Disclaimer: I own nothing from Phoenix Wright.
Theme 2: Love
And for your reading pleasure, I give you... Klema!
Love.
What a stupid, idiotic, idealistic idea.
Why exactly did it make people so extraordinarily hard to deal with? Ema wasn't normally quite so cynical about love, after all, it was simply a function of the body to ensure survival. Purely scientific. But those witnesses to Klavier's latest case…. Ugh. They were practically the poster couple for mushy gushiness. Every time they opened their mouths they spewed so much saccharine nonsense that Ema almost gagged on her Snackoos.
Klavier noticed that Ema's Snackoo consuming had quickened to an almost unhealthy pace, a sure sign of irritation on her part, and suggested that she wait outside until he was done. She complied without protesting, something she rarely did when the fop suggested anything. In the hallway, her Snackoo consumption rate slowed dramatically. She sat in one of the conveniently placed chairs. Somehow, she still could still at least partially hear the glimmerous fop and the equally glimmerous couple from her seat. (All those noise complaints about the fop's "music" suddenly made a whole lot more sense.)
"So considerate!" the woman cooed.
"….couple?" the man said.
She listened more intently but still couldn't pick up Klavier's much softer response. Oh, it was maddening! She couldn't tune out the fop's voice when she wanted to, but now she couldn't hear him when she was actually interested. After a few more seconds of listening, she gave up and started flipping through the files she was ready to give Klavier.
It was a pretty open and shut case. A man was shot in a public park by his ex-lover. Even Apollo Justice, the defense attorney for the case, couldn't win this one. There weren't just one or two witnesses. There were actually three separate people that had witnessed this one. But then again, Mr. Wright was on Apollo Justice's side and Mr. Wright could create miracles from hopeless cases like that one.
She was guessing that the reason glimmer-boy was putting much more effort that normal into the case was because of who his opponent was. That morning she had attempted to reattach her jaw after the fop appeared at the crime scene on time! And he had even seemed pretty well informed on the case for once. It somehow made her able to stand him just a tiny bit more. (A very tiny bit more.)
A lot of what bugged her about him was his completely unprofessional behavior. Not only was he carrying on two separate careers that didn't mesh in any way but he also insisted on giving everybody irritating nicknames and flirting with anything that was both human and female. He also somehow managed to be completely carefree about the way he handled cases but still win the majority of them. Sometimes he blew off investigations entirely to go to attend to his big ol' fancy rock star life and left all the real work to Ema. He claimed that it was because "She was such an intelligent Fraulein and didn't need his help," but Ema knew it was just laziness.
She rested her head on the back of the chair and sighed. How long was this going to take? It was already ten and the fop still hadn't even gotten around to interviewing the third witness. She had hoped to get home early and catch up on some lost sleep. For some reason, the paperwork for cases had gotten a whole lot worse after the introduction of the Jurist System. Recently she had put in a whole lot of late nights at the office. And the fop was making the entire process much more difficult than it had to be. He was always turning in important paperwork at the very last possible second! It made Ema's job so much harder. She was vaguely considering giving him a piece of her mind as she slowly drifted off to sleep.
"Fraulein? Fraulein?"
Her eyelids fluttered open just enough to see a certain glimmerous prosecutor leaning over her. She jammed her lids shut again before realizing groggily that the motion was completely pointless. She had a sort of dim recollection of him repeating that obnoxious nickname multiple times so he most likely wouldn't be giving up any time soon.
"Perhaps you should be getting more sleep, ja?" he said lightly, standing upright again.
Her eyes snapped open and she fixed him with a glare that she wished had the power to vaporize him on the spot. Whose fault was it that she hadn't been getting enough sleep, huh? "If you would get things done on time for once, I would be getting enough sleep, fop!" she said irritably, her anger giving her a burst of energy that was much more effective than her usual caffeinated beverages.
"You had something for me, Fraulein?" he asked, bypassing her grumpy response. After all the time he'd known the detective he'd become used to her many moods. Most of the moods she displayed in his company were varied forms of grumpy, but that was beside the point.
She shoved the file at him and stood abruptly. He fumbled with the manila folder for a second, giving her time to begin her getaway. However, grappling with the file only detained him for a few seconds, after which he quickly caught up to her. "Why are you in such a rush?"
She didn't pause and continued to stride down the hallway as she shot him an icy glare. "I want to go home," she said coolly. "Contrary to popular belief, I do not enjoy spending time in your office." (She really did want to kill Gumshoe for starting those rumors about her and the fop having a thing for each other. The reason she spent abnormal amounts of time in his office was because of his own irresponsibility, not because she had any sort of attraction to him.)
"But Fraulein, we have not yet gone over the case," he pointed out.
She didn't bother pausing and made a split second decision about whether she should take the elevator or the stairs. (Stairs, obviously. Being trapped in an enclosed space with the fop was very high on her list of things she never wanted to do in her lifetime.) "Fine," she said shortly, heading for the stairs. "What do you want to go over?"
"Would you stop walking, bitte?" he asked.
She fixed him with a stony glare and continued on her path to the stairs instead of responding.
"Fine. Would you at least take the elevator?"
She paused. "If you'll leave me alone once we're out of the building, then fine." He nodded and she changed her path. She jabbed the elevator button and stared at him impatiently. "Okay, talk," she ordered.
"Did you find anything new today?" he asked conversationally.
"No. And they wouldn't even let me test out my new luminol on the scene," she said, her lower lip sticking out ever so slightly.
He smiled, amused. Her passion for science really knew no bounds. "They don't like it when you destroy evidence, Fraulein," he said reasonably.
"It's all in the name of science," she said stubbornly. The door to the elevator slid open and the two entered the elevator. She hit the button for the ground floor and the doors slid closed again. "I'm just doing my job."
"You're a detective, not a forensics expert, ja?" he said, forgetting momentarily that the topic was one of her sore spots.
"You can't talk!" she snapped, immediately going on the defensive. "You don't even do your job half the time!"
He smirked. "I don't do my job? Name one thing I did wrong today."
Her frown got deeper. What was he so smug about? "You didn't talk to the third witness," she said triumphantly.
"No, I did that while you were asleep," he said, shaking his head. "You were asleep for quite some time."
"Wait, what time is it?" she said, pulling her cell phone out of her pocket. How long had she been asleep? The screen on the front of her phone read 12:45. She blinked and checked it again. When there was no doubt that 12:45- no, make that 12:46- was actually the time, she turned on Klavier. "Why didn't you wake me up?" she demanded.
He shrugged. "My meeting with the good Fraulein ran long. I assumed that you had gone home."
She assumed that the "good Fraulein" he was talking about was the third witness rather than another one of those girls that often threw themselves at him. (It had happened before. He'd invited some of them up to his office, much to her consternation.) "No, I was still waiting for you to finish talking with that annoying couple," Ema said grumpily, tucking her cell phone back in her pocket.
He tilted his head and stared at the elevator doors. "They were quite…" He paused, seeming to be searching for the word. "Affectionate."
Ema scoffed. "That's an understatement."
"Perhaps," he mused, his face serious.
She stared at him, waiting for him to say more. Surprisingly, he didn't. Even more surprisingly, he looked almost serious. In her company, the fop was rarely quiet. On the rare occasion that he was quiet, he certainly didn't look serious. The probability of the two highly improbable events occurring at the same time was incredibly slim. In fact, before that moment she would have sworn it was impossible. She would have assumed that she would enjoy the silence, but it was putting her on edge instead. People shouldn't go changing their natures on her! At least his obnoxious personality was a known quantity. In science, if you stuck an unknown substance in your experiment, it was likely nothing good would come of it.
So far, she wasn't liking this experiment.
The elevator doors opened and she hurried across the deserted lobby with Klavier close behind her. "Have you ever been in love, Fraulein?" he asked suddenly.
It was unexpected enough to make her pause. "Not really," she replied, surprised enough to answer honestly. "Why?"
"Hmm," was his only answer. The slight fear of the unknown weighing on her stomach intensified until the brooding look on his face melted off and was replaced with his characteristic teasing grin. "I'm sure you will become more understanding when you are." With that, he swept past the flabbergasted detective and held open the lobby door for her. She was hit with a desire to kick him in the shins as she stomped past him. "Would you like a ride home?" he offered.
On his "hog?" She thought not. "Good night, fop," she said flatly, beginning her walk to the nearest bus stop.
A/N: This was fun. I've never written from Ema's POV before. (Actually, this is only my second PW story ever.) I'm not quite sure if I got Klavier right. Oh, and bitte means please in German.