Chapter 49

"I don't know Uncle Sev."

Once he had woken up from his very peaceful sleep Draco had been pleased to find that his uncle had not left him but was know sitting up in his arm chair with a book.

Just as he had been getting ready to go though his uncle had made him an offer he was not sure he was going to be able to refuse.

"I promise you we'll have a good time."

Draco looked unsure. He had not even thought about Christmas really. He had just taken it as a given that he was going to go back to his dad for it.

But now that Sev had said that he was going to be at Hogwarts and he would be delighted if he were to stay too. Well, it wasn't so easy was it?

"Can I think about it?"

Severus nodded. "Of course may. Just as long as you know that the offer is there."

It was then Draco's turn to nod. He had to say he was glad that it was there. It was good to know he had someone there who wanted to have him close by.

It did not register with him till that moment that Severus had been more a father to him of late that Lucius had been, and he wished their roles were reserved. He'd give his uncles attention up any day for his fathers.

However, he knew that as ever Severus would come good on what he said to him and they would have a wonderful time if he stayed.

"Can we ask dad to come?"

He knew he was probably still angry but he had not seen his father it what felt so long. Maybe because he had not been there in mind over the summer.

Severus sighed. "If you really want me to ask Lucius to come then you know that I will but you know the two of us are not getting on at the moment - Struggling to see eye to eye." He did not think him coming to Hogwarts would add to the festive spirit.

"I still don't get why that is," He sighed. "What did he say to Jane when she went to see him?"

"He was – a little worse for wear at the time, little dragon." Severus sighed. He knew if he was going to keep Draco's trust he had to be honest with him.

"He has been ill? Why didn't you tell me before?"

"Because he is not ill Draco – he has merely been drinking a little too much. Another reason why I do not think it would be appropriate for you to go home at the moment."

Draco looked confused, but Severus knew that it would be nothing compared to the confusion he would feel if he were to see his strong hero a drunken mess.

"We can ask him here and we can ask Jane to come as well."

The lad nodded and pulled the blanket over him once more, not sure he was ready to leave the safe haven that were his uncles rooms yet, as it seemed not even Severus could keep him from the truth anymore. He was glad he knew deep down, but like the old saying he could not deny that the truth hurt.

He knew his father had always enjoyed a fire whiskey or two at the end of the night. But it had never occurred to him he had a problem with it.

When he did go back to his dorm room though he got out the letters he had so far received from his father.

He looked at the hand writing. Maybe because he knew they were not filled with half to affection they had been the year before he had hardly read them as much he had his first year letters but now that he did look closely at them, he saw that his father's hand writing was hardly as strong and bold as it had been the year before. It shook from time to time.

Going back to the shell that had been his father had been hard enough when he had to do, but to do it now that he didn't ... and he did not want to see his father drunk. Sev was only trying to protect him.

Taking out a piece of parchment and a quill, he sighed.

-

Dear Father,

I hope that this letter finds you well. Due to the displeasure I know I have made you feel of late I have come to the decision that rather than return to the manor the Yule tide, I would serve both yourself and myself better by remaining in school in order to use the library and improve my grades. If this causes you further displeasure, all you have to do is write to me and I will of course return to you.

No one misses their father as much as I truly miss mine,

Love Draco.

Lucius' hand shook at the respectful, distant letter he held. He wanted to be called dad once more. He wanted news of Quidditch.

The bottle in his other hand was soon at his lips. He did not see Hannah as she stood by the door as she looked pityingly.

He would come home... and Lucius longed for him to return to him. But he knew the state he was in. He was not in a good place – certainly not in a place where he might be a good father. He would be better by summer.

But not Christmas...

-

When he got no reply by the time the list for signing on to stay at school at Christmas came about, Draco Malfoy added his name to it. He knew Severus had written to Jane and that she had replied that indeed she would ensure that she got the time off; the three of them would be together for Christmas.

He knew the two of them were doing all that they could for him, but he just got the feeling that it was not going to be much of a holiday. Not only was there going to be no Malfoy manor, he knew that his father was not going to turn up. He just knew it. Added to the fact that this was also the first holiday he was facing without his beloved nana... there did not seem to be a lot to celebrate.

Before Christmas he did have one thing he was certain to enjoy though and that was his Quidditch debut against the Hufflepuffs.

The Friday before at lunch, the team sat together. He, Stephen and a lad named Tom Davies (who was now a beater) were the new players along with Cho Chang who was now a chaser.

"Now that we have you four newbies on the team, no one can deny the odds are against us." Said Roger Davies, Toms elder brother and their captain. He was a brilliant strategist, his Ravenclaw brain showing even on the pitch. "But I think we have bonded together in training. A clean win would be good, but if I am honest I would love it if we can bring it to a swift end, so Draco I want you to be sharp on it."

He nodded. "I can do that."

"Good," said Davies nodded. He was determined to get the cup, and prove his own worth. Being a fifth year captain put a lot of pressure on him. Most people did not make it until sixth or seventh.

Draco was day dreaming through potions that afternoon. He could not wait to get out on to the pitch the next day. He was not so distracted by his day dreams though that he did not notice Hermione Granger stealing potions from his uncles supply cupboard when a Filibuster firework was set off in class.

He had been planning to stay behind but he wanted to know that was going on and he was no grass. Not that finding out what was going on ever seemed to do him any good these days.

He was one of the last out though, sure to keep an eye on what the trio were doing. They were all looking pleased with themselves.

The three of them hurried off together; unaware he was on the trail. He suddenly felt a tug at his heart, seeing the camaraderie he had once been part of exhibited by the three of them.

He followed them all the way to the girl's bathroom on the second floor. All three of them went in.

Why the hell would the two boys go in there?

He did not know but he was going to go in and find out. Just as he put his hand on the door though.

"What are you doing Malfoy?"

He sighed. "Nothing Professor Lockhart. I just thought I heard someone crying."

"Well you get one of the girls to go and investigate you young lothario." He said with a cheesy grin and a deep chuckle.

"You're right; I'll go get my friend Mandy." He said and headed off in the direction of his common room before his Defence teacher could reply. Of course, he had no intention of alerting her.

But he had every intention of discovering what the Golden trio were up too this time.

-

An ecstatic Draco landed on the Quidditch Pitch, in his hands the tiny gold snitch. One hundred and fifty points had been given to his house meaning that he had won the game for Ravenclaw.

And now everyone was cheering his name.

He had barely landed before he had been embraced by Davis who was looking at him as if he was his hero.

"You did it, you did it Draco, you little smasher."

"Knew we did the right thing when we put you on the team."

"Well done Malfoy – you did us all proud today."

It was what he had needed for so long he now realised. As soon as he had got on to the field he knew what he had been missing all those months. He had simply needed to feel as if he was part of something worthwhile.

So many times before he had been happy in the knowledge that he was a true Malfoy. When he had lost that, he knew he had lost quite a bit of his identity.

But to be the hero of the Ravenclaw Quidditch team, that was something. Suddenly he felt as if his life had taken a turn for the better.

Looking up from where the teachers were sitting he saw that as the game had been against Hufflefpuff, Flitwick was not the only professor who looked on with delight at him. For the first time ever on a day of a Ravenclaw match, Draco knew Severus had beaten his head of house to the stands so that he might get the best seat.

But if he had thought he was going to get a private moment with his uncle to celebrate his victory with him then he was soon proved wrong. The Ravenclaw's looked on at him adoringly for the rest of the evening as they partied on into the night. They all knew that they had not quite won the house cup yet but it had certainly been a step in the right direction.

In fact, it was well into the next week before he could pass one of his house mates without a smile or a pat on the back. Unfortunately his victory did seem to have reignited whatever Mandy had felt for him the year before. But he was on such a high that he did not even care.

One of the best things to happened though was when Hercules came into him on Monday morning at breakfast he carried a note which bared the Malfoy crest. He had felt sick when he had received it but when he had opened it to find his father had merely wanted to convey a very simple message but once made his heart sore.

'Well done."

-

Due to the fact that message, for the first time in weeks things seemed to be once more going the way of the Malfoy heir. The note he had got from his father may not have been the one he had been secretly hoping for (the one which would call him to return home) but it had at least shown to him that he could do something right in the eyes of his father.

He also enjoyed very much the Duelling club which was set up by Lockhart who naturally was only too willing to play on the fears that the students had over the attacks. And as odd as he felt about being there knowing just who was responsible for attacks, he had to say it was worth going just to see his uncle in action. He suspected it was really Dumbledore who had put him up to it, not trusting Lockhart on his own. But with Snape there mocking him at every turn, the club run by the Defence teacher turned into more of a joke than it already would have been.

"I don't understand why Dumbledore even let him teach here, he is such a fool."

"Draco, you know as well as I do that the job is somewhat, as they say, cursed. I expect he had to take on whoever offered to take it."

After the Duelling Club, Severus had offered him a late night pass if he had wanted to return to his rooms for a while in order to have tea with him. More than ever Draco felt close to him, and had jumped at the chance. The way he had once been eager to be with his father, thought Severus pityingly.

"But..."

"But what?"

"Everyone says if you were given the chance to be the Defence teacher then you would jump at it."

Severus smirked wryly. Yes it was his hearts desire to be in a different teaching post than the one he was in. He had to say he was shocked it had taken his nephew a year to ask him about it.

"Suffice to say Draco I was not offered the spot." He said with a look that told him the subject was to be dropped.

"Well just so you know, I think you'd make a great Defence teacher."

"Possibly," Severus agreed with a sad chuckle. He wondered if he was ever going to get out of potions. "Still, I would not be as good at teaching Defence as you are at playing Quidditch"

Draco blushed. He was still buzzing off of his first game and he had to say he was unable to wait to get back out for his second.

"Though of course this does mean the Slytherin's are in trouble now." Draco reminded him.

"I am sure you are going to find that we can take the competition."

"Then I think you are underestimating the Ravenclaw's."

"Perhaps." Severus nodded as his lip curled.

Draco fell back against the sofas and smiled, thoroughly enjoying the banter.

"Come, I should take you back to your common room." Said Severus as he stood up.

"Oh come on Uncle Sev, I am not a first year now, I can find my own way back."

"I am well aware you can find your own way back to your dorm room Draco, but you are also aware of the fact that students must be escorted by a teacher at the moment at all times if they are out in the corridors."

"A pity you are not so eager to enforce this when you take the second year potion class around." Teased Draco.

"Draco." Severus drawled.

"Besides you said it yourself; I am a pureblood and so am not in any danger. Come on Uncle Sev..." he said as he walked over to him and put his thin arms about the man. Severus nodded as he embraced his nephew.

"Very well. It seems there is no holding this new, confident Draco back." He mocked.

"Damn straight," he nodded.

"Good night then Dragon."

"Goodnight."

Later that evening, Draco lay awake in bed, wishing more than anything he had let his uncle take him back to the dorms. When he had been going back he had felt his head go and before he had even had time to register what was happening to him he had woken up to the news that two more people had now been petrified.

There was another student in the hospital wing because of him and this time it had been Justin Flnch Fletchley. He did not know why but it was harder than when it had been Colin. Maybe because he had known him. He had been to classes with him.

Not only him, but Sir Nicholas, the ghost of Gryffindor, had also suffered the same fate. He was petrified. Unable to move, talk, do anything. And he knew that he had killed a rooster too. He had taken life – but then it wasn't him. It hadn't been him. All of this pain...

Yet, there he was lying in bed and he had to say that after what he had done he felt odd calm about the whole situation.

He lay there and he breathed, in and out.

In and out.

-

What he did find hard though was seeing Harry have to take the blame for what was going on. It was the looks that he saw people give him in the corridor. It was the way that people did not sit next to him in class. He had to say when he looked at the deal that his old friend had been given in life; it did not seem to be a lot of fun being the Boy Who Lived. And now he had been unjustly dubbed the Heir of Slytherin.

Knowing what was going on, when he walked into the library to see him by himself, he felt he could not walk by.

"Hey Harry, how are you?" he said to him, as other students looked on amazed that he had spoke to him.

But Harry looked rather shocked himself.

"Not great." He admitted to him.

"No, I should imagine not. Don't worry about the idiots who are spreading the crap about you. You're real friends are on your side."

He looked at him with appreciation.

"Thanks man."

"Anytime."

That had happened the day before the Hogwarts Express was due to leave. He was the only one out of his dorm who was staying for Christmas. He had seen them all off to the station and he stood, a solitary figure watching the train pull out of the station.

He wished he could time travel. He knew when he would return too. A year ago, to the very day. Because he knew that a year ago he had felt hope win his heart for the holiday season and he had already begun carol singing, or humming anyway. And when he got off the train he had been greeted home by the two words which had once meant everything to him.

Which still meant everything to him.

'My son.'

His mind went back to the note he had got after the Quidditch game and he used it to comfort himself that perhaps his father was coming round to him and perhaps when he got to the next Christmas things were going to be as they had been the year before.

He turned and walked back to the castle, preparing himself for his very first Christmas without his father.

But not alone. He wasn't alone.

Please review!