A/N Here's another chapter! I know Rick Riordan *coughcoughImeanPercy*already made a jab at this, but I couldn't help myself. Anyways, if anyone can think of other greek products you'd like to be... tested... on Octavian, please leave a review!

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters, events or settings from PJO.

They were THE SHOES. Gleaming white with black stripes, outshining all the other shoes in the sports store. A small black checkmark adorned the sides, the logo "Just Do It" hanging optimistically from a card attached to the glorious sneakers.

"Shut your mouth, you'll catch flies," Reyna said from behind him, and Octavian was brought back to the world of the busy mall. Why he was here was beyond him, but a couple of those blasted offsprings of Venus had used their sickly-sweet voices to convince some of them to go... shopping.

It was that time of year when a section of the Roman legion was sent to that (ew) greek camp, to learn and forge a future together. As if the mighty romans could ever learn anything from greek filth! Yet somehow he found himself here, shopping of all things. Beside him various (ew) greeks teenage boys mirrored his fearful look as the way too bossy females dragged them around the mall.

"Do you think I can slip past Piper without her noticing?" Jason whispered to Percy. Percy thought about it for a second.

"If you take me with you," he decided. Jason shook his head violently.

"As if! Annabeth will notice and we'll be screwed. Then they'll beat us up together. Or worse, drag us into Forever 21."

The boys shared a look of absolute horror before falling into a silent truce of not escaping.

"Cowards," Octavian commented to a random child of Mercury. "This is why we shouldn't interact with greek filth." The child quickly scuttled away from Octavian.

Fine, Octavian thought. I'll just have to prove to these ignorant mortals that I'm brave. Pfft! If only there were gifted with enough brain cells to recognize my glory!

Making sure the no one wasn't watching, he slipped into the shadows of an overcrowded Starbucks, holding his breath until the crowd of demigods was out of sight. And then...

Wait, he thought. What do I do now? Wait at Starbucks? The thought of those godly shoes led his feet in the direction of the sports store before he even knew he was walking.

"Welcome to Sports Check, can I help you."

"No."

An annoyed cough from behind him casually ordered him to turn around and face the owner of the noise. With a sign, Octavian turned around and-bowed.

"Excuse me, your amazingness, I did not means to be rude, just, well..." he started, before Venus held up a perfectly manicured hand and shut him up.

"Little roman," she began (and Octavian made an effort to stand up taller), "I've not come her for insult. Rather, the merciful part of me is here to... help a fashionably compromised lesser."

Venus sent a rather pitiful look at his shoes. Octavian didn't appreciate the look at his shoes. After all, they were shoes. Plain black sneakers. A little worn, sure, but shoes.

"I noticed that the pair over there has caught your attention," Venus said, nodding to the checked shoes.

"Well," Octavian began. "They are rather nice, but..."

"Consider it a gift from the most beautiful and humble being in this world."

"All right then." Instantly, the shoes appeared on his feet, and he strutted out of the store, eager to show his new footwear off to those pathetic Greeks. Why, he had better shoes than Percy Jackson! He knew this day would come, but gods, this was the beginning of his "Destroy Greek Filth" movement! First, he would awe all mortals and half-bloods with his shoes. Next, he'd kill off Percy. And who would the Greeks follow after such a disruptment in their midst? Well, whoever had the best shoes, obviously! DGF had seen the dawn!

Eventually, he found the group of demigods at the entrance of the mall, almost ready to head back. Making sure to sway his hips and strut, he swagged his way over to them.

"What's wrong with Octavian," Jason whisper-yelled to Percy, who was also gawking at this strutting Octavian.

"I don't know dude-DUDE. Look at his feet." The two teenage boys bursted into a fit of giggles, muttering about... greek domination? What? No! I always knew they were insane, Octavian thought. Piper gave him a pitied expression.

"Um, Octavian. You need to know something," she began, unsure of how to break the news to him. He motioned for her to continue, while checking his reflection out (new footwear included) in a store window. "Well," she took a deep breath, "The brand of shoes you're wearing... it's called Nike."

Several things happened at once. To begin with, Octavian started screaming. Then Percy and Jason exploded into another fit of giggles. All the girls of the group slowly backed away from the (obviously) crazy males. Nike, greek goddess of victory, briefly looked up from Olympus to Earth, and felt a surge of pride for the shoes. Finally Octavian tried, with tears rushing down his face, to untie the shoes from his wondrous roman feet.

But alas, they were stuck. Sword, shield, scissors, or sushi wouldn't make the laces come undone. Octavian considered cutting off his feet, and Jason offered to help him do it. \Octavian ran into the nearest restaurant, searching desperately for a solution.

"Bro, we need to do this again," Travis Stoll said to his brother, glancing around the very packed Hermes cabin that crowded against a small TV.

"I know. Do you know how much cash we made tonight?" Conner replied, "Venus only asked for fifty drachmas and that you give your flower a flower. Who even talks like that, bro?"

Travis punched his brother. "Shut up."

"TRAVIS," a feminine voice called from the entrance of the cabin .

"Busted, bro," Conner said with a smug smile before escaping. Katie Gardener stormed up to Travis.

"Are you charging ten drachmas to let people watch Octavian try to get a pair of Nikes off his feet?" Travis nodded. She sighed.

"I kinda hate him, but isn't that a bit cruel? I mean, you saw the video of him freaking out over greek yogurt. Do you really think that Nikes won't make him go insane?"

"He is insane."

"Touché. Wait, is that a zipper on his shoe?"

"Yup."

"Are you telling me he just needs to pull down the zipper?"

"Yup."

"So I'm guessing that sticking his feet into that wood oven isn't going to solve much."

"Nope."

A/N Well, I guess a bit of Tratie is good for the soul. Anyways, please review and leave more suggestions for greek products! Thanks to Cheorkee rememberer gamer98 for their great suggestion! That will be coming up soon... REVIEW OR ELSE OCTAVIAN WILL NOTICE THE ZIPPER!