Duty and Deceit
Chapter 15
Visions of the Past
Okay. I discovered between the last chapter and this one, that my computer randomly decided that it would be a great idea to just delete a whole scene in the middle of chapter fourteen, so I ask that you all bear with me and if you read chapter fourteen previously please read it again to get that rather important scene.
Also, if you haven't read Ages Come and Ages Go, parts of this chapter will make no sense whatsoever without the background it provides. The same goes for the part of chapter fourteen as explained above. I really hate my computer sometimes.
The eight monitors in front of her all showed the exact same image that they had for the past joor and a half. It was now 0337 in the morning and her optics were beginning to dim. In just eight more klicks, the person with morning shift would come relieve her and she'd be free to go back to her quarters until she needed to get ready for her next mission.
She hadn't been able to stop thinking about the events of her lunch break the whole time she'd been sitting there, staring at the empty halls. The tower was still, no movement all night. The femme heaved a huge vent and settled back into her seat. Just two minutes left now.
An orange and green femme waltzed in with a bright purple cube of some odd variety of Energon. She tried not to cringe at the hideously garish paint job. With a curt nod to the femme, she left the monitor room with a sigh of relief. She was definitely glad she didn't have to work there all the time.
The navy and black spy went into her quarters and flopped herself down with a sigh. Her golden bio-lights shone through the cracks in her armor on her upper legs, chest and neck. She frowned and checked the duty roster.
Good.
0710.
The small femme stood awkwardly in front of the door, still trying to decide if she was actually going to follow through with her plan or if she was just going to give up and go to work early. Finally she raised one hand to the door and knocked quietly.
Nothing.
She stared at the door for a while, mentally warring over whether or not she ought to try again. She wasn't going to ring the doorbell; she knew very well that the mech hated doorbells. She knocked again, louder this time.
Skyquake opened the door and looked down at her. "Morning."
She nodded, but didn't say anything. For several klicks she stood there awkwardly until Skyquake finally spoke up.
"So." She glanced up to see him grinning down at her with a slightly bemused expression. "Is there any particular reason for you coming to my quarters and waking me up at seven in the morning? Or were you just going to stand in my doorway for the fun of it?"
Her nervousness melted away and she smiled."Nope, it was all just to inconvenience you, 'cause I'm mean like that."
"I see..." Skyquake said slowly. He blinked as the rest of his systems booted up. "Okay, no I don't. So what's up?"
"Um..." Maybe this wasn't such a great plan. "I've got a mission at 1100 and I'm not sure how long it'll be... So... I thought it'd be nice to have our normal training time earlier today? And maybe get a little something to eat when we're done?"
His optics lit up and he smiled, resting one heavy hand on her shoulder as they headed towards the training room. "I would be honored to join you, Lady Terabyte."
"Not at all, the honor is mine I assure you, good pin cushion." She teased lightly.
"You're not going to let that one go are you?"
"Nope."
They came in from training with heated frames and high spirits. She had successfully managed to knock Skyquake to the training mat for the first time, and was as a result, feeling quite proud of herself. His suggestion that she use her opponent's size against them, using her own tiny Protihexian frame to gain the advantage in speed and agility. Both of them still laughing at Skyquake's expression when she knocked the huge mech down, they sat down in the quiet corner that they usually sat at.
"Something cold and refreshing?" Sky asked her as he got up to get the dessert he'd owed her.
"Ooh yes. That sounds great! How about that chilled silver jelly? The one with liquid nitrogen on top?" That one was her favorite.
"Of course." Skyquake laughed. "What else? You love the silver."
He came back with her requested dessert and a green slice of something she'd never seen before for himself.
"What is that?" She asked as she poked it lightly with her utensil. It jiggled furiously before returning to its original position.
"I haven't got a clue. Lugnut called it the chef's special. Decided to try it out for curiosity's sake." He said with a grin as he too poked it. "I'm beginning to wonder the wisdom of that…"
She laughed quietly. "Curiosity off-ed the photovoltaic cat, or so they say."
For a while they ate their desserts in companionable silence before Skyquake spoke up again, somewhat tentatively. He raised his eating utensil, casually gesturing with it. "So… why do you keep your battle mask raised all the time? Am I just that terrifying?"
The little femme smiled weakly at his teasing and poked around at the remains of her jelly, suddenly not hungry. "I-it's for personal reasons… I ..."
The truth of the matter was that she was afraid to trust again. She was afraid to completely trust someone. It hurt to consider not trusting her best friend, but she just wasn't ready to take it down. The femme picked at her food for a bit more. She wanted to trust him fully. Just... not yet.
He seemed to understand that she didn't want to talk about it and reached forward and squeezed her hand gently. "Hey... it's okay. It's not a big deal. You have your reasons for it and I respect that." He smiled at her.
"Thank you, Sky." She smiled back, relieved. Her spark twinged painfully at the ever present mental reminder: He'd never seen her smile...
Skyquake lashed out at the enemy presence, trying with all his might to either eliminate it or make it go away. His helm ached so badly. The presence was blocking his attacks, but other than that, nothing was affecting the medic. In fact, he seemed to be enjoying Skyquake's pain. After a while the medic spoke up in his mind; boredom evident in his tone.
'Are you done yet? I have work to do.'
'GET OUT OF MY MIND!' Skyquake yelled mentally, still attacking the medic's mind. His logic processors were slowly rebooting, but were still nonfunctional.
'You do realize this is a one-way connection. There's nothing you can do to hurt me.'
Skyquake fumed in his thoughts, glaring at the medic both mentally and physically. 'I can keep you from doing anything.'
'True, but the longer I am in your mind, the more your helm hurts. I'm here to help you, Decepticon.' The other mech didn't seem too pleased about it at all.
'I don't want you in my helm.' Skyquake replied stubbornly.
'And I don't want to be in your rust-heap of a helm.' The presence retorted. 'I don't have time for this…'
Skyquake got the distinct impression that the medic had just slumped his helm into his hands in exasperation. After a few nanoseconds the medic came up with a compromise.
'Would you let me do my job if she,' An image of Terabyte appeared in Skyquake's mind. 'were here to make sure I'm not trying to hurt you?'
The green mech glared mentally at the medic, but finally shook his helm. 'Just get it over with.' He opened his mind to the invasive and grouchy presence. He didn't want Terabyte to see just how fragmented his processors were. It would only hurt her.
The presence caught that thought and nodded, beginning his work of examining Skyquake's processors. Skyquake watched the medic's every movement warily until they were nearly half-way done.
From the medic's thoughts, Skyquake gathered that the damage was not as bad as it had felt to him. While it would take time for his processors, all of which were now online, to work together properly, the medic was able to speed up the process, making his processors run much closer to in sync, though still not perfectly.
'What is a Decepticon?' He asked finally.
The presence spluttered for a while, his thoughts filled with hatred and a long string of insults. Skyquake got the impression that the medic had no clue how to answer that. After a while the medic answered simply: 'I'll let Optimus handle that one…'
'Who's Optimus?' His processors were telling him that this 'Optimus' was an enemy that he had orders to kill, but Skyquake decided to find out who he was before he made too firm of judgement.
'Ah…' Once again there was a long spell in which the medic thought about how best to answer. He settled on a vague, 'You'll learn soon enough. I'm finished.'
'So, you're getting out of my mind now?'
'Yes.'
Skyquake could tell that the medic had helped, because while his helm still ached, his processors weren't nearly so disjointed. Right before the medic left, he uploaded a data package to Skyquake.
'With that, you'll be able to understand the native languages of this world. Use English.'
Focusing on gratitude, Skyquake transmitted his thanks to the medic before he disconnected. Skyquake did the same with a sigh of relief. It was good to be alone in one's own helm.
"So?" Terabyte asked the medic as soon as they'd pulled away from the hub.
"Processor damage is minimal, and he is mentally stable, if a little confused. He has little to no memory." Ratchet answered. Terabyte gave a little gasp and was about to speak when the medic held up his hands for her to let him continue. "However, from what I can tell, the memories aren't lost; they're just inaccessible at the moment."
He already knew that, what he really wanted to know was why he couldn't talk and move without enormous effort. Terabyte glanced over at him worriedly before voicing his question. She didn't seem to have realized that he could understand what she was saying now.
"If there's no damage to his processors, why isn't he acting... normal?"
Ratchet sighed and put on a longsuffering tone like he was talking to a group of younglings. "It's like when you were younger. Directly after a major processor upgrade, you would find it difficult to speak and move properly even though you knew how to. You would be a little confused and a few of your memories would be blurred, especially the most recent ones. That is all that is wrong with Skyquake. It will take time for him to adjust to a new processor and it's setting off his mental balance."
Skyquake spoke slowly and deliberately, trying to make the words come out right. "When...long?" He growled at the mixed up words. He hoped that it wouldn't be long. He didn't like feeling so slow.
"A few orns, a few quartex. It depends." Ratchet answered firmly.
A few quartex. He would be like this for orns... if he was lucky. Skyquake let out a groan of dismay. Quartex! He wasn't sure if he could handle the ache in his helm and this dreaded slowness for that long.
Looking over at Terabyte, who had sat down beside him, Skyquake tried to put on a brave face. Apparently it didn't work to well. She reached up and wrapped her dainty little hands around his own comfortingly.
The medic chose this time to leave the room, grumbling under his breath about sappy Decepticons infesting his med-bay.
Terabyte smiled down at him, her delicately pointed features visible. The Prussian blue mask had been retracted, revealing the beautiful face behind it.
A vague memory floated to the surface of his thoughts. That same silvery face hovered over him, bathed in the spectacular pinks and oranges of a desert sunset. Shining as they fell from her upward slanted golden optics were drops of coolant. He could feel them splashing on to his chest, stinging slightly as they slid into his exposed circuitry.
The image faded as his optics, both in reality and in the memory, dimmed. He could feel his systems shutting down as exhaustion swept over his aching frame. Her words echoed quietly through his mind as he slipped into a peaceful recharge.
'It's going to be alright... I promise!'
Terabyte smiled down at the green jet, hoping that she'd successfully hidden her concern. She never was any good at controlling her faceplates. The minute his ruby optics dimmed, the Prussian blue battle mask snapped back into position.
After he had fallen into recharge, Terabyte stayed with him for a few more groons before the medic came back in and shooed her away for the night.
"Arcee. Come escort Terabyte to your quarters. I want her out of my wires stat!" Ratchet complained into the comm line.
Soon enough, Arcee and Cliffjumper came in to get her. Terabyte was far too tired from the emotional stress of the rotation to even consider protesting the need for her to have an escort.
She couldn't help but notice how that, while Cliffjumper was laughing and chatting animatedly, Arcee was following behind, face unreadable, in a rather standoffish manner.
"Hello Tiny. Come along home." Cliffjumper greeted her cheerfully, not having, apparently, noticed Arcee's strange behavior.
Terabyte didn't even protest the nickname. She took a deep vent and followed behind at a respectful distance. After walking for a while, taking much longer than she thought necessary, the two Autobots in front of her seemed to forget she was there and Cliffjumper spoke to Arcee quietly.
"So, 'Cee. What's up? You've been kind of... distant since I got back."
"I haven't been-"
Cliffjumper cut her off gently, purposefully taking a wrong turn. The fact that the warrior femme didn't notice spoke volumes. Since Terabyte didn't have the right to interrupt, and she was still wary of bringing the two-wheeler's wrath down on herself, the spy remained silent and tried not to listen to the obviously private conversation. She wished the red mech had taken the right turn.
"Arcee... I'm not blind. I came back, and shortly afterwards you started drawing away. What's wrong, 'Cee? I want to help."
"Cliff'." Arcee said, her voice torn. "That's just it! You know me too well... I-I've already lost one partner to this war... I don't want- I thought if I..."
Terabyte knew exactly what the other femme was doing. She'd thought the same once. But she'd tried that, and it didn't work. All it did was make her lonely and make her think more about what was lost, with no comfort.
"You thought that if you shut me out, it wouldn't hurt so much." Cliffjumper finished softly. "That won't work, 'Cee... I won't let you do that to yourself, I've seen you like that. You're better than that."
Arcee stopped abruptly and fell into Cliffjumper's gentle, ready embrace. "I know, Cliff'..."
Unfortunately, Terabyte was so tired and lost in her own thoughts and memories that, oblivious to the world around her, the small navy and black femme just kept walking forward. Straight into the two Autobots lightly hugging in front of her.
She crashed into them, falling backwards to the floor with a loud clang of metal on concrete. Arcee took a step towards her, looking down at her with blazing optics. Terabyte looked back up at the angry femme with wide optics, her armor flaring just a little bit more.
"What are you doing here, 'Con?"
Cliffjumper put a restraining hand on her blue shoulder, but she ignored it.
Terabyte glared up at her escort and retorted, "Supposedly, I was being escorted to quarters, because I'm not trusted enough to walk to my berth without a guard. Only my guards decided to slowly stroll through every single corridor on this base except the one leading to our quarters. And now, it would seem that what I'm doing here is getting yelled at for existing."
Cliffjumper glanced at the fuming femme next to him then at the indignant one at his feet spoke carefully. "Why didn't you just say something?"
"I'm a prisoner." She spat in reply. "I don't have the right to question my commanding officers' decisions."
An unreadable expression flashed across Arcee's faceplates and her frame relaxed. She thrust out one hand, with the intent of helping the smaller femme to her pedes.
Terabyte's tired processors mistook the motion for an attack and scrambled backwards on the floor, nearly extending her dagger before realizing she'd never re-positioned it to safely do so.
Knowing that her mission would be compromised if she fired on them, Terabyte shut her optics and braced herself against the wall she'd scooted up against. Arcee was unpredictable and had a much looser grip on her facade, the Autobot within her may very well slip past.
When a small hand, about the size of her own, gently landed on her upper arm, Terabyte slowly opened one optic to peek up at Arcee. Her expression, while not precisely friendly, didn't appear to be angry either.
Terabyte stood up quickly, brushing the dust from her armor hurriedly, trying to hide her embarrassment. Warily she watched Arcee as she stepped away from the wall.
"We're Autobots, kid. We don't cause pain without reason." Arcee said, not unkindly.
Terabyte couldn't restrain her dark mutter, though she was pretty sure they didn't hear, "And when you have a reason?"
She nearly burst out laughing at Cliffjumper, who had lagged behind Arcee just enough to whisper in her audial, "All Pit breaks loose. Trust a guy with experience."
There was crashing and screaming all around her, the air filled with smoke and the bitter smell of burnt Energon. The tower was falling... falling. Her sire's grayed frame, still clutching the lifeless frame of her carrier, was speeding towards her. She raised her hands up to shield her faceplates and ran.
Suddenly she looked around in confusion. Protihex was smoking, the explosions ceased. She kept running and tripped over Skywarp's helm. The red optics glowed brightly and the bent mouth curled into a twisted and deformed grin.
"Hey kid." The decapitated helm looked like it had more to say, but she screamed and scrambled to her pedes, running from it as fast as she could.
She ran and ran till she could run no further, yet somehow she had hardly moved. Skywarp's helm laughed at her. Something was coming towards her, the blue-tinted smoke curling around the limping, mangled figure.
As it neared, she could just make out who it was. "Smokescreen? Smokescreen!"
She ran towards him, but stumbled to a halt when the surrounding smoke cleared. His helm was tilted at a strange angle and twitching to the side as the nerves glitched, half of his young faceplates torn completely off, leaving a hideous sparking array of circuitry. The large blue optic rattled loosely in his helm without the plating surrounding it. One of his arms was missing and his left leg was attached only by a few frayed wires. Where his spark chamber ought to have been there was only a gaping hole.
Coolant ran down her face in rivers as she choked on her words and her grief. She howled as the mech-ling collapsed to the ground, his remaining hand reaching towards her. His piercing blue optics glared her accusingly.
"You promised you'd find me. You said you'd come for me! You promised!" The little white mechling gasped for air, coughing up a mouthful of life-En. "You promis..."
She let out a spark wrenching keen as the optics went out and her brother's frame went still. "No! I'm trying! I never gave up, I haven't stopped searching! I'm still tryi-!"
She screamed again as hands gripped her shoulders and shook her roughly. Striking out with her non-existent weapons, she fought the large cobalt mech. Coolant still streaming down her faceplates, she screamed at the one who'd done this.
Ultra Magnus continued to shake her. He opened his mouth and spoke... In Arcee's voice. "Terabyte! Wake up! It's just a nightmare, wake up!"
Half a groon earlier.
Arcee came back from her patrol feeling much better. She'd gone out into the desert and just drove as fast as her engine could go. The wind rushing over her sleek form, the freedom, to listen to the wind roaring by and being able to feel like she was in control. Nothing to hold her back. It had felt good. She'd needed that.
She couldn't put a barrier between herself and Cliff', that hurt too much to do. But she could keep her stupid, reckless partner safe, Arcee had decided finally. Keep him out of trouble.
She had returned to base at much more reasonable pace, taking time to admire the beauty of the star-strewn sky and the peaceful calm of the cold Nevada desert. By now the pink and blue femme was exhausted and, already early in the second night cycle - something like 12:30 a.m. in human time - Arcee was well and truly ready for a good recharge.
She didn't bother turning on the lights in her quarters when she first walked in. Arcee simply laid herself down on her berth and powered down her optics for the night. Her systems were nearly all the way shut down when she heard a whimper from across the room.
"Should probably get up and find out what her problem is..." Arcee told herself quietly.
The recharging Decepticon whimpered again and let out a sleep-muffled scream.
Arcee opened her optics and got up slowly, making her way over to the door and flipping on the light. As she turned to look at the femme, Terabyte muttered in her sleep.
"Smoke. Screen? Sm...okescreen!"
The darkly colored femme was curled up into a tight ball near the head of her berth, her armor clamped down tightly and frame overheating and tangled in the blankets. Her mask was still up, but pink coolant was pooling on the edge of her mask and spilling over. Arcee reached out her hand to take away the blanket when suddenly the femme screamed in sheer spark-pain.
The raw pain in her voice pierced Arcee's spark. It was the pain of someone who'd just lost... everything. Total despair and utter hopelessness. She knew that feeling all too well. The pain of a broken spark with no hope of being fixed again.
Arcee sat down on the Decepticon's berth, pulling the hot and coolant stained blanket away from the femme's overheating frame. She laid a hand on the femme's shoulder, shaking the trembling femme gently. Terabyte moaned, whispering in her recharge.
"No!... trying... never gave up!...searching...trying!" The femme wailed.
Arcee grabbed both the femme's shoulders and shook her with a little more force, grunting as Terabyte swung her charged yellow dagger at her face, leaving a long jagged scrape from just below her optic down to her chin, severing the tip of the pink frame on her helm. It was thankfully only a shallow scrape, but it still stung like anything.
When the sleeping femme smacked her roughly upside the helm with her mini-cannon, screaming 'Magnus' however, Arcee lost her gentleness and practically shook the femme as hard as she could.
"Terabyte! Wake up! It's just a nightmare, wake up!" She growled.
Finally the crying, fighting Decepticon's golden optics flicked open at the same time the black mini-cannon charged up, the end of it shoved into Arcee's gut. Both femmes' vents were heaving as they tried to cool their frames. Terabyte stared at the life-En dripping down Arcee's face. She looked down at the cannon point pressed against her abdominal plating, then at the raised dagger with her life-En on it.
The femme's engine whined pitifully as she returned her gaze to Arcee's face.
Arcee smiled ruefully. "Don't worry about it. I'm fine, you're fine; everything's fine. Okay?" Arcee pulled a polishing cloth out of her subspace and handed it to the defector. Her own distrust was shaken from what she'd been able to put together from the other femme's nightmare-induced wails. This femme, so young, had gone through more than she could ever truly understand.
Terabyte's golden optics never leaving Arcee's face, the femme reached forward cautiously and accepted the proffered cloth. "I will not be punished for harming you?" The femme asked her in a weak and disbelieving voice. Whatever her nightmare had been about, it was still troubling the young two-wheeler.
"No. I won't hurt you." Arcee snorted. "Although if you can fight that well in your recharge, I have no doubts that you can ably defend yourself."
"I won't should you change your mind though. My rank denies me that right, does it not?"
Arcee blinked. She would make no effort to defend herself? Even if she was attacked for no reason? "I-I guess so... I wouldn't know though," Arcee gave a tiny laugh. "Never actually read the rule book through..."
Terabyte's optics widened slightly, but with the mask, it was difficult to tell her expression. She glanced over at the cut on her face again and asked tentatively. "Do you want me to fix that for you? It is my fault after all."
"Faceplates are delicate..." Arcee said warily. "I'd prefer for a medic to do it..."
"I'm not a medic," Terabyte started slowly, "but I've been doing my own repairs for vorns now with much worse injuries."
Arcee analyzed the femme's tone and expression carefully before nodding her assent. The young femme sounded like it would make her feel much better, and Arcee was feeling tired and generous. As Terabyte gently and, admittedly, rather skillfully tended her scrape, curiosity overcame her and Arcee asked, "So... who's Smokescreen? Close friend?"
"Family." Terabyte answered softly. "He was- is like a brother to me."
"What happened to him?" Arcee asked, even though it was obvious the femme didn't like talking about it. From her experience, keeping it bottled up hurt more than letting it out.
"When I was a youngling, just upgraded to my second youngling frame that quartex - three frames away from adult, one more youngling, then two femmeling - not really all that long ago; only about a decavorn." She sighed lightly as she gently welded Arcee's faceplate. "That was when my home was destroyed. We were separated in the explosions."
Arcee frowned lightly before examining the femme's repair job. The weld was seamless, nearly invisible. In a rotation it would be healed completely. "Is he..." She trailed off, knowing how much it hurt to lose someone that close.
"Off? No. Smokescreen's not dead." The Decepticon said with firm conviction. "No, I can feel it in my spark, he's alive and out there somewhere. And I will find him."
Arcee almost missed the last, broken whisper.
"I promised..."
A.N. Any constructive criticism, comments and possible suggestions you may have are very much welcomed and 'Oh so subtly' requested.