Chapter 47

Draco did not know why the book to him was so fascinating but it was. He sat up in bed late the evening after he had taken it from Ginny and he just looked at it. The pages appeared blank but there was more to it. He knew it in his soul.

Running his finger down the spin, he turned it over once more in his hand looking for a way to uncover its secrets. With no obvious way in, he silently got out of bed to collect a quill and some ink.

Once he had got back into bed, Draco found himself at a lost as to what to write so he settled for the obvious, if not childish, My name is Draco Malfoy.

Inexplicitly, the ink seemed to sink into the paper, and disappeared. He didn't understand...

Hello Draco Malfoy, My name is Tom Riddle.

Alarm bells rang in his head. He had been brought up in the Malfoy manor and had been about magic since the day he was born. A diary that wrote back to him? Surely something was wrong... this couldn't be right could it?

His father's voice rang in his head telling him to go to Severus or to Flitwick.

But then, surely it could just be from Zonkos joke shop, another voice argued. Most likely, it was nothing.

Don't do this... give the diary to Severus...

How are you Draco Malfoy? Where are you?

Standard questions which incorporated his name. It could have been charmed to do so.

I am well, he wrote back though he was unsure if his was the truth. I am at Hogwarts.

Hogwarts is a great school. There was a time when I went there...

Draco paused. If this was from his father how dangerous was it? How dangerous could it be?

His father was not a bad man, he was not. A tear trickled down his cheek. He was not... he trusted him. What if it was even his father writing back to him? Somehow, he didn't think so.

He wanted to flu home. But there was nothing left for him there.

When was that?

Though Draco had to say he had lost his interest...

-

"My tummy hurts..." said the three year old as he wondered into the living room.

"Does it?"

"Yeah!" the lad muttered miserably as he walked over to the leather arm chair where the master of the house sat.

Without a second thought he leaned down and swept the boy up in to his lap and encased him in his arms.

"Whets wrong my little prince? Tell daddy where it hurts and I'll make it better."

The little boy leant back and snuggled into his father, burying his face in his chest.

His eyes snapped open and he fully expected to look down and find a little one snuggled up on his chest... but there was none. Memories flooded him and he lay back in bed.

"Son."

He felt like such a fool and emptier than he had ever been before in his whole life. Ever since he had got back from the train station and the house was quiet. It was so utterly still... He had no idea where in Hogwarts castle his boy was or what he was doing. Summer had at least been tolerable... but this silence was weighing him down further.

Reaching across to the bed side table, Lucius grabbed the bottle of fire whiskey and opened it. The hot liquid burned his sore throat but at least it gave some sort of indication to him that he was alive still.

The worst thing was the rational voice in his head told him that he had no one to blame for his predicament but himself. He did not want to hear that. So he drank. And he drank.

Somewhere in his loneliness, he had come to terms with what his son had done and he was at last ready to talk to him, only to find he wasn't there. He had done back to school. He was grown and he didn't need him.

The shocking thing about being a father was it had changed him; before he had had his boy he did not think he had needed someone to need him. Yes, he had had Cissy but he didn't crave her need of him the same way he did his son. He wanted his son to want him to kiss it better and hold him. Not some bloody mudblood.

He knew he could write to him and he was going too. They were going to resolve there differences, but it had to be done face to face which it could not be at that moment. No, so instead, he drank till he could not feel any more.

-

"So what do you think? You up for Quidditch try outs?" said Stephen as he and Draco walked down the corridor. The Ravenclaw's may be a studious bunch but from the very first day he had been there Draco had noticed that they took pride in their sport as well.

Now that they were second years, Draco and his friends, they were going to be able to play and Stephen (of course) was the first to say he was going to go for it.

Draco could recall how jealous he had been when he had had to stand in the crowd the year before. He was going to try out for the team. He did not want to have to go through that again. The stands were boring at times, but the game never was.

"Sure." he nodded.

"You know they are next week? What position are you going to try to for?"

"Seeker."

He had not even had to think about it. He had a small frame and he had always had an eye for detail.

The two of them walked down to the Great Hall together. Once they went in, he felt that a pair of eyes were on him and he did not have to turn to see who they belonged too.

He had been expecting it. A day had passed since he had taken the diary. And he was pretty darn sure that a diary that wrote back to you was the sort of thing you would miss.

Sure enough, Ginny looked at him with a mixture of hatred and fear.

It was obvious that she had thought there was something up with the diary. Maybe he should take it to Sev, the voice in his head said to him once more.

He shook the thought out of his head as he turned and begun his dinner. He was a growing lad and when he sat down to eat the food was all he wanted to think about he found.

He tuned back into the conversation. Thankfully, when he asked the other lads, none of them were going to go for the position of seeker. They all had their sights on being chasers or keepers it seemed.

However, going for seeker in second and third year did seem to be popular as they were still small enough to be effective. The girls in his year said they were going for the spot.

When the second post of the day came down, he got a letter from Jane and Andromeda who were making their support of him quite obvious.

Nothing came from home.

But then at least when he was at Hogwarts Lucius's silence was more bearable. The nose around him kept it at bay. The chattering in the hall was a protective barrier.

In the end, try outs were scheduled for the Saturday afternoon of the first weekend back. In the morning, the Gryffindor's were having try outs. Slytherins were holding them on Sunday morning. It seemed only Hufflepuff did not need to get someone new in that year and naturally that meant the other houses were eager to fill in their teams before they got too far ahead of them in training.

The inter house rivalry was going to be as fierce as ever that was clear. Draco was looking forward to it...

Of course, that meant that he was going to have to train for try outs hard but it was going to be worth it. If he had never needed a release from everything, it was now.

Maybe he would go and get his broom...

Half an hour after lunch he found himself on the way out to the Quidditch pitch with a smile playing on his lips. It was going to be good.

Or at least he had thought it was going to be.

Ron and Harry were there and when they saw him, they were clearly unsure of what to say and what to do. The Gryffindor's he had been trying to avoid seem to be everywhere that he went, reminding him about the friendship he was missing out on.

He could not just turn his back and go. Not now. With apprehension, he walked over to them.

"Draco." Harry nodded as he came over.

"How are you?" he asked. He did miss the two of them. there was no sense in denying it to himself.

"We're ok." Said Ron as he came over. There was a sombre mood between the three of them. It was a stark contrast to the light hearted friendship they had enjoyed the year before.

"I should go." Sighed Draco as he went to turn.

"What the hell did we do Draco?" Ron called after him.

Ron did not know why it got to him so much that they did not seem to be friends any more. he couldn't forget the Quidditch game even if Draco could ...

"It was nothing to do with you guys." He said as he turned about.

"Is it because of Hermione? Because of what she is?" murmured Ron accusingly.

"You know I am not like that." He said fiercely. He was a lot of things but he was not a bigot and he was never going to be.

The two of them looked at him as if they had a new respect for him. Had he asked them, they knew they would have had to tell him that they thought he had been little more than his father's puppet of late.

But they did not. They looked at him with recognition as if they knew their friend was still in there. Deep down.

"I am not a bigot. And I have to go." he said as he turned his back.

Screw try outs. He would train for them another day.

-

It was a good thing that he did make it back out to the field because when he did get there he found the competition between the third and second year Ravenclaws to be seeker was really quite tough.

Draco had to say that he though a third year girl, Cho Chang was his stiffest opponent. Every one said he had been good. He just hoped he had been better than she was on the day...

When he found out that he had been good enough he was simply delighted. It was hard to get on to then school teams when you were in your second year he had been told. Most did not make it till fourth.

Drawing out a piece of paper he bit the bullet.

Father,

I thought I ought to tell you that I have been accept on to the Ravenclaw Quidditch team to play seeker!

Lucius had been on the Slytherin team when he had been young. It showed that they were alike in some things at least.

But he did not know if that was a good thing anymore.

-

It was to his great delight that Severus learned that his young nephew had made it on to his house team. If there was anyone in the school who needed something good to happen was him.

"I must say it is now I wish you were in my house," he admitted to Draco and the boy knew it was the truth. He was a damn good played and he wished he was playing for Uncle. "Have you wrote and told your father?" It struck him that a year before a question like that would not have been necessary.

Draco nodded. He had got a reply but had to say oddly enough he was in two minds about it. Part of him treasured it and the other half of him said it was not worth the paper it was written on. It had been sighed off 'much love, your father,' but it was clear his heart had not been in it. The warmth was gone.

"Good."

"Have you been over to the manor since I have been back school?" he had to say, if the truth was known, he was worried about his father.

He sighed. He knew Draco understood there was something amiss he only wished Sev would tell him why. "I have not been able to meet with him yet, no."

Draco did not think the two of them had been apart for so long in their lives.

"Well, can you go and see him for me please?" He said. Draco's only wish was to know that his father was alright. It struck Sev how reversed the roles that father and son were playing were.

"I'll – I will call Jane too." He said defeated, knowing somehow the young man before him was the only one behaving in an adult manner.

–

When she got the letter, Jane had to say she was worried and shaken by it too. She knew that Lucius had not been coping well since he had lost Eliza but for him and Severus to be so far apart as well. She did not want think about it, even though she knew she had no choice but too.

The day after she had received the letter, she found herself back at the Malfoy manor once she had put the twins to bed. Tentatively, she knocked on the door. She did not think she had ever been so nervous about going inside. Not even the day when she had first gone for her interview. She just did not think she was going to like what she found inside.

The door creaked open. "Miss Jane, it is you!" Dobby squeaked.

"It is," She said as she brushed pasted him. "Where is your master?"

"He is in his room miss Jane! "

It was as only eight o'clock. She tried to tell herself it was not such as bad thing but she did not ever remembering him going to bed so early when she had been there.

The house felt utterly deserted. The happy home it had been had sunk into to the walls and left the house a husk.

"Sir." She knocked on the door as she got to the top of the stair way. "Sir it is me Jane." She called to him. When she got no response, she thought it would be best for her to go in any way.

Not right maybe but best for them all. She had to put her own mind at rest as well as her young masters and Sev's.

She was alarmed as soon as she got in there. All over the floor there were fire whiskey bottles and she was suddenly delighted that her Draco was at school for it would never do for him to see his father in such a state of self pity. It also made her angry at him. He was a father. He had lost some one yes. But he neither had no right to fall apart as he was.

"Cissy?" said the man on the bed. She could not think of him as her old friend and master. He had to be there somewhere in there she knew but she was not going to acknowledge him as the drunk that he seemed to have become.

She shook her head and was alarmed to be called by the name of the women who would have been her mistress had she lived.

"No sir, it is I... Jane. Master Severus sent me to see if you were ok."

But he shook his head. "Cissa..."

Tears welled in her eyes. She was sad and she was frustrated. "What are you doing to yourself? You have a son!" she insisted.

"He neither needs or loves me." he said as spit came out of his month. A tear leaked from her eye on to her cheek.

"Now I know you do not believe that."

"And who are you to tell me what I do or I do not believe Jane. What are you? Nothing but a servant." He slurred. "Your young charge is at Hogwarts and so you are not required here. As for that barsted Severus I do not want or need his concern."

She shook her head. Some day he was going to regret this and she knew it. "I am going to go now, sir. There is no good in talking to you right now and I am not going to stand here and be abused," she had always had so much respect for him. Even for the way he had dealt with Maria in the end. She was not going to let today wreck the part of her life she had shared with him.

She quickly apparted out of the manor and to the boarders of Hogwarts.

-

"It was a sad sight, I have to tell you, Master Severus. He was half the man he was when we last met."

Severus nodded as he poured her a drink of fire whiskey. He knew he should have really gone himself but he would not have been let through gates, let alone up to Lucius room.

"And he really called you by her name?"

"Yes, he did. He had this look in his eyes. It was as if he really believed for a moment that she had come back to him and that I was her."

"Well, I wish that she would come back. If there was anyone who could control him when he was behaving like this, well it would be her." Sighed Severus.

They sat quiet for a moment.

"You know, in all good faith sir, I do not think it is a good idea for master Draco to go home this Christmas if his father is still how he is now. It would be no holiday for him."

"No, I am not going to let that happen, you don't worry Jane. I shall talk Draco in to staying here with me. Somehow, I do not think I am going to have` to try very hard." He sighed.

"There was a time that the only hard thing about them was getting them to part with one another. Draco was his father shadow when he was a boy. It was all I could do to get him to the classrooms some mornings so that the master might go to work."

Severus nodded.

Once again he could only admire her sense of loyalty to the family they had built.

Author Note; I cannot believe that it has been so long since I updated. I have been so snowed over with University and stuff but as I said before I will finish. I beg you patience guys. Review replies are coming out in the next couple of days. I hope your all well and enjoyed the chapter!

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