He was lying alone in a field of gently rolling hills and white flowers. The sun was a blinding white above and the sky was gray. In fact, there was no color. Everything—things he knew should be full of color were simple grays, whites and blacks. Nick felt cold; strangely, oddly and uncomfortably cold. He shivered as he laid staring up at the dreadful sky.

He tried to take in everything around him, tried to convince himself that everything was okay. Everything's wonderful! Everything is beautiful! There's nothing wrong!

But he knew differently. This world… it was cold. Dark. Miserable. He was alone. God, he was alone. And there was an emptiness in his chest that was overwhelming… so overwhelming that he wanted to cry.

Just give into this misery, let it consume you, destroy you, devour you.

"Hey?"

Nick started, looking to his left. Ellis was lying beside him—when had he gotten there? The mechanic was squinting up at the sky and he was smiling.

"Sure is nice, ain't it?"

"…" Nick didn't reply. He didn't know what to say. Maybe Ellis couldn't see what he saw? Maybe he didn't see all this awful darkness? Maybe he just couldn't see it… but how? How can you not see this, Ellis?

With startling realization, Nick noticed Ellis was the only thing full of color. Even he himself was colorless. Nick raised his gray hands into the air above him and stared, horrified. He was almost transparent with the dead sky. Oh, God… oh, God…

Ellis looked at him but then he frowned and propped himself up on one arm. Nick sat up too.

"Nick, man… Yer heart… where'd it go?"

Nick reached up with a panic to touch at his chest and when he looked down he found that a perfect child-like rendition of a simple heart was forming a hole in his chest. He blinked at it, pawing at the oddness. He struggled to find words.

Ellis got to his feet. "Don' worry, man. We'll find it. I'll help ya." Nick found himself taking the mans hands and the other pulled him to his feet. Ellis didn't let go. The southerner tugged him along as he marched through the grass and flowers with a blissful grin. "It can't be too far though, man, so don' worry. It's out here. We'll find it."

You would think that, wouldn't you? Nick mused quietly. But he was not mad that Ellis was so naïve, just grateful.

Please, lovely light, keep me alive. Keep holding on tight and I'll follow.

Together they searched and searched through the endless black and white field and the longer they looked, the more desperate Nick found himself becoming. He clutched Ellis' hand in his, afraid that the kid would suddenly abandon him. But Ellis never did. He held his hand faithfully, never once trying to let go. For the life of him, Nick didn't know why, but he never voiced his confusion. He didn't dare to.

Please, please just keep shining. Please don't let go. Please hold on tight, please don't let me disappear. I need you, I need you. I want you, God I want you here with me.

Suddenly Ellis stopped and when he turned around he held a perfectly shaped heart in his free hand. He beamed up at the conman and lifted it high for the other to see too. Nick gaped at it.

"Well, damn! Here it is, Nick. Looks like ya just misplaced it. But don' worry, I gatcha covered."

The southerner moved forward and pressed the heart to Nick's chest. When he did Nick felt an intense surge of warmth and happiness fill him. Color exploded everywhere and Nick could see that the flowers weren't white, but red, blue, purple, orange—every beautiful color he could have possibly imagined. The grass was green and the sky was blue, the sun was bright and yellow. A breeze seemed to pick up and it was gentle and warm. Ellis stood grinning proudly before him.

"Thank you, Ellis. Thank you," Nick whispered. He reached up and took that smiling face between his palms. "God, I love you. I love you, I love you."

"I know, Nick," Ellis said quietly, moving closer, "I'd do anythin' fer you, 'cause I lov—"

Agh… Awake? Shit. Nick closed his eyes tightly, trying desperately to return to the dream that had made him feel so wonderfully warm and fuzzy inside.

After lying there for several minutes trying to will himself to sleep he realized that the object of his euphoria was pressed into his arms. Nick flushed crimson.

At some point in the night their innocent closeness had turned into some intense spooning. Ellis' body was pressed firmly into Nick's front and the conman was very aware of every curve of the man's body. Nick had—at one point or another, pulled Ellis obsessively against him. It was a wonder how the poor kid could even breathe. But if Ellis was uncomfortable, it wasn't obvious. He was sound asleep.

Now—wait… wait one second. Nick shook his head slightly, suddenly remembering exactly what it was he had dreamt. What the hell was that? Some… some sort of… of… unconscious longing? Whoa, whoa, hold on… one second… That's impossible. Absolutely impossible. Why would he—how could he—from Ellis? What? Really?

Nick almost shook the southerner awake just to clarify the thoughts jumbling in his mind, but instead he did what he had always done for as long as he could remember—he retreated.

God help him, he untangled himself from the others body and somehow managed to not awaken him in the process. He half hoped that he would have. He half hoped that Ellis would question where in the hell he was going, but the man stayed fast asleep. Damn.

As he quietly pulled on his clothes and shoes he glanced at the clock. He was surprised—9:23 am. At least it wasn't 4 am. His gaze returned to the sleeping mechanic. Ellis was sprawled on his back now and his foot had caught the blankets, pulling most of them down far past his thighs. His nightshirt was caught under his hand and most of his stomach was exposed enticingly, teasingly.

Nick watched the man sleep for several antagonizing minutes. God, how he wanted to crush those lips against his, smother him with kisses and touch him. Just kiss him and love him, hold him tight and—Nick shook himself back to reality.

Nick moved back to Ellis' side and very gently tugged the blankets back up to his chest. Then, feeling terrible for it (but not able to stop himself) he leaned down and placed a soft kiss on the corner of the sleeping man's lips. Ellis stirred slightly, rolling onto his side towards Nick and pawed at the empty space beside him. He pulled the blankets into his arms and clung to them, face nuzzling into them. Nick smiled.

Adorable little bastard.

Again he turned to leave, but paused. He moved to the nightstand, picked up a pen and scribbled in his fancy, but messy handwriting;

Ellis,

Out wandering. If you want me, come find me.

Nick

It was fifteen minutes later that the conman found himself wandering aimlessly on the ships deck. His first instinct had been to return to the ballroom—but after standing in the doorway staring at the piano—he had felt almost like it was mocking him. That's right, Nicholas, you'll always come back to me because you can't explain those feelings you have with words. That's right, you always do.

Well, fuck you, that's not true.

So, instead of giving in he had worked his way outside.

The sun had long ago risen high above and the sky was cloudy. It seemed likely a storm was on its way. For a fleeting moment Nick found himself feeling, hearing, tasting those storms back in Mississippi. God, how the rain had just kept coming and coming

and coming. Jesus fucking Christ. Would it ever end? The man scowled up at Heavens. He let out a string of curses all aimed at a God he believed was either one cruel mother fucker or a non-existent fear inducing fairy-tale meant to scare little kids and weak-minded adults into playing nicely. Either way, he got his swear on.

"Whoa, man. Whas the matter?" Ellis asked.

"The rain. That's what. Oh, and the zombies. Don't let me forget about them."

Ellis shrugged good-naturedly. "It ain't so bad. It's jus' a little rain."

"Just a little," Nick reeled back,"—just a little rain? Are you fucking kidding me? I've seen less water in the fucking Atlantic."

"Now, tha', Nick, ain't true," Ellis replied instantly.

"Oh yeah? Sure 'bout that, Overalls?" Nick asked sarcastically. They ducked under a tree as a heavy wind suddenly blinded them. Ellis moved closer to him and their shoulders touched. Nick glared at the other, annoyed that he was invading his personal space. Ellis, however, seemed not to notice. He was trying to keep a watchful eye out for Infected, but it was impossible in the rain. Even so, the hick kept squinting out into it. His intensity made Nick laugh. "I thought you were use to all this shit, Ellis?"

"Well, sure. Georgia—well, Mississippi wherever-we-are ain't always rainy an' shit. But ya know, it ain't so bad. My Ma always told me tha' it's the rain tha' makes everythin' beautiful in the mornin', an' so ya gatta jus' respect it an' ya know, accept it, 'cause it ain't goin' no where and it's really gonna end up makin' ya smile at the end of the day 'cause everyon', an' I do mean everyon' Nick, needs the rain—" As he talked, no ranted, the kid was soaking wet through and through. His hair was plastered to the sides of his face and his clothing was suctioning to his skin, but shit, he was grinning from ear to ear as he went on and on. "'Cause without it, ya ain't gonna get yer nice flowers an' yer garden's an'—"

"Ellis, seriously," Nick was laughing. "Shut up. It's fucking raining on me. I could careless about fucking petunias and marigolds. I'm wet and I'm pissed. Let me have this, Jesus Christ."

Ellis chuckled embarrassingly, "All right, Nick. But yer gunna regret bein' mad when ya see everythin' lookin' pretty tamorrow."

Nick rolled his eyes. He had such—

amazing optimism. It had been Ellis every time to pull some bullshit out of the air and make everything terrible around them seem like it really wasn't so bad.

At first, admittedly, it had pissed Nick off to no end—but it was now, standing here on the ships deck breathing in the salty sea breeze that Nick realized without that god damn relentless optimism he'd be dead—or worse, locked up. Christ. He owed Ellis his life. He owed Ellis everything.

Damn it. Thinking about that kid again.

Nick glanced about. Nearby there was an older man with graying hair and a dark scowl—and better yet, he was smoking. The man was staring bitterly at the coming clouds.

Time to work the magic.

The conman made his way over to the fellow smoker and sported his most charming smile. "Mind if I bum a cigarette off you, sir?" Be up front about what you want, this guy doesn't look like he's much of a talker.

The older man looked at him with that same menacing scowl he had been directing at the clouds, but Nick's smile did not falter. The old man let out a puff of smoke in Nick's face, but still, his smile held... even if he was rather irritated.

"You're that piano guy, aren't you?" The old man finally said, eyeing the other up and down. Nick's smile fell slightly, but he nodded once. The old man reached into his pocket and pulled out his cigarettes. Then he shoved it sharply into the younger man's chest. Nick fumbled with it.

Before Nick could ever stutter out a 'thank you' the old man had flicked his cigarette onto the deck and walked off without another word.

Well… whatever. Nick shrugged and flicked open the pack. There were only four left, but that'd have to do. He pulled a cigarette out and placed it into his mouth. Eventually, he settled on laying himself on the deck—somewhere not really in the way, but not exactly a designated relaxing area. Oh well.

Nick stretched one leg out and laid on his back, one hand coming under his head as a make-shift pillow. His other hand worked the cigarette to and from his mouth every few minutes. All the while, all he could do was stare up into the clouds and no matter how hard he tried, his thoughts always came back to Ellis.

Curious, how that little mechanic was starting to consume his every thought.

It wasn't much longer—because he hadn't even finished his second cigarette—that Nick became aware that Ellis was standing over him. Nick tilted his head back, staring up at the southerner. Ellis was out of breath, flushed and still in his pajamas.

Nick began to laugh, "God damn it, Ellis. I left you a note."

"Wha'?" Ellis' face scrunched up and then he itched the back of his head sheepishly. "…Oh… I di'n't… uh.. I di'n't see it…"

"This seems most obvious." Nick chuckled again, but it quickly caught in his throat as Ellis sat himself behind him and then shifted forward so that his head now laid in his lap. Nick felt a flush overtaking him and try as hard as he could, he simply couldn't make it go away. "I…uh… so… sleep well?"

"Yeah. 'Til I woke up 'cause I was cold." There was a hint, only a hint, of annoyance in the southerner's voice, but Nick caught it. He puffed at his cigarette worriedly in response, but said nothing. Ellis' gaze dropped to the conman and then slowly his hands rose and his fingers dug into his dark hair. Nick blinked at the touch, tilting his head back again to catch the others gaze. "Still havin' bad dreams?" Ellis asked quietly, sympathetically.

Nick's mouth dropped opened slightly before he caught himself. "Ah… no, actually… I had… I had a good dream."

"Really? Thas cool. I haven't been dreamin' much lately, which I guess is okay, but kinda borin' too, ya know? I like dreams. They're always so cool an'…. dream-like…" Nick chuckled and Ellis cleared his throat and quickly tried to cover up his lameness, "So—uh, ya had a good dream? Wha'd ya dream 'bout?"

"You."

"Me?"

"Yep." Smoke curled into the air as Nick let out another lungful.

"…Ya gonna elaborate?"

"Nope."

"Why not?"

Why not indeed? Nick twisted the cigarette in his fingers, brooding. But then Ellis leaned over him and jerked him out of his thoughts.

"Was it an embarassin' dream?" Nick flushed and looked away, smoking more insistently. "…Was I naked?" Ellis whispered. Nick choked on his cigarette smoke. "I'm kiddin', I'm kiddin'… Or, wait… Was I? Why are ya lookin' like tha'? Nick? Nick!"

Flustered, the older man sat up, running his fingers through his hair several times, trying to hide his embarrassment. "Ellis, you were not naked, okay? What the hell." He huffed. "Who the hell even suggests that? Jesus."

"Aw, then wha' were ya doin' dreamin' 'bout me?" Ellis leaned over the others shoulder, his chin dropping down onto it. "Come on, Nick. I'm curious. Tell me!"

Nick felt a shudder run through him as he felt the others body pressing closer and closer. Ellis continued to whine playfully and his arms came around him. He draped himself over the older man, pawing at him persistently, all the while just begging to know exactly why he had been in the other's dream. Nick found himself smirking.

"Ellis, I swear… if you don't stop I'm going to kiss you." Ah—wait, oh shit. Did he just say that out loud? There was no turning back now. Nick looked slyly to the mechanic. Ellis' face was one of surprise. Ha!

"Do it then. I dare ya." Wha—wait, what? Now it was Nick's turn to look startled.

Nick studied the other for a brief moment, trying to decide if he was being serious. It didn't take long before Nick decided he was.

The conman turned his face towards the other and very briefly placed his lips against Ellis'. But Ellis wasn't having any of that innocent kissing stuff. His hands came up instantly to take fistfuls of his hair and Nick found himself twisting around just so he could compromise to the man's enthusiastic advances.

And, holy shit, was the kid ever passionate. As their mouths worked together, Nick found himself almost laughing with relief.

Oh, thank God.

A/N: I think I was high when I was writing this. I'm not even kidding. And it was a bad kind of high. Like, I couldn't think and so I'm most positive what I wrote is absolutely just… (for lack of a better word) retarded to read. I knew of 2 scenes I wanted to write but had no idea how to fill up the space in between them… and… uh… yeah… apparently that's what comes out of my non-thinking brain. Consequently, I really don't like this chapter. I apologize for it's… lameness.

My brain feels empty. –sadface-