Thank you for your reviews so far! Now that I have gotten some sleep, I can continue on! I am aiming to have this whole story published by the time I go to work tomorrow night. Hopefully. lol. If not, it will be soon.

Stephanie Meyer owns everything. I just like to do sick twisted things to her wholesome characters.

Chapter 5

BPOV

I stared at my father as Edward left the room. I didn't want him to leave me alone with Charlie, but if I said anything, It would possibly incriminate Charlie, and that would be bad.

"Bella. What am I going to do with you?" Charlie said once we were alone in the room. I just looked at him. his eyes were bloodshot, like he hadn't stopped drinking since he started up yesterday.

"I dont know... Dad. When are you going to stop drinking? You promised this time." I said quietly, glaring at my hands on the bed. If I showed fear, it would always be worse.

He walked over me, and leaned down, and started whispering in my ear, "I don't have to justify myself to you. And I don't want you here. How many times have I told you not to go to the damned hospital. Too many questions. and the moment a finger starts being pointed at me, you know I would have to kill you. You don't want that, do you?"

I sat there and cringed at what he was saying. However, I stayed silent. "Now I am going to go Talk to Dr. Cullen, and get ready to go home. You will say you feel fine, and that you want to come home with me." I nodded very slightly.

He walked out of the room, and I was alone. Not that I minded... I was always alone, it was better that way. But for some reason, even though Edward had been a class A asshole, he had been so nice since then. He had made me feel safe, even if it was just for a couple minutes. That was not something I was used to.

As I waited for Dr. Cullen to come back with my father, I tried to make sense of Edwards actions. He had been so rude to me. I know he apologized for judging me, but that still didn't make it go away. He had no reason to think I was one of them, and yet he assumed.

Then he was there, bringing me to the hospital, in his car. He smelled amazing, and he looked amazing, and sitting that close to him had made me feel like suddenly I was the luckiest girl in the world. He talked to me like he actually cared. It was probably just because he felt bad for me. I am sure that was all.

A moment later Dr. Cullen and my father came back into the room. Dr. Cullen walked over to me, and sat down. Charlie stayed standing, but went to the other side of my bed.

"Bella, You can go home with your father now. I have discussed your health, primarily, your weight with your father, and he will be making sure you eat atleast a solid three meals a day. If you stay where you are, you could die. And about the injuries, You should be fine to go to school again in a couple days. However for the next two days, I want you to stay home."

I nodded slowly, and watched my father while Dr. Cullen talked. I knew none of this would happen. Now that he was drinking again, we would go home, I would make him dinner, clean the house, possibly get knocked around a few times, then go to bed. I hoped he would go easy on me, but probably not. I knew I would not be eating, because Now that he was drinking again, he wouldn't want me to anyway. Thats how this all started. I didn't just one day express the urge to look like Kate Moss. I wasn't allowed to eat. Charlie would tell me I was fat, and he didn't want to pay to make me fat. So he stopped allowing me to eat regularly. For awhile I would still eat lunch food. But then I noticed, it seemed to make me feel braver. I couldn't control that he hit me, I couldn't control that he drank, but I could control this. I could control what I ate.

After a few years of this, when I started getting close to the size I am now, some sort of paternal instinct had kicked in, and he started telling me I should eat more. He still didn't want me to eat his dinners, because those were supposed to be for HIM, but he would put other foods in the house. Cereal, eggs, etc. He would tell me he wanted me to eat, and start punishing me if I didn't. Well, I never did. I refused to relinquish the one bit of control I had left. So here I was. I really was just as fucked up as he was. But then again.. I deserved it. He didn't. He didn't deserve to lose his Wife and his baby daughter.

Dr. Cullen and my father talked a little longer, and then the papers were signed, and I left the hospital with my father, being wheeled out to his cruiser. For good show, he helped me in, and then he got on the other side. As soon as his door was closed, and he was leaving, he glared at me.

"You're trying to make me look like a bad father, aren't you? How dare you go here? What the hell did you tell that doctor?"

"Nothing. I told him I fell down the stairs. And I told him I had just been sick for awhile" I said quietly, hoping this would appease him.

"Thats bullshit. Then how come he kept looking at me like I did something wrong?" Charlie said, getting angrier. He was speeding. I hated it when he sped.

"Dad.. I really didn't tell him anything." I said,staring at my knees. "Maybe hes just not as stupid as all the other doctors before..." I said so quietly after that he wouldn't hear.

"When we get home, you are going to clean up your goddamned mess from last night. Then you are going to make my dinner, get your homework done, and tomorrow, you will go back to school. I will not have you lazing about the house for two days. If anyone asks, you will tell them you felt better, and didn't want to end up behind on your work, because you just got here. To I make myself understood?" He said, his face set into stone. Who called it? That would be me.

"Yes Dad." Was all I said, expecting nothing left, and I leaned back in the seat until we got home. He got out of the car, and just went inside, not even asking if I needed help. Like I was suprised. I got up slowly out of the car, and almost collapsed. I caught myself on the car, and slowly made my way inside. I went over to the lamp that broke last night, and started cleaning it up. The glass left cuts in my hand. I then scrubbed the blood off the floor, and went to the bathroom to make his dinner. I made him steak and potatoes. One of his favorites, even if the smell of the steak made me feel sick.

I put the plate down infront of him, and went upstairs to do my homework. I had all of it finished within an hour, especially considering I missed Biology. When it was all done, I stared at the clock a few moments. I wasn't sure If I even wanted to attempt to sleep tonight. After awhile, you tend to get sick of waking up every night screaming an hour after you fell asleep. However, I needed as much rest as I could manage.

The smoke filled my lungs as I ran around desperately searching mother and little sister. I could hear them, they couldn't be too much farther away. Suddenly a beam of wood fell down infront of me, engulfed in fire. "Mom! Mom!" I screamed, gagging on the smoke.

My eyes were watering so much from the smoke, It was making finding them so much harder. I could hear Leah crying, and I could hear my mother screaming and crying out to me, trying to get me to save her. I kept looking around, trying to find her, but eventually the screaming stopped, the crying stopped. I searched more, the flames licking up my legs, burning my flesh as I ran. I was getting light headed, I couldn't breathe. Thats when I saw them. They were there, dead, the flames had burnt their flesh, leaving them shiny, red, and covered in blood. Their clothes were burned away, and their burnt eyes were wide open, staring up like they were staring at god.

I woke up screaming, and muffled my face with my pillow, tears running down my cheeks. I was shaking. I hated that dream.. Why must I relive that moment every night? why must I see my mother and Leah like that every night? Oh.. Right, because it's my fault. I deserve to see it every night. I did that to them.

As soon as I started calming down, I heard angry footsteps making their way down the hall. I quickly tried to act like I had been asleep still. Suddenly my door slammed open, and there Charlie stood, looking down on me with a mixture of hate, and something else I couldn't place.

"I... I'm sorry.. I had a bad dream." I stuttered out, still shaken from the dream.

"How dare you say that name in this house?" He screamed at me, and climbed over me on the bed, grabbing my shoulders and shaking me.

"Say what name? I'm sorry, I was sleeping!" I begged for him to understand.

"You said your mothers name. You have no right to say that name!" He said as he slapped me. I cringed.

" I have no control over what I say when I'm asleep, Charlie" I said, but he would have none of it. he pulled me out from under my covers, and threw me to the floor. I gasped in pain, but slowly got up.

"you know better then to say that name in this house." Charlie yelled, then stormed out of my room. Atleast he had gone easy on me.

I had no desire to stick around at this point. I needed some fresh air. So I waited for Charlie to go to bed before I put on my jeans, t-shirt, and hoodie. I quietly made my way downstairs, and out the front door, and just started walking. I didn't know where I was going, but I knew I just had to get away for a few hours.

It was colder out tonight than it was this morning, and it was still raining out. Before long I felt myself start to shiver. I could see the park up ahead, so I headed in that direction. There was a large Gazebo in it that would shelter me from the rain.

Once I got there, I sat down, and curled up, trying to warm up again, but it was freezing out, and I was drenched. Maybe this walk wasn't such a good idea. All they would find in the morning is a bella shaped popsicle.

I sat there for awhile, my head on my knees until I heard someone step onto the gazebo. He didn't seem to notice me. He was wearing a black leather jacket, and a sweater underneith.

I blinked a little, watching the person who had their back turned to me. Then I sneezed. Suddenly, the stranger turned around, and saw me. It was Edward, In all his bronze haired Adonis glory. His eyes went from annoyed at being interrupted, to startled, then concerned.

"Bella, What are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be at home, resting?" he asked, sounding maybe a little irritated that I wasn't following doctors orders.

"I um.. " I was trying to think of a reason, then I decided to stick as close to the truth, without being incriminating as possible. " I c-couldn't s-sleep... I needed s-some fresh air." I stuttered, looking down. I didn't notice that I was still shivering, I had just started feeling numb instead.

"Your freezing." he said suddenly, his tone laced with concern, as he pulled his jacket off and draped it over my shoulders, leaning infront of me. He looked even more glorious up close, my heart was beating, and the smell of his jacket was intoxicating. So many thoughts were running through my head at once, but the biggest one was, why is he being so nice to me still?

"I-I'm S-s-sorry." I said, looking down, afraid to meet his eyes. He shouldn't have to share his own alone time with me. He shouldn't have to be nice to me just because he felt bad.

"For what?" He asked, looking truely confused as to what I could possibly be apologizing for.

"For b-bothering you... You d-d-don't have to b-be n-nice to me... I know you are just d-d-doing it because you feel bad.." I said quietly, shivering hard still, "But you don't have to! honestly. I-Im fine!"

"That is one of the most absurd things I have ever heard." He said, rolling his eyes, sitting down next to me. "I am not just being nice to you because I feel bad. I like you, Bella Swan. Your interesting."

I blinked, looking at him, my cheeks flushing, and my heat suddenly fluttering. Wait, why am I so excited just because he told me he likes me?

"Your not getting any warmer.. You shouldn't be out here.." he said quietly, changing the subject again, looking at me. He was right, I was still shivering, my teeth chattering. "Come on, want to go for a ride?"

I looked over at him confused. Did he mean me? well there is no one else around. so obviously. "A ride..? where too..?" I said, looking at him.

"You'll see." He said, and took my hand, pulling me to my feet. I felt something like a suddent current run between our hands. but it didn't feel unpleasant. quite the contrary. It felt amazing, warm, safe, it made my hair stand on end. I dont know if he noticed it or not, but he started walking, dragging me towards his car.

The rain pelted us until we got into the safety of his car. He opened my door for me, and let me in, before rushing to the other side, and getting in. He immediately turned on his car, and with it, the heat. I was still shivering, so he turned the heat up, and looked over at me. "Are you going to be okay?"

"Y-yeah.. of course." I was already starting to feel myself warm up.

"alright." He said, sounding a little unsure then. He started driving, heading towards a direction I didn't know. "Are you hungry at all?" He asked, and looked over at me, and I shook my head. He didn't seem to pleased by this. "You should eat. I know of somewhere in Port Angelos that is still serving..." he said, seemingly more to himself than to me.

"No no, it's alright.. I had a big dinner... you know Charlie... I mean, my dad. He was worried, so he pratically shoved food down my throat." I forced a laugh. Edward seemed to relax at this.

"Alright then. So why couldn't you sleep.. If you don't mind me asking? You look like you could use a good nights sleep." I took that moment to find a particularly interesting looking hole in my jeans to pick at.

"I just.. I get nightmares. I can never get more than an hours sleep a night.. if that..." I said quietly. He looked at me shocked, and his eyebrows furroughed.

"How long has this been going on? That isn't healthy."

"It oddly enough.. It wasn't quite as bad when it started, seven years ago.. I would be able to go back to sleep after, and it wouldnt happen every night. and up till when I moved here, it wouldn't necessarily happen every night, so I would still get some sleep. Ever since I moved here though.. Its worse." I said, staring at the hole on my jeans. He was watching me, and not saying a word.

"Bella.. Have you thought about seeing someone..?" He finally asked, and I shook my head quickly.

"No. Well, I mean I have.. but they don't work." I said quickly and looked out the window, trying to portray that I really didn't want to talk about it anymore.

"Bella..." He said, but didn't say anything else. He looked like he wanted to, however he looked like he was fighting a battle with himself.

None the less, I loved it when he said my name. I loved it when he spoke period. His voice was like velvet. "What about you, what are you doing out this late at night?"

He looked at me, and thought for a moment before responding. "Wanted some time to think." he said, before turning back to the road.

"I'm sorry, I imagine you probably arent getting much thinking done..." I said, feeling guilty yet again that I had spoiled his evenning.

"Will you please stop apologizing? You have absolutely nothing to apologize for." He said, starting to look a little irritated again, but concerned as well. "However.. I will have to bring you home soon. I am getting rather tired.. And you need some rest. I guess its going to be a couple days till your back in school..?"

I sighed, a little sad that this was ending, but I would never complain. "No.. Actually, I will be in tomorrow. I um.. I don't want to fall behind, I just started. And I feel fine." I said, saying the line Charlie told me to give.

Edward looked thoughtful for a moment. "You shouldn't be going to school tomorrow."

"I really need to Edward." I said, trying to portray what I would never be able to say, that I had no choice. I had no control.

He pulled into my driveway, and turned off his lights. "Then how about I give you a ride to school tomorrow morning. So you aren't walking in the rain.."

"oh no no! I couldn't possibly accept that! It would be far too much of an inconvenience for you!" I said, shocked, I really didn't want to be more of a burden than I already was.

"Really, Its no problem, in fact, I insist upon it. I'll pick you up at Six-thirty. That way we could grab some breakfast before we go to school." He said. He was trying to feed me again. I had no excuse to get out of it.

"A-Alright... Tomorrow morning, I will be ready for six-thirty. Thank you for the ride home.. and everything." I took off his jacket, and handed it to him before getting out of his car.

"Goodnight Bella. Try to get some sleep." He said, and looked at me seriously, before leaving.

I went back inside, and looked around, glad to find it still silent, and slowly snuck up to my room, where I would sit reading the rest of the night until it was time for me to get ready for school. To get ready for Edward to pick me up for school.