A/N Over 100 reviews! Thanks, guys! I know you are all anxious for some wonderful Octavian torture, so lets get on with it. A big thanks to both Half-blood DNA and purplicouspolkadot. REVIEWS MERIT OCTAVIAN TEARS.
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters, events or settings from PJO.
Octavian may have screamed when his chicken noodle soup turned into a god. To be fair, he was already on edge, as the weather was strange (the heat was utterly scorching and he could have sworn he saw shadows laughing at the sun, but then again, he was rather dehydrated.) And most people aren't prepared when your comforting dinner food turns into a deity. But, really, who could be sure he screamed?
"Octavian," Apollo said in a emotionless tone, sunburning a few romans who attempted to eavesdrop, "I have a quest for you."
Octavian puffed up like a little bird. "An extremely important quest, I presume," the legacy said, already imagining the tales of his journey.
"Very much so," Apollo said tightly. He burnt another roman to quench his anger.
"And, pray tell, what would this quest be?" Octavian said.
Apollo winced. "Well, it's a long story."
(linebreak)
"...And that's when we're going to sacrifice you to our gods tonight, greek scum," Octavian chattered happily. Behind him, Will sighed tiredly. To be fair, this was a (very) difficult day. How many half-bloods need to complete (nearly) impossible quests for permission to date someone's son? And if that wasn't bad enough, it needed to be the God of Death. Wonderful. And Apollo wasn't making this any easier; was the only way he could convince Octavian to walk around San Francisco with him to tell him the Greeks had sacrificed one of their own to the Romans for a ritual? In Octavian's disturbed little mind, he was bringing Will around the city to point out all the little things in life that make Rome Superior ("See the planets in the sky? Those are named after roman gods, greek scum." "Dude, it's two in the afternoon. We shouldn't be able to see the planets. And didn't you know space doesn't exist? It's just the Mist." "Shut up, greek scum.). And, he believed that at four, he was going to get to sacrifice the greek to the gods. Really, it was a great day. Even if the sun was giving him a bit of a sunburn.
Will spied Pandora at the end of the street. As Octavian pratted along, Will stayed silent, until...
"Hey Roman, what about that store?"
Octavian looked up, turning to face the jewelry store. "That's Pandora," he spat, moving onto the edge of the sidewalk, as far as he could be from the chain. "You probably know the story; your greek gods were stupid, they made a stupid box filled with stupid stuff and then, my favorite part of the story, a stupid greek opened the stupid box and gave the world all the stupid-"
An angry scream echoed from the store, and the ground of San Francisco began to shake.
"THAT. IS. BLOODY. IT!" Someone, something yelled, and all Will and Octavian recalled was the darkness and falling.
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When the boys woke up, they weren't in San Francisco. They were in a large cavern, utterly gleaming with earrings, necklaces, bracelets and brooches, organized in mounds all across the floor. In the center of the cavern was a jar-the largest jar they had ever seen.
"I'm a pithos," the jar muttered angrily, startling the boys. "Honestly, can anyone bother to get my name right? They remember Pandora, of course, but I'm just the box. The jar. I hate humanity."
"Always place faith in mortals, pithos," A voice said from inside the massive jar, taking the form of a faint glow.
"Shut up, Hope."
"And really, you can hardly complain when you don't get my name right," the glow sighed.
"Well, Elpis is a stupid name," the jar retorted.
Will coughed. "Um, where are we? he asked.
"Pandora's factory, half-blood," Hope chimed. "It's here she makes all the jewelry for her jewelry chain."
"And brings back people to kill," the jar added. This seemed to make Octavian jolt awake.
"Kill me? Kill me? Who does she think she is? She's nothing more than a foolish mortal that-"
"ARE THEY AWAKE YET?" A voice roared from somewhere. "CAUSE I NEED TO RANT AT THEM!"
The jar looked amused. "Yes, P."
And then, out from a pile of golden rings, came Pandora. She wasn't what the half-bloods were expecting, like a troll or big goblin. She was simply a normal sized mortal, with brown hair cascading down her back and eyes that screamed murder.
"Hello, half-bloods," Pandora said, glaring menacingly at them. "Do you know why you're here?"
Octavian was ready to leave. "Foul mortal, I demand you let us return at once! We have no time to waste on foolish girls like yourself-"
Pandora screamed, and the floor began to shake violently. "OH, BLOODY ORIGINAL. PANDORA, YOU FOOL. PANDORA, YOU STUPID MORTAL. WHY WOULD YOU OPEN THE JAR AND UNLEASH MISERY ON MORTALS? WHAT DID THE GODS EXPECT? ME TO LIVE MY LIFE NOT KNOWING WHAT WAS IN THE JAR?"
She screamed some more, causing the ground to continue shaking.
"I'VE TRIED TO SALVAGE MY NAME, STARTED A SUCCESSFUL COMPANY TO START MY LIFE AGAIN, BUT NO ONE CAN GET PAST THE FACT I OPENED THAT JAR! WE'VE ALL DONE STUPID THINGS! ALL OF US!"
Meanwhile, Will sneaked towards the pile of rings, looking desperately for a skull one. Octavian, however, did not like being told he had done stupid things.
"I don't have time for this mortal! Go and mess up the world some more!"
That did it. One second, Pandora was a normal, bloodthirsty human, the next, she had disappeared, and the pile of necklaces began to melt.
"Oh, he's done it now," the jar said, and inched away.
The metals then began to take on a shape. Slowly, the crept up, until the streams of gold, bronze and silver formed a giant snake. Octavian rolled his eyes.
"Impressive," he said sarcastically. Only to scream when the snake hissed and lunged at him.
Will had been able to remain awfully oblivious to the disaster during his hunt for the ring. And then he saw it, it, lying right next to the jar. The skull ring. He ran towards it.
Several things happened at once. The snake shot towards Octavian, swiping necklaces, earrings and unfortunately running half-bloods across the floor. On the positive side, Will flew several feet it the air, and landed exactly where he was headed. On the negative side, he smashed right into the jar, which shattered under the pressure. The cavern went silent.
"YOU. BROKE. THE. JAR." Pandora reappeared, looking fragile as she looked upon the ruins of her pithos. "THE. JAR. THAT. HOLDS. MY. ONLY. REDEEMING. POSSESSION."
"Oh please," Octavian added. "That thing was as hideous as your face."
And, as the snake closed in to devour Octavian, Hope (now free) grabbed Will and the skull ring before Pandora could smite them. There's no hope for the roman, Elpis decided.
(line break)
All was normal on Olympus. The sun was warm and sunny, death was brooding, and all the Olympians were smiling as Will tossed the skull ring at Hades.
"B-but..." Hades stumbled. "How did you do it?"
Will smiled innocently and went to kiss Nico. Somewhere far away, Octavian was yelling as he was eaten by a metal snake.
REVIEWS MEAN OCTAVIAN TEARS! GREEK IDEAS ALSO MAKE HIM CRY!