Author's Note: Fine! Moment of the revelation, the one you've patiently waited for all this time since February xDD Since I was told not to drag out the story more than it should, here you go: much longer update with a hella lot development... but finally, the upshot. I've got nothing more to say other than enjoy, because this is when the triangle starts.

Disclaimer: I do not own Resident Evil or any of its characters, only my OCs
Note: The poems are written by yours truly, so they're mine! xD

XVI

Equinox

'In literature, as in love, we are astonished at the choice made by other people.' Andre Maurois

"Is this one of the weaknesses you mentioned? You know, gazing up at the sky or like writing thoughts down?"

Jill turned her gaze to the sky above whilst Wesker left it fixed upon the sea below. They had both decided to ascend to the metal landing that overlooked the bay, both in need of a bit of fresh air; almost ten days kept underground -nothing compared to three years- didn't do much good. Jill had received the coldness of the ambient with an easy-going expression and a faint smile, a smile she had soon erased when she apparently remembered something unpleasant.

Wesker shrugged at her question, noticing how curious and odd it was to have her standing by his side with all normalcy, leaning against the railing with something akin to nonchalance. She seemed unfazed and almost ignorant of the fact that it was Wesker whom she was with, speaking with him as if she were speaking with her best friend. Something had made her change.

"It seems you had a look at my notes," he said, "since I never mentioned 'weakness' in front of you. You're a curious one, although I wouldn't have recommended doing it behind my back."

Jill glanced at him, her expression one of uneasiness. "You... left a notebook in my reach and there were some pages strewn across the floor. I picked them up and I read what they said; it was out of instinct. I noticed that it had more than the other one, and I lost my composure when I read it. After that, I realized. But I thought I told you... whatever it took, right? You're not any different."

A soft breeze blew towards them, a breeze that brought Wesker some words to speak in return. How she had caught his attention... but what was he thinking? Going for the impossible? Too reckless... although that's what he wanted to tell her with that blue rose he had left her. And indeed, it was impossible.

Wesker smirked. "That's correct. Another one of the traits we have in common." Jill frowned at him, somewhat doubtful and still curious.

"Why do you consider this a weakness? Many people do this; I, in fact, do it a lot... that is, when I have the time," she said, her gaze narrowing slightly. "It's actually nice. It helps you clear your head and think about whatever you want to. Is it something that bad for you?"

Wesker allowed the silence to sink in between them and lifted his gaze at the sky.

"You can reply, I won't get snappy," Jill prompted with a chuckle.

"I was only thinking, and I'm surprised you can stand being so close to me. I was thinking you were suspecting I'd push you over the edge should the chance present itself," he said, still smirking. "You know, for old times' sake?"

Jill sighed, a look of uneasiness passing through her features.

"You have, in a figurative way," she said, somehow casually. Wesker remained in silence once again, watching her give a low sigh and noticing the sad gleam in her eyes. "Sounds stupid and odd, doesn't it?" she then added with a bitter chuckle, looking at him. Wesker showed himself to be taken aback, something which made Jill stare at him in disbelief.

"So you're with your worst enemy, risking your life and you're concerned about if that sounded stupid and odd?" he asked, sensing how his voice showed both his amusement and incredulity. "As I said, you're one of the oddest people I've ever come across. And how have I pushed you over the edge, if I may inquire?"

"You've made me do something I never thought I would, although I guess you've seen it by now," she replied, breaking eye contact. "It's just... odd, yes, but I didn't see any other way around it. The changes in my behaviour were because I was... trying to come to terms with... with you and all you are." She eyed him gingerly. "Yes, even though you never asked for that... directly. These are the answers you were looking for, about my intentions."

"Surprising."

"I know, right?" Jill said, agreeing. "I knew that whilst I was with you, frustration wasn't going to help; it was a matter of going forward or falling back and failing. Besides, it wouldn't have helped me achieve what I had planned."

Still ginger, she met his hidden gaze and waited for his answer, although none came. As reluctant as he was to admit it, Jill had done something to him, had changed him somehow, had aroused a certain feeling he couldn't quite describe. No, it wasn't because of the power some women had over men or the influence they had on some; this was different, this was all because of Jill, Jill and Jill... no more, no less.

"Wise thinking," Wesker said at last, "and strange, too. What were you planning, since the very beginning?" Jill visibly hesitated as she shifted, uncomfortable, but then answered,

"It wasn't since the 'very' beginning, but a decision I made not too long ago." She paused, closing her eyes. Wesker felt the need to receive the answer he was looking for, as many times he had, but didn't press Jill any further. Why though? Why would he do that? When he was looking for something, he didn't stop until he got it, didn't care about what others would say or do... but why was he being 'considerate' now, as people would say?

"That decision was knowing about you," Jill said after the silence. "It was the only way I could... get rid of memories and nightmares. I thought I would be able to understand; that is, if you ever said anything. You being so secretive didn't help much."

The reply came as something close to a morbid surprise to Wesker. What the hell had that been just now? Nothing made sense, it still didn't. Even he had it in mind: they were supposed to be enemies! Hell, they still were! It was more than evident that hate still resided within both of them, still burned like the inextinguishable flame it was. If that was the case, then why was she trying to get close to him, get to understand him and all he was? Why come to terms with someone like him?

As I expected, my mind's still not how it used to be. I don't want to seem as if I'm looking for someone that understands me, but what if she can?

"Why the interest?" he then asked, avoiding her gaze. "You must've had a good, solid and sensible reason to do so." Through the corner of his eyes, he saw Jill shrug with slight nonchalance.

"I don't know," she said. "It's a strange feeling, which I think it found its spark a few years ago."

"Even though knowing all I planned to do? Have in mind that I'm still sceptical about your words," Wesker replied, his tone hard. "I haven't been fooled many times but the ones I have did their harm."

"It's not a trick or a strategy to fool you," Jill protested with a grimace, shooting him an intent glare. "I'm being honest; I wouldn't lie about this." She made another pause before saying, "There's something I wanted to ask you: all these clues point to some aspects I already know, but there's not much information. I think it's time I took this a step farther."

And then, the million-dollar question... or questions.

"You must have a past, right? Why is it something you avoid talking about?"

No, no, she can't know about this. I have to push her away, she won't know about it, she won't!

"What are you trying to accomplish with those pointless questions?" Wesker snapped, his voice harsh and cold. Jill gasped.

I'm contradicting myself-

"You don't have to tell me everything!" she exclaimed, straightening with a jolt and trying to find words to speak. "There's-" For some reason, Wesker couldn't stand it anymore; even his patience had a limit, and that limit hadn't been reached. His reaction, he knew, was out of pure frustration.

"You know I won't tell you anything; why did you ask? It's nothing of your concern, so don't bring that up again."

Just leave me alone!! he wanted to shout.

Calm, so as to keep himself from showing his frustration more than necessary, Wesker walked away, almost seething. Why was everything returning to his mind? Why now? Why had she asked about that? Even though it was something he himself had hinted at, why now? So many questions, so many answers.

"Wait!" Jill called behind him, but he paid no heed to her calls.

I'm so foolish. Why are the questions always the same?! Why did I get myself into this?! I'm supposed to have a mind to think; why didn't I use it, dammit?!

Suddenly, he felt Jill's hand closing itself around his wrist, and he swivelled around with a grunt as he shook it off. He certainly hoped that had been instinctive; otherwise... otherwise it would be something that'd haunt Wesker for life.

"Look, I'm sorry. I didn't intend to-" Jill started, her tone begging, but Wesker scoffed.

"Don't keep going with the sarcasm; I've had enough of it," he said, harsh. Jill looked bewildered, her bright eyes widening.

"It's not sarcasm!" she replied, exasperated. "Dammit, if you wanted to avoid this, then why did you leave all the clues behind? What are you looking for? What do you want?!" In the end, she sighed. "Just... don't misunderstand me, okay? I'm just looking for answers; I need them."

After a long, contemplative pause, Wesker turned his gaze away from her and lowered his head. The decision had been made, the cards were upon the table: now, it was all about flipping the correct ones. It was also like the game of chess: it was Wesker's turn to move.

"Your eyes have stopped gleaming," someone had once told him. Suddenly, he had an idea, although a very risky one. Why not allow him, the boy whose eyes had stopped gleaming, to tell her? It was also possible that he'd remember something else, too, so why not give it a try?

Don't you need those answers too? It's about playing for keeps now; take it or leave it. The answers are close: don't waste your chances.

And he didn't.

"Come. It's something someone else should tell you about."

xx

And the last thing he sees is flames engulfing and destroying his house. They were burning his past, his present, and his future. Now, there was no turning back. From now on, he feels -he knows- nothing will be the same.

XX

"Now you know. Surprised?" Wesker asked as Jill closed the notebook with a face in shock. It was clear she was shaken, taken aback by what she had just read, and she swallowed hard as she clearly struggled to find words to speak. "There's no need to say anything. I decided not to tell you myself, but leave the boy I was to tell you about that."

"That's why... that's why you mentioned the fairness of a boy being taken away from his family!" Jill exclaimed, shooting up from her seat in the couch. Wesker gave a mere nod, gauging her reactions and words. "I think I stumbled across one of these fragments, but I thought it so... terrifying that I was in utter shock."

He had taken her to room thirty-four, his personal study, for the exchange of information she had requested. It had taken a bit of courage, but Wesker eventually allowed her to read his notes from beginning to end, in silence and with no kind of initial explanation. He had seen Jill's expression contort with many emotions, but he hadn't seen hate yet. To his surprise, Jill had even made pauses before continuing to read, her features showing pain and sorrow. Indeed, his story was quite the ironic and cruel drama.

"You were this child?" she managed to say, the shock still unfaltering. "I would've never thought something like-like this would've happened to you."

"I don't need anyone's pity; everyone has their life," he said, shaking his head. "I have to say I was quite upset when I knew about it. Still, there was nothing I could do to remedy it and I carried on with it, like another weight upon my shoulders."

"But... but haven't you ever felt alone?" Jill asked, her brow creasing. At the word 'alone' and at the tone of her voice, Wesker smirked with humour.

"Of course I've felt alone; in fact, it was because I was and still am. It hasn't been something that has affected me though; I'm speaking in a material sense: having others to keep you company, I mean. Knowing I was alone was somewhat of a boost; I didn't need anyone," he explained, his tone slightly bitter. Jill kept silent, seemingly reflecting upon everything he'd said, and looked somewhat contrite.

"Even though all of this was, as I said, so that we understood each other," Wesker continued, "I had an ulterior motive, in fact."

First step: thinking his words carefully.

Jill frowned at him in a curious manner. "What's that ulterior motive?" Her voice was something close to soothing, like music to one's ears, but what was there to like in it? Was there a reason to like it, after all? Wesker made his next move.

Second step: daring.

"Reconciliation."

Silence, then, "You're kidding, right?"

Wesker shook his head, a bit baffled by her reaction. "Not in the least. Remember I once said that you and me were both in hell, although you were there for unfair reasons?" As he spoke, he noticed how Jill's features mirrored the horror she was feeling. "That's-"

"No, just... don't, don't continue!" Jill exclaimed, interrupting him harshly.

"Listen to-"

"Leave me alone!" she yelled. "Don't... don't say anything else! You're lying, you're lying! You're merely tricking me!" Wesker frowned, tightening his jaw.

"I'm not, I can assure you," he replied, his voice calm. Jill's features contorted with sadness as the tears left her eyes and she took both hands to her head, lifting her gaze at Wesker and keeping her lower lip from trembling.

"Tell me you're not pretending... It's-It's impossible to believe what you're saying, not after all you put me through, not after all you put us through. Why would you look for something like reconciliation?! You hate me, you hate me with all your might; you're pretending!" Before he could say anything else, she broke into tears, sobbing softly against a closed fist.

It's been long since I've seen her like this.

"You were my only liaison to Redfield," Wesker explained afterwards as he stepped closer to her. "You were my only means to make him suffer, but I admit you didn't deserve some of what I did to you."

"Some of it?!" she exclaimed, taking one step back as she stared at him with a fierce and angry gaze. "I've been lucky to still be alive; at least, physically. You killed me back there, and I'm sure you enjoyed it, didn't you?!"

"You were my enemy; what did you expect me to say?" Wesker replied, casual. "If we discard everything else, it all comes down to this: I suffered because of you, so I thought it was time you suffered because of me; it's that simple, it was retribution. You're like the double-sided mirror that kept the hatred alive."

"So you're saying it was all my fault?" Jill snapped, her features hardening. "You're the only one responsible for using hate as the guide of your actions!"

"Of that, I'm aware, Miss Valentine, but you yourself weren't conscious of how closely you tied Redfield and me together. The hate one of us felt towards one another was always reflected upon you; you were our link. Our hate goes from one of us to you, and from you to the other. Take the years I kept you in captivity as an example: through you, during your time of recovery, my hate was still alive."

Jill remained staring at him in silence, disbelief making her features contort into a grimace. "Then... you're saying I was destined to be the vessel for your hate? That I was... merely an instrument?"

Wesker nodded. "It wasn't a matter of destiny or fate, Miss Valentine. I never truly cared about anyone else; this was all between Redfield and me, just us both. You've felt hated all these years but, in truth, you weren't," he explained with surprising calmness.

I'm letting everything show; now it's too late to turn back.

"I still remember the joy of seeing and feeling your despair as it seeped through every pore of your body; I was even able to smell your fear," he said, "and I knew all of this would get to Redfield: it would be the most intense of tortures he'd have to endure. You should know that my field of expertise is the human mind, and the chance for twisting Redfield's was at hand. I couldn't waste it."

"You could've just left me out of this," Jill shot back.

"You're probably thinking this was unfair, but there was nothing else I could do. If there is one complex and philosophical relationship in this world, it's the one between me and him," he replied as he lifted his hidden gaze at her. "My cards are on the table and you've seen them. Should we call it quits?"

Jill shook her head, shedding more tears.

"No... I-I can't..." she managed to say, wiping her tears away. "I can't forget all of this... If you didn't hate me, then why did I hate you, huh? Do you think it's because of a senseless reason? Well, it's not, and you should know that. You're not-not getting your way with me..."

Wesker noticed it was almost impossible for her to stop crying, having the feeling the many painful memories were coming back to haunt her once more and torture her without relent. He felt somewhat uneasy and unable to handle the situation. No matter what he did, he knew he'd be the constant reminder; Jill wouldn't forget whilst he was around. There were no senseless reasons behind her hate: the death of S.T.A.R.S., the betrayal, the enmity, the captivity; they were weights upon their shoulders.

"It doesn't just involve me now," she then said, "but it involves Chris, too! When you hurt one of us, you hurt the other- you were even close to maiming us emotionally! I suffered countless of times because of Chris, who suffered because of you,and I can't forget that. I can see your intentions, but you know I'm unable to forget. You can't do anything to change that."

"Didn't you said a few moments ago that you would've liked to be left out of this?" he asked in a slight reproaching tone. "Then don't get yourself into it. From now on, this will concern only him and me, and no-one else."

"But it'll keep involving me! Can't you see-?"

"I can see. Right now, you're more alone than you want to imagine, because no-one understands you completely."

"And you do?" she shot back, scowling at him in frustration.

"I'd like to say so, yes. If you allow me to say this, why do you think I know you so well?"

"You don't know anything about me," Jill snapped, sharp. Wesker gave a light chuckle. She was hard-headed, alright.

"Everyone says that but, in the end, that's a lie," he replied, amused. "Do you think that only because I don't have anyone to be... emotionally attached to I do not know pain? And true pain, if I may emphasize? Have in mind that it doesn't mean physical pain, but-"

"Psychological pain," Jill finished for him, looking away. "Alone or in company, you will always feel it. If it's not caused for one reason, it'll be caused by the other."

Before he could control himself, Wesker neared Jill and laid both hands on her shoulders in spite of knowing very well she loathed him, and even beyond human levels after that revelation. She remained looking at him, her voice having faded away, in utter disbelief. He couldn't do anything else, not yet.

"The reason behind your pain is loneliness, and you're not quite used to it, correct? You don't have many people who understand how you feel; in fact, nobody would understand," Wesker reasoned, watching how Jill's brow creased in a contemplative frown. "Sometimes, consolation doesn't do much, and it might even make everything worse."

Jill sighed. "And the only place where you find haven from loneliness is someone else," she said.

"When there's no-one to rely upon, it always hurts, doesn't it?" Wesker spoke with a smirk. "There, now you found something else about me. You wanted to know about who I was, right?"

Jill seemed surprised, and Wesker continued, "You need someone to be with. I don't think I'm the best candidate, but I have the initiative. We're both alone; it's your choice first."

For a moment, Jill said nothing, remained thinking. Wesker didn't move his hands from their place and waited for Jill's answer, patient and calm. At last, she nodded as she calmed down, drying her eyes with her sleeve and taking a deep breath.

"You're not the best candidate, that's for sure," she said, her tone ginger, "but if that's your intention... then it's polite to say thanks, isn't it? But I just can't understand! I know you've said this is complex, and I really can't make any sense out of it."

"It is complex," he agreed, a bit absentminded. "There's no need to shed tears anymore, is there? Unless you feel like doing so."

"No! Of course not!" Jill shot back, shaking her head hastily. "I don't know what hit me; I'm sometimes an idiot."

"And you're quite right, I won't argue with you."

At last, after calming down, Jill said, "After reading the notebook, a question hit me. If you don't mind me asking, don't you... don't you have any other memories? Like about your parents or something?"

"That is, if I had them," he said in return, calmly.

"You must've," Jill intervened, "I'm sure of that. Have you tried to remember something else?"

"I have tried, but no memories come back," Wesker said, shaking his head once. "Also, I'm not fond of reminiscing,; it feels odd to do that." Jill lowered her head. "Please, why would you be sad for me? You're supposed to be thinking that I deserve what happened to me."

Jill showed herself aghast, staring at him wide-eyed. "Of course not!" she exclaimed, bewildered. "No, no, not at all! Nobody deserves to be taken away from their family. What Spencer did to you was cruel and heartless."

Wesker cocked an eyebrow at her; they were getting somewhere, indeed. "Amusing. Is this pity of some sort?" Jill's grey gaze met his, and Jill crossed her arms, showing him how convinced she was of her words.

"It is. It was unfair," she spoke with a nod, then sighed sadly. "What's fair these days, though?" Her gaze, sympathetic, brought a ghost of a smile to his features; she was catching on and quick.

"True; nice rhetoric," Wesker agreed, dipping his head at her. Then, he frowned slightly. "Are your scars still there?"

Jill seemed a bit surprised at his question, but replied nonetheless the way he wanted her to. "They are, and still unclosed. I don't know how long it'll take them to heal, but I can pull through. I guess yours are still like mine?"

Wesker knew which scars she meant.

"They're slowly healing, yes."

Step three: daring once again.

Wesker then reached for the handle of a drawer and had a small look at it before taking out a familiar object out of it. He knew Jill was observing him with interest and that undying curiosity that lived in her eyes, and he was tempted to smirk again. With as much interest as her, he lifted the object up for Jill to see before turning to face her.

"Also, are these still familiar?" he asked her, intending for the question to sound rhetorical. Jill blinked in surprise before nodding and taking them from his hand. She stared at them before saying,

"They're my tags! How the- Well, how do you still have them? I thought them lost." Though burnt and deformed, her name could still be read.

"I've kept them all these years. Even I am surprised to see they survived the crash; I recovered them in my last moments of consciousness," he explained, feeling a bit uneasy and insecure. Silent, not letting any thoughts cross his mind, he watched Jill give another of her small smiles, but it was also sincere.

"That's neat," she commented as she sat down, Wesker imitating her. "It's kind of you. Why though?"

"Remember that I once told you to hold on?" he asked her, and he received a nod from Jill. "I meant it."

She gasped. "Why are you telling me this?" she asked, her voice weaker than before. "Why did you tell me to hold on when you tortured me without relent? It's difficult to understand."

She's persistent, but it's not unusual for your mind to take time to accept certain things.

"I told you a mere minute ago. Aside from what I said, every time you fought back, you reminded me of him," Wesker said, putting special enraged emphasis in that last word. "I hate him, I despise him with all my might and my sporadic fits of rage were nothing compared to what I truly felt inside. He took everything away from me; the only fair thing was that I took what belonged to him. You'd be my only link to him when you returned with him; I knew he'd suffer... along with you."

"So you took me?" she asked, and he nodded.

My only way of getting you back.

Jill remained silent before saying, "I read somewhere that you can't hate someone without first hating something about yourself." Wesker tilted his head. "Does that apply to you?"

"I've always hated empathy," he answered, stating it naturally. "People are manipulated because of it, they suffer because of it, they're forced to be something else, something they're not. You've seen who I am, what I am. Sometimes, I can't fight against it and I hate feeling, for example, a heartache."

"You've felt it?"

"Many times," he spoke with a nod, "and every time it felt as if a piece of myself was torn apart. The last time was when I lost a close friend. I've always avoided to think about the past, even though it helps with the future."

Jill frowned, turning her sad gaze to him. "Somebody else would say you're insane or even dub you as a psychopath, but I'm starting to think otherwise: I'd say you have a complex mind. It'll be... hard to cope with all this, but I guess it was good to know." She laid a hand on his shoulder, which startled him. "Is it hate you really feel now?" A smile, a full-fledged smile was spreading across her face; even Wesker was amazed.

"It may be, but something else compensates it," he replied, his words enigmatic. "Everything's a bit clearer now. I'm no psychopath, let me remind you, but I believe that I'm someone who has been in ignorance for... more than I should've. It's almost odd, but this all intrigues me."

"I'm not forcing you," said Jill, "but at least you know a bit more."

Wesker smirked. "Will you stop bothering me about it now?" he inquired, and Jill shrugged.

"Who knows? I'll keep poking you about it if I find out you haven't been sincere with me," she replied with a faint laugh. With a mild chuckle, Wesker replied to her question before another one made its way to his mind. But then she stood up, sighing as she stretched slightly. "I should leave now; you need to rest."

She's leaving, she's leaving! All of this will have been in vain if you don't say it!

Step four, final step: doing it.

Before Jill could start for the door, Wesker sprung to his feet and, with a quick but gentle movement, he swung his arms around her, pulling her into the embrace they both surely considered an abstract idea, something impossible, non-existent. He heard her gasp in utter shock but he paid no heed to that, not moving from his position. Even his heart was racing now, as well as his thoughts.

"Wesker..." His name. She'd said it for the first time in almost years.

He shook his head. "Hit me, hate me more than you do, you can even think this is a game I'm playing, but you'll be wrong." He sighed against her ear. "I had to do this; words won't come out nor sound the same."

He meant it: how he felt could only be described through actions and sensations, not thoughts or words that would make it seem like a dream, a fantasy, a lie. There was no room for lies now; it was all meant to be genuine, even if Jill wasn't willing to accept it. Wesker had made his move, it was time to see how Jill would counter.

To his surprise, she spun around and embraced him in return, burying her face in his shoulder as her own convulsed as she broke into sobs again. And for the first time in also aeons, Wesker's features contorted with awe as his chest shrank in uneasiness; Jill's crying was like the tune out of a unstrung violin: it was killing him.

All because of emotions, all because of his feelings for her, once again driving him insane.

"Don't lie to me," she uttered, shaking her head slowly. Wesker sighed, tightening his grip around her and withdrawing to look at her. It was then that he realized something had healed, as if there had been a hole in his chest open for too long, a hole which had started bleeding since the word 'loneliness' stuck with him. Wesker left his arms around her waist, taking in every line of her features. She was beautiful; there was no denying that.

"I'm not lying, Jill. Trust me," he asked her, tucking some loose strands of brown hair behind Jill's ear. In return, she reached for his shades, took them off and their eyes met, blue against blue. It made him uncomfortable, but he wasn't one to complain. Those shades had been like the covers of a mirror; now that the mirror had been looked at, there was no point in covering it surface again.

Jill appeared confused. "You didn't say anything," she pointed out, which made Wesker smirk faintly.

"I didn't say anything, no," he echoed, his tone casual. "The mirrors have been revealed, wouldn't you say? Now you know almost everything: the eyes are the mirrors of one's soul. Search for lies, but you won't find any." He paused, allowing her to digest this, then said, "Turn around."

Jill did as he told her, and then Wesker did what he wanted, what he desired, not what he was forced to do: he slid an arm around her waist again, left his hand clasping the belt at her trousers and placed the bridge of his nose against the crook of her neck, breathing in really deep. He heard Jill exhaling, tense, something that made him smile. A shiver ran down his spine when Jill's hand pressed itself against his nape as she shifted, still tense and uneasy..

He decided to go even further: slowly, very slowly, he slid the tip of his nose up her neck, indulging in her bittersweet scent. He even felt an impulse that led him to do the same with his lips, and he left them grazing Jill's pale skin, fighting off an urge to dare and taste it. She gave a low gasp, one only Wesker could hear.

"Shh, relax..."

Once again, he inhaled, her scent the most tainting, intoxicating, confusing and alluring fragrance he'd ever sensed, a scent that had captivated him two years ago and that had haunted him till today. The attraction was unbearable, unbeatable: it was complete, total and absolute. All of a sudden and bringing him back from delusion, Jill craned her neck to one side to gaze at him and, after seconds of examining him and softening her features, she said,

"This is what isn't fair."

"What's fair now?" he asked, allowing a smirk to spread across his features. "Tell me why is it that I desire you so much. What have you done to me that I can't control my thoughts?"

Jill said nothing, and neither did he, captivated by her icy eyes. As she turned, Jill met his gaze once again and brought a hand to his jaw, gently going to brush her two main fingers over his lips. Wesker felt his breath hitching as he noticed her leaning in closer. As slowly as her, he did the same, feeling as a magnet about to join its poles with another; he couldn't withdraw, not even if he desired to do so with all his might.

But the past couldn't be changed, never could and never would.

Her lips touched his.

Along with their softness and warmth came pain, pain that grew even more excruciating when Wesker found the strength to kiss her back, just once. Her cold fingertips touched his cheeks before she took them with her hands, brushing her lips against his once again. But before it could all go any further, he stopped her, placing a hand on her neck to keep her away.

"Don't, just... don't. I can't-" Jill's arms found their way around his own neck, her eyes looking into his.

"It's okay, I-I get it," she whispered, shaking her head as she lowered it. "If you want me to-"

No, it's not that...

"No, no, I don't want you to do anything. It's just that... it's difficult to accept this. Are you willing to let this all go?"

Jill tilted her head. "Are you?" she asked in return. "Resent will remain, but I can't contradict myself now. I vowed to let it go, to keep the past from haunting me. You said it was my choice to make, and I've made it. Now it's yours.

"Isn't it time you unshackled yourself?" Jill asked, her tone sincere. "I know: I'm weak, and it looks as if I was trying to drag you along with me, but... why is it that you can't see in the light? Why don't you-"

"The light?" Wesker shook his head, giving a light chuckle in both amusement and disbelief. Such pointless metaphors, one that were many times applied to people like him: they were utterly idealistic, and he didn't sit well with idealistic concepts and behaviors. "It doesn't surprise me that someone like you is still thinking the idealistic way. You should be at least a bit biased by now."

Jill looked away, her lips thinning, and Wesker knew what to say next. Walking away from her, he approached his desk and propped himself onto it, watching her with a tilt of his head.

"Well, it's true, I tend to be realistic sometimes," she said, nodding.

"Sometimes?" Wesker chastised. "Well, each one to their own mind, but you should be able to understand me a bit better now, at least."

"I do, yeah. For example, that you can allow yourself a bit of emotion," she said, smiling faintly. "Which reminds me, it's time I asked you a philosophical question; I'm tired of answering them myself." Wesker remained in silence as a go-ahead. "If you say emotions are for the weak and that you hated empathy, then isn't it because you fear them?"

And she did hit a nerve.

Wesker immediately cursed not having covered his gaze again: he could tell that Jill was obtaining all of the answers by just looking at him. He despised to be readable, to be predictable, but if he didn't reply soon, it would be the sign Jill needed to see that she had been right. What to say though? One way or another, he would have to say something and no matter what, he'd end up losing.

In the end, he settled down his nerves and said, "Do you remember when I asked you what was the oddest thing about my gaze?"

Jill hesitated, but nodded. "I do. I still remember that it lacked the gleam it was supposed to have."

"People say that the eyes are the mirror's of one soul. A gaze gleams because there is emotion in the soul, and you saw that mine lacked both things," Wesker replied, avoiding to cross his arms. "This is something I never shared with anybody else, so consider this a privilege."

"What is it that you're trying to say?" Jill inquired, her gaze widening slightly in surprise and alarm.

"I was once beat almost to death," Wesker started, stifling an involuntary shudder as he started reminiscing, "and all because of the eyes you're now staring into. I was merely ten."

Jill's eyes widened further, a faint gasp breaking the following silence. Wesker kept silent for a few seconds more before continuing: even though those memories were faint and bizarre, he could recall what happened that day perfectly.

How can I still remember?

"They tested us to see if we had the strength necessary to keep going on through life, and many of my peers were tortured because of their inability to show that strength. My turn came soon, and I was the only one who showed it. I was told 'You made it'. My curiosity was piqued and when I asked what I had achieved, I received a simple answer: that my eyes had stopped gleaming."

"God..." Jill breathed out, and it was the first time Wesker laughed because of her ingenuity. It felt odd to do so, since he had normally chuckled or snickered with mirth. Laughter was something he'd almost forgotten.

"I don't think he's listening, and I also think he never did," he said after his laughter subsided. "Call me amoral and a lost sinner unable to find redemption, but what's called 'faith' never sat well with me." Jill erased the shock in her features and replaced it with amusement.

"Neat words coming from someone like you," she remarked, sarcastic, and then smiled. "It didn't sit well with me either, and it still doesn't."

"Then those words deprive you of the right to call me an amoral bastard," Wesker shot back, raising one thin finger, "because this god millions of people put their faith in has a very sick and twisted vision of good and evil, if I may say so, and you get my drift."

At last, Jill chuckled with mirth. "I don't think we're here to discuss that, are we?"

"We are getting somewhere, after all. Why?" he asked as he neared her and oh, how he intended that question to sound rhetorical. Jill didn't move from where she was and seemed to allow him to be that close to her. They stared at each other long and hard, and Jill gave an answer he himself didn't expect.

"Because we chose to, and it hasn't been because of fate, destiny or whatever you want to call it," she said, facing him, "and I think it was your choice, too, as well as mine."

"Of your decision, you'd have to be sure; of mine, oh, you assume too much." Wesker shook his head once, not taking his eyes off her. "I'll leave you to find out, though; let's see if you find the answer."

In the dim light, Wesker noticed how thoroughly she was examining him, how close they were, how strong his desires were. And then, ignoring his own thoughts, reason, everything there was to pay attention to, he closed the gap between them and placed a soft kiss on her mouth, a kiss that from soft and gentle turned to strong and passionate in mere seconds. He didn't think, only felt: all of his senses seemed to heighten with each second that passed.

He even felt a painful pinch of lust strike his chest and spread throughout his body. Finally, she was truly his; finally, he had her back. He would treat her like the only antidote she was to his insanity, even though she was poisonous herself.

I can't fight her... It's futile: I don't want to fight her... I want her for me, oh, and how desperately. What a foolish mistake, allowing her to slip from my grasp...

An involuntary moan rose in the back of his throat, one that he wished that hadn't escaped him. Jill showed herself to be a bit fiercer than before, and Wesker didn't waste his chance to let himself go and keep kissing her. As he allowed his hands to stroke the exposed skin of her arms, he also allowed hers to feel the skin of his back, almost unable to stifle a shiver when her fingernails grazed one of his scars.

The kiss turned simple, gentle, but he felt himself asking for more, the attraction transforming into uncontrollable desire. Why though? What was there to feel attracted to in her? In one word: everything. He found her touch invigorating, poisonous, breathtaking, all at the same time coming like a tidal wave over him that drowned him in a sea of confusion and pleasure. He pressed harder; Jill did the same, and both shared a kiss none of them could escape from. His whole being was on fire, and just because of something as trivial as a woman's cold touch.

They broke away, Wesker feeling how slightly but painfully Jill's nails dug into his back, but then at the same time they renewed the kiss, and he enjoyed it with all his might, he wanted to keep feeling the sweetness of of her mouth against his mouth, of her skin against his skin; there was nothing he wanted to miss, not after the never-ending fight against his own desires. Even though pleasure was easily obtainable, Wesker knew there would be consequences to face... but now, he didn't care: now it was only him and Jill.

'Get on with it, feel her! Taste her, touch her, breathe her in until her very essence has poisoned your blood! Let yourself go!'

I can't deny it any longer. I want her, I want her, never to let her go again.

And that was something he could allow himself.

An Eglantine rose for a wound to heal,
aconite for misanthropy, desire to kill.
A small, elegant balsamine for all their impatience,
a simple, delicate daisy for love's innocent innocence.

A/N: You must be saying, "For God's sake, FINALLY!" XD Well, this all required a nice, slow pace, and there you have it now. I tried to make it as gentle and slight as possible, since this is only the beginning. If it was a bit confusing the notebook thing, let me explain: the first notebook (the one Jill read in his study) was the important one, when Wesker wrote everything he could remember. The second notebook was another one written by him but had more enigmatic clues about himself, clues he wanted her to figure out. And the third is another one Jill has for herself, found around the facility if you may. Things clear, let's move on! We're getting a glimpse of how Chris is doing in the next chapter, so stay tuned!

Reviews are appreciated!^^