Right so this chapter is after "Retaliation" but it's not really based completely on that because I got a diffrent idea for this chapter, and decided to run with it instead, hope you like it.

It's December 2009, Emily's 39 and Hotch is 44.
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"To live in hearts we leave behind is not to die." – Thomas Campbell, "Hallowed Ground"
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It had been a long month in the Hotchner household, but things were finally starting to get back to normal... if not slowly.

Emily awoke sorely, to find Hotch's face staring down at her from her right, a mixture of worry and love on his face.

"You know I'm not going to disappear if you look away." Emily told him lovingly, as she reached her good hand up and stroked his cheek.

"Yea, well I'm not taking that chance." Hotch replied, as he grabbed her hand and kissed the palm. "I mean I take a month off and then on my first case back you go and land yourself in hospital." He scolded her.

"I wasn't badly hurt... I was out so fast you didn't even get to visit me in hospital." She joked.

"Yes, well I don't care, I'm insisting on making you breakfast in bed." He told her.

"No!" Emily replied quickly. "You know I like to make Jack French Toast at the weekends." She told him.

"Emily you were in a car crash two days ago... I think one weekend without your amazing breakfast won't kill him." Hotch told her.

"Yes, but I want to." Emily replied. "It's the only thing that gets him out of his room at all on the weekends." She added, referring to the fact that Jack still spent most of his time in his room... though he didn't sleep as much as he used to, his mothers face now being replaced by Foyet's in the nightmares he had.

"Fine..." Hotch sighed, knowing that she was right. "But you're resting for the rest of the day."

"Yes doctor." Emily replied cheekily, before leaning up and capturing his lips softly and lovingly.

~.~.~.~.~.~

Emily winced as she reached up to the top shelf to grab a plate... obviously the bruising on her ribs hadn't gotten any better overnight.

"Hey, stop right there!" Hotch commanded, as he walked into the kitchen, now wearing a pair of light jeans and an old t-shirt. "I said you could make French toast, but I said nothing about letting you stretch."

"Oh for god sakes Aaron I'm fine!" Emily huffed, stepping aside and letting him take down the plate anyway. "Where is Jack anyway?" She questioned.

"He's in his room getting dressed." Hotch told her. "If you go and get him I can serve this... and stop you injuring yourself further." He added.

Emily stuck out her tongue but left the kitchen anyway, heading down the hall and stopping at Jacks room to knock on the door, knowing that the little boy didn't like people coming into his room without knocking first, because in his nightmares it was Foyet who came in.

"Jack honey it's me... do you want a hand getting dressed for breakfast?" Emily called through the door.

"No Emmy, I'm ok." Jack replied, before the door swung open and the young boy emerged.

What he was wearing caused Emily to gasp.

"Honey, you can't wear that." Emily told him, looking down at the t-shirt the young boy was wearing with 'super hero mom' written on the front of it, with a superman sign in the middle.

"Why not Emmy?" Jack asked in confusion. "Mommy got if for me when we were on our adventure." He added sadly.

Emily was about to reply, telling him that his dad might not want to see the t-shirt yet, when she heard footsteps behind her and knew it was too late.

"Hey, the French toast is getting c..." Hotch started, but he stopped when he spotted his sons t-shirt.

"Jack... why don't you go and put on your spider man t-shirt." Emily whispered to Jack, as she sensed Hotch tense up behind her, even without looking.

"But..." Jack started sadly.

"Please baby, then you can get French toast." Emily bargained, hoping it would work.

"Kay." Jack replied, before running back into his room and shutting the door tightly behind him.

Emily turned to face Hotch, but found that he was no longer standing behind her, so she walked slowly back to the kitchen, checking all other rooms on the way, finding him standing at the sink washing dishes.

"Uh... breakfast is uh, getting cold." Hotch said absently once he sensed Emily behind him, never taking his eyes off the dishes as he spoke.

Emily ignored this however, instead pulling the dishes out of his hand and leading him gently to the seats around the table, where she eased him down and sat beside him.

"It's ok you know." Emily whispered.

"What? Breakfast getting cold?" Hotch tried to joke, but his smile didn't quite reach his eyes as he spoke.

"It's ok to miss her." Emily clarified as she reached out her hand and grabbed Hotch's larger one.

"I'm fine." Hotch replied, pulling his hand away quickly and standing up again.

Emily sighed as she watched him walk away quickly to his room... she wanted to follow him, but it was at that moment that Jack reappeared.

"I'm ready for breakfast now!" Jack exclaimed, pointing to his spider man t-shirt to clarify that he was in fact ready.

"Well then, come and sit beside me and we can tuck in." Emily replied with a smile, in what she hoped was a happy voice, as her thoughts remained on Hotch.

~.~.~.~.~.~

Emily sighed as she moved through the apartment, picking up laundry. It had now been almost an hour since Hotch had stormed off to his room, and he hadn't remerged since.

Once she reached their bedroom door she dropped the laundry basket she'd been holding and stepped inside, looking around in the semi darkness and spotting Hotch sitting on the edge of the bed.

"You promised her you'd spend the rest of your life making it up to her and Jack." Emily said after a moment of silence.

"Bit late now." Hotch snapped back bitterly.

"Really? Have you died?" Emily asked, keeping her voice level even though all she wanted to do was lose her temper and shout at him for shutting her out again.

"You know what I mean Emily." He shot back coldly, feeling anger ride in him.

"No Aaron... Actually I don't." Emily replied.

Hotch turned to face Emily now, rage evident on his face from the little light that filtered into the room through the blinds, and from the hall.

"She's dead Emily... I failed, and now instead of making it up to her like I promised, I have to spend the rest of my life thinking of how things could have been different... how I could have made the deal, and made this all go away... but I didn't." He finished, his voice laced with regret and anger.

"See that's where you're wrong." Emily replied, once she was sure he'd said his part. "You can make it up to her, you remember what she told you right?" Emily asked, already knowing the answer would be yes.

"Of course I do... how am I supposed to forget." Hotch replied, still bitter.

"She made you promise to tell Jack how you met, and how you made her laugh, how you weren't always serious and to make sure that that little boy always believed in love." Emily told him as she stepped closer. "So you can still make it up to her every day for the rest of your life, because that's all she wanted... for Jack to grow up safe, happy and loved." She finished.

Hotch looked at her briefly, before looking away again, fighting the urge to cry.

"I know you're not ready to be reminded of her yet." Emily added. "But Jack needs to remember, and I didn't know her well enough to tell him... it needs to be you... and I'm not saying that you need to talk to him today, or tomorrow, or even this year... but you will at some stage, so you need to be ready."

"I can do that." Hotch whispered in reply, as he wrapped his arms around Emily's shoulders and held her close. "I promise I can do that." He whispered softly into her hair.

Emily simply nodded into his t-shirt, having said all she needed to say, now just hoping it got through to him.

~.~.~.~.~

Three days later Emily sighed as she yet again trolled the apartment for dirty laundry... a job she always seemed to get landed with.

She stopped at Jacks door and was about to knock when she heard voices come from inside the room. She rested the basket against her hip and leaned in closer so she could hear the conversation within the room.

"Daddy do I have to get rid of my super mom t-shirt?" Emily heard Jack ask.

Emily's breath hitched as she awaited the reply from Hotch.

"No buddy... you can keep it... " Hotch replied.

"But it makes you sad." Jack replied.

"No buddy... it just reminds me of your mom... and at the moment that makes me kind of sad, but you can keep it." Hotch told him.

Emily smiled as she lifted her face away from the door... Hotch was still a long way of being cured of his guilt, but he was certainly heading in the right direction, and that, for now was enough.
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Ok so that was another sad chapter, but I've got a few good ones to come! Tell me what you thought. =)