Chapter Fifteen

I awake in the middle of the night. When I notice I am awake, I try to remember what I was just dreaming about, only to discover I can't remember a thing about it. Fifteen minutes later and this nasty just-woke-up taste in my mouth is not letting me get back to sleep. I sit up and force myself out of bed. The world is colored in night-vision red light. I open my bedroom door and the welcome sign I hung on it for a reason I can't remember makes a 'clang' noise. Right. I remember now – there are people sleeping in my house. How weird is that? I suppose I should keep quiet. Fortunately for me, my destination the bathroom is right across the hall from my room. I sneak in, but don't bother to close the door. I'll just brush my teeth to get rid of the taste and then go back to bed. To do that though, I have to look in the mirror. I've been trying really hard to avoid looking in mirrors or puddles since I was infected. Looking at myself in this grotesque state of being not only reminds me of just how messed up my world is right now which ushers in a pestilence-like depressing mood, but it's extremely unnerving to boot. The little girl's face looks back at me. I'm not going to call it mine. It's not. Not at all. And with everything stained red in this strange night-vision of mine it looks even more disturbing. I get real close to the mirror. I want to see if I still have eyeballs. The glowing just gets more intense. I can't see anything past it. Damn.

Whatever, though. I'm still half-asleep right now, and thus too tired to care. Not too tired to brush my teeth with knife fingers, though. I must finally be adept with these things, now. That's nice to know.

The floor creaks outside the bathroom. In an instant I turn to see what made the noise. "Oh fuck!" A voice whisper-shouts. It's Ann. I can see her clearly, though she probably can't see me. "Jesus, Maggie… that is you, right? You scared the shit out of me!"

"Uh… sorry?" I mumble with a mouth full of toothpaste.

"What are you doing up? Can't sleep or something?" She asks in a whisper.

I take a swig from a bottle of water I'd kept in the bathroom for just this, swish it around in my mouth and spit the remains out in the bathtub. "Something like that. Brushing my teeth."

Ann sighs. "Whatever, I'm going back to bed; if I can even sleep after that – waking up to see two beady little red eyes in the dark. Shit."

"They're red? Seriously?"

"How would you not know that?" Ann whispers after a moment of contemplation over the strangeness of my question.

"Um, I've… kinda been avoiding looking at myself. I'm not a pretty sight, in case you haven't noticed." There is a pause, filled with the background noise of crickets chirping in the night. Didn't she say she was going to bed? Is there something she wants to say to me? Her eyes are darting. She's silent, though. I have a question I want… no, I need to ask. I should do it now. "You… you said the four of you were going to Fort Knox, right?"

"I did." She responds. I can see in her face that she already knows what I'm going to ask her next.

"Could you… take me along with you?" I say.

She sighs, and stands in silence for a moment, thinking of how best to respond. "Not my place to say. Or rather…" Another sigh. "I'd like to say yes, but… I don't know if the others would agree. Look, it's late. I'm tired. Can this discussion wait until the morning?"

"Of course! Of course. Sorry - I'm sorry. I'll let you get back to sleep, it's just… I'm sorry." No more words were exchanged; the two of us quickly returned to our rest.

I wake up to a house of silence. I open my eyes, squinting at first. What time is it? Is no one else up yet? I don't hear anyone. I should get up.

My bedroom is filled with daylight. I throw the blanket off, accidentally making a tear in it with a finger. I scoot over to the edge of my bed, where a small table is sitting next to it. On the table is my watch. I pick it up and check the time. It's 10:40. It's that late? What on Earth? No way all four of them would still be asleep. I figured they'd leave at daybreak.

I start to freak out. "Hey! Anyone out there?" I shout. I probably shouldn't have. Just because the neighborhood seemed purged of infected last time I looked doesn't mean there couldn't be a gaggle of them outside now. There is no response of any type to my hail, however. That's not good. I quickly get on the first clothes I see, a music festival t-shirt and a pair of blue jeans and open my door to the rest of the house.

Empty. The house is completely empty. They left. They left me here without a single word. Without telling me anything. They… why? Why would they do this? Did I say something? Was it something I said? Did they not believe me? Like, when I said I wasn't going to attack them? Or do they… did they just decide they were better off leaving me alone? That's that then, huh? I'm just the lone oddity in the world – the freak better to ignore than to help?

I clench my teeth in anger and pace through the house. I had an idea – a hypothesis on the infection. It made sense, too, and I was going to tell them it if they'd take me with them! Seriously, why did they have to leave! It makes me so fucking infuriated! I thought I actually had something to aim towards here.

Channeling my anger into one mad swing, I swipe my hand straight through the dining room table. It severs into two clean-cut pieces and crashes to the floor. The noise and clamor brings me to my senses. My breathing is heavy; I take a moment to catch it. "Well, this sucks." I mumble. "What the hell do I do now?" As if the cosmos wished to answer my question itself, I happened to notice on my mother's chair an item that was not there previously: a pair of binoculars, resting on top of a piece of paper. In a curiosity-driven burst of speed, I dash to the chair. I carefully grab the piece of paper out from under the binoculars. It is a note, written in a decidedly feminine handwriting.

"Couldn't convince the others. If you still want to come, meet us at Warwick Park. The binoculars are an extra pair we had. Whatever you end up doing, good luck."

Ann, you are awesome.

I waste no time grabbing the things needed to chase after them. They could already be there for all I know. Okay - gun, check. Lots of ammo, check. Bandages, check. Hat (gotta have my hat), check. Food… well whatever I can find that's left in my pantry, check. Do I need a bar of soap? I should probably grab a bar of soap. Cleaning wounds, etc. And finally, the satchel to carry it all in… check.

I stop at my front door. The realization finally dawned on me. I will probably never see my house again. This is it. This is actually it. I'm never coming back here. I let out a heavy sigh. You really wanna go? You know it's a fight for survival out there, right? No, that's not the way to think. I stopped second-guessing myself a long time ago. Of course it's do or die. There's no turning back this time. I'm not questioning my actions anymore. What happens happens! Rifle in hand, I'm ready to kill any and all infected that cross my path. I open the door and walk out into remnants of the world.

Before I left the house I grew up in, I carved into the side of the house near the front door my name, with a message explicitly stating that this is my house, and I'm still alive and kicking ass out there.