While I have been doing these chapters non-sequentially as I think of plot-bunnies, I felt like this one needed to be before my side quest that will come here soon.
Did anyone else wonder how the Inquisitor's companions magically survived the avalanche that buried Haven? Cause I certainly did. Here's some closure for those of you who also obsess over such details.
Thank you all for your reviews and follows! Lilybud, you are amazing. Thank you so much for your well-thought out comments. :)
Admission
Their trip back from Adamant Fortress was easily the worst since their slow trudge back from Haven before they had recovered Arya. Solas had only been there for the latter half of the retreat, arriving after the weary and wounded villagers had made camp, having gone with Arya to fire the last of the trebuchets into the mountainside.
They were unable to run to her aid when Corypheus confronted her, their only means of reaching her blocked by the dragon's giant mace of a tail. They were awestruck as she stood her ground, the flames around her rising higher with her fear while she screamed her defiance at her enemy. Her courage and unwillingness to back down kept him spellbound, costing them the precious time that they could've used to avoid they avalanche they all knew was coming.
He had a moment's indecision in whether or not to save himself or go to her, finally cursing that he would had to leave her, as she was now replaceable and he was not: her personal mission was done with the Breach now sealed. His heart was heavy with the decision, pained even, as he knew he would most likely be leaving her to die. But the huge snowslide was gaining momentum and he shouted at his companions to run, mumbling into his hands and sending a teal colored magelight in the direction he saw her fall before he ran for his life, calling on the spirits to grant them all haste as they ran.
Iron Bull obeyed the shouted command without question, his large legs carrying him swiftly after the mage. He didn't even need to pause as he swooped down and grabbed the ginger dwarf, tucking him under his huge arm. The dwarf only briefly squawked out a protested, "You can't carry a dwarf!" while they ran for their lives, racing against time as the descending wall of snowy death thundered down the mountain towards them.
He ran toward a pair of large pines, hoping that Iron Bull was following him, working a spell, muttering to himself almost frantically as he began to weave the protective barriers into it.
"Duck down as low as you can." He ordered as they reached him, and released his magic when the avalanche was merely 100 yards away. Ice erupted around them, knitting together in a solid shell that encased the bottom of a tree and barely crested their heads. Varric sucked in his breath, and Solas was reminded of the dwarf's paradoxical fear of caves, and their icy prison was quite a tiny cave.
They waited with baited breaths as the wall of snow crashed into their shield, which shrieked as the ice cracked, lattices shearing against one other, but it held. The ice roared around them, Solas kept magic twinkling at his fingertips, ready to strike and surround them with a barrier should the icy shell fall. Varric was wide eyed and absently clutched Iron Bull in his terror.
Eventually, the roar diminished into a whooshing that slowly abated into nothingness as the world around them grew still.
Solas exhaled only then, allowing himself to fall backward against the icy wall, exhausted, but pleased that they survived. He would've been able to save himself, certainly, but he would've had to give himself away, a feat that would have long reaching consequences if Iron Bull and Varric had managed to survive. He was glad it had not come to such a thing.
After they had calmed down, Solas couldn't let them rest to completely collect themselves - they had a limited amount of fresh air remaining in their shelter. He gave some brief instructions to the Qunari and dwarf before he signaled the Iron Bull with a nod and broke their icy shell, throwing up a barrier to prevent the snow from burying and suffocating them. The large Qunari worked quickly, packing the snow to form a vertical tunnel, using the large pine tree as a guide.
Luckily, their placement at the mountainside allowed most of the snow to funnel past them, and there was only ten feet of it piled on top of their shield, which Iron Bull easily dug them out of. Varric hurriedly scrambled up the tree, and Iron Bull stood ready to grab Solas as he dropped his barrier, pulling him up through the tunnel before the snow could collapse over his head.
When they had collected themselves enough to survey their surroundings, they found the entire village to be completely buried in snow, all traces of its existence obliterated. Even the Chantry was not visible.
They all stared, eyes searching the landscape, unwilling to voice their main concern.
"You think that the Boss made it?" Iron Bull eventually broke the silence.
"We can only hope." was Solas's sad reply. He was unable to locate her aura, the snow causing too much interference despite his attunement with the element: too much air mixed with the ice. He was even unable to locate his own magelight, which was unusual, but was comforted by its steady withdrawal from his magical reserves, suggesting it might be sustaining her.
He refused to think the worst, for which his practical self scolded him. In fact, it took considerable effort to convince himself that it would be futile to search for her – they had no supplies, no food, and it would take days of digging through the snow to unearth only a fraction of Haven. But his heart's wishes were echoed by the dwarf.
"She could still be alive. She's cheated death what….three times now?" Varric's voice was confident, and his optimism tore a small smile from Solas's lips.
"At least." Iron Bull conceded.
"That she has." Solas also agreed, allowing the faint hope. "I sincerely doubt that she is done surprising us. She enjoys it far too much." He smirked at the memories of her astounding ability to catch him off guard.
"Well, might as well head back…" Iron Bull said sadly before he turned and trudged off through the snow, easily able to maneuver through the tall banks.
Solas surveyed the snowy horizon one last time, casting his magic out in all directions as far as he could in his exhaustion before he accepted defeat. If they were unable to find her soon, he would have to cease the tethering magic lest it consume him, and she would slowly succumb to the cold.
Cullen and Cassandra greeted them after a lengthy hike, their eyes crestfallen when they saw that their Herald was not with them. Cassandra glared at Solas, who glared back, refusing to let the Seeker sense his upset at Arya's absence before he started stumbling toward the camp.
"We are going out in search of her. Solas, can you provide us light?" He noticed that she did not ask if he would like to accompany her. He would've had to refuse, unfortunately, his magic spent in beating back the raw might of the avalanche and in fueling his magelight, which still drew from him. He wished to conserve as much of his energy in possible in case they were unsuccessful in locating her quickly.
Solas looked at her, considering. "I would, Seeker, but my magelight is guiding another. I suggest that you look for it if you wish to find your Herald." He said no more and approached the camp, which even from this distance, reeked of despair.
Only those tuned to such despair would sense it now, its pungent tendrils all but swallowed in the excited buzzing of the Inquisition's forces as they made camp for the night. Oh, what a difference several months of training and their first solid victory made, the Inquisition downright elated, its numerous bonfires so large and proud that they almost begged attack from their enemies.
The true horrors of Adamant Fortress were easily forgotten by the soldiers. He looked back to the two agonized friends, elf and dwarf, as they sat huddled in front of their gloomy, flickering fire that reflected the mood of the Inquisitor quite well.
Varric had said absolutely nothing since their emergence from the Fade without Hawke, walking with his head downcast as he trudged beside Arya, who had refused to leave his side. Solas was disquieted by the dwarf's uncharacteristic reticence, and respectfully gave Arya privacy to be with her friend, though he desperately wished to comfort her in her obvious hurt. She refused to enter the camp proper, insisting that they pitch their tents as far away from the commotion as possible, eventually nesting at the periphery of the mages' camp, hoping this would discourage visitors. Only Solas and Dorian had elected to stay with Arya and Varric, for the others were too discomforted by sleeping near so many mages, which Solas knew was by her design.
He knew that human mage and the storyteller were close, and was pleased Arya took the time from her duties to comfort Varric. He had to prevent himself from staring at them, almost distressed by their closeness to each another and their joined hands as they talked. Dorian sat near the pair, reading a book and providing the comfort of his presence while Solas stood sentinel, refusing to let others enter their camp, trying his best to give his friends the seclusion that they needed to mourn. He only had to threaten a few of the more noisy and drunk soldiers with magical dismemberment before the word spread and they were left alone.
Eventually, Josephine and Cullen had found them, and Solas knew better than to bar their approach, but glared a warning at them as he allowed them to pass. As they approached the Inquisitor, he heard whispered condolences and then they requested her presence at war table tent to answer questions in matters of state. She stared incredulously at them, and the fire roared briefly in her annoyance for which Josephine looked startled. Solas was amused to watch Arya compose herself before she flatly told them to take care of it themselves. Josephine cast a knowing look from the elf to the dwarf before inclining her head respectfully, roughly grabbing Cullen by his furred collar as she dragged him away. The Commander gaped, disapproving.
Solas took the opportunity to smirk at the ex-Templar, who glared back. He knew the Commander was sweet on the Inquisitor, and enjoyed being able to assert her preference of him over the human. He resumed his post as the two leaders walked away, whispering hurriedly under their breaths.
Eventually, Arya and Varric stood and hugged before Varric headed for his tent. Dorian had left a while ago in search of a nightcap, leaving Arya to him. She turned and shuffled toward him, her hand rubbing the back of her neck. He stood, waiting for her to approach.
She said nothing when she reached him, her eyes downcast, and he took her in his arms, holding her close. She clung to him, and he could tell she was trying hard to not cry.
"Thank you." She said quietly into the furs around his neck. He squeezed her gently in response. When she pulled away, he kissed her forehead, his lips lingering before she gave him a grateful smile. She walked back to their fire, tending to it briefly before she entered her tent.
When he entered her dream, he was immediately thrown off of his feet by a huge explosion that rocked the entire Fade. He managed to steady himself after the second boom and looked around, wondering what on earth would cause the very ground to heave in upset and noticed a large column of smoke in the distance.
As he walked toward it, the storm continued, the ground quaking with each loud BOOM. He frowned, wondering if seeking her out was wise – he rarely intruded upon her dreams, but his inability to talk to her in the waking world distressed him so much that he decided to risk it.
As they spent most of the journeys in the Fade in his own dreams, he allowed himself to be impressed with the details of the forest in which he now walked, the decidua primeval and virgin. He was forcibly reminded and slightly jealous of her control of the Fade, again wondering if the Mark had anything to do with such an aptitude.
As he walked under the primal, viney canopy, he started to make out shouted words that were punctuated by the explosions. By this point, he knew to expect the sporadic rumbles, and would brace himself. He assumed he was close by how near the now numerous columns of smoke rose about the vivid canopy.
"WHHYYYY!?" came a mournful howl followed by a detonation that shook under his feet. He came upon the edge of a clearing in which she stood at the center, and he crouched in the bushes at its border, only slightly guilty at the intrusion as he watched her.
"Why me?! What do you want from me?!" she shrieked at the sky, her hands entangled in her hair as she raged, for the long red curls had become completely undone from their usual elaborate braid.
He watched in amazement as lightning flew from her hand to a large boulder and the giant rock exploded into gravel as the ground rumbled, the small pieces flying out in all directions while the majority disintegrated into powder and fell into a heap.
She conjured several more large boulders, sending lightning into each in turn, shrieking in her fury as they exploded. She lifted clawed hands and a rock the size of hart rose into the air. She violently pulled her hands apart, and the boulder ripped open from the sheer force of her will.
She was shaking by this point, and fell to her knees, head bowed backward in exhaustion, apparently spent as her arms hung limply at her side.
His want to go to her won out over fear of her anger at his intrusion and he stood, moving to step over the sheltering bushes. He had a moment's warning as the air crackled to duck before lightning flew over his head, exploding the tree behind him into splinters that flew outward as flaming projectiles. Unable to justify his annoyance since he was trespassing, he started to disentangle himself from the prickly plants in which he dived with a huff.
"I don't know who you are, but you should leave." Her voice dripped venom and she stood facing the direction in which he lunged to narrowly avoid her projectile, hands crackling with electricity as she readied herself to strike.
"Calm yourself, da'len" he said, managing to stand and dusted off his shirt, picking out a prickle that dug into his shoulder through the fabric of his shirt.
She started, her eyes widening. "What are you doing here?"
Her question was stupid and they both knew it: this was the Fade, his realm. He had obviously entered her dream to talk with her, as she was too preoccupied with Varric that evening to pay him any attention. She knew that, but they were both painfully aware of how vulnerable he was seeing her, her face red and mottled as she frantically wiped away the evidence of her despair and anger.
"Lightning?" He asked, trying to layer his voice with humor as he walked toward where she stood at the epicenter of her destructive fit. He was rewarded with her slight smirk.
"…fire wasn't doing enough damage." He laughed as she hung her head in good natured shame.
"I can see why obliterating things would be therapeutic." He added when he reached her. She nodded, her cheeks a shade of pink, refusing to look at him. Eventually, she sat on the ground, hugging her knees to her chest, burying her face in her legs.
He dropped to sit beside her, his feet out in front of him, and put his arm behind her.
"What happened, da'len?" He asked in a low voice.
She was silent for a while, and he let her work through her thoughts, knowing she would elaborate when she was ready.
"I…I let her die." She finally said, voice thick as she lifted her head, eyes distant. "She refused to come back with us…and I let her sacrifice herself. I should've made her come with us, but I didn't. I left her knowing that she would die."
"From what Alistair says, you would have all perished were that the case." Solas consoled as he rubbed a small circle on her shoulder.
"I just…" she paused, biting her lower lip. "Ilyara asked me to keep Alistair safe for her. In her letter. I just…I just couldn't let Alistair be the one to die, even though he insisted he should stay to make up for the mistakes the Grey Wardens made. I had to practically drag him back with me." She wiped her face hurriedly on her sleeve.
"Who I am to decide who lives and who dies, Solas?" she spat angrily. "You saw my memories…this came to me by accident," she threw up her left hand irritably.
"And…?"
"And what?!" she huffed in frustration.
"How does the situation in which you came to possess the Mark invalidate your obvious 'worthiness' to bear its responsibilities?" he asked patiently. She buried her face in her knees again.
"I didn't ask for any of this. I don't want this type of responsibility. It's not fair. I just wanted to do Keeper Marelli proud and learn something new to bring back to my clan. And I feel like such a spoiled child pouting and throwing a fit." Her voice was thick, heavy with self-loathing.
"It's quite reasonable to be distressed by your circumstances, Arya, and I am both surprised and impressed that this is the first time I have heard you voice your frustrations." It was true…she had born all of the hardships in silence, with quiet dignity that consistently impressed him. Even with her temper, she had never once voiced her upset at being thrust into the role of Inquisitor.
"Unfortunately, da'len, we cannot choose our circumstances…we can only choose what we do with them." He was silent for a while, hoping that she would voice her concerns to him, but she stayed in the shelter of her knees, lost in her thoughts.
"Arya, did you force Hawke to stay behind?" Solas eventually inquired.
"No…I just…didn't stop her when she told us that Alistair was needed to rebuild the Grey Wardens. That much is true, but I don't know if I let her do so because of that reason or…"
"You were afraid of disappointing the Hero." Solas responded quietly, understanding.
"…yes." She answered into her knees.
"So now you are wondering if your reasons were just in who you chose to save in addition to speculating if, had you done things differently, you could have saved them both." She nodded after a moment's pause.
"Arya…try as you might, the hard truth of life is that you cannot save everyone. And there are people who are more expendable than others." He held up his hand as Arya lifted her head and opened her mouth to protest. "Please, let me say my piece." She closed her mouth and nodded, returning her eyes forward as she continued to hold her knees to her chest.
"When I say that people are more expendable than others, I do not mean that people themselves are expendable. You had a very similar conversation with Leliana when she had doubts, if I am not mistaken." She looked sharply at him, and he chuckled.
"You forget that I reside in the bottom of the tower where the Nightingale nests. I am aware of much, da'len." She narrowed her eyes at him, but made no comment. He continued.
"Valuing life is admirable and necessary, but your good heart interferes with the practical aspects of ruling, of which you now bear the responsibilities. And as much as it pains me to say this," he grimaced, "Alistair was the more valuable member of the team. Hawke's deeds were significant in the past, for she was the catalyst for the mage rebellion, but she has since kept to herself after helping the rest of the Circles rebel with Anders." She smirked slightly through her tears.
"You really don't like the Wardens, do you?" she asked. He blanched, choosing his words carefully.
"I do not…enjoy what they have become, and I do not wish to speak more on the matter at this time." She shrugged and didn't question him further, which surprised him greatly, though he was relieved.
"Alistair is needed as a figurehead to help rebuild the Grey Wardens – many of this time have apparently forgotten that we need the Wardens to combat the Blights, of which two still remain." She nodded, remembering their previous conversation.
"So while I certainly do not agree with your decision to give them free reign in the Inquisition, I do agree with your alliance, and we need them at their best. And with the Hero on her own mission...he is the only one who has a chance at restoring them…and the world needs a reminder of the good that the Wardens can do in light of recent…events. Helping Ilyara was a positive consequence."
"And while you might only see that last reason, I know you understand the importance of combating Blights if we succeed in our endeavors, of which I am sure we will do. You are just less cautious than I, which in this case, is probably a good thing." he admitted.
She nodded, still lost in thought, and her eyes welled.
"I…I made the choice even knowing how it would destroy Varric." This admission caused her shoulders to shake and she started to weep openly. He felt his entire core soften at those words, realizing this was what was causing her the greatest distress. Before he realized what he was doing, he had gathered her into his arms and held her close to him in his lap, cradling her head against his shoulder. She clutched to him, burying her face in his shirt as she cried. He rocked back and forth comfortingly, lips resting against her forehead.
"That's the trouble with leading, da'len – your responsibilities to your subjects often mean that the ones you love pay the price." He told her dejectedly. As I am well aware…
Guilt consumed him as he held his weeping love in his arms, unable to deny his consummate culpability as the ultimate source of her situation, having given his orb to Corypheus for him to misuse. All he could do was help her maintain her sanity and strength while they recovered it.
She sniffed, "I just…I was never trained to be put in this position…to make decisions like that. I have no idea what I am doing, ever. It's like I am fumbling around in the dark, hoping I don't mess things up worse than they are. I can only do what my heart tells me, and it's so selfish sometimes. I was just so afraid my selfishness caused me to make a wrong decision, causing one of the people I love the most to suffer for the benefit others." Her words struck him to the quick as she echoed his introspection of his own situation. He squeezed her tighter to him.
"For what it is worth, da'len, you did the right thing, regardless if you think it was selfish or not. And I have seen enough of you over this past year, talked with you, seen every one of your decisions to realize that selfishness is not a trait you possess much of, if at all." And it was true: she constantly shamed him with her actions, gave him hope for his people.
They sat there for a while, Solas reveling in her closeness to him, cradling her in his lap. She had stopped her weeping, and sat with her face in his shirt.
He contemplated the woman in his arms, this gorgeous wisp of an elf, beautiful and extraordinary of both body and spirit who put even those of the distant past to shame. He beat back the gnawing thoughts at the back of his mind that he needed to leave her, needed to disentangle himself from her now so that it would be easier for her to move on when he inevitably had to leave to fulfill his own responsibilities. And she was a mortal…it would be unfair to her to continue letting her worm into his heart.
As if she hadn't captured it completely already.
But he couldn't. Her mere presence was invigorating, and he basked in the smell of her, all the more keen in the Fade: fire, female, a faint smell of vanilla from the lotion she used in her curls.
How had such a being come to exist? His thoughts drifted to the Anchor that now dominated her life, almost wanting it to be the sole source of her magnificence, an explanation for her existence, but was reminded of Cole's words to her, spoken in the late hours of the evening after a weary day:
You are too bright…like counting birds against the sun. The Mark makes you more…and yet it wasn't what made you that way.
What had made her that way…was it her Dalish heritage…her magic? What?
"What were you like, before the Anchor?" he asked, curiosity overwhelming him. She disentangled her left hand from his clothes and brought it palm up before her face, turning it over as she contemplated. She shrugged.
He elaborated, slightly embarrassed. "Has it affected you? Changed your mind, your morals, your…spirit?"
She thought about it seriously.
"I don't…believe so. I feel no different. I don't think I would have made any decisions differently than I did before it came to me, if that's what you mean." She said, unsure.
"Ah" he looked down, voice low. She chuckled softly, burying her face into his shirt, breathing his scent. He smiled and nuzzled his face against her hair.
"You sound disappointed." Her amused voice was slightly muffled as she said the words into his shirt.
"It's just…you show a wisdom I have not seen since," he paused, emotion causing the words to almost spill out before his brain halted them. Careful…
He coughed, recovering "…since my deepest journeys into the ancient memories of the Fade." The words poured out in a rush. "You are…not what I expected." He added quietly, hugging her tightly to him, unable to find more adequate words to express his rapture of her, his inability to tell her she was the first person since his waking whose caliber of spirit rivaled that of the ancient immortal elves, his people. Her ancestors. She laughed.
"Just what have I done that's so surprising?" She asked, amused. He shifted, uncomfortable in his inability to cogently form his thoughts.
"You have shown…subtley in your actions, a wisdom that goes against everything I expected. If the Dalish could raise someone with a spirit likes yours, have I misjudged them?" His last sentence was more of a musing than a genuine question. He felt her shrug in his arms.
"Honestly…not really." She admitted, which surprised him: he knew she was enormously proud of her Dalish heritage. "I was often disappointed in how my clanmates cared more for showing off a particularly impressive kill or complaining about how terrible humans were. I was one of the few who actually seemed to care about the old ways."
"Perhaps that is it. I suppose it must be. Most people act with so little understanding of the world….but not you." He was unconvinced, and it must've registered in his voice, for she laughed.
She nuzzled his shirt and looked up at him for the first time since he gathered her in his arms, her eyes twinkling. "But I already told you that I don't know what I am doing…I just follow what my heart tells me is right and make up the rest as I go."
"Then that makes your heart all the more extraordinary and unique in all of this world." The most extraordinary, most wonderful..
He brushed a stray curl from her face, basking in both her beauty and in her adoring gaze.
"So what does this mean, Solas?" her eyes were soft, a beautiful shade of emerald, and he felt heat rise in his face, the air around them buzzed with anticipation, and he noticed the slight tilt of her chin as she lifted her mouth towards him.
Shame flooded him as he realized that his awe of her and want to comfort her had wholly distracted him from his promise to himself that he would prevent her from getting this close to him. He had let the moment go too far, and brutally reminded himself that she was a mortal whose duty would bifurcate from his and that he had to protect her from the path he must walk.
To do otherwise would be unforgivably selfish of him.
He turned from those glorious green eyes, motioning to disentangle himself from her.
"Solas…" he halted at his self-given name, but did not turn back to gaze at her, knowing that if saw hurt in those magnificent eyes, he would be unable to pull away from her.
"Stay with me?" Her voice pleaded, quiet. He stiffened. Here was the chance, the chance to pull away, reject her before it was too late.
"I shouldn't, da'len…" the words were almost cold as he desperately fought to rebuild the figurative wall between them, furious with himself that he had let it crumble.
"Why?" was the instant response, and he felt her eyes harden in the way the Fade simmered around him.
"It would be kinder in the long run if I did not." He dismissed her instantly, his heart breaking. You could never possibly understand…please let it lie, vhenan. Even as he told her "no", he found his wall failing, cracking at the hurt in her voice. And he found himself unable to detach himself from the beautiful, fierce creature who had captivated him so. His weakness in his inability to keep away from her would be her undoing, and he was too selfish to pull away even now, no matter how much his brain nagged at him. He could only hope his cold words would push her away.
"I don't believe that." She almost snapped. "Just as you don't really believe that." His gut twisted and he opened his mouth to protest angrily, but a gentle finger on his lips shushed him.
"Please….it's my turn to have my say." He shut his mouth in assent, wanting desperately for her to not continue for fear that her words would shake his resolve. But even now, he was unable to remove himself from her as his brain screamed at him to leave, not to let her have her say.
"I know you want to protect yourself." She said "I know you are scared this might not last…it's a war. People…" she gulped "people die. Important people." His heart broke for her. She thought he was pushing her away because he feared for his own well being if she died, elucidating that she understood that their love might not last, only she was afraid of her own death. She was afraid even more that she might not survive to complete her task.
Ma'vhenan, you are so brave and good. You do not deserve the likes of me and what I must do. But oh, how I want you, regardless. Please do not say any more, you threaten to undo me.
"But please, Solas…please stop pushing me away. You are my guide, my friend, my ally, my teacher." She balled his fists in her shirt, clinging to him, pleading. "If this is the only time we have to spend before the end, then I want to spend it with you…together." She said, her words determined.
There…she did it. Save for this foremost echo of his own thoughts as he argued with himself in the late nights, he would have been able to deny her. But not here, in the Fade, where her agony, loneliness, and want of him screamed from every angle in piercing waves.
"It would be kinder in the long run…" he said, his heart breaking with that truth. A small hand found his cheek and the soft fingers stroked his chin, beckoning, and he knew that if he turned away from her now, she would be lost to him forever.
And losing her would….
He realized that losing her would utterly destroy him. His heart betrayed his mind, convinced him that she would accept the consequences his love and its inevitable fallout, but knew that he still shouldn't allow it to come to pass.
But she was magical, full of life, and real. And she wanted him. Needed him.
And he found he no longer wanted to stop himself from needing her.
Damn him. Damn him for being selfish. He couldn't keep from her anymore.
"But losing you would…" He brought his mouth to hers before he could change his mind, enjoying the feel of her soft lips as they moved against his, setting his body aflame with the want of her, filing him with her fire. They stayed together for many moments, trying to pour their feelings into the kiss, and he broke apart from her reluctantly, his brain's need to use words betraying his body's want to maximize his interface with her.
"Ar lath ma, vhenan." He murmured, holding her eyes as he felt her constrict against him, those gorgeous green eyes filling, radiation pure joy. He smiled, and brought a hand to her face, where he wiped away the tear with a thumb, his heart expanding in his chest for finally being able to admit his overpowering love for her. She closed her eyes and buried her head into his chest.
"Ar lath ma, ma'salath." She almost sobbed into him.
The Fade around them erupted with her joy - colors burst brilliantly and trees exploded into existence as he looked up, watching with wonder as the Fade exalted in her elation, all evidence of her raging evaporated to be replaced by the primal forest through which he walked in search of her. Her power over the place made him envious as he held her close to him.
His mouth met hers again, and she trembled as they kissed, clinging to him as her arms wrapped around his neck. His body urged him to deepen the kiss, and he did so, pressing his lips to her more insistently. She relaxed in his hands, her mouth opening and his tongue roamed her mouth, groaning in pleasure as the familiar sensations began working their way outward from his belly. His mouth left hers and he kissed her forehead.
"Are you sure that you want this, vhenan?" He gave her another chance to refuse him, hoping that she would say no since he was utterly incapable of doing so.
"Please. I've been waiting for you my whole life. I am yours." She spoke in elven shyly, and he grinned like a fool, capturing her mouth in his again before he adjusted her in his grip. Her words reminded him that she was untouched, recalling a conversation between herself and Dorian in the wee hours of the morning after they returned from meeting his father in Redcliffe. His felt his love for her grow with the knowledge that she had chosen no other but him.
"Remember that we are in the Fade, Arya. It will be….different." he warned.
"Since when is anything we ever do conventional?" she replied, and he smirked.
"You have a point." He conceded as she grinned.
Strong hands lowered her from his lap to the ground before he swung a leg over her so that his knees straddled her hips, hands by her head. He gazed down at her, her gorgeous waterfall of red curls framing her face, her eyes full of love as she watched him as his eyes roamed her face.
He ran his hands along the grassbed upon which she lay, amazed at the unnatural feathery softness of the small blades. She must have anticipated where the moment was leading, her wants reflecting the changes in the Fade. He cocked an eyebrow at her, and she blushed at being caught, but her eyes sparkled.
He fell upon her the nape of her neck, kissing it gently, corners of his mouth pulling back in a smile as she shivered under his touch, goosebumps erupting across the exposed flesh of her neck and collarbone. He trailed kisses down to the hollow at the base of her throat then continued along her collarbone until his way was barred by her shirt. He pulled back, and his lips found her mouth again, kissing her gratefully as he positioned himself between her legs, rubbing his hips into her gently.
She broke away from his mouth with a gasp, her arms wrapping themselves around his neck as she arched instinctively into him. He was thrilled with how responsive she was to his touch, her tiny sounds of pleasure calling to him as he gently rocked against her through their clothes. He buried his head in the waterfall of her hair, inhaling the smell of vanilla, lust, and the primeval magic of a female accepting her mate for the first time, needing to suppress a growl of pleasure at the scents. He kissed her cheek, his rocking becoming more insistent as he began to nibble on the lobe of her ear, but as his lips traveled down her neck to the buttons of her blouse, he felt her stiffen.
"Solas." She said suddenly, her voice slightly panicked. He backed off instantly, propping himself on his hands as he looked at her, concerned.
"Did I hurt you?" he asked, his voice worried, his eyes searching her face.
"Oh no, no it's…" she sighed musically to indicate her pleasure before she bit her bottom lip, unsure. He had never seen her so vulnerable, her body shrinking away from him in her unease.
"Tell me, vhenan." He said, voice soft and encouraging.
"I've…I've never…" she was fighting to hold back embarrassed tears and he relaxed as he understood. He knew that she was untouched, but she didn't realize that he had overheard her admission to the Tevinter.
"I know, vhenan." He looked at her, trying to adequately fill his eyes with the love and understanding he felt for her. She looked at him questioningly.
"I overheard your conversation with Dorian, emm'asha. You should choose the locations such discussions with more care." She flushed crimson and averted her eyes. He responded by lowering his mouth to her neck, kissing the soft flesh lovingly. He spoke in Elven, needing the subtleties and clear truth that Common could not adequately provide, knowing she would understand most of it.
"This does not change how I feel about you, my heart, only how I want to pleasure you." He murmured the flowing words into her neck, nuzzling the skin below her ear with the tip of his nose before nibbling her earlobe tenderly, eliciting a quiet moan as she turned her head away from him to allow better access.
"You might belong to the Inquisition in the waking world," He pressed his hips into her again, pleased with the gasp the action elicited as he resumed his gentle rocking.
"But here, in this realm, tonight and always…you belong to me." Arousal made his voice husky, his fingers tracing along the skin of her arm. He rocked his hips more insistently, delighting in the whimpers he was eliciting from her. She began to rock against him in time with his hips, her motions eliciting a groan as he felt his member flex against her. She must've felt it, as well, for she grinned into their kiss, her fingers tracing his scalp.
"In fact, my girl, I am pleased no fumbling young suitor has had a chance to touch you, for you are too great a woman for them to handle." His mouth on her neck, he sent out his magic as cool, ephemeral fingers that ghosted along her skin under her clothes, the chill eliciting goosebumps as the tendrils of magic sought the smooth skin of her breasts, circling her perked nipples once before they traveled down her belly to trace loving circles along her inner thighs as they meandered down the smooth flesh of her legs. She moaned against his cheek, her sounds of pleasure music to his ears, her arms reaching out to grasp his shoulders, one working its way around his neck.
"And far, far too great a treasure for them to relish." His lips found hers again, and she kissed him hungrily, but needed to break away with a gasp as his magic found his way into her and stroked her gently.
"And relish you, I shall, my love." He purred, and she shuddered delightfully, her hands tightening around his neck, her body arching into his before the hands loosened and worked their way at the laces of his collar, undoing them slowly. He was torn between his need for total dominance and the joy of letting her remove his clothing, the latter winning out. He watched her concentrate, her brows slightly furrowed as undid the last of the laces, her cheeks flushed pink with lust.
She let her hands fall when she finished, and her fingers traced the wolf's jaw that hung down almost to her chest as he suspended himself over her. She tugged gently on his shirt, wordlessly asking him to remove it, as the hem was too far from her reach. He sat back on his heels, holding her gaze as he grabbed the now loose collar, bringing the garment and his token over his head in one smooth motion before tossing it off to the side and leaning forward over his love.
Her hands went to his chest instantly, entangling themselves in the small patch of black chest hair and he rumbled a noise of pleasure as he closed his eyes. She arched into him and his eyes snapped open as he responded with a thrust of his own before kissing her urgently, hungrily. She whimpered and trembled from the force of the kiss.
His mouth left hers as he trailed eager kisses down her neck, her upturned and bare throat all the more arousing as her confidence with their touch grew. He undid the first tiny button of her blouse, his eyes flicking up to her face to see if she was okay with this. Her smoldering green eyes were watching him intently, her breathing beginning to grow labored with anticipation as he undid the second button.
There was a loud BANG.
Arya bolted upright in her bedroll in the Inquisition's camp, eyes searching frantically as she heard laughter followed by more bangs. She growled, infuriated at being interrupted, her heart still pounding in his chest, her face flushed.
She snarled in her frustration and fell back onto her bedroll with an angry huff, debating about what to do next. She had finally, finally convinced Solas to be with her completely, and she was now terrified he'd reconsider due to the interruption, now having time to think it over. She was certain she'd be unable to fall back asleep easily, and she was so, so worked up and worried that she was seriously considering visiting him in his tent.
Her eyes had finally adjusted to the dim light and she stared at the top of her canvas tent, debating furiously with herself. She heard approaching footsteps and sat upright, not daring to hope.
The canvas flap was thrown open, and her heart leapt as Solas entered her tent in a whirlwind, his blue eyes intense as he descended upon her, kissing her so fiercely that she was forced back onto her bedroll. Her arms went around his neck instantly as she moaned into his mouth, thrilled with the sensation of his lips against hers and the knowledge that he wanted her enough to seek her in the waking world for the first time. She felt Solas's magic envelop the tent and recognized a silencing spell, enabling them some privacy as long as they weren't too loud. Solas took her neck in his mouth, kissing the flesh hungrily, undoing the buttons of her shirt as he kissed down her neck urgently, taking her collarbone in his teeth.
She could only gasp as he removed her shirt easily, flinging it to the side of the tent before he eagerly took a breast in his mouth, his hands teasing the soft flesh as she gripped his arms, nails scraping along the rough fabric of his shirt.
Emboldened by his explorations in the Fade, Arya found her shyness replaced with a burning desire, delighting in the enthusiasm of his mouth and hands as he explored her body. His lips and fingertips were teasing, caressing with a gentleness that belied his apparent urgency, causing an ache to start in her belly and work its way to her loins, where she felt herself swell unbearably with the want of him. The incredible sensations he wrought from her in the Fade paled in comparison to feelings his touch elicited now, and the feel of him hard and ready as he rolled his hips against her elicited a delicious ache in her belly. His intensity caused her hands to wander under his shirt and up his chest, whimpering as his mouth crushed hers before he began trailing hungry kisses across her jaw, finding his small nips intoxicating.
She nibbled on his earlobe and was rewarded with a rumble of pleasure as his body trembled, his rocking ceasing only for a moment as she ran her tongue up the length of his ear. He withdrew then, deftly undoing the laces of his shirt and pulling it over his head before he descended upon her again, pressing the naked skin of his chest against hers while he trailed kisses from her chin down her chest to her tummy, where he hooked his hands on her breeches and gave a tug, removing them easily with a slight raise of her hips, pulling the fabric down her legs until her feet were free.
She watched him as he prowled back up her body, and she cupped his face in her hands, bringing him to her for a kiss, where his tongue delved into her mouth, exploring insistently, causing her to tremble before he broke away and worked back down her body, trailing kisses along her neck, her breastbone, her tummy, her inner thighs, her…
She gasped in surprise when he took her in his mouth, and she saw him grin as her fists balled in the furs of her bedroll. Never had she felt such a sensation as when he teased her bundle of nerves with his tongue, circling, sucking, kissing, his hands encircling her hips, bringing her closer as he held her, his fingers tightening against her skin. She could only wriggle and press against him and mewl helplessly in his hands as her body was consumed by her bliss and her love of him.
"Solas…" she moaned.
"Yes?" he removed his mouth to replace it with a practiced finger, teasing it inside of her as he watched her writhe on her bedroll, his eyes excited and his mouth slightly open as he breathed heavily.
"Solas, I want to feel you." She almost moaned, her eyes begging.
"You are feeling me, vhenan." He teased as he bared his teeth in a smile. He added a thumb, which rubbed circles over her clit as she whimpered, her ability to speak rapidly diminishing as he sped his pace, his eyes impish.
"Make love to me, Solas…you are…too far away." She reached her hands up to him weakly, wanting his warmth and closeness, and he came into them instantly, grasping her elbows as he pulled himself up to kiss her sweetly before he rubbed the tip of his nose against hers, tracing it along her cheek until he nibbled an earlobe.
"Ma nuvenin." He whispered to her before kissing her cheek, his warmth disappearing from her for only a moment as he pulled away to free himself before returning to kiss her neck, hooking his arms under her shoulders.
She felt him spread her knees apart with his own, her breath hitching in her throat as she felt him press against her tummy, sure her heart was going to pound out of her chest as he planted a kiss where her pulse bounded in her neck.
He entered her with a quick thrust and she gasped at the pain as he filled her, but she smiled broadly at his groan of pleasure, his head dropping into the pillar of her neck. She clutched at him as he began moving ever so slowly to allow her time to adjust to him, thoroughly enjoying his labored breaths against her neck and the way his heart pounded against her chest. She brought a hand to the back of his neck and closed her eyes so that she could focus on his body as it moved around and within her, consuming her.
As he continued to rock his hips against her, her world narrowed to her lover and the feel of him moving inside her, enjoying the intimacy of their joining as pleasure replaced pain, moaning as she clung to him. He felt incredible as he, encouraged, began to speed his pace, rolling his hips up into hers more insistently, grinding, and she found the knowledge that pleasuring him drove her own higher as she began to rock against him from below. His mouth found hers and they breathed into each other, her moans morphing into a chanting of his name into his mouth.
"Oh…oh…Solas…Solas…" she whimpered, trying to keep her voice low as she clung to him, delighting in how calling his named seemed to rile him, spurning him faster as he again buried his face in the nape of her neck, taking the flesh between his teeth as he groaned into her skin.
As she wrapped her legs around his waist, she again felt the tendrils of his magic ghost down their flush chests to find her nub, where it caressed the tiny bundle of nerves eagerly, rubbing small circles as he continued his rocking, the pleasure in her belly building, building, building…
"Oh…wow…never felt…Solas….oh, Solas…Solas." she came hard, her entire body pulsing with her orgasm as wave after wave ran through her. Solas continued to move against her throughout, only letting himself spill into her with a groan when she was spent and lay quivering beneath him.
They lay there, panting and joined as the world slowly widened. She ran her arms along his slightly sweaty skin of his back and caressed his legs with her own before she arched into him ever so slightly, teasing.
She felt him grin against his neck through his ragged breathing, enjoying the feel of his heart as it still pounded against her.
He pulled back enough to be able to gaze into her eyes, and ran the back of a finger across her cheek.
"You are so beautiful." She grinned and nuzzled his cheek with the tip of her nose.
"That was…." Her chest heaved. "Wow." He chuckled before withdrawing from her and sitting back, placing the heel of his hand on her pubic bone, curling his fingertips over her coarse hair onto her lower belly. His hand glowed blue, and she felt the whisper of his magic as it probed her. She giggled and squirmed at the tickling sensation, but allowed it, trusting him as he grinned.
"What was that?" she asked, curious.
"An ancient spell of contraception. I figured our newfound…intimacy will be scandalous enough for our comrades without complicating matters with a child." She flushed, realizing she had not considered such a mechanic.
He laughed lightly. "Do not be disconcerted, vhenan. I'm sure your trust of me allowed you to lower certain barriers that you would have considered with less…able men." He waggled an eyebrow.
"Ugh…you are so smug sometimes." She laughed, holding out her hands to him. His eyes softened before he replied.
"At this moment, emma'lath, I have every reason in the world to be smug." He came to her then, laying beside her with his hand propped on his elbow. She took her time to look at him, then, entangling her fingers on his chest hair as he closed his eyes, enjoying her touch.
"You know…I have always wondered why you have no hair on your head, for I've never seen you shave it…and I now see that it's because it is growing out of your chest." He barked at a laugh, eyes still closed, but didn't reply.
"Then there's…" she felt heat rise in her face, unable to say the word as she looked at it. She had seen a few before when Keeper Mellari taught her basic healing magic, but never paid too much attention. Now she paid lots of attention.
She felt eyes on her and looked up to see Solas watching her examine him, a wide grin on his face. She flushed ever deeper, feeling like her face was about to burst into flames.
"Why, Arya…I do not recall ever seeing you so red…" he grinned wickedly at her, thoroughly enjoying her discomfort, his shoulders back and brazen as he posed.
She was so embarrassed that she wanted to die.
"Oh, shut up." She muttered, then ignored him as she ran her hands along his muscled chest and lower, curious. She grinned at his intake of breath when she touched him, her inquisitive fingers exploring shyly.
As she continued to explore, experimentally stroking and caressing, Solas eventually batted her hands away and kissed her eagerly. They made love again, Solas allowing Arya to set the pace as she explored his body, growing comfortable with their nakedness as she touched him, riding him slowly as his hands guided her hips, learning the rhythm of how their bodies moved together.
Her confidence grew and she rode him to his orgasm, thoroughly enjoying how he arched into her as his head fell back against the furs of her bedroll as he emptied himself into her.
They snuggled together afterwards under her furs, whispering to each other long into the night, enjoying their closeness, both thrilled by the discovery of each other as they waited for either sleep or the dawn to come.
I know it's a little unorthodox to change POV midchapter…but meh. It's how I wanted to do it. :D I hope the transition wasn't too awkward for you all, because I am very pleased.
I had expected this monster of a chapter to come much later, but I really wanted to have it finished before classes start back on the 5th, since my writing is going to slow to a crawl (and it's slow to begin with).
Happy New Year's!