AN: So… how ya been guys?
Disclaimer: Isn't it obvious by now I'm not Veronica Roth.
Tris POV:
When I wake up reality hits me. I seriously put down my walls to make friends? Was I high on amity bread or something yesterday?
I shake my head in distaste of my own actions and slip out of bed. Maybe I can just avoid him saying it was all a really screwed up mistake. I run to the bathroom trying to be quiet because Peter gets pissed easily. After I finish showering I walk to my room to find my clothes.
I pick out old faded jeans with holes and a black v-neck with my beat up combat boots. I brush out my hair and walk into the kitchen. I sling my black and grey backpack over my shoulders grabbing a granola bar eating it quickly before brushing my teeth and walking out the door to see a very impatient looking Peter in the car.
He opens the passenger side door from the drivers seat saying in a harsh tone, "Get in the car." I merely nod my head and sit in the passengers seat awaiting for us to arrive at hell.
I look out the window watching the buildings and trees pass my vision. Peter is an only child no parents, no siblings, and no family. So he was put into foster care until Marcus took him in. It's really complicated considering Marcus lives in two houses. But no one says anything in protest to his living arrangements because everyone believes that the house I'm living in is strictly for business related things.
I wonder if Peter was mean before the adoption or if Marcus made him into a monster? When I was 13 and the kidnapping had just taken place I would see billboards and posters saying missing child Beatrice Prior. Since I can't remember my name I can't know for sure if that was me. Peter and Marcus wouldn't allow me to look at the picture of the child.
I've wondered everyday if she was me or if I was her. I still see a few posters up even 4 years later. I wonder how Caleb is and if he even cares I was gone. Or if my parents still care about me. When they kidnapped me they injected me with a shot of some sort making me lose my memory of my parents or if I had parents. Everything but Caleb which I still don't understand.
His face haunts me every night I wake up crying praying to one day meet my brother. I hate feeling like this lost, confused, and annoyed by everyone and everything. Once we're at school Peter pulls my hair roughly trying to get me attention. I groan and open the car door grabbing my backpack and walking to the school.
Once I find my locker I see Four standing in front of it standing patiently.
"Your standing in front of my locker." I say pointing to my locker behind him.
"I know I was waiting for you."
"Well you can stop waiting around because what happened yesterday was a fluke. I wasn't thinking straight. I like sitting alone at tables at lunch, I like not having a group of people pester me about my personal life, I like the silence, I like not having to try to impress people. I am choosing this I am making this decision. So please just drop it."
"Well I know one thing you won't have to worry about having me as a friend."
"And what's that?" I say in an exasperated tone.
"Trying to impress my friends and I because we're already impressed." He says walking away from my locker not protesting in any way.
I shake my head and continue forward to my locker putting in the combination and getting my books and notes for my first class, math. I look up at the clock and see I have 5 minutes till class starts. I begin my way to the classroom looking at my map to make sure I have the right directions.
Once I walk into the classroom I see the teacher sitting at her desk scribbling something down and a few other students sitting down making paper airplanes or something. I sit down at my desk quietly and wait for class to start when some jock throws a paper airplane at me gesturing me to open it.
I do and inside is scribbled "check out Instagram and search up Tris" in messy hand writing. I look up at the clock on the wall and see I have 3 minutes till class. I walk over to one of the computers in the back of the class room and Google Instagram page Tris.
I click search and immediately I see a link pop up. "Tris hate page". Wow second day of school I'm already getting bullied. I cautiously click the link and I see horrible comments lined up on the screen. It already has over 100 followers.
There is a picture of Four and I on the bench smiling from yesterday. Someone must've caught us. Below the picture is a caption saying, "Back off emo. He's mine!". Okay that's all I needed to see. I close out the window and walk back to my seat. The jock that threw the paper airplane is from the gang of friends yesterday that Christina tried to introduce me to. I never gave them a chance to introduce them selves so I have no idea who he is.
When he sees me returning to my seat he walks over to where I am sitting.
"What do you want?" I say through a sigh. Looking into his chocolate brown hair and joking demeanor.
"I wanted to see your thoughts on the hate page. It's really screwed up who ever did that."
"Well thanks for trying to be a friend but I don't need any right now. And you wanna know my thoughts on the hate page. It is screwed up and I am pissed off but I have a pretty strong feeling I deserved every one of those hate comments. Believe me those comments hurt. Damn those comments hurt but I can't do a damn thing about it. If I speak up I'm the bitch and if I don't then I'm a wimp. There's no way out of this. I can't get out of this hell I call life by skipping rocks and putting on a show for others. So don't be surprised if you come to find me dead at the bottom of a ditch one day. Whether that day is today, tomorrow or next week because I can promise this it just might happen soon." I say like I'm going to commit suicide tomorrow.
Which I actually have put a lot of thought in. I mean I have nothing to live for, no friends, no family, no love.
The boy not knowing how to react to my statement walks away seeming to be thinking very hard.
I'm a boring page break that everyone hates yeah so how ya been...
When the final bell signaling lunch rings I sigh in relief grab my notebooks and walk out the door. As I shove my things in my locker I can hear a bunch of hate thrown at me. I know I should just keep my head down and shut up but I really need to get out of here.
Tears are beginning to form in my eyes. I quickly grab my razor that I keep with me for times like these when I just need a relief and couple of small bandages and my sweater. I run to the restroom and make sure no one else is inside. Once I know it's clear I go into a stall and lock the door.
Now that I know I'm alone I let the tears run freely. I grab the razor and pull up my sleeve.
Stupid- 1 cut
Ugly- 1 cut
You let Four close to you- 2 cuts
You have no family- 4 cuts
Just as I am about to continue I stop myself. Someone will get suspicious if I continue and that will just result in more bullying.
I shakily step out of the stall quietly and clean my razor before sliding the cap over the blade and shoving it in my pocket. I clean my arms putting soap on the cuts to make it sting. I put the gauze over the cuts and tighten it securely. I wash my face ridding it of any tear stains.
Once I look decent I pull down my sleeves and throw on my sweater preventing anyone to see my scars. I pull on my hood and walk out of the bathroom. I've tried to stop so many times but it has become an addiction.
I see I still have a few minutes left till we have to go back to class so I go into the cafeteria and sit down at an empty table. I take out yet another apple and sit enjoying the silence until yet again it is taken from me.
"Hey Tris." I hear the familiar voice of Four.
"Leave." I say my eyes closed.
"Second rule of becoming friends you have to at least try."
"I told you that stupid deal was off it was all just some kind of spur of the moment."
"Then I'll just keep annoying you. You know it took these guys a month to get me to hang out with them. I think you might last longer. But we'll keep trying because eventually you'll have to give in."
"Just leave me alone please!" I say throwing my arms in the air in frustration, which was a big mistake. My sweater is fairly large so when I stretched my arms up my sleeves rolled down just enough to see 3 of my new cuts. Everyone from the gang sees this and pales their eyes not able to move from my scars.
The last thing that runs through my mind is. I'm so screwed.
AN: First off thank you BooksLover1603 I will try to slow down the pace between Four and Tris but they will eventually get together in the end. Then thank you to thereisnowayoutofthemaze for the VERY late happy birthday! Follow me on my new instagram olivia_nicole2002! :D