If I owned these characters, I would not be working a full-time job while finishing a full-time graduate program. I am just borrowing them for the day…

A special thanks to gingersnapped907 and ProfTweety for reading to make sure I wasn't missing words and helping me rewrite this chapter multiple times. Any mistakes are actually mine.

Chapter 10: Heart-to-Heart Conversation

It takes me a moment to figure out where I am as I slowly wake up to the strong smell of garlic and the muted sounds of the Dodger's game. As I fully wake up, I realize that I actually fell asleep on Andy's couch and my head is currently resting on his shoulder while his arm is wrapped around my shoulders.

I am so comfortable where I am so I am loath to move too much, but know I can't stay here all night. "Hey," I whisper as the game goes to commercials and I start to move to get off the couch.

"Hey. Are you hungry? I put your dinner in the oven to keep it warm. Just let me go get it for you," Andy places his plate on the coffee table and starts to get up.

"No, I'll get it. Is the salad in the fridge?" I need the couple of minutes to regroup anyway and I can stall if I need more time in the kitchen. I wonder just how asleep was I that I never even heard him come in. I certainly was not expecting to wake up in his arms tonight when I agreed to dinner tonight. While it is slightly uncomfortable, I realize the discomfort is due to it being new, not Andy. I find the half salad in the fridge and put it on the plate that I grabbed from the dining room. Then, I grab the pot holders to pull the rest of dinner out of the oven. Andy picked up the carbonara with extra bacon for me. It doesn't take me long to get it on the rest of my plate along with the garlic bread that he picked up. I take a couple of moments and breathe in and out just to make sure that I am fully relaxed before we begin this conversation. I pick up my plate and turn to walk to Andy's sofa since he has already started eating his dinner there.

As I approach the couch, Andy rises to let me move around him as he turns off the TV. I try to not notice as my hips brush against him as I move past. As I sit next to him, I notice Andy is studying me as if he is debating his next step. "You were ok before the meeting with the judge but something happened there that you alluded to earlier. What happened to unsettle you today, Sharon? What rumors did Grove talk to you about?"

I just look at my plate. I really wanted to eat first, but now I do not have an appetite. "Can we just watch the game until I'm finished with dinner?"

"Sure. Are you ok watching the Dodgers or did you want to watch something else?" Andy quickly drops the conversation which surprises me. I figured he would press me to answer his questions.

"The Dodgers are fine. What's the score?"

"Still tied at 0."

I hum in response as I take my fork and run it through the pasta. If I just keep twirling it, then I won't finish dinner and we won't have to have this conversation tonight. My mind keeps wandering as it remembers that we have agreed to continue to communicate with each other no matter how uncomfortable the conversation may get. We've done that as friends and we need to continue to do it if we are going to deepen the friendship into something more. I barely recognize the fact that I am still twirling the pasta on my fork or that Andy was watching me as I did.

"Sharon, you do know that playing with your food won't change the fact that we will have this conversation tonight, right?" I just hum in acknowledgement. "I'm giving you until the end of the inning and then we will talk. You would not have brought it up earlier if you didn't want to talk about it today, so I'm not letting you get out of it." I just hum in response as I drop the pasta off my fork and start working on my salad.

Thankfully, the Dodgers decided to have a big rally in the bottom of the third inning. It gave me a chance to actually finish eating my dinner and to make a cup of tea for both of us. I'm not looking forward to this conversation, but we have been putting parts of this conversation off for at least the last six months and it needs to happen. As the water comes to a boil, I pick the tea pot off the stove and pour the water into two mugs. I feel Andy come up behind me as I finish putting the tea bags into the cups. As I stare at the bags, I take a couple of deep breaths. As he puts his hand on my lower back, I realize that I need to start this conversation.

"Want to grab your cup and sit at the table with me?" I ask hoping that we can have this conversation facing each other rather than sitting next to each other.

"Sure. Let me start the dishwasher first though."

I pick up my mug and slowly walk to the table. Tonight is making me realize exactly why it took Andy as long as it did to tell me about Nicole's assumptions about our relationship. I didn't have a choice on correcting Judge Grove, but it was still hard and I'm not looking forward to where this conversation will lead with Andy. I know we're not actually dating. I'm not ready for any formal declarations, but we are very much on the line with regards to professional standards at the moment. After tonight, I can no longer state that I have never slept at his place despite the fact he wasn't even home when I fell asleep. I really hope that Taylor does not hear the rumors and decide to launch an investigation into my relationship with Andy. I have had to be the one to ask those questions before and Andy would be livid with some of them. My answers wouldn't come off as sounding innocent either.

"So what rumor did the Judge want you to confirm for him that unsettled you as badly as it did today?" Andy asks as he enters the dining room.

I hesitate in answering by taking a sip of my tea before replying and double check to make sure that Andy is not drinking before I answer. "He wanted to know if the rumors were true that I was dating a subordinate officer and wanted to make sure that I knew that my professionalism was being called into question with more than just the whole situation with Rusty."

"Ok," Andy replied as he sat down at the end of the table closest to me. "Did that upset you because we are close to not being able to deny that we're dating or because you are part of the rumor mill around the courthouse?"

"Both," I sheepishly reply. He really does know my thought process a little too well at this point.

"Ok. Is it just that you are part of the courthouse rumor mill or that we are part of the rumor mill?"

"I'm not entirely sure. I really don't like my personal life crossing with my work life, but it does concern me that our relationship is being speculated by others. That could have dire consequences for both of our careers."

"I think yours more than mine. My direct superior already knows unless you have changed who I report to without telling me," Andy jokes. In a more serious tone, he continues, "Are you ready to define whatever is going on between us or do you still need more time?"

"No. I'm not ready."

"You know that we could still report it to Taylor. There are many, many reasons that I do not want to tell him – even when we have to. However, I'm willing to tell Taylor tomorrow if it helps make you more comfortable."

"No, I'm not giving him anything that he could go and spread around the entire legal system of LA before we actually decide which direction we are going. Wasn't it you who told me back when I was investigating the leak within the division that the quickest way to get a rumor started through the legal system was to tell Taylor?"

"Yes, you're right. Since you wrote that part of the manual, how fast do we have to let Taylor know once something does start?"

I study my cup of tea as I answer, "It's supposed to be as soon as possible after the relationship changes. It gets a little more specific with the timeline if there is sex involved though."

Andy chokes on his tea. I should have actually looked at him while I let that piece of information out to make sure he wasn't in danger of choking. I don't think he was expecting me to be that blunt. I have a history of being very uncomfortable when talking about sex, but it doesn't bother me any more when talking about it with Andy. I file that thought away to ponder further at a later time.

I smirk at Andy, "Are you ok?" When he nods, I continue, "At this point, I don't think we're going to have to worry about that part of the policy manual though. I'm not the type of woman to have sex on the first date nor do I think you will pressure me into a more physical relationship than I want. Besides, I really want to take it slow when we start to cross that line especially since it has the potential to blow up if it does not work out."

"So we are not putting you or your position in jeopardy by not saying anything to Taylor at this point, right?"

"No. I'm not having sex with you and we are not dating – yet."

"Then we need to not say anything to Taylor – yet. I'm not looking forward to telling him anyway. He's a little too smug about some things."

"I think it will be so much fun to watch his reaction to probably what is one of the most uncomfortable and unexpected conversations that he would ever expect to have with me. As uncomfortable that will be for both of us, it will be a lot more uncomfortable for him especially if we play him just right."

"I still don't want to have to do it, but you want to, so I will. Besides, what you just hinted at that could be fun, hard, but fun." The smirk on his face and the twinkle in Andy's eye tells me that he might be onboard for reporting the relationship and following the rules for a change.

"Promise that you will make sure that I know if I start acting in any way unprofessional towards you. I might notice, but I probably will need to have you reign me in a bit."

"Sharon, I doubt that I will ever think that you are acting unprofessional towards me. It just isn't in you."

"Well, I can be full of surprises." The statement came out a lot flirtier than I ever meant for it to, but I do see his point.

"Yeah. I doubt it, but sure, I promise that I will call you on it if you actually cross that line. I think it is more likely that I will be upset with you and then bring it into work. You know how hot my temper can get some days."

"Andy, we'll cross that bridge when we get to it, but I think we're both adult enough to keep it out of work. We've been able to separate our friendship from work or at least talk about it in a responsible manner. Why would that change with a change in relationship status?"

"It shouldn't but that doesn't mean it won't."

"No, it doesn't, but I have faith in you to actually do the right thing. You have changed so much in the past few years. I am not worried about you bringing something into work. If I was, I wouldn't even be entertaining the idea of being in a dating relationship with you now. My concern is what if we start dating and then decide that it's not working? I don't want to lose my best friend. What if we make this step and we were wrong? Is it worth losing our friendship over something that may not work out?"

"Sharon, look at me." He waits to continue until I have looked him directly in the eyes. "No matter what happens, I will still be your friend. It means a lot to me, too. I would not be risking our friendship if I didn't think there was something greater that we can explore and that we're going to be awesome at it. How many times have you told me that it takes two people to make something not work? I'm not planning on ever giving up on this and you are not the type to give up without a fight. Are we going to hurt each other? It will happen, but we'll take it one step at a time and we'll figure out how to make it work between us. I do not doubt that we're going to make mistakes, but I promise you that I will do everything in my power to make it up to you. After I start dating you, there is very little that would make it so I stop fighting for you."

We spend the next few hours talking about the various hopes and fears for furthering our relationship along with the various expectations for each other. We discussed how and when we would let various people, like Taylor, the kids, friends, and the team, know when things were moving forward. It was also agreed that I would let him know when I was ok with moving things forward, but that he had to be the one to do the asking. By the time we finished, it was well past midnight and I was thankful for my catnap earlier that evening. I left promising to call him when I got home so he could get ready for bed. This is something that I really want to continue. I think it's time to take it up a notch.