A/N I've come to the conclusion there are so many edible greek products (suggested by my lovely reviewers) that could be used as bait. Alas, here is a short chapter dedicated to those faithful people who have commented on my work, and especially Socially Awkward Taco and warriors1011for the ideas inspiring this chapter.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters, events or settings from PJO.

HEADS UP: IF WE REACH 80 REVIEWS, THE NEXT CHAPTER WILL CENTER AROUND SOME MAJOR SOLANGELO! (solangelo + torturing octavian = perfection)

Octavian was convinced he was dead. A peaceful darkness loomed around him, the gentle trickling of waterfalls filled his ears and he was feeling pleased with the fact that his heroic death in a battle against the ocean must have lead to the roman legion declaring war on the greek camp. (For the record, the two camps were currently holding a fiesta and bathing themselves in greek yogurt to celebrate. But Octavian didn't need to know that.)

Then Octavian heard the laughter. Not his majestic manly laughter, not Reyna's psychopathic giggles, not even the Venus spawns' screeches. No. This laughter was soft and feminine, beckoning him to open his eyes.

He was greeted with the sight of a lush oasis. Palm trees lulled lazily in the breeze, a crystal clear waterfall ran smoothly and he found himself in a (very) comfortable hammock. Around him, beautiful naiads were gathered, diving into the pools of water, talking amongst themselves and fanning him with giant leaves. He knew he was a chick magnet, but what. What. What.

"He's awake!" A redhead cried out as his eyelids flickered around the scene, causing everyone to stop and turn towards him.

Octavian was startled as the naiads abruptly ran around, putting cutlery on a large table that was dragged in by a beautiful brunet. He was hauled by a dark-haired girl into a seat at one of the ends. Soon, the table was covered in plates bearing elegant salads, and pitchers full of alluring lemonade. His mouth watered.

When was the last time I ate? A few hours after I died? Am I dead?

He heard the naiads laugh, and flushed (internally, of course. Proper romans are never embarrassed.) as he realized he had said his last thought out loud.

"No, augur, you are not dead," a blond naiad at the other head of the table announced, her fingers weaving flowers into her braided crown. "I am Odessa, and my friends and I found you submerged in the river bed close to here. But fear not, you have not perished by the ocean's hand."

"Yet,"A naiad with light brown hair whispered, and the naiads laughed as their eyes twinkled with a scary determination. Octavian was too busy ogling at the food to notice.

A ginger naiad approached him. "May I serve you, my Lord?"

Octavian puffed up his chest, and arranged his face into an expression of manly indifference. "I suppose," he drawled.

Soon, crystal glasses glimmered with lemonade and plates were coated with layers of salad. Just as Octavian was ready to dig in, the head naiad put up her hand.

"Roman, we have a chant we must repeat before we eat. You may simply listen, but at the end you must say bow to the food and proclaim that you accept the chant. Do you understand?"

Octavian nodded hastily, his stomach really wanting the food at this point. And then the naiads began to sing.

~TRANSLATION~

Ω θεοί , ακούω μας άσμα (Oh gods, hear us chant.)

Ω θεοί , ακούω αλαζονικό μας (Oh gods, hear our rant.)

Για καραδοκεί στο τραπέζι μας (For lurking at our table)

Είναι το ρωμαϊκό νομίζαμε μύθος (Is the roman we thought fable.)

Στην πραγματικότητα μπορούμε (In truth, we thought him a story,)

Ηλιθιότητα συνέθεσαν ιστορίες της δόξας (His idiocy composed tales of glory.)

Γι 'αυτό εκπίπτει ως λύση (So we deduct as a solution.)

Καταδικάζοντας τον σε εκτέλεση (Condemning him to execution.)

At the end of their song, they all turned towards Octavian.

"Yes, yes," he said, bowing pathetically at the salad. "I accept the chant, blah blah I WANT FOOD!"

At that, everyone began to eat. Octavian was so absorbed into his food that he paid no mind to the occasional giggles at his oblivion to their greek chant, or to the food he was shoveling into his mouth. Finally, the food disappeared, and Odessa announced he was to depart.

"Noble roman," she began (ignoring the not-so-subtle coughs behind her). "It is time to send you back to your comrades. We will provide you with a boat, and you may sail back to the greek shore."

At this Octavian looked up harshly. "A boat? I hate the ocean! It's... It's so greek! It's big. It's ugly. I mean, have you seen what lives down there? My eyes are bleeding just thinking about it!" Octavian ranted, not paying attention to the naiads (ocean-born naiads) that were starting to sharpen weapons or kill him with their eyes.

At this, they slowly started to advance towards him.

"There is some information we'd like to bring to your attention," Odessa began, pulling out a sharp sword-fish bill.

"To start," the redhead muttered, "We are greek ocean naiads."

Octavian paled as they (and their weapons) took a step forwards.

"Secondly," the brunet said. "We've been feeding you greek salad and Calypso lemonade."

Octavian paled and hurled in the boat.

"Thirdly," the dark-haired naiad interrupted, "You agreed to our greek chant about condemning you to execution.

Octavian paled. And paled. And screamed in a very inroman manner as they shoved him into the little boat and left him stranded in the in the sea, just close enough to see the beach of Camp Halfblood.

The naiads partied late into the night.

"Odessa," the redhead asked. "We got that on camera, right?"

Odessa sent her a smile. "Of course, darling! Nothing ever happens here. I'm thinking of using it as possible movie material on a rainy day."

"And we sent a copy to Juniper? So they can play it at the greek camp?" The brunet inquired.

Odessa nodded. "Including the extra footage of him deliriously muttering about chapped lips."

A/N AS I SAID, MAKE IT TO 80 REVIEWS AND A SOLANGELO CHAPTER SHALL BE COMPRISED.

REVIEW OR OCTAVIAN WAS SIMPLY HALLUCINATING THIS ENCOUNTER!