Chapter 21: "In Humpty's Cubbyhole"
I needed a place to bed down for the night, and Humpty's cubbyhole seemed a reasonable option. It wasn't his real home, so I didn't feel like I would be invading his personal space. I just wanted a bed and a bathroom. I walked up to the wall, casually turned around just in case anyone was watching from a distance, and backed my butt up against the slightly protruding brick that opened Humpty's cubbyhole. It dawned on me as I pressed against the brick that my butt squished quite a bit before the brick pressed in.
I walked around the corner and found Humpty's cubbyhole with the door open. I looked around and saw that the cubbyhole was down far enough in the dip underneath the bridge that it would be difficult, if not impossible for anyone to see the open doorway if they were not underneath the bridge. I walked in and pressed a brick on the inside wall to close the door. I immediately looked around for a bathroom.
Humpty had a full-length mirror in his bathroom. Glory be for vanity! His and mine. I checked out my fanny in the full-length mirror and it didn't look absurdly large. It felt huge when I pressed it against the brick, but it looked okay in the dress. I had an obvious waistline which was considerably narrower than my bust or hips. I turned again in the mirror and actually felt rather sexy. I took off my dress and looked at myself in lingerie. In lingerie, my butt looked huge. So did my hips and thighs. In lingerie, I didn't feel so sexy. Cheshire chose that moment to pop up.
"You do know, Alice, that female body parts look larger when unclothed, don't you?"
"How nice of you to drop in, Cat! Right when I'm getting undressed. You always did like to see me naked, didn't you?"
"Not when you were a walking cadaver. You didn't have anything worth seeing."
"And now I'm worth seeing naked?"
"Now you're worth seeing naked. Not all bones sticking out any more. Nicely rounded in all the right spots. Even a bit of jiggle. Some jiggle is nice. Too little jiggle is just as bad as too much."
"Does the jiggle principle apply to cats?"
"Let's not get nasty, Alice. Some of my fur has grown back. Must be all those eggs. I do look better, hmmm...?"
"Yes, you do cat."
"Don't fret about your backside. It looks fine in a dress. Nice cleavage, too."
"I knew you'd get around to that."
"Have you wondered how your lingerie fits?"
"Yes, I have been wondering that. There's no way that the lingerie I arrived with could still fit me. I had absolutely no butt or boobs when I arrived. Now look at me." I took my bra off and peered in the mirror. My breasts hung just a little bit and the nipples had turned up. I poked them and they jiggled a bit. I poked again from the side and they even wobbled a little sideways. Cheshire watched me with his head tilted. Pervy cat. Much better than flat, I thought. I put my bra back on. No way was I going to sleep bare-chested.
"Your lingerie was swapped in Pale Realm when it was sent to the laundry, and it was swapped again in the Oracle Cave when Caterpillar sent your clothes out to be laundered. Caterpillar's been looking out for you. Didn't want you to panic from putting on lingerie too small to fit. Caterpillar may have swapped it before Pale Realm, too. Maybe back at the Card Guard compound in Wonderland Woods. Who knows?"
"I wonder what I weigh."
"Humpty doesn't have a scales, but I remember what you weighed the last time you looked about like this. I'd guess 135 pounds."
"That number sounds familiar." Then it hit me. "I've turned into Bridget Jones."
"Put your clothes on, Alice, and look again in the mirror. You'll feel better about yourself."
"No, Cat. I'm not going to put my dress back on. I'm going to crawl into bed."
I looked at Humpty's bed and was actually impressed. His sheets looked rather clean. Not bad for a man! The bathroom floor was dry around his toilet, too. No wonder women liked him. Cheshire jumped up on the bed and curled up right between my legs. I drifted off to sleep with Cheshire's soft purr in my ears and a slight sense of vibration in my crotch.
End of Chapter 21
This story is based on the characters created by American McGee. EA (Electronic Arts) owns the copyrights.