Chapter 2: From Darkness to Amy Raudenfeld
(Trigger warning for mentions of rape)
"What's up, short stuff?" Amy asks softly. You lower down you fork and close your eyes. You take a deep breath and try to focus, to calm down enough to tell her what happened. She holds your hand and rubs her thumb along your flesh. You focus on that movement for a few moments before talking.
"A-a woman was walking past a back alley on 22nd street. We were driving down and I heard something like a whimper or something. I don't know, I just heard something so we went to investigate and we found her. We found her. She'd been raped and was beaten so bad and we were too late, Aims."
Your eyes are still closed as you see the memories vividly play out in your mind: her torn clothes hanging off of her bruised and battered body, the broken finger nails, the blood…the blood that taints the whole night red for you. You see Reagan running after the guy she just caught a glimpse of. You see the woman's face turn into that girls face from your College. That girl that you found raped at that party that you were at.
You finger nails dig into your palms. You ball your hands into fists. Your jaw is clenched tight and you focus on your breathing, just like Amy taught you.
"Oh, God, Karms. That's-that's—" You lower your head and open your eyes, focusing on Amy's hand that's still touching yours. "Karms—"
"How do these…monsters exist?" You turn to face her. "Why do people do things like that? It's-it's-it's just not right."
"I know."
"It's just not right."
"I know."
You hear her chair scrape along the floor seconds before you feel her arms wrap around you. She pulls your arm and so you turn your whole body to face her. She nudges your bent legs open and steps between them. You turn you head and press the side of your face against her stomach.
"I know, Karma. It's horrible, sickening. Just…wrong but you, you'll find a way to make it right." She cradles your face in her hands and like always, her touch calms you. She calms you. "You'll get justice for that woman, I know you will."
"I just wish-I just wish I didn't have to get justice for people, y'know? I just…yeah." You shrug and Amy just pulls you against her once again.
"Did you get him?"
"Yeah."
"How's she doing?" You shrug.
"Pretty serious injuries. The doctor said some stuff but you know I don't speak that language. Reagan took some notes so…yeah." She softly laughs, running her fingers through your hair.
"You should get some sleep. You'll feel better."
"I-I'll try. Thanks, Aims. You want me to help clear up?" You untwine yourself from Amy and stand. She shakes her head.
"No problem, sweet thing. And no, just go get that sexy ass into bed."
"What if I don't want to?" You wink.
"Karms."
"Okay, okay" you say, arms up in surrender and smirk on your face as you drag yourself towards your room. "Don't stare too hard." You turn around and wink.
"But it just looks so good," she says smiling and you laugh, lightly.
You slowly take off all your clothes as you walk down the hall, throwing them everywhere as your muscles and memories weigh you down. You know Amy will probably shout at you later for it but right now, you don't mind.
By the time you get to your bed, you dive into it and surprisingly pass out almost instantly. Just as instantly as you wake up a few hours later, gasping for breath and sweating.
Nightmares. You don't often have them but when you do, they're bad.
Today's was no exception.
The woman you found through the night morphed into Amy and you saw, you watched as a man raped her, fucked her in front of you as she screamed your name, tears running down her cheeks and her face bright red. You see him tear clothes and slap her across the face but you can't move. You limbs are led weights and the air is water, drowning you as you watch.
Now you're lying there, facing the ceiling and counting the stars Amy put there after your last nightmare.
"Aims?" She shrugs.
"When I can't sleep or I have a nightmare or a rough night or something, I look up at my stars and they make me feel better. They remind me of you, y'know? So I wanted you to have that, too."
And you knew in that moment you'd do anything for her, you knew that that last block in your heart slipped into place and you could never regret feeling like this.
Three knocks at your door bring you back.
"You okay in there?"
You don't respond. You've lost your voice, lost the energy to respond in any way. You just want to curl up and hide forever and so that's what you try to do. And that's how Amy finds you when she walks into the room, soft look in her eyes and baggy jumper in place. You love it when she's dressed like this, when she's dressed for home and so relaxed and so naturally beautiful.
You love her. You love her like…that. It's no surprise to anyone, least of all her. She knows you better than anyone, just like you know her better than anyone, including yourself. That's how you found yourself confessing all of this in a drunk induced ramble that concluded with you and Amy agreeing to just be friends for the sake of forever. You'd rather have her for the rest of your life as your best friend than lose her.
But it doesn't make it easy to cope with, especially when she walks into the room after a bad nightmare and spoons you from behind, no questions asked. Especially when she makes you laugh and cooks for you and is just perfect…for you when everything hurts.
"It'll be okay, Karma." You turn over and tuck your chin into her neck. She lies on her back and runs her hand through your hair. "You want me to stay?" You nod your head and move your hand around her waist, admiring the way the sunlight reflects off her blonde hair, her skin.
You lose yourself in the smell, the sight, the sound, the feel of her and somehow, all the darkness gets pushed back, at least for now. You know you need to talk about it a little more, you need to make sure the bastard gets what's coming to him but for now, for now you can just be here with your heart, your love, listening to her steady heartbeat.
"Why aren't you sleeping?" she says, thumb now rubbing your shoulder and urgingyou to get closer to Amy.
"Tonight." You clear your throat. "I'll sleep tonight."
"Okay."
"Hey, Aims?"
"Yes, Princess?"
"Wanna go to the diner, now?" She hums for a few seconds before responding.
"Sure thing. C'mon then, let's go get ready." She squeezes you close before getting up and heading out the door. The sway of her hips has always caught your attention and this time's no different.
You groan and collapse back onto your bed.
"She'll be the death of me," you say, just before you get up and begin getting ready.
And that's how you find yourself sitting next to Amy as she drives. You're playing with the radio. Bohemian Rhapsody has now finished and you're ready for some Taylor Swift.
"Midnight, you come and pick me up. No headlights, a long drive, could end in burning flames or paradise," you sing. Amy groans.
"How can you go from Queen, one of the greatest bands of all time to Taylor Swift?"
"Hey, hey, don't hate on Tay-Tay. I like all music." You shrug. "You have to listen to everything, right? What's the word for liking all kinds of music?" She shrugs.
"Eclectic, diverse, wide-ranging, broad?"
"Oh, lookit you, my little thesaurus." She gasps.
"Karma, I didn't know you knew such big words. My little baby's growing up." You laugh and slap her arm. She laughs and you love how big her smile is right now.
"How many more times, Amy, I am not little."
"Sure you aren't, short stack."
"Hey."
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. You know I love messing with you."
"Meany."
"You love it. You love me."
"Mhmm. You got that James Dean daydream look in your eye, and I got that red lip classic thing that you like. And when we go crashing down, we come back every time, 'cause we never go out of style. We never go out of style."
"Karms."
"What? It's a good song. Don't you like my voice?"
"You know I do, idiot. But c'mon, we're here," she says, throwing open the door. For a police officer, you're sometimes so unobservant but you got lost in the music. That's how you decide what you like. When you can get lost in it. It doesn't matter who sings it or what style of music it is, as long as it touches you. Unlike Amy and a million other people out there, you don't have a superiority complex when it comes to music. Sure you do when it comes to TV shows but not music.
"I'm so hungry," you say. Amy smiles and grabs your hand, pulling you in the direction of Dine in Style.
"Then move it, shorty. Oh and I love the dress." She winks and you try not to blush as you tuck a lock of hair behind your ear.
Only Amy Raudenfeld could ever get you like this over a dress.
You watch her take a bite of her burger and like 75% of the times before, she gets ketchup running down her chin. You laugh and she narrows her eyes at you.
"Don't think I've forgotten," she says after swallowing the bite. "Whose shirts I was picking up this morning." She raises an eyebrow and you sheepishly look down at your food, spearing the lettuce onto your fork.
"Yeah, sorry about that. I was really tired."
"Mhmm, don't do it again."
"I won't," you say, like every other time before. You both know you will and from Amy's small smile, you know she doesn't mind, not really.
"So, movie night tonight?"
"Yeah. Can we watch Magic Mike, again?" Amy rolls her eyes. "What? Even you can appreciate shirtless guys."
"Whatever you say, Karma. Whatever you say."
"So is that a yes?" She narrows her eyes at you.
"It's a yes if tomorrow we get to watch House Hunters." You laugh.
"You have yourself a deal, Miss Raudenfeld."
"It's Doctor to you," she says, not missing a beat. Everything is never this easy with anyone else. You're so glad she's here with you to get you through the darkness, to take your mind off everything. "Hey, Karms?"
"Hmm?"
"You wanna go shopping or something once we've finished?" You frown.
"You hate shopping."
"Yeah, but you love it and I know you're not feeling…the best so I thought…yeah." She shrugs and you notice the slight blush rising over her cheeks. You smile and your heart melts.
"Sure thing, cutie. Let's go to the mall and then we can go get you a donut after."
"Yes." She raises a fist in the air and you just raise an eyebrow at her and smile.
"You really love donuts, huh?"
"You know it."
"That I do."
A/N: Just a heads up, it'll be M rated soon for violence and stuff…There'll be sexy times later! ;) Let me know what you think, I'm nervous about this story...even more than the others.
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