Chapter 18: "All Hail the Whores!"
I woke up in my bed in the Asylum feeling both rested and disoriented. I had no idea what time or day it was. Noise in the hallway told me that it was morning and time for breakfast. Monday? Talk about a lost weekend. I got dressed without showering and scurried off for breakfast. Muttering that I overheard from other tables made it clear to me that another one of the friendless wretches getting only three bowls of porridge a day had died of starvation and had vanished into the maws of the trash incinerator. More ashes for the vegetable garden. This I already knew to be a regular event. Two or three times a year, perhaps. I also sensed the mood was uglier than usual. When I returned to my room to prepare for work in Rutledge's vegetable gardens, I found Nurse Dot waiting for me.
"I've got more information for you. Our dear administrator has no regular contacts outside of work. Practically a hermit. He lives like Ebenezer Scrooge completely alone. If he died, we'd be the only ones who would notice. Some of the residents who are living on those miserable three bowls of porridge a day have jokingly spoken of eating him. Would be a fitting conclusion for a man who enriches himself by starving others to death."
"We don't have to kill him," I whispered. I stepped out my door and looked down the hallway in both directions to see if anyone was around. All clear. I continued whispering in as low a voice as possible. The walls were too thick for my neighbors to hear. "I have a better way. You know those prostitutes down in that cage in the basement? They're not insane. They're quite rational. I went down there one day after the idiot twins had cut out early on work and talked to them. The key to my room also unlocks their cage. All we have to do is unlock their cage on a day when our dear administrator goes down there to leer at the animals. Our ladies of the evening can burst out of their cage and drag him in there for some fun. I wonder how long our dear leader's ticker can hold out while receiving the tender attentions of five professional prostitutes who know how to give a man one boner after another. How many boners do you think he could survive? Wouldn't that be a kick if the doctor had to call for a City of London coroner to verify that Dear Leader died while having sex with multiple prostitutes in an insane asylum? Can you imagine what the newspapers would do with this? The gossip sheets? The scandal rags? What a fitting denouement! Oh the delicious disgrace!"
Nurse Dot smiled at me. "We have a plan. You also have to go to the medical center for your monthly examination. It has now been two months. You still have one more month before your scheduled release." Nurse Dot backed up and looked me over. Then she stepped up and tugged, pushed, and pulled on my size 14 pinafore that I had gotten in a care package from the Reverend.
"That dress is getting close to fitting. I'm quite sure you'll be issued new underthings. I'm sure what you've got is too small." Nurse Dot backed up and looked me over.
"You look nice. Much better than before. Especially your face."
"Do I look pretty again?" Yes, I know. I'm quite vain about my face. When I was a small child, people used to make quite a fuss over how pretty I was. In the asylum, my face literally caved inward on itself. I transformed from a pretty little princess into a gaunt-faced teenager with a nose like an American fashion model.
"Yes, you do." Nurse Dot hadn't hesitated with her answer. She backed up and looked me over again. "You may have already hit your target weight for release. Want me to stop bringing extra meals?"
"Nope. Just keep bringing them. I'll know when to stop. One thing you don't know about me is that I've been through this being prepped for release before. About two and a half years ago, my grandparents found out that I had awakened from my catatonia. They wanted me released. Just as with the Reverend, the administrator panicked and had me stuffed like a goose for three months before I was supposed to be released. Then some busybody city worker decided that my grandparents were too old. My release was cancelled. The asylum had me on three bowls of porridge a day the very next day. My gorgeous, high, prominent C-cup breasts deflated. My 30-inch waist turned into a bomb crater. All my ribs ended up showing. My collarbone ended up sticking out. My rounded, completely smooth 42-inch hips that looked so spectacular in a dress vanished. My hipbones ended up sticking out and my pelvis became visible. I transformed from the voluptuous, rounded, full-cheeked Victorian ideal to a walking cadaver. I miss what I had. I'm ecstatic to finally be getting my face back."
"I didn't know you had been through this being prepped for release before," said Nurse Dot. "I can't imagine how you must have felt to have release snatched away from you at the last moment."
"Visions of chowing down on a certain city worker danced in my head."
"Visions of our Dear Leader croaking in the prostitutes' cage in the basement are dancing in my head."
Nurse Dot and I clasped our hands together and whispered simultaneously, "All hail the whores!" It took a long time for us to stop laughing.
End of Chapter 18
This story is based on the characters created by American McGee. EA (Electronic Arts) owns the copyrights.