Of course we are. After all, we're all the time seeking violently to burst through old and cramping forms. We love the extravagance and we're quirky ourselves. Isn't that like totally romantic?" She asked amused and I chuckled.

"So, all in all, why do you think that what I said was romantic?" I asked and she sighed, apparently frustrated because she couldn't make her point clear. "Kidding, baby." I chuckled. "This is why I fucking love you. Your weird, convoluted and elaborated connections, correlations and reformulations of different concepts to make your own, are the best thing ever. You never cease to wonder me." I commented mesmerized and this made her smile happily. "Besides, how is it even possible that a minute ago I was thinking that romanticism was a total crap and now I'm thinking it's the coolest thing ever? Fuck, baby; only you can do that to me." I added and she chortled.

"Well, just as you are a wizard, I'm a witch. And I do pretty well on casting the Imperius curse." She winked and I laughed at her randomness. Seriously, there wasn't a more perfect person for me than her. We were made for each other.

"Hey! That's an Unforgivable Curse! You're gonna be sent to Azkaban!" I exclaimed out loud, overdramatizing it.

"No big deal." She shrugged indifferently. "I'm an animagus and I'll manage to escape Azkaban just as Sirius did."

"You're really a Harry Potter nerd, aren't you?" I asked with an amused smirk.

"Total geek." She asserted, nodding energetically. "I've always been a weirdo, you know that."

"Hmm, yeah. People change, but the past doesn't, right?" I asked.

"Exactly!" She exclaimed loudly and I grinned widely.

"I'm glad it's like that. I could not possibly love someone who isn't a weirdo like you." I answered and she narrowed her eyes and gave me a mischievous smirk.

"Are you trying to say that you could not possibly love anyone but me?" She asked and I placed my hands on her jaw to pull her into a noisy kiss.

"You're good when it comes to figure out how the real shit actually is." I winked and she smiled with proud.

After our breakfast full of jokes, kisses and caresses; we got dressed and went hiking until we arrived to a cool place alongside with the Presque Isle River near the Presque Isle Falls. We went there to picnic, just with some sandwiches and my guitar; we didn't need anything else. I was resting my back against a tree and Freckles was in front of me, resting her back on my chest and her head on my shoulder; as we were playing the guitar together: I was in charge of playing the chords and she was in charge of strumming the strings. I was giving her few advices to improve, even if she didn't need many; so then I focused on just staring at her. I found myself thinking that I would never get tired of her or our relationship; because we could basically do nothing at all and just have a blast together. It was outstanding how comfortable I was around her; I could be completely myself with her, and I knew it was also the other way around. We didn't need anything or anyone to be happy. When I was with her like this, I could forget about the world; and it was a nice feeling. That was why I knew I'd never get tired of us, because all these things would never change for us as it always tended to happen to normal couples. I began to play certain chords for a particular song while she was still strumming. I looked at her with a warm smile and I began to sing in a whisper.

We'll do it all

Everything

On our own

We don't need

Anything

Or anyone

If I lay here

If I just lay here

Would you lie with me

And just forget the world?

I don't quite know

How to say

How I feel

Those three words

Are said too much

They're not enough

Then, all of a sudden, Freckles began to sing and I let her do it alone, enjoying her mellow voice as we were looking deeply into each other's eyes. I was surprised by the fact she could look into my eyes while still strumming; she had been practicing.

If I lay here

If I just lay here

Would you lie with me

And just forget the world?

Forget what we're told

Before we get too old

Show me a garden

That's bursting into life

Let's waste time

Chasing cars

Around our heads

I need your grace

To remind me

To find my own

A tender grin spread across her face when she sang that and it made me feel the typical pain in the chest I always felt whenever she smiled at me. Then both of us sang along the chorus.

If I lay here

If I just lay here

Would you lie with me

And just forget the world?

Forget what we're told

Before we get too old

Show me a garden

That's bursting into life

Then Freckles hurried to sing alone the next part, her face and voice reflecting that she was indeed feeling the song and it was dedicating it to me.

All that I am

All that I ever was

Is here in your perfect eyes

They're all I can see

I decided to sing the next part alone, also trying to show her this song was for her and I meant it.

I don't know where

Confused about how as well

Just know that these things

Will never change for us at all

We finally sang together the last part of the song, both of us smiling at each other.

If I lay here

If I just lay here

Would you lie with me

And just forget the world?

We ended the song just as it started: in a whisper. The kiss that followed the song wasn't planned, it wasn't forced; it was just natural, I didn't know who the one who kissed first was, maybe because we did it at the same time. Then we played and sang few more songs, until she looked at me a bit shyly while playing with her fingers. I knew she wanted to tell me an intimate secret.

"Reveal your secrets!" I exclaimed a bit jokingly to make her feel less nervous and it worked because she let out a loud chuckle.

"I... I kinda started writing a sort of poem that I wanted to turn into a song... But you know, I don't know anything about composing a song with the instruments and all that technical stuff..." She babbled as her cheeks were starting to blush.

"Wait, hold on a second..." I said, a wide smile crossing my lips. "You really took the initiative to start writing your own song?" I asked amazed.

"Kind of..." She whispered, looking down. "It's not good and it's the first time and well..."

"No! Hey! That's totally awesome!" I exclaimed cheerfully.

Of course I was feeling happy; I always wanted her to write a song because she was good when it came to writing the lyrics and —besides— I always tried to convince her to do so. So, hearing that she indeed took the first step of attempting to write a song was incredible.

"Forget about the technical part. I told you I could help you out with that. Freckles... This is amazing." I continued saying with a broad smile.

"Yes, I know you told me so. But I wanted to surprise you by singing you the finished song. I swear I tried to compose it and all that, but I just couldn't; it was too complicated to understand what I read about songs composition." She replied a bit frustrated and distressed. I bit my lower lip and looked at her fondly owing to how cute she was. Then I cupped her cheek with one hand and planted a buss on her forehead.

"Baby, that's so sweet." I said grinning and she gave me a faint smile. "Don't feel frustrated, it really takes a long time to learn how to do it and you just started with all the music stuff. Let me help you with that, please?" I asked and she hesitated. "I'm kinda dying to know what you wrote. Please?"

"I don't know... I was actually telling you this to ask you if you could explain me a concept I didn't understand, so I can finish the song." She answered but I was too eager now to wait.

"I propose you something." I voiced and she glanced at me curiously. "I'm pretty sure you have the melody and tempo of the song in your mind, you just don't know how to add the instrumental part. Am I wrong?" I asked and she shook her head in response. "Then... How about you sing it to me the way you think it must be sung and I improvise with my guitar how the instrumental part could be? That way, I wouldn't be helping you, I'd be just improvising and then you can decide if you like it or not. It's easier to start when you have a starting point." I suggested and she hesitated again. I saw how her teeth sunk into her bottom lip while thinking about it.

"Okay. I think we can do it." She finally responded and I let out a victorious squeal. "But, Darren... It's not finished. I may change it and..."

"Baby, just take it easy!" I giggled and she smiled and nodded. "I won't judge you. Okay?"

"Okay." She replied.

From her backpack she took out a particular book that I recognized as her journal that I once saw. She flipped through the pages until she stopped and remained silent, just staring certain page. I tried to catch a glimpse, but I couldn't since she was trying to hide it. Then she looked up at me, her big eyes showing a hint of edginess and coyness.

"Okay, um…" She jabbered, clearly feeling inhibited. "I will start, you know, to sing it."

"Great. Just let me…" I said while adopting a more comfortable position, holding firmly my guitar. "Whenever you want, baby." I indicated and she nodded and cleared her throat. And without warning, she began to sing with her very smooth voice.

Your hands are my caress,

My everyday chords.

I love you because your hands

Work for justice.

If I love you it is because you are

My love, my accomplice and everything

And on the street, side by side

We are much more than two

Your eyes are my spell

Against bad days.

I love you for your eyes

Which look at and sow the future

Your mouth is yours and mine,

Your mouth is never wrong.

I love you because your mouth

Knows how to shout rebellion

If I love you it is because you are

My love, my accomplice and everything

And on the street side by side

We are much more than two

And for your sincere face

And for your wandering gait

And for your tears for the world

Because you are the people I love you.

And because love is not a halo

And neither a candid moral

And because we are a pair

Who knows it is not alone.

I want you in my paradise,

That is in my country,

Where the people live happily

Even if it is not allowed

If I love you it is because you are

My love, my accomplice and everything

And on the street, side by side,

We are much more than two.

Much more than two.

When she finished singing, I was staring at her agape and enthralled. I even stopped playing my guitar at some point to just pay attention to the lyrics of the song she wrote. She was looking down, completely shamefaced; completely unaware of how beautiful, astounding and meaningful that song was; completely unaware of the overflowing talent she had to have written a song so fucking well without previous experience. How was it possible for her to think she wasn't good at this?

"So, this is what I have so far... I still have to arrange few things..." She started stammering, but I interrupted her.

"Don't change anything." I said with absolute clarity, my voice sounding a bit imperative. "Leave it just the way it is now. It's perfect."

"No, I don't think..."

"Baby, trust me. It's perfect. Don't make any changes." I repeated roundly. "Damn, baby. I can't believe that you've written that song being that it's your first time." I recognized, still amazed.

"You're overstating." She let out an awkward chuckle, playing with her fingers.

"Am not." I assured and picked up her chin. "You're really good at this; maybe it's an innate talent and you shouldn't waste that talent, neither should you disesteem it."

"Darren, you're making me feel uncomfortable." She whispered, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

"Why would you feel uncomfortable by someone recognizing and eulogizing your talent?" I questioned and she let out a sigh.

"You know me. You know I simply don't feel comfortable when someone flatters me." She responded.

"That's silly. A compliment should never be something to feel uncomfortable. If anything, it should be an encouragement to keep developing the talent." I replied, looking deeply into her eyes.

"Well, but you know me! I can't help it." She scowled and looked down in embarrassment.

"Alright, fine. I won't continue insisting, though I think you should learn to embrace the compliments." I commented and she nodded and bit her lips. "Now, back to the song itself... What inspired you to write it?" I asked curiously because I didn't want to assume something that probably wasn't.

"Dummy, isn't it obvious?" She asked, looking at me again before the corners of her lips rose. "You inspired me. Just as you say I'm your muse, you're my muse." She said and I felt my heart skipping a beat due to my sudden gladness. "I thought it was quite clear that the song is about you. About us." She added and this time I beamed broadly.

"I love it. I love everything you wrote. I love the way you see me, the way you feel about us." I confessed with a fond smile, stroking her cheek with my thumb. "Thank you for letting me know this in the best way we can express our feelings, through a song. Your own song."

"I needed to make up for all the songs you've already written to me." She shrugged, an affectionate and a bit amused grin crossed her lips as I giggled softly. "And you must know that this song just expresses half of what I feel for you. There are certain things that not even a song gets to convey."

"That's why we are also experts in non-verbal language, baby. Or have you forgotten our endless conversations with just our eyes?" I winked and she tittered.

"How could I? We're doing it all the time." She smirked and winked back.

"I love you." I grinned and leaned in to kiss her soft lips. I nibbled them before parting a little. "You seriously should stop putting that cherry lipstick on if you don't want your mouth to be eaten, baby."

"Why do you think I still put on that lipstick?" She teased and I chuckled. Shit, I fucking loved her.

We kissed again, this time more passionately and combining the kisses with licking, sucking and nibbling. I was pretty sure I had her lipstick all over my mouth now, and for that reason she couldn't stop tasting my lips. Not that I minded that. I even thought about stealing her lipstick to put it on me so that she would kiss me that way more often. We made out for a long time, alternating kisses with caresses and few jokes and insinuating and provocative comments. When we managed to lie down on the ground to make out more intensely, my phone rang. I ignored it, but it seemed the person who was calling wouldn't give up. Such a cockblock, man! So —stymied— I picked up the call without checking who it was as Freckles sat up and combed her hair and pulled down her shirt.

"Hello?" I greeted sourly, trying to control the panting.

"Hi, Darren." I heard Jen's voice. "I'm sorry if I'm interrupting something... But you know I wouldn't call you if it wasn't something important."

"Yeah... What is it?" I asked, now a bit suspicious and concerned.

"Do you remember when Kelly mentioned that nothing is what it seems?" Jen asked. I noticed the hint of eagerness in her voice. Fuck, no. "Well, nothing is what it seems indeed." She added, her voice now sounding high-pitched.

"Shit. What happened?" I asked in a whisper. I didn't want Freckles to hear me and worry her in vain just when she was doing fine.

"I can't tell you on the phone because the call might be intercepted." Jen answered with trembling voice. "You and Freckles must come back right now. It's highly urgent."