This is the second chapter in the Chicago story... Emily and Hoch are obviously the same age.

"I will love you as the iceberg loves the ship, and the passengers love the lifeboat and the lifeboat loves the teeth of the sperm whale, and the sperm whale loves the flavour of naval uniforms." — Lemony Snicket.

It had been... to say the least... the toughest case Emily had ever been a part of.

The last body they'd found... that of a sixteen year old dark haired girl... had made her loose it completely, and only for Hotch had been there to calm her down she'd probably still be in a state now.

No one else had noticed... it's not like she'd cried or anything... but once Hotch seen how the girl resembled Emily both in looks and in the age she'd been when she'd had an abortion he'd looked at her and seen she was near breaking point.

Hotch had calmly excused the pair of them from the scene and taken her to a spot behind a tree where they couldn't be seen and Emily had immediately thrown up on the ground around her.

Hotch had tried to comfort her but she'd told him there was no need, that she was fine and that it was just the shock of seeing someone so like her... dead and alone after what they'd gone through that had upset her.

They'd caught the man responsible shortly after... he'd slipped up and left a fibre on the body and that along with the profile was enough to send him away for life.

Hotch and Emily had offered to stay behind and clear up... Gideon and Katie were going to get some sleep before the flight out the next morning.

"Do you want to get a drink?" Hotch asked as they put away the last case file.

"I think I'd rather just go to bed, thanks." Emily sighed, as she picked up her jacket and headed for the door... she really just wanted to curl up with a tub of ice-cream and a crappy romance movie on her couch and forget about this case.

"Oh no you don't!" Hotch said, placing an arm on her shoulder to stop her leaving. "I know you well enough to know you're going to eat yourself silly and watch the movie that can destroy the most brain cells the quickest and I'm not going to let that happen, you're coming with me." He said, adding emphasis to the last part as he also grabbed his coat and dragged her from the room.

"You know me to well... stalker!" Emily joked as they left the building.

"Yea... I don't think they call it stalking when you tell me how you unwind after a case in your letters." Hotch laughed as he unlocked his car.

"Minor technicality." Emily laughed as she jumped in the passenger door.

"Oh yea just a minor one." Hotch teased as he started the engine and headed out onto the street.

They didn't talk while in the car, Hotch followed Emily's directions to the bar that she visited and he was pleasantly surprised to find it was a quiet bar with very few people in it... not the kind of place you'd expect a twenty nine year old single woman to visit on her night of... then again Emily Prentiss wasn't what you'd call an average twenty nine year old woman!

They found a table in a quiet corner of the room, with a view of the bar so they could get the bar mans attention for more drinks if necessary... which it most certainly would be after the case they'd had.

They sat down and the bar man came over with a scotch for Hotch and a beer for Emily, walking away quickly when he saw neither person at the table was in the mood for thanking him for his service.

"I thought you liked vodka and cranberry?" Hotch questioned as Emily took a swig from her beer bottle... thinking back to what she'd been drinking at his wedding.

"Yea... well I changed." Emily said quietly, not ever taking her eyes of her drink.

"Emily what's wrong." Hotch asked with a sigh, placing his drink down on the table and trying to catch her eye.

Emily didn't answer immediately, instead lifting her drink to her lips and taking another gulp of out of the now almost empty beer bottle, before placing it carefully on the table and slowly meeting Hotch's gaze.

"It's just... the guy we caught... he was... his wife had an abortion behind his back, and it broke him to the point where he became a serial killer." Emily whispered looking away from Hotch again.

"Yes?" Hotch said, wanting her to continue as he didn't quite know what she meant by what she was saying.

"Well... John... my baby's father... well what if that happened to him? I mean I haven't seen him since Italy... what if I broke him and I spent all these years thinking about myself when it was him who was in trouble?" Emily whispered, looking back at Hotch with a tear in her eye.

"Hey... don't think like that, you done what was best for you and that's what matters!" He replied, wiping a tear from her eye.

"Yea but... that's the problem, I done what's best for me... I didn't think of anyone else... my friend Matthew, he's the only person who stood by me the whole time I was in Italy and now I'm here and he's probably injecting himself with something on a street corner... I couldn't deal with ruining two lives; I barely managed to forgive myself for ruining his!" She said, letting another tear escape as she spoke.

"Emily you listen to me." Hotch said, staring at her intently. "What happened in Italy fourteen years ago is in the past... what happened to Matthew is not your fault and as for John, he had as much a part in things as you did yet he didn't want to help you through so he doesn't deserve you worrying about him... It's in the past and it's never going to be mentioned again... understand?" Hotch finished firmly.

"Uh huh." Emily said with a watery smile. "Thanks Hotch."

"Any time Emily, any time." He replied, before motioning for another round of drinks for the pair.

The rest of the evening went quietly, neither said much, the odd time talking about a past case either had or about anything else topical but most of the evening went in silence, neither really in the mood for talking.

Emily anyway was more intent on drowning her sorrows, and judging by the amount of beer she was downing she was doing a fine job of it as well.

"Emily." Hotch called quietly at twelve o clock. "I think you've had enough." He said, motioning to the six empty beer bottles that littered the table.

"I'm fin'!" Emily replied in a slight slur.

"Of course you are, now come on." Hotch said, helping her up of her seat and holding out her jacket do she could slip it on.

She did this with some difficulty, almost tripping when she stood and missing her left sleeve on the first attempt , but Hotch still managed to get her out of the bar... supported on his side... within ten minutes.

Once out in the surprisingly cold night breeze Hotch felt Emily huddle closer to him as he walked towards his car.

Once at the car Hotch propped Emily up between the car and his body as he looked for his car keys... not that she really needed it, as she'd always been able to hold her drink and the crisp breeze had probably sobered her up slightly.

"I love you, you know." Emily said suddenly, staring into Hotch's eyes.

"Uh... I love you too Emily." Hotch said, stopping his search for car keys once she spoke, but keeping his eyes firmly on his jacket, afraid to look Emily in the face.

"No I don't mean a platonic kind of love silly... I mean I love you, like I'm jealous of Haley and wish you were mine kind of love." Emily replied, never taking her eyes of Hotch.

There was a moment of silence in which the noises of the Chicago night seemed to drown away and all that was left was the sound of him and Emily breathing, as Hotch processed what she'd just said.

"I know..." Hotch whispered after a moment, finally lifting his head up to look Emily in the eye.

"What?" She replied in shock... whatever reply she'd been expecting that had not been it... getting shouted at maybe, or even laughed at, but not what he'd just said.

"I know what you meant Emily... but I can't." Hotch sighed, "I'm not my father, and I couldn't do that to Haley." He finished sadly, looking away again.

"I'm sorry I said that." Emily said after a moment. "I knew nothing would ever happen, I just... It must be the alcohol speaking." She finished lamely, also looking away.

There was a moment of awkward silence, neither knowing what to say to make it go away.

"You know, there's a taxi stop right round the corner." Emily mumbled, trying to move away from Hotch suddenly.

"No Em, it's ok, I'll give you a lift." Hotch said, not wanting her to go off on her own.

"Aaron, you really don't have to... I think things are awkward enough already." Emily replied, finally breaking away from Hotch's grip and walking briskly away.

"Emily, Emily, EMILY." Hotch roared after her as she moved further and further away.

She ignored him though... as much as she wanted to run back and jump into his arms she knew she couldn't... she doubted she'd ever be able to again.

So instead of turning back to the man she loved who was now standing watching her leave with a tear in his eye, she walked away, tears flowing freely down the side of her face.

Ah the drama! Ok don't hate me too much for that because I will make it better I promise (though there is one or two more bad chapters before that happens). Ok so I'm going to go now before ya'll get to angry... review it please =)