"Are you sure you don't want to come to Denerim?" Elissa was sitting on one of the chairs in what was formerly her room, now Delilah's, watching Delilah take care of her baby. "We're not leaving until morning, so you have time to get ready."
"I'm sure." Delilah smiled gently at Elissa as she finished feeding her child and perched him on her shoulder to burp him. "The very last thing I want to do right now is spend a lot of time making small talk with nobles who will sneer at me because of Father, while wearing uncomfortable dresses and pretending that I remember their names. The entire time I would just worry about whether Samuel is all right or if he needs a feeding and is sleeping well."
Elissa chuckled. "Well, when you put it that way, maybe I should stay here with you." She smiled as Delilah laughed at her. "Seriously, I do worry that you'll be lonely. We'll be gone for quite a while, and there aren't all that many other women here. Are you sure you'll be all right here?" She looked closely at Delilah and noted her eyes, which looked tired. "You haven't been alone since … since you came here," she finished quietly. "I'm worried that it will be hard on you."
Delilah looked at her with understanding in her eyes. "I'll be all right," she said softly. "I do miss Albert terribly, it's true. But it's getting close to two months gone by since then." Elissa thought she looked sad, but not unbearably so. "Besides, I have Samuel to keep me company." The baby burped and Delilah gave his back one last pat before tucking him into her arms. The baby squirmed and fussed. "He's been cranky today," Delilah noted. "He didn't want to sleep last night either."
"I can watch him for you for a while," Elissa offered. "That way you can get a nap before we leave. I'll ask Kylon to watch out for you, of course, while we're gone, but getting him to babysit might not work out so well." Elissa smiled at Delilah.
Delilah thought for a moment, then handed the baby over to Elissa. "The fact that Samuel is a baby has nothing to do with it, I'm sure." Delilah looked at her knowingly, then got out a small blanket and handed that to Elissa as well. "I could certainly stand to get some sleep. Thank you. He didn't eat much, so if he's hungry, just bring him to me and I can take care of it."
"We'll be fine, won't we?" Elissa held little Samuel with one arm while putting her finger where his tiny fist could grab it. The baby complied and studied her hand solemnly, turning it over so he could see its entirety. "He can help me with my paperwork." At this, Delilah shook her head and snorted. Elissa absconded with the child, closing the bedroom door behind her and carrying him out of the living quarters as she talked to him about being a Warden and how he was getting to be a big boy and that there were lots of pretty shiny things in her study and Kylon could handle the paperwork anyway, couldn't he? Samuel, for his part, grumbled and inspected her rings with little grabby hands that tried to remove her jewelry and attempted to force tiny fingers into her mouth to touch her teeth as she spoke. They were having a lovely time.
Elissa reached the study and sat down with Samuel, cuddling him up against her. He fussed quite a bit, but eventually settled down and rested his head on Elissa's shoulder, sucking his thumb as he went to sleep. She sat, watching the baby while she patted his back and stroked his hair and completely ignored everything she was supposed to be doing.
"I'm surprised you managed to get him away from Delilah for more than five minutes." Nathaniel's voice, pitched low to avoid waking the baby, caught Elissa's attention. He came into the room, perching on the edge of her desk and watching the baby for a minute before looking at Elissa's face. He surprised her as his expression turned wistful and he reached out a hand to stroke her cheek. "The look on your face when you're holding Samuel … I wish I could give you your own."
Touched, Elissa closed her eyes and pressed her lips to the palm of Nathaniel's hand before responding. "I do too, but it was not meant to be, I guess." She thought carefully before continuing. "Do you want children? You know I can't have children at all," she had to stop speaking for a moment and compose herself, "so if it's important to you, I … I'm willing to … make adjustments." She held her breath as she awaited his response.
Nathaniel's expression grew horrified, then determined. He shook his head firmly. "No. I would never do that to you." His face softened and the corners of his mouth turned up slightly. "Besides, it's far too much fun to get to play with the baby then hand him over once he becomes difficult." Elissa laughed softly at the observation and relaxed.
"I had to ask. I didn't want you to go without something for my sake that was important to you."
"Having my own children was never important to me." Nathaniel smiled at Elissa. "Since Delilah has ensured that the family line will continue, I have no personal need to do the same." He lowered his voice. "If it had been possible to have children with you, it would have been a different matter entirely."
Elissa didn't know what to say; she felt like her heart might burst out of her chest at any moment. She had to settle, instead, for smiling like a fool at Nathaniel. He seemed to understand; his smile grew and his eyes softened before he changed the subject.
"Eric received a crate from the Chantry today," he said conversationally. "You should have seen the quantity of lyrium they sent." He frowned. "Elissa, the amount they sent … you said that the Grand Cleric said they would send a month's worth at a time?"
Elissa nodded and cleared her throat gently to ensure she would be able to speak. "Yes, why? Did they not send enough?"
"No, that's just the thing." Nathaniel's frown grew further. "If that amount wasn't enough, I'm surprised lyrium usage hasn't killed Eric."
"What do you mean? How much did they send?"
"They sent enough lyrium to make about two hundred strong lyrium potions." Elissa gasped as Nathaniel stood and started pacing. "Elissa, the Chantry – Eric took his vows what? A decade, maybe a dozen years ago? They're poisoning their men. The quantity of lyirum to make that many potions every month is enough to drive a person mad. I'm glad, for Eric's sake, that he has resisted the addiction as well as he has and is trying to wean off of it."
"Maker's breath! No wonder Alistair was so glad he avoided having to start taking it!" Elissa exclaimed. "That's insane." She did the calculations in her head. "For Eric, isn't that much lyrium about four years' worth?"
Nathaniel nodded. "Yes. Another few months of deliveries and Eric will have enough lyrium to keep him going until he reaches his Calling."
Elissa shuddered. "That's horrible. It explains a lot about some of the templars we've seen, though." Nathaniel nodded and they both fell silent. Elissa went back to watching the baby sleep as she thought about everything Nathaniel had said. Nathaniel continued pacing.
-0-0-0-
"How long will it take to get to Denerim, Elissa? I've never been there before!" Erna sounded excited.
"It will be a few days."
"It'd sodding take a lot less time if we didn't have to carry all these sodding clothes with us. Why can't we just wear our armor?"
"Because, Oghren," the tone was exasperated as if this question had been repeatedly asked, "we have several functions to attend and we have to dress appropriately."
"Besides, dwarf, you'll need something to change into after you vomit all over yourself."
"Yeah, whatever, pretty boy. I notice you brought every single set of robes you own. You might as well have packed the wardrobe too!"
"Well, you know how it is, Oghren. I want to be ready to take all the ladies dancing every night."
"Dancing? Dancing is for chumps, not warriors!"
"Actually, dancing is excellent for improving your footwork." Nathaniel was not about to let that one slide. "Without good footwork, dodging attacks and getting in dagger hits is very difficult. Dancing teaches you to be light on your feet."
"Besides, think about it. You're dancing with all those women, and at your height, you get to look right at-"
"Anders! There are ladies present!"
"Eh, Elissa doesn't mind." Anders responded to Eric with a wave of his hand. "She's used to it."
Eric sighed. "There are other ladies present as well." He looked pointedly at Erlina and Erna. Erna snickered and Erlina shook her head resignedly.
"Hey, Elissa! Did you hear that? Eric called me a lady." Erna started laughing heartily. "He's funny."
Eric just sighed.
-0-0-0-
"Did we all have to come?"
"Oghren, I thought you wanted to come! You said you wanted to see Teagan!"
"That's because I'm gonna win that bet this time! I almost won that son of a whore's bet at the coronation. This time, I won't drink so much before I start. I'm guaranteed to win!"
"You're going to try to drink a barrel of pickle juice … again?"
"I was down to the dregs. If I hadn't had those fifteen ales before, I'd have been three sovereigns richer."
Anders actually gagged a little while Erlina and Eric turned pale. Nathaniel just blinked. "Oghren … that's disgusting! I am not healing you when you get a stomachache."
"I didn't get sick last time!" A loud guffaw, followed by a belch, sounded.
"I bet you smelled like garlic for a week afterward. That's foul, Oghren, even for you." Nathaniel looked disgusted. Ragnar, on the other hand, looked impressed.
-0-0-0-
"Heh heh heh. Hey, Erna? How's about you and I sneak off behind some bushes and-"
"No thank you, Oghren." The tone was overly sweet. "I don't feel like having a drink today." Erna snickered at Oghren's crestfallen expression.
"Leave her alone, old man!" Ragnar's voice sounded threatening, as it usually did when anyone tried to proposition his sister.
"Why do you call Oghren 'old man' all the time?" Elissa was curious.
"Because I'm twice his sodding age, that's why."
"What? Really?" Elissa actually stopped walking and looked at the two male dwarves. "How old are you, Ragnar?"
"I'll be eighteen next month." He sounded defensive. Elissa stood there with her mouth hanging open. He's so young! Maker's breath!
"I never would have guessed that. I thought you were twenty or so." Elissa shook her head and resumed walking.
Ragnar stood a little straighter and smiled briefly.
-0-0-0-
"What can we do in Denerim? Ooh, I want to see what a surface tavern looks like! Do they carry dwarven ale on the surface? I miss dwarven ale, even though I hardly ever got to have any in Orzammar. Do you think I'll get a lot of orders for new gowns and men's clothing? Are there good cloth merchants in the city? What's the inside of a Chantry look like? I've never seen one! You were a templar, right Eric? What's it like? Those suits of armor must be heavy with those long skirts attached. Why do they use those skirts, anyway? Do they get cold or something? I wonder if I could get any business making those skirts for the templars. Are they just sewn, or do you stitch in the designs too? Oh, I hope I brought enough materials. What else can you buy there …?"
Nobody could get a word in edgewise to answer her.
-0-0-0-
A sigh. "I'm worried about Delilah."
"She said she'd be fine. Besides, she was right that she'd just end up spending most of her time taking care of Samuel, and the rest worrying about him. Kylon will keep an eye out for her, and Zev's men are still there."
"I know that. But still ..." Nathaniel frowned a little. "We're going to be too far away to help if something happens."
"She might be worse off in Teagan's estate. We don't know it well enough to protect her adequately there, and we can't exactly bring our own guardsmen."
"I suppose." Nathaniel sighed again and fell silent. Elissa put a hand on his arm to comfort him.
-0-0-0-
"So, you're not a templar any more, are ya?"
"I suppose I'm not. Why do you ask?"
"Does that mean you can finally get to grease the bronto? Roll your oats? Tap the midnight still? Form the beast with two backs?"
"Hey, that last one is new for you." Elissa raised an eyebrow.
"I heard it from some surfacer. Liked it, so I remembered it. Anyway, you need to experience life." He snickered.
"Well … I'll keep that in mind, if I ever find the right woman."
"What about Erlina?"
"WHAT?" Erlina's speech devolved into a string of angry Orlesian as Eric's eyes grew wide.
"Oghren, are you insinuating that Erlina …?"
"She's a bard, ain't she? And bards are supposed to be into that seduction stuff. Me, I think she's too skinny, but ..." He shrugged.
"That's only one small part of being a bard, Oghren!" Erlina hissed. "Just because some bards spend all their time on their backs doesn't mean we all do!" She stomped ahead and Eric moved over to the other side of the road. Anders' face slowly formed a wide grin before he broke into a run.
"Hey, Erlina! Wait up!"
-0-0-0-
Teagan met them at the gates to the estate. "Welcome, my friends! Please, come in. You must be tired after your journey." He smiled at Elissa before taking her hand and kissing it. "It is good to see you again, Elissa. You're looking well."
"As you are, Teagan. Thank you for letting us stay with you." Elissa smiled back.
Teagan waved away the thanks. "It is nothing. This estate would be empty without people to fill it, and I'd rather you and your people were here than someone else. I hope your trip was uneventful?"
Elissa smiled. "More or less."