It had been six years since I joined the circus.
I was only eight when I left home and joined where I am now.
Of course, I used a fake name to get in, like they did in those TV shows.
The name I used?
Patrick Mac Cathmhaoil.
Reason being because I don't want anyone knowing who I really am.
If they did, I would most likely be sent home and there's no way I'm going home.
Not with Dillon there to most likely spout mean stuff to me at any giving moment when we're near each other.
Anyway, the name of the circus I joined is Boss Genderbender's Awesome Plummeting Band and Handstitched Wackiness Breeze Tale.
Handful, I know but everyone calls it the Breeze Tale Plummeting Band for short.
My role in this circus is the tightrope walker.
Only difference is that I sing and dance while going across the tightrope.
Strange, I know but it's what I'm good at and I like doing this.
Like a lot of circuses, we travel all around but not just in one country, but all over the world.
Today, we're in Belfast, Northern Ireland, my home.
I patiently waited for my turn to come.
Pulling the curtain back, I looked at the plethora of people.
In the crowd, I picked out Allistor, Arthur, and Howell sitting somewhere in the middle and next to each other.
If I'd been honest with myself, I was a bit surprised to see them here.
Then again, I knew they liked the circus and went to whichever one was in town.
This case is the one I just so happened to have joined.
I sighed happily when I didn't see Dillon.
Letting go of the curtain, I went to the ladder that led to the platform for the tightrope.
Once there, I climbed up and stood on the platform, where I was given a microphone, waiting patiently for my turn which wasn't long away from now.
After the performer on the ground was done and gone, the ringmaster's voice rang out through the speakers.
"And now we have Patrick Mac Cathmhaoil, the singing and dancing tightrope walker!"
Lights were shone on me and the music for the song I'd chosen started playing, causing the clapping and cheering died down.
A sigh escaped me and I began my act.
There's another world inside of me
That you may never see
I took a step forward onto the tightrope after I started singing.
There are secrets in this life
That I can't hide
With that, I started my dancing, leaving everyone in silent amazement at the fact that I can do this while on a tightrope.
Somewhere in this darkness
There's a light that I can't find
Maybe it's too far away
Or maybe I'm just blind
Or maybe I'm just blind
So hold me when I'm here
Right me when I'm wrong
Hold me when I'm scared
And love me when I'm gone
Everything I am
And everything in me
Wants to be the one
You wanted me to be
I'll never let you down
Even if I could
I'd give up everything
If only for your good
So hold me when I'm here
Right me when I'm wrong
You can hold me when I'm scared
You won't always be there
So love me when I'm gone
Love me when I'm gone
When your education X-Ray
Cannot see under my skin
I won't tell you a damn thing
That I could not tell my friends
Roaming through this darkness
I'm alive but I'm alone
Part of me is fighting this
But part of me is gone
So hold me when I'm here
Right me when I'm wrong
Hold me when I'm scared
And love me when I'm gone
Everything I am
And everything in me
Wants to be the one
You wanted me to be
I'll never let you down
Even if I could
I'd give up everything
If only for your good
So hold me when I'm here
Right me when I'm wrong
You can hold me when I'm scared
You won't always be there
So love me when I'm gone
There was an instrumental break after I drew out the word 'gone' and I just kept dancing.
Or maybe I'm just blind
More instrumental and dancing.
So hold me when I'm here
Right me when I'm wrong
Hold me when I'm scared
And love me when I'm gone
Everything I am
And everything in me
Wants to be the one
You wanted me to be
I'll never let you down
Even if I could
I'd give up everything
If only for your own good
So hold me when I'm here
Right me when I'm wrong
You can hold me when I'm scared
You won't always be there
So love me when I'm gone
Love me when I'm gone
Love me when I'm gone
When I'm gone
When I'm gone
When I'm gone
When the song ended and I stopped dancing, there I was on the other side.
Slowly and surely, I raised my hand in the air, curling it into a fist and lowering my head.
The crowd was in an uproar shortly after.
It was then that I knew the crowd loved my act.
I climbed down the nearby ladder when the light was off me and on the ringmaster now.
As soon as my feet hit the ground, I was off and on my way to my section in the area where everyone gets ready before the show.
A couple people who'd gone before me came up to me.
"Hey Patrick," The female said, causing me to look at the two.
Of course, I had to look up due to my height.
"Yeah Barabal?" I asked.
"Whit ye did oot there was great," She said in her usual Scottish accent.
If anyone asks, no she's not a Kirkland.
I would know by now if she was.
"Thanks," I said, not an expression on my face.
Barabal smiled and nodded.
Sometime later, everyone was cleaning up so we could get on the road in a little bit.
What I didn't notice was that there were three people coming up behind me.
That is, until one of them called out.
"Hey, redhead."
I froze when I heard the voice.
The familiar English voice to say the least.
I didn't bother looking at them and made my voice deeper so they wouldn't recognize me.
"Who, me?"
Like they would recognize my voice anyway.
"Yeah, you," Arthur said.
"Is it alright if we talk to you for a moment before you leave?"
"Oh, um, sure," I said and went to packing.
"What you did out there reminds us of what happened with our youngest brother six years ago," Said the one with the Welsh accent, Howell.
"Oh? How so?"
After I'd filled the box I was packing, I closed it and pulled it onto my shoulder and walked to our truck with my brothers in tow.
"Well, he ran away after saying somethin' tae our other brother, Dillon," Allistor said.
"He was nae happy wit' te fact tha' Dillon hated him. 'M sure he still is unhappy wit' it, where'er he may be."
"What did he say to this Dillon person?" I asked, though I knew fully what I'd said.
They explained it to me as I put the box I was carrying into the truck.
I stood there for a while after they finished telling what happened, for tears started streaming down my face though the others didn't know it because they couldn't see my face.
Of course, they waited patiently for me to say something.
Swallowing the lump in my throat, I responded with, "Maybe he wanted time to let the damage heal and for Dillon to realize just what he was feeling."
It was silent for a moment as what I said sunk in.
"Ok, thanks," Howell said quietly before I heard three sets of footsteps receding.
However, one of them stopped and came back.
"One question, where will your circus be performing next?"
That English accent…
"Dublin, Ireland," I said just loud enough for him to hear.
"Thanks."
There he goes again, running to catch up to Allistor and Howell.
They had yet to find out that I'm the person who ran away from home.
Once I didn't hear their footsteps, I got off the truck and a couple others packed their stuff into it and we all got into our respective trucks and were on our way to Dublin, Ireland.
Sure, it may have seemed like forever but we did get to Dublin after a while.
I was one of the first ones to go after we set up and sold tickets.
Before my turn, I looked out at the crowd and one person drew my attention.
One I hadn't seen in six years.
"Big brot'er…" I whispered.
At my turn, I climbed the ladder and stood on the platform.
The Fall out Boy song "Thanks for the Memories" played and I started doing what I do best, singing, dancing, and going across the tightrope.
When I was about halfway across the tightrope though, something went wrong and I found myself holding onto it and struggling to pull myself back up.
Seeing the situation I'm in, I was full on panicking at this point.
There were also gasps of surprise from the crowd.
Not really able to do anything else, I screamed for help.
"Someone help me! Please!"
Looking to my left, I saw no one climbing the ladder but when I looked to the right, I saw Dillon making his way up the ladder.
After Dillon made it to the platform, he carefully made his way to me and held out a hand once he made it to me.
I then slowly took a hand off the tightrope and reached for the hand outstretched to me.
We just barely managed to get a hold of each other's hand when he pulled me up to carry me bridal style back the way he came.
By the time we got back to the ground, I was clutching him tightly, had my face buried in his chest, and was shaking slightly.
"E'eryt'in's alright Pat, I got ye," I heard Dillon say softly.
I looked up at Dillon, fear written on my face.
Upon seeing my face, Dillon's eyes widened.
"E-Emmet?" He stuttered.
Smiling sheepishly, I nodded slightly.
"Ne'er thought ye'd keep yer word on joining t'e circus," Dillon told me.
Sighing, I looked out of the corner of my eye.
"Yeah, well, I didnae want tae live in a world where all you did was hurt an' hate me," I told him.
It's just a good thing that no one can hear us due to the act that's going on at the moment.
A sigh escaped Dillon.
"Listen, I've been thinkin' about what ye said eight years ago," He admitted.
I looked up at him.
"Ye have?" I asked.
He nodded.
"I have."
Now it's his turn to look out the corner of his eyes.
"Tae be honest, I realized t'at I was bein' unfair tae ye. I'm sorry. Fer e'eryt'in'."
"Ye mean it big brot'er?"
He nods.
With that, I hugged him tightly.
"Is breá liom tú," I said to him.
Dillon, of course, held me close.
From this point on, Dillon and I would be working on mending our relationship.
It might take a while, but I know we can do it.
"Is breá liom tú ró Emmet," Dillon said after a while.
This made me smile and snuggle into him.
At least now I know all my brothers are there for me.
We won't give up and we won't go away.
Why
Because we're brothers and it's what we do.
Nothing's ever going to change that about any of us.
"I'm goin' tae talk tae te boss o' t'is circus," Dillon said.
I blinked.
"Alright.
He then carried me to go talk with my boss.