Sakura tossed and turned as the temperature in her room continued to rise. A single sliver of sunlight snaked in through her curtains slashing across her face and she groaned. Turning away from the offending source of discomfort, she opened one eye and glanced at the bright red numbers of her alarm clock. The time read one fifteen and she smiled. She still had plenty of time to sleep before her evening shift started at six. With a contented sigh she rolled over ready to give herself over to sleep again when the sound of water splashing against tile caught her attention. Her shower was running? She sat up and ran a hand through her hair, it was completely dry. Her hand fell to her pillow, it was dry too so there was no way she accidently left the shower running or something after returning home from work. That meant there was someone else in her apartment! Her heart pounded as she leapt out of bed her hand grabbing a kunai from her bedside table and she flattened herself against the wall just as the water turned off. She heard footsteps moving in the bathroom and took a deep breath before she dashed out the door to her room and entered the hallway the knife raised in front of her. The bathroom door swung open and the weapon immediately slipped from her hands clattering to the floor.
Sakura's first thought was that she had to be dreaming, which was quickly followed by the thought that she needed to thank the dream gods for the blessing before her. Standing in the doorway of her bathroom was the man of her dreams, the man she had loved since she was a child and would likely love for her entire life, Sauske Uchiah in all of his glory clad in nothing but a towel that rode deliciously low on his hips. Her heart thundered in her chest as her eyes quickly roamed up his body starting from the toes, over the toned legs, past the white cloth, to the abs sculpted by the gods themselves up to his broad chest before they settled on his face which to her surprise was tinged with a little bit of pink.
"I'm sorry. Did I wake you?" he asked. His good hand lifted above his head holding a second towel that seemed to be frozen in the middle of the act of drying his ebony spikes.
Sakura blinked and then gasped color flowing up her neck and coloring her pink to the tips of her ears as the memories from earlier that day came flooding in. No, this wasn't a dream, Sauske really was here because she'd invited him to be. Openly ogling him like that was probably one of the stupidest things she could've done.
"Oh my gosh! I am so sorry!" she exclaimed turning away from him in embarrassment. "We're supposed to meet Naruto in less than an hour so I don't have time to shower. I'll just hurry and change." She muttered before dashing away and slamming the door behind her. She leaned against it mortification washing over her and nearly growled when she swore she heard a light low chuckle from the hallway. Damn him! He knew exactly what he did to her! He probably planned that. Taking a deep breath, she summoned what little dignity she had left and quickly went to her closet. Her fingers lightly brushed over the military green jacket and navy blue shirt and pants that were standard issue for a ninja of her status thankful that she hadn't truly needed to wear them in over a year. Her memory drifted to the moment when Sauske had returned to fight alongside them on the battle field and how determined she'd been to prove to him that after all of their time apart that she wasn't the weak, giggling little girl she'd been when he left. She let out a depressed sigh as she realized that all that effort had likely gone down the drain after ogling him like that. Maybe she hadn't changed as much as she thought. Her hand then feathered over the loose fitting scrub tops and bottoms she usually wore to work at the hospital and the white doctor's coats that bore her family symbol on the back. She knew it made her parents proud to see how far she'd come and it made the extra time spend sewing the circle on by hand worth it. Finally, she came to the section of clothes she was looking for, her more casual clothes. A little frown touched her lips as she noticed the limited options there.
"I really need to get out more." She muttered as she fingered through her things finally settling on a red Chinese style dress pairing it with black leggings. Out of habit, she wrapped bandages around her thigh and attached her weapons pouch there. She grabbed her hair brush from her vanity and pulled it through her pink locks breathing a sigh of relief when they behaved curing under a little to frame her face. She picked up her leaf band and tied it in place in her hair before and checked herself over in the mirror one last time. Her eyes glanced at the clock. One forty, perfect timing. They'd have to leave soon to reach Naruto's favorite ramen shop so there wouldn't be time for any awkward conversations between her and the object of her affection and at the moment, shame. She walked out of her bedroom and into her kitchen feeling her heart stumble in her chest as she caught sight of Sauske sitting at her kitchen table sipping on what she guessed from the aroma was green tea his eyes focused on the newspaper she had delivered every morning. A view like this was one she could very much get used to. Sensing her presence, the dark haired man laid the paper down and glanced at her. A little smirk touched his lips as he looked at her.
"I see that your favorite color to wear is still red." He said quietly.
She blinked and then blushed a little before bouncing back. "Excellent observation." She replied quickly. "I see your favorite colors are still black, blue and purple. Or is that just a way of warning people that if they get too close they'll end up that color?" He was wearing black pants and a black shirt with bandages wrapped around the lower part of his legs as well as his replacement hand and arm. A blue bandana was wrapped around his head and purple scarves were wrapped around his wrists.
He blinked in surprise and then chuckled. "Touché." He replied as he rose from the table and moved towards her. He reached out with his good hand and opened it revealing the kunai she'd been holding earlier. "You dropped this." He said as she took it from his hand.
"Yeah… Sorry about that. Again." She muttered as she slipped the knife into the pouch on her leg.
He shook his head. "No, don't be. I'm just glad you're not as vulnerable as you used to be."
She blushed and smiled at his comment. She knew that in Sauske's language, that was as close to a compliment as she was going to get. Shaking her daze, she moved forward and grabbed her little white purse from where it hung on the wall and her keys slipping them inside.
"We better get going. If we're even a minute late that blonde haired idiot is going to come looking for us and drag the entire town with him." She said as she opened the door.
Sauske nodded and followed her out of the building and down onto the streets. They walked in companionable silence for a few minutes and Sakura couldn't help but smile. Even though they weren't touching, just having him near made her feel at peace. After years of fighting and searching, she was finally able to walk by his side again. Her peace was soon interrupted though when a group of shrill voices cut through the quiet air like a knife.
"Oh my gosh! It's Sauske Uchiha!" a girl with short blonde hair and violet eyes exclaimed.
"Is it really?" her red head friend replied her green eyes widening.
"He's just as good looking as the rumors said!" their dark haired companion replied as she focused her own brown eyes on him. "We should go up and talk to him!"
"Are you crazy!? He's with Sakura!" the red head replied.
"So what?" the blond replied flipping her hair. "You've heard the stories right? They're just friends. He's brushed her off so many times it's embarrassing. She's not really a threat to us."
"True that!" the dark haired girl agreed. "Let's go!"
Sakura took a deep breath as the girls quickly approached and turned on the flirt twirling their hair as they told the onyx eyed man how brave, strong and handsome he was. Though it irritated her, she wasn't about to show it. After all, what they'd said was true. She glanced at the dark haired young man and nearly smirked at the little flash of irritation that flitted across his eyes as the blonde girl, clearly the gutsiest of the group touched him lightly on the arm. It occurred to her, that he'd likely given that look to her an infinite amount of times while they were growing up, she'd just been too dense to notice it.
"Sakura!" a voice called out catching her attention. She turned at the voice and immediately recognized the one calling her and smiled broadly.
"Kiba." She exclaimed as the dog training ninja jogged up to her, his faithful furry companion Akamaru at his side. "How are you?" she asked.
"I'm doing great!" he exclaimed a toothy grin taking up most of his face. "I was just looking for you."
"Me?" she asked in surprise. "Why me?"
He scratched the back of his head nervously and blushed. "Well, you see, one of my genin she really wants to become a medical ninja. I was hoping you could stop by during our training session tomorrow and give a little demonstration. I'll treat you to dinner afterwards to make up for it."
She smiled at him and blushed a little. He was so sweet and she'd met his squad once before. The girl on his squad was named Ayame and from what she'd seen, the girl had potential but doubted herself because of her male teammates' superior power. She sympathized with her, she'd been the same way with Naruto and Sauske. "I'd love to." She replied easily.
"Really?" Kiba replied smiling broadly.
The pink haired woman nodded. "Of course! Ayame is a pretty amazing girl. She has a lot of potential and those boys of yours look like they could use a crash course in not underestimating their opponent." She said with a wink.
Akamaru barked excitedly as Kiba nodded. "Great! I'll get you all the details soon!" he then glanced at the ground. "Are you busy right now? I haven't eaten lunch yet and I was wondering if you'd like to go get something with me."
Sakura blinked and then smiled at the dog trainer. "Thanks Kiba. Any other day I'd take you up on that offer but you see…" She was startled when a large hand wrapped around her forearm.
"Sakura. Naruto is waiting." A low voice said firmly cutting her off.
Kiba's eyes widened for a moment before he shifted backwards slightly. "Sauske Uchiha. I didn't know you were back in town." He said quickly.
"I arrived this morning." Sauske replied easily before turning to look down at the pink haired young woman. "Come Sakura." He said pulling her with him as he headed down the street.
"Right." She replied trying to quiet her thundering heart. Her hand raised in a wave as she flashed Kiba a smile. "I'll see you tomorrow!" she said before turning back to Sauske. "Is everything alright?" she asked.
He merely nodded quickly but she could tell something was off about him. His grip on her arm was tighter than it probably needed to be and she recognized the pressure from when they were children. The few times he'd touched her with this amount of pressure where in situations where he was protecting her though she couldn't imagine what she needed to be protected from at the moment.
"Sauske…" she began but he cut her off again.
"We're nearly there. I can hear the idiot from here." He muttered.
They quickly entered the ramen shop and just like Sauske had said, Naruto was already there his foot tapping impatiently as he rambled to the old man at the counter about how late his friends were. His attitude and demeanor however immediately changed as he noticed their presence his face breaking into a bright, sunny smile.
"Hey guys! You're late!" he exclaimed.
"Yeah. Sorry about that." Sakura said slipping onto the stool next to her blonde teammate. "Kiba stopped me on the street. He wants me to help train his genin tomorrow."
"Really? Those kids of his are in for a world of pain." He chuckled.
"It sounds like you're speaking from experience." Sai said from his seat on the opposite side of the blonde.
"Don't act like you don't have experience in it either. She's thrashed you too remember?" the blonde pouted.
Sakura giggled lifting her hand to cover her mouth and noticed Sauske sitting stiffly beside her. "Sauske?" she asked quietly.
He shrugged and then looked at Naruto. "Are we going to order or what?" he asked.
"Right! Ramen!" Naruto exclaimed punching the air. "We're celebrating today so bring it on!"
Sauske's nose wrinkled as he glanced across the bar at his blonde best friend who was shoving food into his mouth with speed that boggled the mind. It made him a little sick to his stomach and he quickly looked past the blue eyed boy to the one next to him that was as pale as the paper he painted on. He'd never really been sure of what to think about his 'replacement'. He'd heard that he was put with the team partially due to his similarity to himself. He watched as Sai made a comment about Naruto's manhood making the blonde blush and then threaten to beat him. Sakura just sighed in a way that told him that it happened often and then smacked them both telling them to be quiet and eat. He could see a little resemblance he supposed. The boy had dark hair, black eyes and like himself was a man of few words. It kind of irritated him to know that he'd been replaced at all though it was a terribly selfish thought and he knew it. He'd heard stories of their missions together and had even heard that the painter had suffered a broken arm and been poisoned by a giant spider while saving Sakura. His head lowered a little at the thought, what would've happened if Sai hadn't been there? Would Sakura have died? How different would his life turned out if the bubble gum haired girl had died in that cursed hole in the ground? He shook his head of the thoughts that he knew would lead to nothing but darkness and decided to just be grateful that the young man had been there for her while he'd been off chasing the demons of his past.
"So I was thinking, since you're off tomorrow, how about we all train together after Sakura gets done working with the kiddos?" Naruto suggested. "They'd probably learn a lot from watching us war heroes duke it out right?"
Sakura nodded. "That sounds like a good idea Naruto. I haven't had a good spar in weeks thanks to my ridiculous shifts at the hospital."
Naruto nodded. "I know. It doesn't help that you rush to and from work every day to avoid your fan club."
Sauske's eyes shifted to her at that comment and he noticed her blush before she laid her head down on the bar and groaned.
"Ugh! Don't remind me." She moaned.
"Fan club?" Sauske repeated.
Naruto glanced at him and nodded. "Yeah. She saved a lot of lives during the war and a lot of the guys she helped fell in love with her. Her mailbox is still pretty full of love confessions and a bunch of them like to wait for her before and after work to walk her home. She always turns them down of course."
Sauske's eyes narrowed slightly. He didn't know anything about that.
"Anyway, let's not talk about that." Sakura said raising her hands slightly. "So how has your training with Kakashi been going Naruto?" she asked.
"Oh that?" he replied with a sigh. "It's so boring. All I do is read papers all day."
As the blonde rattled off his list of boring tasks Kakashi made him do, Sauske's mind drifted back to the events just prior to their arrival at the ramen shop. Fangirls were, in the dark haired avenger's mind, some of the most annoying creatures in existence. The three village girls had nearly driven him crazy with their words that nearly dripped with sugary sweetness that all girls seemed to think boys went for. The blond was particularly irritating with her damned busy hands and snide comments towards his teammate. He'd been near the end of his rope when Kiba and Akamaru had shown up. At first he'd thought that maybe the pair had come to greet him and save him from the torture the three dim witted girls were putting him through, however, it turned out to be quite the opposite. How had he not seen it before? Seen the growing infatuation in the dark haired man's eyes as he talked with the green eyed medic, the nervous shifting of his feet, the blush that crept across his cheeks. He'd quickly discovered that watching another man flirt with Sakura was the only thing more annoying than having three girl's throw themselves at him. After all, he'd had years of practice dealing with annoying members of the opposite sex dealing with a love sick Sakura in their youth and clueless Karin after that. He shuddered at the thought of the red head. A few months after joining forces with her he'd realized that silly Sakura was far more tolerable than that clingy woman.
Watching Kiba with Sakura was a different experience though. It was more than just irritation, it was deeper than that, more consuming than that. Part of it even awakened the warrior in him sparking the desire to remove her from harm. It didn't make sense. Why did he care if she went with the dog trainer to eat?
"Sauske!" her voice finally reached him pulling him from his confounding train of thoughts.
"Yes?" he replied quickly.
"I was wondering if there was anything you needed to do today." She replied. "Naruto has to go back to work now."
He blinked. "Oh, right. I can't really think of anything." He replied quickly embarrassed that she'd caught him lost in thought.
"Ok. Then would you mind coming to the market with me? I need to pick up a couple of things for dinner." She said.
"I don't mind." He replied quickly. If he left her alone, she'd probably end up being hounded by more men.
"Great! It's settled then!" she said pushing away from the counter.
"Can I come for dinner?" Naruto asked his eyes wide with anticipation.
Sakura chuckled. "I don't mind but I think Hinata would." She replied. "Did you forget what day it is?"
The blond thought for a moment and scratched his head for a moment before his eyes widened and a blush crept up his cheeks. "That's right! It's Thursday which means…"
The pink haired woman nodded and winked. "That means your evening is spoken for. Have fun tonight, but not too much." She warned.
"Right." He replied with a sheepish smile. "Fine! Tomorrow on the training grounds then! See ya!" he said slamming the money on the counter before dashing off down the street.
Sai stood up and came closer to the two of them. "I take it things between Naruto and Hinata are going well?" he said watching the blonde bound out of the shop.
Sakura snickered. "Of course they are! I mean how could they go badly? She's been in love with him since they were kids. There's no way things could go wrong now that he's finally figured out his own feelings for her and though she might not seem like it, Hinata is tenacious. There's no way she'll let him go now."
Sauske blinked dumfounded. Naruto and Hinata were a couple? Just how much had changed in the year he'd been gone. More importantly, how had the blonde idiot gotten a girlfriend before he had? He'd thought the blue eyed boy would always be head over heels in love with Sakura.
"Would you mind if I came along with you to the market? I need to buy some more paint." Sai said as the three of them exited the shop.
"It's no problem." Sakura said as they made their way down the street. As they walked, Sauske found himself studying the people lining the streets. It was clear by the wide birth they were given that most of the people didn't trust him which was completely understandable given the way he'd acted in the past. They neared a familiar stand filled with flowers of all sorts and Sakura snickered confusing the onyx eyed avenger.
Sai glanced at his pink haired companion and blush immediately came to his cheeks as he took a step towards her. "Don't do it, Ugly." He threatened.
Sauske's brow wrinkled at the term. The man had to have guts and be as tough as nails to give Sakura a nickname like that and still be breathing.
His thoughts were cut short as Sakura cupped her hands around her mouth and shouted. "Hey pig! Get out here! I brought you a present!"
Ino stormed out of the shop and onto the street. "What are you yelling about forehead!?" she snapped before her eyes landed on Sai. Color quickly splashed across her face and she quickly dusted the dirt off of her apron and flipped her long blonde hair. "Oh, hello Sai." She said batting her eyelashes at the painter.
"Hello beautiful." He replied looking down at the ground and scratching at the corner of his mouth nervously.
Sauske's eyes widened. Ino had been one of his biggest fans growing up. Now she clearly had a thing for his 'replacement'. Part of him was relieved, while the other part of him was irritated. Just how much had changed while he'd been gone?
"Oh you're here too Sauske?" she said smiling at him.
He shook the brief temptation to pout. For the first time in his life, Ino was greeting him as an afterthought at he really wasn't sure what to think of that.
"Yes." He replied quickly. "How are you?"
"Good! The flower shop is doing well. How are your travels?"
"Good." He replied quickly.
She nodded and then quickly turned her attention back to Sai who was looking at a bunch of lilies. Ino moved closer to him and trailed a finger up his pale arm. "See something you like?" she asked her voice low.
Sai's face colored even more his cheeks bright red in contrast to his white skin. He swallowed hard and nodded. "Yes. I think I'll paint these." He replied quickly.
"I know something that would be much more interesting to paint than these." Ino said with a wink which only made the poor boy blush even brighter.
"Alrighty then!" Sakura exclaimed. "If you'll excuse me, I'm going to go puke now." She said walking away from the shop. "Have fun pig!" she called out with a wave.
"You too billboard brow!" Ino replied pulling Sai by the arm into the shop. "You better seal the deal with time!" she called after them.
Sauske's brow wrinkled in confusion and he glanced at his companion. What could Ino possibly mean by that? Sakura's face was bright red and a mixture of shock and anger which confused him further.
"I swear, I'm going to punch her and that big mouth of hers out of town one of these days." She snarled under her breath before she glanced up at him. "Ignore what she just said. She's just being obnoxious because she got a boyfriend before I did." She muttered.
"I see." He replied "How do you feel about it then?" he asked.
"Her and Sai?" she clarified. He nodded and she shrugged. "She can have him. They balance each other out pretty well actually. His stone coldness compliments her totally cattiness."
Sauske snorted. "So I take it you didn't get along with him initially just like Naruto?"
She tilted her head a little at his comment probably confused about when he'd learned that Naruto and Sai didn't get along at first but brushed it off and nodded. "Yeah. The first day we met, he called me ugly and the second day, I punched him in the face."
Sauske snorted imagining the scene in his mind. "I see. What did he do to warrant that?"
She looked down at the ground. "Well, he was picking on Naruto which was irritating enough on its own, but then…" she paused and then looked up at him. "Then he insulted you and… I don't know, I just got so angry. He didn't know anything about you except for that you'd left the village and joined Orochimaru but he kept talking like he knew everything about you when he didn't have a clue about what had really happened. I could tell that Naruto was about to lose it so I stopped him knowing that their relationship was already rocky enough as it was. I gave him one of my sweetest fake smiles and when he returned it like nothing had happened, like he didn't give a damn about how the rest of us felt, I let him have it."
Sauske's eyes widened and two feelings tangled around inside of him. Elation that he had come to his defense and sadness that he'd put her in that situation. "What happened after that?" he asked.
"Captain Yamato made a giant wooden cage with his wood style jutsu and threatened to throw the three of us in it if we didn't knock it off." She replied in a matter of fact tone.
His eyes widened. "Wow. That's aggressive." He replied trying to picture it in his mind. "He didn't actually do it, did he?"
"No. He took us to a hot spring instead and treated us to a feast afterwards. That smoothed things over pretty well. You know how Naruto is with food after all." She replied with a smile as she walked up to one of the vegetable stands. She scanned over the fresh produce and Sauske's eyes immediately focused on the red fruit in the middle. A few moments later, Sakura held a bag filled with fresh vegetables and he was surprised when she held out a tomato to him.
"Here." She said as she slipped it into his palm. "You still like these, right?"
He nodded as he took the fruit from her. "I'm surprised you remember." He admitted.
She smiled at him. "I remember pretty much everything when it comes to you." She replied.
He felt his heart stumble in his chest at her words and it pounded even harder when she blushed at her own words.
"Anyway!" she exclaimed trying to cover up her embarrassment. "I need to stop by an herb shop to stock up on medicinal herbs for my own private supply. Do you mind?"
He shook his head no and she breathed a little sigh of relief as they approached the small shop. He followed her inside and he glanced around wrinkling his nose a little at the mix of scents. Bundles of dried plants sat in boxes upon boxes and even larger bundles hung from the ceiling. He walked forward and fingered a dried stalk of lavender before setting it down and moving through the store. In all honesty, he couldn't make heads or tails of the plants strewn about the store and his attention was drawn to Sakura who moved quickly and efficiently across the store muttering to herself as she tossed bundles into her basket.
"You might want to stock up on eucalyptus oil." She said to the clerk as she carried her basket towards the cashiers table to pay. "With that new illness going around, it really helps to break up the congestion and I've sent patients home with instructions to use it in their follow up care."
"Thank you very much Lady Sakura." The owner, an older woman replied with a bow. "Your patronage here is truly a blessing from the Gods."
Sakura shook her head. "On no. Your garden is a blessing from the Gods. You have the best quality medicinal herbs in the village. A master is only as good as his instruments after all." She replied. "I'll be back again!" she called waving behind her. "Sorry that took so long. Are you ready to go?" she asked him.
Sauske nodded and glanced at the two bags she was carrying. He knew that there was no way she'd let him carry both, that just wasn't the kind of woman she was but, he could probably get away with taking one. Moving with inhuman speed, he reached out and grabbed the bag of vegetables from her hands smirking at the look of surprise on her face.
"What are you doing?" she asked as they walked out of the store. "I can carry that."
"Yes you can." He replied simply. She reached for the bag and he quickly tugged it out of her reach. "But so can I." She lunged at it again and he lifted it above his head smirking when she still tried to swipe at it.
"Give it back!" she demanded her eyes narrowing.
"How old are you?" he asked chuckling when her face turned red and she backed away.
"Fine! Carry it if you want!" she snapped.
"Gladly." He replied lowering it down to his side again.
"If there's nothing you need, we can probably head back to my place." She said.
He nodded in agreement and the pair made their way back down the busy street towards Sakura's little apartment. To his great relief, the rest of the day was fairly uneventful. They relaxed a little at her home and he was impressed by her large collection of books. Reading was a luxury he hadn't been able to afford over the past five or so years of his life due to his insane lifestyle and he was happy to dive in again. As he read, Sakura had busied herself in the kitchen putting something that smelled fantastic compared to the food he'd eaten while traveling into the oven before she moved to her desk in the living room and carefully recorded all of the herbs she collected and their quantities before sowing them away in stackable medicine boxes.
"You're quite organized." He remarked as he moved closer reading her notes over her shoulders. "You have everything recorded down to the gram."
She nodded. "I have to be. Being off by much more than that can be a catastrophe when making medicine." She opened a bottle and sniffed it lightly. She wrinkled her nose at the smell, raked her hair through her hair and sighed. "Darn it! That tea tree oil was harvested near the end of the rainy season which means the concentration of its medicinal components is off." She muttered making some adjustments to the notes recorded.
Sauske's eyes widened. "You can tell that just by smelling it?"
She nodded. "It's a very important skill to have but not one that can be learned by studying a book. People often times overlook their sense of smell but for a medical ninja, it's one of our most important senses. Poisons, toxins, even certain kind of infections can be identified by smell. It's also the fastest way to check liquid medicines." She explained as she closed the book and slipped it into the drawer of her desk. The timer on top of the oven went off and she quickly stood and strode towards the kitchen her arm brushing his as she did so. If he didn't know any better, he would've sworn that lightning went through his body at her touch. Since when did she have this kind of effect on him? He wondered as she squatted in front of the oven and pulled out the meat roasting there.
"Done." She said with satisfaction as she pulled the dish from the rack and laid it on the hot pot holding on the kitchen counter. "Sauske! Dinner is ready." She called out brightly. He nodded and moved into the kitchen as she dished up the meal. He sat down at her little table and noticed a plate with sliced tomatoes near the middle and snatched one popping it into his mouth and savoring its sweetness. He wasn't a fan of sweets and sugar but tomatoes were just the right mix of sweet and sour for him. Sakura set down a plate in front of him and he nodded in thanks as she sat down across from him. "Eat as much as you like." She encouraged him as she started into her own plate.
He nodded and began to eat once again thankful he was eating better than he did on the road. After they both finished, she picked up their plates and moved to the sink to begin washing them. As he watched her, something stirred inside of him as she worked with her back to him her shoulder length hair swaying with the movement of her body. He stood and moved towards her and reached out lightly lifting a lock of hair feeling it's smoothness against his finger and studying the contrast of the pink against his own pale skin. His mind went back several years to the chunin exams when Sakura had been left alone to defend her teammates against the sound ninjas. He remembered waking up with darkness pulsing through his veins and immediately noticed that the waist length hair that she'd been so proud of scattered on the forest floor. His eyes had focused on her body then his vision enhanced with the sharringan and recorded every bruise, every scratch, and every gash on her body. Rage had overtaken him then. His frustration at not being able to protect someone else close to him and his need to make that person suffer clouded all of his senses as he spoke her name. "Sakura. Who did this to you?" he'd demanded blind to the fear in her eyes. He'd made the one responsible pay dearly for his crimes against his teammate and just when he was about to finish the job, she'd run to him, wrapped her arms around him and pleaded with him to stop. He'd seen it then, the fear in her eyes. Not fear of him but fear of what he was doing. He'd lost himself and she'd pulled him back in that annoying way of hers with those damn tears that always made him feel things he didn't want to. Looking back, he realized that those tears were the very reason he'd left her behind. The selfish part of him the desired only power and revenge wouldn't be able to flourish with her by his side and he knew it. Her light would always appear to drive away the darkness he wanted so badly, it had been so annoying to him then. Now he realized that in her own way, she'd been protecting him even more so than he'd ever protected her.
"Sauske?" her voice startled him and he blinked when he realized that he'd unconsciously moved closer to her while his thoughts had ran wild and he was now only millimeters away from being pressed up against her back her hair still in his hands. "Is something wrong?"
"No." he said stepping back and letting the hair slip from his fingers. "I was just lost in thought."
"Want to talk about it?" she asked as she dried her hands on a towel and moved towards the refrigerator to pull out a bottle of iced coffee.
He shrugged and studied her as she opened the bottle and lifted it to her lips drinking deeply from the glass container. A little drop of the brown liquid slipped from the corner of her lip and he watched the trail it made down towards her chin. A sudden desire gripped him then and in that moment, he wanted to follow that same path with his tongue right up to her lips that were now parted as she pulled the glass away.
"What?" she asked once again shaking him from his little daydream.
"Nothing." He stammered cursing his voice for being so shaky. "I just didn't know you drank coffee." He said trying to regain his composure.
"Oh." She replied capping the bottle and replacing it in the fridge. "I guess I started drinking it after you left. Lady Tsunade is a great teacher but she's anything but soft on her students. She ran me into the ground the first couple of months and I figured out pretty quickly that tea just wasn't going to cut it as far as giving me the energy I needed." She said as she moved to her living room.
"Why did you go that far?" he asked as she knelt in front of her book shelf her fingers brushing over the thick volumes of medical journals.
"What do you mean?" she asked as she selected one and moved to sit on the couch but didn't open it focusing her eyes on him instead as he sat down as well settling into the corner opposite hers.
"Why did you train under Lady Tsunade instead of Shizune or someone else?" he clarified.
Sakura put the book down on the coffee table and her eyes drifted upwards as she braced her hands on the table and rested her head in her hands. "For a very long time I felt like a complete failure." She said softly. "I was a genin but I was completely useless. I was always relying on everyone else to protect me. Whenever there was a fight I was always the one standing in the back watching from a safe distance while everyone else shed blood." She bent her head. "In the end I couldn't even protect myself let alone the ones that mattered most to myself. I was so weak, I couldn't even keep the person I claimed to love so much from leaving." She sighed. "After that, I kind of went into a dark place, hating myself more and more each day. Blaming myself for being such a weak person, believing I wasn't worthy to be a part of the team. Naruto left the village soon after you did to train and I was left alone rotting in my self-pity. Kakashi noticed and introduced me to Lady Tsunade and suggested I train under her. I saw how strong she both on and off the battlefield and liked how she didn't take crap from anyone no matter how much stronger they were than her. I just wanted to be like her, I wanted to be strong enough to stand beside Naruto and help him bring you back instead of just being a burden." She turned away from him and her voice quieted so much he had to strain to hear it. "I wanted to be strong enough to stand by your side when you finally came back to the village."
His eyes widened. Sakura had always been so confident and headstrong when they were younger and even now. The thought of her being consumed by self-loathing boggled his mind. He made a mental note to ask Kakashi about the 'dark place' she'd mentioned before as he studied her. Her posture told him everything he wanted to know, she still felt inferior to him and Naruto. She was part of the legendary three shinobi who had been the deciding force that turned the war in their favor and she still doubted herself. He chewed on his lip as he recognized that he was responsible for at least part of that doubt. How often had she reached out to him offering him everything? How many times did he push her away and throw her weakness in her face? It was only natural that she'd doubt herself after what he'd put her through.
"Sorry." He said softly.
"For what?" she replied looking at him.
"Everything." He replied.
"You've already apologized for that." She reminded him with a little smile. "And I've already forgiven you."
He internally screamed at himself as he saw the sincerity in her eyes. She'd forgiven him for everything, he was sure of it. He wanted to make it up to her somehow. Wouldn't that be part of his redemption? Giving back to the woman he'd probably made suffer the most? What could he possibly do for her now? He wanted to make her happy. She deserved it after all of the pain he'd put her through. He also knew that she loved him still and that nothing would make her happier than him reciprocating those feelings. Part of him wanted to desperately. To shower her with affection and love and wash away all of the wounds in her heart. He'd been the one to make them after all. However that same road would lead to his happiness, something he knew he didn't deserve. The emotions clashed within him and he wanted to scream in frustration.
"So," Sakura said seeming to sense his darkening mood. "Did I ever tell you about the time that Naruto and I were pulled into another world? It seemed just like this one but it was so different at the same time."
He raised an eyebrow at that. "What do you mean?" he asked.
"Well, it was crazy. Tobi did it to us. It was crazy! Kiba hated dogs, Ino was sweet and Hinata was insane! She nearly killed me for looking at Naruto and you…" she shook her head. "You were a total playboy. Your fangirls would've loved it."
He blinked at the thought. He couldn't imagine it. Him a play boy? Kiba hating dogs?
She smiled. "It was so weird. Itachi actually saved me while we were there."
His late brother's name caught his attention. "Itachi?"
She nodded. "Yeah. I was kidnapped by Naruto's doppelganger and he rescued me. Literally swept me up into his arms and carried me to safety."
He tilted his head to the side at her words. He briefly wondered how she and Itacahi would really get along if his older brother had survived. He listened to her story and found it fascinating as she explained the events that unfolded. He had to admit that he'd nearly choked on the tea he was drinking when she told him about how Lee snuck into the bathhouse and stole Tenten's underwear. His face fell a little as she explained how he acted in the alternate world. Even in that place he'd made her sad. When she finished, it was close to dusk and she glanced at the clock stifling a yawn.
"Oh dear. I'm tired." She muttered. "I better head to bed soon since I'm supposed to help with Kiba's squad tomorrow."
"Right." He replied. He wasn't thrilled at the idea of her spending time with the dog trainer, but he could use the opportunity to talk with Kakashi before joining her, Naruto and Sai for training.
"Good night Sauske." She said flashing him a brilliant smile before she vanished into her bedroom.
He laid down on the futon she'd laid out for him and stared up at the ceiling. These feelings of his were overwhelming. He didn't know what to do with them. It was foreign for him to not know what to do in the face of adversity. It occurred to him that it was his total lack of experience in the realm of feelings and emotions. For years he'd been quick to toss his feelings aside, to bury them deep so that they couldn't surface and distract him from his goals. Now he was paying for it. Eventually he drifted to sleep with his thoughts and feelings still in chaos as he thought about the woman sleeping a wall away from him.
"Sauske, I love you. I always have, always will." Sakura said standing before him dressed in red and white her hair ruffled by the gentle breeze blowing past. Sauske stared at her allowing himself to be totally consumed by the moment, something unheard of for him. He'd denied his feelings for her long enough. He stepped forward and reached out to her tapping her on the forehead with his fingertips before he trailed his fingers down the side of her face and tipped her face up towards his. He heard her breath catch in her throat, saw the blush feather across her cheeks and felt her pulse race. All of her reactions thrilled him, spurred him forward. Only he made her feel this way, he was certain of it just like she was the only one that made him feel this way. He lowered his mouth towards hers, his eyes never leaving her face as her eyes closed and her lips parted in anticipation. He closed his own eyes just before their lips met and then gasped as he felt something hot, and wet in his hand and Sakura's grunt of pain. His eyes flew open and he gapped in horror at the sight of his own hand clutching the heart of the woman in front of him his arm buried to the elbow in her chest as blood seeped through his clothes and dripped down to the ground below.
"Why?" Sakura gasped her green eyes dulling with each passing second. "Why Sauske? All I ever did was love you."
"No! It can't be!" he exclaimed as he pulled his arm back and gripped her shoulder. "I would never-"
"But you did." A familiar voice spoke from behind him. He turned and found himself face to face with a darker version of himself, one he recognized from the time that Orochimaru place the curse mark on him. The doppelganger grinned at the look of horror on his face. "Don't you remember?" the dark one said tilting his head to the side. "I know I do. The look of shock on her face was fantastic. Too bad Kakashi got in our way."
"Shut up!" he shouted at the darker version of himself. "I… I was so lost… I…"
"Excuses!" the dark one shouted back. "You wanted to rid the world of its light and drag it into the darkness that consumed you, but that annoying little girl was a spec of light in your black hole of an existence so you wanted to destroy her."
"I said shut up!" he snarled clutching at his head. "Get out of my head!"
"I'm not going anywhere." The dark one replied. "I am a part of you after all." He said in a matter of fact tone. "Who are you to think that you can make her happy when you're the source of her pain? All of the tears she shed for you, all of the blood she bled for you…"
"Stop it!" he snarled. "I said get out!"
The dark man chuckled. "Fine, whatever you say. It doesn't change the fact that her blood is still on your hands." He said as he faded away.
Sauske pulled his hands from his head and stared at them his hands trembling as he saw the blood there staining his skin. He sat up and stumbled to the kitchen sink and turned the tap letting the water flow. He went to work scrubbing his hands the faces of his victims flying through his head as he worked. He'd killed his brother, the brother that loved and protected him. He'd attempted to kill Kakashi, his sensei, the one who taught him the shinobi way that he'd lost sight of as he chased his vendetta blindly. His best friend Naruto he'd nearly killed twice when all he'd been doing was try to save him from himself. Sakura, the girl who had never stopped loving him in spite of all of the pain and suffering he caused her and everyone around him. What had he done? How could he ever rid himself of the blood on his hands?
"Sauske! Sauske stop it!" a voice cried cutting through the madness. He blinked and found himself up against the wall, small but strong arms on his shoulders and green eyes shimmering with moisture staring up at him.
"What?" he asked confused at her pained expression.
"Your hands." She murmured.
He looked down at his hands and was surprised to see that they were both bright red and raw blood seeping from a few places.
"Sauske, what's wrong?" Sakura asked her eyes reflecting concern, worry, and love back at him. The vision of his hand through her chest and the feel of her blood came flooding back to him and he immediately felt ill.
"It's fine." He replied quickly turning away. "Don't worry about it."
"It's not fine!" she protested taking one of his hands in her own. "You were hurting yourself!" she said as her hands glowed green soothing the stinging sensation and repairing the damaged skin.
"I said it's fine so stop!" he snarled yanking his hands from her grip and stepping away from him. "You're so annoying!" he regretted the words the moment they left his mouth as her eyes widened the tears welling there spilled and her mouth closed even as her body trembled. He cursed himself again for making her cry and balled his sore hands into fists before he took a step towards her and reached out hating himself even more when she shied away from his hand. His fingers tensed and then continued forward as he laid his hand on the top of her head. "Please don't look at me like that." He murmured. "I'm sorry. These demons of mine are my own. There's no reason for you to know about them."
"Will you knock it off!?" she snapped through her tears surprising him when she threw herself against his chest her hands balling into fists. "You're always like this! Shutting everyone else out! Carrying your burdens alone! Suffering alone!" she slammed her fists against his chest knocking him back a step as her tears continued to flow. "Please! Share your burdens with me! Let me in!" she fisted her hands in his shirt and buried her head in his chest. "I'm begging you." She whimpered. "I carry them already, I just don't know what they are. I hate seeing you suffer like this. Please…"
He stood frozen as her body trembled against his. He didn't know what to say, or what to feel. Part of him was so desperate to reach out to her and let her in but he knew that she deserved much more than he could offer. "Sakura." He said softly. "I… I don't deserve to be happy after everything I've done, I don't deserve your love."
He yelped as she suddenly moved slamming them both to the floor. He winced and hissed as stars exploded before his eyes. "Sakura!"
"Shut up!" she snapped. "What kind of ridiculous thinking is that?!" she demanded pinning his arms down with her own and straddling his chest. He tried to move but couldn't. Curse her monster strength. "Do you really think that Naruto and I went through all of those years of hell just so that you could torture yourself for the rest of your life?! We did it because we wanted you to be safe and happy damn it! Are you going to throw away all of our years of hard work away just like that?!"
He blinked in surprise at her words and the fierceness in her eyes and voice despite the tears that still continued to flow.
"If you want to make up for what you did in the past then go ahead, but stop thinking you don't deserve happiness! And who I love is up to me and me alone. It doesn't matter if you think you deserve it or not got it?" she snapped.
He opened his mouth to argue and then closed it again when he saw the dangerous glint in her eyes. Instead he just sighed and then held out his hands to her. She shifted off of him and took them in her own and held them as green light flowed from her hands into his own soothing the pain in his hands. When she was satisfied with her work, she stood and offered him her hand pulling him to his feet. "Sauske-" She began but he held up a hand to quiet her.
"Thank you." He said softly he took her hand in his and held it gently. "I need some time to get my thoughts together but, when I'm ready to talk will you listen?"
She smiled at him and nodded. "Of course." She replied. "Do you want a sleep aid? It might help."
He shook his head. "No I'll be fine." He reached forward and tapped her lightly on the forehead. "Goodnight Sakura. I'll see you in the morning."
She nodded and walked into the bedroom leaving him behind. He walked to the window and looked up at the stars winking in the darkness. His thoughts drifted between the pink haired woman with him and the dark haired man that had left him. He lifted his hand and tapped himself in the forehead as he thought. "Itachi." he murmured. "What should I do? Is ok for me to act on these feelings of mine for Sakura?"
Only the silence answered him and he sighed turning away from the stars and laid back down. He glanced at the clock and cursed when he saw that it was three in the morning. It was going to be a very long night.