Chapter 8 - Lost
I woke up in the pitch black night with Leah sprawled out on top of my bare chest. I felt her breathing, slowly, peacefully, and saw the small smile on her face as she slept calmly.
Inhaling deeply, I turned my head to the side to see the clock sitting on the night stand which read 3:34 AM. I barely slept at all after…what we did.
And now, thinking back on that, I can't believe it. I just had sex with my ex. I just lured her into that even though we both knew we didn't belong together anymore. Was it right? No. But did I like the feeling of being with her again? Yes. Did I like seeing her smile, her thick, dark hair lying across her warm bronze skin? Yes.
But did I still love Leah Clearwater? Not enough.
It was time to get back to Emily.
The sun creeping from my window burned down on my bare back. I was entangled in sheets and sweat and the huge blanket that once covered my bed was on the floor along with my clothes from yesterday.
"Shit." What happened last night?
As I observed my matted hair, naked body with red marks on my neck, chest, and stomach, I started to piece everything together.
Sam apologized. I accepted. We kissed…and then…
I started screaming obscenities. "Oh no! Shit, this didn't happen. It couldn't have…"
Quickly, I got down and put on my clothes from last night. My mind was racing with all the possibilities.
Hallucination. Yeah, I could have been so drunk out of my mind that I only thought all of this.
But that wouldn't explain why my clothes were off, my body sore, and my hair in matted mess. The only logical thing I could do was call Sam. But, if what happened last night really wasn't just in my head, then I can't imagine how awkward calling Sam would be.
I stood there staring at the wall for a second. Contemplating.
My thinking was interrupted by my stomach's loud growling. I guess I had to eat something before I did anything about the 'thing' that happened last night.
Man, where the hell was I going in life?
I rushed down the stairs as if hurrying faster would make everything better and clear my mind. I strolled into the kitchen, but was stopped suddenly by a small yellow sheet of paper plastered to the tiny refrigerator in the corner. It had blue words scribbled all over them in a tidy kind of way. Only my mother's writing.
Hesitating for a second, I slowly continued entering the kitchen, making my way to the refrigerator and tearing the note from the door. It read
Leah,
I'll be over at Charlie's again today. I'm sure you've noticed we've been spending a lot of time together lately. I think it is good for the both of us, Charlie and I, to be in each other's company like this. What with our loss of our lovers, it gets lonely. I hope you understand. We both haven't smiled like this in a very long while. I'll be home soon. I miss you.
Oh, and honey, I am worried about you. I stopped by earlier this morning (of course) just to check up on you. The house was a mess I noticed, and….the beer? Take care of yourself honey, please.
Love you always,
Mom
I read the note over in my head multiple times, each time my frustration and anger heightening to extremes. I finally started shaking when I started to crumple the paper in my fist.
"'What with our loss of our lovers, it gets lonely? I hope you understand? 'BULL SHIT!" I aimed the crumpled paper for the trash can. And missed. So much for werewolf abilities.
I couldn't believe she could be so oblivious to my feelings. She isn't the only one who has lost some one. Hell, I have lost two people! I felt so lost at that moment. Alone. And used.