O N E.

Falling into History

clare.

'I think I'd rather die in place of someone I love. It seems like a nice way to go; knowing that the person is still safe and alive, comforted by the idea of my noble end.'

I rolled my eyes and and chucked my copy of Fortnight across my grandmother's guest bedroom.

"Doesn't she understand how stupid she sounds? What about the fact that now she's dead, and that the person that loves her has to deal with the fact that she's never coming back." I muttered bitterly to myself, glaring at the offending piece of literature that was now dangling precariously off of one end of the vanity against the opposite wall.

It had been four days since the infamous Vegas Night catastrophe. Four days since I had stared my own mortality in the face and seen it reflected back at me in the glint of a steel knife. Four days since I had been exiled to Kingston while my parents made a futile attempt to "work things out." Four days since I had almost lost Eli Goldsworthy when I had barely had the chance to discover him.

Four days, ten hours, and forty-five minutes.

I was over being sad. At this point I was just angry. Angry that this had to happen to me, and that in a way, it was my fault. If I had just stopped trying to be the peacemaker, I never would have said yes to Fitz's ultimatum, Eli (most likely) would have waited to make him puke, and then it would have never happened. I was done with the tears, and now I was left being bitter, indignant, and somewhat unforgiving.

"Clare?" my grandmother's knock at the door startled me from my thoughts and I felt myself tense reflexively, "What was that bang? Did one of the shelves fall?" I sighed and looked up at the ceiling.

"No. I'm alright." I responded in the most docile tone I could muster.

"Oh." there was a pause and I could almost hear her struggling with whether or not to try to make conversation, "Can I come in?"

My grandmother had easily been able to detect that something was off when I had gotten there. My parents knew something had happened at the dance, but I wasn't about to tell them, or anyone else. At the same time, I couldn't just be normal and pretend it had never happened.

The first two days I had spent bawling my eyes out up in my bedroom, barely managing to keep it together during mealtimes, which were silent and just as depressing. Once the saltwater Niagara Falls had ceased to exist, I walked around the house, but remained silent.

I had felt guilty at first; I hadn't seen my Gram in months, and it was supposed to be time for us to catch up. But then I remembered that my parents' marriage was slowly crumbling from the inside out, my sister was off in Kenya saving the world while mine fell apart, for the first time in my life I was doubting my faith, and I had almost lost the one person that was beginning to matter. Suddenly I didn't feel quite so bad anymore.

"Sure." I answered flatly. Gram entered the room slowly and settled herself at the foot of the bed, resting a hand gently on my feet.

"Are you feeling better? You've seemed upset these past few days." she observed tentatively.

"Yes. Thank you." I replied indifferently, brushing my bangs from my eyes. Gram smiled.

"It's nice to see those pretty eyes again." she remarked. My mind automatically, connecting one subject to the next.

'Eyes. Pretty-'

"Eli." the name danced across my lips before I even registered that I should try to hold it back.

ELI.

"You know what, fine. We're done. Goodbye, Eli." Julia's brown eyes were on fire as she stalked over to her bike. I ran a hand through my hair and tried to think rationally through my anger. We'd been screaming at eachother for so long I was having some trouble remembering exactly what I was supposed to be apologizing for.

"Jules, wait-" She whipped around to face me.

"Save it Eli. I'm finished." I watched hopelessly as she pedalled off into the darkness, waiting a split second before running after her.

I followed her out onto the main road.

"Jules, please-" There was a thundering car horn, a screech of tires, and I watched in horror as Julia was thrown onto the asphalt.

I ran over to her and gathered her body into my arms. But it wasn't Julia anymore. It was Clare. Fitz's knife was protruding from her side, and I could see the blood seeping through her clothes onto my hands.

"Clare-"

"It's okay, Eli, I forgive you." Clare wheezed, "It's not your fault."

Slowly, her blue eyes closed, and didn't open again.

I awoke suddenly, drenched in a cold sweat, gasping for air.

Sitting up in bed, I ran my hands through my hair and looked around the room. The early morning sunlight was seeping in through my dark curtains and I could hear my dad doing something in the kitchen. A new day was dawning. How fan-fucking-tastic.

I took a deep breath and swung my legs over the edge of my bed and rested my head in my hands. I hadn't had nightmares like this since Julia had died.

I glanced at my nightstand and realized I hadn't even bothered to answer my phone in days. I had been too busy wallowing in self pity. I reached over and grabbed it.

Four new text messages from Adam Torres

Eli. I'm sorry about what happened at the dance, man? You want to hang?

Dude, there's a sale at Comix Emporium, want to go?

Eli- I know you're upset about Fitz and Clare, but you've got to let it go for now. You can get her back after break.

Oh my God. My mom's been talking to the school board. Simpson wasn't kidding when he said things were going to change.

I smirked. Adam was probably having a spaz for no reason. There was absolutely nothing they could do that would change Degrassi short of setting the school on fire and building another one on top of the ashes. The place was almost cursed with over-hyped teen drama.

I scanned the messages again and noticed there were none from Clare. I cursed myself yet again for not trying to talk to her before she left for Kingston.

I tossed my phone back onto my bed and stumbled out of my bedroom and down to the kitchen.

My father was sitting at the kitchen table reading the paper and drinking out of an economy-sized coffee mug. I doubt he would have noticed me walk in even if I had come in naked and confessed to him that I was gay. Ever since mom died when I was thirteen, we've been more like roommates than anything else. Roommates that ignore each other and pretend the other one doesn't exist. He claimed it was because I reminded him of her. Because we had the same eyes. There was probably some evil teacher that was secretly in love with her out there somewhere too, a la Harry Potter.

"Your school called last night, Elijah." I stopped in the middle of pouring my cereal. I hadn't heard my dad speak in well over a week and a half. This was not how I pictured our next conversation. I turned to face him.

"Yeah? What did they say?" I asked casually. Maybe they wanted to commend me on my heroic behavior at Vegas Night.

"They wanted me to be made aware that the school will be taking disciplinary actions following your behavior at the end of term dance. Is there anything you want to tell me Elijah?" he asked impatiently. I rolled my eyes.

"Didn't they already tell you?" I countered defensively. My father folded his paper and removed his glasses in what I assumed was an attempt at looking stern and parental. I had force back a laugh.

"No, as a matter of fact, they did not. They assumed you had already told me the details." This time I did laugh.

"Right. Because we're just so close that I tell you everything important." My temper had been so close to the boiling point these last few days and I could feel it dangerously close to an explosion. Dad narrowed his eyes.

"Elijah stop being dramatic and please enlighten me." he stated in an exasperated tone.

"Fine. You really want to know? I made a sociopathic neanderthal come after me and my girlfriend with a knife. How's that for enlightenment?" I snapped back at him. He sat up straighter in his seat and blinked a few times.

"Well. I'm glad you aren't hurt, but Elijah you should know better than to taunt someone with anger problems. Think of Julia-" I felt my eyes widen and the anger bubbled over.

"How could you even say that." I snarled, "How dare you compare to that asshole to her!"

"Elijah-"

"Just stop dad! Would you have even noticed if I didn't come home that night?" I took a deep breath, and walked back towards the stairs. Either my father had the good sense not to answer, or just didn't bother to respond at all.

Wordlessly I ran up the steps and automatically grabbed Morty's keys and my phone. I needed to escape this prison of a house.

I left the house without even bother to try to make up with my dad. He'd most likely forget the whole thing in about a week anyways.

I sent a quick text to Adam as I started Morty's engine.

Coming to get you in ten. We're going out.

He responded within the minute.

Nice to see you haven't fallen off the face of the planet. Where're we going?

I smirked.

Absolutely no idea.

A/N- Eh. So there's the first chapter, hope you enjoyed. I'm not going to hold the next chapter hostage until I get X amount of reviews, but they definitely help me know whether or not this story is worth continuing! I'm open to any kind of criticism, plot ideas, OOC critiques, whatever you've got to say :)

Song for this chapter is Falling into History by Brie Larson

Sydney

Disclaimer- I do not own Degrassi. If I did, Eli & Clare would have had more screentime during the boiling point :)