AN: I put this up yesterday, but I didn't get a notification for it. Which really bugged me and made me think that anywon else who had the story on alert probably didn't get it either. Or maybe I'm just suffering withdrawls from no reviews. Anyway I'm just trying again. Hope it works this time.
"Luke, can we talk, please?"
"Oh. Sure, yeah, let's go upstairs. Caesar, I'll be back!" Luke called out, before leading the way to the apartment. "So..?" He turned and looked at Lorelai as she shut the door.
"Why does everyone always expect me to start these awkward conversations?" she wondered, keeping her gaze focused on her feet.
"No, I didn't mean… I just, you said you wanted to talk, so I figured…"
"And you don't? You have nothing to say after what happened? It's all fine with you," she shot back a little accusingly. I'm sorry. I didn't mean that, I just-
"No."
"Oh," No? Really, nothing? Is he serious? "Well, alright. Whatever just forget it then." She turned to leave but he quickly called her back, tried to explain.
"I mean, no, it's not all fine with me. It's definitely not fine."
"It's not?"
"Of course not!" he said, his voice louder, harsher than he meant it to be. "We kissed Lorelai."
"You kissed me, actually. I was all set to just pretend it wasn't there."
"Well you kissed me back. Remember that?"
"Only for a second! I didn't mean-"
"You know what? I changed my mind; I don't think I really want to have this conversation." If you don' want to take this seriously, I'm no dealing with you, Luke though. He made a move towards the door, but Lorelai blocked his path.
"Tough, because we're having it,"
"You can't just come back into my life like this and start making demands as if nothing at all has changed! We're not seventeen anymore, I'm not going to drop everything for your every whim. Take a look around; a lot has changed."
"I know that! I'm not making demands; all I want is to talk to you. I want to talk to you Luke, is that really such a bad thing?"
"Go ahead then, talk." He told her, moving over to the couch and sitting down.
"Will you be listening?" she asked, following. "Or cataloging all of your flannel shirts in your head?"
"Talk," Luke repeated. "You want to talk, so talk."
"You said that… You said you missed me." He opened his mouth to say something, but she continued. "In October, you said that you'd missed me everyday. But you didn't give me a chance to respond, because you just walked away. Had I been given just a few more minutes, I would have said that I've missed you too. I've said it before, and I'll say it again; I'll never be able to make up for the time that I took from everyone, taking Rory and not making contact with any of you, it was stupid and unfair and if everyone hates me forever, I don't think it would be long enough." Lorelai ranted as she paced in front of the couch. She couldn't possibly fathom sitting still at the moment, there was too much to say, she needed to keep moving or she might not make it through everything.
"And I'm sure she's mentioned things about our life, about my past. But you need to know that no matter who was in my life, none of them ever meant as much as you. I always thought of you, measured them up against you. Chris didn't even-"
"I really don't want to talk about him, if that's alright." Luke interrupted, pulling his cap off and fiddling with it. Lorelai stared at it for a moment, it was the one she had given him; even after her avoidance he'd still chosen to wear it. That's encouraging, she thought.
"Ok, sure. Um, I always made a note of the date and thought of you, on birthdays, Christmas, anniversaries, days that no one else would have thought of because they were just something silly to do with us. Because even though I was the one who walked away from us, from everything, I wasn't ready to let go. I'm still not, I think, but if… If you want to forget about it, you want to go on pretending that there's nothing here, that's fine. I can find a way to make that work too."
"You know I can't just do that."
"You can't?"
"Can't, don't want to, whatever. I'm not going to just pretend that nothing happened, because that's stupid. And if we're ever going to get passed this then…"
"Passed it? To what?"
"I don't know, to being friends again? Just passed it, so that we aren't acting like teenagers,"
"We're not acting like teenagers. At least not our teenagers, have you seen them? They're way more adjusted than the two of us."
"Those two are not normal. I'm pretty sure that if they were, the whole 'I like him, but I can't tell him,' 'she doesn't like me, cause I'm not cool enough' thing would have gone on longer than it did. Or maybe not, I really don't know. But my point is they are not normal. And we weren't either, when we were their age."
"No, I guess you're right. So, I'm sorry, how exactly are we going to get back to being friends? Because I thought that's what we were trying for before all this, but…"
"We'll just work it out. First order of business, no more standing under mistletoe,"
"That's a good idea. Ok, so, we'll work it out. Baby steps, coffee?"
"I serve it you drink it, sounds good."
"No, really, I'm asking you for coffee. Do you have any idea how much I need a cup of coffee right now?"
"You have the exact same coffee in your apartment."
"Well, that's what you think. And for the first few days, I believed it too, but now I'm not so sure."
"What are you talking about?" Luke asked, confused, ushering her towards the door.
"It's different now. I think, being outside of the diner for an extended period of time has changed it into some new version of the bean. It's not quite right."
"I don't have time for this, I've got a diner to run." He told her, walking through the curtain and then on to the kitchen.
"Ok, well, I'll just be out here, waiting for my coffee!" Lorelai called out, grinning, as she took a seat at the counter.
"Well, it's good to know that I'm not leaving while you're in need of someone to talk to, but stubbornly refuse to do so." Mia commented a few days later, pulling Lorelai into a tight hug.
"I told you there was nothing wrong, why didn't you believe me?"
"Because I'm not in the habit of believing lies,"
"I can't win with any of you, can I?"
"You can, if you play by our rules."
"Yeah, but you've kept the rule book hidden so well, I'll never work out what they are,"
"Then I guess you're right. You'll never win."
"We're here! We made it! Oh, I'm glad we didn't miss you," Jess exclaimed breathlessly as he and Rory raced up the porch steps of the inn.
"You didn't have to run all the way over here," Mia told them, smiling fondly at the two teens fighting to catch their breath. "I was about to come by the diner."
"We didn't know that." Rory replied.
"I called Luke and told him this morning."
"You did?"
"But he told us we should come here so we could be sure to catch you."
"Hmm, looks to me like somebody isn't as popular as she thought," Lorelai joked, but Rory didn't react. She hadn't been told what was going on between the two adults and it was pissing her off.
He did this on purpose; he wanted me to talk to her. Fat chance of that!
"Well, now that you're here, how would you like to accompany me to the diner for one last coffee before I return to the hellish sunshine?"
"Sounds good to me," Rory nodded and taking hold of Jess's hand again, began walking off the porch.
"Lorelai did you want-" Jess stopped mid-sentence when he caught the look Rory was shooting his way.
"I've actually got to be getting back to work. Don't want the boss to think I'm slacking off." She added, grinning at Mia. "But thanks anyway, you guys have fun."
"It was so good to see you," Mia told Lorelai as they hugged one last time.
"Same here. Try and visit more, ok? Everyone would love it; you heard them at Christmas,"
"Oh I know. I'll do my best." She stroked Lorelai's hair out of her face, just looking at her for a moment. "I can't tell you how happy I am that you're here."
"I think I can guess,"
"Alright, let's go! I need one last fix; that stuff is so much more addictive than other coffee. Have you noticed that? I think I'll have to find…" Lorelai waved as the three of them walked away, heading for Mia's car. Then she turned and headed back inside.
"Do they have rehab programs for caffeine addicts?" Rory asked, looking a little worried.
"I don't know, but I'll look into it."
"If you find anything, don't tell Luke. He'll send us all away for sure."
"Not all of us," Jess objected. "He'll keep a couple around, just to keep himself in business I think."
"That sounds about right,"
"So, did you have a good time at your mom's new year's party?"
"I did," Jess replied. "I especially enjoyed watching Gypsy downing Patty's Founder's Day punch."
"That was good." Mia agreed, "And what about you, Rory?"
"It was a nice party. A little tamer than some of the parties we've had back home, but then, at the same time, possibly crazier."
"You'll get used to that. Did you make any resolutions?"
"Some."
"And how many have been broken so far?"
"Mia, we're two days into the year, what makes you think we've already broken our new year's resolutions?" Jess asked, leaning forward, between the two front seats.
"Well, there's a first time for everything. I just wanted to check that you were still the same boy I left here last time."
"I'm yet to be abducted by aliens, if that's what you mean."
"Hmm, well. That's good to hear." They reached the diner and climbed out of the car, headed for the door. Once they'd found a table, Luke came out of the back and moved towards them.
"So you found her ok?"
"They found me," Mia nodded, looking him over suspiciously. She knew something was going on, but no one was saying anything. It was extremely frustrating.
"Good, so what can I get you guys?" they all ordered and Luke moved off to get their food and drinks ready. Once they were done, Mia checked her watch and jumped out of her chair.
"I better be going if I want to make that plane,"
"But you don't want to, remember?" Jess pointed out. "Santa Barbara bad, Stars Hollow good; evil sunshine, nice pretty snow,"
"No, I know. It really is terrible… But I have to go."
"I tried; make sure mom knows that, ok?" Jess requested looking at Rory, she nodded.
"Tell your mother I was sorry I missed her."
"Yeah, she wanted to come say goodbye, but she and TJ had to go to Nutley to help his brother with something. They left really early this morning."
"Nothing serious, I hope?"
"No. Well, I don't think so. I'm sure it's fine."
"Well, I'll have to remember to call in a few days to check up on things. Are you staying at the house by yourself?"
"Yep, two days of solitude. Not counting Babette's unannounced visits, of course."
"Of course,"
"He actually tried getting me kicked out of my room, again." Rory added. "But I told him, no. Not after the honeymoon. I lost my space for an entire week and I wasn't going to risk it again. Plus, if it was the other way around and I had a whole house to myself, there's no way I'd be trying to trade for something worse."
"You've never had Babette as a neighbor." Jess informed her. "I know she means well, but sometimes it's nice to just have a little privacy."
"Hmm, I guess I can see that."
"Stop trying to distract me!" Mia ordered, standing up. "I really have to go now."
"You're heading out?" Luke asked, coming over and standing beside her.
"Yes. Despite the best efforts of these two, I am in fact leaving."
"Well, let me be the eighty-seventh person to tell you it was really great to have you here."
"I'll allow it, but only because I love hearing how much you all love and miss me."
"Yeah, well. Have a safe flight, and the next time I'm out on the west coast…"
"I'll have the best table in the best restaurant reserved for you."
"Good to know. Bye Mia."
"Goodbye Luke. Look after yourself."
"I'll do my best."
"Ok, you two want to walk me back out to the car, or stay here and play footsies under the table, and think we don't know about it?" Mia asked and the two teens looked up at her. "Mothers know these things," she told them.
"We'll come with you." Rory replied, standing up.
"Jess, I know I don't have to tell you to be good," Mia said as she hugged him, "but…"
"I will. Don't worry, I'm always good. Especially when you look at me next to my friend Tristan,"
"Oh, you don't want to do that," Rory shook her head.
"He's bad news? This Tristan?"
"No. Rory's just bitter because he was the one who told her grandparents she was here. He's a good guy though."
"Yeah, I should eventually let up on him, I guess." Rory agreed.
"Well, that's nice to hear. And Rory," Mia held her arms out, waiting for Rory to walk into them. "I'm so glad I got to meet you again. It's hard to believe that you were that little girl, chasing-"
"Not again. He doesn't need to hear how much I adored him as a toddler, please."
"Alright, I won't say it again. I'll just go, leave you two to enjoy the rest of your day."
Mia got back into her car and the two teens stood waving on the sidewalk.
"So…" Jess began once she was out of sight. "I was thinking, we could go home, watch a movie or two, and hang out."
"Actually, I sort of already have the rest of my afternoon planned." Rory replied.
"Are you going to talk to your mom?"
"God no, I'd rather spend time with you over her any day. What I was thinking actually involves you or, rather, your brain…"
"You want to go and read more, don't you?"
"I'm almost done. It should only take an hour or so, and then I'll come right over, ok? I'll even bring food."
"I never should have given that to you. You keep looking at me weird. Note to self; don't share personal things with the girlfriend,"
"Too late for that. And I'm not looking at you weird, just… I'm trying to work out how you see the things you do when you look at me."
Jess shrugged. "Just do, I can't explain it."
"Well, in any case, I want to finish before I see you again. So shoo! I'll come by as soon as I'm done, alright?"
"I don't suppose I can stop you now, can I?"
"Not a chance in hell. Oh, and you should be aware that I'm waiting with bated breathe for the next bit."
"I'm an idiot."
"You are not an idiot. This is the best belated-Christmas gift I have ever gotten, which pretty much makes you a genius."
"Really?" Jess asked, wrapping his arms around her waist.
"Yes," Rory nodded and leaned in to kiss him. "Now go. I'll inflate your ego further later on."
"Promise?" he asked, dropping his arms and taking a step back.
"Get lost!" she waved her hand at him and laughed as he walked away. Rory turned to go back inside and upon entering her room, picked up the notebook she'd been studying for the past week. Every page was covered in notes she had made, at first she'd been writing along side his words, but after a day of that, she'd gone out and bought a pack of brightly colured post-its and had used those ever since.
Getting comfortable on her bed, Rory reached out for the small remaining stack of sticky notes and a pen and continued to read.
AN: I wanted there to be more to that first conversation, but I just couldn't think of anything else for either of them to say or think. I hope it worked out. I hope this one worked.